Best MEDIEVAL WEAPONS for SANTA CLAUSE? - FANTASY RE-ARMED

[@tenshimusouka5820]

You’re missing one of Santa’s strongest powers: he would know exactly what he would encounter before encountering it. He’s always watching and judging the naughty. This means he will always be able to pick his fights and engage on his terms.

[@Paradox-es3bl]

In theory, he actually only does this AT the North Pole, which means come Christmas Eve, he won't know exactly until he gets back. I don't quite remember what MatPat math'd it out to... but I think that's like 18 hours he doesn't know, if he's exploiting time zones. Not that that's super relevant... but it could mess things up a bit. Especially if someone HAD been nice up until some point AFTER he started his journey. Of course, that seems like a very unlikely case. What are the odds someone SUDDENLY becomes naughty in those exact 18 hours and not the other million or whatever in the year? Lol

[@hearsemonkey]

Santa is used to going down chimneys, I think he has some good fire resistance. Maybe even full immunity.

[@Katzztar]

That's what I've been saying= fire immunity! Not sure it'd extend to his sleigh or reindeer though

[@Of_Leng]

Exactly what I was thinking.

[@grbdevnull5611]

But does the sleigh? That wasn't designed for going down chimneys, and he would want to keep that from becoming too crispy.

[@s.owl9]

I like to think that Santa stays with the Sleigh and the elves drop down to deliver presents to many houses at a time. They’re small enough to fit through chimneys, and could have a way to put out and relight the fires. They might not even go down chimneys (that might be people’s mistaken rationalization of an impossible task like breaking into every house in one night) they could just break into people’s houses without leaving any trace because of their high dexterity & engineering skills.

[@patrick_j_lee]

@@s.owl9 Except we know that Santa goes down the chimney himself from eyewitness accounts (see "The Night Before Christmas").

[@Mac4s]

I wasn't expecting carpet bombing Santa with flechettes today, but here we are.

[@Nitehawke]

Back in my day we called those lawn darts and they were toys given to children, ROFL. Ah, the good old days!

[@matt00041]

@Nitehawke Were those the things you'd throw up in the air and then run away when they came down? Those things were awesome! Also, it's a miracle my brothers and I all lived to adulthood.

[@Nitehawke]

@matt00041 well, yeah, although technically there were rings you were supposed to aim for (as opposed to aiming for each other, lol). I think it was Kentucky Ballistics who recently did a video on just how dangerous Jarts really were. It was quite entertaining and yeah, it's amazing how many of us survived!

[@scottybreuer]

If you didn't know the flechettes were coming, you obviously haven't been paying close enough attention.

[@angel-ry9mb]

Merry Christmas nerds

[@HS-su3cf]

Santa and the elves had to fight back against the goblins. This is documented in the letters he sent to J. R. R. Tolkien's kids.

[@stratometal]

Oh snap! Epic.

[@엘제-k9u]

So Santa is Goblin Slayer, canonically?

[@janregenda5573]

​@@엘제-k9uwh3re do you think th Goblin-cleaver came from?

[@desecratedcake3875]

This is true. Confirmed by Christopher Tolkien

[@HS-su3cf]

@@엘제-k9u Well, partly. The North Polar Bear did most of the actual slaying.

[@kamenriderkfp6684]

Well Santa Claus is technically a saint(Saint Nicholas). So clearly he would wield The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch With his flight capabilities and potential for infinite Holy Hand Grenades at hand Santa would be able to control the battlefield, lay siege, and repel assaulters through aerial superiority and sheer destructive firepower

[@Alpha.Phenix]

But think of the collateral damage! Santa wouldn't go around tossing hand grenades in town!

[@kamenriderkfp6684]

@Alpha.Phenix See that's the genius of it. He comes at night so no one will see him act and now he can hire out his elves for repair and construction work to get income in to run his business for the rest of the yearly stretch to next Holiday season. World wide collateral damage will wrack in the cash

[@jon-paulfilkins7820]

But foiled by rabbits, hence why they have easter, as agreed in the peace treaty and wot not!

[@yetanotherspuart3993]

Golf Club and Holy Hand grenade would be an unstoppable combo!

[@attemptedunkindness3632]

Canonically it's a whip which is a great choice. It stings and maims but doesn't kill, saintly enough. It's got the range. It helps keep his flying reindeers (which are a weapon in and of themselves) in line as well as elves. It reminds the naughty they are naughty, and helps him descend and ascend chimneys for the gifts for the good.

[@matthewneuendorf5763]

Historically, he is known for his unarmed combat skills, striking heretics and blocking weapons, and as a bishop he would have access to and familiarity with a staff. He was also known for his asceticism, so if you're looking for a D&D class, monk probably fits pretty well.

[@Margatatials]

My thought was knuckle dusters would be useful against heretics

[@JohnnyOrc]

Being a monk would also help with getting through chimneys

[@DrGeorgePBurdell-USN-1701]

Legit was looking for the "he don't need no weapons, he uses his fists to knock out heretics" comment. Was not disappointed.

[@dmitritelvanni4068]

Lol true story. Just learned about that this year.

[@simondeep]

Since modern Santa has incorporated various traditions over the years, let’s not forget the St Boniface DLC. Man chopped down a tree dedicated to the germanic deity of actual donner and blitzen Therefore: I propose Axes in the next edition update

[@smokym1088]

I left a claymore out for Santa once and came back Christmas day to see a massive bite taken out of it.

[@benkayvfalsifier3817]

....Santa needs his iron intake.

[@pedrohenrique-et3fs]

Great idea for a weapon, good range when flying, help to shield the gifts while controlling the field with the weapon swings.

[@RogaineForEwoks]

Santa turned it into a clayless.

[@Maedhros0Bajar]

the one that goes bang, the greatsword or the basket-hilted broadsword?

[@michaelshelton5488]

That would explain how he got all those flechettes

[@EthnicWeeb]

SANTA DENIERS NOT WELCOME THIS IS A JOLLY NEIGHBOURHOOD

[@montecorbit8280]

"....won't you be my neighbor?...." Hopefully you get that reference....

[@nathanieln.1732]

So, so happy to see Fantasy Re-Armed making a comeback! Hope we get more of this kind of video in the future! One other possible approach for Santa to take on a dragon involves an ability you mentioned at the beginning, but never made use of later in the video: time manipulation. If Santa could manipulate time so that, from his perspective, the dragon is moving a whole lot slower than normal, then he might be able to fly right up close to the dragon and jam a spear, lance, sword, or even a dagger in between the dragon's scales, then simply fly off. Dodging the dragon's flames would be no difficulty in this case, since, as mentioned, time would be moving a lot more slowly from Santa's perspective due to his time manipulation.

[@attemptedunkindness3632]

Being an expert flying animal rider he may not even need a weapon, using the antlers and kicking hooves of his steeds he could direct the dragon in a pass by to get close enough for him to jump on the dragon, where Santa will begin jamming fistfuls of coal into the dragon's nostrils like a stocking smothering the dragon of breath and making it's most dangerous attack, it's flame breath a liable harm against himself. Would have to land before blacking out neutralizing itself as a threat against Santa. Santa would then hop back on his chariot, writing the dragon's forbidden thirty syllable long arcane name on the naughty list and shaking his head disapprovingly before leaving the Dragon to hack up the coal, because Santa doesn't kill being a saint and all, doesn't need to either.

[@marhawkman303]

@@attemptedunkindness3632 I'd go for a halberd. A long slashing weapon you can swing during a fly-by. Maybe aim for the wing to knock the dragon out of the sky.

[@boxhead6177]

A coal powered flamethrower, helps clear ice and snow, perfect counter to the snowman, Jack frost, winter based enemies that often appear in stories of great evil trying to ruin Xmas.

[@BanyanBirb]

Why not just a snow thrower

[@qsterino]

Ho-ho-ho, your Mistletoe is no match for my TOW-missile!

[@The_One_With_The_Bowtie]

Tolkien’s children got letters from Santa and he told them about all the goblins he has to fight in the North Pole

[@jimmydean7219]

Shad, only just started the video, and you already missed one of Santa’s most important abilities: weight manipulation. The man can lift a sack containing gifts for every man woman and child. He is iether super strong and super grounded, or he can manipulate the weight of items. He clearly needs a giant sword.

[@derskeptiker4679]

bag of holding does not change the weight and always weighs the same no matter how full it is. you don't need super strength.

[@benkayvfalsifier3817]

​@@derskeptiker4679 But that's D&Ds rules. Could be hammer space aka toon force ability.

[@S1RLANC3]

I must agree with the bag of holding being the solution but also do feel that this video can be expanded like on XMas or something like that. lol

But that comes bundled with his shape-shifting power. When he shape-shifts to get into houses, he also shifts the presents or even the whole Bag of Holding.

[@seanmadson8524]

Whether his sack is being influenced by his powers or just a magical object is unclear, so he may not have that power directly. He could just have enchanted items, like how the suit and the sleigh are often depicted as magical

[@jhilal2385]

Nicomund Der Rott prefers a 2-handed hammer named Skullcrusher, but will use an ordinary sledgehammer, a bag of billiard balls, or Christmas ornaments such as tree-topper stars if necessary. watch the movie "Violent Night" (2022) starring David Harbour as 🎅

[@octaviusmorlock]

Exactly what I was thinking!

[@jakubp.6987]

But what about DRAGONS?! 😂 Thats the good old Shad right there.

[@skasteve6528]

Dragons like getting presents too. They won't risk being put on the naughty list.

[@jakubp.6987]

@@skasteve6528 Half the joy of a gift is unwrapping it. So the ideal gift for a dragon would be a warrior in full plate armor.

[@marhawkman303]

@@jakubp.6987 hahah, hmm on the off-chance Santa did need to do it though I'd go for a halberd style weapon. the sleigh can do flybys reasonably well, so just swing it as you pass.

[@KanbeiOda]

DAMN! Now I want a movie where Santa fights goblins and dragons on his journey to deliver gifts to good children. Thanks for the video and merry Christmas Shad

[@user-db4fy5ji8e]

Also an army of demons commanded by krampus.

[@travissmith2848]

Ever seen the Rankin Bass production of The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus? Not as action oriented as you'd probably like, but might give a hint of what such could be like. Particularly if you pair it with North's fights in Rise of the Guardians.

[@illegal_space_alien]

Brought to you by the guys who made Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Book it.

[@cavalieroutdoors6036]

Im an American. Santa Clause has contact at Sig Sauer and Lockheed Martin. All the Reindeer have level IV carriers and plates, Rudolph carries a Sig P320 and an XM250, the rest of the Reindeer have an XM5, in .277 Fury of course. And the sligh has been retrofitted to replace the ballista with two Browning M2s facing the front, and no less than four Hellfire missiles. That dragon is gonna have a hard, short flight this Christmas.

[@PhukYu2]

You sir win an internet!

[@GuitarsRockForever]

Why not put the same gun as on A10? Dragon would have a really hard time.

[@marhawkman303]

@@GuitarsRockForever depends on the dragon. Hip modern dragons have mithril scales. :p

[@Kanudelgruber]

Santa's letters to the Tolkien household in the 1940s tell us of the goblin attacks... We should also consider that Santa lives in a pretty unforgiving wilderness: I could see him dealing with the occasional seal or polar bear trying to snatch away a stray elf.

[@attemptedunkindness3632]

A man who can bear all the gifts for and entire planet on his back is not one to be trifled with. He stalks the cold wastelands in bold red while meeker polar bears camouflage themselves in obeisance. That is not fat, that is the herculean musculature of a gorilla beneath that jolly crimson coat. Humans are wise to leave cookies and milk for this force of nature. Millenia ago the haughty elves refused to offer this humble tribute and have been enslaved to near extinction since.

[@Robsta42]

And yet, reading the primary sources here, but it seems like most of the goblin-fighting in that war wasn't being done by the man in red himself, but by the North Polarbear.

[@kevinsears7300]

​@@attemptedunkindness3632bags of holding can carry anything without dealing with weight

[@danielharrison7289]

Yes, but Karhu himself said Santa was wonderful in the battle. Lots of explosions.

[@JCOwens-zq6fd]

Saint Nicholas was no pushover, he punched Arias in the face for Blasphemy. Many of the original Icons of Saint Nicolas we have in Eastern Orthodoxy depict him holding a sword, often in conjunction with other symbols like a bishop’s mitre, a Gospel book, or a model of a ship (representing his patronage of sailors). Merry Christmas!!

[@kevinsears7300]

Saint Nicholas also had a bad thing for children... Saint Christopher was the one with presents for orphans... Saint Christopher was depicted with brown monklike robes. And he had a Lyrapipe hat. Nicholases robes were white with gold accents, but are sometimes depicted stained blood red, as he was very similar to the Inquisitors of spain... Nicholas and Olaf were warmongers. Not peaceful men at all... Oh, and the 'angels' are really just men from around 200AD. THOSE came from a political smear campaign because Cardinal Michael was returing, and Gabriel and Lucifet fought over the position... but Azrael got it. The bible names no angels, and the fall happens when god deatroys earth... Revelations is clear, tge angels will fall on a meteor, god cleanses the earth in fire, using the Seraphim (hebrew for fiery ones) and cherubim(beastly ones, with heads if goats and lions) Its also worth noting the only winged angel in the bible is the one riding the meteor of the appocalypse down. The crater is the pit and hel is Norse Mythology 😂 loki's daughter, and helheim is where traitors go. Biblically, no hell. Yiu either ascend to heaven, or your a ghost on earth till god destroys it... And thats ONLY revelations... over 90% of what people THINK is in that book, isnt in there.

[@joelperry8939]

​@@kevinsears7300 both Michael and Raphael are named in the Bible.

[@Kraleck]

Obviously he'd have access to Gungnir since Odin was Santa to the Vikings. Likely he'd be able to use magic to transmute toy soldiers into a unit of full-sized ones. A dagger is a given for whittling wooden toys and as a backup weapon.

[@ihtfp01]

I came here to make sure ODIN was represented! Thank you.

[@powerangler3423]

happy jól

[@geargrinder7714]

Lmao there's a whole Weird Al song about the weapons that Santa is proficient with

[@rRecoveryProd]

The night Santa went crazy. But Shad is not into ballistics.

[@SirLancelot3086]

Shadiversity...because everyone - EVERYONE - needs a medieval weapon! Merry Christmas Shad!

[@Margatatials]

I am Pretty sure that St Nicholas of Myra was meant to be fond of his fists and (allegedly) punched the heretic Arius getting himself kicked out of the council of Nicea. So he should be armed with knuckle dusters.

[@arcshadowstorm]

This is exactly the sort of content we expect here

[@chuckwolf9869]

Santa's Sleigh already has 2 massive weapons attached to it, the Runners on the bottom of it are basically giant long ice skate blades, they're sharp, just making a run past a flying enemy with the blades would cause massive damage. Also Rudolph's nose is basically a laser blaster if he alters it's intensity enough. Oh and I'm inclined to believe Santa's "elves" are actually Gnomes due to their stature and propensity for crafting and tinkering.

[@PJDAltamirus0425]

...Fun fact, Rudoplh was needed for dragons. Everytime you don't see a dragon in the sky, thank Santa :P

[@procow2274]

In Futurama every year robot santa brings everyone together in fear

[@DanielMWJ]

Santa Claus is gu~nning you do~~~wn.

[@NathanCassidy721]

Except for you. Here’s a pogo stick.

[@reginaldwooster235]

​@@NathanCassidy721 Hooray!

[@kirbymarchbarcena]

SANTA CLAUS: It's that wonderful time of the year (reaching for his axe in his gift bag) KRAMPUS: Someone's gonna rump-pa-pam-pam tonight (reaching for his cleaver from his back)

[@PJDAltamirus0425]

Santa Clause is definately a poleaxe lover. Also, less fat than he looks, alot of is the coat and armor. Like imagine knightly armor and a thick coat over a Murmmillo gladiator.

[@KeeseGaming]

Can't believe this is a video. I'm here for it lol

[@stephenadams8712]

Krampus could be a interesting villain to fight Santa

[@TheBl00D1u5t]

Or jack frost

[@Chrisspru]

krampus and santa are not enemies in folklore. krampus is an elder nature spirit, grim and scary but mistly just and nurturing. santa is a combination of two conncepts: saint nicolas ( who has his own day in europe) and father frost (a jolly new years version of odin). i wonder if odin, similar to how he accepted ragnarok, would accept jesus christ.

[@andret3739]

Wasnt Krampus one of Santa's assistants? Santa brings gifts to the well behaved and Krampus punishes the naughty

[@Chrisspru]

@andret3739 later on yes. krampus turned into an ally of santa.

[@scribblescrabble3185]

Krampus might be more like Santa's henchman for the dirty work.

[@Maedhros0Bajar]

2:30 monsters he could run across? Krampus is all but guaranteed (was the End Boss at our DnD session last Wednesday). Santa was a Greek from Byzantine Anatolia, he could firebomb shit with Greek Fire, I imagine

[@lukediehl1210]

I'm biased, but I think Santa would carry a bec. You know, kind of like a giant ice axe. Polearm supremacy...

[@DanielMWJ]

Nah. He nicked Gungnir after Odin's death. He clearly studied under Odin for a while.

[@pangolion9285]

Santa can travel at relativistic speeds (near speed of light) to deliver his presents all in one night. Throwing anything at that speed would turn it into a deadly projectile. Now also consider that Santa also has infinite amount of coal for naughty kids and Santa would have a coal throwing rail gun at his disposal.

[@yetanotherspuart3993]

A coal launching rail gun is my new want in D&D!

[@xSkye629x]

The biggest weapon Santa wields is fear. Children the world over are terrified of ending up on his naughty list. He possess abilities considered by many to be unnatural. Has a chariot powered by magic reindeer and an army of mini-elves at his beck and call. Industrial production capabilities that put every country on earth to shame. Wives sneak out to wait for him to come down the chimney (to their partner's dismay). And like Thanos, he is inevitable and comes on the 25th of every December Oh yeah, he also consumes your cookies and milk. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays everyone

[@dragons_advocate]

Shad, you missed the point: Saint Nicholas punched a dude during the council of Nicaea --- Meaning Santa is a fist fighter! 👊 💪

[@scottybreuer]

I came here to make this comment.

[@anthonylamonica8301]

@@scottybreuer Apparently a _lot_ of us did. It seems he isn't wearing red just to stand out.

[@attemptedunkindness3632]

I was going to say at most he uses a whip to keep his reindeer and uppity elves in check. A man who carries an entire planet's worth of gifts on his back can hop off his chariot and suplex a dragon into the ground as a warm up routine, that ain't fat that is the a musculature of a gorilla under that jolly red coat.

[@jonwashburn7999]

This is what I like about your channel.

[@songsandthings1130]

According to Santa Claus is Coming to Town (movie), Santa is friends with the Winter Warlock and he enchants things for Santa. So, he could have enchanted weapons. I also think Santa has some mind reading abilities since he always seems to instinctively know what kind of present a person wants which could be an advantage in a fight or stop the fights from even happening in the 1st place.

[@Alacrity199]

Great video Shad. As the video ran I was chuckling that it sounded like a progressive D&D build, then you said "bag of holding" and I laughed out loud. That said you forgot to mention one of Santa's best allies, he has a pact with the Krampus...

[@robo5013]

Do bags of holding no longer have size limits for the items that can be placed in them or maximum volumes they can hold or can you just fit everything in them now?

[@jackstretch-jones1430]

Just realised he has a whip, to get the reindeer shifting, maybe it is a extended cat'o'nine tails whip with barbs and spikes at the end

[@attemptedunkindness3632]

He's too saintly for that, probably just uses it like Indiana Jones to disarm people and to get up and down chimneys.

[@PhilBagels]

Yes, and remember that the sleigh itself is an effective weapon. Remember what happened to Grandma?

[@isidornimages]

Lol, never thought of Santa's sleigh as a chariot, nor his sack of presents as a bag of holding. Things make a lot more sense now! I think it's safe to assume Santa has some kind of fire protection magic, he's entering houses through the chimney after all. If he can extend that beyond himself to include the sleigh is another matter.

[@Kargoneth]

His sleigh reaches well-beyond escape velocity. It would be a meteor. Definitely fire immunity.

[@NoTengoStand]

Shad suggesting Flails is the real Christmas Miracle.

[@survivordave]

You should have mentioned his unarmed capabilities too. St. Nicholas is well known for the coins he left in stockings of course to give charity in secret but he's also famous for punching the heretic Arius, which led to him being temporarily defrocked 😂

[@anthonylamonica8301]

Just until the Council of Nicaea ended, if I recall correctly. And only because Justinian didn't want heretic fluids splattered all over the documents the other Biblical Scholars were studying and debating.

[@Kargoneth]

Due to his command over time, Santa's kinetic energy is insane. He can move at hundreds or thousands of kilometers per second. That's well-past escape velocity. A dragon wouldn't stand a chance. All Santa would have to do is drop a handful of coal overboard and they would become airbursts, a la Chelyabinsk, only smaller-scale. Merry Christmas (or whatever you celebrate) to Shad, his family, and everyone else, and a Happy New Year too!

[@Kargoneth]

Fire immunity. Radiant immunity. Thunder immunity. Cold immunity. Teleportation. Invisibility. Phase shifting. Size changing. Truesight. Aura of Truth. I think Santa would be a Celestial. Lawful Good.

[@scribblescrabble3185]

For the little helpers I would suggest (D&D) gnomes. Not only are they known for their tinkering and hiding (Santas home is hidden), but also for their good nature and their dislike for those greedy goblins. As weapons they would use picks, crossbows and alchemical concoctions, and certainly would be familiar with the ballistas on Santas sleigh.

[@NuchiAsaki]

They may even be the ones who built and mounted them.

[@Fatherofheroesandheroines]

This brings a new meaning to Santa's slay.

[@Ghislain82]

You forgot about the part in the dragon fight where the sleigh catches fire and Santa and the elves have to get on each reindeer and cut the sleigh loose. At that point you could have 9 individual reindeer flying around the dragon all armed with lances weilded by elves on their backs 😁

[@Zmon3595]

Of course when we consider what Santa would fight Shad pitches.”Well what about Dragons”

[@Hacker_rex04yt]

He certainly has strength to be able to give a good slap/punch. Ask Arius.

[@matthewlong9369]

True, he slapped Arius in 375 and his people didn't give us any trouble until the 1940s. (Yes, I know they are different. I am ignoring it for the joke.)

[@joebuckley2180]

Great video, Shad. Your Fantasy Re-Armed is probably my favorite series and usually see the most enthusiasm from you in the videos

[@JustTooDamnHonest]

You should watch Violent Night(2022) that stars David Harbor as Santa Claus and in that universe his origin comes from viking culture and his weapon of choice was a sledgehammer and one of his powers is his immortality comes from the power of brief(so he can never die as long as people believe in him).

[@redmage777]

Believe?

[@JustTooDamnHonest]

@@redmage777 Sorry a bit of a typo there and thank you for the correction.

[@BennyDogwasp]

Immorality or immortality? I think Santa is probably a pretty moral sort of dude.

[@JustTooDamnHonest]

@@BennyDogwasp I meant immortality(typo) 😓

[@ruhalajn]

I'd like to take credit for this. I asked for more of these a few weeks ago. No one does it better. Thanks, Shad.

[@7lllll]

my initial reaction was, why would santa even fight? and i laughed hard when he talked about greedy dragons

[@Margatatials]

St Nicholas of Myra was alleged to have punched the Heretic Arius at the council of Niccea, so apparently he as a hot head. there is some great art depicting it

[@firefox-op1ok]

More videos like this please shad. Also given the history of the real Saint Nick, I think a backup pair of gauntlets or medieval brass knuckles would be quite fitting.

[@dlseller]

Merry Xmas to Shad and the comment sections. Good will to men and peace on earth.

[@AnimaVox_]

Santa wields swords in William Joyce's Guardians of Childhood, so that's what I'm rolling with.

[@joelperry8939]

For the potential enemies, you are forgetting heretics like Arius (although, his unarmed strike seemed pretty effective) and slave-trading pirates.

[@bryce4228]

Fantasy Re-Armed is my favorite series Shad does. Hope he's going to continue doing these again.

[@dr.cliche7560]

If you've seen Puss in Boots 2, I'd like to imagine Santa fighting like a holy version of Big Jack Horner. Basically pulling out magic (ideally toy-themed) items from his sack, to deal with the current enemy/situation.

[@CLAPGriffin]

I had presumed that the elves would be your standard Ice Elf, who is generally smaller than a Wood Elf or High Elf because of the climate they developed in.

[@Likexner]

But in the real world, "ice" animals are usually bigger, not smaller. Like polar bears or wolves. Or Scandinavians.

[@AfricanTransplant39]

Shad, you should look up the artwork that the u s military does for santa.Every year he is jacked

[@audreyc3398]

Where can I find this art?

[@AfricanTransplant39]

@audreyc3398 oh dear. I actually don't know. I have a former military friend who sends them to me every year.

[@Katzztar]

Santa is known to come down chimneys. This means he has fire immunity. Think of it, back in medieval times, they didn't have heating systems except for fireplaces. This means, back in those days, chimneys he'd go down would be lit. But for Shad's sake and his daydream of Santa vs Dragon= Santa himself has fire immunity but can't extent this power to his sleigh or his reindeer. So he needs that pressure hose to defend them.

[@JustinPrice-r8j]

Especially since winter solstice is the absolute coldest day of the year.

[@reptiloidmitglied2930]

If the dragon can melt steel its fire surpasses every chimney in its temperature. That might be enough to harm Santa.

[@Furluge]

I believe the historical record shows that St. Nicolas prefers to use his MIGHTY SAINT FISTS when he has to layeth the beat down for the Lord. XD. ( Saint Nicolas is recorded as punching Arius in the face at Nicea.)

[@Reeuwijk78]

Shad, you're the writer here. I'm thinking of working titles here. "Santa , the dragonslayer" "Goblinator II" Even thinking of music lyrics: "Slashing trough the snow, with a ballista blded sleigh..., flaying all the way..."

[@SmithandWesson22A]

1030pm Christmas Eve, and I am watching Shad discuss Santa slaying goblins. Not sure who is crazier, me or him. 😅

[@luminusprime]

Santa Claus is by definition an artificer, so you know he's got a sweet autoloading repeater crossbow that shoots rocket bolts with enchanted heads for various magical effects. Anyone who messes with his sacred mission is getting filled with ho-ho-holes. The sleigh probably transforms into mechanized armor.

[@procow2274]

Mounted ballista on the back was literally what i was thinking

[@johnedgar7956]

This is brilliant Shad! 🙂This makes for a great basis for a Christmas-themed D&D game, ha ha. The sleigh is a chariot! It needs some equivalent of Spartacus-style wheel axle spikes. And yes, a huge bag of holding! Maybe it's the sleigh that handles the time manipulation effect, and he's using "Gaseous Form" to get down the chimneys? Maybe the chimney thing is just apocryphal and he's just using teleport or "dimension door" to get in people's houses? And arming him with flechettes is kinda dark but also hilarious. 🙂Thank you for the most fun thought exercise I've had in a while!

[@NuklearNannerz]

Santa Sleighs or Santa Slays!!! Merry Christmas Shad! from the right-side-up. Loved this video thank you!

[@DanielMWJ]

He wields the Sleighhammer.

[@trfinley7076]

Considering that Santa operates at night, he must have night vision capabilities for stealth attacks, he navigates chimneys and not every fireplace would presumably not be in use in what would be the middle of winter for half the world. That might imply some kind of fireproofing magic to combat the dragon's most dangerous attribute.

[@montecorbit8280]

Pertaining to Santa: Supposedly, Santa is the most powerful of the mutants. Stronger, faster, more everything than all the X-Men combined.... Pertaining to Santa's sleigh: You didn't take into account his reindeer! You ever seen a reindeer and their antlers? They're formidable....and when you factor in that they are probably mutants as well, for all we know they got lasers in their eyeballs, or they can rack up MegaVolt charges between there antlers and shoot The bolts at airborne foes. On top of that with his fast as Santa would have to fly, (somebody calculated it to be approximately Mach 3,000), his greatest weapon is speed. Like the SR-71 Blackbird, if something threatens it open the throttles! Something threatened Santa and his sleigh give the reindeer a nudge.... On top of that, the reindeer could just plow into whatever is causing grief, at that speed they would turn the enemy into smoke. Since the deer are mutants as well, and there is considerable amounts of magic involved to do what they are capable of doing, they would be unharmed. So just use them as a battering ram....

[@dominiclapinta8537]

He is slightly weaker outside of December. But he is very powerful as he can, though strength alone, bind time and space so as they will slow and always be big enough so that he can deliver to all residents of earth in one eight hour period. Also, he is a being of immense power, as when he speaks the words Merry Christmas before he goes forthward, when he speaks those words, it causes all hostility within the atmosphere, to cease from existing.

[@lordnul1708]

The real question is why he'd need a weapon. In addition to time manipulation, size manipulation and/or superspeed/strength... He knows what houses and areas to avoid. Or as the song says.... 🎶 He knows if you've been sleeping, he knows if you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good 🎶 That said, South Park made him pretty decent with a baseball bat so he could probably use a club for immediate personal defense in the really small chance he actually ends up in danger. That or lawn darts since they're basically flechettes in all but shape and style, they got discontinued as a toy because they were actually lethal if you "caught" one with your head.

[@albusplaustrum06]

I can see Rudolph as a guidance system as Santa lines up an attack runs, naping the goblin hordes. His elves manning a ring mount ballista while circling aerial targets, given his speed and time dilation, any target being turned into a pincushion.

[@pspadotto]

Claus is Santa. Clause is legal. But, by all means, attack the lawyers. 😂

[@dewolfeFSP]

And I just watched Red One where we see a buff man in red.

[@kristianberg1587]

Santa would perhaps have a magic messer? «Hateslayer» -A sword that does not inflict any physical damage at all, but instead will flow through any material like a ghost sword, and fill any beeing with love if the sword can touch their hearts. 😂

[@ДенисЗаика-к7к]

A rather cheap and accessible solution - manure. Collected from the deer throughout the year. Stored in the bag of holding until required. Dumped on the dragon, chasing the sleigh. Huge emotional damage. Sticks to wings - the dragon is forced to land, ending the chase. Fertile fields - bonus achievement. As other projectiles cost money. And may need to be collected afteafterwardd no farmer complains about his fields getting showered in metal... And the dragon doesn't get damaged, so he gets to try again next time.

[@kaplahworm]

Shad, talking about not knowing what resistances Santa has, specifically with fire, is silly. He comes down chimneys, they have fire at the bottom so he must have an inherit fire resistance.

[@jamesbrown4092]

Now I've got the image stuck in my head of Santa shouting "Yippie Kai Ho Ho Ho ~BLEEP~" Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas Shad.

[@Echowhiskeyone]

When Shad was talking ballista and elves and Santa flying, I imagined Santa flying a B-17 with elves for crew and machine guns replaced with ballistae.

[@duanebouchard8736]

B-52 There is a reason it's called the BIG UGLY FAT FELLOW

[@markfergerson2145]

Santa is said to be “a jolly old elf” which explains many of his magical attributes. There are several estimates of the speed Santa’s sleigh would have to move. The general consensus seems to be in the neighborhood of five percent of the speed of light. That alone should make him dragon-proof. (This presumes that he does not teleport directly from one good child’s home to the next.) Santa himself and his suit and bag must be fireproof; at the bottom of every chimney is a fireplace and statistically he will find many of them lit when he arrives. His sleigh though, not necessarily, so while he would be personally immune to a lucky dragon’s attack his sleigh and reindeer would probably not be. He would be wise to depend on his speed/teleportation ability and only carry weapons as backup, and your suggestions fit well. On the other hand, who is to say that his bag of holding doesn’t contain presents for dragons too? If Santa is caught on the ground by a horde of goblins, his large stature compared to the rest of his elves (and your average goblin) suggests that he would benefit from examining your past considerations of weapons suitable for giants against humans. The war axe in the illustration might better be replaced by a war scythe, for instance. Also, you did not consider the reindeer. They can be quite aggressive especially during rutting season though that’s over before Christmas. Plus, male reindeer shed their antlers in the fall while females retain theirs until spring. Therefore, the reindeer would be quite capable of defending the sleigh if not Santa.

[@mennokonings8556]

he just remains so serious throughout the video, it almost seems lika april fools video, I'm chuckling so much.

[@devonterushdan3258]

I haven’t watched the video yet because I have work in a bit, but I already know from the title that this if gonna be a banger! I was worried that the boys were gonna run out of ideas with these frequent uploads, but this is a really creative video idea

[@Neferkariusz31]

Santa's opponents/enemies include, but aren't limited to: Krampus Grinch Jack Frost Woodland Creatures (South Park) Werewolf Moses (Epic Rap Battles of History)

[@gmanor20]

Love the fantasy rearmed series. Merry Christmas to you and your family Shad.

[@Nunchchucks]

This all sounds like a good idea for a new interpretation as a movie or anime 😅

[@jarax1764]

I did not expect fantasy rearmed episode on Christmas day. Also I did not expect you could turn Santa into so deadly warrior! :-D Anyway I wish you Merry Chrismast.

[@RilaAudio]

Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of archers, among other things.

[@RilaAudio]

Also how did you do this with a straight face. Not even a smirk.

[@Margatatials]

Good point

[@DrGeorgePBurdell-USN-1701]

​@@Margatatialswould that be an arrow point? I mean, OP was *cough * right on target...

[@RilaAudio]

​@@DrGeorgePBurdell-USN-1701Out

[@UnswimmingFishYT]

Never did I expect to see Shad talking about Santa making weapons for dragonslaying. It's a funny thing to see.

[@seanmadson8524]

15:25 You forgot his most incredible power. He doesn't just have infinite items, his sack can produce live puppies. This means his sack can create life itself, in infinite amounts. He could exterminate all life on earth and replace it all just as easily.

[@reptiloidmitglied2930]

But what if someone except Santa has to wish for those living beings?

[@seanmadson8524]

@reptiloidmitglied2930 I had considered mentioning that possibility, but I couldn't think of any instance where that type of rule was officially established. It makes sense, since traditionally his gifts are all specifically desired by someone, but just like how they say elves need to make the gifts, they abandon this logic any time he decides to start pulling additional items out of his sack that weren't a part of his Christmas plans

[@odotawaissaku3755]

Merry Christmas Shad, family, Tyranth, and friends. Merry Christmas Nathan, Nate, and Marcus as well

[@LucifersSlave]

if Santa ever needed a 'weapon,' it would be the ultimate tool of peace: a giant, magical candy cane that can sweeten any sour mood and disarm any Grinch with just one lick!

[@GenJuhru]

Oh I thought, it'd be used like a pimp's stick...

[@brokeandtired]

Also doubles as a MACE for making sure you're asleep...

[@Katzztar]

This brought to mind the picture from Victorian times of women using the curve of an umbrella's end as a weapon. then there's the image from early days where they'd drag someone offstage with a long cane to hook around the waist So now I'm picturing Santa with a giant candy cane using the end to grab Old Man Winter who was trying to ensnare Santa in a blizzard.

Gotta have a few particularly strong elves to wrangle those who don't want to lick the candy though. Also, that works exactly like Miquela's "kindness". He brings peace by mind-controlling people into being peaceful.

[@2bobtest]

Santa would put a dragon on the nice list for sure. a creature that is true to their nature and consistent in behavior is the most basic level of good. borrowing that infinite bag of holding to move around a dragon's horde in spring would make dragons and Santa best buds.

[@TheBl00D1u5t]

POST TO THE OTHER SITE!! you gotta keep up with it. We need you over there!

[@Grymbaldknight]

This close to Christmas, i don't have time to sit and watch this video. I'm sure it's great, but it's a busy time. I just wanted to stop by, leave a view, like, and comment to boost you guys in the algorithm. Merry Christmas!

[@tristanvoltaire2058]

This video got recommended just 5 minutes after coming out, due to me watching another video beforehand

[@darklightimages]

Honestly saw this video and immediately thought of North from Rise of the Guardians, and how they had Santa basically duel wielding Russian cavalry sabers. But the funny thing is in the rise of the guardian books he has a number of swords he uses. Rare two-handed Polish Keep Sweeper: North uses this sword to finish off the village's bear. The Tickler: A long sword crafted from the remains of a meteor. The Royal Slavic Hacker: A broad sword crafted from the remains of a meteor. Ottoman Field Clearer: A curved sword crafted from the remains of a meteor. King Tsar's XI Sword: A relic of the Moon Clipper that North uses for the rest of the series. The Man in the Moon and Ombric trusted North with this sword because of his advanced swordsmanship skills. I wonder what the real world counterpart to this swords would be.

[@thelastoferrathen613]

Brass knuckles for punching Arius.

[@lukediehl1210]

Santa's little known third list. Nice gets toys. Naughty gets coal. Heretics get bitch slapped.

[@roniciftci7112]

Merry Christmas to you, Shad. May you have a wonderful time.

[@TheBl00D1u5t]

A candy-Canesword

[@dony2852]

Santa has lots of coal. That means coal dust is readily available. Open the sack, flood the airspace behind him with dust and if the dragon tries to breath or santa tosses a fire cracker, dragon goes boom. Even if the dragon survives the flames, the force of the blast would knock it back and Santa would be on his merry way.