Best New Year Resolution: Fake Friend Out!

[@salemglitch]

I got discarded by my “best friend” (narcissist + enabler of my narcissistic ex) a few weeks ago. Could not enter the new year in a better way! This video hit just perfectly! 🖤

[@thawiseninja1559]

Exact same thing with me actually feeling better slowly

[@salemglitch]

@@thawiseninja1559 it gets better as time passes. You eventually let go of the anger and realise they did you a huge favor. And bonus point, you get to grow while most likely they will stay the same. Snakes in the grass :)

[@thawiseninja1559]

@@salemglitch 💯 your life will only get better after this

[@salemglitch]

@@DeCoR18 no meaning, at least not for me, i just like the color

[@shabanbala8533]

After i have cut off al fake around me. I'm alone now. No-one left!

[@Bornintoclusterb]

“Weakness of character is indistinguishable from evil.” Weak people terrify me too, Sam. Great video, no more fake friends in 2023.

[@raahustaja7267]

A true narcissist would not give an advice like this. I can t think of anything more crucial to ones mental health than a choice of friends. But if you have been raised in a narcissistic family system/sick culture of ours, where do you find real, genuine and sane people? You may have to do some searching.

[@katiecat5500]

@@raahustaja7267 Yes, its far and few between.

[@nathansmith6365]

Thats hard and brutal....such as is truth

[@amberstuart1209]

I feel the same way

[@techworld6879]

My condolences. We were surrounded by these fakes for a decade. When you see it, you cannot un-see it. We fled, told nobody where we were going. They all were desperate to find out where we went, but not to help or sympathize with us, but to simply get the scoop and tell anyone who cared. We started over. Not looking back. No loyalty no morality you hit this out of the park. My wife and i love your videos. All classics I lived under the Overt then covert narcissist for 59 years !!!!!

[@elizabethnone4956]

(.

[@Tenzin62]

I did three decades. Free now.

[@lacecurtainirish]

2021 was my year of removing fake, toxic people from my life, both family and friends. No regrets, but there was definitely a period of grief. It has required a great deal of self reflection though, as I find it necessary to understand the dynamics and why I allowed them to occur. It hasn’t been easy but it has been worth it. I have a peace in my life now that I’ve never experienced and it’s amazing.

[@bengould1178]

The best things in life really are free: things like unconditional love, humour and compassion. A true friend understands the joy of giving and will always act in your interest, even when telling you what you don't want to hear.

[@jodythompson9424]

Agreed. I'm sorry about your falling out with Richard. I could never relate to him. He comes across as angry and bitter. May peace come your way soon.

[@2sheperd3]

Richard is not worth listening to. Don't be a friend of a snake because when you're back is turned, it'll snap and bite you.

[@seriouscat2231]

@@2sheperd3, it's spelled your. Not you're, which is short for "you are".

[@enoch6977]

Your being too picky with you're corrections.

[@mskitt49]

Thank you Dr. Vaknin! As always, your advice and comments are accurate and on point! Last year I walked away from a 40 year, fake friendship! And this year I walked away from a 35 year fake friendship! Walking away hurt, but staying would have totally wrecked me! Again, Dr. Vaknin, thank you!

[@dorianmorgenstern1267]

Same new year resolution. At this point I'm left with my cat and crafting.

[@juniperg2359]

YES, the world has a lot more to offer.

[@angelika87]

sounds good to me

[@angelika87]

sounds good to me

[@katiecat5500]

I had to do the same thing. Ended a fake friend relationship and I feel much better and at peace that they are out of my life. I don’t miss the fakeness at all. Thank you for this message. Its very validating.

[@elizabethash4720]

Very precious to hear something so sincere at a time when there is so much deception .

[@geneticallysuboptimalsurvi3931]

I am that fake friend. Years of bullying at school, invalidation of my feelings by key caregivers, and emotional absence of my father who died when I was a teen, have left me with intense hatred and envy of those who have it better than me, and little to no trust toward anyone. Because of these experiences I believe I deserve to be treated with far more special care and kindness than others, I destroyed some past friendships and quite a lot of opportunities to make new friends. And if I don't get the preferential treatment I so rightly deserve, I make sure to evoke anger, hatred, humiliation and pity from others around me. Although at the same time, fear of ending up the butt of derision leads to preventive measures by means of staying distant and avoiding closer connections with people at all costs.

[@LC-qi5ff]

We are similar. I hope we both heal and progress in life

[@Tenzin62]

Three days ago my ex friend a total narcissist actually knocked my door after I have gone three years no contact. Three full years. I watched her on the ring doorbell system standing there with a big smile on her face. My daughter told her to leave. Doesn’t your mom want to speak to me? She asked. No, said my daughter. She turned to walk away and I saw her smirk to herself. I used to see that smirk every day for decades. Her spiteful smirk. She really must have talked herself into trying to get me into her web. A dreadful human being.

[@kcsunnyone]

So true! I have over the last two years identified and severed all contact with a couple of people that I discovered were fake friends, and saying bad things about me to my colleagues, while pretending to be friends to my face. And one in particular accidentally said a snide comment to me which revealed the contents of her true opinion, and likely the source and nature of the malicious gossip that she would spread about me and I called her out on it and told her to lose my phone number. Don’t ever contact me again. And I’m glad that I did that. I have yet to find a new friends and replace them because we are still working remotely going into year three now. Can you do a video on creating new friendships that are healthy and how to begin that process?

[@chloeblack8572]

@@Chris-dw7gq Seems like thousands of decent people comment on channels such as this one. But out in the wide world--where are they?

[@ld9862]

While the topic is a great new years resolution I think being so specific was not necessary. We all know who you are talking about and it was obvious he was a fawning sycophant from the beginning. He was the first one I found and I stopped watching him ages ago. He did introduce you to me though so I am grateful.

[@Laety]

It's funny cause he stopped collaborating with another person he used to fawn for as well. Now the only ppl he hangs around are his brash, annoying pals from his hometown who also hold the same distorted views as him lol

[@niekelombard4434]

I think it is okay to name and shame sometimes - he does not once mention his name - I think he needed to do this for himself while still educating others

[@stardustsparkles22]

Prof,this is so timely. I have a fake friend,who shows dark triad characteristics. Yes,so timely. And yes they are envious.

[@anjumahannowar7459]

"Some high functioning patients compartmentalize their mental illness". Thank you Professor.

[@AlisongsLA]

Yes, I have had these fake friends in my life. When I was young, these girls would try to get me to do things I would never normally do like smoke, do drugs, drink, one even tricked me me into eating things that would cause me to put on weight because she wanted me to be overweight like her. I see them right away, now. I'm so sorry someone took advantage of you. But, you are not alone. If I hadn't had such low self-esteem as a child, I would have seen this deliberately trying to take me down as a compliment. I try to see it that way, now. I don't know why I am so threatening to some, but it must be that there is something they envy about me. They are giving me way too much power! :)

[@stardustsparkles22]

They probably admire your strength,courage and insight and so on.

[@AlisongsLA]

@@stardustsparkles22 Exactly. Thank you!

[@whotelakecity2001]

This is great material for a checklist. The more boxes ticked, the faster you should get rid of your friend.

[@Sophia-hj3ko]

Dear Professor, I am very grateful for this lecture! Listened, took notes. It's so powerful! Thank you! I wish I've heard that at the beggining of my life.

[@sakisextra740]

The right video in the right moment in my life.Recently i re-evaluated friendship and got rid one fake snake iny grass.I Feel overwhelmed but so relieved.Thanl you professor 👍

[@nf1619]

As always, thanks for sharing.

[@User2426-g5d]

I never felt comfortable with Richard. I only watched his videos with you, but rarely ever watched any of his content on his channel. Maybe one video or two at most. I am at a point in my life where I know everyone struggles with some sort of mental health issue so I have decided not to cut anyone off. I just know who I am dealing with, their capacity and use boundaries accordingly. I am not going to let anyone use or abuse me in anyway, but I dont want to give up on anyone. I also choose to face my friends if I am upset about anything they have done. I dont know if this is right, but I don’t ever want to purposely tell anyone you are not good enough.

[@valeriestorm1867]

This sounds like a healthy attitude 😌

[@paisleyjane14]

Sir. Wise words. Had a fake friend kind of fade away before Christmas and the relief I felt was my big indicator something was very wrong. She’s not reached out, neither have I. What was supposedly a best friend who loved me just stopped calling with no explanation. I think she knew I was seeing what she really was, had taken all she could get and moved onto new victims. Thank you Professor! 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@MICHAELSMITH-yd1it]

I'm sorry that you lost a close friendship. I know how hard they are hard to come by. Thank you for the video as it is very insightful and relatable, and much luck to you moving forward into 2023.

[@laurelmarshall6903]

My parents were my worst & first enablers. When I was a teenager, what the neighbor's thought (in my parents' projection) was much more important than my parents' actual caring about my wellbeing & about my safety. Iow, my safety took a back seat to how my parents projected it would look if they said "no

[@asyouwish6108]

I did the same thing on Dec 31st! I also feel so free!!!!

[@dilfuzakhaydarova2859]

Thank you So much Professor. Happy New year. I wish you feeling of happiness and peace.

[@laz7774]

Happy new year professor

[@Coopertronics]

By their fruits you will know them.

[@VisceralGravitas]

8:57 *the fakery of friendship shatters your trust, destroys your perception of the world as a just and Beautiful World, a fake friend regresses you, infantilizes you* Lots of gems in this video, this portion caught my attention. But there's lots more. Timestamp for my own reminder, might try to make a summary clip from this.

[@VisceralGravitas]

11:00 *weak people have no boundaries, weak people betray their loved ones and their friends* *they breach their own fragile and permeable boundaries time and again* *in order to fit in, be liked, be considered a savior, to buttress their own grandiose self-image as a good person, to counter loneliness and boredom,* *weak people people pleasers are NOT good people, they're bad people, they're evil people, they're fake* Wow... more gold.... we need more talk about how abusive and dangerous enabling can be!!

[@whotelakecity2001]

All of the above happened to me with a "friend".

[@annc6417]

Thank you Sam! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

[@fatimacharty8854]

You are officially my Dad.

[@janejana333]

A pretense is the worst of it all

[@nicolahodges7659]

Thank you Sam. I was going to ask you for videos about friendships and how the cluster B’s show up in the context.

[@realhet]

Here's the psychodynamic of one less "friend" of mine: My "friend" was a long time drinking buddy of me until 2021 when I stopped drinking completely. That meant my personality is no longer compatible with his, I also feel distrust because now I was able to see the 2 types of his personality clearly: the drinker and the hangover type. This inconsistency generates distrust in me, even I hated it in myself to the point I stopped alcohol. However alcohol was my self medication, activating my false self and let normal people outside the narcissistic family think that I am normal too. this was my opportunity for the escape. I practiced this unknowingly for like 30 years. Now that I'm free, no point to drink anymore. Recently this "friend" keeps giving me small gifts. I asked him not to do it because, it generates negative feelings in me, by forcing me to relive my childhood about gifts with hidden strings attached. First I said 'no' politely, and it was useless. Then I unknowingly turned on my false self and accepted the gift, telling that ok, but I will feel bad. 2 months ago I also used a different false self, I acted in a way, my father would be proud of: I turned assertive and mean. That was only enough for two months to put back the cycle right before the love-bombing phase. He now smelled of alcohol, the tool I also used to turn on my false self up until a year ago when I decided to stop drinking. Alcohol boosts narcissism in him as well. But he is NOT disgusted from it. He also coughed and joked, that he got all the 3 viruses they talking about in the news recently. (also a red flag). After I had enough of the negative feelings caused my betraying myself yet again (saying yes instead of no), I repaid it with negative actions (I have access only to those), I blocked his phone number and email. I understood that I did this to reassure my boundaries. Punishing him by making him more difficult to access me was only a collateral damage. I also finally learned that I am in control of my self trust and I am also in charge to decide that I trust in him or not. (The things you cannot learn from narcissistic parents.) When he restarts the cycle next time, he will automatically turn himself into the victim and devalue/minimize the importance of the phone contact in between us. It will also give me sadistic joy, but I like to feel it against them anyways (reliving the childhood powerlessness, but now having the power gives me the 'warmth', hahaha). And when it happens, I must not respond with negative actions to reset the cycle again, it is useless, I must do grey rocking properly. Thank You, Professor to let me have an understanding of this.

[@SayedSalimSadatmawdodi]

Thank you professor Sam! Tnx. What you are saying would make sense if one understands all needs to be understood

[@VK-tl5dp]

Thank you Prof Vaknin. Another perfect video. Always so grateful for your reality checks. ❤️

[@rivermagic9003]

Prof V, I can't help but giggle. It reminds me of the Trump diehards who insist on calling him President T in a googly eyed worship tone. Doesn't anyone remember that Sam doesn't even like people...?

[@TheRawKrystal]

@samvaknin This is infuriating, devastating, and beyond disappointing. Reading between the lines, I feel the heaviness of the situation. It is not the letting go of a fake friend that is the negative, but that they are a “snake in the grass” in the first place. I’ve said for years - decades! - that I’d prefer the belligerent asshole over the snake, just to find I had been married to a snake for the better part of a decade. I have finally gained the knowledge I needed in order to be able to slightly understand what I endured, and a large part of that was gained from your brilliant teachings. Even still, I find myself hesitant in applauding a narcissist, knowing I am feeding the supply… akin to the supply that I let suck me dry. I was that people pleaser, the perfectionist, the ever accommodating fool. But - as I’m listening to this video - I must add I am not evil. Nor am I fake. I was self unaware and unhealed, but truly gentle and loving. As I listen to you berate the weak people pleasers, while I write this, it only makes me sad - melancholy. As you’ve said about reframing our ideas about NPD or BPD being trauma victims, so are the people pleasers and caretakers. Not all are snakes, and not all are saints. I understand where that venom was coming from, given the recent bite of your own snake. I wish you healing and acceptance as you grieve this loss, and my hope is that you don’t allow the venom to spread any further. My hope is the same, for myself. 🌺

[@IHTPOD]

Richard Grannon?

[@sholomhoffman]

Wow great video Doc, powerful stuff. Always great advice and spot on analysis

[@Swansue]

Best we take responsibility for not seeing this upon our inviting these friends into our life.

[@Prlvrboi1]

Could not have said it better my self. Thank you professor. You have taught me so much.

[@fridgeanon]

all 'friends' out cause friendship is an illusion

[@runwiththewind3281]

Professor Vaknin, thank you.

[@nanettesimon9388]

This video my favorite Sam i drop the narc and my toxic family i feel great but like you said sometime sad it took me year's

[@nanettesimon9388]

Sam you got this smile

[@Awareness-critical-thinking]

Masking as empathetic saints, yes... The worst

[@jelkel25]

I've tried to let people choose their own level of involvement with me (they do if you truly listen to them) and I have no compunction in downgrading them if they are incapable of healthy interaction. This approach doesn't work, a sort of give people the benefit of the doubt until you don't approach, they feel entitled to your positive interactions no matter how much backstabbing and nonsense they do. It causes more difficulties than if you hadn't ever given them the benefit of the doubt. I think SV is correct, just get rid.

[@jordanferguson2254]

"they feel entitled to your positive interactions no matter how much backstabbing and nonsense they do." Good line there. It's just so strange and whiplash inducing. It makes me wonder whether they're crazy and truly ignorant, extremely evil or if I'm the crazy one. They create too much confusion and fog, all it does is waste your time and sanity in pondering and rumination.

[@jelkel25]

@@jordanferguson2254 From their perspective it's boundary testing, healthy in a child, in an adult no it isn't. If you're dealing with an adult with fluid boundaries where they want to "drink your milkshake" it's draining and once a boundary has been broken they expect it to stay like that. Doesn't mean they are Narcissists, just immature and grasping though the outcome for you isn't much better.

[@annao2888]

Thank you, Sam. I neded to hear this.

[@yellowlavenders]

I did this!! I won’t be seeing the narc (former friend) anymore unless we are both attending parties of a few mutual friends and even then I will be keeping my distance, politely and coolly. The tough part though is that my gf/narc’s ex flatmate (who used to be and still might be narc’s main supply) still defends the narc sometimes even when narc’s abusive behaviour happens right in front of our faces-cognitive dissonance?

[@severe5475]

The narcissist I knew seemed to love/respect the "fake friends" and look down on/abuse the good people.

[@maybe_change]

In this sense true love is conditional. And when we reject and leave behind fake friends we express to them true love. Whereas when these friends unconditionally accept us that is not love at all. So fascinating.

[@kynathomas4809]

I didn't have to wait until the New year to get rid of them. As soon as I see any sign of that I'm gone. No apologies are accepted either.

[@11Deigratia11]

Maaaan this was the video everyone needed for NYE.

[@RockyMtnBaby]

This is sadly true.

[@WawLamedMem]

11:41 - Moments like this are why I keep watching your videos; you don't just have decent taste in ideas to humor, you also express them with extemporaneous humor! Keep it up, Sam!

[@Angell_Lee]

Wow, thank you so much!

[@ewashortnotsofastandfuriou6947]

Thank you Dr 🙏 and Happy New Year! I'm looking forward to 2023 🙂

[@jennifertemple736]

Needed this! Thanks Sam

[@ArtbyIWL]

Thank you so much! Exactly so, a person abuse me with his behavior and refuse to leave!!😢

[@Myportion442]

Thank you for this video Sam !

[@whotelakecity2001]

I have no friends left to get rid of :)

[@Nooreazy]

I don't give fake freinds closure. Just not worth it.

[@kristie-leecorney7388]

Thank you

[@whotelakecity2001]

Same goes for family members.

[@mokks532]

A fake friend mocked me when i had a panic attack after narcissistic abuse. Deleted.

[@coletrain546]

I discarded two of my former fake friends, one was a textbook narcissist so obviously I ghosted him. And the other one pretty much blew me off and became incredibly flakey once he got "better" friends so I discarded him since he couldn't even respect me enough to cancel our plans beforehand.

[@coletrain546]

@trollikadevi6963 grandiose fantasies he would always share with me like becoming rich and powerful, being able to choose any woman he wanted, gathering info from me to use later, gaslighting, dead look behind his eyes, making fun of almost everything I did, making fun of how I looked, made fun of what I liked, made fun of where I am in life, said any gfs I had were ugly, was the most incredibly judgemental person I've ever met. Just so many things, despite all that he was a little useful to me as he helped me break out of my shell so I kept him at arms length for a few years after discovering what narcissism is, but he was still too much. I went NC about a month ago cus I couldn't handle it and realized I don't have to deal with this anymore.

[@sofisundar2201]

Thank You!

[@ahavashalom4093]

Enabling parents are not true parents.

[@tomaspilgrim4802]

lol did RG make an indecent proposal to your wife?

[@cjgeminitarot6836]

Seems to be strongly implied...

[@thawiseninja1559]

Already done was a long time friend

[@juniperg2359]

Same!!!

[@Berta-eu9mk]

Thank you for this.

[@lisabradley3987]

It’s irrelevant whether it’s Richard Grannon or Richard The Lionheart. Listen to the content and if necessary apply it to your own life.

[@NopeNotTodaySatan]

Im sorry this is long but I need help!!! I want to begin by saying that I’m no where near perfect, I’m far from it. I’m constantly trying to better myself, grow & evolve. If I hurt someone’s feelings I get so upset at myself. Due to my childhood & ex husband, I have complex PTSD with dissociation. I was single for 7 years before I got into this relationship, I wanted to be healthy for everyone involved). My current partner of 4 years was NOT abused & didn’t have a traumatic childhood. I’m also his first REAL relationship since he’s been an adult. He had a HS sweetheart who he spoke well about. He had flings in college but nothing like we’ve had. He’s also 11 years younger than I am. He’s 33 I’m 44 with two boys in their early twenties. His parents are really kind people & they treat me very well. I did have an abusive childhood but have had lots of therapy. He speaks highly of his Momma & Grandmother. He had a great relationship with his parents. Actually everyone in his family. He’s mentioned a long time ago that he may be on the autism spectrum but I don’t know?! He does kind things for others without wanting things in return, like I do. I’m ADHD, incredibly sensitive (he says he is as well but not as much as me) & can feel the emotions of others. To the point that is makes me a great energy healer. My mom asked if he was bc she said he looks like it. I don’t know what that means. My Mother is another story. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. The first 1.5 years we had a long distance relationship & learned so much about each other. March of 2020 I moved in with him… 6 months after moving in with him i noticed the jabs or mean spirited comments if I pissed him off. He does do really nice things for me as well and often. I’ve seen him cry countless times too. So he does have feelings. Even says really kind, loving, says uplifting things to me. He buys me nice things, pays for my things, massages my back if it hurts. Nice things like this. Wants to be with me all of the time. He hates cheaters (as do I). UNTIL--- I either say something he doesn’t like or we have a disagreement. OMG. It turns into WW3. Especially when he’s tired or stressed. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m hesitant on saying something bc I don’t know how he will respond. If I say something that he doesn’t agree with or I give MY opinion about something he automatically turns verbally aggressive. Raise his voice but not yell. Becomes condescending & antagonist. To the the point where he says --I don’t want peace, just war. I’m a f’ing bi*ch, manipulator, an abuser, a gaslighter, he can’t believe I’m treating him like this or that (all I did was bring something up!!). Brings up my past (I was married to a sociopath & he gave me CPTSD with dissociation). I regret teaching him about Narcissism as I was trying to explain to him how & what my ex husband did to me. My BF & my ex husband are very different. My ex was a serial cheater, gaslighting me to the point I had a nervous breakdown, covertly destroyed me. He did call me an idiot or scoff, laugh at me but didn’t say things to my FACE like my BF does. He Let others belittle me. Told others I was crazy & mentally unstable. My BF later admits later in that he’s reactive. He did go through something horrific in 2014 that changed the course of his life. He’s confided in me that he’s been angry bc of what it did to him & his life (it involved police brutality & caused him to go into cardiac arrest bc 2 cops attacked him) And that he shouldn’t have said those things. The things that are said to me are truly hurtful & heartbreaking. The conversation never gets resolved. Ever. If he asks me a question & I give him my honest answer he will ask the the SAME question AGAIN & tell me it’s okay, you can tell me the truth!!! Or he thinks his answer is correct (even if it’s my specialty, such as my degree) It infuriates me bc I AM telling him the damn truth!!!! I love him dearly but I’m beginning to not like him. I’m beginning to become resentful towards him for how he’s been treating me. He does have empathy (at least I think he does). I’m really confused!!! Has anyone else experienced this??? I don’t know what to do or think!! He’s amazing until he’s not. If that makes sense. He does try to patch things up afterwards. But I’m left depressed & heartbroken. I would never say the things he does to me. We’re from different generations & grew up differently. I don’t use cuss words to describe people, he does. He grew up with the internet, I didn’t. We have the same core values & morals but we have a lot of differences as well. I’ve had some relationships & I’m his first adult one. I’m so confused!!! Please, I need advice!!! Thank you! I don’t want to throw something away because I’m being triggered and thinking irrationally. But I also don’t want to waste another 10 years of my life if I’m making a mistake….. 🙏🤍

[@NopeNotTodaySatan]

@@watchpray5343 - Goodness gracious! I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. That’s almost identical to what I experienced with my ex husband who a sociopath. My ex was grandiose & this one is covert. SMH. I also had a nervous breakdown due to his serial cheating & gaslighting. My heart hurts to know that so many good people go through this. This man is different than my ex so it’s mind boggling to me. If that makes sense. Thank you for your advice & your kind words. I’ll be heading back home (another state) for 6 months to receive intensive trauma therapies. I know I’ll find myself again. I do hope you’re doing better now. Remember these demons choose good people. You didn’t deserve any of it. Forgive yourself for not seeing it the second time. I’ll forgive myself as well. I send you tons of prayers, positive energy, love, peace, & healing. Again, thank you for taking the time to respond to me. God bless you…🙏🤍

[@xclusyphicon]

My New Year's Resolution is to get rid of all fake friends and fake supporters in my life!!!!!!!!!!

[@abrahamhicks113]

The question is can someone with BPD ever become that “good” friend?

[@00Tamtam]

Well said

[@francooliver7546]

Would you mind doing a video about the narcissitic neighbor Professor please.

[@carolemiller4464]

Thank you💙🎖

[@Kimmy-nt7th]

Lest we forget the fool🎭🐕

[@LisaAlastuey]

Great video Sam

[@David-zu2bf]

Bravo

[@Ottar111]

So is better to stay alone in the world

[@chiliart8056]

O yes pretending to helping and puting poison in jokes .I have one after long time of closing myselfe I let one in and she said in mids of my crisis "you konw you are in real mess in life" ..like I don't know and if I say I need order she called me maniac I was shocked.And how on earth we finde descent soul to talk to who will not feed ego on my wounds.

[@elodiedupont9672]

So glad you've got rid of "Richie" Best decision ever Sam 😊I can't stress it enough Great video Sam . Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us . Happy New Year 🎉

[@elodiedupont9672]

@@insertmyidentityhere What a brilliant idea, thanks so much

[@rebeccalucas6063]

A fake friend will say to you when you bump into them "it's been ages, let's get together next Wednesday" Wednesday rolls around, they don't text back, won't answer their phone, they just ignore you. Fast forward 1 month, you bump into them again, they say "you're so hard to get in touch with" You ask oh, when did you call? I don't have any missed calls on my phone from your number, no unanswered texts from you either, yet, I have MANY missed calls to your phone, and unanswered texts sent to your phone. The Two previous weeks when they were supposed to meet up with you, you see a post on social media where they went with someone they work with to the nail salon to get nails done, they swear they don't remember making plans with you that Wednesday. It's all for looks, the narcissist friend has discarded you, and it's a matter of time they'll discard their coworker as well. Wait until they are sick, and call you at 2am when they're at the hospital emergency room, see if their new friend will get out of bed and go to the hospital to help you, I doubt it!

[@Marinaaa3]

Nobody is perfect?

[@sheilah3363]

Who is the narcissist?

[@SurrealisticSlumbers]

And if it's a guy he may try to push a sexual relationship

[@jf8468]

This sounds exactly like my older brother, the fuck.

[@CakeItBy]

As a self aware borderline, people pleasers who believe people pleasing is moral annoy the shit out of me. I've been saying there should be a martyr personality disorder in cluster b for all the people pleasers.

[@CakeItBy]

I also think that in the way Sam has discussed borderlines being secondary psychopaths, martyrs would be secondary narcissists. People pleasing makes someone who thinks they can't give enough to others think they can which is a defense mechanism, like how narcissists think they're bad so they overcompensate with a false self of pretending to only be good, then borderlines and psychopaths have similar overcompensatory defense mechanisms. Sam would you be interested in making a video about this?

[@joelpoppenk7645]

Joel Poppenk 0 seconds ago @Prof. Sam Vaknin What happened between you and Richard Grannon?

[@educocult]

I always referred to your discarded fake-friend as the "Tommy Robinson of Life-Coaching". If this person had anything to them they would publish *something*!

[@tomaspilgrim4802]

who is Tommy Robinson

[@educocult]

@@insertmyidentityhere "Grannon doesn’t claim to have all the answers, but his evidence-based methodology - spanning zen meditation, psychedelics, martial arts, and spirituality - is broad enough to apply to your own personal journey, even if it looks nothing like Grannon’s" Errrrrrr