Best of Mort Goldman

Here are some of the best and funniest moments from Mort Goldman which I believe broadly portray the type of comedy used by his character throughout the show. The video includes insulting and making jokes about popular topics and relatable real life situations and personifying them.
I do not own ANY of the property and rights, they are owned by Twentieth Century Fox. I am simply giving commentary on the some of which I believe to be some of the best and funniest moments. This is considered to be fair use.
Family Guy is an animated show created by Seth Macfarlane which is about the Griffin family consisting of Peter (Father), Lois (Mother), Chris (Son), Meg (Daughter), Stewie (Baby Son) and Brian (Talking Dog). Other popular characters include Joe Swanson, Cleveland Brown and Glen Quagmire (neighbours), Carter Pewterschmidt (Lois’s father), Mort Goldman (Pharmacist and family friend), Dr. Hartman, Mayor Adam West and Tom Tucker (News Anchor). The show is in a fictional city called Quahog in Rhode Island. The show is extremely famous for its cutaway scenes that often insult celebrities, politics, religion, stereotypes, cultures and other popular topics.
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[@spongeboymebob771]

I think my favorite Jew joke in the show so far is when Brian breaks Stewie's time machine and time starts going backwards, but Brian doesn't believe it until he sees a Jew walk backwards, take a coin out of his pocket and put it on the ground before walking away, and Brian goes "Oh ok now I get it"

[@genericalfishtycoon3853]

Hahaha I remember that one, absolute gold.

[@nuraby_9228]

My favorite's the Disney universe one.

[@NG-xm6vg]

​@@nuraby_9228same

[@vjvj4966]

Stewie: "He's been out to diner like 4 times". I died !!!!!

[@maddumass]

How is that possible? They find ways to not pay?

[@Sewblon]

+Frank Kepler He got his friends and relatives to pay.

[@laughingsnake1989]

VJ VJ he's a Jew cheapest people ever

[@bubbaXzone]

Frank Kepler as a jew u find ways lol. Get somone else to pay, try convince the person to do on the house by making lsugh or smile, or trying pity to get free...shame is a small price to pay for freeee

[@officialsibking8083]

U mean dinner

[@MyUknown123]

Lmao!! 😂 Joe: oh ooooh somebody take a picture

[@jordanaaronromo6422]

Looks like somebody play too much GMOD and Kung Fu Panda Showdown of Legendary Legends! LOL

[@daehkcidemos]

Jordan Aaron Romo your not funny

[@legoferdinand2183]

What? Have you play Kung Fu Panda Showdown oLe Legends? It’s basically a PlayStation game where you battle other players with Kung fu Panda movie characters

[@birbrkewl8556]

@@jordanaaronromo6422 WAT ARE U TRYING TO SAY

[@Babosito]

@@daehkcidemos true

[@reesedawg6990]

"Oh I better make sure my wallets ok" BOOM

[@WantBadtime]

1:49

[@user-hs4dm9xq5e]

Reeseman87 extremely funny when you are actually a jew

[@ganon01ryanoutsen92]

It’s also Mort! 😆

[@whitneytfankedjian]

fuck thats one of the best parts in the whole show

[@alsada307]

" get one free ! WoW ! What store you're talking about.." The only thing he understood 😂

[@davidnissim589]

"Oh bloody hell, how do you go two weeks without opening your wallet?!" "Yeah, he's been out to dinner like four times!" XD

[@C_Williams84_Vlogs]

We re clearly not gonna get him this way

[@EndOfSmallSanctuary97]

That “get one free” joke is one of the funniest things ever

[@NG-xm6vg]

Fr

[@LeiutenantJackalPaws]

Gotta swallow all my valuables! That's too priceless oml!

[@Beesechurgerr]

Snuggable Wolfinator literally

[@LeiutenantJackalPaws]

I was completely unaware that I made a pun with my statement...

[@hanobody6863]

Wasserzeichen Rudolph I like your profile pic

[@calypsoschrodinger2882]

Did you see the mob? "Did I see the mob?" Why else am I here?

[@EnZoDxGaming]

Compiling clips of any character makes you realize how jam packed every joke is in this show

[@eyezodiotic3197]

"Oh..OOHH...Somebody take a picture!" xDD

[@andkirby3919]

Joe is a fucking legend

[@XchampionXFTW]

+Benjamin Vazquez k then

[@DavidJimenez-tt5ok]

+XchampionXFTW what about the episode where government is no more and when they go to Disney universe

[@wilsontran6264]

Eye Zodiotic

[@Adambon13]

uh...Shalom

[@tdlover5164]

Muriel?!

[@nadavnaftali4405]

superadam bonanni שלום shalom

[@robinlaceishere]

*_M u_** R i **_E l_** ?*

[@thegigadykid1]

@@tdlover5164 lmfao

[@benayasdebela1164]

666 likes

[@sinbadk.7667]

I died when joe started feeding them pennies!

[@NG-xm6vg]

Same lol

[@joelraymond6799]

Me 2 lol 😂😅😅

[@xtremewrestlingorder5919]

Mort reminds me of Kyle's cousin Kyle from South Park

[@sirloin5951]

They're both meant to be the walking definition of stereotypical Jew, so that's why

[@pzb1017]

E Zay Kid Almnds

[@icequeen6756]

E Zay Kid yeah cuz he's a jew

[@A_annoying_rodent]

Snickerzz now you can beat him up.

[@kennydaboi22]

They sound the same

[@oldaccount3591]

“Is that like a Spanish word?” HAHAHA

[@_Kori]

Como habitante habla hispana puedo confirmar que esa palabra no está en español taco sombrero

[@feldy1717]

As a jew, knowing many jews, this is extremely accurate

[@sayakdas4159]

Although, I didn't get the 'ding' joke.

[@nightmareseer3755]

So you guys have jetpacks?

[@kinlegate9926]

Sayak Das the “ding” is every guard getting a boner from seeing the princesses rack, but since he’s a Jew, he was raised to not have that sort of feeling, so he says “ding!” to be like everyone else.

[@mysoncrumphaseveryinjury3853]

@@kinlegate9926 wasn't that supposed to be a joke about Mort simply being a wimp and having a small penis?

[@abrahamyehoshuafrias3390]

Where the hell you live to say that kind of bullshit

[@cristianarteaga1092]

Ding

[@mortgoldman8287]

Ding

[@miguelaxalan6051]

Mort Goldman JEEEEEWWWW

[@deezidzo4611]

What episode was the ding scene from? :D

[@petercoulam1101]

@Theoretical - I thought it was because there was no money

[@tlf361]

"Hey look, Joe's feeding them pennies." XD XD

[@darrentylor5473]

Priceless

[@accountaccount180]

The part with Mort and the pennies was hilarious

[@russellh.1497]

"Umm...Shaloom." "Muriel?!" 😂😂😂😂

[@JackDorsey1010]

🤣🤣

[@mistypaws6158]

My favorite part is when he says, “Oh, God, there’s blood in my mucus!!”

[@bloodbath129]

how was copper wire invented? 2 Jews fighting over a penny.

[@Burgerzaza]

Blood Bath then saw that it would make a wonderful product and patented it.

[@Jess-kb1hb]

Tug o' war?!

[@Eismann1]

I thought it were two Scotsmen.

[@communismwithgiggles2515]

First scene and I already laugh like hell. And pop a *ding*

[@ameykulkarni7491]

Can you please explain the joke?

[@Plymouth_Belvedere]

@@ameykulkarni7491 All of them got erections, except for mort, who fakes it so he fits in.

[@RandomPerson-ec4hb]

@@Plymouth_Belvedere or his stiffer is too short

[@percangle9891]

“Ailments”😂

[@RoWiGRaTH]

"Ailments." Best line from Mort ever.

[@ShowMeSkillz]

wat does it means?

[@NateRicher79]

@@ShowMeSkillz it's a minor illness

[@mortgoldman8287]

Now I do not agree with this video! Please take it down! Ooh a quarter.

[@osamabinsleepylately8795]

Someone dude, he turned His comment into a joke

[@gabrielcalix1549]

Hilarious

[@viedacia1310]

HEY WE GOT A SALE ON CAKE BUY ONE GET 2 FREE (limited time offer)

[@faiselelkatbani179]

Lool I was gonna say STFU but then I read ooh a quarter So you just earned a goose youngman

[@Someone-gy2rd]

Mort, if you want a safe full of 100 dollar bills, you have to take care of my pet mouse for 1 week.

[@lordberly]

Meet Madeleine... *TING* *TING* *TING* *TING* *TING* ...... ...... ...... Mort: *"Ding!!"*

[@grantedklass777]

Berly Tannyono Putra i 💀

[@silvershadow9967]

Berly Tannyono Putra It should hurt them if it hits the metal

[@AdaWongFanofc]

Maid Madeline*

[@NikoPorter]

Seth is such a legend

[@frostbitecryo]

"did you see the mob? did I see the mob why else am I here"

[@Mallowgrin]

FrostBite Cryo elmons

[@xrustynailsx]

2:41 Did you see the Mob? Did I see see the mob?! Why else am I here!

[@yukothekid3423]

that menorah is lit😂😭I need one asap

[@Roblafo]

Jewpack

[@michaelbradstreet3943]

Don't you mean 8 days lit?

[@davidnissim589]

Jetpack Jew-ride

[@roninneko8964]

I want a menorah jet pack!

[@neutralplayeroflol5722]

@Glinkling Smearnops Then someone gives you a Kirkland brand instead

[@TelikiMouse]

i got the first scene after I watched it twice XD

[@hansdampf7904]

Tejay Evans congrats

[@xanshen9011]

Tejay Evans Me too

[@ricknash6760]

Tejay Evans plz explain to me

[@TelikiMouse]

Richard Clarkson in the seen when she showed her breath all of them got boners from the ding sound then when it showed mort he just says it and doesn't have one

[@ricknash6760]

Tejay Evans oh lol

[@eemelijaaskelainen4437]

I think Mort deserves more credit

[@bosslovercamraunfraser9895]

Mort did not open his wallet for two weeks

[@matthewlinderman5042]

And he was out to dinner like 4 times

[@tntkff9901]

Longer than that, you assume he opened it before Stewie planted the trap.

[@davidnissim589]

“I know, he’s been out to dinner like 4 times!”

[@MARTINADBA1980]

I better make sure my wallet is ok.....BOOM! LOL

[@TreverHapless]

Mort is underrated

[@desmondasam]

Peter: buy one get one free Mort: huh? Lmao

[@dillonkinder9296]

I died when there Morts everywhere and Joe gives them pennies like he’s feeding the birds or squirrels.

[@mikehawk2026]

I love how his first instinct is to check his wallet after getting blown up

[@Silverod]

"Oh ooooh somebody take a picture." Hahaha

[@ste604]

"Joes feeding them pennies" #SaveTheMorts

[@jcplays5831]

I swear mort could’ve been apart of Peter’s group

[@rossdiamondthief6627]

Mort was such an underrated Family Guy character

[@tonifigueroa1798]

1:52 killer queen has already touched that wallet

[@joker-qw9hl]

He really went and said "ding" 😂😂😂

[@alecvenom4311]

2:08 somebody take a picture 😂

[@gopherb3985]

Joe feeding them pennies 😂🤣

[@girlgarde]

Mort's funny as hell and is indeed a stereotypical Jew. It's a wonder he's still among the living given how annoying he is! By the way, you forgot the scene where in the Disney universe, he gets the crap beaten out of him just for showing up, that was a good Mort scene.

[@amireinav1]

ryan macdonald I think that was a funny way of annoying disney

[@kanserthecrab899]

Nobody: Mort: *ding...*

[@oraclecloud5261]

Is this the same guy who voiced Sid from Ice Age

[@gabrielagustinhomas]

“‘Did I see the mob?’, why else am I here?” Lol.

[@idohackedz6756]

I remember being 9 and not understanding why there were dings in the Knight comstums and now I understand

[@thatfiremanguy3033]

🌚

[@dirtyblasion15]

Why tf did you watched this show at 9 yrs old?

[@TheGeckoNinja]

@@dirtyblasion15 same reason we watched the Simpsons and south park at 9 , shits funny

[@myles3856]

@@TheGeckoNinja yes

[@frankmiranda707]

Joe's feeding Mort's pennies Take a picture!

[@babygiraffe123]

Mort is my favorite FG character ever! What can I say??? 😂

[@__seeker__]

*”Ailments!”*

[@anthonyreyes1682]

That jetpack was pretty dope tho

[@maldekshadowkyss5740]

1:58 i want that for my notification!

[@hannahwellman9515]

"Ding" Quote of da Day

[@Dennis-nc3vw]

"Get one free!? Wow! What store are you talking about?!" XD

[@Wickedwiss]

I can’t believe the guy who plays mort is John Brennan from jerky boys this is too good

[@cman3264]

Mort the legend

[@PineappleKiller16]

Jerusalem is all Mort that's amazing

[@amireinav1]

As an Israeli who’s been to Jerusalem a few times, yes. No but actually it’s filled with ultra orthodox Jews

[@TheDukeOfZill]

Doesnt make sense, mort is Polish lol. It should be all Ratcliffs from Pocahontas xD

[@Oswadomob]

Nice video bro

[@_titan83]

Loool that feeding them pennies was hilarious

[@timrthoward7007]

jew

[@osamabinsleepylately8795]

Indeed

[@AJ-dx6bn]

Jew jitsu

[@angusneill2690]

TimRT Howard kill it

[@osamabinsleepylately8795]

Keon Edwards why are you replying to me

[@spike5476]

JUDEN!

[@stingloot9209]

Oh look, joes feeding them pennies

[@JaysonWongYuanShen]

Mort: Ding! 0:08

[@gooddoggo7179]

“Hello” “Uh shalom” “MURIEL”

[@laingdog7357]

DING best quote

[@deavenshank1376]

is that the voice of kyles cousin from south park? i forgot his name

[@michaelburke7978]

It's also Kyle lmao

[@deavenshank1376]

Michael Burke ohh i forgot it was kyle lol

[@gamacichi]

Deaven Shank mort isn't voiced by matt stone from South Park, he's voiced by Johnny Brennan

[@Jess-kb1hb]

Gamakichi, no, not that kyle

[@normavelez674]

Haha this is so god damn funny!

[@jayramos4069]

Smooth sailing is the best one 😂😂

[@oscarov8235]

OH GOD THERE IS BLOOD IN MY MUCOUS

[@ekii6484]

"oh look Joe's feeding them pennies*"

[@JohnnyRunyan]

0:01 lol

[@ZudinGodofWar]

XD

[@darkneon5637]

When I first watch this I never understand joke but today I completely understood the the ding 🤣

[@alecvenom4311]

2:06 oh ooooh somebody take a picture 😂

[@michaelfrancis0219]

First scene: Me trying to fit in with other straight guys

[@kare880]

when i first heard the "swolloe all of my valuables" i didn't understand, but as you get older you realise a lot of stuff you missed lol

[@Amanda-kx9st]

??

[@anonymousofficial437]

@@Amanda-kx9st ??

[@TheGeckoNinja]

lol the pennies part was hilarious.

[@foxtail9824]

Lol 2:23 That is a smart way to get your stuff and run from an angry mob

[@wolftooth281]

*SOMEBODY TAKE A PICTURE*

[@bowlingboi9633]

oh oh someone take my picture

[@JesusARamos-df5ec]

all of this is completely relevant 👌👌👌👌👌😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@cyberstreetwolf3213]

I died when mort flew away in a menorah jet pack. Lol.

[@pshh6271]

2:08 I'm so fucking done... 😂

[@osamabinsleepylately8795]

2:37 I want that Hanukkah jet pack.

[@BlueShotTM]

"ding" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@evangelos4346]

2:35 Oh my god that was epic.

[@lorde5878]

Meanwhile apu is getting heat

[@edienandy]

Lorde Apu got heat because he was like the only Indian in pop culture for quite a long time. Even now there aren’t very many. Mort is a cruel stereotype but there’s also tons of Jewish representation in pop culture.

[@TheDukeOfZill]

Apu is an Injun, Mort is Polish who practices Judaism. Jews are not a race. Hebrews might have been a different matter :p

[@jumpieva]

You know it's still funny to laugh at stereotypical things people do and not diminishing prior struggles. So yes I'm going to laugh at this, especially the menorah rocket

[@xxXthekevXxx]

2:03 “AILMENTS” 😂

[@crisn565]

the pennies though 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@jasonehawes]

Who goes. Two weeks without looking for your son

[@michaelkeha]

Anyone else want that jetpack

[@lisafresso334]

Brian and Stewie: 🎶Whenever...🎶 Mort: Dammit! Will you two just get in the f×cking time machine?!

[@KirisunaOnline]

0:26 Oh god there's blood in my mucus!!

[@yang139]

The first one really got me😂

[@wuzijuzi4947]

@ 0:43 😆😆😆 thats wrong

[@LSTORMTheMC]

Lmfaoooo damnnn left out the best one Mort: "And how may I help you 3 black gentleman."

[@nunyabusiness8538]

“ailments” lmao