Best of Rifftrax 'Martial Law'

[@typacsk]

6:47 Oh my gosh! Pai Mei finally taught him the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique!

[@shawnfields2369]

I LOVE the Kill Bill movies! David Carradine's finest films. And also, the last time Lucy Liu was in anything worth mentioning outside of the Charlie's Angel's movies...and I actually LIKED those movies too! Also, too bad Pai Mei and Bill both got killed in the 2nd one, but although they were his last movies, David Carradine did NOT disappoint. I just wish he were still alive though...because he was like Bruce Willis in the first 4 Die Hard movies(and the Fifth Element), those were some of Bruce Willis's best movies(at least, to me they are).

[@robertwalker-smith2739]

Part of me wants to believe that this would make more sense if I was watching the whole movie. The rest of me knows better.

[@patrickmccarron5059]

Part of me wants to believe they did not actually make a Part 2 to this movie, but they actually did.

[@shawnfields2369]

​@@patrickmccarron5059Now that, I REFUSE to believe.

[@gabrielboorom6196]

Hostage situation. Their demands: two pizzas.

[@edwardburek1717]

"Police Academy 14, coming soon on Pluto TV" Er.... heh heh... that's how I found RiffTrax... heh...

[@wileyschmitt]

Yeah Pluto TV is awesome because of those 2 channels alone :)

[@manicpixiefangirl4189]

I might be a lesser person for it, but Carradine shooting the annoying wannabe thug was cathartic.

[@cremetangerine82]

It’s fine, he deserved it.

[@gregjenkinson7512]

Don't feel bad. It's what we all wanted

[@captain_hat6247]

He was begging to be shot the whole movie. He was too stupid to know when he should walk away. Despite that he was only the second biggest loser in the movie right after the loser little brother Michael.

[@vikingpolo]

You should see how Jason Voorhees handled him

[@SpruceCampbell]

Maybe I'm alone on this one but I'd love to see Faster Brown in his own movie, just constantly mugging for 90 minutes

[@Anynom]

The way they actually give apologetic chuckles at every Carradine joke is the best part.

[@redheadboyyy123]

9:29 i love that the graffiti just says “GG ALLEN”

[@kanna-san.]

@@smetupp05 and shot themselves immediately after

[@warface4881]

It does, that's epic.

[@kellyweingart3692]

lol

[@junghunt8645]

All the better as they misspelled his name.

[@Every_Day_islike_Sunday]

@@junghunt8645 so they don't have to pay royalties to his estate I'm guessing .

[@nickdirienzo2849]

That's why you never stiff the pizza boy!

[@DavidLLambertmobile]

Stiff Pizza Boy was my 1st role! 🍕🍕🍕

[@douglasjohnson4382]

David Carradine actually gives the best performance in this movie.

[@zenpaganwarrior]

That's so sad.

[@ethzero]

Both statement are true :/

[@drdreddmanofmystery9482]

Or is everyone else so bad that they elevate Carradine's performance?

[@WorldWar2freak94]

Which isn’t saying much, as most of the others are either overacting or under acting.

[@geoffreysorkin5774]

Carradine also gave the best performance in Kill Bill Part 2, a great movie. Carradine was a very talented actor whose biggest limit to his performances was how much he cared (kind of like Bruce Willis in that regard).

[@macdeus2601]

Man, they were on fire with the Carradine jokes in this one.

[@jonilougy6608]

Just heard the news 😢 RIP Chad McQueen. 🙏🌹 "Thanks for the memories" Rifftrax member, Joni L

[@jasonedwards1823]

Cynthia Rothrock, Benny Urquidez, David Carradine, and somehow Dollar Store Jim Belushi is the star.

[@cigoLxeL]

I had to double-check when I saw it in the credits, but the main guy was played by Chad McQueen, otherwise known as "Dutch" from _The Karate Kid_ and as "Steve McQueen's Son" in real life.

[@JonSmith-cx7gr]

@@cigoLxeL Steve McQueens son? A true Chad.

[@kellyweingart3692]

lol

[@Tony_Cardoza]

​@@cigoLxeLWow he looks way different from when he was Dutch.

[@shawnfields2369]

​@@Tony_CardozaWait, you mean the older brother in the movie, not the younger brother, right? Because I couldn't tell which one of the 2 was Dutch from "The Karate Kid" either. And I loved the Karate Kid movies. It's not the dsp looking guy who winked at the camera at the beginning of the movie, was it?

[@scratchnoff7609]

YOU FORGOT THE CRAZY BREAD🤣🤣🤣

[@spaghettisultan5484]

'Is that the guy who picked you up?' 'Yeah, that's him' 'Fella named Large Marge'

[@guyvizard549]

Cynthia Rothrock should have been Sonya Blade, and I stand by that statement.

[@redheadboyyy123]

That’s who they based her off of

[@guyvizard549]

@@redheadboyyy123 Yep. I just meant in the '95 movie. In the same way that Rhona Mitra should have been Lara Croft in the first two Tomb Raider movies.

[@kellyweingart3692]

Rothrock sounds like a Flintstone character

[@A-small-amount-of-peas]

​@@guyvizard549you can't build a franchise around Rhona Mitra.😂 The rest of her career and the roles she got is a hint at the extent of her acting ability. No way in hell would a studio put that amount put that amount of money with Rhona Mitra as the star.

[@guyvizard549]

@@A-small-amount-of-peas You're absolutely right. It would have bombed. I just thought she'd be perfect... and yes, I like Doomsday, too.

[@joshuablack8221]

How the heck did a ninja star kill that dude?! 😂😂😂

[@BenVarkentine]

You should see the paper one that kills a guy in Death Promise.

[@joshuablack8221]

@@BenVarkentineoh, I have, Amigo; it’s one of my favorites 😂

[@somerandomguy6749]

I heard he walked a TIGHT ROPE between character and actor on set. It was SUFFOCATING to the rest of the crew feeling so STRANGLED all the time. He was always so HUNG UP on his character he made everyone feel like they were always TIDE UP with his antics.

[@percyperanamus7432]

Are you white

[@somerandomguy6749]

@@percyperanamus7432 yes. Why

[@Eazy-ERyder]

Hilarious

[@SpruceCampbell]

I heard his friend Ace, Fixated on watching too much Cable Noose. Got interTwined with some extremists that got him in a Bind. His Cord date is Coming up next month.

[@alexmuenster2102]

But at least it had a HAPPY ENDING!

[@laurabeane8862]

Ah. Jackie Chan gave us "Drunken Master" The USA has "Schlub Fu". Makes sense, sure...😝

[@stephensmith7327]

This implies there is a Schlub version of Beggar So.

[@Nickel_The_Wise]

Bill, he was delivering Domino's, they don't HAVE Crazy Bread, you freaked-out maniac! RIFF REVOKED!

[@ty_teynium]

KEEP ROLLING!

[@markjohnson4643]

19:58 "aah, me lih-ul guvnahs!" 😂😭😂

[@DKGifford19608]

"You're not part of the turbo team!"

[@patrickrobles1036]

I recall my 13 year old self regretting the $1.95 spent to rent this garbage.

[@kellyweingart3692]

“He looked right at the camera” “Keep rolling?” “Keep rolling!”

[@kellyweingart3692]

“The dark origin of Oscar the Grouch”

[@kellyweingart3692]

“Giving off drunk handsy uncle at the wedding energy, Carradine”

[@kellyweingart3692]

“Rope, necktie, extension cord, I’m not picky”

[@patrickrobles1036]

@@kellyweingart3692 I'd have loved it if it had the riffs.

[@nonprofitgirl]

Oh god, the reference to THE ROOM at about 10:15 made me laugh so hard!

[@Highland_Moo]

Jesus phuck……the rope, neck tie, extension cord had me burst out laughing!

[@DavidLLambertmobile]

DC uses the same stale 🥋 moves in the end fight that he uses in Lone Wolf McQuade 1983 🐺

[@Anynom]

"A loser son's loser brother, is that even legal?"

[@kellyweingart3692]

“And now it’s David’s loser brother...Chad Lee Roth”

[@kellyweingart3692]

“Cobra Kai for seniors” 😂

[@kellyweingart3692]

“Samurai Cop” “He’s late because he couldn’t find his wig”

[@kellyweingart3692]

“It’s too bad the TSA doesn’t allow airport karate fights anymore” 😂

[@kellyweingart3692]

“Now that’s the David Carradine I know”

[@SteelyBud]

RIP Chad McQueen.

[@rushifellpainting4631]

Carradine looks sober in this performance

[@GBart]

Acting!

[@MexicanAndaJew]

Ouch 😂

[@thomaspalazzolo5902]

Fighting Fact: The character King from King of Fighters was based off of Cynthia Rothrock as she appears in the Martial Law movies.

[@Propanesucka]

Fighting Addendum: That's awesome, but not 100% true. Interviews with King's creators have cited Grace Jones's role in A View to a Kill being the initial inspiration and Saskia Van Rijswijk's role in China White as the basis for her outfit and the shirt-rip finishing animation... never actually mentioning Rothrock. However, her original promotional art from AoF was blatantly traced from Rothrock as she appears in publicity shots from Martial Law, meaning her designers either forgot about that part in interviews or the promo artist was very, very lazy.

[@pdubascrub]

I confused Tekken and kof for a second and still found it believable

[@jonathanwashington6083]

Actually it's as she appeared in Martial Law 2

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

It was Sonya Blade.

[@shawnfields2369]

​@@pdubascrubYou could tell me that they based Armor King or his brother Armor King, from Tekken Tag Tournament 1 & 2, or King, from Tekken 2, Tekken 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, (and currently, 8), off of the blonde lady in these movies and I'd definitely believe you, because King and Armor King are 2 of my best characters from Tekken, along with Lars(the long lost son of Heihachi Mishima, and Kazuya Mishima's brother) Hwoarang, Law(either Marshall or Forrest, his son), and Jin Kazama, who'd been framed for the last 2 Tekken games, for starting a world war, so he could end the Mishima bloodline in Tekken 6.

[@youngmultiverser9311]

So did anyone click on the video because of the lady with the crazy eyes?

[@youngmultiverser9311]

Oh my bad that’s a dude

[@oneyedjohn]

@@youngmultiverser9311 It’s not your fault, the thing was barely human.

[@typacsk]

@@youngmultiverser9311 I also thought it was a lady.

[@racheledwards2352]

Wait, that was a lady!? Damn, I thought it was Urkel.

[@remyw.4959]

She seent it all

[@hk-1290]

To fight crime in this city you must have a mullet I guess.

[@laurallewien2165]

After all that she's ditching him for Santa...oh the humanity!

[@Tustin2121]

I wanna know how the hell Carrodine’s character gets away with all the murdering he does when it’s so utterly blatant like at the end there. Like, it’s an airport: it’s going to have security cameras, and at least some of those thugs had families who will be asking after them, so it’s not like it’s a “there’s no witnesses if I murder them all” is gonna help here...

[@Backinblackbunny009]

4yrs of tump and Jan 6th and you're still asking this?

[@karnerblue7658]

@Backinblack Bunny Seriously? Get over it or see a therapist, damn.

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

Because he was a “guv’na,” apparently?

[@Every_Day_islike_Sunday]

Five finger death punch strikes again.

[@flmbyz]

Was watching this JUST when I learned Chad McQueen passed away. 😞

[@shawnfields2369]

Aw man, that's sad to hear...well, we've got this riff and this video to remember the guy by.

[@A-small-amount-of-peas]

A guy who was in 3 bad movies with a famous dad. We hardly knew ye Chadwick 😢

[@binghamtonblows]

Gotta love the GG Allin graffiti in the background

[@soniabattrell2502]

9:46 I think that's either "Hope" or "Glory," from "Hope & Glory."

[@miguelmendoza095]

You're thinking of "Honor & Glory". Also, that's "Honor"

[@riceymartin2203]

Mother of the Crappy Movie

[@shawnfields2369]

​​@@riceymartin2203I'd rather watch "Honor & Glory" than this movie. At least the Eddie Murphy lookalike in that movie can ACTUALLY act pretty well, and is an actual stunt coordinator himself. Seriously, he's trained with Wesley Snipes on the set of the 1st Blade movie. Should've had somebody like that here...maybe then, this movie wouldn't have been as crappy looking, but I doubt it...

[@dennismason3740]

"...extension cord..." - so mean. "...Chad Lee Roth..." redeems you.

[@JamaicanCastle]

If he got it there in 30 minutes, and he doesn't get paid, Uncle Enzo's gonna have something to say about that.

[@nickdirienzo2849]

I like how all the graffiti is just different punk bands.

[@MaximumRD]

This had me with the thumbnail!

[@MadHatterQueen4Ever]

Way to go winning fantasy football this week Sean!

[@pong86r]

HOLD UP! IS that Steve McQueen's kid???

[@cremetangerine82]

Yep!

[@kellyweingart3692]

Dutch from Karate Kid

[@shawnfields2369]

​@@kellyweingart3692The older brother, who was with the blonde lady, or the younger brother?

[@tintomara6209]

I'm pretty sure the bald Asian villain was also in the Kung Fu tv series in various 'guest star' guises

[@dennismason3740]

I swear to Bond that one of the actors is Oddjob from Goldfinger.

[@vincenasseff5027]

Different ''Japanese'' wrestler. The heavy who gets killed by Carradine is Professor Toru Tanaka (who was actually born in Hawaii). Oddjob was played by Harold Sakata.

[@dennismason3740]

@@vincenasseff5027 - Thank you for the data.

[@cheddarssalad1230]

Carradine’s goon was Vincent Craig Dupree. He had a goofy death scene in a terrible Friday the 13th movie. He is not Miguel A Nunez Jr. who had a goofy death scene in a terrible Friday the 13th movie.

[@shawnfields2369]

You mean the annoying guy who looked like a lady? Or do you mean the Asian guy with the British accent that sounds fake, but I think that dude's British accent isn't faked. I think that's his ACTUAL accent, no lie.

[@SpruceCampbell]

Next job interview I go to: Q: So tell us about your previous job A: You want references? I got references [kung fu fight]

[@YellowJeep]

"You have the right to resemble Asahi Guy."

[@guyvizard549]

Ezekiel Williams, better known as Zeke Bills.

[@capitalistdeathculteffects]

"G.G. ALLEN" spray painted on the wall behind the chain link fence at 10:15🤦

[@JosephLewisSzaboIII]

3:02 “Yeah, my mom is Ed Asner in a wig, yeah.”

[@Every_Day_islike_Sunday]

This thumbnail had me clicking so damn fast....!

[@rogercormier5610]

“WHERES * KICK* *MY* *KiCK* TIP?!

[@glennwelsh9784]

It's good to see Julius got his head back.

[@leenoah1]

I got that reference.

[@kellyweingart3692]

lol

[@burtknighten1873]

This script HAS to have an Asian with a British accent.

[@shawnfields2369]

'Know what I mean, governor?

[@thelastroseofsummer2817]

Damn. Asian henchman guy has a hot body

[@gregjenkinson7512]

would have been a realllll short movie if that guys gun hadn't jammed at 1:30. Even funnier when you realize that it was pure dumb luck that his gun jammed

[@waterking74]

Does anyone notice how creepy the thumbnail is? 😰

[@davincent98]

It's the eyes

[@waterking74]

@@davincent98yup 😖

[@crazyfvck]

@Nowhere Man He reminds me of Steve from Samurai Cop :D

[@shawnfields2369]

​@@crazyfvck He may as well be a Joker in training, with eyes like those...

[@GBart]

Man I can't imagine David Carradine being associated with anything more embarrassing than this movie

[@deanfiora4227]

I'm guessing you don't know he died.

[@GBart]

@@deanfiora4227 he's not still hanging around?

[@deanfiora4227]

@@GBart 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MexicanAndaJew]

Have you seen future zone? Or future force? I promise, you'll see the bottom drop 😂

[@monkeyslovewand]

​@@deanfiora4227I laughed to myself when I read the actual comment about this being David's most embarrassing moment and before I even clicked "replies" I thought "please don't let it be me that has to explain to this poor innocent commenter about strangle wanks"... but I think your reply did just enough, phew!

[@LordmonkeyTRM]

12:33 Atari ST steals the scene

[@Palmieres]

5:06 Why doesn't David Carradine like Josephine Baker? Do I need to watch the whole movie to know? Because I don't want to. Edit - wait, Cynthia Rothrock is in this movie? Someone who actually knows martial arts?

[@wileyschmitt]

Yeah there's no apparent reason for it, just Carradine being a jerk.

[@jonathanwashington6083]

Hahahaha "Josephine Baker." 😅

[@SteelyBud]

Wow, lead good guy Chad McQueen is the son of Steve McQueen, Oscar-winning director of "12 Years a Slave."

[@cremetangerine82]

Wrong Steve McQueen, he is the only son of the white Steve McQueen of “Bullit” fame.

[@kellyweingart3692]

played Dutch in the Karate Kid

[@SteelyBud]

@@cremetangerine82 OHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! :O :O :O

[@patrickmccarron5059]

Is that Dutch from Karate Kid?

[@cremetangerine82]

Yes!

[@shawnfields2369]

​@@cremetangerine82Which one? The pizza boy from the beginning who kicked the guy through the glass window, or the younger brother who's DEFINITELY still alive?

[@rolandomartinez9076]

What no tip?

[@dennismason3740]

Cynthia Rothrock? I'm in heaven.

[@kellyweingart3692]

“Is it fingernail based?”

[@Every_Day_islike_Sunday]

Cardigan Geraldo! Hahahaha!

[@romimirza825]

Not even close to 911 turbo it’s a 911 Carrera cabriolet come on😂😂😂😂

[@user-lb9xw4xf2q]

That discount Chris Tucker is one of the most annoying and dumbest characters Rifftrax have ever covered, which is saying something!

[@markjohnson4643]

I hate him and the fake british accent guy with my entire being...

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

The character didn’t even make sense. Why was he so obsessed? 😄

[@1sttobylopez]

Why is silent bob talking?

[@shawnfields2369]

Wait, that wasn't dsp?

[@littleteethkeith]

That blonde chick looks like Joe Walsh.

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

Why was the one guy so obsessed with joining that one gang? He seemed mentally unstable, though I don’t think the script intended it that way. 😅

[@MadHatterQueen4Ever]

Now that's the David Carradine i know

[@lnfreeman]

Is this ripped from twitch?

[@peterbrown6224]

Any other Australians out there? 18:26 - Dipper makes an appearance.

[@UnclePhil2k]

"I DEMAND DAY-CORUM!!!"

[@markbarrera6807]

occupado LOL

[@BryanMorton]

When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to leave.

[@asareubenwallace4032]

Lady the gun

[@Mumblix]

I thought the karate chick was the girl from the Take On Me video.

[@shawnfields2369]

You mean, she's not the girl from "Take On Me", by A-Ha?

[@adrianlee3497]

That black dude...

[@moebetta4224]

The first time a film is too bad to lampoon.

[@joshuablack8221]

Where’d they find this weird, clay-faced looking Black kid? 😂😂😂

[@karnerblue7658]

😆

[@taags]

So thats a black guy in the thumbnail, thought it was a woman.

[@danielhill3100]

My wife bought birth control pills. I had a vasectomy 12 years ago. Somebody que The Price is Right losing horn.

[@l.a.gothro3999]

Wait...this isn't the TV series with Sammo Hung? What a rip-off!

[@FIFFAN18]

The ‘English’ accent is really, reaaaaaally not good.

[@shawnfields2369]

How do we know it's NOT his real accent...yeah, it's more than likely just REALLY hilariously bad... "Know what I mean, gov'na?"

[@speedyblackston1647]

Buck Norris

[@rolandomartinez9076]

That's a dude!

[@johcooper2266]

Karate, Kung Fu, eh... Same thing.

[@kidkong637]

Dog Day Afternoon rip off?

[@TheXabl0]

Lmao

[@turdferguson7105]

I heard your making a crappy movie.

[@cubey]

Too god damn many intrusive ads.