Unintentional ASMR 🏓 Very Thorough Table Tennis Racket Tester

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Souce: testingaccount2011
• ITTF Racket Control
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(I significantly edited/enhanced the audio & video for better ASMR effect).

[@alexmaclean1]

This guy lost a drunken game of table tennis in college 20 years ago to a guy with a very glossy and slightly concave racket and has now made it his life's mission to clean up the sport.

[@triton8583]

The only recourse for a well adjusted human adult

[@dylanbksp]

seems like he's doing well

[@fromzero2hero-armwrestling359]

dont forget about the gas that was coming off the rubber 😂

[@jeffkeith637]

@@fromzero2hero-armwrestling359 screwed up his sense of balance, knocked him out cold, gave him a headache.

[@Celticshade]

A truly noble goal. What a legend.

[@Matt-qx3ne]

"You were the best damn racket inspector in the league. We need you now more than ever." "I told you I'm retired."

[@nevadamareno3713]

I genuinely lol’d at this 😂😂😂

[@70h4nn35]

When he arrives in last minute “You think I’d miss this party?” “I never doubted you inspector. Give em hell”

[@guyharris7215]

Man this made me laugh. Cheers.

[@-mute-6398]

That would be an amazing anime

[@christiaaanC7]

Lol!

[@johnnymccraze]

The fact that this feels like it’s from a mockumentary but is actually real life brings me such joy.

[@netherworlde]

I know, I was waiting for something bizarre to happen a la The Office.

[@mothmanafterdark5924]

I mean perfecting table tennis rackets is a bit silly of a job to have

[@cosmosDiv]

how are mockumentaries not real life, lmao i get what you mean tho.

[@Beau74]

@@mothmanafterdark5924 You could say... that this job is a complete racket

[@oscarredfearn3492]

@@cosmosDiv mockumentaries aren’t real life, that’s the whole point. Did you mix them up with documentaries?

[@SHPjealousy]

as a german i can confirm that this dude is 110% german. the accent, the dedication, the overcomplicated process of a simple thing. is this racket legit or not? it is. it is because: this video :D

[@tomgragor1130]

Haha warum hört sich jeder deutsche bei englisch so gleich an?

[@kentuky1233]

I knew it by the way he keeps talking about measuring and releasing gas in a room. Yes, that's what we all still think about when Germany joins the chat.

[@TRAVFLIX]

But he's Dutch

[@SHPjealousy]

@@TRAVFLIX well then i'm gonna be dutch as well :D

[@allybally0021]

@@TRAVFLIX Is that legal?

[@Beerzini3886]

Back in the day I have won many tournaments using rackets with volatile gas rates of well over 6. Many opposing players have been blinded (or "unsighted", as we called it in the trade), and I have pulled INSANE spin effects using slight convex rackets. All of the winnings gave me the luxury life style equaled only by drug barons and porn stars. Those were the wild days, the real wild west. I was even using rubber suppliers that are not on the LARC. And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for this damn regulator. He was there when they arrested me. "Why?", I asked. "It needed to be done", he said.

[@SHANELMUSIC]

🤣

[@rossmcphillips5488]

Chief come on, like you were ever going to get it passed the Ping Pong Police. 🤔

[@beaub152]

I love this comment

[@corvoattano9303]

Absolutely Beautiful! *Chef's kiss!*

[@dune22]

People like you are why I still enjoy the internet :))

[@andromedaturnbull3512]

Bio: In case anyone is curious, the star of this video is Dr. Torsten Küneth of the Equipment Committee of the International Table Tennis Federation (ITTF). He was, amongst various things, pivotal in authoring the specifications and test procedures for non-celluloid table tennis balls and coordinating the ITTF approval process for them. He is a mathematician by academic background and writes crime fiction in his spare time. True story.

[@marianhreads]

This comment should be pinned! Also...why does the math and crime fiction not surprise me...

[@fishticon8587]

Where can I read his crime fiction stories?

[@andromedaturnbull3512]

@@fishticon8587 He writes under the pen name "Torsten von Wurlitz".

[@afridgetoofar1818]

How can his stories be true stories if he’s writing fiction?

[@fishticon8587]

@@andromedaturnbull3512 Thanks. Unfortunately I can't read German, but it's kool to see him outside the ping pong room. I wonder if one of the stories is about a murder committed with a table tennis racket.

[@ScatterPlatter]

He narrates this whole process every time, whether or not anyone is there to hear it

[@marshmelows]

lmaoo

[@andrewmaderer1989]

Me too bitch

[@bowlman_]

I think its for a certification test or something. He's probably in training

[@NiceTryLaoChe]

@@bowlman_ Correction: he's the TRAINER. And very probably one of the world's leading experts in, uh, paddle validation.

[@bowlman_]

@@NiceTryLaoChe that makes a lot more sense. I thought it was weird that someone would seem so calm during a test that probably determines their career

[@mikehagge3904]

Who ever decided to film this deserves an academy award

[@leo-dv7uh]

this is from some kind of explanatory video they produced, its supposed to be filmed :D this is not a real situation bro

[@mikehagge3904]

@@leo-dv7uh oh lord

[@LMW87MMA]

Tournament prize pool: $1,000 Tournament racket inspection technology budget: $250,000

[@mdsupreme1776]

5:30 seriously what in the hell

[@abcdefg1343]

@@mdsupreme1776 fr dude seems like something you’d take to chernobyl

[@mas502arc]

Your comment had me crying of laughter. Thank you, good sir.

[@Jiff321]

Maintaining integrity of the game as no price

[@sleep_sounds]

A one point he refers to “the boys in the lab” like theres some underground james bond mi6 lab working on table tennis tech

[@marcryptic]

He's actually insane and making it up as he goes along.

[@sixtoessancho6577]

Bro...thanks for making me laugh lol

[@malaspalace]

This made me lol

[@Hyndergogen9]

This makes me want me to set up a table outside a Table Tennis championship and just randomly do this, but totally make it up. "Now I must measure the taste of the paddle. Hmmm, very good, it is of a legal taste. The paddle must remain below the taste limit of "Delicious", anything "delicious" or higher is illegal, but you're paddle is only tasty, so it is legal. Now I must test how well it works as a spanking device, please bend over your chair for me"

[@Stan_sprinkle]

LOL... like a way less cool Frank Abagnale, Jr.

[@TheAcenightcreeper]

I like to imagine this scenario is 100% true and he is being recorded in an asylum, the lady who brings in the racket is his doctor. There are three other doctors behind a two way mirror taking meticulous notes....

[@clanmembers5743]

It seems like he himself invented this testing process and is the only person in the world doing it.

[@micheledreams4771]

He most likely is the only person doing this

[@Anonymous-sw5jx]

Yeah wtf.. testing if the racquet releases gas?? Huh? 🤔🤔

[@ZedXIII]

@@Anonymous-sw5jx Making sure it doesnt have a nitrous tank

[@jrod8618]

@@ZedXIII Genuinelyy lmao

[@IRLTheGreatZarquon]

This legitimately looks like a Monty Python sketch, almost as if the humour is so dry that a firehose couldn't quench it.

[@izo_kei]

As a frenchman I am proud that France has clean and legal table tennis rackets

[@allybally0021]

For now......

[@banddiego6530]

What a proper country

[@duckfacemcgee3271]

still not an excuse to be french...

[@michalsvihla1403]

The player is french, but by the name of the rubber manufacturer Yasaka, I'm guessing the whole racket is made in Japan.

[@hutson797]

Lol. The American version....gonna be hilarious

[@Fallingleaf87]

She endured this well and left relieved. What she shall never know, is that many rackets have failed this test and their owners were never seen again.

[@phantom_mist1726]

@Schlock Meister "together we can stop this!"

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

"YOU TIRESOME BUFFOON. WE HAVEN'T THE TIME FOR PLAYERS TRYING TO SUBMIT ILLEGAL RACKETS." **Casts the player into the Shadow Realm**

[@bunberrier]

A door opens under the chair. The fire purifies those who require redemption. We dont get to hear his immolation narration here because it passed.

[@JakeMcaulay]

I wanna see him test a illegal paddle. He'll probably arrest them personally on the spot.

[@Sumd3vil]

Straight to jail.

[@noecarrier5035]

He has to summon the handcuff inspector to make sure his set is match-legal though, before he arrests the offender.

[@dekudude8888]

He presses a button and little drones with guns shoot the offender and fly off to track down any associates

[@dauntae24]

He uses the paddle on the rear end of the offender.

[@jaclynsmith4323]

This comment section 😆

[@ayj1085]

The fact that because the limit of the difference in rubber thickness is 4.0, but the measuring device measures two digits, meaning that 4.04 is rounded down and legal but 4.05 is illegal is SUCH a specific fact that I’m really amazed at the complexity of this hidden world

[@simpaticode]

That is the standard in precise measurement used in engineering and science, and is not specific to table tennis.

[@ayj1085]

@@simpaticode Oh for sure, significant figures are important and consistent, I just think that the fact that they uphold a 4.04 thickness instead of a 4.00 one hilarious

[@zera2314]

Well if that shocks you, you must not have been around for The Turn of the Millennium Table Tennis Tournament in England, 1999, when Rodgar Oblevinsky used an illegal racket with a thickness of 4.06 to increase the power and distance of his shots ten fold. His accuracy and strength were unmatched, and his advantage caused him to burn holes in the tiny net in the middle of the table. Henceforth, racket thickness and net material are standardized. Nets are also commonly lubed up with Vaseline now before matches begin in order to avoid inflammatory friction. Table tennis might seem like a joke to some people, but I've seen spectators spontaneously combust during matches. Stay safe out there, friends.

[@flask223]

What about 4.0499999999

[@lallig8860]

@@zera2314 yeah!!! lube those nets you sick freak

[@controversialist01]

When you dropped out of NASA to become a racket scientist.

[@erickf.delgado7571]

😂

[@baconbliss4796]

or you applied for the wrong degree you meant to write rocket but they read it as racket instead

[@saratschanz9570]

He's actually a mathematician working for an insurance company... or used to, dunno.

[@sirsnooozealot]

this is an amazing joke

[@TheFirefishe]

This Pun Was Intended!

[@G-Fi-High]

Ok miss, congratulations your racquet is approved. But, unfortunately the tournament ended an hour ago.

[@edrzl]

NEXT!

[@sirsir6478]

LMAO!!!

[@G-Fi-High]

@@edrzl 😂

[@AlphaMachina]

LOL

[@AlphaMachina]

@@edrzl looool

[@lettersfromtheleft]

I love listening to two non-English native speakers discuss an oddly specific set of statistics and processes and all the odd syntax and sort of off kilter grammar used to politely explain everything so everyone can follow along. It’s such a niche genre of content but it ALWAYS delivers.

[@dylanbksp]

do you have any examples of the content

[@aberg12012]

The funny thing here is they probably would think we are also ESL if they hear our very midwest accents... ;)

[@nicelight3475]

Excellent description

[@thegoodgeneral]

It’s not ASMR but it’s definitely a thing for me anyway. Really cool to see someone describe it exactly.

[@izyadamson2815]

@pana riello That's true. There are more German descendents in the Midwest than in any other US region. Here is a whole page regarding the history of German immigration in the US in case you're interested: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_Americans

[@youngThrashbarg]

"Honey, do you have rubbers? -Yes, and they are absolutely legal."

[@steste777]

At Less that 4 mm

[@Peter-qj7yn]

well done

[@delicioussidefx]

1mm concave

[@existentialdread8459]

They are very glossy, could blind you

[@jondonnelly3]

but, the children aren't cause they ain't mine.

[@bfrazer8696]

I come back to this video every so often because these are, by a mile, the funniest unintentional ASMR comments I have ever read, I constantly lose it reading them

[@annadrift4]

I leave a new comment every time too. 😂

[@chunkslothsloth9501]

I can tell you haven't yet discovered the insane, potentially secually harrassing street healer known as Luo Dong and his fans.

[@c5mjohn]

No matter how many times I watch this, I always get nervous that he'll find something disqualifying.

[@sandwichbreath0]

🤣😂😆

[@oglemonlarry6825]

Bro this comment out of all got me dying 😂😂😂

[@seretith3513]

This probably is the cause of the ASMR Aspect. On one Hand you root for the Bat, on the other you just love the Guy do his Job.

[@gammaraysummerhead]

@@oglemonlarry6825 omg same! I bursted out laughing

[@antneuendorff]

i love that you’ve watched this many times

[@Aa1aaaaaaaaaa]

He seems like he’s got an intense life story, full of action and romance and betrayal, and now he’s settling into his passion.

[@franks7810]

🤣🤣🤣

[@LDnP_]

Always wondered what happened to John Wick after JW3

[@tbddude]

@@LDnP_ can’t wait for the 4th movie 🍿

[@jaybartgis5148]

He's like Adam Sandler from Don't Mess With the Zohan. Except cutting hair it's ping pong rackets

[@MichaelB2L]

He’s found his zen.

[@aether1370]

I love the fact he's just "the rubber is a good thickness, the wood is legal, here is our military grade photoionization fume detector"

[@starloadingstar6770]

😂😂

[@genebromberg5292]

“…List of Rubbers.”…hmm?

[@SupWhazuup]

I always have a hard time finding legal rubber for my thick wood. I don't play tabletennis...

[@thelearicist]

Seriously! I’ve tried to describe this video to people and when I get to that part I just don’t even know what to say lol

[@pedrobarbosa1304]

daily reminder that "military grade" means "as cheap as possible without exploding in your hands"

[@revanisalive]

i like to think there's a version of this guy out there for every topic

[@GriffinJbob-ze3nj]

Same

[@jackmiddleton2080]

This is the world of Warcraft warrior class instructor version. www.youtube.com/@konter4323/videos

[@ninetiesguy2322]

You know it

[@khalidalamri.]

Honestly, the world would be a better place.

[@hayden5880]

@@khalidalamri.The world is a better place, it's what you make it.

[@trocycling1204]

It's nice to see them finally cleaning things up in table tennis. Players have been getting away with glossy and gassy rackets for way too long.

[@K33176]

I spit out my volatile organic compounds reading this. Don’t worry. It was almost nothing

[@idkjustchangingmyname7343]

Finally the LARC is steeping up and enforcing proper rubber usage as well. Truly the crooks of table tennis must be quaking in their boots.

[@phantom_mist1726]

@@idkjustchangingmyname7343 I can't stop laughing 😄😄😄

[@c_n_b]

Quite the racket they were running

[@Roykiboyki]

It's like doping but for rackets

[@mikeboon6160]

He lost a ping pong tournament once because he was temporarily blinded by the reflective glare of his opponents paddle.

[@checkmate885]

Temporarily Unsighted

[@turtlesallthewaydown8831]

I can never let this happen to another person as long as I draw breath

[@dragonl0l]

Nah he kept looking at the 0,1 millimeter too low rubbersize of the ping pong paddle and his brain almost had a stroke so he had to stop playing

[@9709Nick]

This is actually possible, iny team at the University a partner lost a game because the opponent used the light of the reflector on my friend's eye while serving, he didn't see where the white ball was going and lost the point.

[@peterp-a-n4743]

"Unacceptable! No more! I will personally make sure."

[@086Laura]

3 minutes in and her expression is killing me, she looks like she’s contemplating what life choices led her here.

[@ricardoc.5508]

😂😂😂

[@imonlysleeping4491]

She made the right ones

[@drinkwater319]

She’s got the ASMR glazed look

[@Michael-qb6qe]

Stop your killing me hahahahaha

[@Kate28889]

To be fair she was probably on her way home from work and they asked her to just go and see the man to get the 'racket checked' and it would only take a couple of minutes.... 😉

[@hitchjack]

1:30 he knows full well that rubber is legal, I bet he knows that entire book of codes off by heart.

[@Kalleosini]

it's his job, he has probably seen all those codes thousands of times each. he better know the codes by heart

[@georges117]

He probably wrote it himself

[@seeharvester]

"Because I do it everyday, so I think so."

[@Tommy1977777]

Know it? He has FORGOTTEN more about Paddle Regulations than anyone will ever be able to know.

[@jjdoubleu6034]

Yeah he actually kind of made the rule book some comment said

[@moonflower5553]

"if i have calculated that correctly in my head, but i do it everyday so i think so" The arrogance. The smugness. The absolute confidence in this man.

[@elishh8173]

I think he seems like a nice man. Polite. I could listen to him for hours. Have a good life ro everyone who reads this

[@allybally0021]

I also hate bastards that have the arrogance to do simple calculations without assistance.

[@thejaypee]

If I calculated that correctly in my head, both the racket and inspector would have gone red in the face but I suspect that it was just the racket, that time.

[@orvol]

He's wrong tho, the average was 68

[@driesreyners1970]

@@orvol It is 3.66 I think.

[@lilcreepy4257]

My mans really passionate and good at this and people makin fun of him this mans tryna make sure table tennis is fair I respect it

[@jujulachlan11]

same here

[@Dillpickle1997]

Facts

[@redlight8752]

👏🏻

[@AlgorithmMockery]

I’m in awe at how meticulous this is. I’d have never imagined table tennis so intense with regulations.

[@Ghostbuster5309-i4e]

Do u see anyone makin fun of him 🤨

[@MrHidePatten]

I wish somebody cared about me as much as this man cares about the standards of table tennis...

[@rollinlikebuer9059]

I can measure you to a tenth of a millimetre and reject you if you are out of range for several exacting specifications. ...and God help you if you're too shiny.

[@Bubbles99718]

Carefull what you wish for. They're called stalkers

[@GreenTeaViewer]

I bet this man is thoroughly happy with his life and never questions his path

[@millanferende6723]

I can promise you this is not the ONLY thing he does all day. 🤣 (Although in all fairness, I do not have any idea else he do.)

[@Beau74]

"And the next step?" "The next step is don't fucking interrupt me when I'm talking."

[@cooperlopez767]

I read this right when they were at that part of the video on lost it hahaha

[@Beau74]

@@cooperlopez767 Glad to be of service haha

[@deathmetalpotato]

@@Beau74replying to a year old comment, nice 😎

[@deathmetalpotato]

@@Beau74assuming only americans use youtube because you have an uneducated egocentric world view, nice 😎

[@seeharvester]

She should have jumped him when he gave her those bogus "averages" of the rubber thickness. "Do it in your head everyday, huh?! It's 3.785, not 3.80, and 3.66, not 3.65." "I'm reporting you Sir for table tennis racket testing fraud!"

[@daaave2142]

id like to imagine that when he tests a racket and finds it being illegal in any way, he simply leaps at another person without second thought and detains them with handy handcuffs screaming in blind rage. True passion for the craft

[@kelvinmck2001]

Passion of the Paddle

[@diegoborges1348]

Maybe he carries a gun and just straight up executes people who bring illegal paddles on the spot. With this man's precision, a headshot would be a cakewalk.

[@CromulentComputer]

How very Hans Landa

[@mando18]

Why do I see him screaming in German.

[@someonegetsteve]

I love how he adjusts his pen if it rolls away at a certain (I assume, illegal) angle and length from the edge of his paper.

[@sustomusickillsyoutube]

Thank you for this extremely specific gem of information

[@daphne4983]

😂😂😂

[@zera2314]

LOL

[@elishh8173]

"Illegal angle" you got me laughing out loud HAHAHA Have a great day Greetings from sweden 💖

[@MysticMellow]

I'd also safely assume it would be illegal at that distance from its original position.

[@ZValenT]

The camerawork makes it feel like a sitcom or mockumentary

[@Abishai919]

This man seems intelligent enough to cure cancer, but instead he’s measuring all the parameters of a ping pong racket.

[@notshared4072]

Some people can't see the forest because the trees are in the way.

[@noahraab2429]

@@notshared4072 Some people don't care about cancer. It is what it is. At least he found something he likes.

[@RealRotkohl]

Cancer is extremely complex. High intelligence isn't enough to create a cure.

[@noahraab2429]

@@RealRotkohl Well yeah. If it was that easy for genuises, we would have a cure by now.

[@eduardoanonimo3031]

@@noahraab2429 maybe the geniuses dont want to work for people like you to save their lives... how much do you worth for a genius?

[@BestUnintentionalASMR]

I love seeing people who take their job seriously, and this guy sure does and is VERY meticulous with his testing. He's probably German, and pretty much corresponds to what lots of people think all Germans are like haha. Hope you enjoy it too! P.S. There might be an ad, but it's not mine

[@XombraS_49]

Ordnung muss sein. :)

[@BestUnintentionalASMR]

@@XombraS_49 hehe genau so ist's ;)

[@TheTypoMatser]

Genauso

[@giordanotriolo8681]

German and British people are the asmr gods

[@Outside998]

Actually, no. This is for a table tennis competition, and they have very strict guidelines with how the racket has to be and stuff. It's regulation standard, you just don't usually see them work.

[@creativecatproductions]

“One of the biggest topics in table tennis right now are volatile organic compounds.” That’s just the kind of sport we’re dealing with here.

[@ifstatementifstatement2704]

LOL

[@petrhofmann3776]

Thought he would start a test for cocaine.

[@Nosstalja]

I literally lol'd when he said this 😂😂

[@DrPeterVenkman383]

Those damn volatile organic compounds..... ✊✊

[@samuelpardana]

if anyone is curious it's because there are substances that players can (and very often do) use during the rubber gluing process that make the racket faster and better at imparting spin on the ball. this process is called boosting.

[@93683409]

“One of the biggest topics in table tennis today is volatile organic compounds” 💀

[@pokernightcoordinator6766]

The integrity of table tennis is at stake if these measures aren't taken.

[@JJ-xt2dq]

It’s up there with climate change if you ask me

[@AlanenJ]

@@pokernightcoordinator6766 Well, it was actually banned, because it caused a health risk to the players who use it.

[@millanferende6723]

@@JJ-xt2dq It will offset some of the private jet emissions, that some of the professionals used to get there.

[@gilgamesh795]

Not a damn thing funny about this. Typical casual with no respect for the game.

[@cgoldsmith111]

This guy drives a Vauxhall Cavalier from the early 90s, maintained to the exacting specifications as the first day of purchase, an absolutely immaculate machine: the glove compartment contains an official up to date AA road map, hand torch with spare Duracell batteries, compass, tissues, antiseptic wipes, a hi viz vest and all official documents pertaining to the vehicle. A double laminated A4 health & safety sheet is stored in every door unit and all head rests are angled and raised to Vauxhall’s own specific recommendation. There are 2 cassettes in the tape deck: “The Best Of The Lighthouse Family” and an audio book of “Frankenstein”

[@lyanlegolmuth5005]

Under the passenger seat, there's an hi-vi, an alcohol test, the tire fixing kit, another torch lamp, the maintenance guide of the car, a satellite phone, a Glock 18, condoms and a bottle of water

[@vostokcosomonaut5205]

@@lyanlegolmuth5005 How many condoms...?

[@lyanlegolmuth5005]

@@vostokcosomonaut5205 Enough to avoid him to be the only father of the future generations.

[@epicmtb8817]

@@vostokcosomonaut5205 a 12 pack with 4 missing

[@knutvoberg4236]

If I interpret his accent correctly, he does drive this car, except that it's called an Opel Vectra.

[@mortuusponduus7879]

I feel a mixture of confusion yet respect for this man’s job, somehow it seems so unimportant but the punctuality and cordial way he presents information in such a way that it feels incredibly valuable, how dare anyone have a racket that has a chemical emission beyond the guidelines

[@XIplupIX]

Well in the end it is just for the competitiveness of an sport so in away it is not very important for the world. But for the sport it is quite important you don't know how much difference an illegal racket can make.

[@XIplupIX]

Well in the end it is just for the competitiveness of an sport so in away it is not very important for the world. But for the sport it is quite important you don't know how much difference an illegal racket can make.

[@safetynet11]

“What the boys from the chemistry say...” always cracks me up. Love the obvious dedication to his profession. High attention to detail.

[@jackmiller2404]

I like to imagine that theres an actual chemistry lab in the next room, and a bunch of guys in lab coats testing rackets in various conditions.

[@SailfishSoundSystem]

@@jackmiller2404 Opens door, James Bond commandos training with flamethrowers and fast roping from the ceilings. ....Oops wrong room.....

[@monty3854]

@@jackmiller2404 Like willy wonkas lab, lots of bubbles and strange machines

[@Watch_over_us]

"The racket passes muster. Don't worry, I have I already cleared with the boys upstairs."

[@LvninLA]

This guy does everything with patience and precision. We need more people like this... heck... in any profession.

[@JoaoSilva-on4od]

Never in his life did this man ever thought he would have one and a half million views and become an underground youtube celebrity. I believe he doesnt care at all either. What a legend. He should totally get his own line of merchandise. "This shirt is completely legal." "I have a number for the supplier." "One of the biggest topics that we have in table tennis right now: " "I'm with the boys from the Chemistry"

[@zetaconvex1987]

"I believe he doesnt care at all either." Him: It's all about the racket compliance, not about the fame.

[@AsleepOnTheRiverside]

"I do this everyday day so I'm probably right"

[@1UPWonders]

One for the emo kids: “The cutting is very good” (I was an emo kid in my teen years so I know what I’m talking about)

[@ЕвгенийАндреев-щ8н]

P

[@tadhirmirr4297]

in the original video (this one is a repost) he actually appeared in the comment section explaining the origin of this video

[@Hyndergogen9]

This is one of the most European exchanges I've ever seen on film. The only way it would've been more European is if they had offered each other some of their homelands traditional cheeses and breads.

[@carlitooosbrown]

Had a laugh, good one. But would limit this to Central and North Europe. I don't see this in South or East Europe xD

[@zainmehal9950]

Well said

[@Cecedidic]

Or wine and whisky

[@jorge.jdm.10]

And tea 🫖☕️ lol

[@jaknil]

They did it off camera, as is tradition.

[@Radtastical]

I'm a table tennis racket tester and my wife breeds frogs. Our budget is 1.8 million.

[@naumche1]

🤣

[@Radtastical]

@@naumche1 😇 I hope you have a blessed day or night mate.

[@nataleemarie4440]

Best comment

[@vascosassettipintoleite8506]

Ahahahah real estate twins

[@ShinMegamiTensei1]

If you are irl imma lmao

[@zekejaydon4511]

So glad he mentioned volatile organic compounds in table tennis. Finally, an official that can’t be bought off by big volatile organic compound companies in table tennis.

[@CBCycles]

Big Voc as they’re known on Wall Street 😀

[@RoguePlank]

Big racket

[@squattingheads]

Aren’t those the players?

[@declanmcdonnell6965]

It's like she's being investigated for racketeering.

[@mister_betechkin]

Wayooooooo

[@evan8654]

Eyoooooo

[@24SparrowJack]

Ba dum tsshh

[@nextlevelmedia1038]

Omfg i cant believe I found you on this lmfao O'Reilly here!!!

[@declanmcdonnell6965]

@@nextlevelmedia1038 Hahaha, it was only a matter of time...

[@ConestogaCreek]

Clearly this man is a Monty Python fan and sought out a career where he could live it daily.

[@williamanderson2326]

underrated comment

[@vixoxoaltf5188]

He tried to start an arguments bussiness, but unfortunely that job was already taken

[@sustomusickillsyoutube]

😂❤

[@beaverinthekitchen896]

@@vixoxoaltf5188 yes dam lawyers

[@nicholasbrown5013]

@@vixoxoaltf5188 no it wasn’t

[@Leo-pd8ww]

I was expecting him to exclaim "zis is an illegal racket!", then hit a button under the table after which alarms start blaring, red flashing lights, two stasi officers marching in to take the woman away to an undisclosed location never to be seen again. Judging the woman's body language, she was expecting the same.

[@elifoz2771]

That`s not what us Germans are like😭 Or in this passionate man`s words: No. Zis is not legal.

[@JohnSapato]

Hahaha. Very dramatic. 😂

[@davy8128]

U made a german laugh, here's your medal sir 🏅

[@vonix9199]

@@davy8128 not funny! 🇩🇪

[@samconstantinou2335]

I was expecting the equivalent of the Gestapo to come running in if he found anything illegal and then he pulls out a Luger and points it directly out her head threatening to blow her brains out

[@kemp10]

5:13 - you can hear someone whose racket was too glossy being executed in the other room

[@captaincrispy2184]

Hahahahaha. The fumes were at a solid 4.1

[@duckfacemcgee3271]

you stole someone else's comment kemp10

[@JDC9076]

😂😂

[@randomuploadsism]

STOOOOOOP! 😂

[@adgtheone]

The comment by itself was funny enough, then I actually clicked on the timestamp and I lost it. I couldn't stop laughing! XD

[@ajp7968]

Honestly, I really like that he explains everything to her and is very precise in his explanations. I appreciate when people are really passionate about something and willing to share it with others :)

[@mrmeyep]

I always dreamed of this job when I was younger.

[@dombri]

There's terrible cheating in this business; it's a racket

[@civilizedagedaily1438]

@@dombri Terrible pun XD Love it!

[@cjohnson2916]

@@dombri Take your like and begone foul pungeon master.

[@silas4813]

Beans

[@DanielPennybaker]

I just spit up coffee all over my computer, thank you for this 😂😂😂

[@burakdavut4]

“Black is not so bright colour” lmao that’s a hell of an examination

[@zatoichiMiyamoto]

it’s like vsauce

[@captainsponge7825]

technically the truth though

[@gods_gotthispod]

@@zatoichiMiyamoto time??

[@lotharschramm5000]

Casual racism

[@andrewjenkins9965]

You learn something new every day.

[@OrdnanceTV]

I know this almost seems like a comedy skit, but in all seriousness, men who are purists and extremely detail oriented and methodical like this guy are the reason we have every technological advancement we do today. Thank you Mr. Küneth.

[@fofolacosa123]

Professionals have standards

[@adgtheone]

Amen to that, brother.

[@juanburgueno3274]

​@@fofolacosa123and psycopaths

[@payno20]

I’m so impressed by this guy - absolutely knows his shit. If I could ever exhibit expertise to his level I’d be amazed. Great find!

[@billwilliams5352]

Klaus, we found some abnormalities in your paperwork. Hand in your badge. Your rubber checking days are over.

[@uphillracer]

lollll

[@MrTS53321]

GENIUS!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@mashxverse]

Lmaoo

[@GodsHound444]

😂

[@dylanyanchus2166]

"But, it was completely legal"

[@Squishito]

I wish I had half the passion and proficiency this man has. What an absolute chad, this woman couldn't even handle the sheer power of his table tennis racket testing prowess. This man needs his own show or something, what a professional. Absolute legend.

[@nevadamareno3713]

😂😂😂😂

[@pokej8942]

😂😂🤣🤣

[@kirstyw2045]

Bro I think you can't handle it, you're simping so hard, I can respect that

[@Squishito]

@@kirstyw2045 yo you know I _want_ this man

[@polarispulsar]

Extraordinary username, you are certified most based gamer

[@blabla-kp5or]

Blud is wearing his favorite tuesday racket inspection suit

[@AlexGTAgamer]

I admit I was secretly hoping he’d find something wrong with the racket, just to see what would happen next.

[@xwewillberememberedx]

He pulls a Luger out from under the table and brains her.

[@KNG-pc5qd]

@@xwewillberememberedx crying rn

[@Thumper17]

Zis isz unacceptable. Zee racquet is illegal, I vill conviscate zis racquet, you will leef un shame.

[@adilfhortler1398]

@@Thumper17 good to zee the Reich is doing vell, how'z my glass of juice coming?

[@hickspaced2963]

@@Thumper17 Nah the dude is not german, sounds scandinavian, probably swedish.

[@justintyme4690]

This is more entertaining then the actual sport

[@zatoichiMiyamoto]

there is a deep gang level gambling scene on legal table tennis racket checking.

[@vrius3335]

Bah, table tennis is the best 🏓

[@nathanlong624]

Only entertaining bc of the lady's condescending and sarcastic attitude lmao

[@turtlesallthewaydown8831]

By the time the racket is ready, the tournament will be over

[@AAAHH]

@Tylapaco 1997 i mean its really fun to play tho

[@Collisto2435]

You can tell she wasn’t expecting this to be nearly as involved as it was

[@flowersandwater666]

you can clearly see she's feeling like she's having a fever dream

[@Fivepast01]

SRP made me want to watch this again.

[@7z7z7kO]

Yeaaa

[@camdenbegnaud8338]

Fr😂

[@kingpanguan]

I knew I wasn't the only one who enjoyed the original

[@omly85]

Me too!😁

[@guateguy]

He did a great remake

[@chrispowell6673]

When I was in the Marine Corps, we'd do pre flight inspections before we flew the helicopters. Half the time my inspection was eh it's got most of the bolts or yeah I'm pretty sure it looks like that normally. This dude would not allow any aircraft in the entire country fly with his thorough inspection style. Badass

[@bolikde9389]

May i ask how many suvived the flight ?

[@beattrixkiddo2725]

Was the same for army ground vics

[@larsfinlay7325]

there weren't international gambling markets offering action on whether or not you and your bros would make it back at the end of each mission. people bet a lot of money on pro table tennis. god damn though it would have been amazing to bet on whether or not marine helicopters were gonna get blown up in Afghanistan and Iraq, whether or not a convoy was gonna hit any IEDs, so many possibilities.

[@tonoornottono]

@@larsfinlay7325 jesus christ that’s horrible. where can i sign up

[@josephb4235]

@@beattrixkiddo2725 The Army isn't trained to as generally high of a standard as the Marines, for example Marines are required to run 3 miles in the pft, and the Army is 2 miles. That proves their standards are higher. Why are people in the Army always trying to associate themselves as the same level as the Marines?

[@xco9810]

Imagine when he meets the parents: - So, what do you do for a living? - I'm a professional table tennis racket tester, Sir.

[@zatoichiMiyamoto]

“...in fact i brought one in case you want to know more”

[@RicardoSanchez-es5wl]

As a matter of fact, everyone go ahead and give me your food. I need to inspect it and be sure it falls within regulation.

[@prrdpnt]

It's a job of measurements... And it's absolutely legal

[@CelestialWitch]

Anything above 500 Calories held per person at one time in this break room is in fact, illegal, gentlemen.

[@StuartFuckingLittle]

lol

[@sphinxsway]

'not at the moment' and 'The boys from the chemistry" get me every time

[@Gun1ld]

I hereby declare this to be the most authentic German video on the internet.

[@megahog2000]

I didnt know Mark Zuckerberg was into table tennis

[@skeletalknight]

Same.

[@Guess_The_Number]

You can't block him. What's your shtoyle?

[@vicoeltuco9582]

Same!! 😂😂

[@W._Langman]

🤣🤣🤣

[@alois4674]

this guy is a brit, not a jew

[@gonzaloenrique8741]

I hope this guy never loses this job. Seems so passionate about it.

[@atnam44]

something about this sincerely intense professionalism and precise measurements and metered dialogue is what brings on that tranquil feeling

[@NicholasAdamScott]

Never mess with a man who has reduced his margin for error to ± .01mm.

[@jaymac1737]

He's like the Hans Landa of ping pong inspection. "You're hiding illegal rackets under your floorboards aren't you"

[@samconstantinou2335]

Lmaoooo I’m crying 🤣 he’s ready to pull out the Luger at any moment and point it at her head screaming if he finds anything illegal with the racket

[@gusfalk]

Omg

[@captaincrispy2184]

HAHAHAHAHA. The comment section is gold already but THIS. Hahahaha 😂😂

[@cjy9728]

😂😂😂

[@luciusaquila4326]

Consider for a moment the world a racket lives in - its a hostile one indeed. If an illegal racket were to scamper through your door right now would you offer it a saucer of your milk ? I thought not.

[@notkrillin]

"Which averages to 3.65 if I have calculated that correctly in my head, but I do this every day so I think so." Amazing

[@Bassmaster8381]

Am I just really bad at math or does he seem like a math genius lol

[@eduardobravo218]

He was actually off by 0.01 I think. Measurements were 3.74,372,and 3.52. So from 3.50, that's +0.02, +0.24, and +0.22. Add them up and it's +0.48, divide by 3 gives +0.16, so avg is 3.50 + 0.16 = 3.66.

[@ass2mouthallday]

@@eduardobravo218 Okay nerd

[@CatholicZola]

Got em

[@steveshanyaski5076]

She wishes HIM luck at the end, not the inspector to the coach. This clip is immense.

[@Ted-s_comments]

French / German relationship this video is fantastic! everything is in it, that famous German Schadenfreude and the French frustration and vengeance putting the aggressor in a new situation forcing him to think about her last two words before leaving: Good Luck 😱

[@chocolatMouse]

The fact that someone developed a machine that measures the depth of centre for a table tennis bat astounds me. That must be a very niche market.

[@tooManyMidgets]

It would be hilarious if on the last test he is like "holy fuck this racket is too glossy, you cheater.. you are disqualified" in the exact same voice.

[@caseyberger6653]

🤣🤣😭

[@kevinperezgranada4395]

😂😂😂

[@marcotren]

no it won’t american humor is so cringe

[@gamelearn9768]

@@marcotren I hope you’ve become a better person in the 11 months you’ve been gone please don’t remain a loser.

[@marcotren]

@@gamelearn9768 stuplest comeback i’ve ever read lol but i wont expect much from you…

[@kappnel]

One thing I truly appreciate about unintentional ASMR videos is the awareness of these specific jobs and the pride people take in their jobs, which is very respectable.

[@justbrowsing5014]

Regulator: "The thickness of the rubber is 0.20. That's illegal" Coach: "Oh okay, should I just take it home?" Regulator: "Is this a joke to you?"

[@kayldomaj6493]

"We will be proceeding to your arrest. You are facing up to a 300 year prison sentence"

[@La_sagne]

what do you mean "take it home"? you're not going home anytime soon, sir!

[@Beau74]

@@La_sagne LOL

[@JohnnyTightIips]

7:45 Thank god the gloss check came in. That epidemic of players blinding their opponents with glossy rackets was rampant.

[@ryanduzand2631]

This guy found the perfect job for his personality, and his bosses found the perfect job where he won't irritate the shit out of his co-workers. Just put this dude in the office and let him nerd out.

[@TRUEiMPROrecords]

Haha! These inspecyions were invented so they could get Hans out of the office :D

[@thomasblanchard1800]

He would make an unflappable customs inspector

[@Funny-l8h]

W

[@TalesofStories]

You know she has someplace else to be. I love that this is even edited which means it lasted way longer than 11 minutes! It's videos like this that make explaining ASMR so hard to explain.

[@marcotren]

how do you know? you know her? lmao “she has someplace else to be”

[@benmcdonnell85]

4:53 ‘Thank you for the info........oh you’re not done.’

[@crex-pd1vv]

Hahaha

[@oliverbell7360]

I bet she actually thought this was it, at least hoped so

[@sugoipapi2572]

That's when things really started to kick up a notch... *Volatile Organic Compounds*

[@gerrardjones28]

"No not even close"

[@mudza92]

Why, oh whyyyy is this so good??? I love this video it's so Tingly and asmry. We need people like him everywhere

[@hannahcurtis1680]

this is shot like a sitcom i can’t stop laughing

[@ChillavaKirby]

Oh my god you're right 😂😂😂 the fast paced shot changes, the subtly shaky camera, it's too perfect

[@jaeslow6347]

Exactly 😆

[@1yearago491]

The disgruntled lady thinking “Why do I have to put with this bs with this insane man”

[@katpage9378]

That’s so true hahah

[@ruthw1995]

The way it keeps cutting back to the woman is like in a Tim and Eric sketch when it cuts back to the scene's straight-man

[@pauljackson1975]

4:00 "...If I have calculated that correctly, in my head, but I do it everyday, so i think so" haha! Love it!

[@BoardgameLiker]

Imagine trying to sell a used car to this guy.

[@bokyy747]

he would disasemble the car to the last bolt to check true mileage.

[@jefffawcett]

@@bokyy747 this is not the original washer on the spare tire retention bolt!

[@daphne4983]

He'll measure everything

[@LNZT]

Wait a minute, your car has gotten 0.12mm lower then before, this is legal though as the suspension wears out after a while.

[@waynedonoghue4071]

Car looks nice. You wouldn't mind if I bring my friend Ray along to assist my inspection?

[@DrPeterVenkman383]

5:25 - what the boys from the chemistry call The Photo-ionisation Detector. Those crazy cats and their electronically charged gas!!

[@ChaseRogers2115]

The tools he used are quite impressive for being used for Table Tennis equipment

[@viiltelijamurhaaja7225]

The game you play drunk

[@ameliekranz3827]

I‘ve been playing table tennis for more than ten years myself and I also had many racket checks but this is the most thorough and profound analysis I‘ve ever seen by far😂 Usually they just look at it for like 5 seconds and say „Okay there you go“

[@puttonyG]

It definitely has a certain mockumentary vibe. The characters, the slightly shaking cam, the colours.. Like a pilot episode from 2002. I was actually waiting for idk.. Michael from the office to come in at some point

[@murklins]

Lmao I can imagine the woman awkwardly staring at the camera while the paddle inspector babbles on

[@declan7164]

I was getting those thoughts to

[@dannydevito5729]

This can't be real lol they would just make everyone play with the same paddle

[@pjschaaf414]

2:50 that’s what she said

[@gdda2891]

@@dannydevito5729it’s a training video for doing the racquet inspection

[@alexmathewmendoza]

I imagine for the vast majority of people, engaging in or even observing something like this would be horrendously boring, but for me there’s something pleasing about the exactitude and deliberateness of this examination.

[@dawnatilla]

I absolutely love when the internet comes together and delivers solid gold comments one after the other! My first experience with this was the ASMR guy giving a haircut to a chair. The invisible guy comments had me rolling for so long, tears and everything. Priceless. Fucking comedy.

[@classygrasshopper6249]

Im gunna need a link to that video...😂

[@chrisbrown18andup]

He says "i do this everyday." In my mind, I assumed he was a volunteer on the weekend and was an accountant (or whatever) for his day job. What a career path to be doing this highly specialized skill EVERY DAY.

[@dimitripapashvili860]

Actually the number he calculated in his head was incorrect ))

[@SpicyDragonWings]

You know it's serious business when his wallpaper of choice is graph paper

[@kiliksama]

This is totally his bedroom!

[@haventhebeast2671]

@@kiliksama oh Im sure

[@jackbrown3985]

Lmao, didn’t even notice that

[@sidewindersid4180]

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a racket inspector

[@kioku119]

LOL I didn't even notice!!!!

[@LearningToLinka]

Honestly amazed that the bag isn’t sealed. How has he not foreseen that someone could EASILY sneak in and change the racquets? I need another video about the security measures in places to ensure optimum racquet safety at all times post inspection

[@samconstantinou2335]

There’s actually 10 special forces soldiers handpicked from their regiments, standing outside with AK-47s along with trip wires and claymores along the path and 6 K9’s ready to bite the hands off anyone who steps through that door unauthorised.

[@markmontana90]

@@samconstantinou2335 you sound like a guy who has served in the racket security business before.

[@samconstantinou2335]

@@markmontana90 This kind of information is more top secret than government nuclear programmes!

[@RTM950]

​@@samconstantinou2335 How to make sure these men are trustworthy and not prone to corruption?

[@michalsvihla1403]

He likely approves them himself by an equally meticulous process

[@MyFictitiousLife]

This is relaxing, nerve racking, and also something straight out of a british sitcom from the early 2000s

[@ill4570]

“I calculate in my head all day so I’m probably right” I need that confidence

[@idglet9565]

"I think so" it's a subtle difference but it comes across as (potentially) much less arrogant. he's simply stating a stsatistical fact that anyone as rigorous and dedicated as he is must be used to these calculations at this point. i found it cute and charming.

[@SailfishSoundSystem]

I have faith in your abilities.

[@ToxikDnB544]

@@idglet9565 is that a hollow knight themed cat as your pfp?

[@dathaniel9403]

Well he was wrong, so maybe it wasn't justified. (3.52+3.72+3.74)/3 =3.66, not 3.65.

[@dathaniel9403]

​@@idglet9565 It's funnier when you realize that he's wrong. (3.52+3.72+3.74)/3 =3.66, not 3.65.

[@winesap2]

There's nothing more relaxing than watching someone skilled at a craft at work on the details. It's relaxing to watch on video but probably incredibly more so in person.

[@oliveruschmann2644]

"What does your company produces?" / "Gloss Meters for Racket inspectors."

[@followertheleader]

"We make a killing. Apparently they take it very seriously."