What Happens When Our Foster Daughter Goes Home

[@Kirsten_is_cursed10]

I'm secondhand excited for Miss A's future - she has SO MUCH potential. It seems like she has the confidence to be a boss, the good taste and wit to be a professional stylist or artist or comedy writer... legit anything! This girl is gonna rock the world someday SOON!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Agree, 100%

[@jahnayawashington7919]

Watch her reveal!!! Just posted

[@elizabethowens-white4980]

You talking about how Darcy doesn’t really understand how fostering works made me think about the children her age that are in foster care...even they probably don’t understand what’s going on. So sad! Thank you for sharing your heart and family with children who need it 😊

[@colleenshaw1607]

Yeah, i don't know why i didn't think about how it might challenge the foster siblings. For me personally, i had memories from when i was 18 months old to this day at age 35. Granted, not many. Namely the challenger explosion and when i learned how to use a zipper on my own for the first time (also have a picture to confirm it... Film was expensive in the 80s yall, so it was a big deal for my mom and i) so big events can make lasting memories after the age of 17 to 18 months. I think it's beautiful that you make such a great book of memories for him. He may remember more than you expect

[@katydenman2434]

My daughter Charlotte has sadly been taken from me twice wrongly this last time her and sister and brother where gone for a month she know what was going she was so very upset I was heartbroken she tells me everyday she doesn't miss her foster parents because there not her mommy . i told her daddy messed up and I am so sorry the day she came home she was so so happy . are CPS case closes next month on the 9th we are happy and we moving because . i always wanted to be a foster mom but that was ruined 😭

[@amberslilrose3954]

I was 7 years old in foster care. I didn’t understand what was going on. I longed for my mom and dad terribly. It ended up that my mother ditched us 6 children, and my dad fought for custody of his three daughters for over a year. He had to buy a car, have a completely furnished home, for three daughters... etc. (My mother had 3 boys before she’d met my dad.) I haven’t seen my mother since then. It is incredibly painful.. and you don’t realize the terrible effect that it has/will have on your life, until you are much older.

[@sarahmccullough1100]

It’s hard to think of miss A not being around your house ☹️ x

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Samesies

[@KM-ye9so]

Yep. At first, my heart sunk when I read the title. But ultimately, if it can be done, Miss A going home to her family is best case scenario. So I hope I get to be sad to no longer "see" her in videos one day because it would actually be a happy thing.

[@sarahmccullough1100]

K M I absolutely agree x

[@tyriexs5]

@@KM-ye9so not always TRUE.

[@margaretthym8234]

It will be so bittersweet when Miss A goes back to her family... but the memories and the love are worth it. And hopefully she will continue to be part of your life and vise versa in some way. No matter what, Miss A has a second family for life.

[@somedude172]

i love how you make a point not to speak for miss A. obviously you speak for her in a general sense, like in an advocate type way, but you do seem to make a point not to put words in her mouth. you speak for her, not over her, which is rare for parents tbh (at least where i live)

[@rianholloway3867]

I can't believe we've been watching her journey for 10 months

[@zoeymalef4724]

I hope you guys are able to stay in touch with Miss A after she goes home. Y’all are such a positive force in her life

[@madisonhollifield1558]

I went into foster care when I was 8. When I was a teen, I looked her name up on Facebook. We now stay connected all the time! I’m now a mom myself, it’s crazy how times flies.

[@HelloHi-ik5lx]

Madison Hollifield glad you got to return to a healthy home

[@thechronicillnessdiaries2773]

I cried!! I love Miss A and don't even know her!!! I love the home and stability you guys are providing for these kiddos!!

[@shaddowsdieout]

My children were returned to my care 2 months ago. The system damaged them. They were emotionally neglected despite my best efforts to alert the caseworker to this. They're so hurt because of the way they were treated. Not just by the foster mother but by CPS themselves. It's going to be a long road but I know I have the tools to help them build the skills they need. Maybe one day they can become the advocates they needed.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

💔

[@SawyerMartoglio]

I'm so sorry your children had such a rough hand. Foster care systems are definitely flawed and abused by some people. I hope that your family can heal those wounds together.

[@barbibutton9619]

So sorry. Many have similar stories

[@sarcasm.is.a.language]

So this is my first video of yours *I came from Tik Tok* I could tell it's gonna be hard when you have to say goodbye but I'm glad you guys just want the best for her and plan on staying in her life...... God bless all of you and stay safe

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Thanks for jumping over to our KZbin channel! Welcome

[@fairychangeling8337]

Setting yourself up for heartbreak is such a selfless thing to do❤

[@oneproudmama1565]

I know that u all probably hear this all the time but, we really need more people like ur family♡ People that really truly care and only want the best.

[@jenniferfutrell8221]

I had always planned to be a foster parent because I was in foster care as a child. We signed up for classes and before we could start we ended up getting emergency custody of our 3 nieces/nephews. 🖤 You guys are the best.

[@natalieshicks7880]

My aunt has fostered teen girls some who were pregnant for over ten years. She is in her 80's now and has relationships with several of the girls who are now adults. She has mentored many young women and helped them make better choices.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

That is beautiful!

[@thedarkness111]

It must be so hard but you guys 100% have the right attitude. My aunt was a foster carer and at one stage it seemed like they could adopt one of their foster children but she eventually got re United with her bio mum. Very sad for all but ultimately the kid has to come first.

[@watchmedo635]

Cannot believe it’s been 10 months already! She’s got such a bright future ahead of her :) stay safe guys!

[@meghan6306]

Aww! We will miss miss A also! Maybe once she is home she could make a video talking about her experience if she felt comfortable? It would be cool to hear from her!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Only after she is 18. So much that goes into this that she may not be ready for.

[@debbiewithtype1diabetes559]

That’s going to be heart felt and difficult but support to Miss A in the long term will be most important in my belief!!!

[@girlfromsouth214]

My heart lurched when just reading the video title. I can imagine how much you guys will miss Ms. A when she is reunified with her family..... and how gratifying it will be to know that you had an opportunity to spend this time with her. Being a foster family is such a generous and selfless act. One thing is for sure, when/if she does leave, We The Village will miss seeing her in your videos SO much..... and even if we don't see her on your videos, we'll still be cheering Ms. A on. How could we not, since she and your family have made a permanent impact on our hearts?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Beautifully said ❤️

[@anyabar1987]

I was watching a crazy middles video the other day and they mentioned that their biological son once asked when he was going to be moved to another family because he had seen so many kids come and go. This was before they started adopting I think.

[@maysmith4906]

He asked when was he going to live with his grandma.

[@brooklynncrowder1998]

i watch crazy middles too lol

[@carolinelvsewe]

It is so difficult to see them go especially 5,6,7 yr olds who have no filter about how they feel. Always supporting parents but it’s sometimes very very difficult for our children and foster child. Experience no matter how strong YOU are is not easy...still very rewarding in giving hope to a child even if it’s remembering what a family CAN look like if they want it

[@TheSpawningRack]

I'll cry during that episode for sure.

[@Oliviabtruecrime]

As always, I love your channel! Miss A will always remember you all as special people in her life. She will tell her own kids about the impact your family had on her.

[@hollyjoy3343]

She’s going to really miss you!!!

[@kisekishojo]

In the beginning of our case, we were temporary while a kin placement was going through ICPC. We developed a great relationship with him and agreed to keep contact even after she left. The case has changed and now she wants us to adopt her and we still have a great relationship with the relative! In fact he is coming to visit at the end of the month. Even if she had left, we knew we would need a breather after she left. It is hard, you do get attached!

[@cylesgonewildw7361]

There are bad foster homes and good ones and the good ones are the ones that give kids hope.that they will find love there will be a a brighter side thank you for being one of the few good ones

[@bossmayneki7039]

We will definitely all miss her when she goes, but we know it’s for the better!! MEANWHILE i found a homemade oatmeal cream pie recipe and i think you guys should try it on video with Miss A! www.mybakingaddiction.com/homemade-oatmeal-cream-pies/

[@KM-ye9so]

Love ya'll so much, and I hope Miss A will feel our love even when she is no longer in your home! She has a whole Village rooting for her! She is an incredible young lady with such a bright future - I just know it! :)

[@laartje24]

That's such a great recourse, thanks for sharing.

[@tifbrown8419]

I made a Playlist of the sesame street episodes about foster care and addiction, and also autism and breathing exercises for my 5yo to watch when she asks for my phone. It's been helpful! She also really likes the book Fitzy Needs a Home. The author is Kait from Love Mother Blog.

[@KTMCDO]

I love that snack box in the garage

[@ashleighcrws]

My husband and I work at a home for teenage girls ages 12-18. We have 10 girls at a time. It is so hard when you get attached and they leave.. when they leave we rarely get updates unless the teens reach out to us on FB. However, my daughter is 17 months And goes to work with us. She is around the girls and they become family. She obviously she won’t remember them. But I will share pictures with her.. Praying for you family whenever you go through her leaving!

[@its.just.me.7173]

I know for a fact I’ve been subscribed to you for many many months. In this last 3 months I have had to “re subscribe” twice because KZbin keeps unsubscribing me. Not cool! I want to be here to support every single video

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

😭

[@morgankirkendall5829]

Littleman did not seemed impressed! 🤦‍♀️😅

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Nope!

[@SuzannaCarter]

You are such a great foster parent! I wish all the foster parents out there were similar to your family ❤️👏

[@djmastervolume9785]

"What the future holds" and cute family picture. Love the videos and content. They mean a lot to me and others. I thank God for you and your family. So glad I found your channel.

[@sarawelty653]

Thanks for the link for the filters! Have been making masks when my back cooperates!

[@theguntersadopt3268]

Thats nice that you guys are gonna be there no matter what age. I bet as a foster parent some FPs might have boundaries around post adoption.

[@oranjmusemeyer968]

I would have kept the green top too! Good choice! Stay safe and healthy!🙂

[@kayleegoff141]

I heard about the website WWW.Sesame Street.org in early childhood seminar. When we were taking about difficult topics to teach teach them to preschool students.

[@pippinrocks]

Reason 1000000 to love Sesame Street! They come up with everything!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Absolutely!

[@kymbradley5899]

Hey my favorite KZbin family!!!! ❤❤❤ Hope yall are safe and well....

[@marisa768]

I don't even know you guys and it makes me so sad to think about Miss A not being in your home anymore, when the time comes! But I also wanted to thank you guys for inspiring me to pursue being a foster/adoptive parent in the future. I have health issues that would make pregnancy/L&D dangerous for me, but I've always had a longing to be a mom. Your channel has taught me so much about this part of our society not often talked about. I so look forward to the day when I can welcome a child or teen into my home this way! You and John are doing an amazing job!

[@mackenzieb2218]

Ugh I love you and your family. So much.

[@claireburford4818]

you guys are so inspiring! ❤️

[@tasha_111_]

Great quarantine haircut mama!!! 👌😆👏

[@lolagutierrez3948]

Stitch fix shirt looking so cute!!!!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Heck yes!!!

[@immecourtney4442]

Yaaaas so glad she kept it 🥰 hope she kept the mustard jacket too!!

[@angiemurray640]

I want the best for Miss A however my heart will break when she leaves 😢😢

[@danilara6347]

At what point does a foster child become available for adoption? Is it based on when parental rights are lost or by time? Like Miss A will have been in your care for a year, at that point can you adopt her?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

In our state, it's 22 months at that point the county can request permanent rights.

[@meganball8394]

Does Miss A ever babysit your little ones? She seems to have such a sweet relationship with them!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

She is not allowed to babysit due to other foster care givers abusing this responsibility. We have adjusted her chores though during quarantine to help us and the family so she plays with sawyer for a dedicated hour while we prep dinner and get the house in order.

[@meganball8394]

That's great! I have a 1 year old as well and I could use a Miss A for an hour every day! Lol

[@jomichelle4981]

Sawyer was like ughhhh okayyyyy 🤣

[@sarahmccullough1100]

I love Sesame Street as a kid I’m going to watch it anyway 😂

[@CristinSierra]

What camera do you use to vlog with?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Up until recently, my iPhone 10. Upgraded over the last month or 2 to the iPhone 11 Pro Max. Mainly for the camera for vlogging.

[@bethhague8470]

How will the dynamic change if Miss A cant return home by 18? Will you still be responsible for her post 18 and how will you manage that relationship?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

That depends, we will cross that bridge when it comes to it.

[@debbiewithtype1diabetes559]

That’s a. Cool Candy box well done

[@arielross3929]

How much does Miss A know? Since she is obviously getting older to understand these difficult situations. Like when It comes to disagreements you may be having with the birth parents? i.e. the family vacation. Did she know all the back and forth or Just the final decision? Is it at your discretion what she knows or someone like a case worker?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

She knows it “all” based on her age and maturity (emotional and mental)

[@LifeByMelinda]

Great video. ❤️ Also, quick question about the Filti fabric (couldn’t find the answer on their site). Do you happen to know if it can be washed daily?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I do not believe so. It is recommended once

[@LifeByMelinda]

Be The Village thank you!

[@beautywearsboots6458]

Access to proper materials for masks is such a big step toward returning to normal! I'm curious though, if they are selling the material at cost, how are they able to offer the discount with your code?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Good question, I honestly am not sure. The 10% may be making it at cost.

[@96arielvictoria]

If adoption occurs with a future placement, will you continue to foster?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Yes. If we have the physical space and the time required to dedicate to the child, absolutely.

[@GuerinGrad09]

I've heard in some states that bio parents have a certain time limit to complete all that they need to do in order to get their kids back or else the right will be terminated. I know you have talked about permanency being 2 years in Ohio, but is there a time limit for bio parents to get their kiddos back?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

There is, but if the county files for permanent custody (termination of parental rights) that’s when the delays can happen and the parents would go through appealing.

[@debbiewithtype1diabetes559]

I am A kid craft person not a sewer either!

[@zenseed75]

I know it will be good for her but will not like when this day comes. 😩 💔

[@crystalnicole1287]

I worry how hard it's going to be on Miss A when she returns home. I mean it's been mentioned before that shes got it better now in many different ways. So in a sense it's like she is getting a taste of the good life then going back to what she had before. Its gotta suck for her too

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I understand your intent with your comment. Good life is subjective though. Being with her family is the good life. Not all kids who are coming into care have homes that are depicted on the media. Sometimes it’s just one bad decision or circumstance or falling on hard times. Just a thought 💛

[@demilovato7083]

As a person who was in faster care for three years, i just want to thank you souch for being one of the nice families that are there for the child and actually love him/her instead of just doing to "look good" I hope you stay in her life for a LONG time.❤ (also sorry i just spammed your tik tok😂)

[@amandasavard1381]

Whitney, do you know if the filti fabric is meant to be one time use or washable/reusable for masks

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Yes, one time use is recommended.

[@emmabyrd9901]

I bet miss A could be a great babysitter!

[@bryellehayes8334]

Is foster something I should try?

[@ashlynnmarler1964]

Hi!!! Im a former foster child and will be going into fostering when im older and stable! When thinking about being a foster parent ask yourself... 1) will you love this child as much as your own ( because like i said im a former foster child when a foster child goes into a home all they want it to feel loved and safe) 2) would you do everything in your power to make sure the child is safe 3) would you be willing so help with there emotional states such as depression, anxiety and so on There are many many othet questions to ask yourself but these are the main 3... nobody can decide if you are right for fostering other than yourself♥️♥️

[@highwire33]

I'm not sure if you are allowed to talk about this, but does it look like she will be going home soon? This video made me think she was going to be reuniting with her bio family soon.

[@nycgirllauren]

i think if that was the case she would mention it

[@whitie8383]

I think with reunification will usually happen within the first 2 years of the child being in care

[@the_braveand_loved1658]

@@whitie8383 Hey Jessica, Yes that is the ultimate goal. I am a former foster child and usually after 2 years of a child being in care they make the decision on what the long term placement will be for the child. In my case it took about 4 years for the judge to make a long term plan for me. So it can vary between different circumstances. :)

[@highwire33]

@@the_braveand_loved1658 Thank you for your contribution! I really appreciate the insight!

[@MizSazz]

highwire33 also they mentioned before that things have slowed down in the foster system with court etc

[@tmoore7291]

Hey I know, this has nothing to do with the video but if the parents are church going people and don't believe in drinking alcoholic beverages does that mean the foster parents can't drink a beer or wine in their home ? Great video keep up the,great work. ..

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

The birth parents have no say in the alcohol consumption of the foster parents

[@Katie-xl8ep]

If Miss A couldn’t return home, would you look into adoption? And how likely does this situation seem to be?

[@margotalmanzar5210]

Katie Roberts I think how the system works is if Miss A cant go back to her parents for whatever reason the state will try to find other family members she could live with, like aunts, uncles, grandparents. Even older cousins and more distant relatives would be contacted. If no one can have her then yes she will be eligible for adoption. But if she happens to turn 18 in the time it takes to find a family for her to live with she will not be eligible for adoption her “care order” will be dismissed and she can either choose to live with someone or the state will help her get on her own two feet with welfare support, free housing etc (this is how it works in the UK where I’m from anyway)

[@au-somebrookesadventures2963]

Awesome

[@Caffeinated8418]

We will miss A.

[@taylormcraig]

💜💜💜

[@colleenshaw1607]

It does make me wonder what the reunification process and court process looks like with the current pandemic. I know that if the court orders to reunify then it has to happen. Are there new considerations for safety/resources needed to help reunification happen that in general weren't discussed before? I do hope all the best for her birth family and yours as well, but i know the goal is to reunify and was curious how or if it looks different post pandemic. Do you have any historical examples to draw from ex. HIV, ebola or 1918 flu that played a role in changing social services? I know the last pandemic of HIV played a huge role in kids going into care across the world but especially in developing countries or other poor/at risk communities. I don't mean to sound cold, but I'm glad that miss A has 2 families who love her and hopefully everyone stays healthy, however if her birth family gets sick at least she's already in a loving foster home. Please let everyone you know, especially with darker skin that it is vital to make sure you have enough vitamin D and talk it over with their doctor. I hope everyone comes out safe.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

We don’t have anything to go off of historical on how it has impacted social services, at least I’m unaware. We aren’t able to discuss what is happening with her case though so most of your questions I’m unable to answer. Vitamins are good for us all!

[@colleenshaw1607]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity thank you so much for responding! Of course, please keep both her confidentiality and health safe. I was just more curious since your job is about building training courses for current and future care families. Maybe it was a side project idea of seeing what had changed from HIV/AIDS in social services since there was so much misinformation, discrimination, fear and kids who suddenly needed to be put into care. I know these diseases are very different, but the impacts they have on our culture and social infrastructure are lasting. Maybe looking at history isn't what you typically do, but I'm hoping that we can learn the lessons from those before us and stand on the shoulders of giants that gave kids surviving the last pandemic a bright future while giving us teachable moments for the one we have right now. Just a thought. Thanks for all you do and sharing your loving family with the world.

[@colleenshaw1607]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity also, i wasn't meaning her case specifically. What i mean if the home/family has more medical/shelter requirements than before such as ventilation checks, adequate soap, sanitizing training, technology access to allow for remote learning etc. Tbh... I kinda hope all foster kids get a basic computer or ipad/tablet so even if their birth families aren't technologically access secure, the child's ability to access education wouldn't rule out reunification if all other court requirements are made. Sorry if my question before was poorly worded. I really meant more as a systematic process/issue as a care trainer and how your process of attending court meetings looks lime either via phone, zoom, in person etc. My intent was never about miss a specifically other than she is clearly loved and cared for. Sorry if i wasn't clear

[@colleenshaw1607]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity omg... I just did a quick youtube search and found absolutely no results about fostercare and HIV or how fostercare changed after HIV. Covid or not, that's definitely a public health and foster care concern of how to manage kids/families who enter the care system with infectious disease and HIV is still very relevant today. This would be a great PSA opportunity with a disease that's much more understood and researched. Thanks again. Sorry for the triple messages lol

[@sandrabernard4134]

Are you aware that you can not wash the Filti fabric. There is part of the statement I received from Filti when I inquired about washing instructions, " so there’s no proven washing method that would eradicate the virus from the material. We recommend using the material in a disposable fashion". At $29.99 plus shipping for the small piece of fabric for disposable masks doesn't make sense when I can buy cotton fabric for $7.99 a yard. These masks were supposed to be for healthcare workers and I was totally ripped off.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Filti is not cotton fabric, it is a material designed for actual masks. I am sorry you feel it was not a good purchase for you.

[@SimplyTrinity07]

That 1 dislike was someone who accidentally clicked it

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

🤣🤣🤣

[@theguntersadopt3268]

Haters are always going to hate unfortunately:(

[@erinjoannafile]

If you should have the option to adopt Ms A would you?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Yes

[@morganh1071]

She stated in the video she’s open to adoption

[@aryannaparedes7296]

Make more tik tok plz

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Done!

[@Myraisins1]

Where is the Link?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

In the description

[@lukehartman9386]

Myraisins1 it’s in the description box.