Beyond the Basics: Enneagram Type 5

In this series we're moving beyond the basics of the Enneagram and doing a deeper dive into each of the types as well as the system as a whole.
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[@deoxiribo]

8:19 “We’re all trying to manage it, but it’s all managing us.” Oof! Too real.

[@mikemenzie]

Feelings are 100% valid and beautiful things, positive and negative, both. Just because I'm not overly expressive with mine when it serves little logical purpose for me, doesn't mean others shouldn't express theirs. I just prioritize values and intention beneath emotions more than emotions themselves😊 I'm a 5 pursuing a career in social work.

[@sparklefulpaladin]

I'm a 5 and most of this is pretty spot-on. The one big thing that is different is that I'm generally not shy about expressing my boundaries with people. "You cross this line again and these will be the consequences. Do you understand and accept that?" is something I've said so many times. This may also be the line to 8 talking, as well as having 8 in my tritype, though! I'm also an INTJ, though I've been mistaken for being an ENTJ before, as well.

[@dalithecat]

As a type five, the name anecdote was embarrassingly accurate 😳😳😳

[@simlucien]

That story about the name change, yup. I shortened my name to a 3 letter word because I got so tired of everyone mispronouncing it and it's less work for me. Its planning every thing 3 steps ahead to maneuver around having the same (tedious) back and forth everytime. But I couldn't imagine having to sit through the group freak out of everyone like that. That made me wince. I'm pretty sure I have a one on one version of that over something every other week. "THIS is why I didn't say anything," is probably in my top 10 most commonly uttered phrases. Which is pretty funny.

[@kimberlyandcoach]

Hahaha this took me time to understand about my 5s -- the degree to which I have felt like, "Well, why didn't you say anything?!" LOL

[@simlucien]

@@kimberlyandcoach It's less work to just deal with it and keep it moving 😂

[@mattdonlan7745]

I think, as a 5, I use the word strategic over calculating. You’re right I’m that the word cal I laying seems negative, but strategic sounds more thoughtful :)

[@TravisMay108]

"I don't want to spend my emotional resources on your reaction to this." :D Great video. I also loooveee the explanation of avarice. I'm not greedy or materialistic at all in the conventional sense, so it this deeper explanation is super helpful and spot on.

[@ConsciousEnneagram]

Glad you liked it! I've known a lot of 5's in my day, and I don't think any of them could ever be described as "greedy." They just like to manage their resources! haha.

[@MatthewEaton]

The old adage holds true for 5s. It is a rainy day and you manage to get inside of an elevator with a 5. They have their umbrella tucked under their arm but they aren't aware they are poking you with it. Just before the you can comment, the 5 leaves with you seething. Someone else in the elevator asks why you are upset. "That person was poking me with their umbrella the entire ride and they made me upset." The other elevator rider, who is also clearly a 5, comments. "That person didn't upset you. You were poked by an umbrella randomly and you got upset all by yourself." As someone who is a 5 (INFJ, so I lean more on my 4 wing), I can say this is perfectly logical and also understandable to defuse emotional outbursts and conflict. It isn't to say I don't understand or care about their feelings, but them raging for 10 minutes about the ethics of umbrella holding and whether or not the people in Switzerland use red umbrellas that only twist to the left to stop this sort of situation only wastes valuable time for us both. That's great and all, here's an umbrella, go have fum. Not fun, that is different. Fum. The neighborhood of fun, sort of the culdesac of fun, but still it is far away from me and my protective logical castle of knowledge and emotional pool that didn't have anyone take a dip in it... Good conversation for sure! I felt understood and yet still wanted to share the five-iest of five stories to explain why we think the way we do.

[@kimberlyandcoach]

@MatthewEaton Love it! Thanks Matthew!

[@thislittleweirdgirl332]

Absolutely 💯 accurate that we feel loved when someone shows care for what we care about.

[@charleyrome1]

As a 5, I really appreciate you explaining us without judgement. It’s pretty hard being a 5 and dealing with other people because they think we are emotionally cold. I feel misunderstood by most people because they can’t see what’s going on inside my head. Lately I’ve been working on talking more and trying to let others inside. Not natural for me.

[@Hannerloo]

INFJ 5w4 SP/SO Really enjoyed this commentary.

[@1113AdidasG]

A lot of this is spot on. Especially the bit about being calculating and hoarding resources.

[@Byteme34]

Recently found five here, hello 👋. May I say, this was a beautiful episode. Currently in a deep dive for what all of this means, i love that i found your channel. 🙏

[@ConsciousEnneagram]

We love that you found it, too!

[@pugninja7037]

I'm a 7 , I've been in love with a 5 for ever.. May intp friends who are 5s .. I don't have issues with this type

[@archivist_of_dragonstone]

I'm in a commuter marriage with a 5w6 and I'm struggling with the detachment. I'm trying to remind myself that he probably doesn't notice or understand how hurtful it is to have so much physical and emotional distance between us. It's hard for me, as a 1w2, not to "fix" things to the way I think they "ought to be" in a committed, long-term relationship. He's also dismissive avoidant so I have to be very careful about "shoulds" and "ought tos"!

[@ConsciousEnneagram]

Long distance can be a real struggle for some partners. Both parties have to be willing to make accommodations for the other in order for it to be something that's supportive both ways. We'll dive more into relationships in the next season!

[@archivist_of_dragonstone]

@@ConsciousEnneagram I appreciate the reply. Sadly, my partner has let me know that he's done with the relationship, and despite that type 1 urge to "fix" things/people, I've accepted that our 10 year marriage is at an end. I do enjoy your content and look forward to the next season, though.

[@Hannerloo]

@@archivist_of_dragonstone I was about to comment, you might be very incompatible with each other and need to move on and find someone who alreaady wants what you have to offer. i am sorry that you are going through a rough breakup and ending. but truly, it shouldnt be so hard to maintain a basic relationship with someone. life is hard, relationships shouldn't be.

[@Hale8R]

This was amazing and eye opening! You guys were really enjoyable to watch and it’s always great to understand

[@ConsciousEnneagram]

Thank you so much!

[@kimberlyandcoach]

Thanks!

[@maureenclement2553]

Thanks for taking the time to explain lightheartedly. I only recently discovered I’m a 5… and it hasn’t seemed to be a “good thing to be.” You both shone some light… I wonder if there’s a cool film character embodying the attributes or a 5? That could be reassuring to this story loving gal🌸 thanks for taking time out of your lives 🧡 oh yeah and I’ve definitely snuck out of parties when my tank was empty. I just thought it was because I’m an introvert 😬

[@kimberlyandcoach]

Okay, it's not a film, but Kai Bartley on Grey's Anatomy is pretty classic! Will have to think about films, though!

[@kimberlyandcoach]

@maureenclement2553 Also, Abed on Community? And Sherlock Holmes! Especially love the show Elementary :)

[@maureenclement2553]

@@kimberlyandcoach Sherlock has always been my hero 😃 especially RDJr rendition ☺️

[@katyandchisolmbeckham]

Spot on! INTJ 5.

[@ajuarez2800]

Same

[@AhHyn]

Same

[@lolipopPrincess]

Yesss

[@babydoll6280]

That guy analyzed your groups behavior so well that he knew for a fact you all would overreact and then you all did.

[@zurilac16]

Spot on commentary❤

[@kimberlyandcoach]

Thanks!

[@lumi33tv]

Awesome content! I love this

[@kimberlyandcoach]

Thanks!

[@EmTreasure88]

👍👍👍👍👍

[@claytonia1586]

I'm still struggling to know my enneagram type. I mostly type 4w5 or 6w5 on tests but also sometimes 5. I can relate to so much of this except for the emotional part. People are often confused how introverted and distant I can be after meeting me for the first time where I am usually warm and friendly. I kind of straddle the two worlds of logical pragmatist scientific and warm, friendly emotional. Any advice on how I can get closer to finding my enneagram type?

[@Hannerloo]

continue to study all types on the enneagram. that has helped me. the more i understand what i'm not, i can determine what and who i am. truly, dig as deep as you can.

[@kimberlyandcoach]

@claytonia1586 Have you done a typing interview or worked with a coach? When I was struggling between a few options, I sat down with a coach and came out of the conversation with so much clarity!

[@zidesce7961]

just a couple of 9s