Biggest Culture Shocks of a German in America (Feli From Germany)

[@datingbeyondborderscast]

Hey everyone - last video was loaded as incomplete, so I re-uploaded the full version! Hope you enjoy 😀 What did you think about the differences in German and American culture? Could you relate? And which do you personally prefer?

[@saksit247]

Not sure how this vid got into my home page but I am glad it did. I was very entertaining.

[@jackdorsey4850]

U.S.A.👍👍

[@jager6863]

My family would always have an open door to friends, school mates and neighbors for the Holidays, especially Christmas. My sister brought a couple of classmates for Christmas to dinner. When we started to open presents, my Mom had wrapped a small gift for each of the guests and put them under the tree. One of the guys started to tear-up, as he couldn't believe we were so thoughtful and welcoming. Service to others is service to self, so I don't get cultures that don't have hospitality, as a tradition.

[@stormmaster108]

German over USA any day. North European is the best for me (particularly Swedish) ❤

[@JonFrumTheFirst]

Small talk: it's not meant to be practical. Small talk is the grease that oils the gears of society. I occasionally see a mailman while out walking. We always say hello, and the short conversations we have in passing generally consist of weather talk, but we both smile when we see each other. It's a quick little human connection during our days. And we're both better off for knowing that theres' another person out there who recognizes us and is pleased to see us. We don't know each other's names, and don't need to. I know that he's a nice guy, and I hope he knows the same of me. That's all that's needed.

[@sesam.koernchen]

As a German and a very introverted person small talk absolutely terrifies me! I don‘t know what to say and what to ask because the topics are so mundane and unimportant to me. 😅 Though I have to say that it definitely makes you feel at ease in certain social situations. I once visited London for a few days and I really liked that the airport staff would ask how I was doing and what I came to London for etc. I only enjoyed this though, I think, because I only had to answer and didn’t feel like I had to ask anything back. For comparison purposes, German airport staff will only say hello and goodbye and there will be silence while they look through your bag or check your passport or whatever unless they have an important question. It was a much more positive type of small talk compared to German small talk as well. Germans (in my experience) usually like to complain during small talk (e.g. „Ugh it‘s been so rainy and cold the past few days, hasn’t it?“ „Oh, the prices for … went up again, everything is so expensive these days.“ „Oh dear, my back is aching horribly these days!“ (elderly people).) Aside from me being incredibly stressed out by talking to strangers, it definitely was a lot easier to answer to small talk in England than in Germany. The British people were happy to, or at least made it seem like they were, talk to you in a friendly way. Germans mostly will start complaining and when you stop asking questions they rarely try to keep the conversation going. It‘s often a very one sided thing were one person will try a lot more to keep the conversation going. There‘s also generally not a big feeling of community in Germany. It‘s not rare to not know your neighbours at all. You often don’t know their names and only say hello when you meet in the stairwell. When you move into an apartment or house there (usually) won’t be anyone coming over to welcome you or introduce themselves. (I have to add that I am from northern Germany and supposedly we are even more distanced than southern and central (east + west) Germans. 😅)

[@aprilgeneric8027]

well, back when used to be able to drink on the job there wasn't need for small talk but this isn't germany. it's america and women ruined everything.

[@hurmur9528]

But why the small talk? I do not get it. You just can say hello and smile instead. That is what you are after anyhow? Small talk just make it less sincere to me.

[@anastasia10017]

@@hurmur9528 because in the useless small talk, you get a feeling for the person from how they speak, their accent, their sense of humor. You are acknowledging their existence as a human being. In a way it is similar to the French attitude ---, the French consider it an insult if you do not say Bonjour to them, because they see that as you ignoring their egalite and their humanity. So Americans use small talk instead of Bonjour.

[@Westpark16]

​@sesam.koernchen IF you came to USA you would adapt. I do roll my eyes when Europeans say we are fake. MOST Americans are NOT fake at all Quite tge opposite. I JUST bought a house. LITERALLY 20 neighbors over the course of two weeks came by...three brought me cakes and cookies All of them waved from sidewalk Complimented me on how great my remodel was. SO CoOL Seriously. People here celebrate achievements we honestly take great interest in others interest. Our neighborhoods are great You will get help. This idea it's dangerous ? Yes we have our problems But 99% people here are great ❤

[@americanexpat8792]

I've been in 40 countries in my life, done work in 25 of them, and lived as an expat in Saudi and Ireland as an Irish citizen. Americans are the most pragmatic people to ever walk the planet. It's tied into capitalism, having to conquer a wide open land, and the general sense of freedom. Europeans are much more constrained in their thinking. For example, here in Ireland the society is fracturing because they can't build a fricking house. As an American, I'm ready to grab the bull by horns by the hand and just start trying things. These people are just sitting about and doing absolutely nothing. Drives me insane. They have more excuses than I have hairs on my head. Americans are the best 'out of the box' thinkers in world history. Whenever I have a difficult problem, I always want an American on my team. (However, I should note that I always wanted a German on my team when solving difficult problems, because their technical abilities are second to none.) There's no penalty in America to saying, "What if we try XYZ?' In the rest of the world, there is the tall poppy syndrome, and they are literally just afraid to bring up ideas for fear of being wrong. Dealt with it so many times in my career. Plus, there's no problem with a subordinate suggesting something to solve a problem in an American setting. In many parts of the world, if it doesn't come from the boss, or appear that way, the idea gets crushed. Not in America. We live to solve problems. Whose idea it was is far less important. This explains why most people use American technology.

[@orangeandblackattack]

My great grandfathers came from Ireland and I love Visiting my ancestor's country (not N Ireland until limies get out) but I dont think I could live there for your reasons..and its too bad..I would go back maybe 70 years ago though. lol

[@agneag]

But at least europeans dont die out of burnout!! Never happends here and often in Us

[@americanexpat8792]

@@agneag Agreed.! That's why I became an Irish citizen and now live in Kinsale, County Cork, Ireland.

[@zz-uq2ow]

@@agneag Eh Brits do

[@zz-uq2ow]

I think a lot of that is common in English countries generally even in like Canada or the UK but yea America takes it to the next level

[@edschultheis9537]

One good thing about living the US is that there is not a stigma for trying something and ultimately failing at it. Use it as a learning experience. There is more of a stigma for not dusting yourself off and trying again at something else. Quitting, just because you failed at something, is not admired.

[@vattenflick]

Yes, exactly. You don't fail in the U.S. until you stop trying.

[@sandragallo2283]

@@edschultheis9537 never quit

[@FatherMarty]

The culture of hospitality in the Middle Eastern and Eastern Mediterranean cultures is huge. In the old days, hospitality wasn't just "nice to do" but involved basic survival. Travelers had little to no sources for food, and escape from the heat. That culture continues today. It wasn't about showing off, as much as it was about expressing how much the guest was valued.

[@stoloc1]

I'm from WV and the idea that "hospitality is about showing off that you have more than the guest" was hilarious. Growing up on Sunday dinner my family would just cook a huge amount and whoever wanted to show up would show up. Family would bring guests, whoever would stop by was welcome. You weren't showing off you were just showing that no one was a stranger and all were welcome.

[@jager6863]

Growing up in Los Angeles, we have every ethic group and when you visit someone's home from the Middle East, Eastern Europe or most parts of the USA, expect to get offered food and drinks. In some cultures it is very rude to refuse food and drink, so you eat and drink whether you want to or not and say "Thank You" at least three times. We always invite friends and neighbors for food, for no reason, other than we like to cook for them, plus we get to see them and socialize.

[@hamwithcheese586]

I mean, this is everywhere. I’m America this type of hospitality used to be more common as it was needed. Affluence comes with less of this type of inter-dependence, which causes it’s own set of issues.

[@MK-qh8nq]

The thing is in the German speaking world this is highly dependent on where you're located. The North you definitely won't be offered food. In the South and in Austria it's much more likely and it also depends if you're in a city with white collar workers or if you're in the countryside towns/villages. Feli being from Munich, which is a huge city despite being in the South, youll find the people have much more similarties to the rest of Germany, but as soon as you go out to small towns or villages in Bavaria or Austria you will definitely be offered food. I've never seen someone not been offered at least a beer upon a visit but often you'll be offered pastries, bread, a Jause, pickles and whatever else they have in stock.

[@OakwiseBecoming]

These girls didn't seem to know their own history because hospitality was HUGE in old Europe.

[@lendondain1]

I'm from the southeastern U.S., and I was taught that I should walk on the streetside of the sidewalk when walking with a woman. I was told the reason was that danger was more likely to come from the street, and therefore I would always be able to put myself between her and danger.

[@grantnitschke9794]

That's an old English custom @lendondain1 The reason was because, back in the days of horse-drawn transport, when all roads were simply dirt roads, if there were any puddles which could be splashed by a passing horse or cart wheels, the man would bear the brunt of the splash, thereby protecting the woman.

[@hajotge12]

That is normal for polite Germans too. You walk on the street side of the sidewalk, you pass pedestrians on the street side of the sidewalk when you are on a bicycle, you pass on the front of the car to be extra-polite and open the door of the car for somebody you drove to his/her home.. Isn't it just being polite?

[@garycamara9955]

Mud from Carages and cars can splash on them. The man is protecting the woman.

[@Medietos]

Also in case she trips and falls, the man is more strongly there to help with his stronger right hand.

[@johnhunt1805]

I think one aspect of US culture which Europeans often overlook, is that, as a largely immigrant nation, we have had to find support in whoever was around us, wherever we found ourselves. We still tend, on the whole, to physically relocate more than do Europeans. We have traditionally needed the support of people we did not know well, and so developed communication skills and social norms which enable and promote that cooperation.

[@Mulmgott]

Germany is the 2nd biggest Immigrant destination in the world. 20% immigrants is a lot. Maybe around 60-70% are purely ethnically German at most.

[@inotoni6148]

There are differences in Europe. In the south of Europe the people are more like the USA. Northern and Eastern Europe is more like Germany

[@MeMe-oh5qj]

Yes, it also makes you less open, more at guard. To me people from the US never show their real face because of that. Only the facade.

[@michaelrmurphy2734]

You have an optimistic view of America. Hopefully that is true, but American values now seem to be about one's own self interest. Not a collective good.

[@johnhunt1805]

@@michaelrmurphy2734 So true, I'm afraid.

[@jbk1496]

I think Feli was generally accurate on with her analysis. As an American who has traveled extensively throughout the world, having visited over 50 countries and lived in Singapore for two years, I have a great appreciation for Europe. Prague is my favorite city, and Germany is one of my favorite countries. However, there are still many places in Europe that I have yet to explore. Someday, I hope to live in Europe, perhaps in Prague, Budapest, or Barcelona. When it comes to dating, I understand her perception. Growing up, my father always taught me to treat a woman special, always pay for the woman, respect her, prioritize her needs, and protect her. I believe that protecting women is a priority over protecting myself. I have never said to a woman that she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, but I have complimented her on her appearance. For example, I might say, "You look very nice," "I love your smile," "I love you in that dress," or "I like how you did your hair this evening." When a guy walks closest to the street, it is to protect a woman. If something bad happens, it is the man's responsibility to protect her. The only thing that I didn't think was accurate was the information about the medical system. Yes, it is expensive, but I have never paid $20K for a hospital operation or stay. When you are going through an insurance statement that is related to medical expenses, it is important to be careful while understanding the stated cost versus the negotiated cost. Many stated costs are inflated and even if you don't have insurance, you won't have to pay the stated cost, as you can get a lower price when you tell them that you do not have insurance. Typically, you wouldn't call an ambulance unless it was a life and death situation. Hospital emergency rooms are not to be used for the flu, unless one has a medical condition that could be life-threatening. In non-life-threatening situations, emergency rooms should be the last option. If your doctor's office is closed and urgent care isn't available, then the emergency room is an option. As a self-employed individual, my health insurance costs $435 per month. I pay $25-$50 for a doctor visit and $5-$10 for drug prescriptions. The most that I will have to pay for medical expenses, medical emergencies, or surgeries in a year is $3000 ($3000 above my monthly insurance premium).

[@michaelcollum3540]

Speaking as an old man who started dating in the 1950s I can tell you that when I arrived to pick-up my date I was met at the front door by her father. He let me know in no uncertain terms what the rules were while in the company of his daughter. He also let me know that any ungentlemanly act would result in him reacting in a like manner. When he was done I knew that his girl would be returned to him in a Safe and Sound'' condition or 'action' would taken. . The reason the man walked on the curb side was to prevent the lady from being harmed by street debris. To allow this to occur would indicate to her father that he had not been alert and not followed his instructions. This was just a lesson that all males (in the south at least) were taught that they were expected to protect females (and children, the elderly and infirm) at all times. This custom, I am sorry to say, has not only been forgotten but is now seen as an insult by some women. These women should realize that a real man protects what he values.

[@Killswitch1411]

They don't like it until they don't have it and women are finding out the hard way. A woman gets assaulted, men may not help. All of this is typical of the girl power we can do anything men can do and be overly patronizing towards men.

[@Westpark16]

❤ from the Midwest same. MANNERS politeness are huge

[@alexandervanlohen4229]

Good times!

[@lendondain1]

The whole dating until exclusivity is declared thing in the U.S. is a relatively new phenomenon, and I think it is tied to the rise of dating websites and apps. The illusion of infinite choice makes people reluctant to commit until they find someone they think is perfect. I'm in my mid-40s, and back when I was dating, it was very rare to be dating multiple people at the same time, and if it was happening, the people we were dating probably didn't know about it, and they would be angry to discover it. If you went on a date with someone, and they wanted to go on a second date, the assumption was that they weren't seeing anyone else.

[@OakwiseBecoming]

Yes this is new. I'm 43 and if you went on more than 2 dates with someone and found out they were going out with others, you'd be very upset by it. It was seen as scummy behavior.

[@nejdro1]

Healthcare can vary according to where you live. In my old town in Illinois, ambulances were a part of the fire department and the trip to the hospital was free. Also, the ambulance was fully equipped with trained first alert health personnel and they were in contact with doctors at the hospital who were already monitoring your vital signs. My town in Illinois was a Sister City to Landkreis Schaumburg, which is just east of Hannover. As a part of our cultural exchanges, we had doctors and nurses come from Schaumburg/Lippe and they were amazed at how good our healthcare facilities were. I will grant that healthcare cost in America can be really high, but if you are insured, they are really great. I am presently retired and under Medicare. The sad part is that Medicare has not been expanded to cover everyone, as it was originally envisioned.

[@whitedragondojo]

Good of you to share this information; my cousin living in the US for over 25 yrs now tells me that the 'health care system' only works for about 1/3 of the populatilon ie: The upper 1/3. The other big element that is clear to all non-US observers is the predatory nature of the American health care system principally because of the for-profit model and the anti-socialist rhetoric that is ever present in American politics; bankruptcy by health care is almost non existent in the developed world except in the US where it is the leading cause of ALL bankruptcy.

[@ArgusStrav]

I think a good amount of what Feli is describing vis-a-vis dating is not just a matter of German vs. American, but also progressive vs. conservative and big city vs. smaller city. Even within the US, it's very different dating in a big city vs. in a smaller city/rural area, and dating among progressives vs. among conservatives. For example: the thing about "dating other people *until* you're exclusive." Some people in the US will do that, especially if you're more progressive/live in a bigger city, but if you're more conservative/live in a smaller city/rural area, it's more expected that you'd simply be exclusive automatically like in Germany. And obviously, the more conservative you are, the more likely you are to believe in "traditional gender roles" and things about the man paying the bill and opening the door for the woman, etc.

[@Winona493]

Wouldn't agree, because as a German I found that the last things you've mentioned are not the case in Germany. German females are very self assure and often do not want the male to pay. Opening the car door for the woman is not a thing here and many more of these things that are named to be conservative. It is often just the opposite of conservative. Even this whole dating game is new for Germans. It took me a while to find out about, because we kind of adopted it from the Americans in the last couple of years. In the past I feel like it was made clear from the beginning wether you are serious or not. If not everything can happen in the first night and you'll never meet again. But if yes you are "together"( we call it like this) from the first kiss on. But I don't know what Feli is going to say about it all. I hope you could understand what I wanted to say for English is my third language and unfortunately I have difficulties in expressing myself. Greetings from the Ruhrgebiet/Germany.

[@Winona493]

Edit: I am curious: can you hear that Feli is German? Better: not American? In my ears she is near to perfection, what do you think?

[@ArgusStrav]

@@Winona493 Ich kann auch Deutsch (Ich bin noch nicht "fließend", aber es reicht.) Deine Frage ist sehr interessant, denn ich habe mir Felis Videos angeschaut, bevor ich angefangen habe, Deutsch zu lernen, und ich schaue mir diese Videos immer noch an. Feli sagt oft, Amerikaner haben keine Beschwerde über ihren Akzent, nur die Deutschen scheinen einen Akzent überhaupt zu bemerken. Und ich stimmte zu: Als ich kein Deutsch konnte, bemerkte ich nichts. Jetzt, dass ich Deutsch lerne, erkenne ich die kleinen Einzelheiten, die verraten, dass Feli Deutsche ist. Aber vorher hätte ich diese Einzelheiten nie bemerkt, es hätte mir sogar schwergefallen zu erkennen, dass Feli eine Ausländerin war.

[@Winona493]

@@ArgusStrav Also wenn Dein Deutsch nicht fließend ist, dann weiß ich es auch nicht. 🤣 Du bist doch (fast, bis auf ein paar klitzekleine Kleinigkeiten) perfekt!!!!

[@ArgusStrav]

@@Winona493 Danke, :D

[@roykay4709]

Quick note on credit vs debit cards: In the US consumer protections are stronger with credit cards and charges are more easily reversed, most notably is cases of fraud or theft.

[@OakwiseBecoming]

Yes, I moved to UK and was shocked to see that if someone has their account compromised that they won't necessarily get their money back.

[@edwardlopez8712]

I enjoyed the video, thanks for sharing. I am German and Spanish American. I really understood where you were coming from talking about both the German and American perspectives on so may topics including wasting food, wasting packaging, etc. My Mom saved everything and said waste not/want not. We reused plastic containers, coffee cans, cookie tins, hand me down clothes from family, etc. We were not quick to buy a new version of anything if the old one was still working. We fixed things that broke - the washer, dryer, plumbing, car, water heaters, etc. My brothers used to pick up old tvs, radios, bicycles they found in the trash and fix them to use for us or give them away to someone who needed one. We also considered donating items to friends, neighbors, charity before throwing away. In regards to food in our American way we had plenty of food at a special occasion or family dinner. We always invited more friends over, sent guests home with leftovers. My parents wanted to share their good fortune with others. They taught me about generosity. I especially think you captured the can do USA spirit. One thing I would like to share is that here in USA and especially in Silicon Valley most people moved here from somewhere else. If you say hey, I am starting this internet business, etc they will say that is great, I have a friend who can help you with this or that. People genuinely understand, want to help, respect what you are trying to do and want you to be successful. They understand because we all have been there in one way or another. Thanks again for the great video.

[@datingbeyondborderscast]

You are very welcome. Thanks for sharing!

[@williamlink4964]

You sound like an American. Reuse, fix, etc.. Yes, some areas Americans are more wasteful but often they are not; and yes, they do like to purchase things new. hey no longer get old tvs, appliances etc to fix as they generally are more expensive to fix than to purchase new. They are no longer designed to be fixable.

[@megremisfamily4music]

I have family from the former GDR and they’ve always been super generous with us when we’ve visited. I was just there recently with my family, and my German relatives made tons of food and we had lots of fun drinks. For Sunday Kaffeezeit, we had about 6 different cakes to choose from. I think my relatives are just super giving individuals and perhaps our historic farming background influenced this large display of generosity.

[@floriankraemer3823]

this is a super interesting topic!! After the downfall of communism, the intelligence files of the GDR were kept by a certain government agency that allowed former GDR citizens insights. I personally know people from East Germany who took this opportunity to find out who has been spying on them for decades: neighbors, relatives, other parents from school, in short: people who would still live in the same neighborhood. I can only imagine what this does to your everyday relations…

[@MK-qh8nq]

It's like this in Bavaria and Austria as well. I think it could boil down to a countryside vs city mentality. Munich (where Feli is from) doesn't represent the rest of the Southern German-speaking world. My family being from Salzkammergut Oberösterreich, I've never seen someone not been offered at least a beer upon a visit and it's very very uncommon that you also wouldn't be offered pastries, bread, a Jause, pickles and whatever else they have in stock.

[@jonasrmb01]

Well it is your family If we Germans have family over of course we are generous too, they're family afterall

[@blocspher4489]

Good discussion by Marina & Feli on the nuances & fissures between American and, more generally, the Central/Northern European ways-of-life. For me, an American-born man, with an Italian father who fought in WW-2 & him having lived through the Great Depression as a teen, I am particularly heartened to hear such a clear insight from a Canadian/Eastern European & a German woman in the early stages of their lives on the topics concerning the likely determinants for the stark differences between the US (today): * and the residual past experiences etched in the zeitgeist of European populous(regardless of class) over the last 90 years of Economic Depressions, military occupation, the overturning of different forms of government, periods of extreme resource scarcity & uncertainty, induced post-war national shame, and a challenge to a country’s identity that comes at the end of such a cataclysmic War, when a ‘cause’ must be assigned. * notable was Feli’s insight of another determinant of frugality encompassing the Northern European need for planning during the more brutal environmental changes during the year, as seasons pass, demanding them to be cognizant of family-resource planning much more-so than one might see in the South. * I would just add 2 orthogonal thoughts concerning another determinant of the differences between US & European cultures TODAY. Once again, a reason borne of environmental necessity - ie., the Atlantic Ocean spans { > 4,500km } between the continents, allowing the US entrance into WW-2 to be accorded with the freedom of a strategic timing of their choosing(barring Pearl Harbor). This is due to the relative remoteness of the States in 1941. Secondly, as Feli alluded to, the US is as large, or larger than the EU, with many partially undeveloped areas, all under one government. * lastly, arguably, TODAY, not 1941, the US deals with many problems, unsustainable National & Family Debt Levels borne of decades of American’s subscription to the ‘throw-away’ culture, excessive spending exuberance, sustainable-thinking, and loose with their personal finances-unfortunately, it is not a cynical view to recognize that the hour is coming when many Americans’ current lifestyle will come to a sudden halt. About this, Americans will learn what the European’s learned the hard way, some 85 years ago.

[@Skyl3t0n]

Well I've been born and living in Germany all my life but both of my parents are from Croatia. I have to kinda disagree with the hospitality thing. Yes, my parents and southern/eastern europeans are very over the top with hospitality and are literally fattening you 😂 Germans are very hospitable as well I feel like but in a different way. Like the "kid not being allowed to eat with the other family" story is an exageration. As I said i grew up here and this never happened. You were always invited to join the meal. The difference is, you weren't "forced" to, as in it wasn't rude to decline. Eastern/ southern europeans kinda feel it's rude to not to accept every act of hospitality whereas in Germany, accepting that is considered hospitality in and of itself. But it also works from the other perspective. If you randomly show up somewhere and they don't have food prepared for you, it's not considered rude if you don't get to eat with them. They didn't prepare nothing because they hate you, no they would have loved to, but the usualy response is "if you wanted some food you should have said so earlier and not when they foods already on the table" . If they plan a meal for 5 people they make food for 5 people, since they don't like wasting. They do love treating you, but they need to know beforehand. I guess germans have a lot less "spontaneous" hospitality I conclude

[@karinland8533]

You are right there! In a lot of families they take pride in cooking exactly as much as is needed. And others told me: If there isn‘t some food left it means some one stayed hungry. And I think that is a aftermath of hardship, maybe because of WW II

[@Mulmgott]

The not eating at the other kids family happens here though. I experienced it which as an Albanian was insane to me. But it is very rare tbh.

[@lawrenceedger292]

I’m the age of Feli’s parents but I love her channel! Great interview!!

[@datingbeyondborderscast]

Happy to hear! She was such a wonderful guest to have on

[@Crash-549-vh1]

Its better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you’re not

[@teresareviewsitall3613]

I have lived in tx my whole life and my dating experience is completely different from Feli’s. No ghosting. I was never told not to talk to other guys when i went to a party with a date or bf. Also, didn’t generally experience jealousy unless someone did act shady.

[@jjboyd01]

you keep in contact with everyone you've met?

[@kenito2050]

Thanks for this video. I very much enjoy Feli From Germany as it has a lot of insights on what living in America is like for Ex Pats. My wife is from Mexico and, like Feli, faced many challenges when she first came to this country. Thanks again.

[@arellartur]

Love the pragmatism of @FelifromGermany. Also how clear, humble and respectful she is. Nice interview 👌😌

[@Herzschreiber]

About the "furnished or unfurnished" topic: As a German I purchased my first own kitchen when I was in my 50ies. Up to that time I've always had rentals with an included kitchen. It is a question of where and when. I was born in 1961 and at that time most rentals had a kitchen included, owned by the landlord. Over the time it became less, but today it often depends on the region you are in. In the area of the town I was born in, still today at least 50% of rentals have an included kitchen, whereas the area where I am currently living it is only 5 - 10% and you have to be very lucky to find an apartment with a kitchen included.

[@umutkarzai9190]

Hello Ladies, I would agree with you about the health care. I am an American living in Mexico where health care isn't treated as a right, but the way the government does health care it is in practical terms a right. As far as German or European ways of doing things I find the European over taxing and over regulating very restrictive. I believe that is the biggest difference between Europe and America and Canada we see the sunny side of things while Europeans are much more restrictive and pessimistic about the future. You said it Feli you'd probably never would have bought a house in Germany or started your KZbin channel. Americans fail they pick themslves up and they try again!! Even with the healthcare problem I'll take the way people in the Western Hemisphere act over the straight jacket that is Europe!! Here in Mexico people start businesses out of their houses they do things even more freely than in the U.S. The western hemisphere is very much anti- government and more free than Europe. Thanks to both of you ladies for such a great video.

[@oneuncledon]

I am a 78 year old US man and I subscribe to Feli's channel. I've always found her content to be very interesting. I also subscribe Ask Japanese which is a channel featuring a German woman, Cathy Cat, who has been living in Japan for 10 years. She also has a different take on the differences between Germany, Japan, and the UK.

[@nejdro1]

Just as Germans who came through the Second World War tend to be frugal, so were the generation of Americans who lived through the Great Depression also frugal. Hard times cause frugality!

[@janhertzberg1797]

Love the discussion on food waste. In the USA, we waste a lot of food.

[@davidwilkins5932]

Yes, we probably waste enough food to feed most of the world’s hungry population. But then, world hunger has never been an absolute matter of availability, but a tool of politics and power.

[@LucasFernandez-fk8se]

@@davidwilkins5932it’s not “power”. Americans make the food. The starving people don’t make food they just procreate too much. They shouldn’t have children they can’t feed. It’s a matter of personal responsibility. If your country doesn’t manufacture goods, make food or create intellectual property than you shouldn’t breed much. But for some reason the dumb countries breed more than the economically productive countries 🤷‍♂️. I support people having big families but not if you can’t take care of them and give them what they need to live.

[@agates9383]

Ive been all over the world, Americans are generally myopic and uninterested in the happenings of the rest of the world unless it affects them directly. However, once Americans travel abroad this seems to change for the better. I agree with these gals, most Americans have the "I can do anything" optimism that is unique to the U.S. generally speaking and we are honestly more open and friendly than most countries I have visited, not to say we don't have a lot of our own unique problems but there is no place else on the planet I would rather live and raise my family and I will die here.

[@williamlink4964]

Yes, Americans are also tend to be more trusting until someone shows they are untrustworthy. There business model depends on trustworthy behavior between people. Makes them somewhat suseptible to being taken advantage of.

[@nikiyoussef55]

​@@williamlink4964but i have heard many saying people in America are distrussful of each other maybe only those who are from same race like each other or those who share political views

[@Justice55339h]

​@@williamlink4964well love has risks, but we believe in love♡

[@Justice55339h]

​@@nikiyoussef55politics has been divided and that is the main reason there is now more distrust between races because of political nonsense stirred up in mainstream media recently

[@nikiyoussef55]

@@Justice55339h that is sad the media is evil and harming the country

[@roxxanne.adventures]

Im from Slovakia, which is just a few hours east of Germany, and here we defiently also have the mentality of not throwing away any food, thats like something you NEVER do, unless its old or rotten ofc. It definetly comes from the war, and not having enough food. Interesting that family eating together while the friends wait in the other room while we finish.....i thought that was just our weird family, and now i learned we are not the exception :d I will definetly not do that, when i have children though :d Germany for us here have always been a country far ahead of us, in the recycling and the cleanliness of the country, which we looked up to as children in school. Very nice converstion, i enjjoyed it very much thank you

[@ProfBridge]

I met a woman at a party whose brother was a test pilot. He worked with some German test pilots. The German's would not take the plane up for a test flight until it was perfect, the American test pilot would take it up even if it was not exactly perfect. Maybe this means the Germans are sane and the American are not so sane, but this is a clear difference in culture, Americans are risk takers.

[@realgeorge]

Wow, this interview was constantly interesting and both of you are quite insightful and expressive. Excellent job! And, even though I am an America, that is not an over-the-top complement. :-)

[@datingbeyondborderscast]

Thank you!

[@williamlink4964]

Yes, thank you. Is very interesting but is obviously made through the prospective of someone not knowledgeble in U.S. culture. It is through the lense of a foriegn person who does not understand the reasons.

[@SL-vy8ue]

I have a part time job at a department store. I have discovered that a little bit of friendliness and empathy can be very meaningful: the woman who was recovering from cancer and whose daughter had breast cancer; the woman who was having a bad day and almost broke down crying at checkout - the next customer paid for her purchase, and the crying woman gave me a hug. Don’t discount being friendly to strangers. The European mindset is…weird.

[@Pinkfong2]

I’ve never met you Feli but I knew you were intelligent from the get go. So refreshing. I’m a little older and want to tell you to enjoy your boyfriend’s small little niceties in life, like walking on the curb side. Our history is we come from a rugged country and it was hard for women so it’s ingrained in us. You will understand when you get older. Relax and enjoy someone being protective of you. Some of our over-the-top traits may come from the fact we were raised on movies. But it is genuine.

[@jenmolly8794]

Hi Guys ! If you need health insurance usually contact your state usually has an affordable health insurance based on income. Also.. Christian care insurance is very reasonable $300 a month. When you pay cash you need to tell your Dr and they will negotiate a better price. You would be amazed how much higher bills are when “someone else is paying “. Insurance company middle men

[@Agg1E91]

Feli reminds me a lot of a german girl who stayed with us in Texas for 6 months when she was in high school. Her use of American English was not just vocabularily (?) advanced but she integrated, and used properly, a lot of colloquial slang and other expressions. Like Feli, her personality was not "german". And she was very aware of that. Even before she came to the US (as a late 15 YO, I might add). Being younger then Feli, she did have to return to Germany, complete high school, and begin college. But then she decided to do charity work in Australia, followed by time in Thailand, Indonesia and New Zealand. Most times picking up odd jobs to provide temporary support and living in cars near the end. She loved all of it. Somehow she wound up in Colombia (she's very good at picking up languages) right around the time Corona was getting to be problem and could not return to Germany from there, but had about a week window where she could fly to Chicago. Through her earlier travels she knew some people in Missouri and stayed there for a number of months until she could return home. As someone born and raised in a village of maybe 500 people, she is definitely the local "wild child" Unlike Feli, she will begin working in Germany soon as part of her career. I think because she did go so many places around the world, mostly on her own, she didn't lock in to America as being her desired destination. As she enters her mid-20s it will be interesting to see if she adopts more the German order and duty or continues to find opportunities to go other places, as the whim strikes her.

[@Allfunandgames23]

The car door and holding the door for the female is old school gentleman etiquette. Has nothing to do about weaker or anything. It's out of, respect and politeness. Miss the old good times and I'm in my fifties. Luv your conversation.Luv hearing differences around the world.😊

[@Killswitch1411]

Idk why woman have to make it known and basically tell men, don't be men. We mold you into what we want now.

[@iPhonesuechtler]

1:30:00 don’t agree the Americans had to start with nothing. They came over with wealth of knowledge and crucial tools of Europe, and then sh*t on us. On the other hand I agree that most people here are sadly very blindly just bashing American culture, leaving out the positive. It seems like it is too hard for the majority of people to look deep enough to appreciate todays versions of our and each others countries. I love America and Europe. I love Americans that understand the value of their country, their privileges, but also rights and responsibilities. Same for the European.

[@laurao8099]

I think a lot of this including the making large amounts of food has to do with the fact that Americans were taught to be extremely grateful for living in a free country and for having all the opportunities we have and being grateful and appreciating the fact that we have so much and we can always have something to give especially to those who need it has been a huge part of are living for at least quite a few decades now . A lot of the time people offer for people to eat their house because other families may be struggling and not have much food at the time and since there is no way to bring that up we tend to insist that they eat with us unless they choose not to

[@KTKacer]

I found it fascinating I'm subscribed to Feli's channel on KZbin, this just popped up after a video I was mainly6 listening to while also playing a game on the computer so when it came on, I recognized DFeli's voice & just went w/ it, so glad I did, great ep to both of you!

[@datingbeyondborderscast]

Happy to hear! 😌

[@JonFrumTheFirst]

When I visited relatives in Sweden, we drove to a resort island on the coast, and there was a long line of traffic waiting for the ferry. A young girl 5 or 6 got out of the car in front of us, went off the side of the road, and squatted down to urinate. I told my cousins that they would never see that in the United States. A child needing to urinate, and trapped in traffic, makes sense to just do it, but in 69 years, I've never seen in happen. I suspect parents would tell her to either hold it or pee her pants.

[@markdecker6190]

Re: German frugality, my German mother would discard stuff if it wasn't going to be used anymore. She once threw out a perfectly good color TV when I could have used it without asking me first and I sort of chastised her for it. From that point on she'd check with me before throwing out anything of significance. I inherited that desire to fix things rather than replace. Your thoughts on relationships were quite interesting and enlightening. I'm older so have been out of the dating scene for like forever but my impression of American men, and of course your mileage may vary depending on where in this huge diverse country you are, are simply put just chicken-shit. When you operated from a base of fear you'll never progress beyond your fears. The other thing is that while most may have at least heard of the Golden Rule, they don't live it. A very interesting conversation between you both, thank you!

[@WeldorLife]

the host says she was in sauna nude and end up being in there with one man but it wasn't sexual (in her opinion) due to the fact that he was older? This is interesting? Pablo Picasso , just to name a well known person, was having kids when he was old and that required sex. But is the host saying that it wasn't sexual because she's not attracted to older men? ____ and by the way, yes, most people do understand , and i agree with the host "what's the point" i.e. nude volleyball: it definately is sexually motivated, i mean, how could it not be?

[@johnvonsauers8867]

great interview with Feli,❤❤ she is one of my favorite KZbin Ladies,

[@williamlink4964]

Hear, hear; though Feli is rather naive of U.S. culture and expresses things as if she is knowledeable in it. It is from the perspective of a naive European. But she is very interesting to watch.

[@garyr8739]

I am a 69 (male) and my parents had me (and other young kids too) running around nude until I was about 4 - at the lake when we went and no one seemed to care. But sometime during my life that all changed in the USA. Somehow it all became sexual. I remember many years ago, before instant cameras, that a mother was arrested for trying to get film developed of her young daughter nude and they called it child pornography. But there was no sex involved, just nudity. Even my parents had an old photo of me when I was about 3 running around nude at a family picnic. They would be arrested now for that. Someone (religions maybe?) decided that ALL nudity was sexual. Don't get me wrong, there is child sexual abuse going on, but that does not make ALL nudity sexual. Everything needs to have SOME common sense attached to it.

[@danipianoarts]

Nice conversation and interesting to listen to. As a German I think that the frugal lifestyle is also routed in the past, as even before the world wars there have been wars and conflicts and times of poverty, and food has always been something that people would value and not waste. But I agree that WW2 had a major impact on our grandparents' and even our todays generation and that we try to not live a too boastful or wasteful lifestyle. Regarding the dating culture I personally disagree with Feli as I would atteibute the fear of commitment rather to the German than to the American mentality. I know what she means, but I think that if people move together without the goal to marry one day and split up after a few years and repeat that cycle all over again, this actually reflects a mindset of non-commitment. This nowadays quite typical way of living in a relationship is a more modern thing and definitely not the norm in my grandparents' generation. I think it has a lot to do with less popularity of religion and marriage and rise of atheism as well as the "revolution" of the 69s. There are conservatives in Germany as well but not as much as in American society. However, it's a nice interview and I like listening to Feli as she is a great observer.

[@OakwiseBecoming]

Well I'm a conservative American Pagan and anyone I have ever dated was always with the hope of marriage on my end, and even stayed too long in a bad relationship because I wanted a traditional family. My grandparents and great grandparents were NOT religious and they had lifelong happy marriages. On the other side, the grandparents were Catholic and had a bad marriage and divorce. My parents were evangelical Christians and their marriage was volatile and ended up in a chaotic divorce that ruined the lives of all of us and really screwed everyone up. Finally in my mid 30s I met another conservative Pagan man in the UK and now I'm 43 and have a harmonious happy marriage. I don't think religion has anything to do with it. But society is crumbling for other reasons. Mostly to do with cultural Marxism and multiculturalism.

[@blafonovision4342]

I’m 53, and from the Midwest. I’ve been in a relationship with my wife since 1997. So I’ve been out of the dating market for a long time. My experience dating was absolutely nothing like this. There was no “ghosting.” WTF has happened in the USA?

[@tonyfc8809]

Thank feminism and the "sexual revolution"

[@kasauerkrautimgulasch]

Not a US a Thing, its more a western Thing...

[@edwardcrone2465]

These new generations have more time to make up new terms. I dated probably twenty people over forty years ago. One lasted the last 44 years with two children. The others just ended, no real break ups, just ended some times we just drifted apart sometimes mutual some times not.

[@karinland8533]

Considering being in debt, using credit cards and how the flat comes with out furniture it is different in Germany because the laws are different as well. It is not easy to get a loan from the bank, the debt from your will be taken from you bank by account at the end of the month and the land lord doesn’t have to provide a kitchen, so there often is non. If they provide a kitchen they are responsible if there is a problem with it. They just don’t want that hassle

[@lanarkorras4411]

Very much agree on the subject of small-talk. Just because people are used to behaving a certain way towards each other doesn't mean other ways are less meaningful just because they are for you within your limited, subjective set of rules.

[@Sycokay]

Why Germans or Northern Europeans are frugal? Because...winter is coming. For centuries, it was "get your shit together in summer, or you die in winter".

[@lynda2450]

Regarding ambulances… I often hear that people won’t call for an ambulance because it’s expensive and although I’m sure that’s true, I think another important reason Americans hesitate to call for one and should hesitate is because when we were taught that calling 911 is only for life threatening emergencies, they meant it. Ive never thought about how expensive it’s going to be when considering calling an ambulance, I’ve thought about whether or not the injury is serious enough that I or someone else nearby can’t transport the injured person to a medical facility without further injury so that we don’t hold up an ambulance from someone who really needs it. This also applies to the ER and was hammered into me as a child. An ambulance and the ER are for people who are on deaths door or need immediate surgery. I suspect, this also may be why it’s expensive to be delivered to the ER in an ambulance for less serious injuries and insurance companies often won’t cover it. It’s a financial penalty for using the service for something it is not meant to be used for or abusing it. I know for a fact that one of the prerequisites for my insurance to kick in to cover an ambulance transport is 24 hours in the hospital… meaning my injuries or ailments were severe enough to warrant overnight care and inevitably the ambulance delivery. That seems reasonable to me. It may seem brutal and it is, but it’s a way to deter people from using these vital, lifesaving and often short staffed services for things that are not as serious in the big scheme of things. Now I know that hospitals are nickeling and diming us and have progressively gotten more greedy… same for Big Pharma and I also realize that some people won’t have an friend or family member who can step away to help them, but I think this is the way our system works if you can read between the lines. I can respect that to be honest and think people should be deterred from calling an ambulance for a broken bone or torn ligament because they may be taking that ambulance away from a 4 car pile up where someone’s face went through the windshield, 2 people are unconscious and 1 has a potential brain bleed. People unfortunately don’t understand this or respect the system for how it is and learn the hard way when they receive the bill and insurance won’t cover it.

[@ronaldlovett1814]

I’m from Kentucky and we usually invite people to seat in the kitchen and feed them while having a conversation

[@ESUSAMEX]

I am an American originally from New York with a German background. My Opa came from Germany and moved to the US as a boy. I understand the not liking small talk and being very blunt. New York City is a place with very blunt people and we do not talk to people on the street unless we need directions or the time. Ghosting is something which is common with people under 40 or so. I am a Gen Xer and ghosting is considered very rude and disrespectful with everyone I know. My friends would really castigate me for ghosting someone. I would not be considered a real man among my friends and family. In fact, it is wrong to even text someone while breaking up. You either call, or, even better, you tell the person to their face. Feli's story about the guy leaving the middle of night is utterly disgusting. My family and friends would disown me for walking out at night like that.

[@jimmyryan5880]

The guy walking on the outside of the footpath is also a thing in Ireland, at least where I was raised. I was told its in case a car splashes you.

[@emiliajojo5703]

I hate it so much when I have to throw away food.makes me so uncomfortable.

[@Big-O43]

First most if not all insurances cover ambulance rides, and most emergency rooms, you have a co-pay with your insurance, which is not that high. I have never paid a lot of money out of pocket for the surgeries I have had. Many Canadians come to the USA for doctors, because it can take a year or more in Canada to see one. A lot of false or mis-informed information was provided

[@unconventionalideas5683]

The problem is it varies enormously.

[@bremexperience]

I would have been interested in hearing about personal space. I'm from french canada and married an anglo from western Canada, and even being from the same country, there were noticeable differences in the way we deal with what is considered "personal space" the distance at which we talk, closing doors, personal space.

[@eschiedler]

As an American dated a woman that grew up in the GDR near Dresden, it seemed it would be a perfect match we had so much in common but then in the end yeah, not really.

[@eknuds]

I’m a Gen Xer. My attitudes about finance and waste are close to yours. I actually own everything I own, but I also think that I was raised a lot more conservatively than someone from LA might have been. I grew up in a village in one of the northern Great Lakes states.

[@George-ux6zz]

We do have our problems in the US. If you ask someone out or break up with someone you can get fired. If you ask someone out and the don't like you it can be considered sexual harassment and grounds to be fired. Also if you break up with someone from work the girl says she can't work there if he remains there and he can get fired. Either way it can effect future employment.

[@ProfBridge]

I have never heard of the term ghosting, so thank you for educating me. Yes, as an American, I know that American's don't like conflict or painful truthfulness. Brad

[@marypatpeterson1963]

Great conversation. Very insightful. Ghosting needs to be abolished. I hope people think before they do it. Communication is very important and the way you present conflict is important. We need to give grace. Thanks ladies for your videos. Really great. Meaning. Many blessings on your journey♥️

[@dougbyrd1970]

I think, in America, living with a lot of debt may be a generational thing. I am older and have lived in Germany when I was younger (Perlacher Forst, Munich) but don't like paying off credit card debt which is expensive. I couldn't afford to pay a lot for the university because my parents had a lot of kids so I was on my own for higher education.. I couldn't afford a high level university so I worked hard and graduated from West Point which only came with a price of spending a minimum of five years as an army officer. Now we buy our cars with cash but our homes with a mortgage. My wife is Russian and grew up in the Soviet Union so we know how to work hard and live pretty well without getting into a lot of debt. Nice to hear about other countries' perspective about American culture. Incidentally, when we first got engaged, my wife and I met in Munich and spent a lovely time in one of my favorite areas from my child hood.

[@Jack-cx6xv]

Your elocution is so good Feli. I understood everything you said.

[@kbbarton1]

I think the guy walking on the outside of the sidewalk towards the street has more to do with safety than with stopping the girl getting splashed/dirty. I have always walked on the street side because it would give me a better view of the street and any approaching danger, such as a car blowing through a stop sign on a road we are about to cross, or driving dangerously or something.

[@shawnpwatsons1]

The interesting discussion would be to understand "WHY" Americans have such a friendly demeanor that is perceived as "fake". First of all, the wealth, wide-open spaces, unlimited natural resources, incredible opportunity, no real adverse close neighbor countries that may war with you, a new young country with a completely new idea of Democracy and a balance of power, etc. The optimism Americans have comes from hundreds of years of all this. In Europe, eveyone lives close together. Neighboring countries might attack you. Resources are scarce and other countries has always competed for them. Everyone speaks a different language in Europe. Europeans need to have strong boundaries and there is this wary eye. There is more distrust, scepticism, cynisism, etc. Think for a second "WHY" Americans have this friendly, optimistic, open, demeanor and attitude. It's not a mistake. It's not just culture. There is a REASON why people are the way they are. That is what is interesting to discuss. The differences are "X" and the reasons are "Y". Perhaps you'd need to be a professional sociologiest to discuss this in depth.

[@sindbad8411]

It seems to me reasons for Americans being open and friendly are pretty obvious. Your families arrived in a huge open land with many many other newbies, so to speak. It was in everyone's best interest to be open and friendly even they only wanted to survive and much more so if they were an ambitious type person. Everything grew and expanded constantly providing endless opportunities. To take advantage of whatever appealed to you you had to know about it hence in times way before any kind of modern media you'd better be friendly with others to find out. I guess it's not so easy to fully grasp how societies worked 100 years ago or so. We often judge forgetting that we are looking through modern eyes. In the late 19th and early 20th century the American economy thrived incredibly. Many enterprises didn't really needed banks and financing. Cash flow was constantly high and sufficient to prosper and grow. October 29 was huge, because a crash from high up is not only painful but shakes fundamental beliefs. it's often overlooked that the consequences for Weimar Germany were devastating. In early 1930 about 6 million were unemployed. One job did provide for 4-5 people, meaning at the end 1930, roughly half the German population of 60 millions was facing starvation.And, as far as I remember the NSDAP was still relatively small I think even in 1932 only receiving votes of around 5% or so at the federal elections. At that time American banks already withdrew all financing of the German economy back home which was another big blow.

[@lost_espandrillo]

Food frugality: As an Austrian I´d like to add that it always hits me hard when in US TV series the joke is to throw food at each other. Because of the reasons you mentioned it´s not funny at all in mey opinion. But finally I can thank you both for this terrific discussion. Realy great!!!

[@George-ux6zz]

I've been listening to Feli quite a while, from the US

[@sabrinalaouie]

Love it! Thanks for sharing ✨

[@datingbeyondborderscast]

Happy you liked!

[@kelk2455]

Very interesting comparisons regarding cultural norms. I do want to make a point regarding the Iraqi friend story and the comment about people perhaps putting out a lot to show off that they have more. Being an American married to a Middle Eastern person the last 30 years, I have to come to understand the deep connection that hospitality and food have in showing a guest care and welcoming in a Middle Eastern home. It is definitely not to show off, but rather to show the utmost respect and love to the guests. The food is often very difficult to make as compared to American dishes and they will prepare many types and work very hard in preparation. But, they also do not waste food as much as we do. Every bit will be eaten over the course of the rest of the week, frozen for later, etc. I have heard many jokes from the young people in Middle Eastern families about having to eat all those dishes the rest of the week. Cultural perspective is so interesting and I appreciate getting a glimpse into your experiences.

[@philipdamask2279]

We are 82 and left overs are part of life. A big hot dish can last a week for two.

[@George-ux6zz]

I agree! I've got friends that are you tubers and I always promote their channel. If I can help them expand I'll do it. I've actually told people about your KZbin channel Feli. I'm sure a few of your followers came from me. I already shared this video with friends.

[@LucasFernandez-fk8se]

Ngl the idea that you’d be at a friends house and they wouldn’t feed you is so effing rude 🤦‍♂️. Like growing up we were always at our friends houses and they were always at our home. Even our friends whose parents had shitty dinners fed us (albeit they didn’t eat very much or feed their kids very much). Granted my mom always cooked enough food for us to eat 2-3 plates or else we’d have to throw it out or put it in the fridge as leftovers so she was always fine with giving 2-4 extra neighbor kids a big helping of food. But yeah I can’t imagine going to someone’s house and they tell you to wait in their kids room while they eat. If you’re too poor to feed the poor kid at least let them have dinner with y’all and talk to their friend at the table 🤦‍♂️. The audacity to make an 8 year old sit in a room for 45 minutes alone and sad and hungry is BEYOND RUDE

[@thomaskalbfus2005]

What do you mean? Older men are attracted to young women. If you think they are not attracted to you in a sauna, you are mistaken, not that they will act on it, most don't want to make a scene.

[@brandanwakefield8754]

I’m American. And I don’t like small talk. I understand. It’s pointless. Don’t feel guilty about it.

[@edschultheis9537]

I think that many of the problems that you noted with dating American guys have more to do with the current generation of guys in their 20s - mid-30s. I'm 59 years old. I think that you would find a quite different dating experience if you were dating 15 - 30 years ago. This younger generation seems to be quite different. But as for things like holding the door open, opening the car door, the guy walking on the sidewalk between the traffic and the woman, and paying for dates, these are long-held simple manners for a guy in American culture. These are more common in older generations than with guys in their 20s - mid-30s. I would feel quite uncomfortable not doing those things for a woman I was dating.

[@Justice55339h]

I'm sure a lot of that applies to Europe as well, they also moved away from traditional gender roles (even more so) due to modernity

[@jeffericsson7780]

I enjoyed this comparison as an American , but I like understanding why people look at thing differently.

[@charlesacker9174]

Feli your accent is perfect American English. Like you're not even the general Trans Atlantic accent they teach United Kingdom actors how to do an American Accent. Honestly if i heard you and you said I'm from Ohio i would believe you.

[@BobPenzien]

When dating in the USA, I would say the guy doesn't like rejection as opposed to being confronted.

[@tinyrick6264]

Feli I love your content. I have heard you bring up the American shortcomings several times. It’s true. We have many. I just wanted to touch on a few you mentioned. Many people do claim there is no real human issue with climate change. Especially with older people. Many conservatives do agree the climate maybe changing. The difference is that shutting off sections of the economy which would inevitably hurt those lowest on the economic ladder. Those on the left won’t compromise. Nuclear is the best answer for all our energy production but there are so many hoops to jump through that it would take 15 yrs to get the permits to build. There are many instances like this. Americans are very wasteful. We change our phones every two yrs. I owned my home in Ohio for twenty yrs. I had to replace 7 refrigerators, five washers and I believe one dryer. One was Bosch by the way. You mentioned our healthcare system and you’re correct. Yet American spends the most on health care of any other nation. There are many reasons yet many only have one answer which is to nationalize. There are many reasons Americans resisted this answer. Much of the reason our health care costs so much is Doctors must pay huge amounts to insurance to make sure they don’t go completely broke if they make mistakes. The USA doesn’t negotiate as a country for drugs from the drug makers like other countries. It’s because of the crony capitalistic ways the drug makers hold over the politicians. It’s a money problem. Most of our problems are related to the way our politicians refuse to negotiate with each other. That stopped in the early 2000s. It had been leading up to that point but fully went off the rails around then. Until the great middle throws off the extremes we will continue in grid lock. Most of our problems have been caused by simple issues that now require just a little give and take. I hope my country gets back on track.

[@unconventionalideas5683]

People on the left absolutely believe that nuclear is, while perhaps inadequate on its own, a crucial part of solving climate change; even Greenpeace dropped its opposition to Nuclear Energy during the Trump Administration, and nuclear energy has the support of 74% of Americans.

[@Justice55339h]

Americans are rich, we don't have to be hyper frugal🙃

[@Justice55339h]

Americans are rich, we don't have to be hyper frugal🙃

[@hoathanatos6179]

I'm Canadian but I come from a very old fashioned German family, like 1800s German (My dad's side of the family were Mennonite, like Amish). Being naked around others was normal in my youth, where my parents and grandparents were comfortable without clothing around family, and I would be naked at home regularly. It was local Christians (mostly Evangelicals) who were so opposed to such norms, despite my family being Evangelical as well on my dad's side. Homosexuality seems to be a big influence on North America's male closeness (I'm gay myself), but I have seen so many who were fine with nudity and intimacy with their male friends before the normalization of gay people among men. Women having intimacy among each other is more normalized as lesbianism isn't taken so seriously. In my local dialect, a word for idiot is Duzhnak, meaning debtor originally, but it is a word for idiot because of the view that getting into debt was what idiots did, like what Feli said.

[@billgracey6369]

My mom, whose parents are from Fulda, Hesse, is like that, she questions and judges every thing one does or says. Very little support or approval, always with questioning and disapproval. Climate change is constant, some people are trying to make it out to more than it is to further an agenda of control. I went to beaches and pools in Germany, I never saw any naked people outside the shower rooms which were gender specific. Only saw some topless women sunbathing at the beach, never at a pool. And they covered up when they were done sun bathing. Interesting thing, German man owns nudist camp in Phoenix area which doesnt allow single men.

[@lrebsten7155]

Americans are in debt more because we have student loans, high health care prices and we are brainwashed to use credit cards in lieu of saving - because our country keeps interests rates low to discourage Americans from saving. In the 80’s interests rates were high for checking and savings accounts -9% interest and CD’s were 10-14% and stocks could get you 24% interest. Because people were saving - the WW2 Greatest Generation were running America then. These WW2 Americans remembered the Great Depression and fought in WW2 and remember when food rationing was a thing. In order to reduce inflation America lowered interest rates into the toilet to discourage saving and force Americans to spend. Also, Japan started sending cheap products to the USA - undercutting highly paid USA workers - but the USA did not care because it wanted a spending Economy and not a Savings type economy to lower inflation and grease the Economic wheels. Then China and Taiwan started with cheap goods. Then unemployment started in the USA. Germans are cheap people because they get Healthcare and Education already paid for. Germany has some of the highest taxes in the world - look at how many rich go to jail in Germany for tax evasion. In USA, the taxes are much lower and you have a choice where to spend your money; you are not forced into high Healthcare schemes or Education. Many people choose the least expensive in those areas. The trade off with lower taxes is that the citizen can choose. In Germany, if you do not pass the test for college and do not get in - you are forced to go abroad and pay at a private college. Higher education and Healthcare is rationed in Germany. But if you do not score high enough to get into college; you must pay taxes for someone else to go for free AND pay to go to another country to study, like to the USA. Many Germans studying in the USA were not good enough to get into a free college in Germany so must pay in taxes for others to go for free AND pay for a private University. Americans were saving more than Germans in the 80’s and had very little debt; that’s one of the reasons why inflation was exacerbated when certain Economic triggers occurred. We went from a savings mentality where o a spending mentality in one generation because of Economic Policies. .

[@susieqmartin2746]

I think it depends on what part of the country (USA) you were raised in. My next door neighbor was born and raised in Germany most of my other neighbors were Amish or old order mennonite. So we are very much like Felie’s thinking. We have been frugal wast not want not. We also use the credit card just the way she describes Germans do. This was very interesting thanks for sharing.

[@mbuck5044]

Feli, you're awesome! You're right, why not be kind. # humanity

[@user-qq73hxryby]

I’m American and I’ve lived in the u.s. my whole life, but in the dating discussion you touched on something I’ve always thought was a problem: if you say something that upsets someone, it’s your fault. So people ghost rather than have to upset someone. The issue goes so far that you aren’t allowed to use certain words that are upsetting. For one example, “fat” is a bad word, it was replaced by “obese”, and now apparently even your doctor can’t use that word any more. And then some people decide not to worry about how other people feel, and they think it’s ok to say anything even if it has no purpose but to insult or ridicule. It seems like our culture doesn’t understand being assertive while not being unnecessarily insulting or upsetting.

[@gwenj5419]

I grew up in California with 4 siblings in a poorer home. Definitely have the thing of saving all left over food. My husband only had 1 sibling and was wealthier. I would get so angry with him when we first got married because he would throw out food, especially meat (half a pork chop because he was full.) I finally trained him better. 😂

[@Kevin15301]

One thing I thought about while listening was that we Americans are a melting pot. So, people from many cultures, especially European, have lived side by side and inter-married. So, we have aspects to our personalities that would be very familiar to a German and a Greek. But, I think maybe we have adopted the most practical aspects or the most advantageous traits from all the cultures. Also, I heard all the talk about ghosting, and it can be very annoying and hurtful. However, once you have had that talk with a crazy girl/boy friend, ghosting becomes the best option.

[@worldtraveler2020]

Hi, girls, i am georgian girl living in Berlin ,Germany, lived before in Canada and New York, everything is so tru what you are saying 😅. Regarding "Love bombing" be careful, narcissistic people tend to do so. Greetings

[@thomaskalbfus2005]

For all the nudity in Germany, they don't have a lot of children, so much for going back to nature!

[@russellfisher2853]

A lot of it is not being scared of confrontation. But trying to do the decent thing and not embarrass their ex partners.

[@sebastian-roland]

I THINK NORTHER EUROPE IS VERY DIFFERENT THAN SOUTHERN EUROPE , IM FROM ITALY AND I FIND THE US PRETTY SIMILAR.... IM IN CALIFORNIA THO ...

[@pat1cust2]

My dad, who met and married my mother in England when he was stationed there in the US Air Force in the mid-1950s (i was born in the States after he had returned to civilian life, having brought my mom here), used to tell jokes illustrating the attitude difference between the 2 countries. In fox hunting, for example, the Englishman tells the American "I say, old chap, you're supposed to yell "Tally-Ho!" Not "There goes the little red $%^&&&." Here's another one, which took me a few minutes to remember just now: "When an Englishman walks into a bar, he acts like he owns the place. When an American walks into a bar, he don't give a damn WHO owns the place." In my dad's day, and even still when I first moved to England in 1964 at age 7, with my brother, sister and mom (my parents had split up and I grew up as a Brit in all but passport status), cultural differences between the two Anglo nations were more pronounced. Over the years they have diminished, as I have seen from TV, from my few visits over the decades, and from my phone chats with my sister, who has also visited here on occasion.

[@ronaldlovett1814]

Americans are mobile so the automobile helped us to spread out across the country. Problem is we never allowed for bike and pedestrian traffic. Some city suburbs try to include sidewalks in the subdivisions, but not everywhere. To dangerous to walk the highways because there isn’t an area for people use.

[@MK-qh8nq]

As someone who grew up in America with Austrian background, I think when it comes to offering food to strangers I think there's definitely a difference between North Germany and the South but especially Bavaria/Austria. In addition, I believe theres also a big difference between people who live in cities vs countryside as well. Although in Bavaria, Munich has people that have moved from all over Germany and the culture there I think tends to be more and more like the rest of Germany despite the surrounding area being more traditionally Bairisch. Many kids who grow up in Munich arent able to speak Bairisch anymore either (I think Feli said she cant speak it in one of her videos as well). I dont relate to not being offered food at a strangers house because when I go to my family's region in the countryside of Salzkammergut, Oberösterreich, I cant even go two seconds without being offered beer, pastries, snacks, bread, Jause and many other food items. I have invited friends that lived in Munich to Austria unannounced as well and they were always offered some kind of welcoming treat.

[@christianelitz5162]

I'M FROM GERMANY. WHEN I WAS A CHILD IT WAS PART OF MY EUCATION FROM MY FATHER :" DON' T TAKE A LOAN FOR CARS OR FURNITURE, THE ONLY LOAN YOU CAN TAKE IS FOR A HOUSE." I know the thing about that the man is at the streetside, it because of the fact that it is respectful to let the lady or older once to go on the right side.

[@raderator]

I get 2-5% back on my credit cards and auto pay the balance on the due date. I buy everything with them. My credit score is 810.

[@ramman5784]

We go out to eat. My wife never eats all her food. She brings it home so she came eat it later. It sits in the frig for three days before she throws it away anyway

[@avedurham]

I'm really curious for Feli, if in Germany people don't make small talk, but then at a party you're expected to go talk to people you don't know on your own (rather than being introduced by your boyfriend), how does that work? Those seem to be conflicting points to me.

[@FelifromGermany]

Generally, I'd definitely say that it takes people longer to start talking to each other in Germany. Our favorite small talk topic is the weather 😂 But beyond that, Germans tend to just dive into deeper topics right away. So they might start asking about your job/where you live/where you went to university etc. and then use that topic to dig a little deeper or get political, exchange criticism etc. That's not always the case of course, but I've definitely observed (and know this from myself too) that the more "shallow small talk" about lighthearted topics doesn't take place quite as much as it does in the US.

[@avedurham]

@@FelifromGermany I see. Would you say it's more acceptable/culturally appropriate to participate in small talk with strangers at get togethers designed for things like that--like parties--rather than in other social situations where meeting people is not the "assigned activity?"

[@maxmustermann3285]

Food frugality May be I can add a bit of explanation on food frugality in Germany. As Feli said, there had been a winter of hunger after the war. My Grandma said she frequently remembered that she threw away some food in the years before the war and missed it dearly in that times of hunger and regret it. So my grandparents and my parents as children experienced a bit of hunger. And if you go to bed hungry then you appreciate food the rest of your life. Another point may be even more relevant is the mindset shaped from education. In the 1950ies the girls - classically in charge of the kitchen later - had to take classes in "Hauswirtschaft" (household economy?). There they were tought to plan the food for the family for the next days and buy what is needed. So if you end up with waste and you have to throw things away (i.e. throw money away) then you failed your job and are too stupid to run a household. So if you have to throw things away it always feels like a defeat. I was exaggerating a bit, sure, but I think it made the point clear and better understandable.

[@williamlink4964]

In the U.S. it was called Home Economics or "HomeEc" it was something taught to both women and men but a bit stronger emphisis towards women. One was also taught about household finances, debt management, and budgeting. That is something that has been thrown out of U.S. formal education and if one is to learn it, it would be from your parents. Some teach it to their children and some do not. So over time it becoming less taught or understood.

[@elizabethhowe7670]

In Berlin park on the way to Victory Column there were a couple groups of naked people exercising and they weren't old folks.

[@Allagi22]

Support, empathy, good will, love, words of kindness---THESE are the only things that keep society working. The Idea that isolation, dissociation, coldness, rudeness, unfamiliaris is ever good or ever indeed cultural is madness. Decency, society, morals and culture only exist via humans living in relative peace with one another, and interacting and dealing/helping with one another day to day year to year.