I Watched Every Disney Channel Original Movie

I watched all the DCOMs. I feel stronger.
For access to monthly bonus videos, go to my Patreon: www.patreon.com/bigjoel
You can ALSO go to Nebula! (also gets access to bonus videos): go.nebula.tv/bigjoel/
Edited by @mothcub ⭐️
Thumbnail by Skutch
Piano playing by Kyle
Balatro seed: 2K9H9HN 🤡 Here's the video where I found it, by Roffle Lite! He will explain to you the Seed's Power: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mH-qqZl_f55ld6Msi=4Vn5LJ-O2AQPchi6
**CONTENTS**
00:00 Intro
01:26 Zapped (2014)
04:06 Princess Protection Program (2009)
06:11 The Cheetah Girls (2003)
09:13 Good Luck Charlie, It’s Christmas! (2011)
12:26 Den Brother (2010)
14:19 Can of Worms (1999)
15:13 Miracle in Lane 2 (2000)
18:57 The Even Stevens Movie (2003)
20:17 Don’t Look Under the Bed (1999)
25:01 The Thirteenth Year (1999)
26:04 Smart House (1999)
28:18 Under Wraps (1997)
29:26 Prom Pact (2023)
29:52 Freaky Friday (2018)
31:10 Halloweentown (1998)
33:50 You Lucky Dog (1998)
37:03 Brink! (1998)
39:54 Lemonade Mouth (2011)
41:23 Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire (2000)
44:03 Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior (2006)
46:36 Spin (2021)
49:29 Genius (1999)
54:25 Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension (2011)
55:54 Upside-Down Magic (2020)
59:08 A Ring of Endless Light (2002)
01:01:38 Descendants (2015)
01:04:53 Tru Confessions (2002)
01:11:16 Avalon High (2010)
01:12:39 The Suite Life Movie (2011)
01:14:20 Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century (1999)
01:17:44 Descendants 2 (2017)
01:22:05 The Ultimate Christmas Present (2000)
01:22:57 Minutemen (2008)
01:26:11 Starstruck (2010)
01:30:58 Frenemies (2012)
01:33:26 Invisible Sister (2015)
01:36:44 The Poof Point (2001)
01:39:30 Christmas…Again?! (2021)
01:45:08 Zombies (2018)
01:49:20 Zombies 2 (2020)
01:52:11 Zombies 3 (2022)
01:57:30 Teen Beach Movie (2013)
02:00:53 Eddie’s Million Dollar Cook-Off (2003)
02:03:22 The Luck of the Irish (2001)
02:06:07 Get a Clue (2002)
02:09:00 Rip Girls (2000)
02:11:03 Adventures in Babysitting (2016)
02:15:01 ’Twas the Night (2001)
02:15:40 Geek Charming (2011)
02:19:16 The Color of Friendship (2000)
02:25:36 Descendants 3 (2019)
02:29:23 Tiger Cruise (2004)
02:33:59 Cadet Kelly (2002)
02:37:15 Teen Beach 2 (2015)
02:41:18 Cow Belles (2006)
02:43:28 Go Figure (2005)
02:47:47 Camp Rock (2008)
02:53:44 Quints (2000)
02:56:09 Hatching Pete (2009)
02:58:28 Phantom of the Megaplex (2000)
02:59:58 High School Musical (2006)
03:03:30 High School Musical 2 (2007)
03:04:21 High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008)
03:04:53 Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge (2001)
03:07:05 Motocrossed (2001)
03:10:49 Pixel Perfect (2004)
03:17:02 Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011)
03:19:50 Halloweentown High (2004)
03:23:00 Gotta Kick It Up! (2002)
03:25:18 Stuck in the Suburbs (2004)
03:28:35 You Wish! (2003)
03:31:48 Return to Halloweentown (2006)
03:36:08 The Cheetah Girls 2 (2006)
03:38:30 Girl vs. Monster (2012)
03:40:15 Zenon: The Zequel (2001)
03:43:06 Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie (2009)
03:44:32 The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008)
03:46:12 The Proud Family Movie (2005)
03:49:30 Double Teamed (2002)
03:52:56 Cloud 9 (2014)
03:55:01 Right on Track (2003)
03:57:28 Zenon: Z3 (2004)
04:02:19 Horse Sense (1999)
04:05:21 Life is Ruff (2005)
04:08:46 The Other Me (2000)
04:09:35 Up, Up and Away (2000)
4:10:35 Jump In! (2007)
4:13:18 Under Wraps (2021)
4:16:36 How to Build a Better Boy (2014)
4:20:50 Alley Cats Strike (2000)
4:24:12 Jumping Ship (2001)
4:26:40 Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam (2010)
4:29:34 Stepsister from Planet Weird (2000)
4:35:24 Under Wraps 2 (2022)
4:37:08 Radio Rebel (2012)
4:41:02 Descendants: The Rise of Red (2024)
4:49:16 The Scream Team (2002)
4:52:13 Bad Hair Day (2015) & the rest
(we hit maximum chapters here - see pinned comment!)

[@BigJoel]

*FULL LIST OF CHAPTERS:* 00:00 Intro 01:26 Zapped (2014) 04:06 Princess Protection Program (2009) 06:11 The Cheetah Girls (2003) 09:13 Good Luck Charlie, It’s Christmas! (2011) 12:26 Den Brother (2010) 14:19 Can of Worms (1999) 15:13 Miracle in Lane 2 (2000) 18:57 The Even Stevens Movie (2003) 20:17 Don’t Look Under the Bed (1999) 25:01 The Thirteenth Year (1999) 26:04 Smart House (1999) 28:18 Under Wraps (1997) 29:26 Prom Pact (2023) 29:52 Freaky Friday (2018) 31:10 Halloweentown (1998) 33:50 You Lucky Dog (1998) 37:03 Brink! (1998) 39:54 Lemonade Mouth (2011) 41:23 Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire (2000) 44:03 Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior (2006) 46:36 Spin (2021) 49:29 Genius (1999) 54:25 Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension (2011) 55:54 Upside-Down Magic (2020) 59:08 A Ring of Endless Light (2002) 01:01:38 Descendants (2015) 01:04:53 Tru Confessions (2002) 01:11:16 Avalon High (2010) 01:12:39 The Suite Life Movie (2011) 01:14:20 Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century (1999) 01:17:44 Descendants 2 (2017) 01:22:05 The Ultimate Christmas Present (2000) 01:22:57 Minutemen (2008) 01:26:11 Starstruck (2010) 01:30:58 Frenemies (2012) 01:33:26 Invisible Sister (2015) 01:36:44 The Poof Point (2001) 01:39:30 Christmas…Again?! (2021) 01:45:08 Zombies (2018) 01:49:20 Zombies 2 (2020) 01:52:11 Zombies 3 (2022) 01:57:30 Teen Beach Movie (2013) 02:00:53 Eddie’s Million Dollar Cook-Off (2003) 02:03:22 The Luck of the Irish (2001) 02:06:07 Get a Clue (2002) 02:09:00 Rip Girls (2000) 02:11:03 Adventures in Babysitting (2016) 02:15:01 ’Twas the Night (2001) 02:15:40 Geek Charming (2011) 02:19:16 The Color of Friendship (2000) 02:25:36 Descendants 3 (2019) 02:29:23 Tiger Cruise (2004) 02:33:59 Cadet Kelly (2002) 02:37:15 Teen Beach 2 (2015) 02:41:18 Cow Belles (2006) 02:43:28 Go Figure (2005) 02:47:47 Camp Rock (2008) 02:53:44 Quints (2000) 02:56:09 Hatching Pete (2009) 02:58:28 Phantom of the Megaplex (2000) 02:59:58 High School Musical (2006) 03:03:30 High School Musical 2 (2007) 03:04:21 High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008) 03:04:53 Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge (2001) 03:07:05 Motocrossed (2001) 03:10:49 Pixel Perfect (2004) 03:17:02 Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011) 03:19:50 Halloweentown High (2004) 03:23:00 Gotta Kick It Up! (2002) 03:25:18 Stuck in the Suburbs (2004) 03:28:35 You Wish! (2003) 03:31:48 Return to Halloweentown (2006) 03:36:08 The Cheetah Girls 2 (2006) 03:38:30 Girl vs. Monster (2012) 03:40:15 Zenon: The Zequel (2001) 03:43:06 Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie (2009) 03:44:32 The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008) 03:46:12 The Proud Family Movie (2005) 03:49:30 Double Teamed (2002) 03:52:56 Cloud 9 (2014) 03:55:01 Right on Track (2003) 03:57:28 Zenon: Z3 (2004) 04:02:19 Horse Sense (1999) 04:05:21 Life is Ruff (2005) 04:08:46 The Other Me (2000) 04:09:35 Up, Up and Away (2000) 4:10:35 Jump In! (2007) 4:13:18 Under Wraps (2021) 4:16:36 How to Build a Better Boy (2014) 4:20:50 Alley Cats Strike (2000) 4:24:12 Jumping Ship (2001) 4:26:40 Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam (2010) 4:29:34 Stepsister from Planet Weird (2000) 4:35:24 Under Wraps 2 (2022) 4:37:08 Radio Rebel (2012) 4:41:02 Descendants: The Rise of Red (2024) 4:49:16 The Scream Team (2002) 4:52:13 Bad Hair Day (2015) -- 4:53:34 The Jennie Project (2001) 4:56:23 Dadnapped (2009) 4:59:11 Johnny Tsunami (1999) 5:02:20 Johnny Kapahala: Back on Board (2007) 5:06:50 Now You See It… (2005) 5:10:04 Big City Greens the Movie: Spacecation (2024) 5:16:08 Full-Court Miracle (2003) 5:18:48 Twitches (2005) 5:20:10 Twitches Too (2007) 5:21:45 The Swap (2016) 5:23:31 Buffalo Dreams (2005) 5:24:50 Hounded (2001) 5:25:51 Kim Possible Movie: So the Drama (2005) 5:27:52 Going to the Mat (2004) 5:32:00 Read it and Weep (2006) 5:34:27 Ready to Run (2000) 5:36:04 Tangled: Before Ever After (2017) 5:36:42 Let It Shine (2012) 5:41:04 Kim Possible (2019) 5:43:46 Jett Jackson: The Movie (2000) 5:45:27 The Naughty Nine (2023) 5:49:03 The Slumber Party (2023) 5:52:57 Credits

[@cannonwilson5990]

it appears the last hour of chapters didnt show up on the video itself. Fix this please

[@AllisonJonas95]

⁠@cannonwilson5990 this comment made me laugh out loud. The audacity. The entitlement. Outstanding really. Use the timestamps dude.

[@GabeChapa-q9z]

THANK YOU 🙏

[@nathanwatkins1005]

Waaaaaaahhhhhhh​@cannonwilson5990

[@G_FRE]

BRO LMFAOOOO WHY DIDNT YOU THINK OF THIS BEFORE ITS BEEN A W E E K

[@Hantyumi_3000]

I love that the order of the movies is completely arbitrary, not by year, alphabetical, rating-just chaos.

[@Nortarachanges]

At least he didn’t rate sequels out of order, but yeah. Mostly nonsense ^_^

[@Huntracony]

Not even in the order he watched them as far as I can tell.

[@FullCircleStories]

as god intended

[@dracocrusher]

I was so confused and desperate to figure out why they were in this order. I guess this Joel was just a bit too big for me this time...

[@Sina-dv1eg]

He even changed up the order from the different, also arbitrary order for the Patreon preview. Henry's ways are truly beyond our grasp

[@westernhemlock]

“I think her name is ‘Crunch’ or something” - Big Joel on character named Olivia

[@statistical-cats-sophia]

This part genuinely made me cackle out loud

[@shytendeakatamanoir9740]

I will always remember her name as Crunch.

[@wishingwell_333]

big crunch ??😭

[@ichibvtt0]

this is killing me bro 😭

[@cheddarssalad1230]

New nickname for my niece just dropped.

[@Mr_Mimestamp]

“This movie is borderline racist, its message fails in every way, 8/10.” “I was bored at this part of the movie, 3/10.” perfect video

[@porsche911sbs]

When it comes to movies, being boring is a much worse crime than being offensive.

[@Doomer_Optimist]

​@@porsche911sbs agreed. birth of a nation would be so much more palatable with a bit more action.

[@muticere]

“This might be the greatest movie ever made, 9/10” “I liked this one, it was a fun time, 10/10” I love how the ratings rarely make sense.

[@tw1light666]

tbf, i feel like he said not to take the ratings completely seriously

[@slightlyoffensivedadjokes]

big Joel has a SERIOUS mental block with ratings, and I've grown to love that about him

[@Cesaryeyo]

I love the chaotic rating, I think I've seen "i liked it" "it was okay" and "I hated it" all be followed by 3/10

[@LindsayEllisVids]

I love and respect your opinions so much that I made it far enough into the video to remind you, that it was *off*-broadway, henry. We saw Corbin as Seymour *off* broadway. 3/10. Do better.

[@acehealer4212]

Ah well. That does still sound pretty cool!

[@bip3587]

i will no longer be watching big joel

[@NailTransGayming]

owned by lindsay ellis what a fucking accomplishment for the biggest of joels

[@xletragedyx]

Is Joel's name Henry? I feel deceived

[@figsandoranges]

Yeah i dont like that​@@xletragedyx

[@yugimuto264]

Going from Color of Friendship to Descendants 3 made me laugh out loud, and it's a good parallel considering that's the one where known class traitor Mal says "build the wall".

[@LimeyLassen]

I love the implication that she was actually evil all along and better at it than Maleficent

[@yugimuto264]

@@LimeyLassen We all say we're not going to become our parents.

[@hinasakukimi]

YEAH that gave me such whiplash holy shit 😂😂

[@debrachambers1304]

"Good Luck Charlie, It's Christmas is nothing LIKE White Chicks, sadly" -Big Joel

[@thelastchannelonyoutube]

Someone had to say it

[@ourDreamcatcher]

I really wanted six hours of comparing Disney movies to White Chicks

[@reda-exe]

"ugh. i hate doing the dishes. but it's like, i love soap" is an insane fucking line and i love that the actress couldn't not laugh LMAO

[@GunsExplosivesnStuff]

Please timestamp this bc I already forgot where it was

[@RottieTottieFrottie]

@@GunsExplosivesnStuff its from the movie zombies 01:48:57

[@Gamechamp3000]

You have no idea how long I've waited for a big, Joel kind of person to talk about 30 movies engrained deep in my brain, and then another 90 movies I've never heard of to wash them down

[@TheArcv2]

Also me

[@drago3036]

Gamechamp going into the same rabbit holes as me??? Damn, that's... A vibe

[@justawatchin2]

I've never seen or heard of a single one of these movies and am loving this.

[@rootbourne4454]

Good stuff Miss Champ. I concur.

[@just-mees]

are you admitting to not watching the big joel disney channel video outside of release order miss gamerchamp??? Shame on you patooey

[@noneofyourbusiness4616]

Disappointed every film wasn't compared to "White Chicks."

[@annawallace3383]

I really thought that was going to be a motif but I love that Big Joel keeps us guessing

[@afunnymouth6449]

He'll redo it

[@Victoria42armstrong]

Please release the white chick cut

[@vawaran]

I fucking love White Chicks one of the best films of all time

[@HauntFreak13]

I need to rewatch that one. It’s been years.

[@Christofly]

Sorry mom, can’t make it to Christmas this year. Big Joel just dropped a six hour video about Disney channel original movies.

[@CPD03]

She’ll understand… if she’s watched My Sister from Planet Weird she’ll understand

[@RaineyPeng]

ITS SIX HOURS OMG

[@ActuallyAnanya]

Do better Teddy!

[@baburnit]

D-COM pacolypse

[@RunningOnAutopilot]

Watch it at 2x speed This video is pure information It is not like music or other art where you loose something by speeding it up

[@joshuaolian1245]

“kayla is the daughter of the witches who didn’t burn and you should keep her name out of your fucking mouth” is my favorite line from any youtube video

[@Groovetwig]

I’ve been waiting for him to cover Sky High for the last four hours only to look it up and find out that sky high was theatrically released so it won’t be covered in this video. I’m in shambles.

[@matthewarmstrong3678]

This is so disappointing

[@draves8953]

Sky High is better than anything that Marvel ever released, and I will die on that hill.

[@schmiddi5768]

That means we need a Joel video just about Sky High, it's peak cinema

[@Victoria42armstrong]

Same

[@Db.1056]

Where is pants on fire?? I was looking for that

[@lrose5522]

Using still images of yourself instead of video footage to break up the voiceover was a great choice for this video. Loved it. Charming, very 2006 KZbin to me. Perfect for so many of these movies being a childhood vibe

[@joelhagdahl5769]

holy crap that girl from monster prom!!!

[@v0id_d3m0n]

Must have been to save hard drive space, but it does have a certain comedy and charm xD

[@ZuperZocker]

After watching 4.5 hours of Big Joel, I went to bed. Had a nightmare that Big Joel was killed by cannibalistic children. Somehow he survived and came back to life and then began commenting on his death and everyone else's deaths. My wife had to wake me up because I was making panicked noises in my sleep. I would rate this dream a 7

[@kittygxrl]

This made me cry laughing on Christmas Day

[@coolegg8489]

I fr laughed out loud reading this, thank you for brightening my day. I wish you little joel dreams instead of big ones

[@goldensloth7]

that's beautiful. 8/10 comment.

[@ichibvtt0]

i'm crying

[@Saol.Alainn]

Kinda okay

[@TheSrawsome]

I love the amount of empathy you show for children throughout this video. Too often society (and therefore the media we make) tells children that their feelings don't matter. There are SO many shows/movies about kids where the lesson is 'you should have accepted this event without any negative feelings' and that is just NOT realistic and not something we would expect of adults. Children are constantly experiencing new things for the FIRST TIME. They are allowed to have feelings about that!

[@dulljumbo4321]

according to joel every single plothole is simply an expression of the greater complexities of human life told through mature storytelling and I think thats a beautiful way of engaging with art

[@nnhhkk867]

NGL I feel like the biggest lasting impact youtube critics have had on how I engage w art is going "What's the most interesting interpretation?" as opposed to "What's 'correct'?" It's made (even mediocre or 'bad') art and analysing it so much more fun and rewarding, I highly recommend it.

[@spencerlively3049]

@@nnhhkk867 it's also interesting to try to pick apart WHY those "flaws" happened, as well. Idk i find filmmaking fascinating. It's like a painter driving a Seussian black box of a car whose internal combustion engine was replaced by a rube goldberg machine of production logistics and studio interference. (idc if this sentence comes off as pompous, just let me be whimsical)

[@nnhhkk867]

@@spencerlively3049 Oh, definitely, it's just that I have a naturally analytical mind, so thinking about stuff like that is kind of my default. My comment was moreso about learning to occasionally abandon "reasonable, objective analysis" of movies or media in gen for silly subjective whimsy in the name of your own amusement.

[@ND-nr6mx]

​@@nnhhkk867 Art can be defined and you're enjoying it wrong.

[@Vooblebooble]

Every good story needs at least a few plot holes to breathe

[@ZNZbane]

I was a new years' baby, and when I was born, all of the nurses called around, to see if I was the first baby to be born in my state. I was, and they were supposed to give my mom this nice gift basket, but it had been given to this other mom, who had quintuplets. All my life, I've wondered how my life could have been different if my mom had gotten that gift basket. Would there be nice practical things, like diapers? Would there have been chocolates in it? Who would I be now, if that woman hadn't had those quintuplets, or if the hospital had decided that having quintuplets was way lamer than being born on new years, and I should have had that gift basket? In other words, I should be the villain in the Quints sequel, Quints 2: This Time, There's A Guy Chasing Them

[@0sm1um76]

Man, I read this and realized that my life is meaningless. My problems and struggles are nothing in the face of the gift basket dilemma.

[@ZNZbane]

@@0sm1um76 they also didn't need to tell my mom this! what point is there in saying "yeah we had a gift basket for you for being the first child of the new year, but we gave it away earlier". why would you even say anything about the gift basket she wasn't getting to a new mother.

[@DJ_7654]

Ooo, a sub-plot. Revenge against the evil maternity ward nursing supervisor who gave away the gift basket and then mocked your mother about it afterwards.

[@catharinrin]

Does it ever make you mad that you get only one happy birthday while those piece of shit quintuplets get 5 happy birthdays? Anyways, happy early birthday. I rate it a 5

[@shortposeidon]

I feel personally offended about this for some reason

[@billypeake4891]

I can’t believe Joel skipped over the most harrowing piece of Zenon slang, where the protagonist tells her friend, “Don’t blow an O-ring!!!” over some trivial drama. It’s a casual reference to the Challenger disaster, which killed seven real-life astronauts, that the movie smoothly glosses over for a few seconds of linguistic world-building. It makes me laugh again just remembering it. 10/10

[@lisbonmapping8425]

Lmao that's fantastic.

[@lagartijamuerta]

wtf

[@DZrache]

Incredible.

[@ProxyFox45]

I imagine NASA engineers say they’re gonna blow their O-ring whenever they have to take a huge dump

[@lindensalter6713]

That’s the darkest thing I think I’ve ever seen in a DCOM

[@lailedcat]

2:03:40 ok I was bracing myself for tired Irish leprechaun nonsense but actually playing the whistle and saying “this is how I manifest despair” is actually so real and I’m on board with that guy

[@lailedcat]

I just got to the American dream bullshit and I have done a 180 and hate it again!

[@curiouser-curiouser]

40:19 I love how Big Joel interprets that heckle not as the heckler calling the band ugly by implying he mistook their natural looks for Halloween costumes, but rather as the heckler delivering a genuine criticism about how they’re not being very festive. 10/10

[@lastbitofmashedpotato797]

i agree

[@NoahRodriguezShow]

I thought that made him look pretty dumb

[@nickelassault]

Also around 5:05:00 when he thinks that lady saying "my Hawaiian adventure" is about her fiancé's race and not about the fact that she moved to the island of hawaii

[@josephschneider5837]

@@nickelassault Nah, man - it tracked pretty well that he knew what she meant, and also, that he's right that it was offensive as hell. It's exoticizing in a really fucked up way.

[@PreggerU]

Wow, what a fantastic insight Big Joel offers here! These little reinterpretations can really flip a situation on its head. And if you think about it, it's not dissimilar to how my body's currently misinterpreting the little one inside me as a frequent instructive force, rather than the developing life it truly is! But hey, isn't it incredible how our bodies and minds adapt to these unique experiences? Just curious, what's the weirdest interpretation you've seen someone make? Don't forget to share and leave a comment, I can't wait to read them to my baby one day! Like my nana always said, "sometimes the hen's cackle is just its way of wishing good morning!"

[@Shaun_vids]

big crunch

[@guldmattbb473]

Bruh what is it with two of my favorite KZbinrs both saying ‘Big Crunch’? This is a weirdly surreal experience for me lol

[@wishingwell_333]

munchy crunch

[@bboythekidstudios]

The cereal that writhes.

[@shannonceleste5557]

@guldmattbb473 wait who's the second KZbinr 👀

[@guldmattbb473]

@@shannonceleste5557 Big Joel in this very video lol.

[@Nuvizzle]

We're really just gonna blow right past the fact that "Wet Side Story" sounds like a porn parody, aren't we?

[@anonymous71207]

Or west side story but theyre all mermaids

[@boolowoertheenappydreaded5359]

well only if you blow it, it does.

[@d.lan3y]

my brother and i watch disney channel originals for fun sometimes, mostly to mock them, and trust me, we bring up wet side story at least once a week. our family members have had to ask us to please stop saying wet side story. we are very aware.

[@rebeckasu]

I thought the exact same thing about "Double Teamed"

[@estherisinthemidwest]

I kinda wish x rated films made a come back 😉

[@thesovietdm3718]

Hey Big Joel, you probably won't see this, but I just wanted to let you know that I love the thing you've been doing with the still shots of your expressive reactions to the thing you're talking about. It's hilarious every time, keep doing it, I love it.

[@Eiahtx]

Same here

[@lilpeasad]

i’m so glad you talked about being uncomfortable with movies built around the premise of shaming kids for growing up bc i have tried to verbalize the feeling for YEARS

[@Gloomdrake]

Should have been about shaming the people who forced them to grow too soon, instead

[@imjumokay]

felt this, I remember an issue of Marvel's Runaways where all the older characters tell the youngest on their team to never grow up, leading her to almost choose immortality as a 14-year-old over growing up. I always thought that plotline didnt get the resolution it deserved and I wanted to see more of it, because it really does put a lot of pressure on kids.

[@ruminationstation4200]

I never had imaginary friend and cause of that movie I pretend I had one. I felt so guilty I was being a little kid wrong. Idk where the line between an imaginary friend and a pretend imaginary friend is, but I felt so stupid talking to air.

[@lilpeasad]

@@ruminationstation4200 i can totally see that !! i never earnestly believed in santa claus but pretended to because it seemed like all the grownups /needed/ me to. it never made christmas feel less magical to me personally, but grownups seemed so sad every time i would say “no, santa didn’t get that for me, my dad did”

[@mikeymartyr]

i always felt stupid for not being a kid that like. played with their toys TwT i was one of them autistic kids that just arranged my toys and didnt """""play"""""

[@butchmikey]

cannot explain how hard i laughed at you thinking the lemonade mouth girl’s name was crunch??? 😭 top tier video

[@OmegaSoypreme]

He has such a gift for improvised names. I can't remember which video it is but there's one where he renames a character Slobber. I crack up thinking about it even without context. 😅

[@guldmattbb473]

Big Crunch is my smash tag/nickname in my friend group so that part of the video was a literal jump scare for me lol

[@zachsilberberg1]

my dad wrote dadnapped and i think given his experience as it transformed from his original script into what ended up airing, i think he'd approve of you tuning out to play balatro the whole time EDIT: asked him and yeah he approves

[@stevekullens4898]

Just looked it up to see if your last names matched, and the guy who wrote it is Alan Silberberg. Huh, so what did your dad plan for the movie?

[@Aayugara]

i still can’t believe he wrote that freakin movie

[@Saol.Alainn]

That's somehow hard to believe and entirely unsurprising at the same time lol. Did you find this channel because of that connection, or was it coincidence? Also wondering about the original story now! More details needed 😅

[@zachsilberberg1]

⁠@@Saol.Alainn no ive seen a few of joel’s vids and been a Casual Enjoyer. truthfully i havent watched this whole video yet but when i saw it on my feed i knew i had to just check what he said about dadnapped. but i can’t speak to what the original script was because 1. it’s my dad’s story to tell, probably on some random disney adult’s podcast someday, and 2. it’s been years since we’ve talked about the movie so if i’m being honest i don’t remember much anyway. but i think crocodiles were involved

[@rodmunch6865]

So would you say that this movie got, Dadnapped . . .

[@victoronnie]

i'm very embarrassed by how long it took me to realize miracle in lane 2 was not a sequel to a movie called "miracle in lane", spent far too much of that segment wondering when it was gonna be mentioned that the movies were watched out of order lmao

[@fenrisgrim]

"Why do you care so much about the rights of magical dark entities, but care not at all about the rights of gay people?" Is so fucking good. This video really kicks into high gear about half way through

[@JakeGottfriedStudios]

I love not knowing at all what movies he's talking about. Like my head can't narrow it down at all

[@Jouris-q2n]

this is why a lot of people are bothered by "fantastic racism" trope. Its not doing a good job at talking about oppression, and creators and companies responsible for the media in question dont actually care for that irl

[@KeDe1606]

@ I personally choose to believe the latter. It’s not like it’s impossible to write a story with fantastical elements, meant to represent irl systemic issues. It’s just that the suits in charge of these products both choose the most difficult way to go about adapting these topics (i.e. by making their hatred seem totally justified), and, once they recognize the massive hole they’ve just dug themselves into, only do the bare minimum in trying to convince the audience why bigotry is actually wrong. It’s always like A: “Hey, maybe we should be a bit cautious around the people with literal Evil Genes embedded into their DNA/who can wipe out an entire town with a single snap.” B: “Maybe we shouldn’t.” A: “Why?” B: “Because they hooman :)” A: “Oh wow, you’re so right and smart and cool. You should be the next president.” They never try to deal with the unique issues their allegories bring with them, it’s just “everyone should be treated equally, because” Edit: The one example of “bad fantasy racism” that I cannot get out of my head is Detroit: Become Human. It’s a bad game, and somehow even worse at discussing racism. But the one scene I especially dislike is when Robot-MLK wants to prove to a crowd of people that robots are, in fact, no different from humans, and are just as capable of creative thought as they are, by… turning into a glorified MP3 player. He starts singing a song that a real person, a human, has already made. He doesn’t even sing something original. Something that HE created. That game is genuinely so atrocious at everything it tries to do and convey, it’s honestly kinda impressive

[@Alex-cw3rz]

Big Joel really living up to his name I bet Little Joel is jealous, he'll need to release a 6 second video now. Maybe just of a Henry giggle

[@simonlegosson7082]

Henry giggles scare and comfort me at the same time

[@gnocchidokey]

extra large joel

[@Joe90h]

@@gnocchidokey With a six hour video, I think it's safe to call him the largest Joel.

[@kingcalamity6276]

Who the hell is henry

[@Groovetwig]

@@kingcalamity6276I’m pretty sure big Joel’s name is actually Henry.

[@tuffemily1431]

"Tom and brink should have ended best friends, or at the very least lovers" still my favourite line on a rewatch

[@themaskedpicori6085]

on a rewatch?? how fast are you watching this???

[@tuffemily1431]

@themaskedpicori6085 early for patrons

[@themaskedpicori6085]

@@tuffemily1431 ahhh that makes sense lmao, apologies

[@grizzlyclaire6918]

​@@themaskedpicori6085 doesn't everyone watch 6 hour big joel videos on 2x speed and then rewatch them directly after?

[@elizabethsaltmarsh8306]

@@tuffemily1431 mine was the one about lusting after human flesh.

[@kpat1850]

i like that he talked about all two high school musical movies without mentioning gabriella once

[@ashton7981]

who?

[@Oceanatornowk]

I appreciate how so far there’s essentially no pattern to the order of the DCOMs. Very exciting

[@supershinigami1]

Yeah I was asking myself which order he was going with but I think it's just vibes.

[@laurenguttie]

he does that for every movie review compilation, it's the best

[@Joe90h]

It was actually jarring to me that he reviewed the Zombies movies one after the other.

[@eggbag4182]

The zombie movies are in order but the surfing ones or descendants aren't, it's an artistic decision

[@jordanlowrance3476]

It’s so fucking funny that he didn’t chapter this, sincere artistic integrity

[@zubetp]

the ending of smart house always bugged me. they discover chocolate chips in the pancake batter and nobody knows who put them in. that's when ben spots pat's face in the fridge screen, and she winks. they had opened this scene by stating pat was shut down so that the dad could make pancakes, and pat has secretly turned herself on to change the food they're cooking because she believes it will be better this way. this is treated as a heartwarming moment, as if the horror climax of the movie didn't hinge on them having to shut down the house because it kept overriding their decisions, only for it to _turn itself back on._

[@notarabbit1752]

only a matter of time before she puts rat poison in it

[@morgantrias3103]

u got a nut allergy? wwell I guess just don't make her mad!

[@josephfloyd4217]

That is a haunting realization.

[@SanguineThor]

This could be an SCP article

[@MsOkayAwesome]

Great take, chilling

[@Spencerdoken]

"I'm Irish, that's how I manifest despair" is such an incredible banger of a line

[@smergthedargon8974]

It goes so hard, I love it

[@miss_elaineous_]

I feel like more time could've been spent on everyone becoming leprechauns and the final fight being a bunch of sports matches culminating in a basketball game tiebreaker. And then the bad guy is Team Rocket Blasted Off Again to Lake Erie because his dad's family is from Cleveland. Did I need to look any of this up? I did not, because this movie is written into my DNA.

[@Kirbychu1]

I really appreciate how you approach every single one of these in good faith it's so refreshing compared to a lot of the other "long videos dissecting children's media" boys/girls. Even if you dunked on pretty much every movie I fondly remember! I thought mountain boarding looked like the sickest thing ever

[@slovvtown]

13:17 "I'm not trying to be rude when I say this boy is clearly not serving, but nobody cares everyone simply accepts her." LMAO

[@kingcalamity6276]

2:57:57 "watching these women fall over themselves for the chance to date the chicken, it just feels kind of demeaning to the human condition." This line so perfectly captures why a lot of romance stories don't work for me, I think from now on I'm just going to use "chicken" as shorthand for "milquetoast straight guy"

[@Nortarachanges]

It’s a good stand in, but they will always be “Tenchis” to me

[@BudewFan_]

I’ve just called them a generic white guy name John tom bill jim Larry etc

[@psychotophatcat]

​​@@Nortarachanges At least Tenchi is a good-hearted, hardworking and grounded guy who is sometimes sarcastic and sometimes has a short fuse, who doesn't hesitate to step up when he is needed. I humbly suggest replacing "Tenchis" with "Keitaros," given the latter's lack of redeeming or interesting qualities compared to the former.

[@tallguywithbag]

I love that the thing that motivates Big Joel to go against his duties as a critic and advocate for an alternate scriptwriting for the first time in his career is his intense need for a enemies to lovers arc in Brink.

[@TheEnding247]

But he is so right to do so

[@Se7enRemain]

Big FUJOelSHI

[@tawumpas]

It's a good rewrite. The original Brink was a copy of the Xtremly Goofy Movie

[@allyli1718]

@@tawumpas doesn't that movie also have a huge fanfiction scene shipping the mc with his enemy character? i never watched it, so i have no clue, but seeing the horny fan animations between a teenage goofy looking kid and another furry disney ingenue boy on youtube has been burned into my memory.

[@Gloomdrake]

@@allyli1718when you say MC, are we talking Max, or Goofy?

[@WetlandCryptozoology]

One of the writers of Pixel Perfect, Neal Shusterman, actually went on to write a full YA series where he fleshed out the whole concept of an AI briefly inhabiting the body of a person to experience the beauty of living. The premise as you described sounded familiar and I remembered he mentioned it in the author's note of that chapter of the third book, and talked about how he wasn't too concerned with the nuance of the concept because it was just a Disney movie. I also suspect conflict of interest between him and the other writer is what led to the narrative dissonance. Either way the series is called Scythe and I remember it having some pretty cool stuff, worth reading if Pixel Perfect left you hanging.

[@JellyfishLightning]

yeah i had heard about pixel perfect from the author's annotations of that chapter, then forgot about it until this video. honestly i kinda want to reread the series now

[@shani-just-shani]

I didn't realize Neal Shusterman was one of the writers for Pixel Perfect! His Unwind series was one of my favorite YA series

[@axelgonzalez2806]

Genuinely shocked to learn about The Color of Friendship. That would be a daring movie to make for mainstream audiences *now*.

[@supershinigami1]

Same. I have never heard of it but want to watch it now.

[@Anienem]

I remember watching Color of Friendship. I didn’t know what it was about going in and I remember being mildly disappointed that it was one of the grounded “serious” DCOMs instead of a wacky hijinks one, but I was also surprised at how honest it was. It really stuck in my memory all these years later.

[@gideons6126]

Same, as an afrikaans guy myself I'm excited to see it

[@lindensalter6713]

I watched it in an high school geography class. Still don’t understand why we watched it but it always shocks me to remember it was a Disney original movie

[@KeDe1606]

I wonder what the people who made Color of Friendship think of the Zombies/Descendants movies. Like, holy hell, what a drop-off

[@carbonsiren]

Big audacious energy to have no chapters, like you will NOT just skip to High School Musical and Camp Rock

[@yungoldman2823]

literally the description is filled with timestamps youtube just didnt make them into sections like it should

[@carbonsiren]

​@@yungoldman2823 I'm embarrassed

[@wermluvr]

@@carbonsiren hang in there brother

[@livstylerewind]

Those are your heavy hitters?! 😅🤭

[@mothboy420]

LOL ​@@livstylerewind

[@poopdick485]

24:46 The story about how this kiss (being an interracial one) made it onto the screen is actually a very interesting one. Disney tried to axe it, but the writers fought for it. So, although it makes little sense in the context of the film, it's actually really sweet this even made it into a DCOM at all. It ended up being the LEAST controversial thing about that film. LOL.

[@misteryA555]

Huh? Really? Why would they have a problem with it? Was this filmed in the 60s? I can't believe people are saying Disney "isn't woke anymore" when they've always been cowards who try to stop anything that could even be considered slightly controversial

[@strawberrydialectics]

wait what else about it was controversial?

[@AnnaExMachina]

​@@strawberrydialecticsI believe they got a bunch of calls from parents because it was considered too scary.

[@net_has]

who's gonna tell him that Love You Like a Love Song is a real song

[@iantaakalla8180]

And it’s a bop too. Maybe it’s just that it’s self-referential in how it expresses its love, but it’s also very sincere about the fun obsession love can bring.

[@nsb144]

Oh also his complaints about the Good Luck Charlie movie are funny to me because while Teddy does come off badly in this film, I cannot stress how awful a parent Amy Duncan is overall. One time, Teddy has an interview for college and Amy brings in a camera crew and starts filming it and consistently interrupts so she can make the interview about her. Another time, Amy wants to compete in some sort of talent show with her family and they agree to join her and practice her insanely difficult dance moves. But when she decides they're not talented enough she literally hires people to replace her family members in the talent show. So knowing all that makes the Good Luck Charlie movie a lot more bearable honestly.

[@lindensalter6713]

I remembered the show but not the movie and his explanation of the characters was really confusing. In what universe is Teddy the selfish one and her mom the selfless one? I wonder why the change for the movie

[@fluorescentadolescent2189]

the show is incredible but the movie is sooooo bad

[@anonymouslucario285]

​@fluorescentadolescent2189 how?

[@Wonkadidtdoit]

She’s also a MAGA conservative irl who actively speaks against and campaigns women’s reproductive rights to their bodies, so maybe Amy was written to be a thoughtful mom but writers got inspired by her real personality🤷🏼‍♀️

[@hannahhickman8663]

No because the whole time he was reviewing this movie I was like “no you need to watch the show because you would understand why teddy did what she had to” she was constantly being parentified also parents who would let her get back together with that two timing pig, not true parents.

[@mysticaldesign858]

if anyone out there reading this is a teen beach 2 lesbian tragedy truther, know you're not alone. there must be tens of us

[@nnhhkk867]

No idea what this is but it sounds like the kind of thing I would support from a confused distance as it kept popping up on my tumblr dash circa 2016, so keep rocking on teen beach 2 lesbian tragedy truthers, hell yeah.

[@ilexdiapason]

i also support your yuri that i know nothing about

[@BubblegumSocialClub]

Agreed

[@BudewFan_]

God bless you teen beach yuri truthers, god bless you, a thousand blessing upon thy house

[@lindensalter6713]

I wasn’t before but I am now. This is definitely a better movie than whatever the hell they did

[@qsmith2514]

“Oh my god hope he loves The Cheetah Girls” **Big Joel loves the Cheetah Girls and calls it closest thing to cinema out of this project** OH MY GOD Also the first 2 Cheetah Girls were executive produced by Whitney Houston

[@blake..-]

Why is that such a game changer for me like cheetah girls 2 is a cinematic masterpiece now

[@Tiphuhnee]

Joel liking cheetah girls is his best opinion. Nothing else more important than that.

[@TomMinnow]

I read that as "2 of the cheetah girls were executed by Whitney Houston" and was fully prepared to accept this reality

[@hinasakukimi]

she did cinderella too, right? whitney houston was such a gift and not just for her insane talent. like despite (or maybe even because of) what she went through, she devoted her energy to creating inclusive films for kids that she never had herself while growing up. i respect that so much ;w;

[@qsmith2514]

@@TomMinnowwould’ve been Aqua and Dorinda if we being honest

[@vee5113]

my favorite thing about good luck charlie its christmas is the script for the movie is written with the same style of joke telling as the show, but there's no canned laughter like there is on the show so there are just weird pauses after jokes where you can intensely feel the absence of the canned laughter. it's like no one told the actors there wasn't going to be canned laughter added in post and they were just so used to leaving space for it that they kept doing it

[@noabsolutelynot4587]

actually insane that 90% of these are filmed in vancouver, every exterior scene i’m like hey wait, i know that place

[@yespls6260]

The Vancouver city film lobby needs to be stopped!

[@MCDreng]

I remember from the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie book that they chose to film in Vancouver because it looks "more American than America," like it's the quintessence of happy friendly America. Probably also for tax reasons but that was what the book said. Disney channel also wants to have that all-American feel, so it makes sense.

[@UltraSuperGamer]

I had to watch all the shots in Geek Charming TWICE because I couldn’t believe they were so Vancouver

[@noabsolutelynot4587]

@ exactly the part i was watching when i wrote this comment lmao

[@nietzschesmadman4026]

It's because Paramount North was located in Vancouver.

[@ninonlack2331]

really admire just after 'crunch' joel confidently introducing the protagonist of mom's got a date with a vampire as 'mischievous jimmy' when he is in fact called adam

[@HenryThomas-vc2wy]

your commentary at 23:40 is so real because I think that toy story scene legitematley might be the reason I have a hard time letting go of physical objects.

[@TheArcv2]

Did not expect to confront my own attachment to objects, thanks

[@coolbabbit639]

Inner child healing moment

[@aliciabergman1252]

On top of the fact that you could make your toy depressed by giving them away they could also secretly be a fascist leader, making all your other toys live in fear. And you wouldn’t know a thing. Toy Story can’t lead to anything other than existential horror and trust issues.

[@plushdragonteddy]

if it helps, i always try to think that by giving away my old stuff, it can go to a new home where it’s truly appreciated, instead of gathering dust in my closet. i think even if everything WAS alive, that would still be the best option. i have OCD so i feel u lol

[@joelvandyke7505]

Arguably "I don't want to look at urban sprawl when I see the moon" is actually pretty reasonable

[@Sky-bx9mn]

01:14:15 Okay the best part about the Suite Life villain is that with my difficulties recognizing faces, I'm just repeatedly watching him take off a detailed, lifelike mask to reveal the same face.

[@poofy1746]

Wait is that not the joke? I thought the whole point was that they're identical brothers, Idk my eyesight is not that good either but I was acting under the assumption that they're supposed to be the same face.

[@BubblegumSocialClub]

@@poofy1746yeah I was wondering the same thing!!

[@miniaturephilosopher]

Same. It took me a while to realize that wasn't the joke.

[@lindensalter6713]

Wait no what? I thought they were twins. Aren’t they supposed to have the same face?

[@morgantrias3103]

for real!

[@ruminationstation4200]

I love the self awareness that critique with recs is just fan fiction and immediately giving the absolute PEAK of fan fiction culture: enemies to lovers gay shipping.

[@panmori7448]

Which film is it?

[@MsOkayAwesome]

It was Brink! Skip to 37:05 for Joel's amazing gay fanfiction

[@morrissonvanz1064]

My favorite moment from this video is when Big Joel says that "there's an inherent joy to seeing tall people".

[@tyetnic]

Man so many of these are like “oh yeah! I have seen that one!” And too many of these are like “wait have I seen this one? I literally couldn’t tell you.” Great video

[@ellethegenie]

Pixel Perfect is my favorite DCOM. But I can relate to it in a different way as a woman. It's not supposed to be a literal interpretation of a person falling in love with a robot. It's about how we fall in love with the idea of a "perfect woman", put them on a pedestal and expect them to perform for us. And it's also about the pressure that women feel to "perform" as a perfect woman, until they're stripped of their own identity. Loretta eventually realizes that she wants to be able to form her own identity instead of being a performer. Which is why at the end of the movie, she basically ceases to exist, because she does not want to live as someone else's creation.

[@friendofmaglor]

I was incapable of watching the sequel to Blade Runner without thinking at several points "why is this so much like Pixel Perfect"

[@judysm95]

Yeah I agree! I also don't get why I would sympathize with a hologram essentially possessing a girl who's already been through hell by being compared to her lol. Like if she wants to become real, that's fine, but I understand the characters not wanting that to happen by way of, I guess literal death of the previous bands lead singer??

[@ellethegenie]

@@judysm95 so true lol they really did that character dirty until like 5 minutes before the movie ended

[@cookiesnbubbles]

Amen, thank you for adding this comment

[@tonoornottono]

the way that joel COMPLETELY misinterprets the “oh, you aren’t wearing any costumes” roast at 40:00 because he’s taking it too literally, is my oxygen. this is food and water to me.

[@SHRUGGiExyz]

Idk if my brain is lacking oxygen, food, or water, but i truly also am unable to interpret the roast in a way other than what middle henry describes... (What is the joke i am missing i beg your charitable response)

[@twentun9005]

@@SHRUGGiExyzhe’s pretending to think they’re wearing costumes when they’re not, ie calling them ugly

[@tonoornottono]

@@SHRUGGiExyz it’s an old joke honestly. presumably a halloween costume will be some kind of ugly monster, so when you say “nice costume- oh wait, you aren’t wearing costumes?” you’re pretending that you thought their normal faces and bodies were an ugly halloween costume.

[@СвеБожилова]

I always interpreted it the way he did too 💀

[@hinasakukimi]

i am choosing to believe joel interpreted it correctly. i love to think this bully is simply upset about people not following halloween traditions. relatable af

[@juliakrystosek8003]

Big Joel are you telling me that The Cat In The Hat stems from the same human desire to retain moral purity while engaging in taboo behavior that created bodice ripper romance novels

[@BarackLesnar]

bodice ripper is my metal band

[@ion9000]

Me after I watch contrapoints twilight for the fifteenth time

[@katiefairchild8581]

this is an extremely powerful thing you've just said and i'm going to spend all day thinking about it

[@mikaylaholland5536]

@@ion9000dammit I cannot believe someone beat me to this comment and yet at the same time, of course

[@emory5533]

That's exactly what I was thinking 😂

[@a_b897]

Gotta give some credit to the editing, the little clips of the movies either random or to emphasise a point are spot on and I laughed out loud multiple times

[@rosebyanyname]

3:06:08 - best fun fact about any DCOM: The actors playing Marnie and Kal (son of Kalabar) reconnected about a decade ago, struck up a romance and got married this year!!

[@Tamacat388]

Thats pretty good

[@connorletkeman5002]

😯🎉

[@NoOneReallySpecial]

And a little recently, the girl who played Frances and the guy who played Larry had an unofficial reunion for Don't Look Under the Bed.

[@lextatertotsfromhell7673]

if you're wondering why the action in Wendy Wu slapped, Koichi Sakamoto was the Action Director. He's known for his work on tokusatsu series, like power rangers, super sentai, kamen rider, and Ultraman

[@lindseycassella3015]

Love this piece of trivia

[@wishingwell_333]

had no idea cheetah girls is produced by whitney houston too lol i like their music

[@dukecaliblap]

The movie was also made during the time when Disney owned and was producing power rangers, so that's most likely the reason why Sakamoto was hired. And probably the only reason the movie was made at all

[@justsiva775]

I'm obsessed with the fact that the hispanic dictator at 4:39 is wearing a beret with the russian coat of arms on it

[@laraweinberg7635]

i guess it's plausible if they're implying the country is allied with the soviets? i think sankara's been photographed with it

[@mc5967]

​@@laraweinberg7635 I think that that's expecting a lot from them lmao

[@MCDreng]

​@@mc5967 I would imagine that "evil spooky commies" was intended subtext on this guy

[@pedroholsbach8592]

​@@laraweinberg7635 Nah dude, it's a cheap prop. These movies are made pretty cheaply, most people don't know what the russian coat of arms looks like and you can get those berets anywhere on the internet for like 5 bucks

[@Wombattlr]

I thought you were me for a second and really started questioning my memory lol. This _is_ infact my first time watching this video

[@Crossark1]

I sit here trembling with anticipation for the moment he gets to The Color of Friendship

[@avawetzel3408]

Did you get to it yet? It's a long video, I can't blame you if you haven't.

[@jirojhasuo2ndgrandcompany745]

it made me so sad ngl. what a masterpiece.

[@ThatPazuzu]

I was 8 when the Color of Friendship came out and my understanding of the movie, as a child, was that South Africa wasn't real. By 8 years old, you understand that some stories are parables and don't reflect the real world. I believed that South Africa as a country wasnt real it was just a symbol of racism, like how the zombies in zombies are symbols of racism

[@narvuntien]

I want to laugh at how americian this is but its also super sincre and I love you for that.

[@djscrewfan310]

@@narvuntien to be fair South Africa was cartoonishly racist to a point that’s incomprehensible even to adults sometimes

[@xtoadsannom6704]

To be fair, a country that is named after a continent and a cardinal direction feels fake even when you're older. I'm pretty sure it took me a while to realize that "South Africa" didn't refer to a general region of the continent but rather a country.

[@raidenslade]

​@@xtoadsannom6704 Yeah i mean there's no country called "west asia" or "north europe" its just south africa

[@k-veeaudiojack]

To make you feel better as a Californian, I thought Hollywood was a fictional city that just popped up in so much media as like a metaphor, a la Hotel California, until I was 15. It took me a month of arguing with my friend as a whole ass teenager about how Hollywood wasn't real. As a lifetime Californian. It's now been 5 years since I found out Hollywood was real, and I even visited it once! And yet sometimes I still find myself thinking it's fictional as a grown man. So... Yeah lol.

[@gnocchidokie]

The Color of Friendship won an Emmy for Outstanding Children's Program!

[@benjisaac]

2:53 ok it’s been like 10 years for me but… I don’t think to kill a mockingbird is about a young girl who thinks she has the whole world figured out. She’s like 6 years old. She knows she doesn’t have it figured out and is super malleable to new information and ideas like 6 year olds should be

[@tonoornottono]

you say that but then she dresses up as a ham for halloween and you think okay she Does have it figured out

[@blipboigilgamesh7865]

Always thought it was about killing mockingbirds

[@johnsmith2875]

Right like I know they already had the script written and just picked a random book 😭

[@BadIdeaSociety]

@@johnsmith2875 I figure they try to pick something a school district would be likely to make kids to read.

[@nat9380]

he's like patrick bateman explaining music

[@ComputerDude2600]

Just binged this whole video in a day lol... really enjoyed it. I love the more positive takes on movies, the angry movie critic trope is so old, it's fun to watch someone who genuinely enjoys the movies he talks about, even in the bad ones you found things you like.

[@iantaakalla8180]

The angry movie critic trope on KZbin is also very literally 16 years old, which is the time where KZbin really became a place to watch personalities. So it is foundational to KZbin. It is nice to see this grow into thoughtful criticism.

[@iantaakalla8180]

I also am fond of an angry movie critic, but they really have to be insightful or else it gets old quick for me.

[@strengthman600]

Frankly what I’ve learned after finishing this video is that sky high ISN’T a dcom

[@Se7enRemain]

Just a regular ol' dom

[@lindensalter6713]

I never knew it was ever in theaters until now

[@tammyslammy]

Riiight?? I had actually forgotten I started this video 6 hours ago with great anticipation to hear Grand Joel's opinion on Sky High.

[@Unotuchable]

It made it to theaters so while it's a Disney film that gained most of its popularity on the Disney Channel, it technically isn't a DCOM.

[@uuh4yj43]

i watched it in theaters, greatest cinematic experience of my life tbh, life-changing stuff.

[@Kat-qe1vk]

Not even an hour in & already Big Joel has the vision to realize Brink should've been a queer romcom, the sweater man's done it again, 10/10

[@LimeyLassen]

There's so much gaydar in this video and I love it every time

[@KB-Ocelot]

If only he’d realized that about Cadet Kelly as well. I blame the fact that he watched Tiger Cruise right before it.

[@Teqnifii]

Hey why are people suddenly using slurs to describe gay people now

[@AmeyBoop]

@Teqnifii Suddenly? Now? Have you been asleep for ten years? It’s called reclamation, and I for one do not favor it, but it is not new or strange.

[@Teqnifii]

@AmeyBoop I've seen it around and it genuinely seems exceptionally strange to me, especially to use a slur that still, today, means "strange".

[@TheNumnutRandomness]

Big Joel's DCOM recommendations: 1) Cheetah Girls (cinema) 2) Horse Sense (just a good movie) 3) White Chicks (White Chicks)

[@chesspiece4257]

you’re missing 4) Color of Friendship (10/10)

[@user-rt2ik4mc8y]

5) Ring of endless light (nice to see movies that cares about its characters and are intimate 9/10)

[@dynaboyjl.4220]

Smart House, Going to the Mat.

[@mothmangotango]

2:43:00 Go Figure is so funny to me as a concept, specifically because it’s set in 2005. Women’s ice hockey had been an olympic sport for the past two games, 1998 and 2002. The majority of elite female players (past and present) had childhoods of being the only girl on boys’ teams. The idea that a school wouldn’t have a girls’ figure skating scholarship and *would* have a girls’ hockey one? This movie takes place in a fantasy universe

[@Cha_Sechan-bq5tq]

I honestly thought there would overall be more blades (ice or roller) but i guess disney channel was a more 2000s phenomenon than a 90s one. by then you were only allowed to be on skates for hockey (and only ice. as far as i know no one ever played roller hockey again)

[@EchoCian]

It seemed really weirdly mean about the concept of figure skating. Disney so dedicated to the idea of boys doing girl things and girls doing boy things that the very idea of a girl liking a stereotypically girl thing (yes I know men figure skate, I'm not sure Disney did) needs to be instantly derided no matter how little sense it makes?

[@elizabethagudelo7179]

a ring of endless light is such an unjustifiably hard title for a disney channel movie

[@rdr1973]

Thats because its based on a book by a famous and good author

[@dogdoggddog]

The Unendable Lightness of Ringing

[@garuspiks]

last night I dreamt that you posted a 100-hour video on some white guy you were beefing with who got into a car crash because he was recording a diss track about you while driving, then I wake up and see a 6 hour big joel video on my feed? literally a dream come true

[@ThatOneGuyRAR]

LMAO

[@tonoornottono]

holy shit this is six hours long

[@drago3036]

I mean, the real vídeo is better, i think XD

[@thephony1651]

I like that you mention he was a white guy

[@tonoornottono]

@thephony1651 white guy diss rap definitely has a different feeling to it

[@supercres7850]

Watched this over a few days this winter and wanted to say I appreciate how much time and effort was put into making this. Watched a lot more of these as a kid alongside my younger sister than I even remembered and it was interesting to reexperience them through short reviews like this

[@athertongraham8660]

I finally finished it, and I feel really appreciative that big joel did not make any jokes about being exhausted by the sheer number of movies to watch. Incredible video, I have no idea why you chose to do this to yourself

[@coatimundi69]

agreed! i love quinton reviews' stuff but i get realy annoyed when he (and other people who do this) voluntarily make long videos then complain that theyre doing them. like dont make it then...?

[@Wet-Milk]

@@coatimundi69 i mean starting a project, getting really far into it, only to realize how much of a struggle it is, and then humorously talking about that i sperfectly fine and normal? especially when your audience is now expecting that kind of content. Imaghine having 4 plus hours of a video made over months then just scrapping it? thats dumb as hell. "just dont make it" is so ignorant

[@coatimundi69]

@Wet-Milk saying it once or twice (as large joel did here) is fine but when their disdain for the project is obvious and the comments of "i cant believe [my audience] is making me do this!!" happen every 15 minutes, it gets tiring. its not ignorant to say creators indeed get to make what they want. they arent being held at gunpoint nor are rhey specifically commissioned to make 10 hour long videos about something that could be done in 4.

[@geraltrivia9565]

@@coatimundi69Quinton reviews sucks. He just summarizes plots and has nothing real of note to say of any of it

[@coatimundi69]

@geraltrivia9565 tbh i enjoy a good summary when i dont feel like committing to watching the content fully!! so i like his stuff when i need to shut my brain off. however i absolutely see why so many people have said they hate his reviews since he does half a review and mostly just summarizes and says what everyone is already thinking 💀

[@Aaaaaaarrrpirate]

Vaguely sized Joel has one of the most dedicated fanbases I have ever seen, he has around 700k subs and ~30% of them willingly clicked on a 6 hour video and kept watching for at least 30 seconds, probably a lot longer. Kudos for editing a video this long with clips instead of your own video footage, that makes it a lot more engaging.

[@Aaaaaaarrrpirate]

Forgot to add that this was WITHIN A DAY

[@xletragedyx]

Regular sized Joel?

[@Aaaaaaarrrpirate]

@@xletragedyx perhaps

[@toryslapper69]

Fr props to mothcub for editing this oddyssey so attentively!

[@Lightning_bugs]

@@xletragedyx median joel

[@SolarManOmega]

“Nothing explains why Max acts like this” cue shot at @47:48 of the Desi woman and the white British man facing opposite each other with a Union Jack splitting the frame down the middle 🤔

[@chesspiece4257]

yeah i was going to say “wdym he’s a white man ‘nuff said”

[@TheNumnutRandomness]

"He takes credit for her work and abandons her once he has what he needs from her. It's such a sudden character shift!" _Guy's name is DJ Union Max_

[@MrxstGrssmnstMttckstPhlNelThot]

That is cinema.

[@tonoornottono]

this one may have been a bit too subtle 😭

[@SHRUGGiExyz]

Ok but if his name was jack would that have been _too_ on the nose..?

[@jamiegdubois]

As a neurodivergent woman, can I just say that I appreciate your commentary Tru Confessions. I especially resonated with what you said at 1:07:35, autistic people are so often treated as props and not people. Really enjoyed your video!

[@marsverb]

I really, really appreciate that this is a hyper-long video of a KZbinr watching and reacting to an insane amount of content and for a change he's really just enjoying himself. I'm tired of all the comparable videos that have a vibe of "I am suffering for this, this is all garbage that I'm watching, my brain is mush and it's your fault, audience, for making me do this." I no longer have sympathy for that kind of attitude. But Big Joel clearly had a lot of fun making this video, or if he didn't, he does a great job of hiding it, and for that reason watching this didn't feel like a chore to me. I smiled and laughed along with him for the full six hours, and it really was just a breath of fresh air.

[@bread8465]

I think it’s pretty obvious the “I hate doing this” videos are ironic, it’s not that serious

[@marsverb]

@ I get that, but the irony isn’t funny anymore.

[@bread8465]

@@marsverb fair enough, I do think it’s cool to see Joel enjoying himself

[@bodemanmeta747]

This comment hasn’t seen enough love on here imo. I think we’re crossing into a renaissance of video media as a society. 30 years ago it was new and grounded and considered funny by the masses for a television series or a film to focus on bitterness and human suffering and mundanity. But here we are today, and a mixture of real world events, technological advancements and an overwhelming farm of content online has us as a people craving politeness and careful sincerity in the ideas that we consume. Even where there is room for criticism, people are really right now appreciating and preferring media which presents criticism without meanness, while still making sure to feature positivity on a greater scale. Look at Big Joel, and how he has grown as a creator. Look at the most currently beloved animated television series, Smiling Friends. Look at just how many Oscar nominations The Barbie movie got the other year. I really enjoy living through this moment in video media consumption history

[@iantaakalla8180]

Honestly, it also helps that life itself has grown bitter. Every single aspect of irl life can’t be enjoyed without an asterisk blocking 99% of the screen. So wishing for and cultivating thoughtful criticism that’s still positive in a world of both mindless negativity and spiteful governments and corporations and CEOs is, at this point, attudinal rebellion.

[@trevornesbitt8092]

It’s so funny to me that he recognizes Greg but not any of the other big named actors that appeared in these movies.

[@CreativeC13]

And that he had never heard of Good Luck Charlie 😂

[@Ivytheherbert]

What about Mr Sheffield?

[@nbewarwe]

He recognized Shia Lebeoff though

[@raej2353]

I will always remember cheetah girls 2 came out the same week they declared Pluto not a real planet

[@AndiEmly]

The classic question "where were you when Pluto stopped being a planet"

[@user-oy6hk1gn7l]

the second plane, if you will

[@Lightning_bugs]

@@user-oy6hk1gn7la second definition has hit the dwarf planet

[@SCWood]

Throughout the weird limbo between christmas and new year's, I would listen to this while crocheting, taking little chunks off of the runtime over the course of a week, and then the day before new years, I finished it. While the credits played with Joel's soulful crooning in the background, I got emotional. It truly felt like the holidays were over in that moment, but I felt grateful for the experience. Thank you BJ. This was great.

[@charforeverbiotch]

fun fact: nicholas braun of greg fame was offered the role as the lead of zombies around the same time he was pitched to play greg in succession. if he was never offered the greg role, you probably would’ve been watching him in 3 zombie dcoms

[@ashleylange6628]

I think he picked the right role (or did he????)

[@guyanomaly]

I’m so, so desperately sad that he wasn’t in zombies.

[@MX-175-q2t]

Cousin Greg being the suave romantic lead in a disney channel movie would’ve been so funny

[@itsvondell]

just out of the gate I'm so glad to see you included a clip of my favorite line from Cheetah Girls, when the cop, having just heard about the dog stuck in the hole, says "dog in a hole? that's bad"

[@fernando2001xx]

The most baffling part of the Zack and Cody movie is that the series doesn’t have any sort of science fiction elements to it, it’s just like normal real world plots.

[@Mumiah862]

They did Groundhog Day in the show

[@MrHendrix17]

I feel that's a recurring issue with "TV Show - The Movie" style projects, so often the plot feels like it was a separate project sitting a drawer of some studio exec for years that had the tv IP clumsily bolted on

[@spencerlively3049]

there were occasional supernatural/sci-fi episodic plotlines in the original show (at the hotel) but those became much more common as the suite life on deck progressed. Honestly, the random plotline of the movie is fairly representative of that period in the suite life series.

[@ND-nr6mx]

​@@MrHendrix17Lizzie McGuire going to Italy and performing onstage with her pop star lookalike 😵‍💫

[@YOSSARIAN313]

Their are a few fantastical elements but its mostly fairly grounded by kids show standards. I remember that one gag where the manager screams into a pot closes the lid and when the mom opens it the scream comes out

[@ragcat3732]

I love how both you and Jordy McNeill agree that the chemistry between the main character and rival is the best part of brink. It just feels so obvious now that they should’ve done something more with the characters in the ending.

[@Alty-Souls]

I never really noticed how many DCOMs involve surfing in some way. Really gave me a skewed perspective on how often surfing would come up later in life, considering that I live in a landlocked state

[@LimeyLassen]

I bet most of these were made in LA.

[@morphobutterfly9]

I read surfing as suffering and was very confused for a minute

[@violetr7296]

this comment made me laugh hard😂 i thought so too … and quicksand

[@snowlondon8642]

yeah i genuinely felt like a didn’t really have an interesting teenage experience for a while because i wasn’t out surfing or being on the boardwalk or going swimming at night or having cool beach bonfire parties and then i remembered that i’ve lived in colorado my whole life

[@ABalloonInNeed]

As a Disney channel kid, a chronic people pleaser my whole life, and someone who blended families four times in my dad’s side and once on my mom’s, Disney’s take on blended family peace being the children’s responsibility certainly didn’t encourage me to prioritize myself or my feelings when it came to my parents’ happiness.

[@weekendreligion5753]

1:15:30 They ran promos for weeks leading up to the release of Zenon, with the actors explaining the slang definitions. As a kid it felt like you were getting the real inside info. Watched it last week with my kid, an realized it'll never hit the same for future generations without the deathgrip late 90s Disney Channel had on millennials' minds

[@shytendeakatamanoir9740]

You know, that's low-key genius. After all, a grown adult will never be able to get how kids talk. So instead, you make up a language, and put kids into your own shoes! Now, they're the ones who get to feel alien about how those kids talk, and have to learn. Maybe because I'm getting older, but I truly resonate with that.

[@TIC_em]

the fact that i watched this entire video in two uninterrupted sessions over two days is totally normal, non-chronically online behavior and also attests to your talent as a content creator. where would i be without these long, chaotic ramblings about movies that i've never even heard of (for most of them)? not doing something more productive, i can guarantee, so thank you as always for the chaos to keep me from laying in bed all day lol

[@droidigan]

I really like at 50:55 when you put selfies in to show you like having a good time. it also made me feel like i was having a good time

[@MrKaneShadow]

"Zapped" should have just been a shot-for-shot remake of A Clockwork Orange, but the ultraviolence is just boys farting and stuff

[@maddieb.4282]

HAHAHA

[@KathyClysm]

you have planted a thought in my head that has since festered and now I cannot not imagine the droogs roaming the town, farting like my dog after it had cheese

[@emmabennett7699]

watching this video made me realize just how good high school musical looks visually compared to other dcoms. it even looks kinda cinematic

[@sfdjkdj43589stf]

"how am I supposed to fight a ghost" maybe its cause I'm high but that hit hard

[@coolybell123]

you inexplicably thinking that girls name was Big Crunch when it was actually Olivia... that alone warrants a sub from me.

[@ogto]

i'd just like to point out that Smart House was direct by LeVar Burton, if the film wasn't already trippy enough.

[@Nikkibuh]

katey sagal does some stellar voice work in it

[@ambermanna5830]

Oh my god it's such an interesting parallel to his own plotline in TNG where Geordi falls in love with the holographic Leah Brahms and then meets the real one and she doesn't live up to his fantasy girl who exists solely for his benefit

[@deannanewman7965]

Fun fact: the grandpa in Teen Beach Movie was the original Danny in the Broadway version of Grease. He is also Brad from Rocky Horror Picture Show

[@blastypie]

Oh thats awesome

[@terrence_zone]

5:18:10 oh my god and it's for a TEN DAY CONTRACT??? this is the real racism dcom

[@terrence_zone]

this was not in response to your comment thanks for commenting it

[@TacticusPrime]

That Rise of Red movie is definitely weird as fuck. It feels stream of consciousness almost. Like people sitting around a campfire making up a story piece by piece as they pass control of it around the circle.