BJJ Belt Jealousy: When they grade but you don't.

You work hard but got overlooked. You are as good as them but they get promoted and you didn't. Belt jealousy is real and how you view yourself compared to your teammates can really take the fun out of it. The key to viewing others' progress when you don't is to understand that not all belts are created equal and stripes don't equal skills.
- Working harder doesn't equal better results
- Comparison is the Thief of Joy
- Strive to progress, not Impress
- Make your level undeniable
We have all been there - not where we want to be. In order to really level up, JT & Joey talk you through what it takes to overcome Belt Jealousy.
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[@brennanweir9877]

As a just about 40 year old two stripe blue belt from Luca Atalla I’ve learned to not compare myself to others but to myself. When I walked in I knew shit as a white belt and I am no longer that person. Every sub or advertisement in position led to a knew insight and every loss taught me how strong I am cause I laugh it off and get right back at it. My main goal is to be a better me each day and I appreciate what my training partners bring to the next version of me.

[@TAuthorlee]

I watched this video maybe twice daily through 3rd-4th stripe on my white belt… (completely serious) Everyone watching take all this in, internalize this and keep working hard. Thank you guys so much for everything that you put into the jiu jitsu community gentlemen ^__^

[@blackbeltpanda8522]

Active Duty Military here, I’ve been a brown belt for 8 years. I have 3 kids and often can only make it to class once a week. It’s been difficult to stay with 1 school because I essentially move every 2-3 years. Skill wise, I give the black belts a tough time and often tap them. But because of my work schedule/family, I feel like I will never be given a black belt because I wouldn’t be able to give back to the gym in a consistent way. 🤷 As long as I develop skills and get to do this sport I’m happy. But…being a BB often means you represent the school.

[@MoshJunkie426]

I have a buddy like this, spent like 10 years as a brown belt and was in the Marine Corps, he ended up retiring and settling in my city and really showed high level skills, it wasn't but a year or so and he got his black belt

[@ChokeArtist411]

I had this same problem at white. Character building experience

[@jordanharrison2153]

This is a fantastic conversation. I will definetly be referencing this to myself on my way home from gym after I've been smashed (again) by my training partner. Thanks guys!

[@bulletproofforbjj]

Stoked you found it helpful!

[@tededo]

The new academy I'm actually attending has guys who get injured weekly or mothnly. My 16 yo son grappler asked me how I'm able to still grapple at 50. I told him, I roll injury prevention, and lift weights injury prevention. I also said to him, when those guys will be my age ? They wont be rolling anymore, I can garantee you that, and me, I'll still be rolling at 60.

[@bulletproofforbjj]

this is legendary! keep doing your thing. whats your key rolling for injury prevention strategy?

[@theodrake2394]

@@bulletproofforbjj how ? By rolling like a pansy

[@Igoriann]

I'm 35 and started again not long ago. I work out, have full time Job and I'm super fit. I don't push it like idiot on the matts and I care about my wellbeing. I also eat well, take supplements and have daily massages. That being said, for every day I go to bjj, I'm injured for a week. My right shoulder kills no matter how much time I take off or what I treat it with. My upper back is sore and limiting my movement. I stretch before and after but it's as if I don't do any of the above I've mentioned.

[@benjamindelfs2718]

You can be super fit and active.. BJJ wrecks us all

[@bobbydabutcha]

After four and a half years at White belt, and now two years as a Blue belt; it really doesn't matter. Just keep training hard, focus on improving and keep showing up as long as you're enjoying it. Period.

[@831liftingalot]

Thanks for these pods

[@tededo]

I have a huge guilty confession to make as a seasoned blue belt. 95% of my rounds vs white and vs blue belts I am going 60%. But each time I am rolling vs purple and brown, I go 90%. Results are amazing according to my instructors.

[@harrypocher84]

Great episode guys. 40 years old, 4 stripes white belt. I don't wanna be blue yet, my coloured teammates promised me to whoop my a$$ as soon as I'm promoted😂

[@af4396]

Everyone says leave your ego at the door, but I feel that saying it is much easier than living it. I've been at BJJ for over 2 years now, white belt. I still have to remind myself that losing a match is ok (obviously against higher belts, but also against your training partners and even newer people below you), feeling like I'm not progressing is ok if I just keep at it, comparing myself to others is stupid because they aren't me. I don't want anxiety when I roll, I want to have fun and to focus on myself moment to moment, and analyze what I could have done better. I'm getting closer to the "leave your ego at the door" breakthrough, but it feels like a mental workout sometimes to juggle the mission of improving and becoming a "true blue," and not taking it too seriously to where it eats you.

[@michaelebbage9166]

Better to be a good brown belt, than a poor black belt - and that applies at any level. A friend of mine stayed at white for longer than I'd have thought - I thought he was great. "Too good" for white! That's not a bad thing to have people think of you. Of course, he graded to blue shortly after. Become the belt before you receive it. 💪

[@Jiu-JitsuJourney257]

I always feel the Pressure is on when coach is watching. I just try to show him that his time invested in me is not wasted. Or at least that I’m showing improvement even if I’m getting my ass handed to me by a some big dude. Ultimately, I know I’ll get to my purple belt when he feels I’m ready. I’m certainly not talking to him about it though lol

[@bulletproofforbjj]

it's all about being coachable. Well done

[@tededo]

My instructor told me that in du time, I'll get my purple belt invitational. Right now, I told him, its not the belt color, it's what skill will get me there, even if I dont get that new color. The skill set is what will get me more respect, than to earn the new color, but all lower belts smash/sweep and sub me.

[@bulletproofforbjj]

@@tededo you have a good attitude around this. Focus on building your skill and your next belt will come.

[@thefreedomproject4777]

man, i am a 2 year white belt, when coach is watching sometimes i mess up, because i get selfconcius xD, this happens to me in tournaments 2, i feel like i am ready for that blue belt, but getting to much inside my head is holding me up lol.

[@bulletproofforbjj]

@@thefreedomproject4777 The only way to really improve is to stop thinking about what anyone else is thinking and put all your energy into doing your jiu-jitsu. Thinking outside of yourself is a distraction and what causes you to mess up. Gotta focus on whats in front of you! ( also give less F*cks.)

[@fitnessfuncody]

I think I generally expect a year extra if you change gyms. So they can actually get to know, and understand who you are and what you can do too.

[@Shikami85]

Quick question. .What if I actually want the opposite, to never be graded. Since I don’t care about rank nor tournaments and only interested to do bjj for life and self defence is it ok to ask my coach to just keep me at white forever regardless of my skill.

[@steelybojangles]

If you don't care then why would you not just take the belt if offered? Taking the belt creates no harm to you, but staying at white would create confusion to new whites (ie "why is this guy so good and I'm not"), and resentment when you eventually start beating coloured belts (ie "why am I getting smashed by this white belt").

[@bulletproofforbjj]

Thats a question for your coach! I'd say just take the coloured strap anyway - at least your training partner can know what to expect when rolling with you.

[@michaelnguyen8782]

Hey boys! Can i grab some advice on switching gyms? The gym I'm currently at is quite traditional and after training there for 3 months, I've realised that the atmosphere is not quite right for me, the upside is that its only a 10-minute drive. The other gym that I've trained at and really like is a 30-minute drive. In your experience, is the longer commute worth it over time?

[@randallcharles1061]

Try to advance with either belt or stripe before you move. Finish that promotion that you’re working towards to

[@bulletproofforbjj]

Hey Michael, thanks for asking. At the end of the day thats a question only you can answer. The reality sometimes is, that a longer drive may not be viable, which would mean the only gym you CAN actually train at is the one thats 10 mins away. That said, here's my personal take: I have driven 30-45mins consistently to continue training with my coach (Adam, of Alliance Sydney) while I have moved further away from it. I pass many other gyms to get there, however for me it's worth it. I strongly believe that enjoying your training journey and the individuals within it, is what will ultimately keep you in the journey. Take the drive, imop.

[@bulletproofforbjj]

also a good point. I wouldn't say this is essential (as the situation at current gym might be really negative), however it's a consideration.

[@michaelnguyen8782]

@@bulletproofforbjj Thanks for the comprehensive answer and appreciate all that you guys do for the community!

[@KazzArie]

I had belt jealousy until I competed :))

[@ianacorn5207]

This podcast could be a lot better without all the saliva sounds. Really great content but I see why people don’t watch it, it’s like hearing you guys chew. Nothing against your character or skill levels, just that no one wants to hear your saliva clicking on every word.

[@bulletproofforbjj]

We’ll back off the pre show gummies then