Black Men Speak On Men Marrying Women They Don't Love

[@ruthiewilder468]

As a former Pick-me, being there for a man NEVER ends well. Men are vampires.

[@NoNameToYou]

Seriously. Empathy is something that will get used against you every time by men. Just don’t do it.

[@ruthiewilder468]

@@NoNameToYouyup! I’ve had male relatives doing this already. They just don’t realize I am playing chess and their asses are playing checkers.

[@coolcat3452]

Am glad you came back to reality sister; congratulations to loving U!!!🥰🥰👍

[@kiterafrey]

And, sadly, the men who are vampires aren't the fun kind...🩸

[@Jus4-Us]

So, you have been with all men? If so, that may be why you're not successful in a relationship. If not, then your premise is totally false. Don't generalize all men because that would include your father, grandfather, your brother, your mother's father, and uncles. Your premise implies that everyman you ever knew and never knew are vampires, which you know is a bold face LIE!

[@Tracy_555]

Maids get paid. They want an unpaid slave.

[@azureavocado5195]

This is why women have issues with s3x workers. They get paid as well. Hetero women in trad pairings are cuuumdumpst3rs and slaves. Doing it all for free….

[@Blaaaah98]

They think the engagement ring should cover it😂 then you go try and sell it and it's worth $500

[@iwhippedcreamcode4642]

​@dayanadeleon5096 Tell them go buy a maid! Go Live Your Life.

[@Jus4-Us]

I bet your ancestors would a lot on that subject. What kind of men are you dealing with? Choose better. Like women, men come in all shapes, colors, sizes, and character.

[@bellavega8048]

@@Jus4-Usagreed, we need to choose better, that’s why I am married to a white man and he pays all the bills and I don’t even have to cook and clean😂

[@saraht8474]

Men in geeennneeral, cannot live by themselves. They need companionship, a female spirit in their house/home....even when they don't like/love her....😑

[@NomfundoV8]

True, true!! Extremely codependent beings.

[@9darshana]

Very true, cause when they don't have access to women they commit suic#de.

[@susannehuber3996]

Because they are not trained to do anything for themselves.

[@saraht8474]

@@susannehuber3996 I agree for most of men because theirs moms (specially moms) and dads did not teach them. Sad!

[@YouYou-sm8tf]

This is why in their music videos, they always want and need women in it. When they are rich or at the top of success, there is a need of a woman in their arms.... They need women to feel validated as a man.

[@COJAMALIK]

If there was not a societal stigma for being gay, I think more men would be in romantic relationships with other men🙄🙄

[@Sunflower_1818]

I think so too. It seems men are real friends with their homeboys. They will go to the end of the earth for them. They don’t hold the same space for women.

[@NoNameToYou]

💯

[@NoNameToYou]

A whole lotta red pills are just rainbow flags in disguise.

[@Thats_Sew_Shy]

My older friend once told me "All Men are gay" 😂 we laugh about it so much

[@jasoniag]

I disagree. Men wouldn't put up with the BS they dish out long term

[@sweetnessnani]

This is why I stay in the gym not the kitchen. I cook three days a week. My man hires a maid to com every 2 weeks. I ruined his T-shirts in the washer now I’m not allowed to wash clothes. He either loves me because of my looks or my personality lmao. Chess not checkers ladies. Get cute. No get drop dead gorgeous. Especially if you’re a black woman. It makes life easier

[@ailadacia9309]

Interesting comment “get cute, not drop dead gorgeous “ please elaborate

[@NoNameToYou]

Yep do something bad enough a few times and you won’t be asked again 😂

[@RecaJ333]

She said “get cute, no drop dead gorgeous” as in “get cute, no wait actually get drop dead gorgeous instead” hope that makes sense

[@aurora8749]

Um...so do what men do? Nah, I'd rather have integrity

[@sugarshannie623]

​@ailadacia9309 "get cute. No, get drop dead gorgeous."

[@booklover466]

Men will waste your time and energy instead of letting you go so you can achieve something greater or find someone better

[@Jus4-Us]

If you smart enough to know that a man is wasting your time and energy, then why does he have to LET you go, just leave damn it.

[@broco6608]

​​@@Jus4-UsTHISSSSS!! Women out here still blaming men for stuff they should just get up and do. If he's not physically making you do anything, get up and do it yourself, get up and leave if he's not literally forcing you to stay. Stop wasting your own time.

[@AlphaOmega-n7u]

​@@Jus4-Us Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. The Book of Corinthians, KJV.

[@Jus4-Us]

@@AlphaOmega-n7u The precept that you are quoting comes from the New International Version, not the KJV. Also, when we read the KJV for that scripture its actually talking about the importance of charity, and not necessarily love. It reads as such: "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." I do agree that charity is an act of love, and I would add that it starts at home with husband and wife, children, extended family, neighbors, and finally the broader community which includes church, mosque, temple, etc.

[@brunoqnzbk7891]

This right here. A famous DJ was stringing me along acting like he liked me, until I made a post on his social media. Next show, he professed his love for his gf. This chick had him declare it, not realizing how disrespectful he is to her on the low. She can have his old ass. I like them younger anyway 😂😂😂

[@misslola007]

Energy vampires.

[@sg5720]

This is why they get married - for a Maid. Then when the woman wants a divorce they act shocked. Sick of people playing with marriage. please if you can’t do the work needed to make a marriage healthy and happy please do not get married. 😌

[@queeniequeen949]

@@sg5720all of this. 🥰🙌🏾💯

[@mizzpoetrics]

And resource vampires!😒

[@eigna8914]

Perfect!!!!!!

[@Jus4-Us]

Proverbs 31:10-31 A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. Please read the remainder yourself.

[@fluffysox6072]

This is not just a black women issue. This is something women experience across the board.

[@SacramentalSims]

My brother outright told me a few years back, he goes for women that are less attractive because they'll do more and tolerate the absolute bare minimum. Not love, not because who she is, or how compatible they are, just her propensity to serve him dutifully and be his mommy. He finally married his girlfriend this year after putting her through the ringer for EIGHT years, she gave him her 20s. He promised he'd take care of her financially, but as soon as they married, and she moved across the country into his apartment, not even a month later he "lost his job" and she's been taking care of him ever since. She looks nearly 40 even though she's the same age as me, 30. I feel bad for her. I tried to warn her but "she's in love" and heavily trauma bonded at this point. She even converted religions for my brother and her family doesn't like him and doesn't even know they're married. She's completely isolated. It's depressing. I still try to help her and she comes to me for advice sometimes. I always tell her to look out for herself and her interests first. I hope she leaves him. What's even sadder is she went straight from living with her family to married and living with my brother. She's never owned her own place on her own or tasted true independence. My brother and I are friendly but we aren't close at all. After everything he's done to me over the years I refuse to have a male like this in my life, even family. I don't talk to him or see him unless it's the holidays. That's as much as I can tolerate. But I do thank him because if it weren't for his deplorable treatment and being a shitty brother, I would've had to learn male nature the hard way through being abused in someway shape or form in my dating life, and with the way my rage is built would probably be in jail for murder.

[@DestinyUteh]

I pray your sister in law know and worth. Am look out for herself

[@Jus4-Us]

Who raised him? Your mother I presume. That's what happens when single mothers raise boys without a father around. They usually ruin them because they baby them all of their adolescent and teenage years.

[@lakeeshadavis1583]

If you were really trying to help her you would have told her what he said about only dating unattractive women and why he said he does it.

[@CerseiLannister999]

My brother ALSO told me the same. In different sentences. He goes after single moms. Talks about how desperate they are. Out of my brothers he's more level minded. A woman wont have to worry bout her or kids being abused by this brother, but he def have motives...

[@Dashiaaa]

@@Jus4-Usthat’s not an excuse anymore y’all are too grown to still be blaming everything on mommy you make your own decisions

[@sylviabooze7122]

Black men make staying single so appealing.

[@Sociedadematriarcal]

Brazilians guys too no matter if he’s black or white.

[@Thats_Sew_Shy]

Is it black men or social media though? I try to stay positive but also can't lie about my experiences

[@Tyana-g6x]

@@Thats_Sew_ShyBM

[@Jus4-Us]

Stop lying to yourself. You know that all Black men aren't bad, just as all Black women aren't bad. If you like to swerve, then just admit it but don't blame your taste for vanilla on Black men.

[@fisf.2148]

Very true ❤

[@peacefreedom4930]

This is exactly why I don’t believe in women approaching men if they are looking for serious relationships. Men will accept almost anything someone is willing to offer up. The might not be attracted to you, they might not like you, they might not want a relationship, but if you offer yourself up on a silver platter they’ll “ play the game “ to extract any benefits.

[@gonegirl9114]

My cousin approached a guy flirting with him about his muscles. He now lives with her and drives a new car courtesy of her. She brags about him all the time. I already told her stop buying him stuff. You can’t tell how he really feels about you if you keep buying him stuff. Mind you that buffness was because he just got out of prison. He initially didn’t live with her. His momma died and he had no where to go so that’s when he moved in. He doesn’t work, he sells weed. Same thing he told my cousin he did 5 years in prison for. She has fought and argued with other woman over him. When he gets caught dealing with another woman. He tells her that he was only using her🤯🤯🤯. My cousin is ok with this explanation because she thinks she’s special and he’s not using her because he loves her.😩😩😩😩. She wants to marry this bum but he won’t marry her. She don’t know he’s doing her a favor. She’s 45 so she should know better. But the pickmesha spirit is strong in her.

[@peacefreedom4930]

@@gonegirl9114 45?!!!!!! Omg! I’m shook. WOW! I thought you were talking about a 20 something year old who doesn’t have the experience to know better. Your 45 year old cousin has me in shock. I’m just thankful you can see clearly and won’t follow in her footsteps. The man doesn’t love or care about your cousin at all. A man who loves her wouldn’t jeopardize her health (mental, emotional, physical), or safety. He wouldn’t live off of her. He’s using her.

[@Jus4-Us]

And most women will accept any man who has a lot of money, attractive, and shows them interest, even if he has the pick of the liter, they will still try to see if they can win him for themselves. What's funny though is that the same woman will usually have a "good" guy that is crazy for her and loyal but because is too "nice" and not enough "edge", she will dump him, crush him, to chase Mr. Bad Boy because she knows that if she can bag him, all of her friends and foes will be jealous and most women love to make each other jealous.

[@Jus4-Us]

Point is, both men and women "play the game", but it stops being fun when someone loses.

[@peacefreedom4930]

@@Jus4-Us Someone always loses. Most women don’t accept anything just because it’s offered. If they did, incels wouldn’t exist and red pillers wouldn’t be crying all over the internet.

[@trichmomma]

My ex-husband didn't like me, he felt a sense of duty to me. That cannot sustain a marriage. And yes he kept me around until I asked for a divorce.

[@toscadonna]

Yes, mine even told me he was there out of duty and obligation, and I told him that wasn’t enough. Because when they’re there just tolerating you like they’re doing you a favor by letting you be their wife, it’s so dehumanizing.

[@sallyhemings2295]

Jesus Christ!!! Wow 😮

[@karzymimi42]

I’m speechless

[@Jus4-Us]

Bingo! He kept you but you filed for divorce, not him. You divorced because he didn't like you? 😂 Listen, my parent were married for 55 years and my mother told me that she didn't always like him but she took an oath before God to be a good wife. See, she married my father but she made a promise to her God, and she kept her word as the.vows stated- through thick and thin, richer or poorer, through sickness and in health until death do us part. What part of those vows did you forget when you divorced that man over some b.s. You don't deserve a husband. Foolishness.

[@Jus4-Us]

What in the hellnis wrong with you women today? Ya'll done lost your minds and the fear of the Most High. Do you not understand that marriage is duty? We are commanded by God to get married, be fruitful and multiply and in that order. We listen to Satan and do it backwards. We say multiply first, then be fruitful (get my bag), then get married. Satan got many if not most of us on a hook and judgment is right around the corner. Damn. Damn,.damn.

[@jimmie4141]

Men can drain the hell out of you...better know your worth!!

[@anonymousanonymous870]

Exactly

[@Jus4-Us]

What is your worth without a man? A man is only half of man until he finds a wife and takes on the responsibility of a husband. And any woman who is able to be a wife, and a mother, and yet rejects it, holds no true value because the very basis of existing as a woman is to be a wife, and a mother. This is why whenever a woman cannot have children of her own, she craves it as if she missing a limb from her body. Why? Because its natural for a woman to be what God created her to be, not what society tells her she is (i.e., independent, feminist).

[@broco6608]

This is false. Every individual's highest calling and worth is not as a spouse or parent. It's to be a child of God whether single or married. Everything else is after coming to Jesus.

[@moniquefacey5760]

​@broco6608 exactly we were created to be led and used by God first and foremost

[@Jus4-Us]

@@moniquefacey5760 No. Women were created for the specific purpose to be a help meet for men. Gen. 2:18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet for him.” This is the essential purpose for a woman according to God's plan. Today, woman have chosen to not be what God intended, so they do what they want to do, despite what God created them for, and we shall reap whatever we sow.

[@l.a.perrotte9908]

Yesterday I said to myself 'men only appreciate women when they have needs that they want to be fulfilled' Smh. Pay attention ladies.

[@Jus4-Us]

And women don't? Yea, many men do treat women like a piece of meat. I can't deny that, however, many women treat men like free meal, a come up, or at the least, a new bag or a hair do. Point is, we have a tendency to use each other for what we need at a particular time but that is the western culture. There are many different cultures in this world that we can explore to find different norms and traditions that don't see women or men that way. Move around, the world is your oyster.

[@Jus4-Us]

Women dont seek men to get their needs fulfilled? When a women is strapped for cash, and her rent and car note or cell phone bill is due, will she not get cute, go to a club or call suga daddy, or the nice dude that she knows really likes her to get her needs fulfilled? When a woman wants to buy something that she cant afford herself but knows a man that can, will she not seduce or flirt or even lay down with a man to get her needs fulfilled? Women do the same things that men do, but for different reasons.

[@0hermitworm]

My problem with the people in the original video is that they're big talkers, but it doesn't feel like they did anything. Like...great. You made an excellent point that men settle just to get free labor. Did you ever tell those wives or girlfriends that they were being used? No? Can't ruin your boy's setup? Then you're still part of the problem. Men are the ones that have to hold each other to a higher standard. Zero points awarded.

[@susannehuber3996]

Yes!,,,

[@Spokentruths725]

One thing i finally woke up to was not only the fact that my father is a pos but also that he had friends and plenty of family who watched his actions yet said and did nothing. Yes they have most loyalty to their “boy” and keeping him happy instead of being real with him.

[@solaadventures2255]

I really like to watch the podcast this was taken from, and knowing the larger context, Preston Perry has spoken about mentoring younger Christian men and holding them accountable in how they treat women. He and his wife Jackie (in the video here) talk with a lot of admirable openness and honesty about their marriage, and I learn so much from them. If you haven’t checked out their podcast, check it out, it’s called “thirty minutes with the Perrys”” but they always went over 30 minutes so now I think its just called “with the Perrys” 😆

[@Ourown311]

@MsAverageChick that's why they all get the same karma. You won't be rewarded for promoting, condoning or allowing BS

[@ruthiewilder468]

A lot of these men secretly want to be these guys. In addition they like these type of guys keeping women in their place.

[@enmodelife]

The tell-tale sign they are only looking for a service worker is when you first meet them, they will literally ask about cooking and/or cleaning. A common one BM will ask (besides "can u cook?"), is "whatchu cook today?" or another sneaky way to see if you cook is asking "whatchu eat for dinner".

[@kmer3086]

Then asks why didn't you ask me over? I am going to start saying I have a chef that cooks for me. I have a cleaning service to clean too. When they ask how I can afford that, I will ask why can't you? You need to get your weight up.

[@kellarenna]

​@@kmer3086smart!! And I've always wondered why this question bothers me to my core so much. It's like they're sniffing me out to see what they can get from me

[@swiitdoll]

I tell them I don’t cook. Period

[@ImaginaryBackgroundSinga]

Putting me on game. Thank you!

[@G.G.276]

Tell ‘Em WHAT EVER YOU ARE BUYING FOR ME!

[@notorioushebrew4793]

These dudes are delusional if they think anyone has to be bothered with them and be their slave. Men are speaking out of both sides of their face. Set your boundaries and stand on them. If someone violates shut them down and off the first time. YOU teach people how to treat you and they will only do what you allow.

[@Jus4-Us]

The only slave driver you will ever know is a white man and woman. You work for them for a little money now but you giving 8 hours and some to get a weeks worth of wages to pay a months worth of bills. They make you work pay check to pay check with a 3 to 5% yearly raise if they like and don't write you up to avoid giving it to you. Yet, you don't get on line and say a damn thing about them. You feel so comfortable demeaning men, and I will go even further to add- BM. Most of ya'll dare to speak on the beast like behaviors of white men. All the crime stats clearly show that they are have the most domestic abuse cases than any other group of men but demeaning your brothers (i.e., BM) has never gone out of season. We easy targets for that because society does it all day, everyday. BW decided, hey, we angry anyway, so why not eat dem Nggrs too.

[@Luckimee]

They just aren't good men and nobody wants to be honest. Some of them are but a VERY small number

[@sg5720]

Yes, the things my hubby does for me - I thought for sure so many other men out here are like that. Boy was I WRONG. Now I see why my hubby and I only have a few friends. As I get older the more I am realizing hubby and I are just different how we handle our marriage. People be shocked when my hubby excited about coming home to me or hanging out with me, for me it is the Norm. We actually LIKE eachother and LOVE to be around eachother. Weird. Why marry someone you really don’t like.? Just causes misery no matter how much the woman does for the man, he still ain’t happy and neither is she. I’m so glad I done deal with this BS. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@broco6608]

Men lie a lot, but, women ignore a lot, too. Even when men do say or show who they really are and who they are is horrible, LOTS of women ignore that and stay.

[@MaroonRose3216]

@@sg5720congratulations, love. How long have you all been married??

[@Jus4-Us]

I guess that all depends on what you define as 'good' men. Women have been using that terminology for a generation, and yet, have yet to define what a good man is in their eyes. So, for the sake of clarity, please bless us with your definition of a good man.

[@Jus4-Us]

@@broco6608 If most men are so terrible then that implies that women are a better option for women. Meaning Lesbianism is the way forward for Black American women. Good luck!

[@NalaMahal]

I work with a guy who I often engage in these types of conversations. What I learned from him is that he hates “date night” with a passion. He hates that his girlfriend “makes” find a restaurant for them to go out every 2-3 weeks. But he religiously meets up with guys every Thursday a Applebees.

[@chrisharris2367]

him thats typical but sketchy

[@hereisayana8207]

Selfish

[@ivyofori]

😂😂

[@joejackson7601]

It's called the Patriarchal Order/male mindset/male offspring programming/training... male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses/sexual predators...

[@joejackson7601]

Males get their status from males not females aka male bonding aka the Brotherhood.

[@dw6317]

Dude with the beard doesn’t get it. The point of saying they don’t like women doesn’t always mean gay. It means they’d rather have intimate relationships with men and not women. And compromising shouldn’t mean you don’t like her. No one should be with someone they don’t like I don’t care the circumstances. Unacceptable. You don’t like her? Cool, remain single. Don’t like women and prefer men friends? Cool, stay single. Clearly us women are doing it everyday and don’t give a damn about society pressure to be married. How I know? Because we’re happier single and choosing it consciously.🤷🏽‍♀️

[@AnneSaluppo-t2p]

Thank you for that. I also noticed that it was just a way to derail a legitimate conversation about women's honest observations about men, and then managed to shift the focus to women being "homophobic"...why?? .... because we dared to notice that men prefer the company of other men over women?..... and treat each other better than they treat us? It has nothing to do with sexual orientation or gender identity and everything to do with how women are disliked and treated poorly by men. Never let ANY man dismiss your feelings, perceptions or observations!

[@karendaniel620]

Not sure what he's actually reacting to.

[@dw6317]

@@karendaniel620 his emotions. Because he made no kind of sense. He was all up in his hurt feelings.

[@deehines5750]

​​@@karendaniel620 He was responding to the woman in the clip that said that a lot of men marry women but their affection, time, energy and vulnerability is given towards men more than women. He turned it into a homophobia thing and a healthy male friendship thing when she wasn't questioning their sexuality. It was just about why they can build that level of comfort and effort with other men but not bother when it comes to women.

[@enken567]

Totally agree. It wasn't about centering homosexuality. His misogyny came out there.

[@shewoke9268]

I asked him why he loves me .. he sent me a long paragraph but it didn’t sound like him ..i googled some of the words and that exact paragraph he sent me was right there on google

[@lamia7891]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 im dead

[@anonymousanonymous870]

😂😂

[@tabbypanda82]

Damn🚶🏾‍♀️

[@issaknife3132]

Boys would do the same stuff in middle schools but with songs. They'd lie or cheat and to apologise would steal lyrics and poems. I read one from my friends ex-bf, and it was Ne-Yo lyrics...

[@lamia7891]

@@issaknife3132 HAHAHA "she got her own thaaanggg.."

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

Divorced mom here. Its not that big of a deal. He FAFO that my happiness isnt negotiable. We coparent and split guardianship and expenses for my child. I love it. Once you find out he doesnt really care anymore, leave. Its actually greener on the otherside.

[@isaidwhatisaid4130]

Same. Not having him in my life made life actually easier. I poured the attention into me that I was pouring into this man and he did not appreciate me. Explain to me how I was the better looking in the relationship and over time due to stress, anxiety and conflit I was losing my beauty while this man was glowing up?! Once I had enough and looked after myself and left Im looking even better than before and he is looking like a mess.

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

@@isaidwhatisaid4130 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@broco6608]

It's as simple as that.

[@soblessed4844]

🎯! I asked my husband of 28 years for a divorce once l realized that he no longer liked me and l was lonely in my own house. I’m healing now and l can breathe again!🧘🏽‍♀️Stayed married way too long before l realized l was enough by myself.

[@moniquefacey5760]

​@isaidwhatisaid4130 he was looking better because he was an emotional vampire... he was draining you.

[@observantsweetie]

The gay baldy is the reason why we say the gays are not absolved from misogyny, misgnoir, upholding patriarchy and toxic masculinity. He also needs to heal because no one said these men were gay or even insinuated it. That man was projecting.

[@biblethumper8088]

I think they're gay. Look at how excited the guy gets when he says guys can't stand the woman or her voice.

[@CalebTheOwlBoy]

​@biblethumper8088 what's wrong with you? Why are you conflating homosexuality with misogyny? That's not how this works.

[@legslikewhoa]

He made himself the center of a conversation that wasn’t about him or his folks.

[@TARAdubbleyuu]

Agreed.

[@biblethumper8088]

@@CalebTheOwlBoy conflating? This is the behavior y'all show us. It is not for me to sift through gay men to determine who isn't a misogynist. If this is the repeated behavior that y'all display to the world, then I can only conclude that gay men are misogynists.

[@asiahenry7798]

That's why you shouldn't date men who aren't your friend first. And if he's unwilling to be your friend, he's unworthy to be your romantic partner.

[@joejackson7601]

Facts, 54 married 27yrs and my wife is my best friend...No Children

[@blackhistorycomprehension8121]

She hit the nail on the head "men reserve their affections, time vulnerability to other men"!! Marry your friend

[@joejackson7601]

Facts, males get their status from males not females aka male bonding aka the Brotherhood...males are only emotional with each other.

[@thegazetteyt]

So many men who get all of their dating advice online don’t see women as actual human beings. Meaning, they don’t see women as people. They see their guy friends, his people, they’ll see the person who is helping them at the post office as a person, but the people that they are having sex with specifically women they do not think of as creatures with their own mind, their own desires, their own purpose, etc. etc.. When they put that type of sensitivity that they have for themselves onto their partners, then they will see them as people people. But until then, when they listen to these dudes online, they will see a woman as a maid and a child care person, and a surrogate for their children..

[@NoNameToYou]

Ding ding ding!!!!

[@joejackson7601]

Typical Patriarchal Order/male mindset... male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses/sexual predators...males have been programmed to see women as objects... something to use and throw away when they're done... it's extremely unfortunate that parents perpetuate this vicious cycle.

[@susannehuber3996]

This is sooooo true. You don’t want to know what I did for men. I did everything EVERYTHING for them, what I got was disrespect! I will let men die alone.

[@azureavocado5195]

Real question: did you ever do a fraction of the same for a woman? A female family member or friend?

[@voguehaven5154]

did you ever do that for YOURSELF? You need to love yourself first and always choose you.

[@winning3329]

Because most men are incapable of love. They even admit this.

[@dontburstmybubble686]

@@Jus4-Us Don't listen to a fool who doesn't even know the difference between "whose" and "who's" Anyway, men are not the problem, bad men and bad parents are the problem. I've met several men who would never pull any of the bullshit that you see many men pull on their wives. And the tides are shifting. Gen Z and millennials are imperfect but, on this front, at least more of them are willing to call people out on their bullshit. You can not control people but you can control your reactions and preparations. Build a strong support group and if any bastard, man or women (because remember internalized misogyny goes crazy) try to tear that group down, curb them. Study how to combat DARVO. And this is not to say you have to date ever again, or anything you just seem hurt and I want to say something before you go off on someone who doesn't deserve it.

[@OnlyLilynn44]

@@Jus4-Us You tried it dusty. Even if she only been with 2-3 dudes she would still spell ‘Men’ in the plural sense because it’s more than one. But I forgot dusties don’t know or understand grammar and word structure. Even if she had been with 100 different dudes, it doesn’t change the nature of the Men she’s been with. Y’all always try to find a way to distract people from the real issue (Men) by doing mental gymnastics in order to blame women. Your dumb comment is boy math coded.

[@thesecretshade]

When they ask you right away if you live alone....every single date I've had. They also try to figure out how much you make, saved, and assets you have. My ex gave $50 tips to mechanics and random strangers. My money. Until I was broke and pregnant. Boy was that a life lesson.

[@ruthiewilder468]

That’s when I would respond “are you looking for a roommate? Is that why you are asking?” If he says no or “I’m just making conversation.” I will say “so you are making conversation about whether I live alone? Hmmmm that’s kind of weird.” Then I will get quiet. 😂😏

[@sensimania]

​@@ruthiewilder468Good! The best way to deal with that type is to make them feel feel uncomfortable for trying that b.s 😅

[@aurora8749]

Ty for this tip. I noticed a lot of broke men get REALLY interested in me as soon as they find out I am a single mom and I pay for all my own stuff with no help from their Dad....

[@Jus4-Us]

t Hold up! You said that you gave your ex money to pay tips in the amount of $50? Are you serious? So, you mad at him because he asked you to pay people tips at a rate of $50 a pop? You should be mad at yourself for giving him your money to begin with. You didn't have to give him anything, especially more than once. When a man loves a woman, she never has to ask him for anything. He will automatically give her what he has, and if he doesn't have it, he will go get it and give it to her. Your problem is not the men who choose to be with you but the men you choose to be with.

[@aurora8749]

@@Jus4-Us stop victim blaming. Men are sketchy. I have an ex that used to steal my money too. He was a wonderful seeming guy...at first

[@somebodycomelistentothispo7217]

What’s sad is women know this but lie to themselves just to be with a man 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@broco6608]

Happens ALL the time. Then they blame the men for the fact they chose to stay, even though the guy didn't force them to stay.

[@hereisayana8207]

If her father or brothers didn't teach her this stuff ( or very smart and strong women in her family) and the signs then she won't know....what standards she should have as a woman or exactly what a man should be doing in the beginning to show that he values her etc.... when a woman wasn't taught this stuff ( the way some fathers adamantly do) then a man can easily manipulate her

[@hereisayana8207]

​@@broco6608that's a good way to appease your conscience... I bet you will teach your daughters to be protected from this but blame the women that did not have this influence in their lives

[@fjones5890]

Yes, women have intuition but silence it out of desperation and or being taught not to listen to it

[@dragonslayer616]

And they wonder why most of them are single.. smh

[@dorisx1705]

How about these so-called men just say how they feel. And then the woman can go on with her life. She is not the problem, it’s you.

[@azureavocado5195]

The women who lay to have a roof over their heads are the problem. They are the ones creating these dudes and boosting/enabling them.

[@Jus4-Us]

Woman say they want the truth but when men tell them the truth, most cannot handle it and some become quite violent and vindictive towards those men. I've known men who have lost their jobs, sugar in they gas tanks, busted windows, houses broke in, even they children threatened by these crazies who say just tell me the truth. You can't handle the truth. Be honest for a change.

[@broco6608]

Some men are quite honest or obvious about the negative or unavailable person they are and lots of women still want to be with them. Then the women want to blame everything and everybody but themselves for settling for a bum.

[@hereisayana8207]

​@broco6608 verbally telling a woman that you don't want a relationship now BUT treating her like you like her, giving her attention and pulling at her insecurities and abandonment issues to make her fall in love and want him is still manipulation and using a person... nice try though... it's lying through your actions and putting on a fake persona

[@hereisayana8207]

Then they wouldn't get the benefits if they're honest

[@gapeach14]

I remember watch an interview of lady that was 100 plus years. And people asked her what’s her secret to living a long life her response I never got married because men stress you out. She said she had flings every now in then and that’s it.

[@bluesbulletin]

Once on a first date, he started talking about having his shirts ironed as something he looks for in a partner. He was passionate about this. He named a few more chores. Franky, I was bored and scared. I never went out with him again. This was also the moment I realized I was done dating for the most part.

[@KevonnieElaine]

That’s hella weird because it’s not even a personality trait 😭. That’s basically a task, he wanted a maid.

[@Jellybean_j99]

“I was bored and scared” 🤣

[@mjspyt7777]

This is so true, my parents have been married for 44 years and HATE each other, they don't even LIKE each other! I remember being young and my mom working full time and coming home having to cook and clean for him. They can't be in the same room together or they'll start fighting, one little comment and it's WWIII. I asked my dad what he loved about my mom and he went through a list of things that made her sound like servant. Never did say he liked her personality, her drive to be successful, not even her beauty. When I talk to her she complains every time about how lazy he is and I tell her she married him this way and catered to his every needs, do you think he's going to change? When I mention divorce she's too scared to do it because that's the only man she's known..it's really sad.

[@MissKashira]

The last guy was talking about what the woman said, when she said that men seem like other men more than they like women. The implication being hinted at was that men are gay. And she was saying that to lowkey diss men. Perhaps you didn't notice it. That's what he was responding to. And while it's true a lot of men prefer men's company over women, that's because they are socialized to view other men as people, while they are socialized to view women as objects. Who wants to befriend their dishwasher?

[@TARAdubbleyuu]

I think it's interesting you don't see the homoerotic aspect of our bro culture. You describe it pretty well. Seems to me that the lady you mentioned wasn't lowkey dissing those jokers; she was just calling balls and strikes, so to speak.

[@eldritchbeauty]

Yep, exactly. Yes, there are some men who are indeed gay and in these relationships for their own various reasons, but I think it's a dangerous line of thought to chalk up this behavior to "these men are just gay!" We've all been socialized to view men as real people, with thoughts and feelings and wills of their own, while women are accessories. It is changing more now, thank goodness, but that thought is still very prevalent in modern society.

[@TARAdubbleyuu]

@@eldritchbeauty If I'm not mistaken, the phrase used was "preferring the company of men". Gaming, fantasy football, poker/gambling, porn sharing, the "bros over hoes" attitude, etcetera. The comment wasn't about closeted gays. That's what certain folks heard, but it wasn't what was said. The phrase used ("preferring the company of men") is about the turning of anything "feminine" into the "other", so that among men, there is a shared jocular contempt for women (the word "jock" comes to mind). It's a club, and we aren't in it, as George Carlin said lol. Fr though, it is about reducing women to Mommy McBang Maids, and not really wanting to interact with them much outside of that ... aka "preferring the company of men".

[@joejackson7601]

​@@TARAdubbleyuuyou are correct, it's called the Patriarchal Order/male mindset due to the male offspring programming... male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses/sexual predators...males get their status from males not females aka male bonding aka the Brotherhood...they support and teach each other rapes and males are only emotional with each other...Dr. Laila Afrika Holistic Sex Relationships @1:20:00 and 1:39:00...a man will tell women the programming of males.

[@divineapology818]

So, they just need to get their money up so that they can hire a maid, a chef, and occasional poom poom.

[@madamered9604]

Ppppp0”"

[@Sssss-hu3ej]

They want the poom everyday but they dont have the money for it, thats why they want to find women for free 😂

[@mizkomunikation9478]

@22:54 “[Men] are told they are not allowed to have emotions…” …and it was men who told them that. I am tired of these males suffocating themselves with their own rules of manhood and then blaming their self-inflicted stress on women who never told them to do ANY of that. Part of the POINT of being in a relationship is having someone to confide in. Instead of treating relationships like a safe space to be vulnerable, men treat it more like a theater where they play a macho character that’s not who they really are to the detriment of everyone involved.

[@toscadonna]

Newsflash…little girls were also told to shut up and stop crying, or “I’ll give you something to cry about!” We’re shamed in school and work if we cry, too. We’re told that we’re “crying like a little girl,” “running like a girl,” “throwing like a girl,” etc. Everything associated with being female is shamed and lambasted in this world, yet somehow women survive this and don’t turn psycho like males do.

[@georgina4874]

🫶🏾🫶🏾💕💕 MizK

[@Jus4-Us]

Actually, most of what Black American men learn about emotions comes from their mothers. Remember, over 70% of black children in the US are raised by single Black mothers, and this has been going on since the 70s. We 5 decades in and millions of black men were taught to deal with their emotions by a woman, not a man.

[@Jus4-Us]

Part 2: When black fathers were in the homes prior to the 70s, we did not have the issues among Black men that we see so prevalent today. We did not have the mass incarceration, the broken family structures, the crime, the gangs, and all the other negatives that are destroying black families. it was all by design and continually demeaning each other is not the fix, it's what's expected we would do once the disease of self-hatred spread to a vast majority of our people. We are almost at a point of no return, and the saddest part of it is that we are the ones doing the cuttiing on ourselves. It's truly a sad demise to watch.

[@Jus4-Us]

@@toscadonna It's psycho to think that you are normal and nothing is wrong with you as a BW raised in western culture. This culture got you women thinking that you always right, can''t be corrected, and are good. It's all deception and devil's pie. Ya'll so messed up in this society it don't make no damn sense. When a woman can walk into a public place and boldly proclaim, "Imma get my coochi scratched in London tonight", she and all of those who support her are crazy as a bed bug. When a woman can inject a chemical in her face to give off the appearance that she was hit with a brick and blame on a random dude who doesn't exists, and scam people to send her money, she is beyond pyscho, and the women who supported her ain't too far away from it either.

[@OnlyLilynn44]

I asked my boyfriend why he loved me and he said : “I love you because you’re a good person, you’re funny, you’re an active listener. You don’t judge or look down on people no matter what they go through or who they are. I feel comfortable opening up to you and expressing my feelings. I love your softness and your soft skin and you also treat me like a King and I’ve never been loved like you love me and I appreciate you for that. I also love your presence. I feel at peace with you. We share the same value and morals, which is important” He’s a black man from Chad 🇹🇩 What do you ladies think ? Are these good reasons ?!

[@iwhippedcreamcode4642]

You treat him like a King? Is He One? If Not You better remember YOU ARE A QUEEN! AND DESERVE THE BEST!

[@Jus4-Us]

I am not a woman but my take on this may be of value to you from a man's perspective who has three daughters. His words were kind. They were considerate, thoughtful, and measured. He said all of the things ANY woman would want to hear her man say and some men know how such words can affect a woman emotionally. That's not to say that he didn't mean what he said, however, if you have to seek an opinion about what he said from someone else, then you already got your answer because what he said should have already been validated by what he does.

[@AlphaOmega-n7u]

Ask him to tell you about Jesus the Christ. Ask him if he believes that Jesus is God. If he says no, to the second question, run. If he is offended at the first question, run. Even satan is charming, and can say all those things. If he is not in love with Christ, he will not be able to love you properly. That's the truth.

[@Jus4-Us]

@@AlphaOmega-n7uI'd rather ask Christ himself if he is God. Let's ask the Messiah if he is God. Master, I humbly request that you tell us if you are God: Jesus replies: "I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me." (John 5:30); "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time." (1 Timothy 2:5-6); "Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God." (John 20:17); "And a certain ruler asked him, saying, Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God." (Luke 18:18-19). I got the message loud and clear master. You are NOT God. You are the SON of God, and there's a BIG difference. Thank you.

[@haydenmary4849]

i like his response! it seems honest; one thing though..he said that you treat him like a king; does he treat you like a queen? he said the right thing; does he do the right things for you, too; talk is cheap

[@Blaaaah98]

Alot of these males just see the labor they can get out of your back. If you got strong bones and muscles to labor and give him children. And if you can just shut up. Then theyll get you that ring and that ring will cover everything he is about to put you through. 😢 And its sad when a married woman tries to belittle unmarried women or single mothers as if they are "unlovable" when in fact they are the smart women who knows when to love herself more than a man.❤

[@kaycampbell364]

exactly......they're jealous of our freedom

[@Jus4-Us]

"A lot of these males?" Has any "male" that you know forced you to have his children? Has he forced you to labor for him? Do you go into relationships with a hidden agenda to trap a man into marrying you, and that's why you play the perfect girlfriend, doing all the things that you think a man would want from a woman in order to marry her? I ask because a lot of "females" do. Men do it too but they do it to get something less than a wife, and once they get it, it's a done deal. The point I'm making is that when we start with games, somebody will get played. It becomes a tragedy when an innocent child is created from it. That outcome seems to be the normal story in our community and it's self-destructive and shameful.

[@Blaaaah98]

@@Jus4-Us if anyone gets "trapped" it's women. And I agree with you alot of the relationships are not being taken seriously and it's all little dumb mind games. Once again, thanks to media especially music, from both genders, talking about hoes, guns, drugs and WAP. Lol. That's what's out there. And when you're young and naive young lady these guys will take you for all that you got. So all the ladies out there don't fall for the marriage trap! Enjoy your twenties! Or life should I say❤️

[@Blaaaah98]

@@Jus4-Us and to answer your question about my personal life, no I am not and have not been the type of person to have any hidden agendas. With me it's all clear and what you see is what you get. I don't have enough energy in my soul to beat around a bush or plot or do any mind games or physical gestures to run any type of game on anyone, that's exhausting and not to mention narcissistic. Not me.

[@Jus4-Us]

@@Blaaaah98 It is said that we don't attract what we want, we attract what we are. It is also said that circumstances are only a mirror that we have created by our own actions to show us WHO WE ARE. It is also said that most of us reject the truth about ourselves, although it is staring us right in the face.

[@queenlj12jax97]

I am so sick of relationship and marriage advise coming from the pulpit. Pastors and preachers have had their say for generations now, and partnerships formed within the guidance of the church turn out to be just as disastrous as those outside of church. Also, has anyone noticed that most of the advise coming out of religious institutions has about 97% of correction for the women, and hardly any at all for the men? GTFOH!

[@joejackson7601]

Because All religions are of the Patriarchal Order/male mindset which says... female offspring are to be sex slaves, maid servants and baby bearers aka the kitchen and the bedroom aka compete and fight over and for stud horses/sexual predators and male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses/sexual predators.

[@Balgees24]

Yes. This true. My ex fiance confirmed this to me after he reached out to me after years. I told him that his problem and never contacted me again.

[@hereisayana8207]

You mean he told you that he didn't like you ever?

[@shantavanee]

This is so true! U have to enjoy each other’s company for a relationship to have a chance at survival. How can u lay down next to someone you don’t even like…let alone marry?!

[@BolU88]

That’s the part that freaks me out. They’ll just go on secretly hating you but living in close quarters with you. And they’ll do it for YEARS!!!

[@Jus4-Us]

How can you lay down with someone you not even married to? This is where we lose the blessing of having a meaningful and everlasting relationship. I know its traditional and many do not honor tradition in these days and times, however, one can't be so blind not to see how our rejection of traditional values has led to an overwhelming increase in children being born out of wedlock and single-parent households.

[@vacaspen4002]

It was men who chose not to cry in public and to legally put his wife in an institution and hospital if doing so. So he can't complain about the negative side of that when he created it but also it's not a good thing for any human to cry in public

[@Tee-Star]

Ive heard men say," i want you to be my mom, dad, sister, brother...my everything " RUN 😂

[@redrock740]

Mothers need to stop worshipping their sons. Mothers need to force their sons to learn how to cook, clean, do yard work, worship god, learn how to care for the sick, and be kind and considerate to everyone. If boys were raised to look after themselves, then they wouldn't be searching to replace their mothers (aka servants) with a wife.

[@joejackson7601]

Facts, male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses/sexual predators... play play play aka sports aka male bonding activities.. play play play aka destructive and non constructive behavior/irresponsible... you are correct , it's to the rearing stages.

[@The_paciente]

And this is why I stay single

[@tranquility9325]

Dude with the beard has no clue that many narcissistic men are BISEXUAL.

[@maam-yj8ph]

Exactly. Gotta have all the supply they can get.

[@tranquility9325]

@@maam-yj8ph very much so.

[@evangeline1983]

Gross. I’m so glad I never married.

[@garymoore3384]

I don't think ANY man is missing out on anything by u choosing not to marry. I can assure these 2 women catering simps don't know all men and their relationships. Take it from a man that is happily married for 9 years and doesn't treat his wife like a maid and actually enjoys talking to her about a variety of things. I don't always agree with her but we can have different opinions and still get along or argue, then have sex later and laugh and forgive each other an hour later LoL. I Feel sorry for some of u that will never experience real love.

[@meiimacca4054]

​@@garymoore3384 blahblahblah, same old nonsense. Go prop up your bros

[@garymoore3384]

@@meiimacca4054 ------- stop being mean to me with hate speech. I am reporting ur comment to KZbin 😡

[@umberwyld]

@@garymoore3384😂😂😂😂😂😂He said “real love” 😂😂😂😂😅😅😅

[@azureavocado5195]

Stop responding to these dudes on yt. They will just flag/report/censor you. That’s why all of these women’s channels are being taken down. Y’all do NOT learn😂

[@IamDestinygirl]

I'm so glad I've gotten and understanding at an early age..if someone showed me by their action or even hearing it outta their moth that they didn't like me, I stayed away from them..ur a danger to me and u don't have my best interest at heart..i feel like it comes from childhood trauma wen ppl that marry or be in relationships with ppl that showed them time again that they genuinely dislike/hate them..its a insecurity, and to the one and if u kno u don't like that person and u using them for whatever reason ur a sick person💯

[@azureavocado5195]

Good for you. A lot of the women have wasted/lost their entire lives without ever arriving at that realization.

[@bridgettedenise]

They are all on dl

[@lewid019]

I don't think thats it. It's because they don't see women as people but objects

[@HappyBeeTV-BeeHappy]

Ha! 😆

[@GGGG-uj1no]

​@@lewid019have you checked the HIV stats in the African American community?.. married black women specifically..I once had a gay white guy tell me he hates it for black women cuz "we're gettin' a raw deal"...he said he thinks like 80% are DL..They creep every which way then go home to their women and children to suffer their consequences with them

[@TIAOFNEBULA]

Black men need to pack up these mikes ... I'm begging at this point for them to say NOTHING ELSE.

[@TititoDeBologay]

Nah they need to put out thesaurus so they can be avoided and left to their own devices.

[@dinkyboss]

Nah let them talk and maybe these delusional ass women will start listening to what these men actually think and not their silly theories. It’s needed to see the truth

[@ladybug3380]

Nah let them keep talking, hopefully black women will wake tf up.

[@khrisi9410]

I appreciate them exposing themselves. Affirms my decision to leave these Misters alone.

[@Ourown311]

Actually I'm enjoying them telling on themselves

[@Emilyb21-dm3bf]

Love this kind of program. In the early 70s they had awareness groups that had women coming together in houses and opening up about their lives with men and it started the second wave of feminism. I feel like this is thr same but global. Its painful but very much needed so women know its not them its systamatic

[@iwhippedcreamcode4642]

Don't Worry Ladiez! Life will teach" these types " Real Lessons of HUMILITY! .

[@hereisayana8207]

For example

[@denishabernard7537]

“Love” without like isn’t real. It that case love just means attachment or codependency

[@NafisaSophia]

Why did the bearded male even bring up same sex attraction? Who mentioned that? It wasn't even apart of the conversation until he brought it up. The males protest to much.

[@lavonsiasmith5767]

I said the same thing! Who brought up g*y tendencies? How did he wind up in the conversation??

[@Alex-mc5yn]

It's to deflect because the comment struck a nerve

[@purposefulltea]

@@Alex-mc5yn FACTS! I was like he prolly swing that way and it struck a very triggered nerve

[@NoNameToYou]

😂 right

[@SacramentalSims]

That guy actually has a youtube with his wife who is a stud lesbian that found Jesus and has now renounced her homosexuality, and is now married to him. All of her content is about how she turned away from living a gay lifestyle, so yes he brings up lgbt A LOT because he's married to a re-closeted, ashamed, lesbian stud. I feel kinda bad for her. Religious patriarchal shaming tactics did a number on her and stripped her of her sexual expression and freedom. It's 2023 there's nothing wrong with being a lesbian.

[@la_julz]

I know this is true coz a guy left a girl that did everything for him to get with me and I did zero for him... Its really sad. She was cooking, cleaning, mothering him, calling him, paying for trips, willing to have his baby before he even married her, kept chasing after him even when he would treat her wrong and he still dropped her. Taught me a lot. Long story short, I didnt accept him coz the way she was desperate had me fearing she might do something to me spiritually when I wasnt even the problem, he was cheating on her and I didnt even know. Ladies, respect yourselves. Leave these men alone.

[@nemiaether]

This all starts in the formative years at home… mothers & fathers (especially mothers) gotta ditch that “boys will be boys” mentality and start teaching their sons to be self sufficient and hold them accountable

[@joejackson7601]

You got it... you are sooo correct... male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses/sexual predators... play play play aka sports which are male bonding activities.... play play play aka destructive and non constructive behavior/irresponsible.

[@Blaaaah98]

Stop blaming single mothers for these men trying to use women as maids. A single mom usually teaches them to cook and clean as well as yard work because she is busy cleaning and cooking for them all a while telling them to look at how hard it is for her because she is raising them alone and they better not use a woman or abandon their offspring in the future. So stop blaming single mothers. These guys are coming out of two parent homes where they see their dad treat their mom like that.

[@Iknowyoulovethischannel]

Very true! My ex came from a two parent household where his dad did nothing but work but his mom did everything including work. He thought I was going down that road, I quickly exited 😂

[@soimsayin]

This issue is everyone's definition of marriage is difference. This is why it's important to get premarital counseling and define what your marriage will be so you are not blind sided.

[@Jus4-Us]

I cannot condemn nor condone premarital counseling because it's a social construct promoted from academics. Like the SAT exams, it's designed to fit Western culture from a Eurocentric perspective, and not necessarily from the dynamics that affect most Black American lifestyles. This is why our community has the lowest marriage rates and the highest divorce rates, but yet, the highest rate of children born out of wedlock. Our value system leans away from marriage altogether, and that explains why we suffer so many curses. We are going against what we know is right, and we shall reap what we sow.

[@kitkatbar3871]

Ive seen situations where the husband barely interacts with the family. Most of the guys i know who did get married were like welp it time for me to get married and just married the woman at that moment

[@healthfactoryy267]

What most women don’t realize is that men are natural Settlers: they (some/many) don’t have to be emotionally invested in their chosen mate. That’s the reason why a lot of “good family man” doesn’t know their kids ages, school names, birthdays etc or wife’s emotional and personal information. Women ended up feeling lonely but they can’t put their finger on what’s wrong. And not all men are lazy or want a maid, but they could literally choose any woman, because they’re not emotionally invested in that particular person. Sex and food and they’re set. For some a few children and they feel likabman

[@moniquefacey5760]

Are you a male? This is precisely so!

[@healthfactoryy267]

@@moniquefacey5760 Not a male, but I started to observe more

[@leona2222]

100% accurate. On the nose.

[@spiritualbaepodcast]

Never self sacrifice & stay away from organized religion-they perpetuate this ish.

[@AlphaOmega-n7u]

Partly true. Yes organized religion? Yes A true disciple of Christ, no. Any man who is in love with Christ, will be led to love. Why? Because love is the greatest fruit of the Holy Spirit. Ephesians 5:25-33 KJV "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." What is Love? Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. The Book of Corinthians, KJV.

[@LaDyLuCk909]

As a child i heard my father tell my oldest brother. Who has another mother that he hated my mother....soo i wasn't shocked when he told her to her face that he never loved her..i will never forget that. But she still cooked and cleaned for him.

[@MaroonRose3216]

That’s traumatizing. I hate that that happened to you.

[@CaramelCali]

Wow

[@hereisayana8207]

What did he hate about her?? That she was too nice and kind? I notice a lot of them hate this type too

[@coolcat3452]

I keep saying it; am so glad women are finally waking up!!….most women often fall into men’s bs b4 they realised!! Be wise ladies!!❤❤❤❤

[@bridgettedenise]

I liked that old woman comments

[@Lightreign888]

This is it‼️‼️‼️‼️ Great light 💡 to shine on what’s really going on. They wonder why these women are initiating divorce. She broke out your pathetic spell, she is NOT happy, you are abusive on all levels and married for all the wrong reasons,. Accurate many men have these egos that are destroying them entirely and they can’t seem to get it. It’s bizarre.

[@The_paciente]

It is sooo simple to walk away, yet these dudes decides to stay and drag someone for life .

[@broco6608]

This is what this should say: Women, it's so simple to walk away, yet you decide to stay and let these dudes drag you for life.

[@deborahgardner7862]

If you believe you chose the wrong partner man up, tell the woman, instead of dragging it out, talking negative about it to your friends, and she knows nothing, just unsuspecting going about her life, then one day you leave, and everyone knew but the one that should have known, her.

[@KJOURNEY]

It’s amazing to me to hear men saying what they can’t do and societal rules… Um dude this is a patriarchal society rules created by men as a man change them and not lean on them as a crutch

[@thesacredbombshell]

The "random" Jesus is because they are Christian content creators lol. I think she also is either some type of minister or public speaker. Just to clear it up for folks curious. I do also find it interesting how people seem to be offended by the word Jesus but are not by other random religious things that are in the main stream.🤔🤷🏾‍♀️

[@TARAdubbleyuu]

As the saying goes, "You get the most flak when you're over the target."

[@evelyn1817]

Grew up dreaming that was the Cinderella, ultimate goal, and then.. I WOKE UP!!.....................

[@Pivit3119]

Personal integrity WILL HIT HOME BIG TIME. ❤ I told someone close to me years ago that he is going to have to accept and be in a relationship with someone that he doesn't love because he's always FN over good woman, so when he's done that will be his only pick 😊 LADIES PLEASE WATCH OUT FOR MEN CODE. We have love, lived, done and done and done and 9/10 we find our selves in these situations. I had a step father and he never told me the truth. Steve, wrote a great book and told half truths, the power will always be in GUY CODE, period. "A man already knows what he's going to do once he's in a relationship with you", that's only ONE guy code.💛

[@joejackson7601]

It's called the Patriarchal Order/the Brotherhood.

[@queenchiomaofficial]

These men should tell these women….so these precious women can leave these men and get on with their lives and be happy as women don’t deserve to be with these kind of men who just take, take, take. Women make sure you are prayerful to ask God who you should marry. Trust him to be your matchmaker. May God give us good men that will treat us well.

[@slickmcsass]

That like vs love thing hit my spirit HARD!!!! I actually had a heated conversation with my father one day, and I told him "I KNOW YOU LOVE ME, but you don't like me or the decisions I make as an adult". I think it hurt his feelings, but it helped understand where I was coming from. His dislike of me tainted the love he has for me; we are in SUCH A BETTER PLACE now. Thank God.

[@RedDragonsRme]

It's not even like they're doing companion marriages where everyone gets what they want. It's just lying and complacency and non communication about what you really want in a relationship. it's weird as hell, my step dad did that. Lied for 6 months until my mom married after his last wife left him then changed immediately after the marriage. Refused to even eat unless she served him the plate at the table, if not, yelled at her for not feeding him. It's weird dude. He's said for as long as I can remember that he doesn't even like her or love her. Only when he's done wrong or wants something will he say it. To smooth things over so he doesn't have to listen. Also when I say "lying" I mean he would tell her sweet things, hold her hand, tell jokes, etc. She literally said he would make jokes, I have never heard that man say one joke in my life.

[@ruka939]

I hope she left him!

[@shauntikayvette]

I wish homosexual people would DECENTER themselves. This is a conversation about marriage and not homophobic. The comment Jackie made is about men desiring their friendship part of intimacy from their friendship groups and favor male friendships over their mate, in the clip she didn’t reference sex and I didn’t read that out of it. Some men value women only in their gender role and can’t see them as their equal

[@NoNameToYou]

I’m straight and unrealized homosexuality is definitely relevant here.

[@shauntikayvette]

@@NoNameToYou There are non homosexual men that enjoy spending time with their homeboys and value those friendships more than their mates.

[@joejackson7601]

Dr. Laila Afrika Holistic Sex Relationships @1:20:00 and 1:39:00 goes into detail why males enjoy the company of each other.

[@jennny22233]

I can see where the gay man is coming from . I don’t like how a lot of women are saying some men have an undiagnosed learning or social disability. As a special needs parent, that is offensive bcs it is coming off like they’re picking on the community just to excuse their issues. Like no stop diagnosing these men and coming up with theories. they’re telling you sometimes they just don’t like you fr .

[@dinkyboss]

This! These women will go through so much mental gymnastics trying to deny the obvious. These men don’t like women

[@divineapology818]

As an Mh professional, I can confirm that a lot of them do have issues. When I councel couples, I would say about 40% of the time, the men seem to lack emotional maturity, basic empathy, and understanding of how to build and maintain a mutually beneficial relationship. So many men in our community are not socialized properly due to the lack of healthy male influence. And now with the power of social media, I don't think that their trajectory will improve at all.

[@aprilm4423]

Why? That's the biggest reason these men can't function for themselves: They have some (learning/social/emotional/psychological) disability. Where do you think disabled kids go?(The ones who don't get killed?) The hit the street, grown now! Then they hook up with us and we DON'T KNOW IT. No labels them, for sure!Diagnosed or not 🚫. If they weren't born with this, then they become so because of chronic drug use. The woman doesn't figure it out for quite awhile, especially if the sex is good--which it usually is. The sex is good because he has a lot of (too much!) experience. WHY does he have too much experience? Because he's for sale. Period. That's the reason women don't have a 'partner'. He's too emotionally disabled for it. Nobody's trying to rag on people's struggles raising disabled kids. God bless 🙏.

[@trichmomma]

​@@divineapology818thank you for that input

[@jennny22233]

@@divineapology818 but are you diagnosing them with a learning or intellectual disability? I didn’t say they didn’t have mental issues . I’m just talking these girls calling them special ed .

[@vicentia1]

An ex boyfriend of mine, after only two weeks of dating turned up at my door with two full black dustbin liners. Curious and somewhat surprised I asked, what do you have in those black bags? Happily, smiling from cheek to cheek he told me he's brought me his dirty laundry to wash. In shock I said we only been dating for two weeks, are you tripping? He then got really defensive and said, he knows loads of women that would LOVE to do his laundry. I told him you best go and take it to them then. He about turned on his heels and left with his 2 bags of dirty laundry. After my initial shock. 😂😂😂

[@rrrj7816]

They also need the woman’s income with all of the labor and child bearing and rearing that she’s doing!

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

It's more important to like your partner than to love them. Liking your partner means that you are interested. Liking your partner is what keeps you interested in getting to know them; know their joys, their tears, their dreams, their goals, so that you can support them the best you can. Then love enters. Love is not a feeling or an emotion, it's an action. Love is sacrificial, it's giving. Are men capable of love if they can't like?

[@AlphaOmega-n7u]

What is Love? Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. The Book of Corinthians, KJV. If they don't know and love Christ, they don't know love.

[@joejackson7601]

Correct, the respect comes 1st

[@deborahgardner7862]

For some reason, women forget, you teach men how to treat you. When you’re dating, 1st no shacking, he gets the full experience of marriage, without commitment, so later when he’s tired of you he can just walk away. I don’t suggest you cooked any meals for him, invite him to family dinners but don’t cook, that’s an expectation he’ll expect all the time, and a reason not to take you out, (and it’s not cute and intimate unless he does it) your availability should not be of a wife, but of a girlfriend, spending all day together without other interest or friends, grooms you to be dependent on his company, it’s designed to pull at your emotions and believe he is your happiness. Always be a girlfriend, never his wife, theirs a bit of intrigue, when you have an idea of who your partner is, and that is the reason for dating, men exploit women all the time to see if you will fight for them, and they think it’s cute, some of you fall for it, and your man sits back and laughs even instigates the chaos, that’s not self care. A lot of Women peak to soon, or should I say show their entire hand to the man that they’re with, he knows what he’s getting, while with you without the benefits of marriage, he’s going to run with his comfortability, until he finds what he’s looking for. Most successful relationships are of those who don’t live together. Men minds has to be stimulated all the time, and when your routine becomes humdrum to him, he’s going to look for stimulation elsewhere, and that doesn’t always mean a new partner, but that usually happens. Their is a girlfriend way of living, and a wife way of living, you’re getting the two confused.

[@yyyannuuu]

Some of y'all are willfully misunderstanding the gay brother. The word choice might have been off but we not gon sit here and act like straight Black women aren't notorious for implying or flatout saying that Black men are DL whenever they exhibit misogynistic behaviors and withhold love and respect/care from their female partners and freely dispense it to other men. Today a lot of sisters are using the word "sassy" to imply queerness in sexist/misogynistic men. This is one of the ways we weaponize queerness in our communities. No sis, a lot of these guys are straight as an arrow...they've just been socially conditioned to not see you as an equal, peer or even recognize your humanity. The asexutal/aromantic affinity and fellowship they share with other men is just a different version of the same asexual/aromantic affinity and fellowship we enjoy in sisterhood.

[@NoName-oe4gm]

It’s Loving Someone, And BEING aim Love 💕…. It’s Likings SomeOne, And Being In Luv w the thought 💭 of someone! 🤔 Hear Me

[@ReadyForTheEnd]

This is what women have BEEN saying! Find someone that you genuinely like and love! But when we say it men get all mad and call us ungrateful for not settling and how good enough is never enough! We want all of us to find our person! I’m glad that people are trying to understand that.

[@vaniaglover3902]

Man I swear these men prove princella right everytime 😂

[@meforever4330]

Whoa! That first stitched reply was 🔥

[@WildAntics13]

Always choose a man who loves you more than you love him ladies we are naturally nurturer we can love no matter what. But mens brain different. If he don’t love you he can still sleep with you but use you for himself so stay 🧘‍♀️ focus hahahaha never let a man play you. They’re usually players anyway unless they are raise by a Queen and they know Jesus

[@MonochromaticBlues]

i knew it

[@rn2787]

Having a man is not a flex. You aren't a gold digger for wanting a man to be in a stable financial situation that can provide for a family. Marriage isn't a guarantee he can leave you with less than nothing. Child support isn't a guarantee either. Just be smart because love can make you dumb.

[@leona2222]

I think of the tv show Everybody Loves Raymond and how he is the epitome of what this video is describing. He never wanted to spend time with his wife, unless it was sex, she did all the housework, childcare, shopping, cooking, and cleaning.

[@kekejefferson9219]

No you don't have to be best friends with your spouse to treat you well and is not a maid. A man that wants to be around other guys more, that means he's in his early 20s or gay.

[@gensai93]

Not really, there are plenty of straight men who just don't like women or see them as people regardless of age, a lot of them want sex and the benefits of a relationship, it's not about love. Most of them, tbh.

[@joylastname3035]

What is white beard talking about? When we say you don't like women (at least when I say it), it has nothing to do with homophobia or that he wants to sleep with guys instead. Men are homosocial, and that's nothing to do with homos*xuality. You like other men because patriarchy has told you that you and other men are human, intelligent, and should be treated as such. You don't believe women should receive equal human treatment. You're dismissive of women, and that's a fact.

[@joejackson7601]

You are correct about the male mindset aka Patriarchal Order... parents reinforce the Patriarchal Order mindset... male offspring are programmed to be stud horses and play play play aka papa was a rolling stone wherever he laid his hat was his home aka stud horses/sexual predators... play play play aka sports which is male bonding activities aka the Brotherhood... play play play aka destructive and non constructive behavior/irresponsible.

[@PhotoJeticPoet]

To the girl who made the point about them needing to just hire $3x workers. I know afew women in the trade and they have all said that the main issue with their clients is that they want an emotional relationship and they have to find ways to try and get that man to disengage emotionally. They do actually want emotional relationships with women. Men just think they can pay for it and treat you like crap in the process and they are very confused as to why we don't want that.

[@A...LA...LA...A]

Whew they all have point, just talked to my sister about this yesterday

[@trichmomma]

We heard how they felt about their GFs- spitting on backs and such. Yup, never liked us.

[@stilljocelyn_]

21:45 Boy Bye! Noboy said nothing about being gay!

[@toscadonna]

He’s just gaslighting women as if most males wouldn’t f*ck each other given the chance and there was no stigma. Plenty of homosexual males date and marry women, because they want to use the woman whilst they screw men on the side.

[@Letstalkaboutit2323]

He is using semantics. Women don’t spend almost all of their free time with their friends the way men do. It’s almost as if he comes home just to sleep not to spend time with his family.

[@Morenita570]

The last guy is gaslighting with the homophobia. 1. Anger, aggressive, attitude, complaining, whining, shouting are ALSO emotions and blackmails express their negative emotions very, very well. And show their positive emotions towards other males. 2. If your husband spends lots of time with his boys where there’s no balance- he’s gaaaaay. Two of my friend's husbands were ALWAYS with their boys and were caught with men. We know blackmails are on the DL the most NOT because of homophobia. They get no status from being gay since they really mean and nasty in relationships with other blackmails and other races of men don’t want them unless they have lots of money or clout.

[@laineyturner3785]

And he will start to hate his wife more and be blatant about it as time passes.

[@childfreechick2980]

The last guy missed the whole fkn point 😂

[@narcfreekeekee9168]

My ex couldn’t stand me. This video opened my eyes to that. He only called when he needed something. I loved him so much. We had one disagreement & he left me without a second thought. I’m glad I got over it. It’s been a year I’m okay now.Dating again.