BLACK PARENTS-Here’s Why Your Kids HATE You...| THEE REAL TALK ♔

[@Tenrakzzz]

I hate how parents literally talk down on you and hit you and etc. and then say you have nothing to be depressed about💀

[@nichollskim]

Fr, or saying its parent abuse

[@justchelsea4176]

Fr

[@Ray.0.0]

preachhhhh

[@m4masb4hamas82]

That’s what I’m sayin, AND on top of that schoolwork and finals and stuff like that, and they STILL ask you “WhY dO yOu fEeL tHaT wAy”

[@miyax]

Exactly! They will tell their child everyday that they wish they were never born, but get surprised when they find out that their child is suicidal??... like make it make sence

[@natsumi_mayaro5471]

Black parents believe that putting a roof over their heads and placing food on the table is enough to be a good parent. Yea whatever.

[@-ucanthandledatruth01-12]

That's because those things take the least of their ability or strength. Example: Roof is provided by government (and they pile so much hope into the house with a garden). Food: Even the welfare or social benefit payments can cover that (and usually does).

[@Yws_ytz]

​@@-ucanthandledatruth01-12 Where is the love?

[@QilinRider21]

They say that as if they are doing you a favour

[@TheGoldenPlatoon757]

@QilinRider21 Like as if you asked to exist, makes no sense at all.

[@-ucanthandledatruth01-12]

@@TheGoldenPlatoon757 Some will even express a desire to terminate you or the regret of not terminating you. 'I brought you into this world, I can take you out' 'SEE, this is why I shouldn't of had kids' I get that they feel weighed down but they should respectfully communicate the foundations of their problem. Also many women actually had a plan to trap and manipulate a man into being in her life via a child and it backfired and left her lonely questioning her worth knowing it was a bad thing to manipulate in such a way but conflicted because she feels it SHOULD have worked if: He was a REAL man If she was BEAUTIFUL enough If he values her ussy which he has careless access to Many of these women were told clearly that the man doesn't want a future with them, but the baby was the future she knew she could get so she gambled.

[@latanyamount8099]

Alot of adults were out here being thots and really didn't want kids. So the kids get punished for not being planned.

[@myasmith1820]

💯

[@oddgoddess5576]

this is it

[@laur3n005]

and i see it today with the trend of hating kids for being kids (not trying to say that ppl who don’t want kids are thots)

[@doll9763]

💯

[@deasyastarr]

That whole “I just want my life back” well excuse me for deciding to be born at such an inconvenient time.

[@rockchick128]

Black people still have that old school thinking which is pretty much not too far from the slavery mentality. I heard people in their 30s and 40s and even older talk about how they still fear their parents, as if that's something to be proud of. And when you speak the truth, you get called "disrespectful"

[@satanahades4173]

exactly

[@Mahjeeee]

it’s sad…

[@Dimezprod]

Just the bare response of answering a question is shamed. I am not soft or a push over in anyway but I just lose so much confidence when my mom yells at me. While I think getting taught a lesson is good it's never constructive criticism, just pure anger.

[@amab1853]

Exactly when you become an adult & stand up to your parents they always call you disrespectful. But meanwhile they disrespect and belittle their kids all the time smh

[@AbdullahHashi-kw3qj]

I'm 40 and still fear my dad He wasn't abusive or too domineering but I still respect the authority he commands till this day, he was kind when he needed to be, he was militant and harsh when we did illegal stuff and hung out with street dudes Not everyone who is fearful of their parents means they were abused and neglected, Ya'll gotta stop projecting.

[@TheLeah2344]

I opened up to my mom about the physical and mental abuse she inflicted on me and my brothers when we were kids and she told me I was calling her a bad mom and started crying. Then she said she put a roof over my head, put food on the table, and didn’t abandon me and my brothers. My mom also told me to change my clothes around my step dad when I was a teenager and I ended up molested by him.

[@ctrlivy101]

im so sorry that happened to you

[@jayb3694]

I'm so sorry that happened to you🖤

[@idektwin12345]

🥺💔

[@EleashaD]

I'm sorry the happened to you.😔 it really be your own family

[@Defnotjolie]

It’s disgusting the things our parents do when they are supposed to be loving and caring..I’m so sorry for what happened to you

[@Gilberte08]

Can we talk about how black people love to yell at they kids 24/7 and love to compare they kids to other people also invalidating what their child like and their child's feelings tho.

[@adeolamoshood6890]

So true

[@lol.3460]

Like who wakes up yelling for 15 years. Cant be happy. Def need pro help

[@breonawarren1507]

Especially before school or before bed

[@nicolemuteji]

THIS!!!!

[@Gilberte08]

@Lleucu Beau I'm Haitian and Haitian have this saying mom and dads say it and if they think u wanna hit them or u gotta attitude they say to "come hit me then" very much annoying

[@maemaeishere1661]

Stop comparing your kids to other kids (or between siblings). It lowers there self-esteem and creates a huge divide in the household when it’s between siblings (or cousins). Like just help your kids be better people and help them strengthen their talents.

[@tasmeenbaker9912]

Exactly, every time I make a mistake, my stepdad always be like "You're 16, you're too old to be making dumb mistakes like that. 16 year olds don't do this or that." Kids my age be making dumb mistakes all the time 🙄🙄

[@TheLeah2344]

My uncle and grandma do that ALOT.

[@dxrlingsofmine]

also here’s a little add on, don’t compare them to celebrities who are OLDER than the kids.

[@fadeaway2179]

THIS

[@justchelsea4176]

Exactly, stuff like that made me feel like I was not good enough for my mom

[@amiahedmondson6320]

When black parents try to discipline their children with insults and rude remarks and expect their children not to be rude and disrespectful but yet that’s exactly what they’re doing🙄

[@laurenbarnes1020]

My mom still treats me like that ha it’s funny how I agree with all these comments

[@vanessamarie_xo]

exactly. i got into an argument with my dad literally just yesterday because he said an ignorant comment about how men are now dressing like girls so i stood up against him and said that clothing isn't gendered and that there is no one way of dressing. and one thing led to another he started yelling at me saying how i'm being disrespectful but all i did was call out his ignorance. me calling you out is not disrespectful. what's disrespectful is the hateful comment he made.

[@jacobTheeCreole]

Whew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@simonehawthorne2647]

Hypertrophics!!!!!!!!

[@muichirotokito4333]

@@vanessamarie_xo To be honest in my opinion, certain clothes do have a gender, but you are right what your father said was extremely ignorant and you did the right thing!

[@jevaughn6198]

“Black kids don’t thrive through childhood, they survive it.” -Tommy Sotomayor

[@jaxthewolf4572]

Golden quote ✌🏾

[@TheQueencircleAcademy]

Omggggg this.

[@QilinRider21]

The only thing I agree with him for saying

[@hhoneymamii]

This is why we need to be the most childless ppl on the planet. We need to makeup the time we missed and explain the emotional immaturity, delayed childhood maturity lead to behavior issues unresolved

[@hasansabahgaminganimemovie7679]

Alot of white families and asians are like this.

[@beafranklin516]

STOP INSULTING YOUR KIDS IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS!!!!! IT’S NOT CUTE!

[@happyclappy1805]

THIS. THIS. ALL of THIS.

[@bokarmangane8198]

Or embarrass you in front of company or family

[@sugarandspice2136]

Or on social media!!!

[@beafranklin516]

My mother, god rest her soul. Would talk about me to her friends and family in front of my face when I was a child about things I was insecure about like my grades. And how I lacked common sense, lol it really messed with me.

[@tammygarrett8427]

I so agree My mother would have people I did not even know hating me. I still do not understand what it did for her.

[@laurenmillers6716]

Cut my dad off last year and getting ready to cut my Mom off next year. We’re not dealing with toxicity anymore. I was molested by my older cousin and my Dad doesn’t acknowledge it and my mother brushes me off as “it doesn’t matter, get over it”. Really upsets me but I’m learning to cope.

[@alicemiriah]

Same thing happened to me. I told my parents at 20. My mom rolled her eyes and walked away and my father told me that we were both kids and that it was in the past. They just pretty much pretended as if I never said anything and honestly I wish I never did. I haven’t spoken to my parents in a year. So much led up to it but it was for the best.

[@delilahispeachyfresh2835]

Wow, that's awful! The same thing happened to me I got molested by my 14 older cousin too when i was about 8 I don't remember it as much but at least my mum did something about it

[@xxbrowngirlxx6164]

I hope all of ypu are okay 😥🥺

[@naadilee1316]

The same exact thing happened to me. Except i forgave them since i was only 12 so i cant cut anyone off. My whole family said i was lying and the funny thing is that my cousin already had 5 charges for molestation against little girls when it happened. And they protected him through all of it. Luckily hes in jail now for molestation.

[@TheeBratzDollxox]

@@naadilee1316 if people are harmful to you, you can cut them out of your life whenever you feel it’s best. You can forgive AND still keep distance

[@stephanie-495]

I’m already thinking of not having kids because I’m scared I’ll end up repeating the same cycle with my kids

[@liliethfox8298]

Yes

[@EmaniSister]

Same

[@GossipGyal1]

@Magdalia Mahelóa Very true

[@TheLeah2344]

That’s why I’m in therapy so I can get rid of the generational curse and heal from the abuse.

[@Malia_G]

Same I don’t want to make the same mistakes as my mother did

[@fadeaway2179]

One thing I hate is when I say I’m tired they start complaining. “How are you tired? You don’t work blah blah blah” Even when they see me laying down in the afternoon. It makes me feel like I’m not supposed to be human. Why do I get yelled at for just being tired. Especially after school.

[@Kaydiortv]

Ify like ok I get you work but I been at school from the time I wake up till 3 something in the afternoon I do class work all day I got things to do during the day as well

[@aminestooo5521]

Right??? And in my case as well it’s like I’m not even allowed to be sick too. When my mom is sick it’s everyone has to shut up and tend to her every need. She even gets mad if I don’t ask her how she’s doing. But when I’m sick it’s why haven’t the house been cleaned, why aren’t you keeping an eye on your sibling, why are you being lazy.

[@deasyastarr]

@@aminestooo5521 ugh!!! Same!!! My mom and dad were the same exact way. But let me be sick or cramping and my room isn’t clean to a tee that’s the day they decide to complain and act as if me being sick shouldn’t get in the way of me doing stuff around the house to make them feel better. 🙄

[@idkanymore2183]

This makes me feel like I haven't done anything productive 😔

[@Nkosazana-yt1]

@@idkanymore2183 ikr . I feel like we live in such a fast paced world where everything is working . Everyone is expected to be working 24/7 and if you don't your considered lazy

[@srich2827]

I hate when they say, “stop crying before i give you something to cry about”

[@deasyastarr]

Right like I’m already crying how does hitting me help? So me crying when you’re not the cause of it bothers you so now you wanna be the source of me crying to make you somehow feel better about why I’m crying instead of trying to figure out what the initial issue is? Why would a parent be okay with being the cause of their pain?

[@amiahedmondson6320]

Same like that’s going to make me stop or change my behavior

[@adeolamoshood6890]

I got in trouble for this alot growing up. I was just a emotional kid that cry when I am hurt, but I tell you, I got in so much trouble that If i had to hide if i have to cry about something because I was done with getting in trouble. Covering up what I feel with work, I got used to suppressing my emotion that it became part of me. Being in college and alone, I had some time to reflect and just realized how that has affected me and people around me. I am just starting to accept who I am and I tell you, getting in my feelings and all having several emotions feels weird

[@amiahedmondson6320]

@@adeolamoshood6890 same here, every time I cried at school I would always try to make sure my mom didn’t find out because I knew she was gonna but me if she did. I also got yelled at for expressing my anger so I used to think hiding my emotions was the norm I was told that “only little kids do that”

[@Strength_In_Wisdom]

@@adeolamoshood6890 man I can't even cry any more. Tears cover my eyes and that's it.

[@nightangel3578]

I feel like parents, Black parents specifically, take all of their aggression out on their kids. It's like they funnel societal pressure, their personal failures, lack of professional growth, lack of healthy relationships, etc. onto their children. My mother is a teacher and I still to this day believe that she loved her students more than she loved me. I tried opening up to her last year and she said that she didn't want to "go down memory lane". To be very honest, I don't want children. I feel like from the years of abuse that I'll end up like my mother and I would never wish that on a child.

[@nightlongg4758]

From a very young age I’ve noticed that my mom took a lot of her frustrations and anger from the outside factors out on us.

[@tabathacechvala4927]

I know white people who do it too sadly I think human kind has failed

[@lxrddcks]

THIS . so much this . when i graduate college I’m running as far away from my family as possible . no explanations . nothing . I’m just going to disappear so I finally can just ... breathe

[@tabathacechvala4927]

@@lxrddcks prayers for you im sorry for what your experiencing 😔nobody should I been there 2 it hurts to feel unwanted 😞

[@racarayoung6929]

I remember one time me and my mom were on a plane going to visit my brother and there was this little white girl had to be like 4, and my mom started praising her talking about how she was “so pretty” and “she should really get into modeling because she’s so cute” but she’s never called me cute or pretty to my face never said anything like that to me, not like I need her too but it’s like you can sit here and praise and compliment a stranger who you don’t know, but not you’re own daughter?

[@paige2166]

Many black children grow up not knowing how to deal with their emotions because their parents down play it so much. I really hope this new generation of black parents don't continue this cycle of bad parenting.

[@tianagaming2025]

Im definitely not I want my kids to know they are loved and they can talk to me about anything my fear is becoming like my parents. I’m going to get therapy when I move out.

[@jayk8919]

@@tianagaming2025 same!! I can’t get therapy living with my mom bcz she makes these comments like “what you need therapy for”? “You got everything you want”

[@jaleyj]

@@jayk8919 I went to counseling with my mom and it hardly worked. She would continuously speak about my dad since at the time they were divorce for about 2 years. She made it all about how she felt 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@jayk8919]

@@jaleyj OMG YES my mom constantly talks bad about my dad🤦🏽‍♀️

[@pwakho8408]

I won't. I'm never doing this to my child. Lucky thing is, that since we've been and currently going through depression we can probably sense the signs more than others.

[@bobbywhitney6262]

And you forgot one… Chastising your child and using social media to broadcast when you doing that! One of the most embarrassing and child abusing situations that you can do to your child.

[@brookewilliams5306]

YES OMG!

[@Abmarp]

I think she brought that up. When she said that those are the videos she reacts to

[@renaissancewoman100]

I don't even watch those videos because they are totally disgusting. I'm a mom of adult children but when they were young I wouldn't dare do that. What does it say about the mom. When I went for a parent meeting my son's teacher was so afraid I was a negative black parent. She was surprised that I wasn't. This is shameful. I remember being a kid and teenager so that how I relate to my kids. Don't lump all black parents into one category.

[@bobbywhitney6262]

@Mocha Shakes Really!? In front of the congregation and the pastor wow! I'm glad my parents never did that.

[@lukedavis1436]

@@renaissancewoman100 I don't think it's them lumping them in to one category, it's that this type of behavior is accepted in the black community and it's hard to tell which black person isn't practicing this type of behavior. Most black people I know have told me that they used to get whooped. They told me I just didn't understand because I have white parents, but in reality it wasn't because I had white parents, it's because my parents weren't abusive towards me.

[@trainerkai1313]

I feel like many black mothers see their daughters as competition and it's sad that you can even think to be jealous of something you created and you feel the need to belittle them to uplift your sorry self.

[@GossipGyal1]

SO TRUE

[@dollie6274]

My mom is this way, and I can't wait till I finally move out and away from her toxicity

[@TheeMademoiselle]

I need a part 2 😩

[@trainerkai1313]

@@TheeMademoiselle I support👍🏿

[@ChiviA84]

Okay!!! I told my sister our mom was jealous of her.

[@genericalex5564]

i got sexually assaulted repeatedly in middle school by a friend's ex bf. my mom told me to get over it. my grandma told me to get over it. now i don't talk to people about my problems.

[@TheeMademoiselle]

Wtf....

[@doll9763]

I,m so sorry 💔

[@pagethreemodel]

Alex Mae please consider therapy. What happened to you is not okay, and it's not something you should bottle up. Your health is very important. Wish you the best ❤️❤️

[@iyaiiya-wawg3657]

They're messed up. I'm so sorry.

[@amiahedmondson6320]

Wow I’m so sorry you had to go through this

[@supersaiyanrage4341]

The bad Black Parents: we feed you and you live in our house so shut up. I'm tired of them telling me this.

[@lunamonetmonroe]

Doing the bare minimum taking care of basic essentials isn’t enough. Like that’s your job as a parent like tf? I can’t stand parents who think like this. 🙄

[@szasdaughter5657]

fr like that's their job as a parent, we didn't ask to come here.

[@rosesiskreyol]

You choose to have children, they didn't asked you to have them.

[@siyashilla6885]

The African male parents is lazier . They calk their headship divine right to do nothing

[@nakatani.5208]

verbal and physical abuse should NOT be normalized.

[@jaxthewolf4572]

Sad thing is, many people don't even see it as abuse. To them, it has to be extreme (punching/death threats ect) to count as abuse. ☹

[@solocomics1820]

Many people who normalize abuse are abused themselves. And also brainwashed by their own parents. We cannot change these types of people if they get help themselves.

[@JEF_W]

@@jaxthewolf4572that’s what’s so frustrating. Some even do this with a proud smile on their faces. All of that abrasiveness with these people telling their victims that it’s for their best interests. It’s horrible. No parents should normalize gaslighting, threats, etc. It’s so wrong.

[@haunting_hatter_]

@@jaxthewolf4572they’ll be like “Welcome to the black family💀” like what???

[@ChynaSierra]

Can we talk about how black parents never want to talk about what they put their children through. Anytime I’ve tried to have a conversation with my mother about my childhood she’d always say “I don’t remember that” or “You’re lying that never happened” or “You need to let that go”. How do you expect your children to forgive you, move on, build a relationship with you, if you don’t want to address what you did.

[@creativesonic4439]

that's exactly what i'm scared of that's why i don't want to talk to them about what they did to me because they will act like i don't know what i'm talking about or tell me to get over it already or tell me that never happened

[@SoloJourneyandPJ]

THISSSSSSSSSSSS 🤌🏾

[@starzzzy22]

Therapy. The only way I got past what happened to me as a kid was through therapy and more than once. It's taken me til my late 20s and early 30s to truly know how to set boundaries with my parents and speak my mind when needed and stop being afraid of their reactions. It's still a work in progress, but without the therapy, nothing would have changed.

[@JAdss_ou]

My mother is the same way and honestly its very sad 😢

[@realrivalent9261]

Yupppp

[@trinityzurielle4186]

A lot of black parents are gonna be so shocked when they end up in poor assisted living facilities/ homeless when they’re elderly because of how they treated their kids. Remember, take care of your kids because one day you’ll need them to take care of you

[@mrsbdubc2174]

Some parents treat their kids good and still end up there.

[@trinityzurielle4186]

@@mrsbdubc2174 that’s not what this comment was about, use context clues next time.

[@aquarianempresstarot7380]

It gets worse when they get older because once they get dementia and Alzheimer’s all their true feelings come out, they can become very hateful.

[@lavonnealexander6936]

Smh 🤦🏿 I already warned my mom she is definitely not listening.

[@Lill2895]

@@chrissy387 you're not the only black person, but like this video says, it's a generational thing that spread and stems from the era of our ancestors or grandparents and being too young to parent when they have kids.

[@nobodyatall367]

I refuse to beat my kids especially for grades.

[@hopelovegood8131]

I wouldn't spank my kids for grades if they're trying, but if they're just not doing the work or skipping, then yeah, I'ma discipline them but also try to encourage to do better and try to help them with their homework and set like and hour or two each day where they have to do homework and study.

[@tasmeenbaker9912]

Exactly, me too. Although I never got beat for my grades a

[@digimonalvatrax2738]

School system is not for everyone. But people don't want to acknowledge that.

[@doll9763]

@@digimonalvatrax2738 Yep👀

[@genekagill5025]

I didn't get beatings but I definitely was on punishment.

[@pandaluvr]

Honestly growing up with over protective parents is the worst. Cause not only do I have a problem talking to people I always fear growing up in the real world. As a now young adult woman I shouldn't fear getting a job, getting male attention,being seen as sexy or just leaving the house just to get some fresh air. My family was, well still is, isolated from the world and it's disheartening.

[@J_liz]

Man the story of my life dude

[@tasmeenbaker9912]

Me too, I'm 16 and I shouldn't be nervous to go to the store just around the corner or just cross the street

[@chaya7103]

Girl are you me ? I just escaped from that mess and it feels so liberating but uncomfortable at times due to the things you mentioned.

[@pandaluvr]

@@chaya7103 I wish I was you cause I didn't escape yet😭

[@luxurysasha3641]

@@tasmeenbaker9912 same here i'm 18

[@hairbytrea]

My father was was so toxic. It got to a point where we almost fought twice. I told my grandmother that if and when she leaves this earth I want absolutely nothing to do with him because he was toxic and abusive. He put women and drugs before me and my siblings. Now that we're grown he wants to play father when it's convenient for him. And my grandmother would think he would never do no wrong. It got to a point where he's even disrespecting her. Toxic fathers are the reason why most women fall for the wrong men. I lost all respect for him.

[@aminestooo5521]

Both my parents are pretty toxic. They were in an on again off again relationship for years. And only officially ending things when I was in hs. When my dad left for the first I was 7. Before that my memories of my dad were great. He was my best friend. But after that was when I seen who he was. I will never forget the day he left. It was the first day of school (I was in the second grade) the morning before we left for school he called us down. He had his bags packed and told us that he was leveling. He then proceeded to call us worthless kids and that we are nothing. My mom would go on to call us that almost every day basically and it does not faze me anymore, but back then hearing that it broke my little heart. An I balled my eyes out. Started my first day of school with red eyes and a puffy face.

[@aminestooo5521]

Now I have a very strained relationship with my dad. Where I only see him a few time a month but recently I haven’t seen/spoken to him since before Christmas.

[@mariedelcid8330]

Yes! My mom whooped me for getting beat by a boyfriend in high school. Telling me how dumb i was to not break up w him, which she threaten me that i better not be caught dealing w him or else. I didnt end it. As an adult i look back and it makes sense. For one.... Her abandonment contributed to me staying w him and also...she didn't kmow nothing but a first name for the father i was deprived of cause one nite stands was how 4 out of the 9 of her kids dont know dad. She set s bad example or none at all

[@linglang7322]

@@aminestooo5521 in so sorry that happen to you. I hope that you know that you are loved, you are special, the world need you.

[@valeriecarre8967]

Woooh facts

[@beth7921]

To the argument “you’re not a parent” the response that always comes to mind is “no but I was a child once”. You know firsthand how it felt. I always find it weird how people forget how it felt once they grow up and have people that look up to them.

[@deasyastarr]

Half the time parents talk about how their parents didn’t “spare the rod” aka always welded the belt and other objects and they turned out fine. They want the world to go back in that direction cuz “kids had more respect” back then. When no it was fear, not respect.

[@LaurynFields]

@@deasyastarr all kids need to have fear of their parents and i’m not talking about fear where kids shouldn’t go up to their parents and talk to them about anything i’m talking about fear as in if that kid does something bad they know when they go home there going to get in trouble

[@deasyastarr]

@@LaurynFields well of course I believe that but kids also have to respect the parents to fear them in that regard. I was fearful of getting in trouble but my parents were very inconsistent with discipline so I didn’t have the respect for them that I should have had they’d been consistent with discipline. Parents who outright disrespect their children get it back because the parent didn’t raise their kid to be respectful and even if the child doesn’t grow up to be disrespectful, they grow up fearful of their parents and in turn fearful of others and will let other people disrespect them. If parents respected their kids more, then respect would be given and in turn so will fear in the since of “I don’t want to do something bad so that I don’t hurt my parents” not in fear of “getting in trouble”. And more so if the parent taught the child values for his/herself, then they won’t want to make bad decisions because “my mom or dad taught me better and I value myself so I won’t make this bad decision”. Respect creates the proper type of fear.

[@aquarianempresstarot7380]

@@deasyastarr 💯 agree! There is a difference between”respect” and “fear”. A child should NOT “fear” their parents, but respect them.

[@nailakamana763]

@@deasyastarr Exactly. It's really just fear of the consequences.

[@PatienceXina]

She woke up and chose violance😂 And I'm here for all the truth she was dropping

[@hopelovegood8131]

Honestlyyy😂😂😭😭

[@aquarianempresstarot7380]

Right!!😂😂 I’m all here for it. She said what needs to be said more often.

[@guitarawks09]

I’m here for it. ‼️‼️

[@michaelaashlee1123]

My mom: "You cause my Anxiety." "You think you're depressed?! Lol no. You're only sad cause you don't have anything going for yourself. If you want to be depressed, don't be depressed in *my* house." Ah.. don't we love mothers?

[@aminestooo5521]

I was in my final year of HS was when I finally had a complete mental breakdown. I wrote my mom a long as note detailing every sing messed up thing that happened in our household from as early as I can remember and listed all the ways it has affected me growing up. At the end of my letter I explained to her that I need a break from everything. I packed my bag and went to my older cousins house that lived about an hour outside the city, spent the whole weekend there and turned off my phone. When I got back she would not talk to me about what was said in the note she just picked parts of it out of context to try and guilt trip me and say I’m ungrateful went on to say who mental illness is not a thing and that your either crazy and or it’s “the devil”. And basically it was an ambush with my ultra religious relatives and they prayed over me to get the demons out of me. But yeah...🙂

[@supersassy9441]

@@aminestooo5521 I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. As a Christian I’m sorry that another Christian acted like that towards you.

[@amiahedmondson6320]

That’s such a heartless indie Siri who thing to say like we “choose” to be depressed smh

[@adeolamoshood6890]

That's just sad. Guilt tripping you for doing what could benefit you.

[@moonflowerspeaks]

@@aminestooo5521 at that point it’s time to throw hands. That’s bs. I’m sorry that happened to you

[@NullPointerException7]

You are so right. So many black parents are just impatient. They say "I've tried talking to my kids but they don't listen. Whoopings are all they understand so that's what they get." But "talking" to them just involves yelling more/louder instead of trying to get to the bottom of the issue of why the child isn't listening.

[@hope-cat4894]

Beating a kid for their behavior also worries me because sometimes kids have undiagnosed mental disorders that are being untreated that might be making them act out. You never know. You could be hurting them for something they can't control. 😟

[@Minicarrotjuice]

Yep, my bro and autism. He got the worst of my mom's physical wrath and got diagnosed at 15 after I told her to get him tested.

[@lol.3460]

I see it with so many children at my job. I have a few who are a bit delayed developmentally which is perfectly normal every kid grows and learns at their own pace. But one of my kiddies seems to be dyslexic and his mom whoops him when he’d make a number or letter upside down or backwards. It’s just how his brain perceives things and he’s being punished🥺🥺 as well as backwards or upside down numbers is extremely normal for children under 7. Remember they’ve only been alive for 7 years and likely just recently started to make any sense lol idk why ppl think they can have kids w little to no patience. Idk if moms be thinking knowledge can go through the umbilical cord or what

[@TIGERTHATROARS]

@@lol.3460 on God I hope you reported that mother 😬‼️ beating your dyslexic child because of their illness is 100 percent child abuse. As someone who works with children it is your job to protect them from things that cause them harm, including parents. So many children go abused and unprotected. You could literally save that child.

[@digimonalvatrax2738]

I had been diagnosed with ADHD and my grandmother used to beat me up for it. Because I wasn't acting "lady like." but I was just a kid.

[@choochoopicklepie]

EXACTLY OMFG

[@EleashaD]

I always hated that phrase "blood is thicker than water" because from experience, it seems that water would be the more logical choice. Family can be so toxic, but its like you are forced to deal them because they are your family. My father was raised with that mentality, that whatever wrong your family did it doesn't matter because they are going to be the only ones there for you. But time and time again, they have shown that they will never be there or care. Luckily my mom is the complete opposite. If you do her wrong regardless if you're family, she will cut you off💯

[@ctrlivy101]

at the end of the day family is just a word

[@lpskittytv5206]

It’s the other way around for me my mom has that mentality

[@jimams_jamz5518]

@Eleasha D same

[@elleboogie2020]

I'm much like your mother. At first, people can't deal and try to inflict guilt trips, but when they see I'm not playing, they leave me alone. Their problems are personal and, since it's not my purpose in life to accept their problems, I'll omit myself from the equation. Problem solved. BS gone.

[@EleashaD]

@@elleboogie2020 💯💯

[@charitychapman3181]

I just don't understand how anyone could abuse a CHILD. Especially their own. Do you know how fragile children are? Do you understand the hurt and trauma you're putting them through? Of course not; that would require critical thinking skills.

[@pagethreemodel]

It would require empathy too. Which is what these parents greatly lack.

[@Moszan]

@@pagethreemodel I bet from all the beatings they get, it lowers their ability to empathize.

[@solocomics1820]

I could guess for many reasons because jealously, abused by their own parents, etc. Btw, there is no excuse to hurt a child. If you are hurting a child, then seek help.

[@sugarandspice2136]

Nah. That would require empathy!

[@bendemare5270]

Thank you.

[@kailynnnleighhh841]

Imma send this my mom and then say I didn’t mean to cuz I don’t wanna get slapped and then yelled at

[@myaafterhourss]

I would but I ain't tryna die..

[@kailynnnleighhh841]

@@myaafterhourss same gurl

[@xxqueenxiexx1314]

My dad would be like "WhY u WaTcHiNG ThAt iN tHe fIrSt pLaCe"

[@myaafterhourss]

@@xxqueenxiexx1314 My mom would just ask me what I was watching look at the video and walk away

[@woodieangel4093]

I'll send it when I'm 18 lol

[@bealambwouldya]

Finally someone gets me I’m not hitting my kids and I will break generational curses

[@QUEENCHAI]

I hate how my parents say “I can’t believe people think spanking is abusing nowadays. I would always get spanked and look at me today.” Yes, you have many problems and therefore gave me many problems. Like how don’t they see that??

[@bealambwouldya]

@@QUEENCHAI girl you’re preaching to the choir. My mom said then they will just walk all over u. First of all there’s other ways to discipline your child without hitting them that just creates more problems people have children without healing & think it’s okay to put their trauma on their kids. But go around saying but you turned out alright no I didn’t I’m still healing so my kids ain’t gotta spend most of their 20s healing

[@xgames149]

@@QUEENCHAI That's called survivor bias.

[@itsregina4883]

Same

[@Trixiesongzxoxo]

@@xgames149 ooooh good one! You hit the nail right on the coffin 🎯

[@samanthahodge770]

You speak nothing but facts and the truth but some people can’t handle the truth 🤔

[@artonyalascrafts4892]

You already know

[@brielogan8315]

Sadly the people who need to hear this don't watch or get into topics like this 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@lunamonetmonroe]

True. Or if they do they click off real quick or brush it off like it don’t apply to them...they ain’t tryna hear all that.

[@ladykiy3301]

And the ones who do are mostly the dislikes smh 😔

[@danielmbilo8648]

Or they refuses to listen and think there right

[@TheTrueLadybug]

yep.

[@creativesonic4439]

yeah because parents these days are mad stubborn.

[@Ray.0.0]

Also parents talking about you like a dog to all of their friends but once family secrets/scandals happen its all hush hush and no one can know their business.

[@thefossilfinder6286]

Yes

[@bjbob3920]

Facts. I always hated that expression "What goes on in my house stays in my house." It's so outdated. Everytime I read or hear that expression hypocritical is the first word I think of.

[@teviancetauriac3901]

They rely on other people for their hard timed

[@JBgoodiebag]

Ohweee my mama was the queen of talking about errrbody including me to other people. She would talk about me to other people right in front of me when I was a kid… what I’ve learned it that she was very emotionally immature. She behaved like a teenager. Eww so sickening

[@apopofculture]

The way we collectively joke about “whuppins” is a way for people to deal with those unresolved feelings.

[@unbeknownst2me-o9t]

Absolutely

[@Yur_Jones]

Let’s talk about how many black moms hate their black daughters because deep down inside they hate themselves and their blackness. I think that’s the root of many of these issues

[@teelacov]

all facts

[@amiahedmondson6320]

True

[@supergirlbb]

I think this is definitely true. My Mom is biracial but me and my sister are mainly Black and I remember growing up she would always insult my hair even though me and my sister's hair was similar. I honestly think it was because I looked more Black compared to my sister.

[@amiahedmondson6320]

@@supergirlbb my mom insults my hair too because my bio father is Jamaican and our hair is super coarse and it made me feel really bad about my hair and affected my self esteem as well.

[@jenwhite8832]

@@supergirlbb I have the same problem but the other way around - I’m biracial and my mother is not. She took out a lot of her insecurities on me, and it took me until I was an adult to understand why it felt she enjoyed seeing me suffer

[@theefineeeweirdgyal]

black parents really be invalidating their kids emotions and wonder why when they grow up the kids move to another state and don’t communicate.

[@icecreamkitty2735]

The difference between how they treat and talk to sons vs daughters speaks volumes alone at least most of the time

[@lilpaulettenthegang7869]

Facts! They love their sons and raise their daughters. Thus the sorry sacks of ish we have to chose from.

[@stpges6322]

I'm sorry but this isn't true at all. A lot of black men myself included experienced extreme physical abuse as kids. The idea is that boys are tougher so you can hit us harder

[@lilpaulettenthegang7869]

@@stpges6322 true Stephen. But like you, we are speaking on our own experiences. Just because the boy is being favored doesn't mean he isn't being abused too. I feel you. Abuse is abuse. ❤

[@Isabel-sr8ep]

@Otto Rocket my parents treat my brother like he’s their little prince he will get a paper cut my mom will kiss his finger and give him a tub of ice cream me?? Walk it off and go about your day If I got stabbed 20 times they would be like “Your ok it’s nothing here’s some ice” You act like boys aren’t favored over girls it’s different especially when you are older than your other sibling the younger ones are the spoiled ones if you had siblings you would understand

[@stpges6322]

@Otto Rocket Exactly, when it comes to physical discipline there's no comparison. Black girls get spanked and black boys get beat!! Like I said before this is based on the patriarchal idea that boys should just "man up" and take it. Most black mothers wouldn't dream of hitting their daughters the way they hit their sons. Then to add insult to injury we're told that we were the ones who were favored and we're called "sorry sacks of ish" on top of it.

[@Kyrgyz420]

Not just black parents, but in POC/Immigrant households in general, we also normalize toxicity within our households and call anybody who speaks out against it “whitewashed”, it’s sickening 🤢

[@adeolamoshood6890]

"Whitewashed" was on point. I hear that alot when me and my brother try to address my parent's behaviors.

[@artonyalascrafts4892]

True

[@chocobun4879]

On god though. I tried to tell my mom to stop comparing me to other girls or judging for for being socially akward and she said I was acting like a white girl. Then she continued to make fun of me for it

[@GHO5tMod3]

I’ve noticed that too I study a lot of different cultures this seems to be more of a poc and other groups of people outside of the white western society Because Asians, middle eastern, and even other European groups like Serbia etc are crazy towards their children too I’m sorry but I’ve seen it

[@Arigriphantua]

In that case, I am proud to be whitewashed.

[@KiyaTheDon]

I noticed an increase in stress due to school and I told my mom and she looked at me and shrugged it off and said “your too young to even know what stress it” 🧍🏾‍♀️

[@nightlongg4758]

Same and when I told her I needed some time off, my mom thought I just wanted to drop out. It got to the point where I started getting really bad headaches and my eye was constantly twitching due to all the stress I was under. But yeah I don’t know what stress is. 🙂

[@KiyaTheDon]

@@nightlongg4758 we gone be ok 🤎

[@adeolamoshood6890]

Exactly, parents be acting like they are the only one that experience stress 🙄

[@poisonivy208]

I just want you to know you’re not alone and people get anxiety and depression at ALL ages! I’m so sorry you experienced this.

[@agfromdai.e3806]

Ahh yes, comparing your own daughters stress to yours & acting like your daughters mental health is nothing in comparison. Great mom…..

[@cecedastarr]

This is why I am excited for us gen z african/caribbean parents because we've been taking notes on what NOT to do 👀

[@jimams_jamz5518]

Fr like I been telling my dad he showed me what not to do when raising me

[@queenmo1105]

@@jimams_jamz5518 my dad was like to me “you’re gonna take what we’ve taught as parents and raise you’re kids right” I deadass said No. he was silent.

[@jojobimo3938]

RIGHTTT 😭

[@skippitypaps573]

Your kids will find issue with something you did too. My mom talks about what her parents did that she didn't do to us. There's things my mom did that I won't do with my kids or will do. I'm sure also that there will be things my kids think I did wrong. 🤷🏿

[@cecedastarr]

@@skippitypaps573 agree

[@zennichels4222]

When u tell them you’re depressed they be like, “WHAT ARE DEPRESSED FOR? U DONT PAY NO BILLS! U HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT! AINT NUN WRONG WITH YOU!” But until you attempt suicide, they be like “ I didn’t know u felt this way” Nah cause last time I checked, U said ain’t nun wrong with me, right?! They would completely victimize themselves. It’s like u have to do something traumatic for them to finally get it.

[@takisfuego4581]

They'll only do sum when it's too late istg.

[@laurenbarnes1020]

AMEN!!!!!🙌🏽🙌🏾👏🏽

[@zennichels4222]

@Cartierr Exactly. Correct 👌🏾

[@Leena-tr7yq]

My parents ignored and downplayed my mental illness my whole life until I told them i was suicidal and then they finally started the paying attention to me and being nice to me Andy not blame me for everything. jeez

[@artonyalascrafts4892]

Yep. Or you don't have nerves. People don't respect children

[@mjuchis1589]

Whooo what a word !! A lot of black parents are not ready for this conversation 👀☕️

[@QUEENCHAI]

And they never will be😩 it sucks

[@mjuchis1589]

@@QUEENCHAI you are so right & it really does 😒

[@desidaadon]

My mom was listening and she us mad

[@artonyalascrafts4892]

Nope. Start talking about how they had it and don't even listen to you

[@anonymousfeed7472]

They never will be and its sad

[@7bvbyyrissa]

our community has some healing to do cause this aint it . periodt .

[@QUEENCHAI]

YESSS WE DO

[@SUPSTERV]

I'm Latino and I'm sending prayers to you 🙏🏻

[@7bvbyyrissa]

@@SUPSTERV Thank you🙏🏾🙏🏾💖

[@aaliyahhugley408]

But also some of this bas nothing to do with anything they just wanna be mean

[@pryncesscore]

Chile, when troyce said "i don't know if i would care if my mom pass away". I felt that, 😭 my mom had no problem trying to competition w me and would purposely buy 'better things' for herself, so she would 'win'. It just wow... Exhausting

[@TheeMademoiselle]

Shit deep

[@ionnawilson590]

It's sad when I can say the same thing I feel that the fact all-black parents can do this. my mom also did the same thing to me and expect me to take care of her when I'm older. but as soon as I get out I'm leaving and never coming back to her when she dies I will go to the funeral cuz that is my mom but I will not care I have depression and other mental issues (that has nothing to do with my learning.) she also bought shames me and I'm pansexual and all she does is call me a cookie eater

[@pryncesscore]

@@ionnawilson590 A COOKIE EATER? 🙃 yeah my birth mom always complained about me being asexual like bro i literally do nothing but exist

[@EbonyW44]

Same issue I have with my mom.

[@nehwonmantor7266]

@@pryncesscore I am Biromantic ace. My mom doesn't know yet and She never will hear it from me. I am sorry you have to deal with your mom not accepting your asexuality.

[@dollie6274]

A few weeks ago my mom slipped in the shower and fell. She has a bad back, so in situations like this she needs assistance to get back on her feet. Instead of calling my dad to help, she called for me. I came, but all I did was watch. I did nothing until she literally started begging me for help. I now realize the depths of my emotional trauma, and the suppressed hatred I have twords my mother. It's scary that I didn't know how detached I was.

[@aminestooo5521]

I’ve seen a story from a man once who talked about his relationship with his dad. He was very abusive to him growing up and one day he was home alone with his dad and he had a heart attack or something . At first he rushed to help him but then when he got into the room he just stood there and watch as his father struggled to breath.

[@blacklyfe5543]

What happened did u help her

[@YouTubelover6267]

Karma is karma

[@1315storm]

I'm about to show this to my Caribbean parents... I'm sure they gonna tell me to go and pray and stop being dramatic!

[@rosechloris-aphrodite3109]

I wish you luck

[@nightlongg4758]

I’m sure this will go right over my mothers head. She will probably see it an start talking about how “mothers are the most important people in the world and that I should be grateful to have someone like her that puts a roof over my head, food on the table...” like? 😏

[@1315storm]

@@nightlongg4758 Yes and then she will then make herself a victim and say I'm being an unruly and ungrateful child and then start talking about all the things she has done for me (normal parenting) as if I asked to be born. lol

[@zeffraser7885]

@@1315storm you get that too! I keep getting called the disobedient child smh

[@defineyourbeauty3272]

🙄girl Caribbean parents are so stuck in their way. IRRITATED !!!

[@TJ-xw1dm]

I love how black parents say "What happens in the house stays in the house" but air out all your business 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@laurielbrooks6079]

Exactly very contradicting

[@quentinhans4755]

Facts

[@NolimitXDBM]

Oh my family don't like me for that same reason I remember this one time they told me that (whats happens in the house stays in the house) and then I told him some stuff that I thought they were gonna keep confidential and then I realize the whole family knew everything about it, it was from then and there I stopped hiding secrets now nobody tells me anything😭🤣

[@jaylapernell2961]

Black parents need to stop bullying they children and expect the kids to sit there and take it

[@jacobTheeCreole]

Preach !!!

[@teviancetauriac3901]

He'll yeah

[@b_ramen5898]

When the mother and child is in a argument the power move for the parent is "IM THE MOTHER(father) UR THE CHILD SHUT UP"

[@fireyblaze4241]

THIS is my stepdad 😖

[@nxrth9463]

This is why I cut my parents off. I'm done with the abusive cycle, don't need that negative energy in my life anymore.

[@jaxthewolf4572]

Good for you, I'll do the same thing when I'm ready.

[@macysocoo]

coming from a toxic household is the worse cause im experiencing it now.. but you said nothing but facts😌💯💯💯

[@liliethfox8298]

Same here chileee

[@pryncesscore]

I need quarantine to end!!

[@kanaryskabana]

I told my mom I wanted to move to Japan when I get older. She had the AUDACITY to say, “Don’t move so far away from me and you better get a house near me” NO THANK YOU. I’m not finna do that. I’ve been controlled by you, forced to lie by you, got threatened to get kick out, yelled at, threatening to beat me like a bitch off the street, manipulate me. NOO IM NOT FINNA DO THAT. I’ve literally had a panic attacks from you and my father, causing me to have unwanted stress an trust issues.

[@yonilogan3016]

I believe a lot of black parents have self hate issues and they take it out on there children especially when life didn’t go as planned because of there choices

[@artonyalascrafts4892]

Mad because they have to provide and want an award for it.

[@laurielbrooks6079]

I agree 👏👏👏

[@hasansabahgaminganimemovie7679]

Alot of narcissists hate themselves.

[@Inconstructionmaybe-x5v]

The same goes for my mom. Sadly, I always blame on my toxic dad, who fails her me and my younger sister, I but forever blame her toxic stepmom ruined anything because of it.

[@jaybloc615]

My Dad used the beat my lil sister because she "never tried" when it came to sounding out words. Later she was diagnosed with dyslexia. Ion think he ever apologized.

[@TheeMademoiselle]

That is messed up smh

[@PrincessPowerUp]

30yrs later, I have whole panic attacks in college because my mom helped me with my homework once as a child.

[@baddiezone]

Black people are very ignorant to disabilities and illnesses , before they do research to things they can’t understand they rather yell and dismiss the issue

[@chanelschanel8493]

I swear these be the type parents that ask “ why don’t anyone don’t wanna call or visit me? “ I swear to God himself if/when I have kids ( bio or adopted ) I will treat them with respect and show them love: That’s the problem with these parents they think just because they gave birth to/raised the child that their automatically entitled to respect and obedience and then they wonder why at the age of 60 they’re in a retirement home, lonely and no one wants to visit them or care for them.

[@oddgoddess5576]

MIC DROP 💯

[@doll9763]

💯

[@deasyastarr]

And then if the adult child opens up about the parent’s shortcomings and expressed why there’s a strain on the relationship their being “disrespectful” and can’t understand how their actions would produce a negative result.

[@mrsbdubc2174]

That still don't mean they'll visit you. Trust and believe that!

[@chanelschanel8493]

@@mrsbdubc2174 that’s on god, TRUTH and real FACTS!!! They need to take a hint and read the room

[@JazzyFizzleee]

A lot of us weren’t raised, we just grew up.

[@Trixiesongzxoxo]

This right here!!!

[@Rainjojo]

Parents forget that hitting their children isn’t “love” it’s teaching them to fear, resent, and despise you and you’re manipulating them by saying you’re doing it out of love to beat a defenseless child. I guess you’ll beat your partner/spouse since you live them so much? Oh wait I forgot, you don’t hit someone you ACTUALLY love.

[@davesylvindeckerii4528]

they pick and choose who to hit cuz they know if they hit someone their height or age they would get hit

[@rockchick128]

That's like saying a husband hits his wife because he "loves" her.

[@chaseginise8968]

@@rockchick128 what kind of twisted, backwards, sadistic logic is that? It doesn’t make any sense at all!

[@angell_so.shiestyy6867]

“i put a roof over your head, gave u food and put the clothes on your back” okay...thanks but u had me..i didn’t have you. nor asked to be born.

[@artonyalascrafts4892]

That part

[@LukeRojas]

I just don't like the fact that this parenting is sort of been popularized and even glorified on tiktok. People will point out how abusive and unfair a lot of black parents can be, but then also say kids these days aren't raised right. And they use examples of their mom beating them with a shoe until they we're bleeding as a way to convey good parenting. They also point out how unsympathetic a lot of black parents are and how you pretty much can't speak to them about anything because they prefer you to be quiet.

[@naburgr]

You can't win can you? I'm sure they will also end up "toxic" lol

[@lxrddcks]

my mom can’t understand why we don’t speak , and I’m always like “you’ve been abusive my entire life ... are you insane?”

[@avalentine730]

Black parents need to stop assuming that their adult children are to do as they say! Don't demand that I do any task; ask first...it's really simple. A lot of black parents over the age of 60 really believe that their children are kids forever.

[@JustMeg29]

Black adults aren't allowed to actually be adults. I really truly don't understand it at all. We aren't supposed to stay kids forever. We should be allowed to grow up and actually be treated as adults. Black parents don't treat their adult children as adults because they still want to have some control.

[@teviancetauriac3901]

@@JustMeg29 Preach

[@sirennoir258]

Yes

[@rockchick128]

Black parents like to remind you of how old you are, but yet whenever you say something they don't like, they treat and talk to you like you are 12.

[@bougiepeaches5497]

Let's talk about parents beating their kids for getting beat up by kids in school! They're the reason why kids like me are aggressive and distant towards everybody. And I got whooped and degraded for being sexually assaulted by my cousins and neighbors

[@artonyalascrafts4892]

Smh. It's too much! Toxic! Now they may feel they have to prove something after that

[@spittin_BXRS]

Nobody takes my pain seriously because of my physical appearance and the fact that I'm a boy...

[@bendemare5270]

I am so sorry

[@tiffanyjohnson3395]

The toxicity in the black community is one reason why I left the community. I think that toxicity is normalized.

[@AbdullahHashi-kw3qj]

So you're telling me out of the whole community you couldn't find decent people to fit in with?

[@tiffanyjohnson3395]

@@AbdullahHashi-kw3qj , exactly. There are systemic problems in the community. There is so much disparity of emotional and social maturity amongst us. Most decent people move out or just stay to themselves.

[@tias.6675]

I don't blame you. Finding decent people is like finding a needle in a haystack.

[@AbdullahHashi-kw3qj]

@@tias.6675 well, you know what they say You attract your kind Maybe you have some unreasonable expectations and that's why you get disappointed frequently Maybe you have certain issues yourself that prevent you from having good healthy relations with other decent people in your community It's a complex issue, not just as simple as I'm clean and everyone else is dirty like the OP is suggesting

[@tias.6675]

Always someone trying to project. There is a reason why the majority are trying to get free money and anything else whenever possible, while I make my own. There's a reason why the average are followed around store and seen in a negative light while I've never had that issue.

[@f.b.i7121]

They need to stop forcing religion onto their kid and actually teach them critical thinking skills. 🥲

[@SoloJourneyandPJ]

That’s a WHOLE OTHER convo WHEW

[@kz_lsz]

IKR I’m Christian cuz I chose to, my black mother would teach me about the religion growing up but it felt like she was forcing it on me the older I got

[@jaxthewolf4572]

blacks are obsessed with the religion that was beaten into them.

[@natemorgan1996]

​@@kz_lszI'm sorry you went through that, man

[@godsire6217]

Teaching kids religion should be illegal.

[@bluebird4815]

My father is toxic to me, so i cut him off for good. Black parents keep thinking words do not do damage but that damage is so extensive. It breaks down a child's emotional and mental state. Love and admiration for a parent soon turns into resentement and eventually absolute hate!!!!

[@samuri2011]

Can we talk about how Black mothers be weaponizing their tears at their kids whenever we try to bring up what we're upset about. They want us to share our opinion, then they start crying when we talk.

[@blackgirlmagic6754]

Gaslighting and manipulation

[@VidWatcher01]

My mom just cuts me off & talks over me so I can't talk. She & my dad basically took away my voice

[@tias.6675]

😂😂😂😂 "I did the best I could".

[@sugarandspice2136]

Manipulation.

[@gossip_girl_xoxo2003]

@@tias.6675🤣🤣🤣

[@MB-nb7yq]

It hit home when you talked about being beaten for bad grades 🥺 Yes beating did come from slavery and colonialism but black parents think you’re “white” for saying that. 🤦🏿‍♀️

[@MB-nb7yq]

@Cartierr People don’t realise most of the bible is metaphorical 🙄 Like the whole thing about suffering now and enjoy later. People literally think they mean if you have a hard life on earth, heaven will be yours. Um no people also forget bible also talks about giving your children a legacy and one is fool for not trying to leave one for them.

[@banjokazooie8124]

Black/Caribbean/African parents are so abusive and traumatizing to their children to the point it is absolutely disgusting. My parents are so mentally and emotionally abusive, apathetic and neglectful that I feel that my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions and my heart means nothing to them. Every time if I get upset or I would cry, they would pull the whole "you have food, water, shelter and clothing. You have nothing to be upset about", or if someone in the family would be saying hurtful things to me, I was not allowed to talk back because I had to respect my elders and they wouldn't stick up for me because they had to "keep the peace" in the family and I had to "let it go". I'm in therapy now because of them and my therapist has given me more guidance, understanding and acceptance than my own parents. I see my therapist as the parent I've always wanted.

[@natemorgan1996]

Hi I know we don't know each other personally but I'm sorry that you have had a really rough time with your parents, it hurts i know, you deserve better, man, best of luck to you

[@banjokazooie8124]

@@natemorgan1996 Thanks brother. I appreciate it. All the best to you as well.

[@hasansabahgaminganimemovie7679]

Add europeans and asiasn to that list. They are all abusive.

[@babygrltanyar5624]

Look, I definitely think parents need to take accountability for emotional, physical, and mental abuse. No child should have to go through these things, especially while developing. It’s horrible to subject children to an environment where they can’t develop and make mistake without being physically or verbally abuse. We are all humans. Talk to your children like they are human. It’s not that hard. Some parents shouldn’t be parents. Kids who grown up with abuse parents just know they’ll emotional try to manipulate you into feeling guilty. Don’t let them. Speak your truth and if need be get away from them.

[@alexzander7143]

One thing about children is they will always remember the way you treated them growing up good or bad they never forget anything.

[@Janessa_music]

Black parents don't care they want us to get over stuff without having feelings...

[@nwatson2773]

Black parents or black people wanting to have children should seek therapy, read and examine their own traumas because this intergenerational trauma is not working anymore! This slavery behavior is not cool!

[@okieoiogh8235]

It's not slavery, it's western. Living dynamics that black people struggle with more than others

[@racarayoung6929]

So how do I send this to my parent without sending it to them?💀

[@TheeMademoiselle]

Listen to it while they in the room 🥴🤣

[@fillia4233]

@@TheeMademoiselle wish me luck I’m doing this RN 🤣🙏🏽

[@k.b2457]

​@@fillia4233 Praying for you. Send us an update lol

[@TewasaSonko]

I know EXACTLY what you mean lol 😂

[@gagabuah]

Send me parent number. I will send it to them as a wrong number 😂

[@Tyra18.]

I never understood the “You’re not a parent so you shouldn’t have a say” argument. Shouldn’t you know the basics of how to raise a child??!!?!! Shouldn’t that have been thought out before the baby popped out the hoohah????? Parenting is not an abstract thing. You’re not the Picasso of parenting babes.

[@teviancetauriac3901]

🤣good one

[@patriciahart5563]

Being a child is soooo hard. I couldn’t imagine not having a choice over what’s happening in my own life. We need to support them, teach them and help them get through life which is hard.

[@josiahademiluyi4677]

True I agree

[@bendemare5270]

True.

[@graceanfrederick4477]

I have been sexually harassed by my cousin who lives at home and I told my mother and she told me I'm not telling the truth. My cousin still lives at home and my mother keeps saying that I need to be nice to him. Don't let me even start on mental illness.

[@doll9763]

I,m so sorry 💔😔

[@leilanileilani1832]

I’m sorry man I hope it gets better for you

[@leilanileilani1832]

Hopefully your almost at an age were you can move out

[@friedegg6235]

My mom likes to call us “dirty”because we’re dark skinned and says stuff like “you don’t clean yourself good” But she’s the one how bleaches her skin 😑 make it make sense

[@takisfuego4581]

Homie don't believe whatever she tell ya brodie or girly. Melanin is worth more than gold and you gotta lot of it sis or bro. Live it up cutie!

[@TheLightShines]

Do not listen to her God made your beautiful dark skin He wanted you to look that way.

[@myaafterhourss]

We do have it bad. I know some kids are disrespectful but it comes from someone it doesn't just happen randomly, and its fine to punish your kids just not to the extreme, half the kids who are traumatized end up growing up with trust issues and repeating the same cycle of their parents. Edit ty for the Likes and yesss my Queen

[@michelled2434]

Narcissistic parents in general are very toxic and cause a multitude of psychological problems in their kids. Thanks for this video and I'll look into getting the gummies!!

[@brunodacruz5402]

Another thing black parents need to stop doing is using the past to punish the children. Making little things into big problems

[@Cocoacannabisclub]

Children are the most unprotected beings ! Children should be respected loved and cherished amongst other attributes to become a healthy adult ! The cycle repeats and repeats until someone is aware /fed tf up !!! End childhood trauma / abuse !

[@blaquekay8582]

My Haitian mom tries to manipulate me with her soft voice to always give and support ppl (ex. my younger bro) but I’m broken and whatever energy I have left is to fix me, but she doesn’t get that/ thinks I being greedy

[@aminestooo5521]

Same here. Like how are you going to yell at me with your loud man voice and call me some choice words then to seconds later it’s “🥺 oh my daughter can I please borrow some money from you, I’m/ our family back home is struggling.🤲” then when I tell her that I’m struggling too. (Short hours working, I pay some bills in our house and tuition needs to be paid). She gets mad and tries to guilt trip me. On time in high school she found out that I was putting half my paycheck into savings account you know to save up for school she got so mad at me saying I was “hoarding” money and that if I had money then I should give it away to “help out” our family over seas. Mind you I’ve never even met or spoken to these relatives a day in my life.

[@maremelaye9748]

I definitely understand that you sis

[@manuelhernandez4684]

Passive Aggressive tone

[@nyaira9817]

I was molested by my older brother from the age of 5 to 6. That along w other traumatic experiences caused my mental health to deteriorate. I’m cutting off my entire family because after I told them what he did to me for the third time , they still continue to talk to him , hang around him , etc. but I’m the problem? My mom always gives me the speech of “I pay the bills, I feed you” , when I go off about how dirty they do me , as if that’s not what she’s supposed to do as a mother. I can’t take the toxicity from my mom or siblings anymore. Once I’m able to move , I’m packing my bags & NEVER looking back. I feel I’ll be so much happier on my own.

[@AlatOnDemand]

Omg I’m so sorry for you babe, are you around that monster/ do you live with him? If you’re over 18 plz move out or move with a trusted relative. This is horrible.

[@nyaira9817]

Oh yeah , can’t leave out the fact that he came to my house & physically attacked me for confronting him about it & after that they still continued to talk to him. The relationship moms have w their sons are mad weird...

[@nyaira9817]

@@AlatOnDemand I’m 20 years old & no we no longer live together. Trust me , I’m trying to move out but I don’t speak w ANY of my family for the same reason. On my dads side , they’re just as bad. I literally have no one.

[@AlatOnDemand]

@@nyaira9817 I’m sure you have someone who cares and loves you unconditionally. I hope you’re safe ❤️ this story really broke my heart 🤦🏾‍♀️ I wanna fight all of em across the screen 💀

[@tyrequ5303]

The only person who will be there for you is Jesus Christ himself

[@jrmmedia2347]

This the reason why I don't respect the elderly people they act like we ain't been through nothing they just talk to any kind away they feel like it.

[@VidWatcher01]

That's why the "Okay Boomer" meme exists today

[@aliciadouglas905]

So glad this is being talked about. "My parents hit me and i turned out fine" OK but you didn't?? You can't make any type of emotional connection and treat me like an annoying roommate instead of your child. So glad the next generations are being exposed to negligent and abusive parental traits so they can learn to get actual help and what's not ok

[@adeolamoshood6890]

They don't care about their child emotions, psychological health and wellness in general. Education is all they focus on. Some parents, all they want is control and not take time to know/spent time with their kids but they will be shocked to know that their kids would rather reach out to other people, when they have problems. They tell us, talk to us about anything but they make the relationship so distant and scary that their kids are afraid to tell them certain issue. And even when you try to tell them, if it has to do with them or against their opinion/believe, they either cut you off or not let you speak; claiming that they are the parent. My dad will say he is the owner of the house, only what he says should be done even if it clearly harm/hurt his kids. I told him that my about mental health as unhealthy the other day, he dismissed that, doesn't believe in such, moreover seeing a therapist (if I get diagnosed) will cost him money. As a minor, even if I see a therapist, there's a low change that therapy will work still living with them. My dad got mad for saying my truth. Some African parents wonder why their kids wants to leave their houses, they don't take time to search themselves. What annoys me the most is adults that think they cannot learn anymore especially from a younger person, claiming they were on this earth before us.

[@Leena-tr7yq]

And they groom you from a young age to think how they feel is your responsibility so you’re too afraid to say or do anything that will upset them and feel horribly guilty for sticking up for yourself

[@seasonedqueen6960]

Parents; stop telling your friends your kid's business. The child told YOU something, not your friend. Your friend is YOUR friend not your childs friend. N this especially goes for parents who have teenage to young adult kids. It decreases the trust that your child has to confide in you. You spread their business in the streets then if they tell yours you cuss before or after saying "what goes on in this house stays in this house". Then you wonder why your kids dont tell you anything.

[@jaynasmith8583]

My mom low key hates me and my sister but she treats our 3 brothers like kings🤦🏽‍♀️

[@jaxthewolf4572]

Does she hate daughters or something? ugh

[@ajaneayoung2676]

My mom and I literally got into a physical fight yesterday bc I told her “I’m not cleaning up after grown people” mind you I’m 20.

[@SH-vj2ce]

I don't know your situation, but perhaps it's time to move out? Again, don't know what took place... but two grown women occupying the same space rarely works out!

[@L.Jordan2024]

I completely agree. Cuz black parents will do everything in their power to make their kids either hate their parents or make the kids scared of their parents

[@xan8123]

I tried explaining to my mom that I didn’t like her hitting me growing up she basically told me to get over it because “that was a long time ago!” And “your siblings got it too so move on”

[@SH-vj2ce]

That's called Gaslighting.

[@dreamingsweetsatl5461]

Being oversexualized as a kid and being told to change my clothes around relatives caused me to grow up cautious and lowkey nervous to wear things like ripped jeans or off the shoulder shirts. When I wear it I feel like I'm breaking some type of dress code when I see my parents. If it were up to them I'd be out here dressed like caillou💀

[@blackgirlmagic6754]

My mom told me I had no self respect because I was wearing a clothes with cleavage in my house with my dad. MY DAD!!!!

[@deannachavis]

I definitely needed this video. I'm fully black and grew up as an only child plus my dad was not around so everything that he did to emotionally hurt my mom fell on me. I constantly got blamed for anything and everything that went on and it sure didn't help that I look very similar to my father. For example, She would get unnecessarily mad at me for not reminding her about certain things or straight just insult and degrade my appearance saying " my nose is too wide" and would hint at me to get nose jobs when I was younger or saying how "my hair is everywhere and that combs are only a dollar". My hair is short 4c afro style so for her to say this hit me deep especially since she fully black and has 4c hair as well. I guess it only applied to me since I look like my dad.

[@fiffysmillles4384]

And telling my business to the whole of my family made me never share anything with my mum rn I’m going thru depression and I’m talking to a tr and told her no to tell my mum because she will shout at me telling me adults are the only people to have depression .. I completely lost trust in my mum and can’t wait to move out

[@kaykat0134]

OMFG!!!! I didn't think I was going to find a comment like this! My mom did this too. I did something a little embarrassing and after telling me how embarrassing it was, she decides it's okay to tell my aunts.

[@artonyalascrafts4892]

Me too

[@sirennoir258]

Move out and do not look back. Do not accept gifts. Gifts are not what you think they are. Gifts are actually hooks. They are tools used to keep some connection. Something you will owe them for. Nothing is free with toxic people.

[@QuinnsIdeas]

I haven't talked to my parents in YEARS. This is real sh×t.