Blended Families Ron Deal offers Advice for Stepparents About Choosing Between Kids and Spouse

Blended Families and Stepparents, it is vitally important that your kids understand that there doesn't have to be an "either/or" when it comes to your time and love. Instead it needs to reflect a "both/and". You are their parent, and you have a new spouse. Yet they must also know that this marriage is forever.
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[@BlendedLife]

So MANY sacrifices in a blended family! But finding that even balance is key! NEVER let the kids come between you and your spouse! Great advice!

[@klausmikaelson2449]

then why get kids?

[@BlendedLife]

@@klausmikaelson2449 Not to let them come between you and your spouse. You have kids to be part of your family but not to rule your family.

[@klausmikaelson2449]

@@BlendedLife what if the children are anger and jealous. what about their mental health?

[@BlendedLife]

klaus mikaelson maybe take them to a therapist to help get to the heart of it. They have a ton going on emotionally that may be out of the parenting realm and professionals can help get them on a healthy path.

[@davidregi7571]

@@BlendedLife you just want to get laid and want the kids out of the way. Typical stepparent

[@neacienation]

If you're going to marry someone who has kids and you have kids you need to make sure that you're mentally stable enough to work to find a balance in that relationship. I would suggest you make sure that their exes are stable enough to handle them in a new relationship as well. Parents and step parents should always present a united front once a child knows that they can come between you they will do it over and over again. That's what kids do. How the two adults that decided to get married because they fell in love react to that is up to them. This is just common sense.

[@SamOwen55]

I accept that my parents want new relationships and that's their priority. That is why I am removing myself from their world. Their happiness had always taken priority during and after the divorce and it won't change. It hurts too much for me.

[@g.b.d6765]

So should their happiness be built on top of their sadness? that doesn't seem fair

[@g.b.d6765]

Fathers and mothers are selfish people, and they don't deserve love.

[@neacienation]

It's amazing that adult children still can't accept that parents deserve to be happy to. Punishing them for being human beings will hurt you in the end. This may surprise you but people don't get divorced and break each other's hearts to spite their children. Having your heart broken is one of the most painful things to go through. To say that your parents don't deserve to be happy and should suffer for the rest of their lives is selfish and wrong.

[@pussyStarter]

@@neacienation typical simp. Kids come first. Yes ur happiness should take a backseat. But that is the point with you simps, you don't understand that.

[@funkymarombeiro]

@@neacienation I just left my mother, let her be happy, but without me.

[@unidadodontofacial5586]

I love this información for my family

[@jameslaiola4976]

This is an absolutely beautifully facilitated informative video. I do agree with everything being said, however I very respectfully also know that nothing will ever change. Most step parents are thrown into a role with maniacal, deceptive and idiotic irrational children. They never listen to the stepparent and always become defiant. Sadly this is a normal behavior. It shouldn't be! But it is. Great video thank you

[@mouzziewouzzie2305]

Simp. Think with ur head instead of ur dikc.

[@elohimoliver1107]

Nothing he said made scene

[@joycea3290]

I use to think that Dad had duty to be there for his kids both sides near of the family and not distance and why can't people stand to live in the same city?The time to raise them in how he wants it to be.

[@joycea3290]

Why not?

[@musicjunkie2k]

What did you do to cause that?

[@neacienation]

What? I don't understand what you're saying at all.

[@FS02012]

What about if my daughter comes to me saying my husband her stepfather touched her and tried to rape her...? He says 2nd marriage comes first before my child? My child is living with cps right now...shes growing and changing and i feel im missing out...shes 12 now...my husband said shes just making up stories and told me she cannot come to live with us...that i will have choose between my little girl or him....should i chose him because i have a so with him whos 3.

[@FS02012]

Well my daughter is only 11 years old and she’s now been taken away from me, my sister has filed for custody because I’ve taken his my husbands advice and put him above the child that I bore and have had a deep connection to before he was even in the picture. It has only recently come to my attention that apparently the child sex abuse was going on for 3 years since before I moved him in and she did not tell me. My daughter said in court that I loved him more and that she said my mom puts her new husband first over me and the judge and specially my sister and her husbands law had a field day with that and went after me saying I’m a terrible mother and my first job was to protect my child before anyone else. I have not since my child in months and she’s growing daily and changing I am missing out on so much of her development! my husband says she is lying and it is hard to prove as young girls the courts always will take their side. I tried to call my daughter and she called me by my first name and told me she’s happy with her aunt and uncle and calls them mommy and daddy and my sister to,d me that since now her husband and her are trying to have her adopted since she was with CPS it is best I no longer call as it only upsets my daughter. My daughter has changed just hearing her on the phone. I put my child through a lot because I naively took the advice to all these friends therapists, even my husband to put him first...yet my heart loved my child more but I needed a man as I felt and now I lost my little girl and even if she was lying right there is a sign that I should have left him, it I do not think she was and now I feel I’m falling out of love for my husband I cannot have another child. I am 50 my only daughter is 11. I do not know how to fix this I want my child back in my life. I should have always put her first but now it’s too late I feel so trapped in a marriage that I do not love him if he did this to my baby. He does not love me or can he?

[@FS02012]

A correction she is 11 will be 12 next month and he has a son who is 13 but does not live with him from a previous marriage not 3. I have step son is what I meant, which I only met once. He is being raised by his mother and her side of the family my husband does not really know him or cares to.

[@adithyanarayan27]

@@FS02012 then ur worst mom to put husband above ur own kid

[@neacienation]

Obviously there's an extreme there. I think this man is talking about two mentally stable adults who get married. You sound like you're blaming the original poster of this video because you married a pedophile. Obviously if you married a monster you should pick your child over the monster. Hopefully you know that all by yourself and don't need a separate KZbin video to point that out to you.

[@jenealeverett2269]

Only a narcissist would ask a question like this. What person in their right mind would put a man over their daughters safety

[@runexscapexBotz]

“You press on” Because every thing is about YOU. WRONG! This stuff is sickening

[@familylife]

Thanks so much for commenting! What would you recommend?

[@heatherann4390]

Waayy too complicated. Don't date someone with kids if you also have your own. The kids turn out to be #1 and the couple needs come second. It doesn't work.

[@neacienation]

Well it's working from my husband and I. I can't speak for you and your experience but I can speak for mine. And I am very happy and very much in love.

[@salmon3345]

I just had to end my relationship with my fiance. I was devastated, but my 7 year old daughter didn’t like my fiancé or her daughter. They fought all the time and could see the stress in my daughter. I love my daughter more.

[@blkjzz411]

There has to be a balance. Time needs to made as a priority for the marriage, and alone time for the children. Too much of either one, is toxic.

[@beckymadrigal8795]

@@salmon3345This situation happened to me after 9 years of being with my husband he got custody of his 3 boys ages 16;13;10 and them coming from a toxic environment no discipline or respect for anyone it broke our marriage. He chose them after me telling him to get them therapy or counseling even boot camp to this point but he said they didn’t need it. 😢