Blending Two Lives into One Flesh - Joey & Kari Trent Stageberg

Each day of marriage a couple can learn something new about each other. Often this includes discovering a glaring difference between you and your spouse. One might consider the task of cleaning to be a 15 minute chore, while the other approaches it as a herculean task - two plus hours of scrubbing the kitchen sink with a toothbrush. This is the exact predicament Joey and Kari Stageberg found themselves in. In this episode, Joey and Kari unpack the techniques to navigate the situation when differences emerge - they call it a “Merge Moment.” This moment allows a couple to come together despite their differences. Only 31% of differences are solvable, which means that couples need to be proactive and intentional when navigating and even celebrating their differences. Joey and Kari suggest being particularly observant about trigger moments and giving each other time to process those situations. Success comes when a couple truly values each other, rather than just tolerating one another. And spouses cannot do this alone - it is crucial for those in a difficult season to find “Merge Mates” - a communicate that will encourage and support their marriage.
Get the book, The Merge for Marriage: bit.ly/479zqux
For more resources on this topic: bit.ly/47qsHwN
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[@kristastrong]

Being in a second marriage myself, I find myself dealing with a lot of fears, and feel like I'm a failure when my husband addresses different topics. He is committed to the relationship, but I worry I constantly do things that make him regret his decision. Thank you for sharing this wonderful insight!

[@focusonthefamily]

Thank you for sharing so openly, Krista Strong. We'd like to encourage you to call us at 855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays between 6 A.M. and 8 P.M. (MT) to talk with one of our counselors (at no cost to you.) In the meantime, please know you're in our prayers.

[@PRESCRIPTIVELIVINGDIAGNOSEPRES]

The difference are designed to compliment. Less about compromise. More about empowering design as the two can be better than one.

[@oterosocram25]

I agree in the comprimise part. I would say the original designed (before the fall) was to compliment, not after the fall. I would say the differences are design to seek the Lord in submission and in obedience, just like the image of His body; the church. When we both understand our role and responsibility as a husband/wife, men /woman and father/mother and we accept it and submit to it, harmony occurs and this pleases the Lord. It is how the woman redeems herself and men walks in his leadership/servant role.

[@laurens8623]

True but many don't see that. They just argue

[@PRESCRIPTIVELIVINGDIAGNOSEPRES]

​@@laurens8623yes. This is the sad reality. 😢 It doesn't have to be this way though.

[@laurens8623]

​@@oterosocram25the woman can't redeem herself. Only Jesus can redeem. Still in different roles can we compliment.

[@oterosocram25]

@@laurens8623 You are speaking of redemption as to what the Lord did buying us back with his blood, that's not the connotation I used. redeeming as in redeeming an offering due to inability to travel to the temple, as a from of obedience and obligation, this is what the mother does when raising children the right way. As far as complement, there is nothing I can do to complete or make my wife perfect or her to me, but us independently submitting to the Lord and finding joy and peace doing her part and myself as well.

[@blanchehanstein3450]

Loved it, another practical session one can relate to and apply in our lives. ❤

[@laurens8623]

Good to be alike in godly ways and thoughts and such

[@busiswaporshaamandafanqa2231]

Love love ❤

[@oterosocram25]

I just really wonder how about when one person differences is offending the other and causing the other to work harder in the relationship. Lack of basic responsibilities, communication, affection,etc. - Too much media interaction, TV, computer, phone. -Too much external family interaction. -Prioritizing others instead of the one spouse. Relly hope this book addresses that.

[@xbemos]

100% This is a huge factor. It all boils down to being unequally yoked and that ofcourse is the cause of all issues per the Bible. I hope what you mentioned is addressed too.

[@PRESCRIPTIVELIVINGDIAGNOSEPRES]

The key thing is when you know yourself and know your spouse well, you can compliment one another more and not expect them to be different than they are. Identity is rarely taught or developed so many don't understand each other well enough to serve one another at the highest level. That's when disappointments and expectations set in.

[@PRESCRIPTIVELIVINGDIAGNOSEPRES]

​@@xbemosto say that means unequally yoked is what the world says is irreconcilable differences.not even close to biblical reasons. Equal yoked means to be married to be a believer. A relationship involves 3 parts. Attraction Selection Skills Skills make up 20% of relationship quality. Most repeat what was modeled for them as children, unless they get help (developed or counseled). The selection process is very important (70%) in my opinion but most don't have the training grounds now to know how to navigate this skillfully thus requiring compromise inside the union to keep it together. But there are ways to enhance quality no matter where one is at on the spectrum. I've heard counselors say up to 80% of couples feel more like roommates than blissful partners. They said about 1 out of 10 are creating bliss. Totally attainable but not what's most common.

[@Homeward2019]

Skip Marriage. Trying to love a crazy spouse is more degrading than cleaning toilets every day, non stop. Stay single. If youre newlywed without kids and the problems and frustrations dont quit, get out while you can and pick up a hobby or spare job, anything.