3 Steps to Heal a Broken Marriage

[@Guidance777]

I feel frustrated, tired, and angry with my life. My husband filed for divorce last November. He immediately started dating, which broke my heart. I have been praying for supernatural strength to get through this. I need help. Can you please pray for my family and me? I need a miracle.

[@shakitaanderson1618]

Bless her and restore her marriage God according to your word.

[@tonylupinoeasypipsplus8334]

I will pray for you!

[@tanc4121]

How are you doing ?

[@shakitaanderson1618]

Praying for you my sister. That will restore everything that the enemy thought he has taken from you.

[@chaulendy1441]

I can feel your pain and my thoughts and prayers are with your 🙏

[@jerrisumrall5994]

7 STEPS 1)Calm down 2)Clarity 3)Pull spouse closer 4)Forgive & reconcile 5)Rebuild trust 6)Igniting intimacy & passion 7) Creating a dream life together

[@smokingcrab2290]

My wife doesn't want any of these. She hates me and doesn't want any of these things.

[@xiomarabarrett1801]

Where you find the other 4 steps? I'm looking for it

[@mr.joshua204]

Thank you for saving me an hour of my life lol

[@oil_tx2544]

I need to find this video trying to save my 20 year marriage and this video hit deep and I pray I can save it

[@gentilejoshsaved1646]

How did it go?

[@nubianQX]

@@gentilejoshsaved1646 I would like to know also!?

[@AnnaM-io1zn]

Hi, do not give up. I have been praying and fighting for my marriage for four months. God is good. He hates divorce and he loves families. Keep on praying. He is faithful!

[@dwightwiley490]

How is it going now?

[@Jakerun69]

How did it go

[@TBL_SIGMA]

Can you give an update?

[@megalopolis2015]

Amen. Praying in agreement with you for your marriage, and for my family. 😢❤

[@rja9784]

There are ZERO marriage channels on KZbin that provide this quality content without a paid subscription

[@bonganiskosana5114]

Most definitely.

[@ChariDeBeer]

Try Kingdom Marriage series from Tony Evans. It saved mine. All the best❤

[@Patricianeel]

Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.

[@ElsieL.Schaeffer]

It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.

[@Patricianeel]

Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?

[@ElsieL.Schaeffer]

His name is Father Akunna, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@ElsieL.Schaeffer]

he is Father Akunna, he has great powers, he can help you.

[@Patricianeel]

I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked Father Akunna online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤

[@christopherallbright4212]

Thanks for being transparent about your own journey about being physically and emotionally separated while struggling to get back on the same path. Knowing that there were struggles that were overcome makes you relatable and credible. (I'm still listening to the rest, but this part resonated with me.)

[@franziskani]

This is an excellent video - I know the structure of such webinars, but this was filled to the brim with valuable content. No hard (or soft sales), and no fluff.

[@preciousrushwaya4640]

Wow wow wow Kimberley!!! You are such a breath of fresh air!!! Your wisdom, coupled with your eloquence and how knowledgeable you are really revived me…right here in the pit of not knowing where to go from the hurting pit of a marriage not going well. I truly believe that coming across this video was not an accident. I am super grateful to God for vessels such as yourself. I have just finished listening to this video and could listen to the whole of it all over again. ❤

[@brandonfreeman2693]

This entire video was exactly what i needed to hear.

[@anjajuntunen464]

😢same

[@angelpresenceenlightenment8549]

Wow! This is what I am going through now. Everyone was telling me to let go and move on. My husband left us last week for another woman. I never thought this would occur. I am going to pray and work hard on fixing our marriage.

[@geefour60]

Please don't let pride get in the way let go and let God send your Husband some bible scriptures on marriage and remind him its God's word on what he's doing is wrong its the problem Today people don't fear the word of God

[@angelpresenceenlightenment8549]

I appreciate your words! Thank you 😊

[@andrewbagwell7324]

Infidelity is a deal breaker. Don't chase after someone who would leave you for another woman. Everyone deserves better than that.

[@RobertRyan-q7b]

I recently went through a difficult breakup. My five year relationship ended a month ago, and it's been incredibly hard. I still have so much love for my ex girlfriend, and I can't seem to get her out of my mind. Despite my best efforts to win her back, nothing has worked, and the thought of being with anyone else feels impossible right now. I know it might sound odd to share this here, but I miss her deeply and can't stop thinking about her.

[@PhilipTomisi]

I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without her, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring her back into my life

[@RobertRyan-q7b]

By the way, how did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?

[@PhilipTomisi]

His name is Fatherabulu, and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.

[@RobertRyan-q7b]

Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked him up, and I'm genuinely impressed.

[@kennycummings6863]

I found this really helpful. I can absolutely relate to this in so many ways and can easily identify the things that I need to change in myself. I want to do whatever it takes to save our marriage. Thank you.

[@kundaidube0505]

Kimberly, I'm incredibly grateful to have found your channel. Please keep up the fantastic work!

[@joshuacrisano5950]

My wife has wanted divorce/separation for over a month now, we are still loving together with our 3 kids but her attitude towards menis completely turned off, we are civil, not friends, in her eyes. I am doing everything i can diffuse situations and avoid conflict and coming across the marriage helper videos has been very helpful in giving me a path to pursue, and that is working on myself. I have been an emotional disaster for the last month but hearing that all is not lost and there is still a chance down the line that if i put the work in, it can still be okay even though she wants nothing to do with me. I am trying to stay positive and putting energy into bettering myself for my family

[@Dr.Drakken_]

I am in a very similar situation. Wife wants divorce. Three kids still living here told me a month ago. I hope you’re doing better

[@Enne-]

Been 4 days since my husband says he wants a divorce and my entire world crumbled. Reality hit me hard on how neglectful and mean I have been. I begged him for another chance. He reluctantly agreed but says he doesnt believe itll chanhe his mind. I am adamant to change and be the loving wife he desrves but its hard when he doesnt think there is hope. How are your sitautions now? Did either or both of you reconsile? Is there hope?

[@grbarker1222]

Reading this was as if i had written it myself, it is my situation down to a T. This all came out about 4 months ago for me and felt lost and alone for the first 6 weeks, not feeling like i can talk to anyone through embarrassment but finding this content has really revived me. I love my wife whole heartedly and desperately want to fix the issues and get our marriage back to what we had before, but i just didnt know how to approach the whole situation. I have re-watched this, and other videos from them, many times as the message of hope within it has helped me massively with step 1, as my emotions have been getting the best of me. I have been actively trying to follow the steps 2 and 3, to the point where now my wife is more open with communication and i have a feeling she is open to the idea of reconciliation, although she has not expressly said it. We were sleeping in separate beds for a while but now we are back in the same bed, a long road ahead of us but I trust in the process that we will recover. I encourage anybody who wants to save their marriage to take the steps they outline as it has so far been a life saver for me. Not just in saving the marriage but in my own mental health! I hope everyone's own journeys are doing better and I pray for you all.

[@milagrosbyrd6461]

I committed to saving my marriage before my husband left our home. I have tried a lot of these things, but I feel like nothing is helping. He continues to not communicate and seems determined not to come back. I am praying constantly because I know God is for marriages! I will continue to try and work and will stay committed because I love this man and he is my God ordained husband until death do us part.

[@JohnDretired]

Sometimes you have to take No for an answer. Most women aren't able to do this in my experience.

[@Mex461]

A wonderful therapist, I love to see her she’s great, I did my homework and got focused on my own mistakes, writing a lot and discovering new things to make my husband proud of me, now I’m so proud of him.

[@sarahhoward7505]

I’m doing all this to save my marriage and hoping he’ll see my efforts and realize I how much I love and willing to save us

[@Life.6792]

Can you share in details what you did ? I just need help 😢

[@leonardatiamzon7346]

Im extremely thankful for this video. This is excellent and I'm going to apply Step 1-3 ASAP and pray that God will work in his heart. You are very passionate and knowledgeable lady. Thank you very much.

[@Al-Sahem-Al-Ghul]

I’ve been following Marriage Helper for a minute, but I just stumbled across this channel right now. Needed this video for real.

[@LifeInTheLaterYears]

I'm a 69 yo woman. I've been married for almost 35 years. My husband never wants to have a conversation about anything hard and will give me the silent treatment. Right now it's been 4 weeks and I'm struggling

[@songsinger531]

I'm beginning my journey to save my marriage. I decided the moment my wife told me she wants a divorce and that she doesn't think we can fix the marriage that I was committed to doing whatever it takes. I know it won't be easy and I'm still torn apart daily by the pain of being separated and not being able to speak to her, but I am working first and foremost on creating the best husband I can be within myself and CALMING DOWN. I have faith that someday we will reconcile and rebuild trust, and our marriage will be stronger than ever for this groundwork that I am laying now, and will continue to lay down, not until the marriage is saved, but for the rest of my life, to never stop improving and building the future I want for my wonderful wife and I. Thank you.

[@dapv144]

It's absolutely depressing how simple and easy divorce is. The courts allow you to self file and have walkthrough guides to help you file electronically. Most other legal proceedings require a lawyer and encourage them. The attack against family is so disruptive and upsetting to the conscious that it is proof that it is a plan.

[@paulbarkanyi1]

Im going through a separation. These videos have really opened my eyes and I'm so thankful for this hope that it could be fixed

[@Atend794]

She has absolutely got this spot on. Best advice I have heard.x

[@rechargeyourself5628]

Is there a part two of this podcast with the remaining steps?

[@vick5971]

Wow what an amazing piece of advice on YT now a days. Quality through and through. My personal story so far is that I went to my divorced mom and the first thing she told me was to separate and leave my spouse. Although disappointed I understand why she would say that, I am not listening to her. I am not listening to her advise because I have my good Lord that is granting me and my wife some hope. There is hope. There is hope.

[@npwarr2651]

I’ve stood for my marriage for about a month and it’s one of the hardest things to do when you have a spouse that is just completely disinterested

[@BlackPriest001]

Almost 7 months in, I feel you.

[@npwarr2651]

@@BlackPriest001 any positives changes coming your way?

[@dwightwiley490]

3 months in

[@npwarr2651]

@@dwightwiley490 how’s it going for you, man?

[@dwightwiley490]

@@npwarr2651 about the same taking it one day at a time

[@mdavid2729]

Yes, you're right. You do see more on why you should, or how to get divorced than saving it. And spouses are influenced to divorce when other's get a divorce... People cannot think for themselves.

[@DinaRuiz-f9g]

After 34 years of marriage husband walked out it’s 25 days he is stonewalling me like I never meant nothing it’s a very dark cold lonely place to be I’ve cried every day all day unbearable

[@EmmelinePinkhurst]

I am so sorry. X

[@SPD-ml5iu]

I’m so very sorry

[@Ahweniepa]

I thank God every day for this channel. May God continue to bless the team for us. You guys are awesome. Following from Ghana. West Africa

[@nautblue4284]

My marriage counselor was enabling my victim mentally by validating the feelings I was having and sharing. I understand why: she has been taught to, and I was having suicidal ideation. I finally realized, once my wife told me she was no longer attracted to me, that I was blaming everything and everyone EXCEPT myself. I was putting too much pressure on her. And I stopped caring for myself. I also found out at 43 that I'm autistic. Relief at first on this news... So much of my past made sense. Then I started blaming that for all my problems. "I'm broken and can't be fixed". I was in identity crisis. I never would have thought my mid-life-crisis would involve autism. A lot of self reflection after receiving the news that my wife wasn't attracted to me anymore finally broke my victimhood mentality. PIES. Making myself the best version of me will make me happy. It will lessen my stress and lessen my autistic masking burden. Thank you.

[@charlesmiller3686]

My wife and I are at a Crossroads. I love my wife and want my family. to survive this. She has opened up about a lot. I realized I was not her safe space. That she has found that elsewhere. We know we love each other. But she says she's burned out. Help

[@darrellborland119]

@charlesmiller3686....Please take this time in your life to pick up and use tools offered here and elsewhere, in hopes of getting thru this time. Perhaps time apart? It seems to clarify the dissident issues between husband and wife. thanks.

[@WildernessgalM]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@Christabel-d4u]

My marriage is about to break now because of I involving family members to help us but it's causing more fault, my family demanding I live the marriage saying it was a mistake

[@CeciliaNgulube]

Woman you speak with so much passion. God bless you

[@erichurt9884]

I watched this video. And I want to save my marriage I want us to be us again!!!!! I’ve been told to give her space and time but this video makes me feel like I need to show her I’m that guy who we were dating, 10 years of marriage now and 3 kids of course we get into parent mode but I want to date my wife again!

[@jgott49]

I’m currently going through the exact same thing. We’ve been living apart for over a month, and time & space is always the answer. We have three young kids and life just got away from us. I love her so much and want to fix our marriage more than anything in the world. I miss her everyday. I’m making changes physically and mentally to be a better man for myself, my kids and my wife. I’m never going to give up on our marriage.

[@erichurt9884]

@@jgott49 doing the same also, it’s tough and mentally draining everyday but we guys have to support each other because our Kids don’t know what’s really going on. No marriage is perfect but when one little thing gets screwed up the woman wants to bail. I’ve seen so many thing in worse situations then mine and my wife can’t understand that she’s hurting it even worse because of her emotions.

[@agoodgurl2k]

I understand. I've wanted my husband to date me again for years. 😢

[@erichurt9884]

@@agoodgurl2k for me it’s hard. My wife works in Emergency medicine so she works like 60 hours a week, she has meetings, trainings etc. so planning for Us is very difficult because she prioritizes Work over her family which is the problem, she prioritizes Work even over her kids most of them time.

[@agoodgurl2k]

@@erichurt9884 love conquers all ... Continue to fight for your marriage. So in your heart you know you tried and the lessons you learn will be so valuable. But I understand...I'm trying to hang in there to...even though it seems hopeless, at times. 🙌🏾🙏🏾🕊️

[@ke1tor]

I think I’ve gone through so much of those feelings that I just try to feel peace within myself at the time being. It’s been 2 years since the 14 years of confusion ended. I’m tired of running, trying to show compassion, anger, understanding. Pretty much be a firefighter with just a tad too little water to put out the little fires everywhere. I might’ve thought that I was an Atlas to her world, but even he has to put the world down and rest a while. It is what it is, and she is who she is. You simply can’t fix damaged people, they must fix themselves.

[@jonathanbyrd4724]

So awesome! Thank you Kimberly!! God heals. God is filling me with his peace, grace and love even to my ex. God bless her and make her happy, joyous and free.

[@soitacynthia9321]

This is the best marriage advise I have had. Thanks Kim.

[@josephkenway4068]

How do you identify what the core issue is?

[@patrycjaostrowska1742]

Omg you are completely right. It was very hard for me to find something how to save my marriage... I love you video. You gave my hopes!

[@jodibrown7273]

Is there a second video to finish the steps?

[@Thegrestestcomeback]

Thank you I have been stuck trying to fix my marriage while tearing it down more

[@common_sense1567]

This is the biggest challenge!!

[@tamaracain650]

Kimberly Bean Holm you're amazing my son and daughter-in-law are facing this now and it's breaking my heart your advice is so sound I have sent him this video and I really hope he listens to it you're very reassuring and gives hope ❤

[@TheTamsTunes]

What I’ve tried that didn’t work was talk about the problems for hours all the time.

[@joettedubeau9685]

What do you do when you believe your spouse has a script pill problem and they deny it??? You have proof of the problem. So you ask them to leave. They do and now they won’t talk to you. What do I do???

[@psychicmediumtree8743]

You can't always fix a marriage

[@dapv144]

Lol. I bet. Thats something so easily understood but rarely put into practice correctly. I hope it gets better for you and you spouse. I would like to say that discussing problems is important. You have to know what to fix before you can know the how. But offering a problem without a solution that you are invested in is not the ideal way of moving forward toward positive outcomes and isn't LIKELY to be effective.

[@smokingcrab2290]

Every single time I even calmly talk about our issues to my wife, she just throws a tandrum, gaslights, I gotta walk on eggshells, and she blames me for everything. She literally takes no responsibility for her actions at all. She might show an ounce of concern here and there. But even if I talk to her gently and reasonably it still won't work. She makes herself mad and then tells me she's the intelligent one. All the progress we could possibly make is utterly sandbagged by her in every possible way. I spend hundreds on marriage coaching and counseling. All she wants is her way. And we have a son together. I'm extremely close to just cutting her a check for half my net worth and telling her to leave and we will share custody.

[@Atonement-]

​@@joettedubeau9685.... for real?

[@nikkidurghalli5865]

Very realistic wise and genuine advice. I love this video. Thank you Kimberly❤

[@MrSylviodrolet]

Just wow !! Really inspiring 🙏

[@CliveRoberts-ly3eu]

Thank you for all the positive enlightenment. I have been working endlessly on myself since my partner left and am encouraging her to do the same, first for herself and then us. I have found it a worthwhile journey in helping myself and it has encouraged me to make the effort to be an ongoing effort on my part.

[@IsraelBarron-xb2du]

How do I hear the rest? Part two.

[@DNolan-qy9pf]

Kimberly thank you for sharing all this information.

[@SaffyKaffy]

How did counseling make everything worse? I don't think its fair to say that... I think your program, plus a good therapist, can help tremendously.

[@darrellborland119]

@SaffyKaffy....Counseling in some cases, just brought out their differences...and not willing to do the hard relationship work. We tend to "throw our past in front of us", however, many can attest to benefit' of those changes. It usually takes a maturity-evolution, and a priority above all else. Thanks.

[@SaffyKaffy]

@@darrellborland119 this is very true. Thank you!

[@loracrisp7339]

My husband an I went to one of your dads retreat. I had already been watching you guys I knew that God ordered our steps. But once again my husband and I are separated. He still comes around and he pays the house payment but. He hasn’t wanted to forgive me. He always brings up the past. I don’t know how to deal with it. There is so much more I know I need help. I know I need a change. But I want some things that he needs to change how do I change that part.

[@jacobmauldin230]

You have to fix yourself. You can control that part. Usually your partner will follow and change as well.

[@artbynao]

How do you know what to fix?

[@darrellborland119]

@@artbynao Thank you for your reach-out. Ask them, maybe? Ask a friend...you will eventually hear what you must hear, to consider what YOU need to do. Suggestion: Start a journal...there are plenty of tools, Thanks.

[@anthonysmallwood3401]

After looking at many podcasts I can most easily relate to your three steps how do I get more information

[@lidwinaahdar6983]

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I FEEL SO SAD wishing I'd had this kind of wisdom or support as I was going through my own marital issues. I've just been listening to another Christian workshop on marriage and divorce in the last few days. It was great because safety has its place in separation when appropriate. It was a great workshop and I did get the gist of all why one should walk away from her marriage. But at the end of it, it seemed like it was mostly on justifications on leaving a marriage though it made sense. Yes, there were points where there was encouragement to stay but all in all, it mostly was the opposite of what you just spoken about here in this great video teaching. This is ALL encouraging and gearing towards SAVING MARRIAGES and I feel your heart in it. I am all in it with you. I wish I'd known or heard of something like this in my time ten years ago. This makes me wonder. Why is divorce spreading like a deadly disease now when thesre is more help and knowledge on preventing divorce? My divorce still hurts after 10 years. Especially hearing about what wor "I" could have done to save my marriage. 😢😢😢Thank you for sharing you knowledge. I could still help someone one day or my own kids!

[@aguilaral5720]

Thank You For Your Video Is And Will Be Helpful On My Restoration First Working On My self. As my Wife has told me as well. All things are possible if we believe and want to.

[@leonwebb-j5w]

Very good a tough listen from a husband that has been absent

[@ChanelChanel20]

Yes, we tried counseling 2 or 3 times in our 38 year marriage, it didn't help.

[@kalkidanWossen]

1. Remain calm 2. Find root cause of your problems 3. Do things that will pull them back not push them away God bless you… i. Found one person on earth who understood me for real and gave me solution. Sometimes the reason why we pass through such hard time is to be help for others. They way you talk made me understand how bad you needed this kind of help at the time and now you dont want others to suffer looking solution at the wrong place. I hope one day i will be a help for others as well cause my story is a just simply a book. Stay blessed

[@jordanhenshaw]

I did the Google search myself and out of the first like 50 results I got one result that was about marriages that can't be saved. All the others were about saving marriages and I got zero ads about divorce lawyers. Possibly you get those negative ads because you were already searching for that stuff in the past? Or maybe she meant this was something that happened many years ago I don't remember.

[@nineteeneightyfour3680]

My pastor who is the best bible teacher in the world (my opinion) says councilors are a huge waste of money. He had the fourth largest southern Baptist church in Texas for 15 years until he resigned and left the SBC because it’s gone to the dogs. I found out from a friend who went to his church that he was moving to the Taos NM area and startling an online church. I had left all churches and anything related because I thought the church twisted the Bible. When I met with him (Dr. Randy White) I discovered that what I was sensing the church was doing is exactly why he quit FB Katy TX. I’ve had a rough rough rough 34 years of marriage given my wife is a devout Baptist and Beth Moore type believer and no amount of counseling can break the ties that control her. Dr White told me that he would not see a counselor and might have to accept that it doesn’t work and can’t be fixed. I believe that if one will listen to this woman or the woman at the happy marriage school they can have a happy marriage

[@stratguitarman7831]

I DONT HAVE THE $ OR THE time to pay anyone for counseling especially online ones ,already been to 2 ineffective counselors

[@beefstew976]

Thank you so much! ❤

[@yaya11407]

How does one get clarity when he won't really tell me? I admit we had problems but many of our issues usually started by his anger. He's a retired veteran of 22 yrs. with a lot of emotional military baggage. I tried really hard to be supporting and one day was blindsided by him and his therapist saying he wants a divorce. If I keep trying my pies but don't have clarification as to what is truly bothering him how can I save our marriage? We are 4-5 months away from our marriage of 17 yrs ending with divorce finalized early next year. As it is I work hard for me and my kids who are struggling with this to change but he makes it difficult and sometimes I feel he knows how to push my buttons to get me emotional, get me to react in a negative way and then turn around to put blame on me.

[@tracyconnor1964]

My husband filed for divorce and he will not talk to me about anything. He says I treated him awful and he is done. Nothing is going to change. Please help

[@milagrosbyrd6461]

My husband said the same thing. He said we didn't have a marriage left to fight for. I'm praying for any opportunity to fix our marriage and to reconcile.

[@elizabethnjeri5843]

I had given up on marriage.thank you so much for the information 🙏🙏

[@alalvarado2637]

Very well said . May God bless u and yours ..

[@michaeldurairajs6696]

Thank you it's really good for any relationships. Can you share the script. Will help. Really great principles 🌻🕊️🎯💯💞🌍🕯️

[@quintincrum797]

Dr. Kim, On your point of pulling closer, my story is similar to yours!! I also opened the door for my wife. She said I was the only one that Treat like a queen. And she never had a man do those things for her. Acts of service. Words of affirmation. Those are her love languages. I Surprise her. I NEVER stopped doing those things. Wise man said "whatever you did to get her, continue doing it to keep her." Now, she doesn't want me speaking any of her love languages.

[@smokingcrab2290]

I was just myself and my wife loved me. Then over time she started hating me. Especially when we moved in with her parents in order to build a house. Then I pulled the rug on that because I couldn't stand how disconnected and out of place I felt. I was being forced to fit into her family and live extremely close to them and I couldn't stand it. My boundaries were being crossed and I didn't want that situation anymore. She's resented me ever since and now we have a child and we're probably going to split up.

[@mititatak8313]

thank you for beautifull advice and i must say this is the best video❤

[@yvonnecato3848]

I click on this podcast to learn something. Just to say there is no need to put down someone or something to make yourself known If you have something that works and is unique then those who you want to help will have to try it and prove it for themselves. The foundation for marriage counseling was set already ,you are given the wisdom to build in it; others coming behind will build on your as well. There is no limit on knowledge. I am truly happy that you were able to repair your marriage. There is no one size that fits all, however, I trust that the strategy you employed will be beneficial to many. Be mindful that God sent you for such a time as this, continue to be a blessing.

[@dawnprestmo1675]

This is exactly what I need!

[@ritannaji492]

How can I help my husband who is addict . My husband felt home for 3 weeks now . Everyone is telling me to leave the marriage and move on 😔 what should I do . And he’s phone number is not reachable. Please someone should help .

[@dapv144]

I feel all of that, and im still breathing. Im not giving up on us. I owe her everything and i owe it to myself to be the best me. She always makes me try harder and gives me drive. Can i do it without her. Im sure i could. But as long as were both alive, i won't stop trying to be her source of strength and happiness as she is mine. I just want her to talk to me.

[@jasonw2696]

I would have to agree with your statement about counseling, making things in a marriage worse🤷🏻‍♂️ because that was my experiencez

[@juozupaitis]

I'm a fan of Marriage Helper...they've shared a lot of tips that have helped my own personal journey....AND I'm a fan of counseling. I had to work on myself & my part of the marriage. I get that it's better for their business to tell you why they are better than counseling...but in reality...what they are doing IS counseling. So I'm scratching my head because the message is confusing. But not all therapists are well trained (many social work programs focus more on policy & systemic changes & less on individual/interpersonal issues)...finding a therapist that meshes with you is a lot like dating...you may have to try out a few before finding the one that resonates most with you.

[@charliehyland6292]

How much is your coaching? I just experienced divorce but want my wife and family back together.

[@MarcSteiny]

Kimberly, this is was so eye-opening. I'm going through an extremely difficult time after 20 years of marriage. The push and pull just smashed me right upside my head. I feel like it's a little too late, but I will certainly try to be a better person. I'm not divorced yet, but I've already got the, "I love you but I'n not in love with you." Also, the roommate situation has also been going on for a couple of years. So much of what you have said resonates within me, the examples you are saying, do you do this or do you do that? I've been nodding my head yes...

[@darrellborland119]

Your narrative is quite real and rather heart breaking in it's reality. Antidote: De-emphasize the blaming of one's spouse, look in the mirror with an honest self-evaluation each morning. Have I been the man I want to be.? What dissonant areas of our relationship am I responsible for? Next time, how do I avoid the triggers, and become a better man and husband? "Bravado, My "rights", macho attitudes', have no place here, unless we are willing to accept the negative consequences of eventual loneliness. Lady, you hit the nail on the head concerning the emotional cost to a guy who divorces after a long relationship. For more "linear-thinking/acting guys", this descent into self-destructive behavior can be quite common, profound, devastating. and permanent. Perfectionism, alcoholism, drug abuse, mental illness, licentious conduct, can easily result. Recovery groups are full of these broken men and women. And women have their own version of this "tailspin" trajectory. The bottom line for many guys seems to be maturity, only with time, life-mistakes realized, a true life-changing apology, (Contriteness?). Eventually, healing/reconciliation becomes the most important matter in a guy's life, who takes responsibility for his own "issues", Otherwise, an empty soul/heart results, shortening one's life, and a living"Hell" can result. These are not just words. Many men suffer from the hand of a father who destroyed his sense of well-being. Relationship dysfunction' tends to run generation to generation. A suggestion for those men who are in this negative vortex: Watch a film from 2008: "Fireproof". To heal his marriage, a suggestion is to "Study one's spouse"...if a guy's love is profound, a transformation may occur, reigniting that lost love with her, and a healing may result. Thank you, folks, for considering my response. And, thank you, Lady, for your honest ups' and downs", with Hubby. A third committed listener/helper seems to be the order of the day, if we are going to stop fooling ourselves. You were referring to "rational lies" we tell ourselves, when referring to friends that act as co-dependent' for our negative behavior. Another suggestion: watch Jordan Peterson's videos...he brooks no BS when talking about man/woman marriage as the bedrock of a civil, well ordered society. And, good luck concerning your PhD work. You are superb, Lady. In another life, I may have been your colleague, LOL. PS: One's feelings! The usual counselor model included this misguided nonsense of identifying one's feelings as the be all end all. A huge take-way: Guys: stop controlling her...A huge issue for those in trouble. Bottom line: don't take her for granted, ever! Be open, honest, vulnerable...if you both have similar moral standards. 😇

[@smokingcrab2290]

Women's immaturity is what kills marriages. Women will call a man immature or even abusive for standing up for his own boundaries. She will brand him a narcissist unless he constantly capitulates to her selfish demands.

[@kathywieland9246]

What do you do when the lines of communication are not open and they refuse to talk to you at all?

[@michaelnokaj]

Thank you this so much help ❤

[@LauraGilchrist-qg3bo]

Tired Helpless Defeated...all of the above

[@gentilejoshsaved1646]

Is there a next video?

[@littlebrunk]

My wife filed for divorce in mid August. I found out about it on our 9th wedding anniversary by way of a note. She hasn’t really spoken to me since and we live together. The papers were served to me on Halloween and I had to respond to the complaint 20 days later. Since mid August it’s been complete stonewalling and our 6 year old son is now starting to feel the vibes in this house. I don’t know how to restore it at this point. She doesn’t seem willing to do anything work towards a renewal.

[@rbyronson2426]

I thank you for this video. I was told that she wants to separate we will sell the house and split money. I’m in therapy myself now not sure if she is as far as I know she’s not. She keeps saying this started 8yrs ago. I remember that I need to get help. But i didn’t, I feel so terrible for not doing that. I’ve learned stuff about myself like complex- PTSD childhood trauma. And she says we are toxic together and we need to go our separate ways and heal. We told our kids we were separating don’t know for how long. Maybe 1 week, 8months, or 10 yrs. So I’m still living with them she has not given me a dead line to move out. I don’t want to deal w the house & fix it up cause there’s good and bad memories there. I don’t want to give up on us, but she’s hell bent, she said I love you but not in love with you. I never want sex with you, so it’s been a month from that. Was told to the kids we will still on vacation together we will still do family stuff. Then as we are cooking she said I want to start back eating as a family. This morning she said she stressed out from what’s gonna happen when we split. So with that I’m like it’s better to stay and work on us together. So any advice or help? Do u stop texting her through out the day? Im just lost, I feel like the giant in the sky from the jack & bean stalk. I’m all alone, just me by myself. Well not yet but I’m already feeling that. To me Father’s Day hopefully won’t suck, then my birthday won’t be the same as the past ones. Just a real big bummers.

[@mimmituyet2789]

I'm on the same boat. Praying for you!

[@rbyronson2426]

Thank you, it’s not easy and I just want to work on us and stay together. I just feel helpless & alone.

[@Everyhandletaken213]

Instead of focusing on YOUR Father’s Day, make her Mother’s Day special, instead of focusing on YOUR birthday, make her birthday special, and make her feel loved, without wanting anything in return,

[@rbyronson2426]

@@Everyhandletaken213 thank you for sharing that.

[@ryang1589]

this is awesome this video gives me hope

[@timromain6964]

Very helpful

[@anniecherian6280]

I try everything, my husband doent want come back, hes only giving everything financial helping he, dont want save marriage, I dont know what to do I m overwhelmed

[@alex-vh2vd]

stop trying to save it. its a partnership. continue to pray and ask God if this is what he wants. many ppl marry out of God's will and once that happens, we know how its gona end.

[@2Justin7]

I feel like I'd give up every single thing I own and my hair maybe even a few fingers just to have my wife watch this video with me if that is a good idea either way you literally nailed every single problem my wife an I have iv struggled with addiction she struggles with resentment we have had the exact problems you described with counseling we both have major factors in how we were brought up with our parents ect. I feel hope after watching this thank you Godbless you

[@bingo90210]

My wife left because she said she missed her independence. That she was incapable of a life long commitment and the obligation of marriage. Not sure how anyone can reconcile that.

[@pipergunderson-swaney4539]

We did marriage counseling and basically were fired- that time it brought us closer because we frustrated the counselor to the point he said- I am done with both of you.

[@ljubicaorbovic1362]

What an emotional lecture.

[@katizig]

My husband just told me today that he wants a divorce (he found out I had an emotional affair with someone from my past). The hardest part for me is that this is the only real conflict we have had in our 7 years together and he just wants to throw in the towel. I've talked to him about working together to address the root of the issue, but right now he is stonewalling me. In the meantime, I'm going to use your advice, especially paying attention to changing some things that I do that might ne pushing him away. I'm glad I found this video. Thank you ❤

[@jeanettehigginbotham]

Can you please share why you had the emotional affair? What was missing in your marriage? I'm trying to understand why my husband does this.

[@johnsonjj117]

It’s probably going to be hard for him to trust you again. My wife had an affair and after I found out about it she agreed to end it and begin rebuilding our relationship but that is difficult and uncomfortable at times. She doesn’t do well with that so she started a 2nd affair. People tend to revert to past behavior to self soothe. The one difference is you sound like you acknowledge a need for change. All I can say from personal experience is he needs total transparency from you and 0 resistance or complaining about your loss of independence. Work of addressing your problems first and show him a change is all I can suggest.

[@johnsonjj117]

@@jeanettehigginbothamI mean most likely what was missing was open communication on your husband’s end. He didn’t tell you how he felt or what he was tempted to do. He then most likely allowed resentment to build up as a means to justify his behavior and what he wanted to do. My wife held onto resentment from an issue we had, confided our problems to a male coworker and didn’t even acknowledge my efforts to resolve the issue when she was finally able to talk to me about how it made her feel. She ais by that time ahe was “too deep” and I noticed she became hyper critical.

[@michaelbrown6014]

My wife moved in with her brother next door we going to start talking to are pastor and she said she wants to do it to love herself again and she told me it will take more than a month

[@HustlinHorse]

This is amazing!

[@ts4231]

COUNSELING (bad counselors excluded) does not make everything worse. Counseling unsurfaces the often uncomfortable stuff clients need to work through and if unwilling, no change can occur. UNWILLINGNESS makes everything worse. In marriage counseling, as you know, if one party is unwilling there is no chance at the real change to have a satisfactory and thriving marriage. The willing partner can still gain something from the process though, which is often knowledge, clarity and direction.

[@lllllRBlllll]

I feel like I'm a 8 or 9 on calmness. That's not to say I didn't panic and a absolutely feel all the things -especially because how she left was pretty cold, but I didn't do or say anything stupid yet. In the past one of her issues was that I wasn't emotional enough. I feel like maybe she wants me to freak out and chase her down as a display of her worth. Can regulating myself emotionally this much be a bad thing?

[@CutronaSalvatore]

Yes, I am committed!

[@lovewords]

This was very helpful , thank you so much and God bless you ❤🙏🏻

[@Life.6792]

I wondering how much it’s cost your professional help ? Thanks.

[@krmanning07]

How do you make changes when the other spouse won’t communicate what changes need to be made? Or when then other spouse is emotionally abusive? Or when you haven’t stopped what draws them close but they still pull away? Or when there is a hidden addiction but the other spouse refuses to communicate with you to identify the actual underlying issue? What do you do when the other spouse has always been closed off and kept a wall up from emotional connection because they are used to being and doing everything solo? What do you do and how do you save a marriage after you have kicked the other spouse out for emotional and domestic abuse, lying and cheating and refusal to tell the truth and then they change their number and refuse contact until divorce papers are signed? Even though that spouse hasn’t filed for divorce?

[@Razorusskie]

So is the course or a program that you for on saving your marriage? Is it a podcast series? Were is “Marriage Helper?”

[@kimberlybeamholmes]

Hi, thanks for your comment! I am the CEO of Marriage Helper. We exist to save marriages and strengthen families. We have over 1000 videos on how to save your marriage over on our KZbin channel which you can find here 👉 youtube.com/@marriagehelper Or you can go to marriagehelper.com to learn more about what we do!

[@Razorusskie]

@@kimberlybeamholmes thank you!

[@alvinholder1091]

How do I sighn up