Blood test results and photo shoot dilemmas | solo mum casual conversations

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[@llnjwrg]

My dad’s first language is Spanish and my mom is fluent in American Sign Language (she used to teach at a deaf school). To this day I resent that I was not taught either of them growing up. I easily could have been trilingual but now I’m struggling to learn languages as an adult. I still do my best - took Spanish in high school, minored in American Sign Language in university and am currently learning Norwegian on Duolingo, but boy do I wish I already had that in my back pocket. Language is a skill that will always be useful and it’s so easy to learn as a child

[@mairi2693]

My daughter is Scottish, but now lives in Wales. She has just enrolled my 6 month old grandson into a Welsh speaking nursery as she wants him to be bi-lingual. I think it's good that he'll be exposed to a language that he will most likely use when he is older. I think I'll need to learn some words myself!

[@ChristinaH2190]

American secondary teacher here - where I live, we are one of the most rural school districts in my state. There are 6 towns that make up my district, which means some of my pupils have a 1hr bus ride to school every day and a 1hr bus ride home each afternoon. From what I've gathered about the UK (I plan on moving to England next summer), there are usually a number of schools per town/city, so there are more options for pupils and families and schools are generally more centrally located than in the States.

[@aglaurendance]

I’m American, but lived in England for two separate chunks of childhood and grad school. My bus ride to school, from my house in a very rural part of England, was around 45 minutes or so (my friends on that bus that had the longest ride had a 75 minute ride). There was one school closer to me, but my parents wanted me in a faith-based state-run school (which is normal over there) and the faith school was also significantly higher rated than the local school, so my parents did a school choice application for me to go there (they put my sister in the primary school in the next village over- there weren’t any safe walking paths to the village and she, fairly reasonably, didn’t trust her 8-year-old on the public bus system in a foreign country and the timings weren’t convenient for the school hours, so my Mom would drive her to school both ways, after dropping me off at the school bus stop that was two miles up hill from my farm, although I would walk home). My best friend at my secondary school lived about 45-60 minutes away from the school as well, but in the opposite direction to me. My parents “loved” that they got to spend a decent length of time in the car when they would take me to her house. I’m an elementary school teacher near DC now- there’s so many people where I live that I can drive approximately 10 minutes in any direction from my school and come across another elementary school (the high schools in my area are each about 15-20 minutes away from each other). Some of the kids and teachers at my school bike to my school and my Mom just bought me a bike so that I can bike to school some days. Our town is fairly safe, but the walking/biking paths are not really direct, so it takes quite awhile to get places.

[@BadAtGoodHabits]

The US is not set up for walking. We have yellow busses to transport kids depending on how far away you live. A lot of kids are dropped off to school or the bus stop by a parent that drives them. When I was a kid, this wasn't as common. That said biking to school even back them was uncommon. Biking for transportation in much of the US isn't safe. As far as public transit, it barely exists outside of large cities. We set up everything for cars and took out the public transit that our grandparents and great grandparents used to have.

[@erinl.2292]

I'm American and I grew up taking a big yellow school bus to school. I now live in a city where neighborhood schools are walking distance, although I am weighing the benefits of a school outside of our neighborhood.

[@haleriam]

I'm also from the US and second this. Bikers are treated horribly by drivers here (because of how our roads are designed and also just the culture) so its rare to see folks biking for transport and even rarer to see children/teens doing it. I was dropped off by my dad each day in elementary school and we only lived a mile from the school. My parents didn't love that we would have had to cross the busiest street in my whole city to get to school. I don't have kids, but have heard from other folks who do that some schools don't even allow parents to skip the drop-off lines by dropping their kids off a couple blocks away. The reasoning being that they don't want kids walking through the drop off line traffic to get to school, thus forcing more families to participate in the school drop-off traffic. Yay. Car culture.

[@BadAtGoodHabits]

@@haleriam How does that if the parents don’t drive? My mother had a disability that prevented her from driving.

[@haleriam]

@@BadAtGoodHabits Like I said not my kids so I’m not firsthand familiar with the set up, but I’m sure that they still run school buses for folks living in the school district. I imagine that the buses do get caught up in the traffic though.

[@Sarahr98998]

No, our kids don't walk or bike to school. The US is obviously huge and most kids don't live near enough to school, nor would their parents let them walk alone. It's the school bus or parent drop-off by car.

[@CezzL]

The language discussion is exactly what I've been thinking about at the moment too. I'm Welsh but only learned very limited Welsh that everyone learns in school. I wish I'd gone to a Welsh-speaking school and really want to start attending adult evening classes now because I wish I knew how to speak it. It's made me think that I want to put my child into a Welsh speaking school when the time comes so that they have the opportunity I didn't. On the other hand, my donor is also from a non-English speaking country, and I've also been wondering whether to let my child have lessons for that language too so that they're also connected to that part of their heritage.

[@cheekymunki6]

I have a degree in Translation & Interpreting, and strongly feel a second language is one of the best gifts a parent can give a young child. The opportunities and experiences I've had because I speak multiple languages, I never could have imagined. It also does wonders for overall intelligence, acemedic performance and even brain health in later life. Particularly being a native speaker of English; a second language really opens doors.

[@PrincessDusk]

I only speak English but as I'm Canadian we all learn a bit of French in school, I wish I took it more seriously. Government jobs usually list bilingual as an asset and I feel like it opens the door to jobs abroad so I put my child into a French Immersion school at age 6. So far I'm pleased with it. Always worth a try to see how they will receive it and you could try again later if there's not much interest the first time.

[@mayra3277]

For second languages: do it! It's easier to learn the younger you are. I'm German, in my 20s and currently living in Denmark. I grew up only speaking German and then started English classes (in regular public school) around age 9, French and Latin at age 10, began using Duolingo to teach myself Spanish around age 15, moved to the Netherlands to university at 17 and switched to Dutch on Duolingo, began Spanish classes in university at 18, eventually moved to Denmark a year ago and began taking classes here. Most of my life, including university, happens in English. Many of my best friends all have different first languages - we communicate in English, but it is always so fun to learn about how different some of our thoughts are in different languages! If I have children one day I definitely hope to raise them bilingually or even trilingually (speaking German at home if we don't live in Germany, English with my friends and, if I stay here, Danish in kindergarten/school). It doesn't work for every child, but I think it's 100% worth a try. And wouldn't it be cool if you got to visit the country that Oryn's donor is from in a few years and he might be able to talk to and play with other kids?

[@treefrog101]

As a polyglot adult who never knew their bio dad's family and who is finally learning the language of my maternal grandparents, highly recommend introducing your kid to his donor's language and culture. I wish SO much my parents connected me to both of my heritages. Not knowing my bio dad's side at all has made me feel like an outcast in my own ancestrial lands and I honestly hate it. It's like a part of my body/genes are disconnected to my life experience. Just a little connection to my mum's side has given me at least some materials, so to speak, for my body and life experience to build a bridge when I was ready. For my dad's side...my body and life experiences are disconnected and even though I have experiences in my ancestrial lands...there is literally no building material to connect my experiences to my body/genes. It's hard to explain and incredibly confusing.

[@DaisyShelton-z8t]

Hi Bryony - long time silent follower here (dating back to the cup comparison days) :). I had a similar flurry of over-tiredness earlier this year and also tested as having low folate levels (I believe they can be accompanied by low b12 levels). Like you, I was sleeping more than ever, but climbing into bed for naps on my lunch breaks and as soon as I logged off in the evenings. Anyway, I started taking over the counter folate and b12 from Boots and felt like a different person after a couple of weeks. So do be reassured that folate deficiency is probably what’s making you feel so exhausted, and that it is very much fixable! ❤

[@BGing_Foodie]

It's much easier to sound like a native and become fluent in a language you're exposed to before the age of 5. I would definitely recommend starting foreign language immersion ASAP. I would do it for as long as there is no push back. Exposure in the early years does wonders. The same golden period applies to music as well. Crazy benefits to starting music instruction by the age of 5-6. Of course, both foreign language and music studying are beneficial at all ages, but they do wonders if started by the age of 5-6. I love how thoughtful you are about making choices for him and limiting how much you show him on social media. Take care!

[@frank_fruitsalad]

I'm due in December and my partner is German, so I will speak English and my partner will speak German with the kid. I think that learning any language as a second language is beneficial - because you will learn different language structures, which could help with picking up a third language, if he ever wants. I would maybe not to stress too much about which language you choose, french could be great because it makes it easier to pick up Spanish/ Italian for example. And whatever the donor language is will also have its benefits.

[@chrissy_matia]

I was raised bilingual from the moment I spoke I knew both English and French and I'm so thankful for my parents for teaching me both as a Canadian living near the Quebec border I use French a lot and English a lot so I am very grateful

[@pummelbaerchen]

I'm from Germany and my mum used to play children's English learning tapes for my brother and me starting when we were very young. They had English children's songs and I think explanations in German of what they were about. She also taught us how to count to ten in different languages. I think that played a big part in my motivation to learn languages. When I started learning English at school, I was very keen to read books and watch films in English (and later French) because I thought it was so cool to be able to understand another language. I think that was the key to my success in learning the languages - I just used them outside of school. Maybe you can find a similar playful way to introduce Oryn to the languages you want him to learn so that it doesn't feel like a chore.

[@RomySews]

I would absolutely encourage my child to have an awareness of other languages if I have them. If I could logistically manage and afford it I would put them in bilingual school or live abroad but even if not I’d try to encourage language learning however I can. I did French and Spanish at uni and have learned Italian too and I absolutely love being able to speak other languages when I meet speakers of them. I wish language education was better in the U.K. because I’ve met kids from other countries who are really good conversationally in English (or other languages) and it’s such a good skill for so many reasons. Look into organisations like Bilinguasing who do clubs and baby/toddler singing or play sessions in other languages. Even if he doesn’t become fluent or keep studying them, I think it gives them an awareness of other cultures and is really good for the brain and for problem solving etc. I so wish I’d had more intense language study when I was younger because I didn’t truly become fluent and confident until I lived abroad during uni and after. There’s no harm in introducing other languages through books, songs, cartoons etc. I still remember my neighbour (she spoke conversational French and was a teacher) reading me French children’s books as a kid and I think it sparked an interest that became a passion of mine.

[@Doinita.]

Learning a foreign language it's pretty useful, can help with better job opportunities too. I speak my native language, English and Spanish and it's nice to be able to connect with other people that can't speak my language. In my country we study two foreign languages in school (one from 1st or 2nd grade and the second one from 5th grade). Usually English and for the second one Spanish, French or German depending on the school/class. The school classes for foreign languages are mandatory but there are optional classes as well, starting from kindergarten. If you have the opportunity to help him learn a new language I highly recommend it 😊 It's way easier to learn it as a kid, I'm trying to learn French now and it's a struggle 😅🫣

[@lauraelliott6909]

Walking to school isn't the most common thing in the US. More commonly, kids ride school buses provided by most public school districts, or are driven by parents. Biking for transportation is not very common here because everything is more spread out. Americans are more likely to only bike for recreaction or fitness than as a commute. That said, I did walk to school during elementary school (grades 1-6) and high school (grades 10-12). I took the school bus to junior high (grade 7-9) because it was farther away. In high school, I was struck by a car walking to school one very snowy morning and ended up in the hospital with a head injury. After that, my mom would prefer to drive me for her own peace of mind whenever it was very snowy. My dad was an immigrant from Hungary at a young age and spoke fluent Hungarian and English (learned in school). I really wish he had taught me to speak Hungarian when I was young. I took German during high school and university, but didn't keep up with it, as I don’t have much opportunity to use it. I wish I had studied Spanish instead, as it's widely spoken in many areas of the US.

[@karinamkung]

I'm ethnically Chinese, but born and raised in the Philippines. As a child, my family members spoke a mix of English and Hokkien chinese dialect. Others in my surroundings spoke Filipino. I studied in a private school whose medium of instruction is mostly English and Mandarin chinese from kindergarten to high school. From my experience, the languages that stick the most are those that you can practice in day to day life. For me, that would be English, Filipino and Hokkien dialect. Sad to say, though I was formally taught Mandarin in school for around 13 years, I am not fluent in it because I hardly use it. If I had a child though, I would still enroll them in schools that teach mandarin language as a way of keeping their heritage and also a language that might be useful in the business world.

[@thecookingandcleaningmom5878]

Where i am from in the US, buses are not common for the general public unless you are lower class (may not own a car) or maybe traveling in a city from another place (vacationing). Biking is also not common unless you’re a child riding at a park or maybe at your own home. I am in a more rural area and when we drop our child off at school it may take 2-3 min in the car line. Pickup will depend on where you are in line. Some people sit in the car line for up to 2 hours ahead of time just so they can be at the front of the line which is a little ridiculous in my opinion. Even if you’re at the end of the line it takes maybe 10 minutes at the very most to pickup your child. To walk or ride a bike to or from school in the US (at least where I am from) you have to live within so many yards of the school. It isn’t safe here for kids to walk very far. Buses and car riders are definitely the most common ways for kids transportation to and from school.

[@ashleystanley7941]

In America, it is pretty rare to walk or cycle to school unless in a major metro area. It is also rare for car pick up and drop off to take longer than 15-20 minutes. Most of the time it's like a 5-10 minute thing, even in a very rural area. School buses are available almost everywhere. The only reason someone would absolutely have to drive their kids to school would be if their work schedule didn't jive with the bus schedule (and therefore wouldn't allow their child to be supervised up until bus pick up or right after drop off).

[@olivialehti11]

I'm from Finland and here kids walk or take bike to school, schools are normally near there you live. Kids langue, in Finland you start 1 language (often English) in year one (7 years old) and then if they choose other language than English in year one they start reading it in year 3-4. Then year 6 they start reading Swedish (it is second official language ). Sadly English take over other language.

[@leonidasreviews2912]

In the US it is pretty rare for children to live within walking or biking distance to their school and if they do, it is probably not safe to do so due to lack of sidewalks and bike infrastructure. I live in the US now and my son has never walked to school very sad. I grew up in Canada where everyone who lives in a city can walk to school. People here drive their kids to the school bus stop except myself, we walk. They drive 100-300 meters wild to me!

[@HeidiSholl]

Edit: This is just my perspective as someone who had a very negative experience being forced to do certain hobbies as a child: My mum forced quite a lot of my extra curricular hobbies onto me growing up (French, German, Violin, Gymnastics...), and I have grown to resent her for it and ultimately no longer do any of them. But her approach was very negative, a lot of shouting, a lot of punishing me for not practicing things, and I wonder if it would have been different if I wasn't always associating these hobbies with negative feelings. My parents are both translators and really wanted me to grow up bilingual, and looking back now I do wish I had. I became so resistant to the pressure put on me by my mum, and I had some understanding of the fact that I was doing all of this for her, not for myself. It was really off putting from a very young age. I ultimately gave up most of my childhood hobbies as a result of this constant negative, angry pressure, even if they were things I enjoyed doing. There was never praise, I felt I would never be good enough so why bother? If her approach had been different and I had not felt so worn out by it I probably would have continued these hobbies. The one thing she didn't want me to do that I asked to do, and that I loved and thrived at was ballet, and it's the only hobby I've continued into adulthood and feel I can really still enjoy without just a swooping sense of tiredness. I wish I had been able to carry on with these hobbies, and I don't think encouragement is bad at all, but it's something where I think the approach matters more than just putting a child into classes for something that they may or may not be interested in. And pressure coming from teachers is so different to pressure that comes from a parent, so letting them do that and just focusing on positive encouragement might be the way to go!

[@c.morland]

I encourage doing french as your mother can practice with her. Practice is the biggest part of language acquisition so its more likely to stick if she also can do it.

[@AGirlAndHerDreams]

I have experience from both sides of the fence... I was born in South Africa, and have a Mother who is fluent in Afrikaans (It is her first language) but she made the decision not to teach me and my sisters Afrikaans as we had moved to England at a young age. I really wish she had taught us Afrikaans, as it has made us feel quite cut off from our Mother's side of the family, with them all speaking English as a very broken second language, and at gatherings they all speak Afrikaans, making me and my sisters feel very left out. Plus, its pretty cool to be able to speak multiple languages! I have since picked up very minimal conversational Afrikaans as a young teenager, but wish it wasn't so difficult to learn a second language as a now adult. I have two children now, and have taught them both the basic Afrikaans that I know, as well as teaching them Makaton. In my eldest that has opened up a thirst for more knowledge and he is now learning multiple languages! So I don't think it would be harmful in any way to teach your little one a second language, and I think 'forcing' is the wrong terminology. We don't feel like we are forcing them to learn English, why is any other language different? If he reaches an age where he doesn't want to learn any more, I would respect that. I hope that helps :)

[@weronikabanaszewska158]

We are a Polish-British household and we live in Germany, which means that our son will be trilingual and it wasn’t really a choice that we had to make as it was always obvious to both of us that we would want him to be able to speak to both sides of the family, and then of course he needs to be able to communicate in the country where he lives. We consulted a Professor with a PhD in children’s language learning and she told us that a child can become a native language speaker in up to three languages as they need about 30% of their daily language exposure in each of the “native" languages. Anything more than this is also possible, but they will likely need a little extra work to get to a native level, and probably only once they are slightly older and have already mastered the three main languages. I am hoping all this to be true as this is how our family has to do it, and additionally, I would like to teach him Italian once he is 3/4 years old as that’s where my parents live and where I grew up, even though we are Polish :) The world is becoming more and more multicultural so I think that speaking more than one language will become the norm very soon, and those that don’t will have a huge disadvantage…plus when they are so little it’s all a game, it’s not long hours spent in class and boring homework! I would say go for it, he will thank you one day 😊

[@sjwells04]

I’d say getting your son to learn his donors language is a really good idea, especially if it’s Spanish/french/German/Portuguese as these can come in very handy for his future career. If you get lessons started before he’s seven he’ll be in with a great chance of being fluent. My best friend growing up learnt German at school and French from a tutor because those were the countries her parents were from, and now she’s effectively trilingual. She found the classes boring of course sometimes but she’s glad of it now and kids don’t have to love every single thing they do. Perhaps if you’re able to take him to the donors country a couple times during his childhood and he gets to practice the language and feel the benefit of knowing it then he will be more keen ❤ or perhaps through the classes he can find friends to speak the language to ❤

[@holliemoxham]

Here's my two cents about the language discussion... You won't know what your older child will value, therefore its really hard to make decisions for them and be 100% sure that later in life be sure it was the choice that was best for their welfare. I think ultimately if it were my child I would try and make sure they really understand the benefits (and how cool it is!) to do XYZ (in this case, learn French) but I wouldn't go as far as to put significant pressure on the topic. (Also in my experience as a young child / teen, more pressure would push me away!)

[@meganclapsadl6942]

I am from the us and went through the public school system. For the first half of elementary school I lived in a more city region where many kids walked to school and there where school busies (typical yellow school bus dedicated to transportation of students separate from public transportation). We moved when I was 9 to a suburban area where the school was not walking distance and I took the school bus which picked me up and dropped me off at a corner near my house. Now this was 20 years ago and I notice more and more kids being driven by parents. U have friends with multiple kids some too young for school and it is easier to load everyone into the car and drive one kid to school and drop them off than to juggle 3 or 4 kids walking sometimes across very busy streets. Others I know choose to drive their child even when a bus is available due to bullying on the bus. One large bus can fit about 70 kids and with just one adult (the driver) it's very difficult for the drive to control the children's behavior .

[@laurakinsella1692]

I only speak English grew up now I'm a cleaner in a high school, no joke it's the best job I've ever had. before I was worked in an old people's home. The stress of that job was killing me.

[@willowgirl2635]

I think adding a second language to a child’s life while they are tiny makes it seamless and less of a chore. They will be forever thankful having a second language, there are no negatives. Great that you are so mature and thoughtful about these things. Sometimes parents have to make decisions for the kids and this is a mature attitude. Well done

[@Keyaqp]

I had my baby girl 4 months ago, I'm Hungarian and hubby is English. We are definitely teaching her both as my parents don't speak English unfortunately (they don't live here) If you do decide to teach him another language, I would go for something he could use as an adult in the professional world I.e French, Spanish or even Chinese. When my baby is 3, 4 or 5 years old I will be also looking into a 3rd language for her she cab actually utilise later in life. For now I don't want to confuse her with that, 2 is enough. Eastern European languages like Hungarian for us is literally only good to speak with the family over there. I lived in the UK for 10 years now and my Hungarian was never any good use unfortunately and I can say the same for Romanian and Polish as well. Learning another language will never be bad for him but you do have to either put the work in and maybe learn it yourself as well, or put lots of money into it for the lessons he will need throughout the years in order to keep it on the agenda and not forget it. I have a friend who is also Hungarian and her husband is English, I used to babysit for them and teach their daughter Hungarian. She was only 15 months old when I left but she understood everything Hungarian and spoke some. After I left her mum never really put the work in (it can be hard even for us I think as I got to remember to say everything twice in both languages when hubs is around) so baby girl has quite simply forgot everything. Today she does not speak a single word unfortunately which she now regrets, she says it would be cool to have a 'secret' language with mummy. One more thing: you can absolutely learn another language in your 20s, I have learned English in my 20s and I was not living here yet. I spoke fluently when I moved here though 😊

[@rexxy5]

I live in the UK and in a town not far from London and I was dropped off everyday when I was younger. When I made friends or was old enough I would walk

[@putupwiththerain]

American here. If you live in a city, schools are typically close enough to walk or bike to, but it's often not safe enough for them to go alone so it doesn't happen as much as it should.

[@EstellaBlue313]

I live in the southern portion of the US and it's near impossible to walk to any school unless you live in a subdivision/neighborhood next to the school. I have several friends from the UK/Continental Europe and they find it insane how spread out everything is in the US when they first moved here. I either got to school by bus, was driven by my mom, or drove myself when I was old enough. All of my schools (elementary through highschool) were 15 minutes by car minimum from my home. We also had a highway that was between my home and all of my schools, so it was impossible to cross it by walking or biking because they didn't include sidewalks. I only rode the bus for a year because you had to wait at the bus stop by 6:00 am every morning or you might miss it. I would wake up at 5:30 am and with classes starting at 8:00 am it was almost 2.5 hours of extra time for just a 15-20 minute ride to school. However the drop off lines were crazy and sometimes took 30 minutes or more to get through. We had well over 1500 students and with more than half being dropped off, you can imagine how crazy that became in the morning. Especially when the drop off lines easily spilled onto the single lane roads around the school, so then you had plenty of angry people without children stuck in the same line. There were at least a few fender benders or near misses every week, which would clog up traffic even worse. This isn't typical in all US states but I live in a state that is growing exponentially fast so none of the city planners expected to need to update the infrastructure so soon. I also took classes in Spanish in school and I can say it was definitely worth it since I now work in the medical field in the US. I do wish I would have learned a third language at the same time when I had more brain plasticity. I can say a few phrases in German, French and Japanese but have struggled as an adult to speak conversationally in a third language.

[@mikki_s1100]

It is normal in America to have these lines and the process be an hour or more. Our schools are more spread out, because it’s a much larger area, and we aren’t set up for walking like y’all are. For reference, Texas is bigger then all of England. So often it’s either to far to walk, or there’s no sidewalks there, or you’d need to cross highways. There are busses, but you’re only eligible if you’re further than 2 miles from the school, regardless of if there’s sidewalk to walk to school or if you’d need to cross highways with no passenger crossings. So parents drop the kids off, and school are often hundreds or thousands of kids, so it takes awhile in the lines. I so wish we had it set up for easier walking like y’all , we could learn a thing or two!

[@kahri8488]

Ferritin is your iron stores. Folate has nothing to do with iron, it’s actually vitamin b9 and can be low if you’re not getting enough in your diet or because of certain medications and lifestyle factors. It can cause anaemia which can make you tired. Also as far as your glucose levels go I’d potentially be asking for a fasting insulin test which measures your insulin levels to determine your insulin sensitivity and potentially monitoring your glucose (you can even do this yourself with a glucose meter) after meals and seeing if they are sharply dropping after meals. A fasting glucose test won’t really tell you anything that’s going wrong with reactive hypoglycaemia.

[@FranceZinger]

Definitely put Oryn into classes in lessons in a second language, either French or the language of his donor. It's such an advantage having a second language and makes it easier learning other languages ñater in life. I grew up learning Spanish as my mother is Latin American and I have loved being able to build closer relationships with family members than I would otherwise have done without speaking the same language as them. It has also been very useful professionally as well.

[@canineeverything]

I am American, and my mom is Indian but lived in Morocco so is fluent in French. She spoke exclusively French with my brother and me when we were young, and I am SO GRATEFUL. I’m out of practice since I don’t often have occasion to use it, but it always comes back very quickly when I’m in a French speaking environment, and my accent sounds like that of a native speaker. I consider this an immense gift. Now as an adult I am trying to learn Spanish, which is much harder than it was as a child, but even still, knowing French makes Spanish much easier because so much vocabulary and grammar is shared between Romance languages. I definitely want my kids to grow up at least bilingual

[@canineeverything]

Although I will also add, I do sometimes wish that my mother had instead chosen to teach us the Indian language of her family, Tamil. Living in the US it is pretty much impossible for me to learn Tamil as an adult, whereas there are lots of resources and tutors for French.

[@claudiajade624]

Mm that's v frustrating for sure. My bubba has always been a Terrible sleeper, and has recently started waking up just once or twice at night (And one night she slept through!). She's 2 and I am so relieved to not be so tired all the time 🙏🏻 keen for a second baby and the sleep deprivation is the #1 thing I am dreading 🙃

[@jen-uj5bk]

honestly because the US is so big and there’s a lot of diversity in the kinds of neighborhoods that exist across the country basically every kind of transportation to school is common if that makes sense. I personally grew up in a major city so I walked/biked school as a kid because it was closeby, but also took the yellow school bus and public transit once I got to high school. i live in a different city now and it seems like kids also get to school the same ways i did. but, if you live in a rural area or a suburb it’s hard to get to school on foot because these areas are designed around car infrastructure, which is where the car line thing comes into play, though i can’t really speak on that. i think the excitement around bike busses online is not because kids don’t ride bikes to school (though its obviously less common here than in other countries) it’s more that it’s cute that communities are coming together in a big way. though i hope bike busses do bring more attention to walkability in US neighborhoods and we’re able to focus on building better bike infrastructure!

[@ct3950]

From my experience, if there is no caregiver who is fluent in the second language, there will not be sufficient exposure to pick up a language during these early language-sensitive years. I am fluent in English and Mandarin, conversational in German, and live in Germany with German husband and family. I choose to speak only in Mandarin with my son. Right now he is in kindergarten, very verbose and fluent in German, speaks acceptable Mandarin, but not without being pushed. Not a day goes by without me telling him,“Don’t understand you, you have to repeat in Mandarin.“ I am quite certain the longer his days at school become, the worse his Mandarin with be. But at least I am practically a native speaker of Mandarin, even though I am the only speaker of the language in his world. Everyone asks me why I am not introducing English right now, but that would have further reduced the exposure to Mandarin. The children learn English in school by the 3rd grade anyway. Unless you are going enroll the little one in a bilingual kindergarten, I think the best you could do is to show that you are also interested in learning foreign languages, and lead by example. Do know that being an English native speaker actually puts you at a disadvantage when it comes to learning a second language, because everyone speaks your language, so there is zero impetus for you and your child to use other languages. This is also why so many nationalities around Germany are conversational in German, while the Germans cannot understand any of the other languages other than English. I don’t know how popular your target language is in London, but if it were not that popular, finding toddler classes would be difficult. Most start from primary (first grade) ages, simply from the perspective of easier class management. Here where I live, Mandarin classes are only offered to children from 6 onwards.

[@wendys6438]

I could walk to my elementary and middle schools in about 5 to 20 minutes respectively. My high school was about a 35-40 minute walk, so I did try to get driven whenever possible. That said, my child would have been assigned schools that are 30+ minutes away by car, but we use an online school program instead for a multitude of reasons.

[@JMPschool1]

It depends what state you live in in the US. In some areas it's very normal to walk or bike to school, and in other areas, its just impractical or impossible to walk or bike, and you take the school bus or drive. For example, in NYC kids walk to school and little kids walk all together holding a rope. In southern Florida, kids walk or bike or take public transport depending on how far away from the school they live. In upstate New York, you take the bus (school bus). Where i grew up in a rural suburb north of NYC, it was very weird to drive to school before senior year. Everyone took the bus, and at least for me, when we say "take the bus" it means the school bus. There were no public buses where i grew up. Most small towns don't have enough people to warrant public transport and you'd have to drive to the train station to take you to the city. It's easier to think of each US state as its own country lol

[@alexandracurrey4257]

Language enthusiast here 🙋🏻‍♀️ I’m British but studied French and Spanish at university and now have lived in France for the past 12 years. My daughter just started school here in France having only spoken English at home with me, and has already picked up a few sentences and sings French songs, after only 3 weeks! They are total sponges at this age and pick things up so easily! I spent years and years learning French to fluent level but my daughter will be speaking it fluently by the end of the school year for sure. Personally i think having a second language on top of English can only be a plus in later life xx

[@annislander]

I wish I had had more pressure to learn a second language as well. Being Canadian, I had to do French until grade 9 in school (and I did such until grade 11). I was never keen on learning French though. I had the option of switching to another language when I was in middle school, and I wish I had switched to German. I'd have been more invested, and it would have been more valuable to me. I could actually understand more of my relatives on my dad's side. Although, it would have probably been most beneficial had I started with German even earlier than that. As for getting to school, I mostly took the school bus, but when that wasn't an option (when I was at my mum's house), I was nearly always driven. I could have probably walked for some of the school year, but I lived far enough North that driving was definitely preferable (give the deep snow and low temperatures).

[@Goddess1Princess]

Walking to school depends on where you live an if its safe enough to do so! I also live in the USA

[@oftheFence]

Getting driven and picked up from school (especially for younger kids) is very common here in the US. The carpool lines are depressing. Our cities and towns are much newer and built after the invention of cars so we don’t have as much or as good public transit options unless you are living in one of the older major cities in the Northeast.

[@marilynbrown8037]

I wish I was bilingual or trilingual. My grandparents on both sides were bilingual. Both speaking a language other than English as a second language. I wish I had been taught a second language as a child. Especially the language that my father speaks fluently. He learned English as a second language at a very young age. My mother on the other hand never leaned her parents native language because her parents were punished for speaking their native language in school as children. She can understand it a bit thought but speaks very little. All that to say, I only speak English and feel I got shorted out of being able to speak more than one language. As far as my kids. My oldest had an opportunity to go to a French immersion program for k-12. I decided to not send her because it was about a 20 minute drive from our home at the time. We have since moved and she wouldn’t have been able to stay there, so no regrets. I do see value in being able to speak a second language. As an American my kids ride the bus to school. With all the traffic I wouldn’t feel safe allowing my kids to walk to school, even though it may be just a mile away.

[@kryketkay0073]

The bus service only works outside of a 2mile radius. We live about 1.75 miles from the school so we drop/pick up our kids. It’s still over a 100° here so it’s too hot to walk. We don’t have fall here but it cools off in the “winter”.

[@Kimberley42]

I see only benefits in learning a second language, not just from a heritage standpoint, but the lifelong benefits it brings too.

[@CarlieMaria28]

It wasn't as a baby but i modeled for a protest during quarantine. Was all virtual at the time.

[@zoggyzoom]

i just found out my folic level was low as well and also under active thyroid, make sure they give you a prescription for folic acid as you cant buy a higher dose over the counter, i had to go back to my GP and ask for a prescription.

[@pattyw9418]

“Back in my day” lol as a 37 year old that grew up in Minnesota. 90% of kids would school bus and 10% drop off/walk/bike. That has completely changed since I was in school. I couldn’t imagine, my parents would NEVER. I bet it is 90% car drop off these days at the same schools.

[@aidenharmston402]

We live in a suburb of Chicago. The kids walk/bike to school. But it all depends on how densely populated your town is.

[@kimspaige]

There are a few cities around the US that are good for walking, but the majority are not bike or pedestrian friendly. Kids either ride a yellow school bus or parents drop off/pick up. In the towns around here the only kids who walk to school live next to it.

[@hayleycox5475]

I’m in rural Australia and we drive the kids to school every day but everything is very spread out here so it would take a long time to walk. Not impossible but not as simple as London

[@angelamazur7992]

it is very common to drive your children to school. My son always took a school bus because we don't own a car. We live in a walkable community and have access to city busses so we have no real need for a car. I was driven to school daily every year even when I lived a block and a half away from the school.

[@MJlover12347]

Where I grew up in the states, you either took the bus, if you lived close enough to school you walked, or definitely there's a huge number who drive their kids to school everyday. I grew up in an upper middle class suburb where yeah, driving kids to school is quite common! This is for two reasons: 1. Sidewalks definitely existed but people did not necessarily live close enough, especially because our school district served two towns! 2. Culturally, car culture is so strong that people really do drive everywhere and the sidewalks were not well kept enough/the infrastructure around making those sidewalks actually safe enough for kids to walk on them did not really exist. It's starting to improve now, but like sidewalks were very cracked and there were a lot of poorly sighted intersections that just made it less safe for kids to walk to school. Bonus, 3rd reason, suburban sprawl made the town strung out that yeah walking to school would've taken 30mins-45mins, which is not that much to an adult but to kids who have school that starts at 8:00am (or when I was going to school, 7:30 am), that's very early haha! Edit to say, also, I grew up in a place where for 1/4 of the year you were likely trudging through snow and other nasty elements to get to school if you walked, so definitely understandable why in those winter months especially more parents drove their kids to school if kids didn't end up taking the bus weren't served by the bus.

[@bethanypetersen7005]

The US is too spread out and some area very hilly to walk or bus. In my area we don't even have sidewalks as it's country driving. It's way too far to walk. It's a 5 mile drive on dangerous back roads to my son's school and there's no public transportation. Our kids all have the option to take school buses.

[@sheifaakra3018]

As a non-native English speaker, I never considered english as a foreign language because I started learning so young. I started learning French in school at around year 3 but at that point I wasn't "encouraged" by my adults to become more fluent in it and I have since lost most of what I had learned. Having a second or third language can only ever be a good thing because you're able to interact with a much larger percentage of the world. I would say start by playing kid's shows and videos in his donor's language as kids at this age retain much more than we expect.

[@canineeverything]

On the bike bus - the vast majority of Americans cannot walk or cycle to school. Most places don’t have any public transport and the US is extremely car centric. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area and have participated in bike buses but even here it is not the norm. I envy how easy it is to live without a car in Europe!

[@Nana-Jojo2014]

Hi Bryony! I live in Ottawa Canada 🇨🇦 in a nice kiddo friendly neighborhood with lots choices of schools all walking distance or school bus for not walking distance areas…Bike safe, scooters 🛴 for kiddos and bike lane for adults etc…My sons school actually prefers no cars at drop off and pickup for safety purposes and if you have to drive they ask you park a safe distance from kiddos school drop off locations…Especially in the winter 🥶 months with the tons and tons of snowstorms and snow amounts! It’s could be super duper dangerous 😢! My kiddos are both in French immersion and are both doing very well picking up the French! I was put in French immersion too however my mom switched me into English because I wasn’t grasping the French language unfortunately…I wish I would’ve had a tutor though because the government require French mostly 😢! Anyway I’ve made due without it🙂…However in Ottawa Canada especially ottawa you need French for jobs now days so for that reason I put my kiddos it French 🥰! Anyway way I hope when ever this message finds you…You and your amazing lil man are having an amazing morning, noon, evening, night lots of love 💕🥰!

[@brightdarkness007]

I was getting tired a lot too and realized I had an infected tooth. After I got the root canal, I went back to normal. I know spanish, but I can barely speak it with a native speaker. It’s hard trying to get better at it as an adult. Car lines, here in the US, are ridiculous. I fell in love with a house in front of a school and had to look elsewhere because of the traffic parents made for drop off, lunch, and pick up.

[@amethystamanda]

I grew up in the suburbs in America and I couldn’t have walked to any of the schools I went to, they were too far. I always took the school bus which I didn’t mind, I liked listening to music, but it did take longer with all the stops. I think some parents find it quicker and more convenient for their kids to just drive 10 minutes to the school and back.

[@JanealJohnson]

over time you can't walk or ride a bike to school if you live more than 1/2 a mile away. When I was young (GenX) for Kindergarten and 1st grade I had a bus, but after that Until I switched to private school in 4th I walked. My kids had a bus if they were anywhere further than 1/2 a mile away.

[@heatherw.4561]

I walked to school in 4th and 5th grade. Other than that I rode a school bus. I don't think I was ever driven. (American, aged 37.) Most places are really far away compared to the UK.

[@karinseaman4060]

We're in South Africa and we're bilingual.. Technically we're Afrikaans, but my mom is English so we are English as well (my mom is actually from the UK). My son turned 2 in August and he already has words in both languages 😂 This happened naturally though as I speak mostly Afrikaans (some English), his school is Afrikaans and English, and his TV shows are all English. I had one set of Afrikaans grandparents and one set of English grandparents.. So for us it also happened naturally, we never had to really 'learn' it.. Obviously you learn both.. But both were from birth. My son likes Dora the explorer now.. Hopefully he doesn't speak Spanish to me 😂 I've heard that when they're younger it's much easier for them to learn another language than when they're older.. But yes I agree.. As a parent you basically have to weigh the pros and cons and think about everything... And also as a solo mom, some decisions are difficult to make on your own! Sometimes I ask my mom as sister for their opinions, you probably do the same with your parents... So many decisions to make. South Africa is way too dangerous to walk anywhere.. You basically have to drive..

[@karinseaman4060]

Oh and here it's Spring now.. I dislike the Winter so much 😂 I'm glad it's over.

[@clarimelvlakancic72]

At my daughter’s elementary school here in NYC kids arrive by school bus, walking, public bus, subway, scooters, electric scooter, bikes, car, every which way possible 😂 Just depends on how far you live from the school.

[@essentialoilsnanny8230]

Now would be a great time to introduce a second language. As a bilingual and dual citizen (Italian/American) I am grateful to know two languages. Oryn could certainly practice with your mom and that would be fun and something special between them too. It will also help him to learn/understand other languages as he gets older should he have an interest in learning another languages later in life. 😊

[@brittanybower7004]

In the city it’s normal to walk or bike. Where I live the closes school is 20 min away. So my kids take the bus.

[@murmelstein6049]

In Germany kids usually walk to elememtary school so until year 4, so from six or seven until they are ten or eleven years old. (Obviously in the beginning the parents practice the way for a few weeks with their kids, for safety.) Secondary schools are a bit more spread apart, so most children have to use public transport from year 5 onwards. I think dropping them off by car is a bit more common now than when I was in school but still not the norm. I remember one time my parents drove me to school and picked me up in elementary school. I was ten then and it was during hurricane Kyrill, the day before schools in our area were closed for one or two days and already extremly windy. 😅

[@irismeeow]

make sure your ferritin levels are within the ideal range (around 100) because anything lower than that can cause symptoms like fatigue, even when you're technically within the normal range :)

[@runningoutofhay]

This! Couldn't figure out why I was so tired. My Ferritin was 4! Turns out I have Celiac disease.

[@Lionessfeather]

I feel that debating whether or not your child learns a second language is really privileged - not in a money sense, but in a linguistic sense! Where I'm from, _everyone_ has to learn a second language - English is mandatory in schools, but it's not our native language. So every child has to learn at least one other language, often at least two other ones. As long as you are patient about languages being hard sometimes, I don't really see downsides? (The point about privilege isn't meant as a callout! Only to point out that the English experience isn't universal)

[@Monopolygirl]

It’s highly unusual for kids to cycle to school in the area I live in the US. Mainly school district bus or car is how kids get to school

[@irismeeow]

ohh, i think it's a beautiful idea to learn his donor's language with him ❤

[@IHearAWaltz]

Look into the MTHFR gene mutation. Your body won’t be able to process synthetic folic acid as well if you have the gene mutation. (Which is also a simple blood test.) If you have the mutation you’d need an L-methylfolate supplement instead of the folic acid.

[@EllyMae48]

I grew up in a family where my mothers family only spoke Polish so I grew up being able to converse and I can definitely understand but sometimes I get muddled in speaking but since my grandparents passed away I’ve lost a lot of knowledge which is sad.

[@skincarejunkie3787]

I think it’s a good idea to have him learn a second language. I don’t think you are forcing him. I think he will thank you in the future. I know my mother tongue and English is my second language. Everyday at work I’m grateful I am bilingual because I get to communicate with both patient population without calling the interpreter over Nowwww if the patient was Spanish speaking, then I’m screwed 😂😂😂 so yes have your baby learn a second language! Plus, French is BEAUTIFUL it’s such a beautiful language. Istg I’d be flexing if I could speak French fluently. Plus, if you are bilingual, you can get away with speaking to another person in your “secret” language if you don’t want others around you to understand what you’re saying.

[@jades3654]

Very normal in America. It has alot to do with the sprawl that most of the country is built on, stranger danger, and the fact asshole drives will intentionally hit cyclist. Over all america is really sprawled out and not built to be bicycle friendly. Many children do take the bus but there are increasing safety issues with in terms of bullying. Wish it was different though.

[@VaninaVlogs]

I only speak English but have always wished I had grown up learning my dad's language (Welsh). By the end of my grandparents' life, they could only remember Welsh so communicating with them was difficult. Mostly I just wish I knew Welsh so that I could read all the old documents I have from my family history, that is all in Welsh. I know the odd word but I'm not remotely fluent. I've tried to learn in my older years but I just can't seem to absorb and remember the language. My sister, who absorbs languages relatively easily, has found learning various languages hugely beneficial when going for jobs (she's an English literature teacher, but works internationally and changes countries every 4-5 years).

[@kalavicena8711]

I live in Oklahoma usa and if my kids don't take the school bus I have to take them bc we live 7 miles 11km from their elementary. If you live within a mile of the school the bus won't pick up

[@zed3063]

Doctors don’t need to discuss low folate with a haematologist.. are you sure there was not something else that they were concerned about?

[@oh_my_kesh]

I'm on the side of teaching Oryn the other language now/or early to have connection to his donor in that way but also because speaking another language is just overall a nice thing to have :)

[@blushingprincedesu]

I agree. If she wants to teach French as well, asking her mum to speak to him in French would allow him to learn both pretty easily. However, it's definitely possible to learn another language well, even from an "older" age. I am a translator now and started my language learning when I was 14. So, going in early gives an advantage, but hard work can take you a long way.

[@TerenaTCloud]

I feel like watching your content makes me look more like a dissident than shaving my head. A Brit single female and single mother by choice? How did you end up in my recommended? That, I don't know, but I'm glad you did. Still a diva cup user to this day, but I pretty sure my menstrual blood is polluting the water supply if there's a sewage water treatment plant near me. I don't know!

[@LilySaintSin]

I think most places in the States aren't walkable like tht uk is. It'd be very difficult to not have a car in tht majority of America. I don't uf tht public transport is super reliable there.

[@laurakinsella8233]

What words can he say?

[@lauraelisee]

Is this your last video? 😢

[@mariabrandenburg8908]

Just seen your post on FB about what you just finished filming.....does that mean you're shutting down the channel or just backing off from filming to focus on little man and your job? What does it mean for those of us who are subscribers?

[@LilySaintSin]

There's a lot of online classes now. Even older adults have neuroplasticity ans the ability to learn nee things

[@greeneturtle77]

You should learn BSL together

[@hanafri8]

I would love to see your son's face. The vlogs nowadays where the mothers don't share the kids faces,take a lot away from the vlogs. A lot of us started to watch because of the ivf,and donor conceived babies,and their life afterwards. I do watch some other vlogs where the parents do share their kids faces,and they are all OK. The vlogs without the children's faces are becoming boring,and will definately lose some subscribers, Just saying.