Blurunch || Crapshots Ep783

[@TehAmelie]

New headcanon: The captions are part of the Spokesman's speech, his nonsense cannot be contained in mere one-dimensional linear language.

[@tikatoo]

This explains so much.

[@SupremeFenix274]

Well he does seem to be an eldritch horror sent to drive us all, but especially Dave, mad.

[@MrHawkeye41]

@@SupremeFenix274 I think it's possible Dave doesn't actually exist and manifests from the chaos that is Dave's Spokesman.

[@SupremeFenix274]

@@MrHawkeye41 I believe Dave did show up once, but I suppose that doesn't necessarily invalidate your theory.

[@aste4949]

Yesssss

[@jwish827]

The cut from 0:17 to 0:18 with the caption maintaining the angle with Dave is such a good touch.

[@calebmarmon1310]

There’s something cosmically terrifying about that.

[@tallynnyntyg6008]

This is Dave's Spokesman. Dave looks tangentially similar to Beej.

[@DrSnap23]

Oh my god he actually makes the text appear in real life, he has too much power

[@BlankPicketSign]

My bro I am very upset to inform you that IS NOT DAVE!!! Dave has no say in what this creature says! IT'S NOT DAVE!!!! DAVE DOES NOT CONSENT!!!!

[@DrinkToForgetThermo]

Dave's Spokesman generates diagetic captions

[@BlankPicketSign]

"My name is mine and you can't have it" is one of my favorite lines from this SCP Creature.

[@ShawnMcNaughton]

I have never thought of Dave's Spokesman as an SCP. I don't think I can stop now.

[@sofer2230]

Him being a Fey makes so much sense.

[@chrisnotaperson8127]

Not hing can make you, Stop. Thinking about..... dAVE? It's his. Name and you ‽ can't have it ​@ShawnMcNaughton

[@snvhill]

@@sofer2230 Well, the victim of a Fey bargain at least. Quick, someone remove the hairpiece! Maybe it's like those cursed shoes.

[@logank9177]

Time stamp?

[@Doodlesthegreat]

"Are you hungry for pain?" Well... I'm _HERE,_ aren't I?

[@LexYeen]

[extremely Joker voice] Pain? Oh, I _love_ French bread!

[@ZeroArcana]

Dave's Spokesman never fails to make my brain pleasantly uncomfortable in ways i can't explain

[@ShawnMcNaughton]

He's the uncanny valley of salesmen. Like, you may not love a used car salesman, but you expect them to work within the bounds of reality and function similar to regular people.

[@calebmarmon1310]

Sometimes the world is confusing and terrifying. Dave’s spokesman assures me that that feeling is normal.

[@ericheidgerd1064]

man, graham has really nailed being unsettling without being upsetting somehow

[@coyoteone6197]

The Uncanada Valley.

[@3dpprofessor]

@@coyoteone6197 When he stops saying "sorry", the horror starts.

[@DisregardedHappiness]

I disagree. I'm very upset.

[@VAB0L0]

"Sunny sign up on down" is a tremendous line

[@tarultoyarto]

I swiped the Dave Spokesman voice for a D&D character and it was an instant hit. It's a fun accent that isn't a racial stereotype.

[@Harukurochan]

There were so many great jokes, both spoken and written, that I had to watch it twice to fully absorb the Spokesman experiences. I especially love the connection between “goblin mode” and “Gobblin on these food products”.

[@pyredynasty]

Dave's spokesman turned into an eldritch horror so gradually we didn't even notice.

[@Omegatronacles]

The spokesman is a merchant in my DnD game. The party used the threat of him to scare a Fey into dealing straight with them.

[@Powercrazed122]

I love it

[@jgirl13245]

Yep, had to watch it at least twice just for all those tasty subtitles.

[@azninja888]

(Dave’s Drag Lunch an Brag Lunch is not responsible for injuries incurred from trying to eat subtitles)

[@knexwiz289]

360 spin into "Are you hungry for pain?" was all i needed to burst out lauging. Could have ended it there, the rest was just gravy

[@SEANALPURVIS]

I see what you did there! Are they adding the gravy to the pancakes?

[@LexYeen]

​@@SEANALPURVISNo, just the sausages served with the pancakes.

[@SEANALPURVIS]

​@@LexYeen dangit I was really looking forward to some maple gravy for my pancakes

[@cleverfoxdwellingbyapeartr2679]

That’s my lunch sorted for today.

[@DisregardedHappiness]

'Food moving away from you' is the most pleasant euphemism I've ever heard for taking a shit.

[@PlebNC]

I like the implication that baking powder for psychological pain is within the Spokesman's eldritch power.

[@heartofgoldfish]

i feel like dave is an environmental storytelling clip from a horror game that closed the distance into the real world

[@somebodynowhere]

"sand, which is" is really good

[@pvtpain66k]

I love Dave, so very much. 🥰

[@dracoelynne]

the nice thing about blurunch with Ted is that you don't have to worry about talking with your mouth full; you just eat, he'll do aaaaallllll the talking

[@LexYeen]

Dave's back! And his front and sides.

[@empath69]

*Dave not appearing in this advert

[@LexYeen]

​@@empath69Dave wanted people to know he(?) exists in at least two dimensions, if not more.

[@faythsdream]

Dave's spokesman's back and front AND sides?

[@EngineeringVignettes]

I arrived here, hungry for pain. Now I'm _full_ .

[@Powercrazed122]

I love the cheeky smile that Graham has at the end of the spin.

[@lightfut]

Part of this feels like "breakfast commercial fed through a translator back to English 5 times" 😂

[@ravensbreedsmyth1367]

If Dave's Spokesman was the physical projection into our reality of a vast, unknowable Eldritch horror that has decided to give up the whole cosmic horror thing in favor of being a con man.... it still wouldn't quite explain everything.

[@coyoteone6197]

"Soup of the Semi-Day" is my Jimmy Eat World cover band.

[@forisrex]

these never cease to amuse. glad youve got a new one

[@DragongodZenos]

i am convinced this entire crapshot was made to justify putting "sand, which is" up on screen for the world to see

[@BigDaddyBland87]

*sees back of Dave Spokesman on thumbnail* Well obviously I need to see what he's pitching us this time.

[@brotherhumble]

"Sand, which is" had me rolling

[@ther3aper561]

Dave Spokesman is my favorite character because the weird speech cadence is so superb. Graham really cooking with this character. I think my favorite crapshoot is What's Going On Inside

[@potatosordfighter666]

The amount of pure comedy genius that comes out of these weirdos is truly astounding, and even more astounding is the fact that this channel does not get the attention it deserves for that. The whole "Daves Spokeman" lineup of videos are exercises in wordplay that almost take a college level dissertation to disassemble

[@empath69]

it's practically 'a deconstruction of wordplay'

[@3dpprofessor]

This feels like the Spokesman turned a strange corner into uncannyland.

[@eceldran]

Ahhh...! The sheer, unhinged-ness of Dave Spokesman! Exactly what. We needed? XD

[@Ovcharka88]

I'm legitimately eating waffles and hashbrowns right now. love me a good spokesperson :D

[@huntery3568]

Ive missed you, Dave Spokesman. My world was growing entirely too coherent.

[@Caedynna]

Dave returns, huzzah!

[@HouseOfHubris]

Having come here from just rewatching Pontypool, this hits different xD

[@Unclevertitle]

I choose to believe the spokesman does not have a multi-camera setup and instead is snapping/teleporting instantly into different positions/orientations while recording this video. Maybe I shouldn't choose to believe this... but I do.

[@GaryBleck]

Yep. Apparently these can get more existential. Nice

[@taknarian]

The world is healing.

[@liorramati265]

If my brain hurts that means it's working, right? I loved the gag where they cut to another camera, and the on screen text stays aligned to the original shot

[@ReynardWrecce]

Welcome back, you increasingly-unhinged wonderful possibly-human.

[@trident042]

I'm glad I had today off. I'm gonna have to digest this for a while.

[@elfinfluff]

The Spokesm'n is allowed to continue to be on TV, for we fear what he will do if he is not.

[@CodeIndigo]

I want a double dose of whatever Spokeman is on.

[@NZLion]

Spokeman's presentation got a real glow-up

[@littlemisspipebomb4723]

It took me so long to realise the drag was the food being pulled away from you. The breakfast isn't being served by someone serving

[@loadingreadyrun]

👀

[@Chocomint_Queen]

>Psychological pain >TEL(L )US Yeah, I hate our ISPs too

[@cameoflage]

Those jerks sent me a defective router.

[@BonnieBugsy]

I feel as though I am being cursed.

[@oxyfromsg]

Dave's Spokesman would fit right into the adverts in Alan Wake 3

[@jackielinde7568]

Was I the only person that thought Drag Brunch didn't involve dragging or drag racing? I mean, I'm down for Brunch either way.

[@PepperJAQ]

I felt a visceral fear for a moment there... X3

[@sandmanlives3]

Excellent, as always. Thank you! New spokesman, who ‘dis?

[@Ariamaki]

This might be *the* most unsettling that Spokesman has ever been.

[@BrentAmati]

Is Dave getting... *more* esoteric? Like on the one hand "how could you even tell" but also I think the spokesman-verse is slowly falling into the void.

[@trident042]

It's cool, though. The void has style, the void can dance. The void wears tearaway pants.

[@leeshajoi]

@@trident042 I literally just came from watching that video for like the seventeenth time.

[@BenMarcWilliams]

Remember, this is not Dave. This is Dave's (as of yet unnamed) Spokesman. It's a _very important_ distinction.

[@Drasvin]

His name is his and you cannot have it.

[@KumaKaori]

@@trident042 getoutofmyhead, no I will not open my mind and clap three times.

[@LibertyMonk]

I thought it said Matrilineally not Metaliterally. I was double confused.

[@failfurby]

Every time I see spokesman Graham I wonder how many takes each cut took to do clean without a character break and/or fumbling a line, lol

[@PantherAssaultCannon]

Wait, my lunch

[@soratorb]

I am always hungry for waffles. And sometimes hungry for pain.

[@BenjaminKlahn]

This *has* to be what a stroke feels like...

[@empath69]

if Dave's Spokesman starts making sense, call 911 immediately

[@exachixkitsune5655]

Well. Now I am hungry for a drag brunch and/or brag lunch.

[@joshsatterwhite1571]

Say, I know an awesome place where we can get both at the same time.

[@SEANALPURVIS]

I now understand my current mental state, after hearing Dave call it out as goblin mode. Beware. Also, now that it's been mentioned, I am quite hungry for lunch.

[@empath69]

*Dave's Spokesman (Dave not appearing in this video - presumably he hasn't yet tracked down his pest that he is an unwilling client of {see previous crapshots and sketches on this topic})

[@erfunk]

Are we sure there's only one Dave, and DSP isn't just an... advocate... to all business owners of that name?

[@Regisauris]

The first time I watched it my audio glitched so it was completely silent and I watched the whole thing waiting for the payoff to the silent spokesman bit.

[@LexYeen]

I've had the opposite happen and *also* assumed it was just a meta-bit.

[@DarkMorford]

Am Spokesman okay?

[@gaz-l621]

Yes butalso no?

[@snes90]

No body knows hopscotch? Rules!

[@BenMarcWilliams]

As much as he ever is.

[@EternalDensity]

Him not perfect system.

[@DisregardedHappiness]

No, Dave, teeth is NOT optional

[@KristinVTaylor]

Thank you.

[@helenm1085]

I slowed it down to half speed... Which helped with comprehension but severely worsened the uncanny and unsettling aura that Spokesperson has already firmly mastered

[@staley101]

Trying to read & hear hurt my brain. Screw you Dave.

[@empath69]

Look, Dave hasn't paid this guy in YEARS; he can't get the spokesman to STOP (quo vadis)

[@staley101]

@@empath69 but I thought they went to direct deposit?

[@MiffoKarin]

Spokesman makes my brain hurt but in a good way?

[@shadowsoflife]

Amazing.

[@ejay52]

Do they also have Hoisin Crispy Owl?

[@helenm1085]

Bonbonbonbons?

[@theacidburn117]

Dave is my favorite character

[@green_creeper288]

Spokesman must be from the uncanny valley Torg mentioned in the Eye crapshot

[@AdaHan]

Feels weird to eat naengmyung early in the day. It’s more of a dinsupner meal.

[@PowerArmorV113]

A beginning of form or both!

[@PhoenixMelior]

Can the drag lunch also be served to me by a queen, because that's where my mind went.

[@LexYeen]

Everyone is royalty at drag lunch! Which means no one is. Their hierarchy may be flat, but their waffles aren't!

[@empath69]

@@LexYeen CHEF KISS

[@LexYeen]

​@@empath69Only if the chef consents! May the odds ever be in your favor.

[@RoboKronik]

These will never not be funny.

[@SunDancerGE]

my brain hurts

[@Frostwriter111]

Someone had fun with the captions

[@saucefan1614]

For waffle batter AND NOTHING ELSE

[@awilddevereaux]

i feel, good

[@shannonsangster7536]

dave got new hair!

[@mizukouken]

The best part is you can see Graham reading the cue cards as he goes, but somehow that adds to the uncomfortable nature of how he speaks.

[@RobertWScott523]

DAVE FTW 🥰

[@jedfromyourlocallibrary]

Worried about Dave’s Frictionless Luninner…

[@nicholasfalasco8539]

good

[@Warriorsfan-kl4ly]

I notice this time he looks... disheveled. This is concerning.

[@EricOrang]

I don't know if it's the lighting or a different wig but Dave's hair looks lighter than usual.

[@Moldy_Luck]

Hey Look it's Dave's restraining order, hes back!, Some one tell Dave, or don't you do you Tuber?

[@Jiggyx42]

Did he say drag brunch?

[@torreykat]

Noon naengmyon??

[@chan742]

Are they cousins like Sailore Neptune and Sailor Uranus?

[@chifii]

Love the subtitle work. Is Ted a drag queen, 'cause I really thought that's where you were going with it at first.

[@joanmoriarity8738]

that guy makes me so uncomfortable

[@ltablet1429]

Does Dave have a new wig? (Goes back to some previous crapshots). He does!

[@empath69]

(that's not Dave, but his Spokeman {even though Dave doesn't WANT this 'advertising' - he can't get the guy to STOP} )

[@thewonderdoc2999]

The spokesman feels more out of it than usual. Is Dave feeding him properly?

[@RybackToTheFuture]

It's not an ad read, he just really wants someone to feed him and this is all he knows how to do.

[@FanOfMostEverything]

Or has he only now begun to feed the spokesman properly?

[@amvhellboy]

It's like an AI Brian Butterfield. I love it!

[@LexYeen]

Except it's all one-hundred percent pure, old-fashioned, homegrown, ethically-sourced, and eco-friendly human creativity!

[@empath69]

@@LexYeen wait! THIS is why chatGPT and other LLM projects are turning out such cack for responses - they got fed the absurdism of these sketches! HEADLINE: "internet comedy source of AI woes" SUB-HEADLINE "TomSka now fugitive to evade summons by litigious techbrows" COLUMN HEADER: "LoadingReadyRun surrenders themselves to authorities; released without being charged"

[@erfunk]

OP ED: LRR did nothing wrong

[@Bripfitz]

so... eating at a Denny's?

[@LexYeen]

At 4 AM, maybe.