Bob Mortimer's Train Guy

[@timticklerful]

In 1991, Vic and Bob were filming a TV show in the road next to my Grandma’s house. I approached both of them to get a autograph, coming back with two autographs and a cone of chips that Bob got me from the food van on the set. A lovely bloke.

[@mrtoad1408]

Don't care if its true or not, this story has made my year.

[@timticklerful]

@@mrtoad1408 all true!

[@thesunreport]

It's these little insights into the world of celebrity that we mere mortals never really get to see. 'Going behind the curtain' so to speak. A CONE of chips??, not simply a tray with a wooden fork, but a CONE of chips. Don't tell me it was printed to look like newspaper as I'll lose my mind!!

[@mixtapesfrommylatepartner]

A cone is easier to hold as one is walking along. Therefore less likely to be dropped.

[@thesunreport]

@@mixtapesfrommylatepartner Was that comment for me??, I was just being silly for the sake of it. 🙂

[@Nishaa941]

He’s hilarious, but that transition train footage is amazing and completes it hahaha

[@andybYVR]

ive got the transition whisle music in my faking head now

[@RasPutintheGreat]

'and' not but.

[@nelliesnose5648]

Ras Putin it’s ‘but’. they mean that whilst bob is hilarious, the train transition is what makes it

[@Johnny-sj9sj]

I don’t know…

[@DoubleDeckerDave]

That's from the BR advert from the 80s!

[@p4cks]

easily one of the funniest comedians in the last 50 years. everything he does is 100% original

[@timeless4369]

“The lift service is so swift you’re tits kiss your ball bag on the way up” - Bob Mortimer

[@jackglossop4859]

I mean, he took this character from a podcast series he did, and he took characters on that from shows he did in the early 90's, but I take your point.

[@demetrikatsidis6776]

I can only surmise that the dislikes for this video are from people who have just realised they are a 'Train Guy' and aren't as cool as they think they are.

[@Jamesp1972]

Train guys everywhere need taking down, sadly

[@thewomble1509]

"Train guys "are about as cool as a Scotch bonnet pepper in a Puffa-Puffa jacket!

[@andydalessio939]

🤣🤣🤣

[@gaztop222]

Not his bottom ones tho..they don't seem to match.. ;)

[@daevpaeldruid8200]

No, they're all from someone called Jim Moir, whoever that is.

[@joeoutdoors2299]

My friend told me this great Bob Mortimer story - He and his workmate were on a pelican crossing when they spotted Bob, his mate says "Alright Bob?" Bob stops in his tracks drops his bag on the street and Bellows "Hello me old mate, I haven't seen you in ageeeees"

[@liamjones9115]

HAHAHAH

[@v00n2000]

Aceness

[@kbr7075]

😂😂😂

[@Chooseyourownadventure42]

As ever hilarious, even when he’s pointing out that it’s a bit weird to address someone so informally when you don’t actually know them. 😂😂😂😂

[@Kerbal_fever]

"I basically kicked it up the moons arse" is phrase i cant wait to use.

[@ChrisH78]

I used it this morning and it took me 3hrs to fight off the ladies who flocked to me like lovely adult herons

[@gbwildlifeuk8269]

Please dont! Going forward, helicopter view, cascading information and keeping you in the loop are nerd enough!

[@BertF1966]

Me too 🤣🤣

[@emmacook112]

@@gbwildlifeuk8269 😂😂😂😂

[@TheBearsta]

"It felt like eh.. driving an Aston Martin straight at a fox... quite a rush-a-doodle-do"

[@dwaynepipe6387]

Love this, I showed this video to my wife and she just looked at me like I was a nationwide advert

[@RinpochesRose]

🙂😂🤣

[@craigchristian344]

Get me some poachies on ya little fart, n they'd better be verrrrrry fuckin runny

[@tjgrossman]

I love Bob Mortimer, he and Paul Whitehouse on fishing is priceless! “Don’t wind Bob, stop winding!)😂😂😂

[@AlisonBryen]

And awaaaaaay.....

[@jonnysz03]

"He's pitching me a rabbit hutch with CCTV" - Broke me.

[@emmabridges2549]

That one finished me off 😂😂😂

[@Tobycek]

I refuse to google it because I’m sure someone’s invented one

[@triciawalker7195]

Me too. Only just found this due to comments on 5 Live radio earlier today. Pitching me a rabbit hutch.......... sensational. What a gifted guy. Love him.

[@ajorngjdonaydbr]

You can actually buy Chicken Coops now with CCTV and automatic doors that open every morning

[@josephpickard3108]

This is a man that's clearly been on a thousand East Coast Main Lines to Kings Cross at rush hour. The only thing missing is a gilet 😂

[@AlastairjCarruthers]

North Face or Barbour?

[@asarsealex]

@@AlastairjCarruthers Rab

[@josephpickard3108]

@@asarsealex Came here to say this!

[@HGPTW]

Nope, Tunbridge Wells to London, every time!

[@camt9967]

Bob never fails! Funniest guy on the planet. A peaceful ferret!!!!

[@stevemundy4511]

a disgruntled pug... :-)

[@stud105]

Living legend.

[@DeanFlooring]

Vigorous Pigeon.

[@Johnny-sj9sj]

I don’t know...

[@nathchambreros3326]

I agree, absolute class act.

[@erinperise]

Its so spot on 😂 i have witnessed so many men like this on the train 🤣

[@nevillebloodybartos]

You are, as always, an adult Herron

[@AlastairjCarruthers]

It's amazing how many of these people exist

[@zensiantaristic8048]

This video needs to go up up up, up into the business skyyyyyy.

[@richcurtis813]

Fucking gangbangers! Ya gotta love em!

[@chalesbergca3754]

This is the best parody I’ve ever seen. So accurate

[@lukebrooks7868]

"Their pillows shine bright, more give in them than Oxfam"

[@yenoomm2676]

“We’ve got to mind fart the living shit out of this until the perfect bubble rises” 😂

[@ancientfuture9690]

😂😂

[@wildthinair]

This is gold. I shout out much of this across Waterloo concourse most mornings walking behind a toss pot on their phone. Legend Bob have a cappuchoochoo on me!

[@harrodsongs]

All targets hit.

[@davidpritchard9069]

Amen.

[@michaelferguson3541]

The compilation nobody asked for but everyone needed, thank you ♥️

[@scottolsen3852]

Bob Mortimer is a genius. Love it almost as much as Jeff Linton.

[@robertflanagan1364]

A real heavy lifter

[@jackwets]

“The Jeff Linton?”

[@Johnny-sj9sj]

Andrew Jackson - I really don’t know, but check out the Jacobean double glazing

[@MrMisanthrope84]

This is painfully accurate of commuter life in the south. Sweet Jesus it's on point.

[@alexanderboulton2123]

"Networking for real estate giants" what an upstanding and respectable man!! 😁

[@nigelmitchell351]

For me it's, "back comb the living shit outta this hairball" still laughing a fortnight later.

[@joshlane174]

This is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I can not stop watching it🤣🤣🤣

[@emmajh45]

Have you listened to Athletico Mince, his podcast. So much of this and more, very funny!

[@Johnny-sj9sj]

Emma Hargrove - thanks Emma! I’m on the case right now yeah. Why? I don’t know, but check out the tartan tiles and formica, yeah?

[@93RubixCube]

Bobs teeth look great I wonder who is dentist is

[@TubbyBrewster11]

93RubixCube whoever it is, it looks like they use Fuji

[@JuDgEzill4]

@@TubbyBrewster11 haha, WILTY

[@cheesybellend6842]

JuDgEzill4 hahaha love it lads

[@superspecky4eyes]

According the TV program "Would I Lie To You" he does his own dentistry.

[@simonpeterdebbarma]

The good ol Fuji Nine

[@bobbillnolan7644]

This character would play squash, on a Thursday and get very annoyed if he lost, then have a couple of g&t’s afterwards

[@JoshuaDillonn]

Bob Bill Nolan lol FACTS.

[@pushthetempo2]

Read GQ magazine and have a flash watch

[@emmacook112]

Bella insatio

[@neilmeldrum5853]

Have you been spying on me

[@hughoxford8735]

I must take up home dentistry.

[@andicossi7609]

Fugi lX.

[@fanfeck2844]

They’re holding up well

[@adamg-w3114]

My thoughts exactly 🤣

[@sidarthur8706]

have you ever seen such a beautiful set as those?

[@wellticklemytummy]

Get a good kitchen counter top with decent lighting first

[@robertstraw9881]

The train footage and music is great 🤣🤣🤣

[@Ssssshhhhh1885]

I cant stop watching this... even my wife has started doing the voice. Absolute legend.

[@TheGebrano]

Just watched this on the big screen,8 of us all crying laughing all the way through. Absolute gold. We’ve all come across ‘TITHEADS who are exactly as Bob replicates. The man is a genius😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@frankmurphy4082]

so glad i found the appreciation of train guy, every time he does a new one of these it literally makes my day. bella- compostino!

[@jakezywek6852]

As a Leicestershire lad this is spot on-when I was taking a train through London last year, there was a woman and her work colleague on the train, discussing exclusive nursery places and the fact her husband has started working at home three days a week.

[@josephpickard3108]

There's a guy who gets on at Grantham - I'm convinced he is the inspiration for this character

[@v00n2000]

vom

[@manicminer3830]

Bob is a legend! Knows how to be funny and how to deliver it!!! Awesome man!

[@lcpoole54]

What a laugh. Bob Mortimer is so hilarious. Cheered up a bad day.

[@benskinner8580]

He never fails to make me laugh been into him since my teens 😂 such simple and original material too 👍

[@v00n2000]

Comic mastery.

[@gaskellr44]

Do you like his comedy though?

[@richcurtis813]

This is Barry C Homeowner, taking you up, up, up, into the business sky!!

[@dunnyzed6953]

I’m surprised he’s not in the TT

[@leannegriffinireland]

Why is no one else talking about Barry C. Homeowner???

@@leannegriffinireland because its not actually him lol

[@petetrimby]

Ding dong , landlord here...

[@Johnny-sj9sj]

Leanne G - I don’t know…

[@kolabboy]

Best mini-series of 2020!

[@brothlcreeprs]

I thought I was the only person who gets excited about Train Guy! Glad to see others love him too pahah

[@MikeJackson690]

Love how the character develops as Bob, sorry Train Guy, gets more confident. Looking forward to when Train Guy goes through hard times...

[@ianclayton3967]

brilliant work on the train footage. Bob, you are and always will be a comedy genius...

[@screambluemurder101]

Basically if you’ve never noticed a plum like this on a train, then YOU are the plum

[@malcomflibbleghast8140]

on northern rail i cannaget moved for the thousandsof whippets lickin me face.....

[@THEDONTTELLSHOW]

@@malcomflibbleghast8140 get home and bully your brother you

[@peternelson7048]

Or you live in Scotland where everyone just drinks lager and sings.

[@kieronknapp9191]

Bob has made me laugh since I was a kid. Him and Jim.

[@leejeffrey3172]

Dont know how you do these without cracking up. So good! 8 minutes of giggles👍

[@alexwatson95]

This series had so many underrated little gems. “Superbia” and “network not fretwork” are just throw-away comments but they’re so perfect.

[@alisonhopper6724]

So funny , I love Bob Mortimer. Never fails to make me laugh.

[@robertflanagan1364]

Like driving an aston martin straight at a fox. Quite a rush- a-doodle do

[@a.jembaz7222]

I dont know how many times I've watched this hahaha you are as always a peaceful ferret 😂 the shit he comes out with is too funny

[@WorcestershireFolklore]

This gave me such a rush-a-doodle-do! You’re a lion Bobaroo, wishing you welcome! I hope to physical meet you one day!

[@MikeJackson690]

Many thanks to KZbin for pinging me in the loop on this, just in time for my bend back on the Crawley branch. Yuh yuh.

[@Jaunt1able]

‘Just off to London, achievement siddy...’’

[@monkeyzoo6829]

haha these are amazing - literally dying with laughter - I hear people like this all the time!!!

[@JLPC13]

Bob can make me laugh with a smile, the mans a fucking genius

[@Katy-sh3ru]

I can't stop watching this, I love it so much 😂😂

[@johnbradbury7656]

Love it! I’ve sat next to that type of knobber on the train many a time!😂 Gotta Love Bob!

[@gibgun]

Thanks for making this! Love the footage you’ve added it’s perfect. Can’t wait for future compilations

[@oldschoolm8]

I think we can all say we’ve heard these type of tossers on public transport before.....

[@minimal_enthusiasm5971]

Can't get away from the bastards here in London

[@Johnny-sj9sj]

One of my favourite gadgets of all time was a phone jammer, but now nothing I can find works on bloody 4G.

[@roystonevans2223]

The wife & myself just spent abit of time in London & this is exactly the type of shite we heard on the way down... Good god, our ribs we're hurting all the way 🤣👌

[@Dangimal]

this is, without a doubt, the funniest man in the world x

[@abeardneglected]

Holy crap, this guy sits behind me on every flight.

[@tjfSIM]

He's the kind of guy who sits behind everyone on every flight. That's how cool he is.

[@stud105]

7:37 " You are, as always, a disgruntled Pug"

[@the-adge]

This takes me back to the quarantine of 2020.... Wishing I was back in my isolation inspiration station.

[@alanirving1972]

Jeff Linton just called... the Felafel start-up is a go !!!

[@MontyCantsin5]

Got any contact deets for Jeff Linton? I'm super interested in the duplex apartment deal to levitate some capital into the stratosphere in light of the COVID-19 scare. Only problem is my LinkedIn Pro account is down due to cross- interactional feedback that started at the Coventry branch. Thanks Alan...and bella.

[@nevillebloodybartos]

Network, not fretwork ... those pillows have more give than Oxfam

[@thenumber1kidd811]

These kill me 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I'm dead, sitting opposite a guy at the airport who is doing this right now!! Had to watch classic Bon doing it ❤❤❤❤❤

[@thomasmcewan9465]

I simply love this man

[@kaarinamiles292]

River Island....Moss Bros. LOL

[@GS-go9qq]

Probably on his way to meet the guys at the Audi Garage.

[@Porkcylinder]

G S < Peugeot driver envy

[@Johnny-sj9sj]

I don’t know…

[@therub2191]

Nice one for uploading these, you are as ever, a rampant woodlouse ☕️

[@LordTechnopants]

I'm a straight guy, been in a relationship for 27 years.... But, I love Bob. It's a fact.

[@DaveHolcroft]

Gold. I can't get enough of this. You are as always a vigorous pigeon.

[@JoshuaDillonn]

“Oh for shire...fa SHIURE”

[@AJ-ut3ul]

"You're an adult wolf, Col" 😂😂

[@CloodyBlueless]

This makes me want to play a round of Theft and Shrubbery.

[@3rodox]

Quite a rush-a-doodle-do, like driving an Aston Martin straight into a fox 😂😂😄

[@nelliesnose5648]

Since lockdown I haven’t been able to come across any ‘train guys’, so I’ve been watching Bob’s videos to fill that hole. I fear that when I return to the outside world I will not be able to take any ‘train guys’ seriously, and will end up laughing in their faces thinking they’re joking.

[@nithingr4359]

Things that (as always) Col is; a lion, an adult wolf, a male insect, an adult herron, a male herring, a lonely herron, a peaceful ferret, a disgruntled pug, and, most notably, a vigorous pigeon.

[@henrycarnill9838]

This is so bloody spot on 🤣

[@badsport2008]

Oh, I'll sit down with a campachoochoo and watch this

[@Tiger-Suplex]

i lose it everytime at "vision express yourself"

[@tomshaw5025]

You are, as always, a vigorous pigeon

[@davidjames1638]

The only people who disliked this video are the real life Col's. Ciao!

[@demetrikatsidis6776]

I just said pretty much the same thing, then read your earlier comment. Sorry dude. Bella Fragmento

[@jasoncole1298]

This is one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Again

[@peterbrown7810]

that noise at 7:07 always gets me🤣. So accurate, always get that guy behind you who you want to smack.

[@sianiswack633]

Yeah but its quite funny

[@drslothlehoff806]

Thank you for editing this!

[@michaeldocherty7046]

This guy would fit The Apprentice like one of his expensive gloves. He'd probably win it.

[@c1v1lwar24]

“Got a physical meet” 😂😂😂

[@Kimmy234L]

I love him....he always has me crying with laughter 👏👏👏🤣

[@Truffle_Pup]

When his ears pull back after 5:15 hahahahaha Yah mine too, like Brussel Sprouts... Yah.. Yah..

[@Macho_Fantastico]

This is great, I love the transitions.

[@MyCovertNarcissism]

I was laughing how loud he was because he was in the car, lol.

[@marktowell9558]

Fluent in Italian too! What a guy

[@JoeRabone]

Have a campachuchu on me!

[@crashingdown6924]

What's a campachuchu... is it a coffee? I now call coffee to go at my job a capachoochoo

[@paulsmith1879]

It’s a lost city of the Incas

[@Johnny-sj9sj]

Paul Smith - very true. It’s on the banks of the rumncoco. Yah!

[@JoshuaDillonn]

“Outskirts of London....Superbia...”

[@TheLRider]

"Opportunity knocking shop"

[@marcjacobs1201]

It's so funny he is the best , have a nice Christmas Bob and your family you are the best ,

[@aka_howdy]

Awesome, recently discovered this on Twitter, thumbs up for doing this

[@corbuzchristi365]

"Driving an Aston Martin at a fox!" 😂😂😂 that got me bad that! 😂

[@emu8435]

I love Bob so much. My hero.

[@modernprophet9599]

Would love just a glimpse into the mind of this absolute genius!!!!!

[@johnnicol607]

Absolutely fantastic, if you are in need of some cheer this will delivery the tonic

[@JoeClarke-x9b]

No point repeating it, that is just a genius at work

[@-Tidgy]

Imagine someone just watching him, thinking wtf??? This guy's lost the plot he's having a full on convo with himself 😂😂😂😂

[@blakdog9875]

Bob Mortimer is a comedy genius!