Borderlands - A Boring, Unfunny, Unwatchable Disaster

[@Laxhoop]

The character of Roland in the games is one of the few characters that rarely ever cracks jokes, and when he does, it’s written and voice acted to make it seem like he’s not even aware he’s being funny. He’s a tall, jacked, and straight-faced military man, who takes every situation he’s in seriously. So obviously they cast Kevin Hart to play him.

[@Dregomz02]

I wonder where is Mordekai and Brick. Actually maybe better that they haven't been desecrated too.

[@Dar1usz]

Yes very serious - his lines from B1 : Woo! Time to get up in this! Critical biatch! Aww, you know that hurt! Haha, nailed it! Elite, my ass. Another one bites the dust. Mowin' 'em down, haha! In borderlands 2 theres nothing even near "haha" from him. Have you even played games ?

[@Gr3nadgr3gory]

Terry Crews would have been an infinitely better choice. Fuck, RDJ would have been better doing a Tropic Thunder.

[@Dar1usz]

​@@Dregomz02 becuase its a different timeline, Roland and Lilith sacraficed themselfes in games and somehow there they are. You wonder why theres no Brick, but dead Roland in movie is ok. Logic

[@Dar1usz]

he wasnt stoic and serious as you wrote, so obviously you have started on Borderlands 2 where he really been serious soldier.

[@extremegrieferbible]

How to bomb a video game movie 101: - Cast whichever Hollywood big name is available. They don't physically fit the character or are twice the age the character is supposed to be? Who cares, because we're going to make this movie to appeal to casuals instead of fans of the game, making the Borderlands brand name on the movie completely superfluous. - Do not give the actors any direction, especially not the young and inexperienced ones. - Make a PG-13 movie about a franchise known for its relentless gore and profanity. - Write a story that has basically nothing to do with the games and is just wildly throwing around different things from each game. - Make the big reveal something literally everyone who ever played these games already knew. - Bloat the budget so much that everyone who watches the movie thinks you committed money laundering. - Hire Eli Roth. Aaand that's about it.

[@tsdobbi]

It's also not really a video game property that is in the cultural zeitgeist. Non gamers aren't going to be piqued to go see this. If they made a Grand Theft Auto movie? totally different animal.

[@charlesws7825]

Shit, the Super Mario Bros. movie was truer to the games. Bob Hoskins made an excellent Mario.

[@charlesws7825]

​@@tsdobbiHollyweird would F up a GTA movie, too. Besides, GTA is meant to stay games where a player can let out their lizard brain and be bad. That's more fun than watching a movie we can't even interact with.

[@patrickdoherty4527]

​@@tsdobbiExactly. I pkay video games and I've HEARD of Borderlands..that's it. I assumed it was a Fallout knock off.

[@michaelhoerr2468]

They also released it while Deadpool is reminding everyone how an R-rated movie can be explosively popular.

[@chance_ondriezek99]

*Madame Web:* “I will be the worst movie of 2024” *Borderlands:* “Not on my watch!”

[@LeonardoKlotz]

#IBlameAviArad

[@JumpCutThis]

I have to imagine all involved with the fever dream that is MW just breathed a huge sigh of relief.

[@MythInTheMaking]

I honestly forgot Madame Web was this year

[@blinkusfishus2052]

I dunno.. I've seen people get some jokes out of Madame Web, some meme's, I've haven't heard anybody enjoy this on any level whatsoever... maybe some lol's out of Pitchford's reaction on twitter.

[@amofilmes1]

So madame web even sucks at being a bad movie.

[@anthonystuartjones]

Kate Blanchett salary £119M Movie budget £1M Is the only way to explain this!

[@winstonknowitall4181]

If Cate got 119M for this, there would be at least one positive outcome from the movie. She deserves this for all the joy she brought with her acting in other movies.

[@Everthus4]

i know like 10 person who can create better movie for 1 million dollars. With or without Kate. And i rarely move from my house. It must be money laundering.

[@thisguy-xx6ud]

Very bad special effects and acting. DEI cast. Horrible storyline.

[@modernminutemanmovement8341]

I am really starting to believe that these hundreds of million dollar movies and shows are just a way to launder money.

[@portalmanHUN]

That's pretty much it. Hollywood right now is the biggest money laundering operation on the planet.

[@patrickhenry7416]

Bingo

[@supermaneternal]

Hollywood accounting.

[@BrandonScott-mi5pz]

SAME.

[@tomjones4318]

Lefties control h'wood, the legal system, and almost all DC.

[@Hi-cm1cj]

CEO: “Give the film a chance” The chance:

[@kingnothing2161]

"Just like Borderlands 3. Did you give that a chance? Did you?"

[@MurrayLime]

might have seen it if they got the original clap trap voice actor

[@jebdunkins6796]

​@@LT-dn7mt I spent $6 to watch this movie and frankly that was too much. Save your money on this one.

[@joshuabean9409]

​@@LT-dn7mtaarrrrggg there be a cheaper way aarrr!!!!

[@jimkid1392]

​@@kingnothing2161I did. Fool me once....

[@elbentzo]

To anyone not familiar with the games -- the reason the Critical Drinker thinks 55 year old Cate Blanchett seems like a miscast and doesn't fit the youthful devil-may-care attitude of the character she's playing is that Lilith (in the games) is around 25 years old. They literally cast someone who's more than twice her age and is closer in age to *Lilith's* *grandma* than to Lilith herself.

[@ramonserna8089]

I woundnt mind Cate blanchett in the role if this were an older experienced Lilith, but they also made it a coming to age story. Lilith in her 20 is already a full psychic and in the movie is just getting her powers at age 55.

[@Khasym]

​@@ramonserna8089Agreed. They tore Lilith's story off her and tried to replace Tina's with it. That was NEVER going to make a good character on either end.

[@dingusbingus7463]

Something that bothers me is Hollywood giving the middle finger to VAs and just using popular actors when it's a voiced character and not an acted character.

[@sterling7]

I like Cate Blanchett. I think she's a very attractive woman, 55 or no. But maybe you shouldn't be seeing your action hero tossing themselves over a crate to take a trick shot and thinking, "Is your bone density up to this? I hope you're taking your calcium..."

[@CozyBolster]

what about dr patricia tannis? how old is she in game? i thought she's in her 30's in game but in this movie she's like 60 or 70

[@TheDaiuc]

Do they even know that Lilith is supposed to be in her twenties?

[@dr.bright6272]

The same way they know Tannis is supposed to be somewhere in her 30's, Roland's supposed to be tall and serious, and Tina's supposed to be a crazed 13 year old orphan.

[@cefalopodo5717]

My cast? Diverse My humor? Quippy My hero? Morally grey My villain? Misunderstood My themes? Progressive It's modern Hollywood time

[@LeonardoRodrigues-vi2hs]

Result? Flop

[@judyhopps9380]

nah the villain's white so there's no misunderstanding

[@tjroelsma]

Yeah, so what could go wro........... oh, oh, wait.

[@deemegaming9170]

Hotel? Trivago

[@jozef667]

@@deemegaming9170 58 seconds too late. Damn

[@zillauniverse7208]

Very ironic that they turn the Borderlands series which is famously known for its M-rating into a PG-13 movie thinking that it would earn them more money while an R-rated movie just made a billion dollars in 3 weeks.

[@rodrigodicandia6932]

Because reshoot rated m turning pg13 frankstentin

[@andrasekmate9468]

I’m not even gonna bother to watch it. I have way too much love for the game to butcher it’s sweet memories

[@crispyandspicy6813]

Remember in 80s when they made toys for kids based or R rated movies like Terminator and Robocop? Let the kids see a head or two explode. This is what's wrong with today's generation.

[@KaiHouston-m6j]

@@crispyandspicy6813 Weak as can be.

[@brandonm4550]

Why they thought it work as pg 13 is hilarious in itself. Making borderlands boring and unfunny is truly impressive.

[@mox3909]

Last time I came this early Tatiana actually offered to give me a refund.

[@NashvillePastaman]

Poor Tatiana!!

[@och70]

38 seconds is plenty.

[@hollowshield2315]

Oof

[@lola-to9om]

if you come early that means you enjoyed it Tatiana deserves tip 😢

[@tdata545]

@@och70 It's like the movies, if you past that 30 mark, you don't get a refund.

[@marqod1437]

"The number of 'Godzilla Minus Ones' you could shoot instead" will always be my favorite measurement system.

[@rateater1857]

I wouldn't mind Kate Blanchett as some sort of jaded, MILF-y experienced mercenary or something in an original, but as a girl with orange hair in Borderlands? That role needed like. An athletic 25 year old. It's like casting Mads Mikkelsen to play Harry Potter.

[@harrambou9468]

yeaaa my thoughts exactly 😛 an original of that kind woulda been kinda fire

[@reginlief1]

“Yer a wizard, Mads”

[@danielgeronimo5538]

She probably would've been better as the Moxxi character.

[@scots2129]

I saw the movie and was tired of her in the first 5 minutes. She looked and sounded ridiculous

[@CyanRooper]

​@@reginlief1 *cooks and eats Ron's severed leg*

[@huhhuhhuh4069]

Hollywood has completely lost touch with the audience. Add in overpriced budgets and you have an inescapable death spiral.

[@fantasticfreddie5]

I'm convinced that you people who constantly complain about Hollywood either don't watch a lot of movies or are easily upset that not every movie doesn't cater to you specifically.

[@kardnails8729]

I think this was filmed during Covid before they (hopefully?) started realizing this isn't working. Not sure why they even released it, to be honest. It was clear from the start it was going to be a disaster. The cast is horribly miscast and the trailers were awful.

[@markislivingdeliberately]

Hopefully someone will Be there to pick up the pieces for Pennie’s on the dollar and make IP great again. Enter: Elon musk. Say what you will I’m sure he’d know if he was thin in an IP as opposed to bezos.

[@Dbusdriver71]

The last positive review I've remember the Critical Drinker give was for the Bruce Willis movie Die Hard, the first one. I can't remember the last one after that one except for maby star ward mandelorian the rescue. I agree with you huhhuhhuh4069. Its not so much a 'death spiral' but a race to the bottom which is bankruptcy court for the Motion Picture Companies.

[@stevendouglas3781]

They’re not trying to be in touch with you.

[@CRUMVIII]

You know the movie is really bad when Drinker's "Go away now" sounds way more annoyed than usual.

[@alhira5098]

I'd be annoyed too if i'd have to watch this movie and have to talk about it afterwards.

[@gnarkilleptic4871]

Couldnt make it that far, this guys voice is forced and annoying its impossible to listen to these videos

[@cheddar76k]

@@gnarkilleptic4871so then why are you even here??

[@markusfreund6961]

@@gnarkilleptic4871 Just like your spelling and interpunction, then.

[@demosneokleous4877]

I find it funny the way he drops the f bomb

[@kazekami7313]

Fans : "Let's just recreate the game's storyline with live-action actors, and change as few things from the original as possible, yeah?" Disney/Hollywood : "NU-UH!!!!" **Later** Disney/Hollywood : "Wueeeeeehhh I lost so much money....those damn fans!!!"

[@babapambazuka2845]

You forgot Paramount.

[@FablestoneSeries]

The reason they don't ever do this, and won't do this, is because even if they own the IP, they don't want to have to pay the original writer's to use THEIR story. So to save $50 million dollars they think, we can just write our own story. This is why we won't ever get KotOR. Disney owns Star Wars and all it's characters, but to make a film from Bioware's story would mean paying out Bioware, and they'd expect a massive payday. Same deal here. This movie would have cost WAY more if they wanted to actually do the game any justice. What we got instead was what they could afford to give us.

[@kazekami7313]

@@FablestoneSeries Then they simply are idiots beyond saving....whats the big deal of a few million dollars in a billion dollars industry, if the end product ends up with a profit much higher???? Imbeciles and idiot activists should get fired, then the entertainment industry could make a lot more money, and we could get shows that are at least enjoyable.

[@dr.bright6272]

Director's: they're fake fans that don't understand my vision! It's all their fault my production flopped!

[@kazekami7313]

@@FablestoneSeries Apparently, my comment got shadow-deleted, so here's my answer for the 2nd time : They still lack common sense, as spending a bit more on it would've made it possible to become a big return movie with an actual fanbase.

[@MultiverseMania8]

An 8M box office opening against a 120M Budget. Yikes....

[@spiderman-2416]

Same Opening as Transformers The last knight. 🤣

[@mathewworkman1625]

And Hollywood won't learn a thing.

[@God_emperor_Doom]

They released this shitte on the theatres ?? 😂 I thought it was a Netflix movie

[@TheGreatSatan_]

@@spiderman-2416 Except it went on to make nearly 300 million after global sales

[@mr.animefan8920]

The cinematic equivalent of Coughing Baby vs Hydrogen Bomb.

[@DanReyesB]

It's so bad it has an almost meta level of irony, considering the fact that corporate greed ruined a movie about an IP that mocks how corporate greed ruins everything

[@dermottcolee145]

Nice copy and pasted comment on everything that has to do with this movie

[@gilbert8162]

@@dermottcolee145 Nice copy and pasted reply on everything that has to do with this movie

[@zednopercent8994]

​@@gilbert8162Nice copy and pasted comment on everything that has to do with this movie

[@DanReyesB]

@@dermottcolee145 if you mean the comment in the Penguinz0 video. That was also me. Not copying, just saying what I thought coming out of the movie.

[@jesuslovesmebetter]

@@dermottcolee145 Get off youtube for a while if you're so bored you've become the comment police.

[@Tophatgamming6502]

You think the guy who lifted the vault door got an extra one dollar raise or no? 0:01

[@BUKUDI]

He got to be pegged by the cringe feminist actress of his choice after wrap

[@Trionix]

No way that shot is in the final cut, they did NOT care lmaooo

[@TwilightAnarchy]

Thats a pretty bad trade there

[@catbhoy]

They are claiming that the feet belonged to Brick who has been edited out of every other scene he was in 🙈

[@ryleyy3]

@@catbhoywhat feet? Tf you on about?

[@Lithonion1]

I am a huge Borderlands fan and collecting movies is one of my hobbies. Not only will I not watch this, it will also never be found in my collection.

[@laius6047]

You don't sound like a movie collecting borderlands fan

[@infantryplankton]

I'm hoping there will be a bloody, uncut version released later and people will give it a 5/10 instead of a 1. In that case I might buy it. But as a BL fan... not touching this with a 10 foot stick otherwise. My wife and I planned to go last week and just went out for a nice dinner instead.

[@vladpalets]

wow clap clap good job very inspiring words mate

[@guichabanaano27]

As another borderlands fan (who was dumb enough to see the movie) I agree that you should ignore this movie. It's worse than skag shit.

[@cormoran2303]

It took Cate Blanchett 55 years to reach level 5.

[@jakeking974]

She must play like my dad, he's incapable of operating with two joysticks at once so him playing Borderlands means staring at the ground/sky and dying.

[@bradhaines3142]

@@jakeking974 my ex wife did the same thing lmao

[@wtfiswiththosehandles]

@@jakeking974 I am amazed that people playing games on aim assist find it fun. Is it fun?

[@g3nj1]

She thought this was another marvel movie

[@gummybearsonstrike147]

Omfg 😂

[@robertdascoli949]

"This should have come out 5 years ago" Filming started in April of 2021 and wrapped in June. 3 years of post production seems like something went way wrong.

[@Zombiesnyder13]

#IBlameAviArad

[@tevinngeleshi9297]

Wow. All those 3 years went down the drain and a complete waste of time.

[@Pakotugudugudugudugudugudugu]

3 years in post production is crazy

[@MrBananaLady-]

It’s true 5-8 years ago would have been more appropriate

[@tevinngeleshi9297]

@Pakotugudugudugudugudugudugu I mean, what was the point of making the movie for all those 3 years if it was going to be shit anyways.

[@gamerguy19981]

I feel like the tag line "inspired by a screenshot of Borderlands" is needed

[@Anon1370]

😅🤣

[@richardhockey8442]

inspired by a flood of r-rated Mad Moxxi fanart

[@Un0r1g1n4l]

I saw the trailer and simply said. "This has Ulwe Boll written all over it." Apparently, I owe Ulwe an apology.

[@Totallynotkyubey]

Nah, this is pretty much Boll level. His movies were shit like that.

[@rigdigwus]

His name is Uwe

[@Ol_Durty_Badger]

I would much rather watch Uwe’s movie a about “A Retarded Wizard in The Forest”

[@one2toomany]

"How did this cost 120million?" Cate Blanket, Jamie Curtis, Gina Gershon

[@TheJohn8765]

Sadly, you're probably correct. Tho I'd love to make 15+ million (or whatever) for 2 or 3 months work, it's clearly not sustainable. The next two Marvel films with the Russos and RDJr will cost nearly 200 mill just for those three people. Add in the immense CGI cost plus ad costs, and there's another, what, 250-300 at least per film? Probably more. And then there's all the crew and the other actors, etc, etc, etc. Totally Absurd.

[@NexusKin]

And also Kevin Hart and Jack Black.

[@justinlast2lastharder749]

Hey! I will always support Gina Gershon getting a role. She deserves it after Showgirls. I'm a 90's Kid, so always have a...hard spot...for her.

[@geerstyresoil3136]

@@NexusKin yep makes sense, leaves about 5 grand for plot, effects and crew.

[@jfrancismiller]

Budget Jamie Lee Curtis: $8 (Oscar quote) Kevin Hart: $10M Kate Blanchett: $5M Gina Gershon: $1M Jack Black:$3M (Kung Fu Panda quote) Producers: $30M Director: $5M SFX: $25M Production: $40M

[@ex_S1N]

If "How do you do, fellow kids?" was a movie.

[@gummybearsonstrike147]

Top comment !

[@cellamuert]

😂

[@charlesjefferson4372]

Lmfaoo

[@fairfortune67]

Nice

[@tvctaswegia497]

This is literally the thumbnail for a different roast of this 'movie' 😂

[@incurableromantic4006]

I love how "The cost of Godzilla Minus One" is becoming a standard unit of measurement - like double decker busses and football fields.

[@Natgunner]

Is there a metric system for money, lol? I don’t know we Americans wouldn’t use it anyway.

[@robertroy8803]

Even funnier since Gozilla himself is sometimes used as a unit of measurement for physical size.

[@chickensniffer451]

This will be the new unit of measurement after ww3

[@impartial_idea2497]

Those sound like American units

[@lucidbarrier]

"Cost of Godzilla Minus One" for scale

[@TheBonsaiZone]

I watched this movie for free on KZbin, I still want my money back.

[@snakey934Snakeybakey]

So the white male businessman was the secret villain and a threat to his daughter (who is also a strong independent whemyn) the entire time... No way!

[@TheAsylumCat]

Remember how Tina's behavior was explained by her watching her parents melt due to human testing, breaking her mind, and having a dnd styled dlc to resolve her trauma? I really don't care about Borderlands, it's too "lol random, pop culture reference" for my taste, but that bit stands out.

[@Virtualblueart]

They did Tina so dirty. Her tragic original backstory made you feel for her and made you understand why she was completely around the bend. So it felt logical the vault hunters decided to free form adopt her later on.

[@daigneauray7087]

He’s Hispanic - but the point still stands.

[@theenderdestruction2362]

​@TheAsylumCat Yeah, that is one of my own reasons for just not liking the games that and it just looks like a mess to me

[@GamesOfficialYouTube]

They always put white males as villains

[@MTLoveridge]

Allow me to answer a few questions. 1) Atlas was an arms company, not a person. 2) Tiny Tina's father is unknown and was an explosives expert. 3) Lilith was a siren. Someone born with powers and was about 20 years younger than Blanchett. 4) CL4P-TP (Yes, that's how it's spelt), was a line of robots, not one singular entity. 5) I could answer so many more, but the directors ensured ALL answers would be unanswerable because they didn't care for the source material. 6) Kevin Hart as Roland NEVER made any sense whatsoever!

[@jakeeb2441]

The fact that Terry Crews wasn't the first pick for Roland mystifies me. He's actually funny and fits the build type.

[@MTLoveridge]

@@GhostShot-mk9tq And? It still has source material for the directors to use. A smidgen of it would have been nice. And an actually good cast.

[@jastew35]

Wasn't Tina's father Krieg?

[@kevinstewart1870]

I know! As a huge fan of the games, I felt like I was having an aneurysm hearing the plot summary... If you're going to adapt a work, and appeal to an existing fanbase , it's best to build on what has come before. Here, they evidently went with the option of gutting and dismembering, before stitching the pieces together and wearing it as a horrific facsimile of a suit.

[@jakeeb2441]

​@@GhostShot-mk9tq I fail to see your point, the game isn't supposed to be plot heavy, it's focus is on gear, character builds, and weapons. With a lack of plot in the game, it would allow for more creative freedom in the making of the film. And we all know Eli Roth needs creative freedom to prosper :)

[@qwaserity]

This movie is so horrible it makes me ask, "Just how bad was Batgirl that it got scrapped but THIS makes it to the public screens?"

[@sgtGiggsy]

Batgirl was scrapped, because they knew they get back more money on tax-exempts than they would've got for the finished product. It wasn't fully finished yet, so they still would've pump like 20-30 million into it, only to have it bomb in the box office. All that, while DCU was officially dead at the time, and the movie wouldn't have fit the DECU. All in all, I don't think Batgirl would've been nearly this bad (I'm not saying it would've been good), it was just unlucky.

[@JavierSalcedoC]

When you understand this is just another money laundry gig, everything makes more sense 😂😂

[@madprophetus]

@@JavierSalcedoC eli roth.

[@fuzzywzhe]

You keep paying for this stuff. You deserve what you get.

[@Rebrn-bk5em]

its also horribly out of date when it should've been filmed when the 2nd game came out featuring new characters. never cast well known and beloved characters from a game because you will inevitably disappoint the audience

[@chidieberenwadike4165]

I'm a little worried for the minecraft movie that's coming out next year. A film that was in development hell for a decade, went through so many directors, and confirmed to be live action.

[@HarmonicWave]

A live-action Minecraft movie? The whole point of that game is that you're in an artificial game world, collecting pixel blocks of stuff and placing them somewhere else to build stuff. It would be like making a live-action LEGO movie with regular human actors and real world objects instead of cgi animated.

[@kingthanos1173]

The number of guns in this is really disappointing, especially since the weapons are what make the Borderlands series so unique and exciting.

[@__-nd5qi]

Wait they also took out the loot? From a looter shooter?

[@arishokvok8460]

The only one thing I liked in this movie was when Markus said to Lilith that she had a nice Vladof Infinity pistol. It reminded me that I was actually watching a BORDERLANDS movie. You know. GUNS.

[@LuisNunes-ps4sl]

Hollywood can't do gadgets any more, much less gun p0rn. Lack of testosterone in the writing roms.

[@mantelmann13]

Why did you pay to see this film? You have blood on your hands now.

[@notusingmyname4791]

"unique and exciting" you're kidding right? there were only 6 types of guns with 7 more types of attachments plus a couple dangly-bits you could put change from gun to gun... the individual attachments/upgrades are what made the guns "unique" but only in a shallower sense of what made the gun unique in fallout 4.

[@Constellasian]

Cate Blanchett is attractive, but she's just too old to play Lilith. Hiring her to play this character was only the tip of the iceberg for how clueless these showrunners were.

[@jessicaavery1080]

And the really sad part is she was still the best casted of all the horrible castings, not that that means much. Just a slightly less smelling turd in a giant triceratops pile of crap

[@doriandaykin2747]

Eli Roth apparently cast Blanchett to "combat ageism"...

[@camerongct]

She would have been absolutely perfect as Moxxi imo. The casting was sooo bad for this one.

[@VoxJ]

Who gives a F.... She does not look like 50..something? It is a bloody MOVIE

[@tictacterminator]

oh yeah even at 55 id bang her but i also like really admired her as an actress she WAS galadriel to me at one point its a shame to see people pay her to play such an undignified role

[@Chodaboy65]

The combined age of Kevin, Cate and Jamie-Lee is 175. Fuck sake, casting director... what are you doing.

[@cathair-moustache]

I don't know if you know how movies get funded, but it's with names, and names like that can get movies funded

[@sillymesilly]

@@cathair-moustachenot true. Star wars had unknown actors

[@md_vandenberg]

@@cathair-moustache Movies get funded by having a good plan. Names only get movies funded when you don't bother trying. Ever heard of a little movie called Deadpool? Ryan Reynolds fought for a *DECADE* to get Deadpool made. Who are the names aside Reynolds that got the movie funded?

[@CHROMEDOME0000]

@@cathair-moustache mf this movie isn't gonna break even. lenders who think "names" is all that matters are completely behind the times. this isn't 1991

[@CrzyLion]

​@@cathair-moustache a 55 year old unfit woman is the protagonist of an action movie and the woman playing moxxi (the sexual appeal character of the series) is 62. kevin hart does a good job on the acting department but he is literally shorter than the girl playing tiny tina It's 100% the casting director who fucked up this movie the most.

[@Nillix1]

The fact that it already starts at 0:00 where u can see the 1 of the production crew helping lift the hatch, this says all i need to know

[@rosshugecaulk]

Casting Kevin Hart as Roland was honestly just diabolical

[@zephodb]

If you don't care about age... which Cate Blanchet shows... Westley Snipes would have been a better pick... >.

[@hdjdjdbdbosnfbfvdvd9543]

Kevin Hart was and will never be funny and/or entertaining. Change my mind.

[@PizzaGeek87]

Agreed. When I heard that casting I was like "Wait...what? Omg this is not going to go good."

[@MatthewHoffmann-x7q]

@@hdjdjdbdbosnfbfvdvd9543 i liked him in jumanji... ngl cant think of anything else i like him in so agreed

[@gcm747]

I guess that’s what you do when your star power is crashing hard.

[@AlexOvTheAbyss]

Lilith, in the games, was mid-late 20's, so casting someone over twice her age was... a choice. Kevin Hart also doesn't seem like a great choice for Roland.

[@ZMCFERON]

I guess those gambling adverts aren't paying out well for Hart

[@minoxiothethird]

Hart was a fine pick for Roland, if you replaced the script and all of the other actors. Not alot of bl*ck actors in hollywood to choose from anyway.

[@justins340]

I'm more mad about Tannis

[@johnames6430]

needed the token black guy

[@thomasstewart1380]

​@@minoxiothethirdHart was a terrible pick. Roland is a large guy who is the only true "serious" character. Hart could never do him right. Idris Elba or Michael B Jordan would have been better picks.

[@VygoOG]

sometimes I watch these movies and genuinely think that I could make something better

[@mathewworkman1625]

I don't know you, but of course you could. We all could.

[@och70]

I have a feeling you, and plenty of other people could.

[@zionleach3001]

Passion always beats laziness and greed.

[@virtueofabsolution7641]

Normally it’s just the writing. It’s pretty rare for all the things to be bad.

[@bunnywithakeyboard7628]

That’s because the people who made it Didn’t Earn It.

[@mad_quack]

You’d think they’d learn by now how not to make a movie based off a video game. They always ruin them by taking too many creative liberties, and straying too far away from the source material. And actors that don’t fit the characters. And trying to force humor.

[@KopperNeoman]

That's a reoccurring problem throughout videogames themselves in fact. The underlining point is that no writer, not even for the games themselves, respects game mechanics as part of the canon. The only way to ever really get a "game-like" movie is when it DOESN'T start life as a game. A Halo adaptation that stays gameplay accurate and retells story beats not found in the actual games is the dream.

[@TotallyCluelessGamer]

The movie adaptation of most videogames simply isn't possible without the movie being horrendously long. Rather than trying to remake a game into a movie I'm of the opinion that they should be making movies about stuff that wasn't shown in the games.

[@Ind3xPlus]

Lilith being played by Cate Blanchett gives her the same energy like Ahsoka being played by Rosaria Dawson.

[@charlottewolery558]

In that case, at least Ashoka should be in her late 40s considering it's 30 years past padawan. There is no reason for Lilith this old.

[@returnedtomonkey8886]

At least with ahsoka made sense. She was a teen during Republic time, and it passes 20 years until the empire falls. She would be a middle aged woman by then. Lilith throughout the entire franchise looked like a woman in her mid 20s.

[@Thomasmemoryscentral]

​@@returnedtomonkey8886According yo a JoBlo post recently, Cate actually picked up a copy of Borderlands and a playstation to play for research. A shame her research is all for nothing

[@Ind3xPlus]

@@returnedtomonkey8886 That's true, but it still doesn't make sense that she's as agile as obi-wan in a new hope.

[@diegoxavier9107]

​@@ThomasmemoryscentralThe script was just bad. Lilith's character was fundamentally changed, anyway. In the games, she's aggressive, yeah, but she's also immature and laid-back with an awkward sense of humor. The hardened gun-for-hire doesn't really suit her

[@basparks8249]

The moment I saw the cast, I thought...what a waste of an IP. It feels like that insult : I hope your favorite video game gets a movie adaptation. Because you know it will be horrible"

[@ZenobianPrince]

When I heard about this movie and the cast I thought it was just a joke. The casting is so bad that I didn’t believe it was a real movie or that maybe it was going to be animated.

[@springtrap_66pg66]

Which it's quite sad because the videogame movies that have come out in the last 5 years has been absolute FIRE.

[@OGGuaves]

Drinker's gone on record saying he's a big fan of the Resident Evil series, and he slogged through and made a video about the AWFUL Resident Evil Netflix series

[@EscargoBay]

If they had chosen to use the original Claptrap voice actor from the games and changed nothing else, I guarantee it would have been far more successful. Plus they would have saved whatever millions they spent on Jack Black.

[@deltafire5058]

Probably the same casting director as Cowboy Bebop's live action poop pile.

[@GeraltofRivia22]

I'd be more upset if Borderlands 3 hadn't already ruined the franchise.

[@virtueofabsolution7641]

Stahhhahhhp he’s already dead 😭😭

[@WH250398]

Good god, those streamer twins. Cringe.

[@discipleofdeath2517]

And that tales of gearbox made

[@mikemoody3651]

Pitchford is doing his best to stamp out any embers of life.

[@kurtdewittphoto]

The streamer twins are annoying, but I had fun with it..

[@vvey4523]

They really looked at Lilith's character and thought "yeah we need a grandma"

[@floodgatemarketers3277]

I love that Godzilla Minus One is now forever the benchmark of budget inefficiency

[@cheslerpark7223]

*Efficiency

[@ScáthachAssassin]

@@cheslerpark7223 I was about to correct that too.

[@TheJohn8765]

Everyone should be striving to match its cost model. It had no business being as good looking as it was for the "pittance" it cost. JFC, 16 mill in Hollywood is the catering and private flight costs for the main stars (which tells how out of whack Hollywood is with reality).

[@floodgatemarketers3277]

@@cheslerpark7223 Woops. You are correct

[@smody121]

Any time the director comes out and says essentially "Don't believe the people who have already seen the movie and hate it... buy a ticket and see for yourself!", you know the movie is a huge pile of shit.

[@AsmonBold]

This can be said about Deadpool and wolverine as well

[@mikkojaatinen4508]

So cool to have "Lilith" so old that it's face is a blob of botox

[@mikeadams7904]

​@AsmonBold except that was good

[@PeoplePleaser578]

@@AsmonBoldno because D&W is actually fun, interesting and good. The action scenes are well shot and sure story is a bit lacking but overall was good… Borderlands is just bad.

[@liamknight2662]

@@AsmonBold the only issue is I have more fingers that people that have seen D&W and dislike it.

[@gnarwhal7562]

A movie based on a game that hasn't been relevant in 10 years, starring actors who likely haven't played a single Borderlands entry, that rips off Guardians of the Galaxy, and suffered from serious studio meddling? What could possibly go wrong???

[@jimkid1392]

Agree with you on everything except for the not relevant part. At least personally anyway since I still can't go a few months without diving into Borderlands 2 for a bit.

[@Kpazz]

@@jimkid1392 The fact you said Borderlands 2 (which was released in 2012) and not Borderlands 3 is just further proof that the franchise hasn't been relevant for over 10 years.

[@drointhewind480]

When Jamie Lee was cast she went and played all the games. You can find a few of her streams still

[@Matt..S]

What? You're saying Jamie Lee Curtis, known from movies such as a fish called Wanda from the 90s, isn't going to lure in millions of people into the cinemas? But Carrie Fisher managed that with Star Wars!! And the last time she was on the silver screen was in 83

[@danielcillie1856]

Ayo dont shit on the games, its great. The reason its a flop is because its nothing like the games.

[@jacobgame2757]

If I had to describe Lilith in a few words, it would be "young firestarter" in all senses of the word. I don't think there has every been a worse casting in a film.

[@cole-3606]

7:07 tax write off

[@damitcarl3942]

Add money laundering to that list! 👍

[@AtlasFlynn]

These insane budgets have to be money laundering at this point. $100 million? _Really?_ This isn't the first time this type of movie had this kind of budget either

[@kenoliver8913]

Yep, its a "Springtime for Hitler".

[@justinlast2lastharder749]

Definitely a lot of laundered money...but more in a "we have to pay this political entity and that other political entity that calls itself a "Union"...oh, and we gotta donate a bit chunk to Democrat Campaigns".

[@jonnym4670]

the sets were good look at the behind the scenes it was the Cinematography that screwed that one up the close ups all the time and the color filters and the costumes well that's not really fair since the game costumes look cheap and cosplay so unless the movie totally changed it like they did with the 90's -men that's what you're going to get and either way you wouldn't be happy

[@sethketa]

@@justinlast2lastharder749 Yeah, you clearly don't understand how money works. And if your first thought regarding a Union is a "political entity" as a derogatory term, then I encourage you to move to a country that has zero protections for workers and experience what your "ideal" actually is.

[@johnlocke4715]

I’m sick of studios pouring millions into overpaid actors and CGI that looks awful, and having a skeleton budget for the writing and everything else.

[@kerravon4159]

I always get a chuckle out of the fact that the degree of anger in the "go away now" closing line is directly proportional to how bad the movie was.

[@AlexanderT420]

Jack Black, Jamie Lee Curtis and was that Bobby Lee? Yeah... Nahhhh. Enough said.

[@Drain_Life]

They casted a 65 year old grandma to play a 30 year old Patricia Tannis. What an insult to fans of Tannis from the games.

[@Dar1usz]

She did good job. ( borderlands player since 2009 )

[@jukeboxfandango]

​@Dar1usz no she didn't. (Borderlands player since 1834)

[@Sachiko_Zeingor]

Granted there are only 4 fans of Tannis out there but Jamie Lee Curtis is unsuitable for this role in every way

[@Danielviomusic]

I mean, she is not ANY 65 yo grandma, she's goddamn Jamie Lee Curtis. She is a most capable actress. But she was definitely a misscast, and I don't believe no one could've done anything better with the dumpster fire of a script she was given.

[@kyragem9491]

Of all things I can say about Tannis, age is really not a factor in her character. The character is batshit insane, it doesn't matter how old she is, so long as the acting is right.

[@strawbarry7834]

As a big Borderlands fan all I can do is cry "Look how they massacred my boy." I hate everyone involved in this, including Pitchford.

[@gorillainterrupted]

This... Borderlands is such an important game to me, this is just so shitty and I hate them for doing this to it

[@leejordan001]

Includin Pitchford??? He is one (if not the) main cause of Borderlands going downfall! I hate him so much! He is now blocking his gogs on Twitter who defended his ass since Borderlands started to go down with the 3rd game... Real jerk.

[@Vegeta-4101]

Ah good ole Randy "Where did I put my usb drive" Pitchford.

[@xenobob2773]

Randy 'Aliens: Colonial Marines' Pitchford.

[@demosneokleous4877]

@@strawbarry7834 I said the same as soon as the first trailer released, and people called me crazy

[@CoolHardLogic]

"How the F did this thing cost $120M?" That gets asked quite a lot with modern Hollywood. I wonder if the answer involves funnelling funds out of a set of studios that aren't producing anything even half decent, in ways that look legitimate.

[@MemoristCed]

Springtiiiiiime for Someonnnnnne in Germanyyyyyyyy

[@Sage-Thyme]

"Catering"

[@Janzer_]

cost of named actors which ironically they only brought in to bring in people to watch it, which cost them more than it should have. should have cast nobodies at least then maybe broke even.

[@mtabby8791]

Child trafficking

[@713Calm]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollywood_accounting

[@andrewpolito9244]

"Lock Jack Black in a sound booth with no prep time and yell BE FUNNY!" loved it

[@obsidianjane4413]

Probably is not far off.

[@rollingrocker666]

Tiny Tina is supposed to have a crazy/comical Harly Quinn like personality while Roland is supposed to be tuff and noble but it's like they had their personalities switched for the movie.

[@FunkMastaMegaFlex]

And that is a recipe for disaster.

[@trymv1578]

Tina is NOT Harley-like, and thats half the reason people groaned when the actress said she based the performance off her. Tina is straight up a Tank Girl reference, if anything. Harley is a woman scorned (pushed into an LOLRANDOM character in modern era), whereas Tina is literally just a girl raised in the wilds with no morality.

[@nedbigby9694]

@@trymv1578 Tank Girl is the Chad wife. Harley Quinn is the femcel soyjack anime fangirl.

[@hoskins666]

feminism demands stronk and andapandant, diversity demands black people be likable

[@chickenquesadilla8139]

@@trymv1578 Tina saw her parents get murdered after being kidnapped by Hyperion, Flesh-Stick ratted them out. She went nuts afterwards, not "just a girl raised in the wilds". She even has a whole revenge mission to torture him and have all his friends murdered as a "tea party". Girl had issues causing her behavior, I can see comparison to Harley in that regard. That being said, I was one that groaned bc I was hoping we'd get the character growth we got from Assault on Dragon's Keep. Instead we were guaranteed to get the Borderlands 3-esque Tina at best, which was still going "bazongas, badonkadonks and spaghetti bomb sauce whaaaaaaaaaat I'm so random lolololol". She wasn't an acrobat in any aspect in the games. She just ran around. The cartwheels Tina does in the trailer just doesn't suit her body language from the games. We're all sick of any quirky girl character getting the "OMG SHE IS JUST LIKE HARLEY QUINN" trope. It'll get groans 100% of the time.

[@jonsolo32]

Audience: ” for once, could we please have a lore accurate video game adaptation?“ Hollywood: “ not on my watch!“

[@jamietodd2560]

"Let's just throw some expensive actors into scene after scene and maybe a good movie will just happen."

[@rickbase833]

Amazon: Yes, watch the Fallout series.

[@SpruceCampbell]

Movie games tend to work when the lore is almost non-existent. When the game's campaign is easily 10x longer than your movie runtime, it basically prohibits the reason for the movie even going into pre production. Take a game that's popular but only has multiplayer instances without a story, such as Counter Strike or Minecraft or such and go with that. I'd take Rocket League and give it the plot of Little Giants or The Sandlot or some such sport plot.

[@SamSchott1]

@@rickbase833 You beat me to the same reply!

[@darkosiris09]

@@SpruceCampbell This is not true, you can come up with a 100% original story and wrap it as a substory/side-quest in the established lore. Of course, it has to be of smaller scale than the original game's story but not every film has to be about saving the world anyway

[@71Dana]

I don't understand why they didnt use the existing sad and tragic backstory for Tiny Tina. It has been years since I played Borderlands 2, & I still remember it.

[@Crazy_Broke_Asian]

Because hollyweird isn’t interested in making money on a good product, they’re interested in subtly (or usually not subtly) propagandizing the populace. Their investors are too busy looking at the DEI scores of their investments to pay attention to any actual value the studios provide.

[@adcraziness1501]

the movie producers probably knew nothing about it, they don't watch the stories they just read the back of the game box and say "I got this"

[@HowToChangeName]

Or they only played Borderlands 3 for the humor and think we all love it

[@ex_S1N]

@@71Dana it's almost if they had no interesting or compelling story to speak of, and hired big name actors who's never played the game in hopes of carrying a movie they had no interest in 🤔

[@SantomPh]

when you hire people due to union commitments and not suitability, this is the effect

[@dankgankster4100]

In the auto industry the term “badge engineering” refers to when an auto manufacturer takes a pre-existing model, changes the appearance a little, and tries to convince the public that it’s an entirely different vehicle. Meaning they only engineered a badge and glued it onto something that already existed, be it in house or imported. This movie is just that godawful jumanji movie but disguised as a different video game

[@brianhaugh152]

Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Jamie Lee Curtis... the first thing I thought was "why is the cast so old?". Borderlands was a terrific game, a fave of mine. But it skews young. I knew as soon as I learned of the casting that this wasn't going to work out.

[@UltraKryptonian]

They wanted to give a pay-day to the liberal puppets of Hollyweird!

[@Nikelaos_Khristianos]

The games are so full of childish humour that it just needs a bunch of 20 somethings who aren’t going to feel awkward making a joke about shoving a grenade up someone’s ass

[@paj81]

Where are the young promising actors in Sheissewood?

[@heenlav4596]

Your absolutely right but I can kind of understand Jamie Lee Curtis' interest in doing the film. She is quite into gaming due to her trying to bond with her son from what I understand. Thats why she was in the WOW film. Theres videos of her online saying that she mains Cammy in SF.

[@Slim_Sumo]

Curtis would have been fine as Tannis 20 years ago. Shes a legend. Hell i think she would have been fine today if everyone else were at least cast better and the script werent garbage.

[@Xellos14]

Built, jacked and six foot tall Roland played by 5 nothing Hart, Lilith played by someone's grandma, Tannis actually is someone's grandma, claptrap somehow even more annoying. The casting in this disaster is truly impressive, I struggle to come up with more humorous and worse selects off the top of my head.

[@TimoRutanen]

Sort of feels like they were deliberately trying to change all of the characters at once

[@Xellos14]

@@TimoRutanen Seeing the cast my assumption was it had to be set like, 30 or 40 years into the future or after the events of 2, but not sure how they could have without "Weekend At Roland's" the entire time.

[@TheJohn8765]

Jamie Lee Curtis is 65. That they felt compelled to give her obvious cleavage is just plain weird. Not to age-shame, but 65 isn't "sexy" to anyone under 60 (unless you have a fetish). Really, really odd choices in this film.

[@Uzarran]

This entire movie feels like the "Stunt-Doubles" gag from Spaceballs.

[@margarethmichelina5146]

They could just cast Terry Crews or Idris Elba to play Roland.

[@Drakonis.Imperial]

And also starring Kevin Hart as ... Kevin Hart. Can we just admit that he's not an actor? He's like Dwayne Johnson ... he is the character, the script just changes the names.

[@zoelmond]

That's why I've enjoyed Robert Pattison lately - Watch The King, Tenet, The Lighthouse or The Batman (2022). He's really gone far in the acting world compared to his Vampire years.

[@JamesTobiasStewart]

Honestly that was one of the things that got pointed out about the recent Jumanji films (which to be clear I actually enjoyed). Johnson, Black & Gillan, they all played outside their standard type for Jumanji 2, meanwhile Hart was just playing Kevin Hart in it and he really stood out for being the only one not changing his performance at all. Now to be fair, in the sequel he stopped just doing his usual schtick, so he could be Danny Glover instead, but the fact is, Jumanji 3 is basically the only time I have seen Hart do something that wasn't basically just himself (as well as the last time I saw Johnson do so either).

[@moohsenbrody2443]

literally the most overrated actor ever

[@kevins4213]

I got ten minutes into Die Hart 2 as a nothing better to do movie and decided I had better things to do.

[@BarryHart-xo1oy]

You’re probably right.

[@lourensdebruyn293]

That beret is the most cringe thing of the whole film. How can they put so much effort into costume but not get that beret right? No attitude. No pride. No soldier wants to be seen dead in a muffin top like that. Sheesh.

[@kazrik257]

Don't forget that these writers were likely protesting a few months ago for the pay they 'deserve'.

[@scots2129]

This is one of the most accurate KZbin comments I have ever read

[@finkamain1621]

I 100% believe that these movies are just money laundering because of how bad they flop. Get Billy and Fred Fredburger to write the script and there you go, box office flop

[@davidreed2626]

This comment right here should be mandated to be on screen for 5 seconds in white text over a black background before every movie kicks off for the next 5 years at least

[@Reavan07]

Might have been better to take that money and invest it in openAI to write the script. Might have been better aligned with the story.

[@ohthatswild1755]

Has it occurred to you that the bad writing is BECAUSE they source the writing to AI?

[@ashes0527]

I could tell that "go away now" was like 1% more frustrated than usual lol

[@LordNelsonkm]

Yeah, that was a little spicy for Drinker. He jumps on so many grenades for us though. I'm thankful for his sacrifice.

[@micktaylor5205]

@@LordNelsonkmsame. He’s a hero of sorts.

[@BumpBobLooly]

The Last Airbender, Dragon Ball: Evolution, Artemis Fowl, and Borderlands. We now have a quartet.

[@JamesTobiasStewart]

Four fanbases who will never forgive Hollywood.

[@PermanentGogeta66]

We finally did it 👍🏾

[@axxura5286]

you forgot Eragon and Percey Jackson

[@blackhand441]

Percy Jackson has fans Not gonna lie, I was one

[@hodjr0]

Dungeon siege: In the Name of the King (2007), Warcraft (2016), Mortal combat (1995), Street fighter (1994), Super mario movie (1993), the list goes on. As long as there are video games there will also be mediocre / bad adaptations (and some good ones as well, luckily).

[@GroperJoeandFriends]

They took beautiful, smart, strong female characters and shat on them hard 😂😂😂

[@HalcyonSkies]

"Locked Jack Black in a sound booth with no script no prep time and told him "BE FUNNY"" Gee, that sounds like Ghostbusters 2016 all over again. I guess Hollywood really does never learn.

[@celuiquipeut6527]

These writer dont know anything about being funny. Or relatable. I've never seen a generation so talentless. I mean, they have to bring back GRAND MA'S out of retirement to play boss babes heroine on screen. WTF!?

[@PotentialLegend]

I'll never understand why they cast a 55 year old actress to play a 22 year old character.

[@Enigma75614]

@@PotentialLegend I heard that they wanted to combat ageism or something

[@dawnfire82]

@@Enigma75614 Then they failed. 'Oh, THAT'S why you want age-appropriate casting. Makes sense now.'

[@SherLock55]

I'll never understand why they thought making a movie on Borderlands period would be a good idea, not a very deep game in terms of plot characters to begin with.

[@Venomous_000]

Holly weird has an issue with women losing money and roles as they lose sex appeal.. Apparently NO problem with many of these women getting easy $$ for being problem when young. And many men like Morgan Freeman had to wait till old age to have his image and work.

[@kenoliver8913]

I'll never understand why Cate Blanchett accepted that role. She's doesn't need the money and it should have been obvious from the start she would just embarrass herself. She is actually a very talented actress but you would never know that from this turd of a movie.

[@wargen8121]

"Soo, you want to hear another story?" NO. WE DON'T. STOP.

[@skullmaister]

Bro the opening doesn't even have the classic borderlands montage or have ain't no rest for the wicked play at all.

[@Vok250]

That huge budget leads me to believe this was all a huge front to line pockets in Hollywood. Scraping some extra money in from the IP was extra. The real goal was moving hundreds of millions of dollars.

[@andrew1983]

The irony is Borderlands never had a good story to begin with, it was a loot shooter, the only good story was Handsome Jack in Borderlands 2, not to mention this should have came out over 10 years ago when the game was still relevant.

[@Nikelaos_Khristianos]

It’s not so much carried by the story in Borderlands 2 to be fair, it’s more like the writing in 2 is much better than what it was in the first game - thanks Jack 🙏😂 But a good Borderlands story does exist: It was Telltale’s Tales from the Borderlands, that game was stupidly well-written and proved hands-down that Borderlands can have a good story while having its weird as fuck humour. That’s all this film needed to be

[@MasterHall117]

@@Nikelaos_Khristianosunfortunately people STILL can’t figure out how to make a good video game movie respecting the IP that came before it… I don’t understand how fuckin hard that is to do..

[@scesfizia]

Tales from the Borderlands was an excellent story. That should have been made into a miniseries by HBO.

[@J05c]

The first game story was non existent just fun. But man BL2 was so good

[@Rebrn-bk5em]

Handsome Jack was such a good bad guy! his voice actor nailed it

[@maxsolntsev1537]

Hollywood has finally reached the level of Uwe Boll of twenty years ago.

[@frankgesuele6298]

🤢🤢

[@charongold6532]

They learned from "the best" game to movie adaptor of all times haven't they... Just throw whatever small tidbits of game, mix it with the worst of Hollywood and voila... a turd sandwitch is served ladies and getlemen

[@uniktbrukernavn]

He was ahead of his time, a trash visionary. Maybe his catalogue of films will have to be re-reviewed and re-rated. This opens up the flood gates tho...Steven Segal...

[@guvyygvuhh298]

Skibidi toilet movie is coming Yep, the brainrot is real

[@DVAcme]

This movie would have been way more entertaining if Boll had directed. Boll is BAD, but he isn't BORING. and he would absolutely not have compromised and made the movie a hard R.

[@justinianDT]

The movie was so boring I can’t even get through this 7 minute review. Tapped out at 5:30

[@donkeyrhubarb1381]

Same here)))

[@jasonwolny7412]

Same! At 5:30

[@MtHermit]

I was at 5:37 when I contemplated clicking off

[@noaheke2666]

Literally same 😂

[@LV30Dad]

Omg that's crazy. I literally clicked the comments after 5:30 cause I'm like fk ya I'm not watching the movie.

[@mcboomsauce7922]

damn that was brutal....i didn't think this movie could possibly have been that bad, but i really trust your judgment

[@markcarr5142]

When movies like this come out , and I wonder why , I have to remember that Hally Berry has explained exactly how these movies get made almost 20 years ago. When Hally Berry received her Raspy award for the movie Catwoman, (being one of the first actresses to actually show up to the event), she said the reason the movie was made can be summed up in 2 words: CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATIONS.

[@brainflash1]

So its illegal for women to read contracts and scripts now?

[@cheddar76k]

@@brainflash1not at all dingbat, he’s saying that it works on a quid pro quo system. They can make their projects, BUT they own the studio a movie or 2

[@waltercomunello121]

@@brainflash1 what? 😳

[@brainflash1]

@@cheddar76k And women can't say no?

[@brainflash1]

@@cheddar76k Try actually reading what I wrote next time.

[@fishjones4618]

Disparu pointed out that a crew member’s arms can be seen pulling open the hatch at 3:40 of your video and now I can’t unsee it. And neither can you!

[@_ClericalError_]

Not only his arms, but also his head and baseball cap pass through the gap. Good grief, were they even trying?

[@SusanDelgado1177]

Can't see it😥

[@zztopz7090]

And it was so unnecessary because there are 4 people just standing around.

[@cvn6555]

@@SusanDelgado1177 On the hinge side of the hatch. The cast member opens it from the other side and the crew member reaches from the hinged side to finish opening. Can see his face, ballcap and arms. Really bad.

[@gordonfreeman1163]

Haha I hope they left that in the final cut

[@VorpalSpider69]

I saw the trailer for this when I watched _Deadpool vs Wolverine,_ and I said to my mom “why waste Cate Blanchett and Jamie Lee Curtis like that?”

[@williamrockwell9705]

What is there to waste, you all have just been conditioned to think they bring something to the table when they don't.

[@riseofazrael]

@@williamrockwell9705 No, you are wrong. They're both good actors with some iconic roles. Cate as Galadriel and Jamie Lee in Halloween and True Lies. You have no idea what you're talking or just have awful taste in film.

[@majora919]

​@@riseofazraellegit most of Jamie Lee Curtis roles is playing SA victims, so not sure what you mean there

[@soulextracter]

@@majora919 Well...she's really good at it!

[@nydutch1609]

​@@riseofazrael😂😂😂😂Dime a dozen nobodies.

[@DB57RB]

I've been saying this for many disney projects and it sounds like it's the case here. I believe there is a bunch of embezzlement going on in hollywood studios. There are too many movies/TV shows that have somehow cost hundreds of millions of dollars.

[@cujoedaman]

I woke up at 4:30 this morning for work. The TV was left on and HBO was playing "2001: A Space Odyssey". I see a movie like this and think just how bad things have gotten.

[@mehitablestorm8877]

I feel the same way and it only took a couple of generations. In another generation we'll be back to living in caves.

[@randybaumery-cp7tf]

It'll be planet of the apes.

[@nicholasadamson2103]

It's hard to beat Kubrick in any era.

[@driftertank]

Im becoming increasingly convinced that the reason Hollywood spends hundreds of millions of dollars on ugly, overwrought CGI dog turds while passionate independent studios can turn out well-written, well-acted, and good-looking films for the equivalent of the spare change from the couch, is simply that Hollywood has become little more than a giant money-laundering cartel.

[@marqod1437]

Among other things, like bored millionaires with lots of spare time and heads pumped full of post-modernist subversion.

[@masterofbloopers]

Fun fact: according to the actress who played Tiny Tina, she based her performance off of Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn, as opposed to... you know... Tiny Tina from the video games.

[@Sage-Thyme]

Hardly surprising considering Eli Roth based it on 5th Element, Escape from LA and Blade Runner. Seems like everyone involved failed to realise they were making a Borderlands film. Pretty sure costume and casting thought they were doing a Halloween night version of the Purge. That's some homemade costume mess right there.

[@tomjones4318]

HaHaHa ... None of them even know what BL is.

[@HomeAloneGaming1]

its weird b/c the early games are now "cult classics" that will be played into the future and a movie should have been a piece of cake that simply retold the plot of the first couple games...

[@Zan_Jayna]

'Okay guys, you know how Cate Blanchett was smokin hot as Hela? We need the opposite of that..' - Borderlands producers to costume/makeup dept

[@Grover91]

I would happily let her step on me in heels in that Hela costume.😂

[@MAGAMAN]

"Cate Blanchett was smokin hot as Hela" lolno

[@GH-ub7qz]

she looked like a cgi lesbo witch as hella...hot?...lol to each their own

[@crankfastle8138]

​@@MAGAMANbro you're in the minority with that opinion, I believe.

[@MAZZLE.MCFAZZLE]

@@MAGAMAN gay

[@ouchiegiverjr]

The fact they couldn’t even bother get the original 4 vault hunters shows how much they cared.

[@KuruIShere]

It’s supposed to be a prequel, I think? So it wouldn’t make sense to have the original 4 from Bl2.

[@Val_Killmore]

Probably because The only 2 people they could have cast as Brick turned down the job because they knew it was shit

[@GuntherWenk]

@@KuruIShere That doesn't even make any sense either, cause neither Krieg nor Tina knew Lilith before the events of the first game.

[@Ralathar44]

Dude, they shoved Tiny Tina into it and then retconned her entire character and backstory out of existence. I'm not gonna say her backstory was Citizen Kane level writing, but after knowing her as this crazy joke character finding out what broke her and turned her that way DID make me care. The movie is just utterly disrespectful to the IP its based on.

[@marky3358]

​@@KuruIShere You do know Borderlands 1 exist right?

[@BlueEyesWhiteGuy89]

When the porn parodies are more faithful to the series than an Eli Roth movie. This is clearly the BL3 of Hollywood.

[@thenerdyknight1559]

The absolute state of cinema

[@Mirthful_Midori]

It's the Duke Nukem Forever of movies. Both wasted too much time in development and weren't worth it. They also both have Randy Pitchford involved, at least tangentially.

[@Rebrn-bk5em]

i didn't absolutely hate BL3 but that character with the mech you can use saved it. just turn the VO sound off lol

[@m4sherman375]

At least bl3 had decent gameplay

[@RADIATI0N-g1h]

I've only played 2 and 3 and my goodness I have never been this disgusted the amount of brain damage I got from trying to watch this movie failed to finish it couldnt cross 20min

[@temetnosce2099]

So shitting on the source material didn’t work out? “Maybe next time!” - Hollywood.

[@nERVEcenter117]

Let's be honest, the source material ain't great.

[@Pralenyth]

@@nERVEcenter117 I'm gonna be honest, I would much rather have source material adapted into a series or something compared to this steaming pile of dogshit.

[@GigglingStoners]

@@nERVEcenter117 And it's still a hundred times better than this pile of feces.

[@catbhoy]

See … The Witcher

[@Unapologeticweeb]

@@catbhoy and halo

[@badkharmah17]

Right from the get-go I wasn't optimistic about this film. After the first trailer showed the cast, including two aging actresses doing action work, I immediately was confused, and had no interest in seeing the movie.

[@harrambou9468]

Not to mention the trailer butchering one of the best ELO songs for no reason

[@demosneokleous4877]

Same

[@upsetforever7643]

I presume Kevin!!!! is Roland? I'm confused by this movie because there are people in the movie who should never have been in it if it was based upon first game and it looks like it was also Tiny Tina is mechomancer not a siren and Roland and the gang weren't sent for Tina they are vaulthunters it was their job to open vaults hence why they had a siren Lilith.

[@jdogg448]

peoples mums who played the games aren't even 55!

[@williamrockwell9705]

Aging? No they are old!

[@scots2129]

I took my employees out to see this as part of a "fun, team building" thing after a training meeting. It turned out more as a punishment than an perk. One of my employees said it best. "I think the script was written by AI because it was nothing but cliches and rip offs of other movies."

[@doormatt72]

to be honest, that sounds like it could make for a hilariously fun bonding/teambuilding activity. laughing at a terrible movie together is pretty great.

[@jujuubug5163]

Thinking AI had done better 😂

[@NightLexic]

There is a comment on another video about the BL movie where someone actually did get ChatGPT to do a movie plot for Borderlands. It actually was better.

[@Enigma75614]

Why would you not check Rotten Tomatoes first? Obviously they’re not very trustworthy, but if a movie gets scores this low, it’s probably pretty bad.

[@bilko991]

Do you dislike or perhaps hate your employees for some reason? Have they wronged you in some way? Taking them to see this film seems like cruel and unusual punishment. Actually this situation sounds like a much funnier film, a nice boss taking his staff out to see a film as "thank you" but it turns out to be a terrible film and the staff desperately want to get out of it without having the boss catch on. Hijinks ensue!

[@CleetusVanDamme530]

Didn't know Uwe Boll was still making movies from everything I've heard about this.

[@holdmeclosertonydanza22]

I wrote a better Borderlands film in the 10 minute drive home from the theater. Kid on Pandora dreams of being a vault hunter, sneaks onto the bus with Marcus, ends up the only survivor, gets captured by Bandits, Tina is the leader. Main character wants to find the vault, Tina directs him to Lilith, Lilith is missing so Tanis helps main character find him. Villain behind initial bus crash learns main character is alive, moves in to stop him. Race to the vault. Main character gets into the vault, but, oh no, villain is there too. Villain transforms with power of the vault, entire team takes down Villain, vault opens, Pandora is saved. Set up sequel with new vault concept.

[@rjrowley3887]

Yeah this is a waaaay better movie

[@c2thew]

Not a bad idea. Needs some emotional character development and heartfelt moments and then you set up the audience to anticipate the sequel

[@jase276]

I think I've seen that done like 10 times already, but still a much better film

[@krushking643]

Seeing the crew member help them open the manhole and now I can't unsee it 😂

[@silas6328]

Tiny Tina was great in the video game. The whole thing is that EVERY main character is completely unhinged in their own way, but Tina was the craziest of them all and you kinda love her for it. It's like if you turned Heath Ledger's Joker into a 12 year old girl and dropped her into the world of Mad Max: the only reason she's not terrifying is because she's on your side and everyone that runs afoul of her kinda deserves what she gives them. To reduce such a great character to this...

[@xviii5780]

she has a reason to be that way as well - she's been irreversibly mentally scarred by the insane anarchy that is Pandora, and she's only like 12. She gets really good development in the dlc too...

[@silas6328]

@@xviii5780 oh, I know. But that's where everyone ELSE being batshit comes into play. They find out why she is the way she is and rather than swiftly ushering her to a loony bin to get some help they just say, "fuck it" and help her torture more bad guys to death and making heavy use of her extreme pyromania.

[@abdulamar9907]

@@xviii5780 Man, Assault on Dragon Keep is, to me, still one of the best game DLCs ever, probably beaten only by Witcher 3 Blood and Wine and Shadow of the Erdtree. That ending for Tina made me cry, no lie. And the GUNS on that DLC is so good and fun to use too. And all that got thrown away for BL3, and then this abomination came out and made it worse. It's sad to see.

[@tvctaswegia497]

I always love that tea party quest. Oh Fleshstick you naughty naughty boy!

[@iotaeta-pi2770]

If I were making a Borderlands movie, a well-written and performed Handsome Jack would have been the cornerstone.

[@TightNinja]

Yes and it probably would have focus on his back story and how he became a villain. Cant remember if they told that in the games...been a long time since i have played them. That way people might be willing to go back and play the games

[@iotaeta-pi2770]

@@TightNinja That was (at least partially) in the prequel. I got bored with the game early on, so I don't know much about the plot.

[@KingMoon110]

Gearbox CEO didn't take the reviews and box office news to well and has been having a complete meltdown on twitter, even blocking people who promoted the movie for free.

[@dogsmasterrace]

Ahhh Randy Pitchford...the guy currently holding Duke Nukem hostage in his basement. Google Randy Pitchford USB Medieval Times

[@cellamuert]

that dude's been a basket case for decades. is he doing magic tricks to cope too?

[@alexobrien9066]

The director Eli Roth wanted this be every movie except a Borderlands movie. Trying to be "Star Wars", "Fifth Element" "Mad Max", "Escape from New York"

[@echoesofmalachor3700]

And it’s completely lost on him that none of those movies were trying to be something else.

[@zthemutt]

Don’t forget Guardians of the Galaxy

[@lucariodx8344]

Eli Roth : hear me out... Borderlands movie but without Borderlands story ? Yea the fans of the Borderlands ain't gonna be too happy about that

[@johnames6430]

Eli Roth huh 🤔nahh must be a Mormin...or...

[@innocentsmith6091]

Borderlands wants to be all of those things too. It was always a pretty dumb IP.

[@LorePlayingGames]

It looks like Hollywood fell into its own trap of "oh no, older actresses never get cast in movies" with Kate Blanchet. She made a perfect Galadriel, graceful and regal, and this is how I want to remember her.

[@cvn6555]

Well, they ruined Guyladriel with the Amazon series so why not. Yes, though, she was perfect in the movies.

[@yuriski1]

I many ways, this movie shows why (most) videogame adaptations flop: Hollywood can't decide wether to make a movie for fans or the general audience. From a "fan" perspective: Even hobbyist cosplayers can make better looking costumes and props. From a general audience perspective: Making "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" references to the game, or even bringing over whole sequences isn't enough to keep them entertained.