Borderline (BPD) Woman interview-Grace

Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Grace, a woman with borderline personality disorder in San Diego, California.
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[@marquanreese7895]

"The best thing for me is being alone, bc there's nothing that can go wrong" I felt that.

[@poppyc4292]

Me too. 😔

[@lauriedonnelly7134]

Me too

[@minniemin1324]

things still go wrong, in my mind

[@hebbeffs]

I am a husband to a wife with BPD. When we first met back in 2015, I could tell right away that she was "a very emotional and sensitive person", but not more than that. I remember when she told me about her disorder about 1 year into our relationship, when we were 24. (She had already had a few years of therapy and was more stable than she had been when she was a young adult.) I read up on BPD and got a bit scared at first, but then thought "fuck it, i love her and from what i can tell, all i need to do is be mindful of this disorder in our day-to-day, be a bit extra understanding and considerate and it should work out fine." Fast forward to today: we have been married for 3 years now and have two beautiful sons together. She is an incredible person and wife, and the best mother a child could hope for.

[@josiebell3267]

💞

[@Liztonicedtea]

💙💙💙 thank you for sharing, I hope things continue to go well!

[@winnieamar9368]

Wow. You really do love her! You have been patient to understand her and are regardful and considerate of what she's going through. Cannot appreciate you enough! I also hope that you are fulfilled and happy as well! Take care of yourself too!

[@stmaryericka6328]

Beautiful

[@jayr.7209]

Good luck with that

[@tayler942]

I went to school with this young woman, she is a kind soul, she was always warm to me even when I was a bit awkward at first. I wish nothing but the best for her, I hope she sees these comments and feels connected to people like her. She is incredibly strong, smart and beautiful inside and out.

[@wholeshebang1]

It's great to hear your personal experience matches what resonated with many of us by Grace's forthright sharing of the insight she's gained and remarkable progress she's made, despite all odds.

[@termikesmike]

Red Flags for 'personality ' disorders : childhood abuse means plenty is wrong with the family which is the core problem - parents are messed up and likely came from the same dysfunctional family ( plain and simple > divorce , breakdown of the family which is leading to breakdown of society ....if you aren't raised in a loving environment with positive interaction with other people what can u expect ? You need to experience being on a team, in a chorus - some kind of 'social involvement with others' - seems for her 'working' fulfilled some of this fortunately. ( I'm curious, why the 'nose rings' ?? what's the meaning ? )

[@MrMiniPancakes]

Taylor is cute 🤣🤣🤣

[@traphippi]

Aww love you girly thank you !

[@danyluk1]

Anything else?

[@credovids]

My daughter had BPD. Knowing her and others like her, I have learned that most of us can limp through life ignoring our issues but people with mental health challenges do not have that luxury. They must commit their life to self-improvement. That is why Grace is so intelligent and self-aware. I have found people with mental health issues to be the bravest and most intelligent people I have ever known. I am proud of my daughter and of Grace.

[@jerzij6024]

as a daughter with bpd. this is precious. a1 dad right here

[@florsolacemusic]

Thank you for this comment, I needed this today

[@PotatoCouch666]

this brought me to tears man...

[@musicandpoetry_8]

Your daughter is lucky to have you ❤

[@CookiesCritterCare]

My dad just died 5 days ago and my sisters and mom refused to tell me and found out from my cousin. They are angry that I know now Sister is a "counselor" and I have bpd. She was slandering me and assassinated my character in text to my uncle. Basically she said I was dangerous and a horrible person etc. A counselor? I'm so sick of this garbage

[@artisttjan]

"I do love life, I just don't love myself." That is so heartbreaking.

[@allysonhaynes2215]

I feel this so deep down in my soul 😢💔

[@tombenson9357]

What's to love? Puppies die at the hands of scumbags. Everyone is on the grift. So, what's so good about life? At any rate, we are here so try to make the best of it. A journey starts with a first step. Everyone is hiring, get a job if you don't have one and start saving money. Money is a tool, nothing else. It's a great insulator against all the shit.

[@anthonydanaher2146]

@@allysonhaynes2215 stay strong im in that same boat ❤❤

[@crissieroserose]

Bpd people cause so much hurt and destruction , they destroys others lives and take no responsibility for it ,

[@Portia620]

The real American problem and root of drugs and self destruction!!! 🙏😢

[@katantonia]

As someone with this disorder, I can assure that these sweet comments mean the absolute world to her. I’m in tears.

[@zistrongbimbo]

Same for me 🥺 May God bless you ✨

[@donkeykongsdad1312]

Straight up.. I’m tearing up after only a couple

[@wendi2819]

Ahhhh! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@staceybrewer9873]

@Homos R Perverts Against Nature what a sad, sad, little person you are.

[@shaftomite007]

We are WITH YOU, GRACE, ALL THE WAY... We ride/die for Grace! Not gonna even attempt to BS you, life can be like a scorned woman sometimes, seemingly working behind the scenes at an elaborate lifelong campaign of sabotage against you, undermining the very foundations you've worked so hard to establish.. Razing the memory palace of your imagined life to the ground, all your hopes and dreams as ethereal shapeless and intangible as so much combustible gas and they FLASH brightly as they burn, flaring in colorful pockets of wasted potential, and dramatically igniting some high energy pockets of hope, faith, idealism, justice, loyalty, humanity, truth, and love and these crystalized energies go gloriously into their violent annihilations POPPING & CRACKING like rifle reports and splashes of electric plaid and fractal paint... and the crazy psycho is stalking you relentlessly from behind, launching attacks from every blindspot in an exuberance of irrationality and seemingly personal hatred. But don't EVER take it personally. It's just the nature of the beast... Life is a bitch. You just have to make friends with her. Let humility and compassion be your guiding stars, and you won't ever be lost. Don't ever hate. There simply is no time for it. Life is barely long enough to cling on to the ones you love for a few brief moments, then it's OVER... there isn't a single moment you spare HATING on people because they're different from you, bc they're a different color or different religion or no religion or a different race or ethnicity or nationality or gender or sexual persuasion or ANY of that stuff. Never let your life be guided by hate, fear, or ignorance, disinformation, conspiracy theories, or more hate/fear/ignorance. Fuck em if they can't take a joke.

[@alexisfrancine4545]

As a person with mental health issues it’s super annoying to hear people be so surprised that someone like her is so well spoken/self aware . You can have severe mental health issues and still be a “functioning” adult with amazing vocabulary and so called normal behaviors MOST days. But it’s extremely hard to hide the fact that you are struggling to be normal when the anger, tears, job hopping, poor relationships keep popping up episodically and chronically.

[@kaitlynshoemaker8722]

This

[@907livin]

🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾💪🏾

[@BidenSucks2020]

The only people who don’t understand are those who haven’t had to live with mental disorders.

[@907livin]

@@BidenSucks2020 Your 100% correct.

[@dovestone_]

100 % 🙄

[@Red_Dragon_46]

The toughest part of having BPD is the deteriorating relationships around you that ultimately end, due to your condition. Everyday is a struggle. It’s absolutely draining. You constantly have to check yourself, every word, every action. It’s to the point that it’s inhumane to live like this. The number one comment from loved ones, is why do you get like that ? Why can’t you be calm and reasonable ? If only they knew it’s exactly like telling a wheelchair bound person, why are you sitting ? Why don’t you get up and walk ? Nobody will ever understand what it’s like to live like this.

[@yellowdressbookstore6602]

I understand my dear. This works for me but won't for all bpd's. I love to be alone. I have two best friends i see/ talk to no more than twice per week. At first it was painful to keep myself away due to my bpd but after a year: i still had a friend! The feeling of actually building a healthy friendship started to outweigh the sadness that creeps up of having to keep myself away alone 5 days a week. I see them only on my good days bc the fact is: i am too much. It is hard for a non bpd to handle me. My condition, as it is today, erodes friendships. But we are very close- from afar. I choose jobs that allow me to be alone 90% of the time. My manager says "wow youre always so upbeat" ... ya when you see me i am 😅. I have tried a million different expierements to see what works for me- half of them are ill advised by therapist but you can only fix crazy with a crazy idea- like only seeing friends once or twice a week. Here's my advice. Make a list of what you want. Then try out idea after idea after idea. After each failed idea figure out which pieces worked & which didn't. Its like putting together a puzzle. When you have enough pieces you'll figure out how to get what you want - or you'll find a happy medium. Just keep going! ♡♡♡

[@yellowdressbookstore6602]

For the draining bpd. I think of it like a basket. Every task. Every food. Every interaction. Everything a human does adds a ball into the basket. When the basket is full a person will feel drained. A person with borderline's basket will get full a lot faster. It's about knowing how to drain this basket. Some things we do will fill up the basket faster. Some things we do will fill up the basket slower. If i work a cashier job I'll be on the floor crying in 3 hours. Basket full. If i work a job alone in the corner with music i can work 4 days a week no problem. I have learned there are some things I simply cannot do because they fill up my basket too quickly and they are painful. I hate when ppl tell me- you can do anything. No bob. I can't. I have found if i give myself 2 hpurs to wake up and move slowly by basket doesn't fill up by noon and mentally i feel good. If i wake up and rush out the door in 5 minutes my basket fills up & i feel like shit all day. It's about figuring out what exactly makes your mind feel good and what creates suffering in your mind. Next is basket clearing. They are tasks or activities.We can do that will naturally clear out the basket throughout the day. If I go for a drive I feel that my basket has been drained by half and mentally I can do more. And i feel good. If my basket feels full , I will go on a ten minute drive to relieve the suffering. If I work a job that allows for me to listen to calming nature music- In a way I can clear out my basket as it fills up from working. I literally cannot work a job unless I can listen to nature sounds - Because I don't want to be mentally suffering after work. Yes having b p d is training. But if you can pinpoint exactly what causes you to feel drained - And what empties that drained feeling you can sculpt a life that feels good ♡♡♡

[@REwalker29]

i just give up caring anymore

[@yellowdressbookstore6602]

@@REwalker29 Understandable. Our journey is harder than most can ever imagine. ♡ Hugs ♡

[@Angela-gc2zc]

I relate

[@Veteranemo]

The addiction to isolation is the most debilitating part of the disorder. Being in my own head is an addiction in itself. Hopes and props to this girl. This isn’t easy.

[@toddinthemiddle]

nothing wrong with alone time. some people are fine with it. everyone's different.

[@907livin]

You explained the isolation part so well for us💜

[@shouygui4955]

@@toddinthemiddle Exactly, but if it wasn't seen as an illness, then there would be no money to be made off of, drugs "that make me feel like a zombie."

[@csnoww583]

@@toddinthemiddle there’s a difference between having alone time and isolation !

[@csnoww583]

@@907livin agreed

[@madisenladd3106]

As a 21 year old woman with BPD, this brought tears to my eyes. There’s people out there just like me. They understand.

[@MrsTessWren]

Lots of love to you on your journey. Be gentle with yourself and practice patience as much as possible🪷

[@GoodKarma509]

I bet your such a 😅

[@Glitteryflaps]

I understand you ❤

[@Destrucreation]

@@GoodKarma509bruh

[@fines158]

Me too

[@melissacampbell-carbajal9932]

I appreciate this representation of bpd. So many people with bpd are like her. Functioning, loving, productive, talented, career oriented but quietly suffering.

[@charlottetaylor4471]

How can you apply for jobs when you have no self-worth? I never understand that. I can't bring myself to apply for jobs because I'll get rejected and I'll fail.

[@carmincharen9980]

This is the mot relatable video I've ever seen on bpd.

[@christyrrell4104]

So relatable .. So damn relatable .. A true representation of what borderline can look like ..

[@spacegrass6632]

@@charlottetaylor4471 it took abject poverty for me.. apply or die

[@Findmylimit]

I wonder if this is what I have. People say I’m nice and have giving heart. But I feel like I’m not I feel like dying would be peaceful I feel like my mind is always against me. But I’ll put my self through hell just to help someone

[@KallieKitas]

"We do normal things but we don't feel normal" - as a fellow Borderliner, this really hit all the feels for me. Thank you for being so open about your struggles with BPD Grace. I can relate to everything you said. I wish you nothing but the best and success in life.

[@wendyaldana6786]

"People only love to the extent that they were taught" such a powerful statement.

[@jlllx]

It’s total bs.

[@comdrive3865]

@@jlllx go back to being the simple-minded contrarian you are, on twitter, where you belong lol.

[@jd980]

Total cope for people that can't love properly.

[@limitedtime5471]

There's only so much crap a person can take. From someone with bpd and npd siblings. Sadly life is better without them.

[@Alphacentauri819]

@@jlllxcan you please explain? I’m interested as someone who has studied attachment, epigentics, intergenerational trauma, neurobiological influences of trauma… Do tell

[@WeirdlyLizzie]

" I find people and try to fix them, because I can't fix myself " I got goose bumps from that. I understand and can relate to that Grace. Just remember that healing isn't always linear.

[@lolahernandez6871]

Ouf that was a strong one..I remember feeling constantly like I had to be needed, aka, a savior in some sort. I'll fix everything attitude. Thank God I'm so much better.

[@2005online]

gosh i relate to that so much

[@ochiorbus]

Yup, same here. It's malfunctioning way of self worth/love.

[@heedmydemands]

Yeah not linear it's more of a spiral. Sometimes u feel like u haven't got anywhere but it's like a parking garage, you're actually on the next floor. I don't know if that makes any sense. I might not be explaining it well

[@joshperry6700]

I hope to God people like that stay the f away from me for the rest of my life. So God damn creepy, it's unreal.

[@Emarie468]

She is a phenomenal representation of what BPD can look like. So many of us are the kindest most self aware people you’ll ever meet, we’ve just been hurt over and over. Sending love to this strong young woman.

[@skateranddancer]

Bpd is a very common misdiagnosis/comorbidity of autism in women. The criteria for diagnosis of autism was based around male presenting autism. Women are inherently better at masking and do so more often than men. If you haven’t already, please look up info about women on the spectrum! You may find you fit there as well

[@Thatdudewiththedogs]

@@skateranddancer whoa that’s pretty interesting. From a male with BPD

[@petakucas7389]

Absolutely. I knew I had something weird and the way she described this is spot on scary awesome

[@petakucas7389]

BPD is built on Trauma !! Over and over and over from zero to god knows when . It's so sad xxxxxxx

[@Lifewithchrist__]

I was thinking this, like we really are intelligent and have good minds and are very self aware, it’s the BPD that fucks us up makes us self sabotage ourselves. Who we were as kids does not need to be who we are as an adult.

[@luvisswhatt]

I have BPD too and was finally properly diagnosed about 8 years ago. It’s a hellish thing to have ~ the self loathing is awful. Relationships are nearly impossible to maintain and the constant fear of rejection makes it even worse. Being properly medicated has helped with a lot of my impulse control and anger issues. Hugs to this sweet young lady for sharing her story!

[@Zara-r5m1r]

If you don't mind, what are you taking? I can't find anything to help with my BPD medication wise.

[@aicilanais]

When she said “I do love life, I just hate myself” I couldn’t relate to anything more!

[@erwinsm10]

That sums it up , she is a poster for BPD .

[@chefboiardeeznutz9881]

Shit, I can agree with that

[@daphne1065]

ouch

[@spottiep80]

So accurate. Having BPD, I do love people but I can hate them too but I make it so. Life is a struggle full of love, emotions, and self-sabotage

[@zosoart]

I have BPD, and that is a good way of summarising it.

[@davidcampbell8975]

Thank you for your interview Grace. You have such an awareness of BPD. My wife took her own life 17 months ago at age 42 after battling BPD her entire life. She struggled with alcohol abuse which made her blowups extremely intense. She was never correctly diagnosed and hated taking medications. She was so smart and beautiful, yet she always talked about how much she hated herself and said "I want off this rock, I don't want to be here anymore". I never knew about BPD. I wish I had known more so I could have been more helpful. She worked really hard like you and was always saying how she didn't have any real friends. We separated several times but I loved her so much and never wanted to give up on her. She decided she just wanted to be alone in the end and I had to accept that. We still talked frequently but the self isolation made her extremely depressed and she in turn would drink more alcohol. It's been really hard knowing I will never see her again in this life. I still cry often. I've spent lots of time now researching BPD as learning more about it has really helped me understand why this happened. The way you explained your feelings was very similar to her when she would try to talk about it but she didn't know why. You do deserve to be happy and love life. You are a beautiful person and I wish you the very best!!!!!! Thank you!!!

[@krih8212]

Sorry for your Loss David, you are a good man being there for her and having such a good heart. Many blessings to you.

[@halliekanter4666]

Thank you for sharing this David, your wife was so lucky to have you

[@tylerb8032]

much love David. bless you Man.

[@moestokes]

My condolences David 💕 Wishing you the very best

[@angedxx]

I feel you're talking about my little sister😔 she passed last year😭

[@hitomigrace13]

I’m a therapist who works with clients diagnosed with BPD, and seeing this interview really hit me in my chest, for Grace and for my clients too. Learning how to live with BPD is so challenging, but it’s possible. Grace, your insight and the way you shared your story and experiences is so beautiful. You’re doing the work. Thank you for being vulnerable and letting us see you🤍

[@brettcordes3602]

How do most of your BPD clients present for treatment? Self-referral, from family, from the legal system (mandated to avoid a consequence)?

[@terywetherlow7970]

Hitomi: Why are people so afraid of being alone? I have enjoyed it most of my life. I I like doing my own thing, and always have. I have been in realtionships & raised kids. My kids are the only folks I would want to be around more. Others as a moment by moment event - once I have learned all I can from them I can go find others to learn from. I can't drag them all along anyway, right? I like me just the way I am,for the most part....I need new and fresh experiences and knowledge and pursue it. Tee

[@OSUBoxkator]

My dad has BPD and I don't talk to him anymore. Hearing this from someone who has BPD and seeing a therapist feel for them helps. I hate my father for all the times he tried to manipulate me and my family. At the same time, he's my father and I love him and miss him and feel pain for his loneliness. But I will never forgive him. Until this video I've felt only contempt towards BPD and anybody with it...I have no idea how to feel about him or the disorder after my experience.

[@DrJamesBWood]

@@terywetherlow7970 Im not a professional but think those with BPD are deeply insecure from past traumas, often abandonment.

[@colors6692]

You should know that no one is born with BPD like the interviewer said...glaringly ignorant statement to make!

[@karen1306]

You're such a smart and strong girl Grace. Holding it together and not giving in to substance and alcohol abuse to numb those intense emotions is so commendable!! And holding a job and being able to articulate all that you're going though at age 21, big pat on your back, giiiirlll!!

[@CherrySimss]

I've noticed that people with BPD/CPTSD are very self-aware and that's the first step to recovery/healing. This video is very relatable.

[@brunabodulica4245]

Yeah, borderlline personality disorder is a cluster B disorder, something completely opposite of CPTSD.

[@CherrySimss]

@@brunabodulica4245 I am aware! I have both CPTSD and BPD.

[@brunabodulica4245]

I am so sorry about that. I hope you can heal.

[@kyleschwartz.]

Pretty sure there is no healing BPD

[@CherrySimss]

@@kyleschwartz. There actually is! A lot of patients who get diagnosed early on get better!

[@preston6618]

I was engaged to a woman with BPD. I loved her very much. I wanted it to work so bad. I finally had to come to the realization that the polar extremes of her loving me to death, then at any moment, being triggered into hating me to death was just too much to bear. 80% of the time it was the best love I had ever known. The other 20% of the time, it was absolute hell on earth. That was yrs ago. Sometimes i feel like enduring it scared my own psychy. I still pray for her. I still resent father for making her that way.

[@comdrive3865]

As a BPD person, I'm sure she appreciated every bit of you, you're right her father was likely horribly misguided. The thing is that we are searching for answers that nobody has given to us, we have great aspirations. And we've been lied to too many times to accept anything less than what's authentic and real. this is part of the conundrum. What most will say will not suffice as an answer. Until we get answers and full closure we are ultimately not happy and not able to move on from past trauma. Though the right social frinedgroups greatly help us, though they seem harder to come by people who aren't totally fake.

[@TheMarcyFran]

Makes sense. It's no fun for us our loved ones. Trauma with a ripple effect. Painful.

[@whitejazz100]

How did she act when things were bad

[@paulettek8973]

It’s crazy , because we feel like we’re in hell 80% of the time and if we’re lucky we get the 20% of happiness from our loved ones. I hope you’re in much better situations now

[@heginschristianstrong7707]

My wife has BPD and bipolar 1. From what I understand its genetic, inherited. Not something her father brought out in her. If you feel any guilt for walking away, please don't. You're well being is very important and not everyone is built for that type of partner. Like not everyone is meant to be a doctor or a scientist etc.

[@philharris53]

The golden nugget of this interview is her statement to "let things go before they eat you". What a great way to get control and balance back. I thoroughly enjoyed this interview.

[@wonderbars36]

She's very smart to figure that out when she did. Wish I knew that at 21. Could've saved myself some grief lol. Hey but then again I wouldn't have learned what I did and be where I am now. Really good interview. I'd be friends with her. Everyone needs a friend. Alone is good but...sometimes that shit sucks.

[@shanaanderson527]

Psychedelic assisted therapy has been the best gift for BPD. It’s a total psyche reset. It shows you very quickly how to operate from a place of love instead of fear.

[@thingsnstuff85]

As a person with BPD, letting things go is wayyyyyyy easier said than done. My mind won’t let that happen until it’s thoroughly beaten up every fiber of my being

[@KittyKittyBangBang249]

@@thingsnstuff85 same here. I’m 52 and still can’t do it.

[@KittyKittyBangBang249]

@@shanaanderson527 I know this comment is old, but could you please tell me what you’re talking about. I would appreciate it so much. ❤️

[@alleyocheerio]

I was with someone who has BPD for a year and a half and it almost broke me entirely. I tried so hard and made all the effort to learn about the disorder and how to love him unconditionally but I had to draw the line and not let the abusive cycle take over. I still love him and pray for his well being everyday but I just couldn't endure the pain anymore. I had almost forgotten to be "normal" again.

[@zomgeek2236]

me too we were on and off for a year and a half and i cut contact with him in november. he hurt me so much but i still have hope that he will get better. i know its not anytime soon tho. i also tried everything but he ended up leaving first. stay strong u deserve someone who you can rely on and they will be ur safe place

[@spacepope87]

My gf has BPD and is Bi-Polar 2. It can be really tough on a man. I can only imagine how much worse it is for a woman having to deal with a man that has BPD.

[@donovanshepperd9209]

It’s hard for the person too. Not only you. He is his OWN enemy. I am still sorry for your pain.

[@youtubeepicuser4209]

@@donovanshepperd9209doesn’t matter. I’ll take a wild guess and say you have BPD, since you guys love being victims.

[@LowEnd_tesla]

Currently in a relationship with someone with bpd and bipolar 1 and it is TOUGH sometimes. I love her to death but it’s been a struggle lately.

[@pretendhuman]

I've spent my 40 years on this planet wondering what is wrong with me. It took 28 minutes for this brave young lady to show me I very likely have BPD. I'm a bit devastated, a bit relieved. Thank you so much for your honest interview. I will be seeking help this week. God bless you.

[@annm.4353]

Sending you love and strength 🕊

[@matteframe]

don't self diagnose... find a good doctor

[@delicious9930]

Lol its a spectrum

[@leahflower9924]

You often have to self diagnose the therapists don't figure it out half the time

[@kahyui2486]

@@matteframe do self diagnose. If you think you have the symptoms then you most likely have it and if you don't have it then u most likely have another MHD like PTSD or bi polar. Sorry but you have to understand many of us with BPD, originally self diagnosed and only then could we get clinically diagnosed. We are the ones that usually tell the Dr. Not the other way round. It's fine and sensible to self diagnos MH disorders. Physical health not so much but if you think you have a mental disorder then you most likely do. Ironically, this disorder is inflicted by invalidation, so instead of telling people 'DONT' do this and don't do that... Just don't say anything at all. You add no value. And sure, untill you're clinically diagnosed you can say "I have symptoms of BPD" instead of "I have BPD" but it makes literally no difference

[@rainrabbit9209]

"It's no one's responsibility to make me feel comfortable" powerful statement. Thank you Mark, for hosting BPD voices.

[@caseylayton4898]

Pronoun pretenders need a lesson on this.

[@tropicaoptica]

I have not listened to the video but this statement depends on the context and who is involved. Sometimes it is our responsibility.

[@vegangurly]

@@tropicaoptica why should we enable some mental illnesses and not others?

[@tropicaoptica]

@@vegangurly I don't think anyones mental illness should be enabled, but feelings can definitely always be validated, even if we don't agree or wouldn't react in the same way. But really I just mean in regards to say certain contexts, like it's a mans job to make a woman feel safe on a date, because she is more vulnerable. It's the same with a human and an animal, or an adult with a child. I haven't watched the video yet so I'm not sure the context in which she spoke that.

[@shaniquehenry1019]

Is Bpd bipolar disorder

[@fae5283]

"I wouldn't wish it on anybody" that hit hard. Living with BPD is hard. Constantly feeling so disconnected and unwanted by the people around you... And knowing that it's more often than not just your mind making it up. And "smothering" the people you really care about because you're so convinced it's true. Even when you are somewhat aware, a part of you knows you're being too much but you can't help it. You're not only suffocating them but yourself. Constant overwhelm. Constantly changing trying to be better, but only seeming to make it worse. Not understanding where your disorder starts and where YOU begin. On one hand, I am terrified of being alone. Unloved. Unwanted. But I have isolated myself so completely because in my mind, if no one gets close, I can't hurt them and I can't lose them. So I AM alone....

[@maxxinethewoopitcher]

You’re not alone in your isolation. I too, at 50, have decided to isolate…the lesser of many evils🙏🏿

[@J425LIVE]

I was married to a woman with borderline personality disorder for 7 years. On Dec 19 2019 she didn’t come home from work. She moved onto a rural property with people practicing polyamory. She never came back. i saw her to sign papers three weeks later. i was panicked i had so many things to say and i hadn’t seen her i was worried it sounds wierd but i was just so relieved in that moment that she was ok and in front of me. but she walked in and looked at me like she didn’t know me. I hugged her and said i was glad she was ok. she kinda looked down. she didn’t seem the same. like all of our context was gone. I said how sure were you that you wanted to do this. she said like 55%. she called me my full name which she’d never once done before. she showed zero emotion. not like game face. as in im just checking the mail no emotion. as in this is just whatever i’m doing at 10:35 am and at 10:45 my next task starts. that’s when it sunk in. i started crying i couldn’t talk anymore. i realized i was dead to her or that she didn’t remember me. i got a severe nosebleed at the and then i got dizzy and laid down. i had to bc the blood was pouring out of my face. and we signed the papers. she was totally unmoved. the only other thing she said to me was that the frames from our wedding pictures were still usable. As if that was important. I guess the implication being that the wedding pictures of us in Paris were worthless but maybe save the frames. That’s the last i heard from her after we’d spent every day together for 9 years. I was never mad at her just crushed. It’s terrifying to have your wife disappear even more so for her not to recognize you. I knew the people she’d moved in with it was a couple we knew. that had been suggesting we join a swingers club with them or engage in activities with them. I thought i’d chased them off. but they guy on her about it and they made me the villain. Not my ex but the other two. My wife just allowed it silently. and basically just started being the second wife of this other dude. I got dragged out of that town by my brother 25 days later just ahead of a prison bid or a dirt plot . i’d fought that guy three times and he’d shot at me twice during my multiple attempts to get on the acreage where she was. she had not said anything to me either way up until three weeks after she didn’t come home. so of course i was going to get to her and bring her home or die trying. he ended up filing a restraining order against me and i got arrested again on his property after that. like i cared about that shit. 200 person town tho the cops understood what was up and they let me off but said i had to leave town. I took a suitcase and my golden retriever from our brand new custom home. 5 bedrooms for the kids we were trying for. i noticed her curling iron was still plugged in her spare contacts still on the counter. she had not packed a single thing she went to work as the person i knew and i never saw that person again. the only thing id say critical of her is that BPD ppl are in the comments saying how bad it is for them. You still have free will. You can still choose to keep your word. Bc i guarantee that however bad she feels at her low points it was nothing compared to how i felt sitting by myself on christmas in that empty house. and also she shouldn’t have put me in a position where my life was forfeit that guy is dangerous he’s a combat veteran a marine there was no guarantee that i was going to survive. but no one was worried about that she’d checked off her commitments to me and left me fighting in the streets of this memory of a town a thousand miles from anyone who cared about me. i tried to hard i was too loyal to deserve that. I never speak ill of her i focused all my anger on the guy…the couple that’d convinced her to move in with them. I knew that they’d just ruined her life too. they don’t know about bpd but they will. but it’s not my concern anymore. neither of us can get back the years or effort we’d put into each other. i don’t know how she is i haven’t heard. our house was sold and rented out. she gave away our things. a life worth of stuff that fills up a home. even the pets i was coming back for. gone. she was supposed to leave me my ring. not her engagements ring i mean my ring that she gave me. i’d gone by her work and put it on her desk a couple days after she disappeared i knew her assistant was taking her things even tho she’d dropped off the grid to everyone without a word. in the note i asked her to hold it until we got things figured out. i told her that if she got scared or upset or if she disassociated and didn’t know where she was (i had no idea where she was even sleeping) she could just feel the ring and know somewhere i was out in the world and that i knew her and loved her. i guess she decided to keep it. i got no explanation. its been almost three years now and i still miss her. i miss her like i miss my grandma who passed away though. the person i knew doesn’t exist anymore. in closing the to the bpd folks 90% of the comments i read talk about how hard you’ve got it. maybe so. i get that part of the concept of disassociation is that you don’t feel connected. but that’s the thing. there’s a lot of times i don’t feel like keeping promises and obligations either. but i’m aware of the promises i’ve made. and so i make a choice. i guess as much as i apologize for my ex wife’s condition i still expected her to keep the promises she made to me. or at least talk to me about if if she wanted to not care about me anymore. i didn’t force her to marry me. paris was her dream. by the way here’s some of our wedding photos denvervideo.biz/real-weddings/youll-love-this-ultra-chic-destination-wedding-in-paris/

[@fae5283]

@@J425LIVE I kindly urge you to do more in depth research on BPD. I understand she hurt you and she broke promises and you're confused as to why it happened. I get it. But I also live with BPD, and I get her too.

[@J425LIVE]

@@fae5283 I’m not at all confused. I told my story so others can hear it. maybe i expect more from u than you expect from yourself but if you make a commitment i expect you to keep it. I think you’re capable of keeping your word or at least communicating if you decided to break it. It’s bullshit to defend sociopathic self gratifying behavior that puts other ppl in danger of death or imprisonment. Do you know how fxcked uo that is? to do that to the person who is taking care of you for like a decade and not even have a reason for it? no fight no warning no heads up as far as i know she’s abducted by aliens. well bc i mean what i say and bc i have genuine emotions im super obligated to tear the world down to the studs until i find my missing wife. she knew that. and i would’ve let her go if she’d even left a one sentence note. i never even raised my voice once and i never pursued her after she made this decision. i’ve reflected enough on things to know that i kept my word and i did what i promised and she just chose to stop caring about me. You’ll realize that that’s a lot different than choosing to get divorced or something. Ppl do that and still like recognize that the other person is a live. You know. Hey i wanna get divorced so don’t just think the cartel abducted me if i don’t see you after work. something like that. Im not wrong for believing that she meant what she said to me the first 2750 days we were together. id have been wrong not to trust her. So yeah it’s her fault for choosing dishonesty. It’s not BPDs fault. There are other ppl alive on this earth and I could’ve died bc she didn’t care enough to leave a note, or hell i could’ve spent that decade in someone who wasn’t gonna trash everything on a whim with no warning after 2700 straight days together. so what i’ve learned is there’s a whole lot of self entitlement and selfishness that is passed off by saying oh yeah well it’s not that i’m dishonest and selfish i just have this issue. yeah well so does everyone. too many excuses are made for you if you think you’re above reciprocity and basic decency and empathy. at the end of the day if you have free will and still choose a path of self gratifying, selfish, dishonest and nihilistic behavior then that’s not a condition that’s a character defect. society has a code to it and you’re not supposed to just use it to get what you want and then ignore it when it requires something of you bc of commitments voluntarily made. don’t use your condition as a crutch or on the other hand if it absolutely bars you from ever being dependable? ok then don’t drag non BPD ppl into your lives just get an island and betray each other over and over.

[@fae5283]

@@J425LIVE yikes. You did several things wrong in this reply. First off, you looped everyone with BPD into one big group. We're not all the same. We don't all act the same or present in the same ways. Second, you assumed by my response that I would do the same if put into her situation. Again, looping me into this generalized BPD behavior group. Third, instead of attacking a genuine nonthreatening response like mine, maybe reflect a bit. Maybe start asking some hard inner questions so that you can move forward. I'm not your wife. I was never justifying your wife's actions by using BPD as a crutch. I said I understand. And I do. Have a nice life.

[@samanthachildress1091]

She’s so self aware. Im 36 thinking it’s time for me to get this diagnosis and literally had no clue that this could be what I may have until the last few years. Wise young lady who will go far despite her struggles ❤

[@AllTaxisRYellow]

Doctors don’t ever give it to you even if it’s painted in red letters

[@SingularityFe]

People with BPD are very self aware

[@iheartshaneandjeffree]

I have severe BPD and it makes my life absolutely miserable. This video made me feel so heard. Thank you

[@rubytuesday7653]

❇️🌻❇️

[@jlllx]

Why continue? Makes no sense

[@iheartshaneandjeffree]

@@jlllx go play in traffic

[@HeadNtheClouds]

Like Amber heard? Slap some Amica cream on it 🫡

[@danh9905]

I have it too, but over the years I have managed to get it more under control. The best thing I ever did was get a dog. I can spend time with her without the intricacies and pitfalls of human relationships. For me, the best way I can describe my BPD is that I hate people, yet can't be happy without them.

[@dwade6322]

I dated a woman with this disorder. Just because you may not understand it,doesn't mean it's not a reality. Have compassion . ❤️

[@tyhall7330]

Must have been hell. Glad you're out of there.

[@dwade6322]

@@tyhall7330 for the longest time i had no idea it was a 'disorder'..many of us just call someone 'crazy' and go about our day,but many times there is a valid explanation behind the behavior that we see.

[@loyalist.city.g]

It's bs

[@camcom76]

It's a reality. But I can tell you most people with this disorder never change. My mother has it. Same old thing over and over again her entire life.

[@randomdude5938]

@@loyalist.city.g thanks doctor.

[@arreslee8740]

No blame game, no excuses, no rampant substance abuse apparent, the girl works for a living. She seems to understand the consequences of her disorder even if she can not control the symptoms all of the time. This is great content. It could be a real help to people (mostly young women have dpd) struggling with issues such as relationships, dependency, distance and close-ness. Thank you grace.

[@churchitnaib5577]

Being diagnosed with BPD at 29 and ADHD at 30 as a man, this video is so accurate. Thank you for being the voice of so many of us and being brave enough to represent people with mental health issues. I broke down watching this. From self-image and relationship issues to having major issues at work and simultaneously not being able to focus on anything and jumping from one thing to another, these issues are real and no meds can help. As you mentioned, meds can only help with few symptoms but only talk therapy and DBT will help eventually. I am yet to see the results of these. I too love life, just not myself. However not existing is much easier than existing with BPD. I also know I am a fighter so not existing is out of the question.

[@happyday8280]

How these young girls and men manage to survive and cope after such awful childhoods is beyond comprehension. Stay well And safe .. sending you a gentle hug Xx

[@runninbyfaith777]

We need a firm solid grounding hug

[@catherinethorpe4717]

We survive but never reach true potential.or feel free. Bpd folks are so expecting to be hurt or abused they are on guard waiting for a sign so they can go into attack mode. Often an offence hasn't even happened to us but in our head there's been a massive violation. I don't think she remembers much of her early years so is claiming it's genetics, my experience is most bpd sufferers have had traumatic childhoods.

[@kellybowden1233]

I have NEVER heard BPD explained so well - so thoroughly, accurately, and in a way that doesn’t over-dramatize it. Grace, I hear u. Every word. I so hear u. I just forwarded to the people in my life who I love so hard and who don’t really get it. And who I have pushed so far that they don’t even have the patience to listen to my words anymore. U may just end up being my saving Grace! I wish I had had a better handle on it at ur age. I have a infinite hope for u!! Thank you!!!

[@KittyKittyBangBang249]

Kelly, I just saw this video and I feel the exact same way as you. I’m 52 and wouldn’t be able to explain it this well to anybody. In fact, not even close. Take care!!

[@ricasbloggingtells1076]

Yeah, I’ve never related to someone with bpd so hard. All of the Facebook groups I’ve joined are all so toxic and dramatic and they coddle each other but she’s so self aware. She’s exactly like me and idk what’s worse, not knowing, or knowing and being unable to stop. I think knowing is worse.

[@lailalo9484]

Broke my heart when she said “feeling so unwanted is so common for me.” When your very FIRST relationship as a human being is tumultuous and filled with adversity - as hers was…these are the repercussions you have to navigate in adulthood. I am SO sorry you didn’t not have access to a loving home and stable nurturing parents as a child. 💔 we must re-parent ourselves now. That’s the only option we got left. It’s possible my love ❤ heaps of love to this beautiful girl❤ Xo

[@Aah588]

I have Bpd. I was diagnosed at a later age. But when I look back at my teenage years and early twenties it was the worst especially anger outbursts, moodiness and depressive episodes. As I got older in my mid twenties it became more inwards than outwards. The battles and issues were in my head more. Rather than exploding I just internalize everything even anger. Three things that really help me deal with it now are just being aware of it and my feeling about anything. The other is being aware of overthinking and tackling it right away also talking about it out load ( with myself ) helps. The last two things are working out almost everyday and just taking some time alone. I hope this helps someone. Please never give up, keep going, fighting and seek help when you need . Good luck

[@Pushrod_Criff]

When she said “I don’t fell like anybody is really my friend” That shit hit so hard. I deal with the feeling like people don’t want me around or just tolerate me which I know deep down isn’t true, but I still think it. It’s tough.

[@specialk1627]

Same, hugs my friend 💞💞💞

[@tiffanystephens4785]

I agree 100%

[@thingsnstuff85]

I feel like I KNOW that people tolerate me instead of liking me, that’s what’s maddening. Or I convince myself that they’re in it for some form of gain and even without a specific suspicion, i door slam them

[@WretchedIcon]

This comment section are my people. Thank you for making me feel less alone.

[@amyblack1052]

,same...but I know noone wants me around

[@jessicav2709]

Bpd isn't genetically inherited, it's a result of severe childhood trauma, it just seems inherited because generational trauma tends to repeat itself

[@martinkingston1498]

Yup. Really dysfunctional environments will almost inevitably produce more damaged people, unless the dysfunctionality is actually acknowledged and overcome. So what is often believed to be a genetically determined predisposition is just embedded behavioural patterns repeating themselves, which usually manifest as relationship difficulties, personality problems, substance abuse, and sometimes trouble with criminal activity. Happily, these issues can be faced, but very often there is huge resistance WITHIN the family unit to even accepting that there is a problem. Sometimes the only healthy thing you can do is get away ( if change won't take place). Resigning yourself to an environment like this is NOT an option.

[@sammauldin1402]

There are genes that result in different responses to trauma.

[@silversurfermusicco5263]

Yes i would agree with that

[@southwestxnorthwest]

It’s not so simple. Environment plays a major part in it, but people who have BPD are often predisposed to it from genetics, like alcoholism.

[@nicolejenkins2609]

Reactive attachment disorder. This can coexist with BPD. The lack of a loving, nurturing, safe environment birth-5 years old will affect your ability to emotionally attach in adulthood, it is possible to address. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you work through self-sabotaging behaviors.

[@tinamunoz6752]

As someone with bpd and adhd, it blows my mind that not everyone feels this way.

[@xy4489]

It sounds normal, tbh.

[@iLilith11]

​@@xy4489 it's only normal to you! YOU ARE SICK 🤬

[@sophiekempster948]

I'm BPD ADHD and so many people comment on how absolutely obscure my mind is I feel all these emotions so hard and the littlest things can trigger me so easily and they can be so insignificant but feel so catastrophic to me is so fing hard

[@stornkolson]

Yeah, it's really tough to try and get along at work and take care of yourself all the time. Given up on family, girls and most of my close friends aren't around anymore. Also, I can relate about the medication. I tried a bunch of different ones and they all just spaced me out too much

[@henndawg42069]

​@@sophiekempster948yep 100% to a T. Wish I could make it all go away sometimes

[@mizzlynzz]

Her ability to analyze herself, past and present and how living with BPD impacts it all is truly impressive. Im so glad she opened up like she did and on a platform like this.... I hope she goes on to keep sharing and maybe even be a counselor or speaker one day ...but above all this raw sharing /analyzing ones own mental illness etc...is so inspirational.. thank u sweetheart, youre golden✨

[@BlossomSan]

I’m 23 and also have BPD. The way she describes BPD is incredibly accurate. My own thoughts, the catastrophizing, the ruminating, the helplessness takes a hold of my life. I am going to therapy, but it’s still difficult to navigate. I’m still learning.

[@littlelily4]

I think I have bpd I've noticed I suffer from depression from time to time and the symptoms appear when I'm depressed, when I'm not they disappear Can it be caused by depression ? Or the thoughts create depression ? I need to educate myself on the topic

[@samanthaharrington8713]

"People can only love to the extent that they've been taught...." Absolutely beautiful and spot on!!!!

[@victorhughgo2376]

from there going forward they have to teach themselves and learn.

[@lizabree]

So smart.

[@KarinKarin]

Neah at all

[@maryjohnson4670]

Yes that was an impinphany to hear . It was so insightful for me

[@virginiastrother4098]

People can only love to the extent that they have been loved…

[@packzilla]

I am a 23 yr old male with BPD and I cannot speak my praise highly enough for her sharing her story. This is by far the most accurate, relatable and raw account of someone's personal BPD experience. Stories like this need to be told and shared more often. Things like this help other people struggling with BPD get their loved ones to understand the pain of their experience and make sense of actions both in the past and present. I hope everyone with BPD finds someone whom takes the time and care to truly understand the people that are unlucky enough to deal with this disorder. Like she said, would not wish it on anyone, but I hope everyone with BPD realizes there are people out there capable of loving you, with everything you come with. And there are things about us that make us more sensitive and attentive to very important cues in personal relationships. Things that make us love deeply, care deeply. And I hope the people with enough awareness to see those thing also realize that these great qualities aren't solely rooted in fear of abandonment. The love, the care, the positives are rooted in the person we wish we could be if we did not have BPD. This video was amazing. Wish I had friends like her to relate to!

[@Thatdudewiththedogs]

Im a 27 year old male with BPD, glad I’m not alone, because it honestly feels like it’s only females with BPD, and that makes it hard to relate. Us males are supposed to be strong and emotionally solid, and BPD makes us the opposite. We’re like the opposite of what society desires. I will say, as I’ve gotten older, the BPD gets less and less serious for whatever reason. You learn your triggers and how to avoid them, and your brain just sort of… matures. I still have breakdowns all the time, but the seriousness and the length of the breakdowns have significantly shortened. Also romantic relationships I think are not healthy until you are mentally solid enough to enter one. I’m sure you know all of this, just personal tips from someone a little older whose been through it. 👍 there’s like not much info on BPD really and not much science behind it, I think it’s important to share what we can with each other.

[@hulalula8933]

I loved my BPD bf and twith everything i had, tried to understand him to no avail and still he pushed me away violently

[@oscarmottershead8166]

22 yr old male with bpd, i feel the same way man

[@oscarmottershead8166]

@@hulalula8933 i was that guy, hated myself for it. Im sorry that happened to you

[@Thatdudewiththedogs]

@@hulalula8933 see comments like this kind of just make the stigma that much worse. Do you think your boyfriend wanted to violently push you away? Or do you think he maybe was having a mental health crisis and needs professional, medical help? That’s a huge problem with BPD. We’re just labeled as violent or crazy when we’re just reacting to what our brain is telling us to do. Your boyfriend was probably in more pain emotionally than you could ever fathom.

[@actionboy3221]

“I’m most afraid of ending up alone… because I’m a very hard person to deal with” 16:00 I hope Grace sees this but either way, that part hit me hard. Im sorry you feel that, but I’m really grateful you said it. I’m afraid of this every single day. I can’t stop thinking about the future and how I’ll probably be alone. And I don’t know if that’s a rare feeling, or if people just don’t admit it often. This interview is the first time I’ve heard someone besides me say those words. I don’t have BPD but I have other mental health diagnoses, and life challenges. Those things make me hard to deal with. I’m usually a burden to most people that care about me. So again Grace, thank you for sharing that. It helps me feel a little less lonely. I hope neither of us end up alone in the end. And if you need one, I’ll totally be your friend 😊

[@SpecsAppeal]

I know people twice her age that don't understand themselves half as well as this young woman. She has done much introspection and is so mature and articulate and honest with herself. I'm in awe of her insight. She has the intelligence and heart to help so many people, including herself. She's using this disorder as a tool to understand why she behaves & feels a certain way instead of a excuse to lash out and escape via substances, even after such a hard start in life. I wish I had this kind of courage. Such an inspiration.

[@xoemilee99]

Most people with BPD like myself are very mature for our age due to the trauma that caused BPD which is why medication does heal us people with BPD but only EMDR and/or CBT therapy will help us.

[@SpecsAppeal]

@@xoemilee99 OK, I didn't realize that it could be more an effect of trauma, like my CPTSD. That helps understand it more, for me. Thank you 😊I just started EMDR, I felt a bit better I think even after only 2 sessions. Maybe wishful thinking but I'll take it. I think a lot of people confuse BPD with bi-polar, much like they confuse CPTSD with BPD. I have a degree in behavioral science, but things progress quickly as we learn more, and it just fascinates me. The reason we behave and feel, it's so useful to understand ourselves, and interact with others, IMHO. We all seem to have our own nuances, some just more stigmatized than others I think. Thanks for being brave enough to help us all understand more.

[@sinsinnomore5555]

@@xoemilee99 how can medication help when ph arma just revealed it's a placebo. She even says doctors gave her serotonin for stating she feels, not because anybody ever tests for it being 'too low'...so getting dry mouth as a "side effect" and getting to brag about how many syndromes inflict y'all is all anyone is _actually_ doing for these disorders. Do you really think her life story is uniquely terrible...no, it's not. Many of our grandparents survived occupation and war torn villages.....not focusing on yourself is a good way to prevent anxiety. Get hobbies, focus on a career, if you are bored its because you are boring, and nobody wants to hear your owes and talk about meds like an old geezer...this disorder is called being an adult, so grow up

[@kyla6538]

@@SpecsAppeal No it is not just wishful thinking! EMDR is an AMAZING therapy and can help immediately. It will take more sessions than 2 to get where you want to be but you can absolutely be feeling improvement already. Keep it up, keep doing the sessions, sometimes it can get a little harder before it fully gets better because moving those hurtful memories from one side of your brain over to the other where you can process and let go of it can be mentally tiring, so it might seem like you aren't making progress or maybe struggling a bit, but I promise if you keep going it will be worth it and it does work. Its incredible!!

[@seomii1605]

Very well said, I agree 100% with every statement.

[@CuteCatsofIstanbul]

'When I love you, it's easier for me to show you my bad side'- so well defined. That is true for everyone but when dealing with BPD, it is so much more intense because our minds are so intense, our feelings are so intense. I'm in my 40's and have been single for many years: I have accepted that being single for me is the best way to go. I focus on a few close friendships, close relatives, enjoying my time alone, living a pretty simple life (because my mind is always out there traveling and going on adventures anyways!) and most importantly spending time with animals. Rescuing animals, animal rights activism keeps me going, keeps me 'sane' in this insane world. I did not have the insight Grace had when I was her age; the stigma was huge as well, but Grace seems so in her element, so self-aware ... I truly wish her all the best - you are an amazing being, never forget that!

[@laurashipp447]

Your comment is very well said!! Thank you! Be blessed!!

[@arreola891]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/g56TlI15jt-Lnbc

[@rillettesdumains2425]

Same here, I find a relief with dogs and plants. Humans only hurt me cause I am too sensitive for this species.

[@RawOlympia]

animals are so key, animals and nature! You are awesome.

[@kalynsnewloves]

I'm almost 30 and just coming to the realization that being alone and loneliness are not the same thing. BPD has helped me cause a shit fest of relationships and friendships that I've single-handedly destroyed throughout the years. Now being able to focus solely on myself and things I enjoy has brought so much positivity to what seemed like guaranteed doom. I'm so glad you're able to enjoy life for what it is, even if your mind still travels afar sometimes.

[@davemorrill2490]

I'm a male with BPD and she described this disorder very well. I've been called narcissistic at times because it seems to everyone else that it may look easy for me to drop people out of my life but what they do not see is the hurt it causes me as well. I don't like being this way I don't like jumping from person to person and going after people who I think I can fix. It's a roller coaster.

[@lustfulauricthirst3111]

Haven't finished watching much of the video but I relate to your comment so much

[@delicious9930]

Lol maybe it’s a bit of both

[@thingsnstuff85]

Yeah I’m a dude that has it too and self sabotage and fear of failure are two of my biggest traits. How contradictory they are. I create what I fear. FML

[@termikesmike]

@@thingsnstuff85 RE " self sabotage and fear of failure are two of my biggest traits. How contradictory they are. I create what I fear " Did you 'create this' ? What do you think actually 'caused this' ? Were your parents wonderful church going , happy, solid intelligent folks with good friends and relatives ?

[@BPDCommunity]

bless u hun, here if you need to chat 💜

[@jacquelinemartin7966]

This interview brought me to tears. I was recently diagnosed with BPD and Grace explained my everyday struggle with this disorder so clear and eloquently. I am so misunderstood and feel weird all the time- like i dont fit in. This interview was comforting as i dont feel alone anymore, Thank you Grace!

[@mikeshelton8920]

Hello young lady, I am a sixty seven year old man who was diagnosed as having BPD (with paranoid traits) along with a duel diagnosis of alcoholism/drug addiction. Been clean and sober now for fourteen wonderful years. As you have experienced, I was extremely sensitive to the remarks and actions of other people, extremely so. I was a very angry person and my reactions to rude strangers even scared me on occason. Sometimes after a 12 step meeting I would come home just seething at (my interpretation) of what someone had said. Then gradually I learned to challenge my interpretations. I accepted the fact my brain was screwed up so why not ask the person from whom I'd taken offense? Not to hard they were all my 12 step brothers and sisters. It worked wonders. Then I began to carry this new found skill (carefully) out into the rest of my life. The result was ninety nine percent fewer resentments and a much more enjoyable life experience.

[@ti1286]

This is brilliant. What exactly do you mean by “why not ask the person from whom you’ve taken the offence”?

[@stephm5722]

"the best times for me are when i'm alone" FELT. i hope this woman is well, she speaks SO clearly about these feelings that so many people experience. if you relate to this you aren't alone

[@neonnv1139]

I feel the same way. I’m a mother and I do my best. But it’s hard. All I want to do is be alone in my bed with the light off. But I have to up, surrounded by my sweet babies in the sunlight. I have to be completely selfless bc what I want will only hurt them

[@emilyaandersonn]

I've never commented on a KZbin video before, but I just had to comment on this because this woman put into words exactly how I have felt for years. Word for word described everything, from feeling so intensely, to ruining relationships, letting little things anger you, wanting to be alone, all of it. I am baffled at the way Grace is so aware of her behavior and reasons behind them, it's amazing and this made me understand myself better and know that I am not alone. Thank you.

[@pretendhuman]

God bless you, Emily. You are not alone. ❤️

[@laurenmichelle4253]

Yes I am very surprised that she's figured this much out at only 20 years old. I'm 33 and in the same spot just now learning to identify and understand.

[@southerndiscomfort2412]

@@laurenmichelle4253 She has the 'therapy outlook/mask/insights'... a way of looking (or saying that is how she is looking) at life that only comes with years of therapy.

[@MKCPNJ]

@@laurenmichelle4253 55 and just figuring it out. If I knew what Grace knows at age 21 ... Best of luck to you! Lauren.

[@amandateague8763]

@@MKCPNJ yes right!! She super clever and has a great grasp and understanding that I’m still clueless on at 38 the work think so real I’m a workaholic Hard worker dunno why not good at life lol

[@kathleeneldredge6056]

Her awareness at age 21 is astounding. I am 32 and only just learned I have this disorder and that relationships are incredibly difficult for me. I wish I was this aware at 21, but I was so deep in trying to escape the pain through drugs and alcohol, I had no room for awareness. I'm grieving the last 10 years I lost to addiction and praying I can continue my growth. Thank you for sharing her story.

[@CarmenGutierrez-p8d]

I see bright things for you. Stay strong and feel those feels ! 🔆 ❤

[@alexeimuravsky]

"I try and find people and fix them, because I can't fix myself." That line hit me hard "People can only love to the extent that they have been taught."

[@SingSirenMae]

I 100% related to that too..

[@mexican_wbc9946]

So is that like if your parents always tried to “fix” you or you tried to fix ur parents?

[@iamanempoweredone6064]

Yes. Love is a choice. We learn how to.

[@maliahjoy2959]

Same

[@hgg795]

I feel like I wanna love more than I can ever say or do ..its frustrating

[@princesskenny5270]

Isolation is the only way I can cope with having BPD. When you cut out everyone in your life, including the people that love you and who you love, it becomes emotionally manageable to live. If you can call that living.

[@zoooejenkins]

You’re absolutely right. Loneliness hurts, but feels like the safest option.!

[@diemcarl5546]

True. Sucks

[@deborahbain9915]

I'm the same

[@thingsnstuff85]

Fucking same. I want to be alone soooo bad but can’t afford it.

[@Fernando-jy6gq]

Why though?

[@gracemurrayart]

I also have BPD, the splitting element has always been the hardest to deal with for me. It's like night/day and it can be triggered by the most stupid things. Well done for speaking up about this massively stigmatised condition, Grace ❤

[@vinniep9562]

Repairing relationships after a splitting episode is so d*mn hard. I've found that for me, not having people in my life means I don't split anymore, and more Importantly, no one is affected by my splitting.

[@tommyreusse3858]

I wish you could tell me more :( I know this girl who really really likes me but every time we get too close she can BLOW UP over the smallest things that wouldnt mean anything to her if someone else did it. Mind you not actual bad events. Like it could just be a word i use or something i say to someone else, that somehow shatters her entire image of me. For apparently no reason. And then she blocks me for 2 months and then we go back to normal...for a while. till it happens again. I hurts me to hurt her like that, but at the same time im really not doing anything than supporting and loving her. (not simping)

[@gracemurrayart]

@@tommyreusse3858 While I can relate to her, this sounds like a really toxic cycle for you. You won't be able to make her see differently unless she realises the issue herself and gets therapy. It's the only way unfortunately.. I'm much more aware of my actions after intense therapy for BPD and have learnt the skills to minimise the impact of my behaviour on others. It really is like a split from reality sometimes and it takes a deep dive into traumas etc to be able to see things differently.

[@tommyreusse3858]

@@gracemurrayart Thank you for the reply! i was about to ask if there is anything i could do different...But i guess not really. Which makes me sad because i know she wants me in her life too.

[@treyboy27]

Mindfulness..sounds cheesy but it helps so much with splitting

[@truecynic1270]

I was just diagnosed with this disorder..........................people with THIS disorder have so many variables and manifested behaviours but we ALL ultimately emotionally feel the same way ......................wow............personally I was very surprised because I've lived a lifetime carrying this rock on my back.every second of the way...and couldn't get rid of it. I'd like to mention that I am now a senior.....................and my life path has been self-destructive but in the moments that I had to step up to the plate, I did it. Apparently, at this point, because of health issues, my wonderful dog will outlive me.

[@christinaheagy4602]

🫂 (((hugs)))

[@Jenny0U812]

❤️🙏🏻

[@maisymayhem]

I just want to say that even if you've been diagnosed with BPD it is one of the few mental health disorders that can go into remission with the right tools and support. You've got this 🥰

[@truecynic1270]

@@maisymayhem You're a sweetheart. It's wonderful to know that there are people out there who really understand.

[@jackj.3217]

I hope you can take strength from Grace's story. Carrying such a heavy rock on your back must be so strenuous. Can you imagine chipping away at this rock little by little to where it may feel somewhat less burdensome over time? I love that you love your dog. My faithful cats and dogs actually helped me lessen my felt burdens at different times. I'm much older than you. No BPD, but suffered deep personal losses at much too young an age. In your words, I hear a good soul with real inner strength. I send warm wishes and hopefullness to you!

[@laraanderson9753]

I can’t stop watching this because it’s comforting to hear someone else talk about bpd this way. You are so strong

[@shamelesssheamis545]

I have BPD and I’m terrified to watch this. Adoption trauma is the source of my BPD. I am 36 and at about 32 I started majorly working on myself and I’m almost in remission. A lot of people “grow out of it” with age and hard work. I don’t think I ever thought it possible but here we are. Sending positive vibes and lots of love to all the BPD sufferers out there

[@thingsnstuff85]

I think my world royally got shaken to the core when I found out my adoptive dad wasn’t my real dad and that my mom was leaving him at 10 years old. It just felt like my own personal earthquake. And I don’t understand why it jacked me up so much because he was very abusive to me because of my bed wetting. He was nothing to miss

[@southwestxnorthwest]

I wouldnt hedge too much of your adoption trauma on your diagnosis; that more likely contributed to the development of BPD but its more likely than not something that developed organically or by brain structure. I'm someone who deals with this myself.

[@Gromobran]

Yes with some calm way of living, having stabile home and people around you, you’ll overcome it after 40s. It will be time when you’ll hate people, having emotions you against the world, but every time you’ll know its the illness and that feeling goes Away very quickly. Good luck!

[@lesileeflynn7244]

You stay positive @ShamelessSheamis

[@stevieandsara]

Wait what. There's recovery?

[@hwy1310]

I was in a 5 year relationship with someone who has this, it’s like living on a roller coaster. I love her still today, but I was emotionally abused. This disorder is real. Much compassion to this young lady, I hope she finds peace one day.

[@francissynergia7385]

Im dealing with this right now. Crying every fucking day...unreasonable demands for attention... im losing my mind. I straight up attacked her last night after returning from my second “walk.”

[@hwy1310]

@@francissynergia7385 it’s horrible….I’ve been right where you are.

[@amc-myrealinitials6415]

@@francissynergia7385 attacked?

[@francissynergia7385]

@@amc-myrealinitials6415 yeah i lunged at her on the couch

[@michaeljames4904]

@@francissynergia7385 You’re lucky you were able to walk. Run. It will only get worse. Her disorder is not your fault neither is it your responsibility.

[@DireWolf28]

I dated a girl with bpd for almost a year. It was one of the most horrible experiences of my life and has left me with deep scars. I do feel deep sympathy for those struggling with bpd but would never want to have one close to me ever again.

[@JustDatBoi]

They lie like it’s their job too (bpd people).

[@peytongal]

yeah that is totally valid; those with bpd can do very harmful things (their disorder isn't EVER an excuse for that), and you don't have to put up with it whatsoever. With all that being said, if the person gets therapy and learns to manage their disorder they can totally make for great partners and can go on to live pretty normal and successful lives. Not everyone is equipped to deal with people with bpd so you are totally valid in never wanting to even be around someone with the disorder ever again, but I just want to let you know that not everyone is like your ex. I just wanted to get this out there because I feel like your comment could potentially make someone with bpd upset, so if you have bpd, I'm here for you. You can't control that you have this disorder, so don't let people like this guys ex make you feel like you're a bad person or like you did something wrong. No disrespect to you direwolf28 I just wanted to spread some information I thought could potentially be useful or help :)

[@peytongal]

@@JustDatBoi Yeah, they can do that unfortunately, but its important to remember it seems that people with bpd don't lie or manipulate because they like it or because they have malicious; ulterior motives, but seems to stim from their intense fear of abandonment and rejection. Though it may seem like they are manipulating or lying to you they aren't. They truly believe you will leave them and it is one of the most painful feelings in the world. Yes, technically speaking, according to the definition of the word 'manipulation,' what those with BPD do is manipulation. However, it's important to recognize why they do it and work to find solutions. It is possible to get help and almost put an end to this "lying like its their job" altogether. Once again same thing with my reply to @direwolf28 I just wanted to put this information out there because I think it could potentially help someone. No disrespect to you at all :)

[@assplundah]

100%!!

[@unmaskscience111]

It's 100% demonic, you met the devil IRL

[@ceciliasmith4455]

My brother had BPD. I wish those suffering with it know that we love them so much. This is a heart-breaking disorder, and it robs you of the most beautiful feelings. I always thought my brother hated me. I'm glad to know that my brother loved me as best as him mind allowed it.

[@atheistangel]

I can not express how much I appreciate this. Its hard to get others to understand how BPD effects our lives, this couldn't be more spot on. Hearing someone else describe how my head works provides a great sense of relief, that, that loneliness is maybe not so lonely. Thank you!

[@queenunique1954]

I really feel this

[@meawesome1651]

You are not alone 😏

[@phoenixzappa7366]

Never date a girl with BPD. I learnt that lesson.

[@greggearin7940]

All these emotions and feelings. Are the exact way I feel. I've never been to a psychiatrist or anything. I'm 29 and cannot keep a relationship past 3-5 years. I end up pushing them away when they got too close or something. Same with new friends, they don't feel like friends. It feels like I can't trust anyone fully past a point. I get mad over nothing really anymore. No guidance for me, just out here trying to do this on my own. I also have a year and half old daughter ❤️

[@svjmassage]

@@phoenixzappa7366 I wouldnt say never date someone with bpd. I dated a female with bpd/npd one of hardest lessons I went through in my life but actually it was a gift to deeply heal and grow spiritually.

[@Wordsandbirdss]

As someone who struggles everyday with BPD, this had me crying. It’s so reassuring to have someone put into words what I feel. Thank you.

[@unmaskscience111]

Sage for the BPD BRAIN- CURES SUICIDIALITY " Our Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from Evil for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory now and ever unto ages of ages Amen" 🙏 Rinse, repeat

[@Pusfilth]

What if this woman is just lying?

[@UPTAUT]

My wife was a good woman. I loved her very much. I knew about her trauma but I was not informed. She drove me away, and after a decade, we divorced. Only after did she get her diagnosis of BPD and bipolar. I definitely had my part in it, but knowing now what I do. We never stood a chance. I used to think I wasn't enough, but now, unfortunately, I know I was never going to be enough.

[@Uncaged_cricket]

This young woman is so self aware! I have never heard anyone speak so succinctly about BPD

[@deborahgrace5969]

There are many self awares on tiktok and KZbin, even with aspd, bpd and npd.

[@kaylaisrad]

i have bpd and im very self aware, my therapist says self aware people with bpd have the best chance of recovery

[@nostralgia3203]

people with BPD are overly self aware, i'd even go as far to say that it might even be the main issue of bpd, just being aware of well.. everything..

[@SoupyGal]

That’s definitely the BPD. It makes us more self aware than other people I think

[@lukepace1253]

Also extremely self aware and have bpd. Don’t have the ability to articulate how I feel the way she does. She’s great no doubt a special person

[@justvisiting4141]

The younger generation is so much more accepting and knowledgeable about mental health. I grew up in a generation where there was a negative stigma associated with mental illness. It was viewed as weakness and swept under the rug. I so admire that in them.

[@toddinthemiddle]

the younger generation loves to extrapolate nothing into some kind of ridiculous non-reality. they're like woke, retarded columbos.

[@JohnSmith-su3ze]

Has it occurred to you that modern society and the way we live in the 21st century is producing mental illness?

[@ghagzor]

Yeah I'm 31 and fucked up just now trying to lead a "normal" life

[@tyrone-tydavis5858]

Young people haven't had to deal with the ramifications for an extended period of time.

[@oliviamartini9700]

Unfortunately, the dark side is that the world is now full of perpetual victims and snowflakes.

[@MissGreenEyesss]

“I’m a very hard person to deal with” I felt that to my gut. I feel for this young woman, and I’m rooting for you sister. I’m wishing you the best now and in your future, you have so much ahead of you. Look at you, on here sharing a strong story to the world. So proud of you for stepping into saying this Grace. Bless you and sending prayers ❤️

[@LuceoNonUro86]

“I love life, I just don’t love myself.” Wow. That hit deep. (Warning: overshare/info dump incoming. Possible TW..🚨) I also have been diagnosed with bpd. Watching/listening to this young woman speak on our shared disorder really struck a chord with me. Living with borderline truly is like riding a rollercoaster. There have been days where I wake up feeling great but when I get to work…maybe it could be the way someone says “good morning”, A sudden mood shift in a coworker, the way someone looks at me, I suddenly think I did something wrong and like everyone has an issue with me. (It’s important to remember that there are 4 types of BPD) I personally have quiet bpd with some petulant type tendencies. I internalize things and tend to beat myself up. I struggle with extreme guilt, explosive anger, and extreme shifts in my mood. (With medication, I have improved immensely. This is just a list of my personal experiences/symptoms) I was abused by my mother’s partner as a child. I was starved at times as a punishment and even locked in my bedroom (lock on the other side of the door) while I listened to my step sister and her father eat. I would listen to them tell me how good dinner is as they ate it. He forced me to dress “like a nerd” so that I would be bullied in middle and elementary school. (And I was bullied horribly) he cut my hair and intentionally screwed it up. I went through a lot. Where was my mother? She was also abused by him and afraid to leave. When she finally did find that strength, she was so beaten down emotionally that I wound up neglected. I developed severe abandonment issues and codependency. My family also disowned me as a teen due to my not being religious. I went through a lot. My biological father was never in the picture (a good thing.) I actually didn’t meet even him until my early 20’s simply out of natural curiosity. I never had any example of what a healthy, normal family looked like. Even after years and years of very heavy therapy..I still to this day at 37 years old, have no idea how to accept love. I struggle with trusting people. I can’t hold a conversation in person to save my life. I’m almost silent at work. Online? No biggie. It’s my anxiety. When I have a screen in front of my face to protect me, I’ve got nothing to worry about. The crappy thing is how self aware I am. In the past, when I have wound up triggered and split, (bpd term for essentially losing our temper and absolutely exploding. Some describe it as black out anger.) i feel like nothing can touch me. Like I am almost invincible. “God mode.” Bpd anger can be scary at times when we don’t have the tools to begin the healing process. Many go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed multiple times before they finally receive answers. Some doctors/therapists flat out refuse to treat us due to level of difficulty. Bpd is easily the most stigmatized disorder out there due to the wealth of misinformation on the internet and especially due to Hollywood. It’s not what you see on tv. We need to break this stigma. We are capable of recovery. ❤️‍🩹

[@judithbakker3326]

As a woman diagnosed with BPD I can relate a lot to what's she saying. I was diagnosed at 29, and I got to deal with a lot of shit before that. It's beneficial for her being diagnosed that early. And the one comment that got me the most: 'I try to fix people, because I can't fix myself.' The only thing I can say about that: you're not broken, you can learn about your mechanics and by figuring that out you"ll eventually won't feel broken anymore.

[@rvanhees89]

I was diagnosed at 30. As a male, finding therapy that treats bpd not solely from a female perspective, can be... Difficult.

[@Nothingspeshalwaysfresh]

Facts, diagnosed at 35 , so I def tore some shit up immensely before the eureka moment at the Psych eval. Learning this about yourself early will save you tons of headache and heartache later And @roderick. Also very true.

[@horizonblack]

@@rvanhees89 Yeah, the stigma against mental health in men is pervasive. We are supposed to just suck it up. I have ASPD and cannot find treatment for it due to it's stigma.

[@stevensonalderworstmd329]

most people dont have anything. they are just stuck in a highly programmed nation or a time period where getting the value of life is not possible...and some deeper part of them has become aware of it and they can't quite find the energy to carry on normally. or something in them has become radicalized and then it fits the criteria for some diagnosis. thats the greater cause of most mental illness. being radical and seeing a bigger picture. we are in a sick society where people are divided by financial pressure, cars, machines, property. in some nations its easier to get the value of life than others.

[@shriekingbushpigshrieking]

As a man who was engaged to a woman who had the attitude of " I try to fix people, because I can't fix myself " makes me shudder. There was 5 years of hell because of that exact attitude. Fix yourself before you go trying to fix others. If you can't fix yourself; leave others alone. Peace Judith. This isn't a nasty post.

[@ericquinn8578]

“People can only love to the extent that they’ve been taught”. That’s an insightful quote. Such good self-awareness and a firm grasp of your own psychology and behavior. You’ll find happiness, Grace; just forgive yourself, love yourself, believe in yourself and take small steps. You’re amazing and you can do anything.

[@hipmoma]

" just forgive yourself, love yourself, believe in yourself" that's the most difficult thing for a person with BPD. Nearly impossible.

[@jlllx]

It’s bs, don’t get carried away.

[@ebonywilliams9750]

Her describing the two angels on the shoulder made me cry. That is literally how I feel in my day to day life. You can literally think about being a good person and you want to be a good person but that thought it always in the back of my mind. It feels so good to have someone describe what people with BPD (including myself) go through.

[@user-qy1pf1fv8o]

That was so on point

[@DelSunflower33]

I was never diagnosed but this is me, I go from black to white so easily… being in the middle has been so hard!!! I sabotage myself the way my parents did my whole life I don’t get close to anyone it’s so so hard, having unconditional loving people around you is so important!

[@collinsmcrae]

That’s a lot of people. You have to be diagnosed, or this type of speculation is meaningless.

[@Jerry.anthony.c]

0:15 - Family. Mum dead at 1 💔 0:30 - Dads drug use 1:10 - Addiction Worsened 1:40 - Becoming aggressive 1:55 - Trashcan Diving. 💔🥺 3:00 - Dad and Prostitutes 3:30 - Schooling. 4:20 - Age 21. 4:25 - BPD diagnosis and R/ships 5:30 - Older you get with BPD "Gravitating towards people that are not good for me" "Trying to Fix people" 6:30 - Scared of Love without repercussions. 7:00 - Have you been in Love before? "I love people deeply, but it causes me to Split easily". How intensely she feels ... 8:50 - Medication for BPD 9:15 - "It's like having an Angel and Devil on your shoulder" 9:45 - "The best time for me is when I'm alone" 10:18 - Worst thing to happen? Losing my Step-Mum 11:10 - Getting so in your head! 💔 11:50 - BPD Cousin suicide. "I wish you could see how it is in my head, so you'd know why I did not want to be here" 13:00 - Super Jumpy - BPD 14:20 - Mental Health difficult to be understood by friends and family. Her mum not aware that she's diagnosed. 15:05 - Very reactionary. Impulse behavior symptoms of BPD 15:46 - "I'm afraid of ending up alone. But I'm a very difficult person to deal with" 18:18 - "This person in my head, I hate" 18:34 - Personal Image and Insecurity 💔 19:30 - "No matter what I see in the mirror, I'm never going to be happy with" 19:45 - Anxiety all the Long. Thinking and fearful thinking. 20:15 - Explosive anger. 21:00 - If someone loves you, they can be understanding. 21:00 - Do you feel helpless about this? 21:30 - A go-getter. The Drive to get things done. Yubr** 22:50 - Positives? Varied Interests. Loving people deeply. "Love comes a lot stronger when you are terrified to lose the thing you love" 23:50 - A week not going without breaking down. 💔 24:23 - Drugs? Weed. Nothing crazy. "I'd try it, get bored with it and not use it again" 25:00 - Source of illness? 25:30 - Adults Broken her heart. 💔💔 26:00 - Something I try to live with. Up to 10% of the people BPD commit suicide. 26:20 - "I love life, but I do not Love myself" 26:50 - "It's a lot easier to let things go, than let them eat you" What a sweet Soul. I feel so heavy within. **Ybur** I'm so sorry for what you've had to go through 💔

[@inshakhan5718]

I can only pray and wish her a long prosperous and happy life God bless you, Grace. Stay happy.

[@907livin]

😩 Finally a woman with BPD who can spread awareness! Thank you for sharing with the world and making it easier for everyone to understand 💜

[@amandateague8763]

❤

[@lil_debbie]

she has such a high level of self awareness!! she knows she has to work on herself and definitely seems wlling

[@SamanthaP48]

@Blacksun Sigrune1488 - 💯

[@tnt01]

@Blacksun Sigrune1488 not true.

[@j2a2y2]

bpd humans are some of the most self aware people however it is hard to break muscle memory reactions and takes months or years of dedication to truly get their disorder under control

[@j2a2y2]

@Blacksun Sigrune1488 it’s definitely not an easy disorder to deal with. your skills breakdown point has a lot less room for error compared to a neurotypic person

[@Bobsbud100]

@@j2a2y2 She has ADDH as well which makes it so much worse unfortunately. I have both but I am 52 now and love my own company.

[@tessahdcampbell2233]

Grace, thank you for courageously sharing. My mom has bpd and doesn't know it, and my son did, but he committed suicide. Your self awareness is remarkable. You are a success and you will continue to succeed. I didn't understand my son's diagnosis until after he died. I wish so badly that I knew the pain he was in. Now I understand the pain my mom is in. I wish I could help her. I applaud you for owning this and helping others and loving them deeply. I send you love and big hugs! Keep it up, you are beautiful!

[@godblessamericamyhomesweet1094]

My daughter has this. It's heartbreaking. The love/hate thing is real. The impulsiveness is real. In jr high she didn't understand why we would not allow her to just pack up and move in with the biological dad she had just met. She thought she could just create a whole new life and we wouldn't mind not seeing her anymore. She disappeared more than once. It's been a rollercoaster since puberty and the sad thing is as a parent, you feel guilty during the good times because you're constantly waiting and watching for the other shoe to drop. Because when it does, it's never just small insignificant consequences. They are devastating, life altering consequences and there's nothing you can do but help pick up the pieces and start over again. She lives in her head and creates false realities when life gets too tough to bear, or when she takes on more than she can handle. And good luck getting help because they look and act "normal" enough for insurance to laugh in your face when you're begging for help. We spent our life savings trying to help her, and when the shoe dropped again it was all for nothing. Then insurance laughed at us again while we scraped enough money together to start the process over. And of course, the shoe dropped again because life happens and unless they are given access to constant therapy, help, whatever, she naturally returns to illogical thinking to deal with life. Nobody wants to fix the broken system. God bless everyone who suffers with mental health issues, including this brave young woman that chose to share her story. I pray she keeps being able to put one foot in front of the other. She deserves a happy, peaceful life.

[@rubytuesday7653]

You deserve a happy 🌈peaceful life 2 . I'm sorry , you have been let down by the system . Your savings is gone. Your exhausted, hurt to the core. ❇️

[@emilyymaya6303]

Bpd is caused by emotional neglect and abuse and trauma in childhood what was her childhood like?

[@godblessamericamyhomesweet1094]

@@emilyymaya6303 Well that's not entirely true, but if it makes you feel better to hear that she was a victim of SA as a child, then there you go.

[@jlllx]

If your kid has bpd you’re the reason. Get out of here with your bs.

[@jessicamadrid5799]

Dialectical behavior therapy is the best treatment for BPD!

[@jodiburnett6211]

Grace. A true gem. A healer. She has endured and knows herself well. Thank you for sharing this story.

[@Kronus_Music]

I'm a 34 yr old male who has never been diagnosed with BPD but I relate to a lot of her issues. Inability to maintain relationships and always stuck in my own head. Destructive habits. I always create scenarios/conversations in my head that didn't happen, and when I feel slighted it's like the world is against me. I hope she understands that her awareness at her age is amazing. I hope she uses her energy and awareness to be a role model for other young people who struggle with mental illness and personality disorders. She's already off to a great start.

[@Xxbubbly10]

🙌 same here

[@bobconner8387]

¹q¹q¹q¹¹ was

[@FrenchUncleLou]

Same. I read a book about BPD called "I hate you- Don't Leave Me" and found it very relatable even though I've never been diagnosed.

[@PLMassTahh]

1 year up from you. holy shit! good luck mate

[@Badassmutha]

There's a lot of cross over with adhd/autism/cptsd.....

[@Jimmy-vn9hv]

Wow this girl is really self aware! I've been diagnosed ADHD but now I think I may have been BPD all along. Whatever the case, listening to her has taught me a lot. Thank you both.

[@camillacatt3486]

I cried. I’m in my late 20’s and just found out I have BPD, feeling hopeless. Thanks for bringing more awareness to this. I relate immensely but I am also different in small ways.

[@jazminecasey7681]

same here girl🤍

[@TipToeThroughTheTulips555]

It’ll be okay. Don’t be hopeless. You got this!! You can get up and fight every single day!

[@camillacatt3486]

@@TipToeThroughTheTulips555 thank you ❤️

[@Active_Abuse]

My ex wife had BPD and wouldn't properly treat it due to a variety of influences. This interview was extremely cathartic for me in terms of coming to understand a situation that I was never able to grasp when in it. It felt like a never ending battle, but I never understood how intense that battle was - especially for the person struggling with it first hand. Thank you Grace for sharing your story. Your words have tremendous impact. Thank you, Soft White Underbelly, for making these videos. I never understood the impact and importance of something like this until it was in front of me.

[@snugsthebunny]

Her interview made me feel less alone. A lot of what she said really resonates with me. Glad this interview was done to show what its like to be inside the mind of someone with BPD. Its a hard struggle all the time to live with this disorder.

[@ThePosrein]

I lover her insight and intelligence to articulate her internal process. That’s rare even for someone without BPD. She ticks off the diagnostic criteria very naturally. Clearly she has worked very hard in therapy. I hope she continues to grow into a happy life.

[@vanillapearl9986]

She articulated this very well and really gives a detail explanation on BPD.

[@criticaloptimist]

I’m so impressed with how articulate she is about her feelings. I can tell she’s had some great therapy. I’m so impressed.

[@howardking8015]

@@TheReaper42069 Why do you say that?

[@trippinatormachine]

@@howardking8015 just a hater ignore em

[@italia1049]

@@TheReaper42069 you do.

[@montecrucis7247]

If she is that self aware at such a young age, her outlook on recovering fully and having a healthy job and relationship life is really good. I wish her peace and inner comfort.

[@criticaloptimist]

@@trippinatormachine how is my comment being a hater. I’m being sincere. I really like her.

[@vinniep9562]

Grace, you're a legend. Recognising that something was not quite right and getting help at such a young age is going to save you from a lot of distress through the rest of your life. My diagnosis came about 8 years ago, in my early 40s. The damage however, was done. To anyone having watched the video who is now reading this, if what Grace talks about resonates, pls go find a good therapist to talk about this with. The sooner and younger you catch onto this insidious disorder the better.

[@kimberlym8852]

Godspeed Grace, keep up the good fight. So happy you fixed your relationship with your adopted mom. I deal with BPD and am highly emotional, and deal with anxiety and depression. I reacted to a perceived slight to my child and me, and as a result stopped communicating with my mom. She ended up passing away without me knowing, thinking I hated her. I was not aware she was sick and in hospital. Keep your tribe close. I am 64 years old, was diagnosed at age 57, alone, and every single relationship I've had was and is strained. Of the 9 criteria, I have 8. The only one I don't experience is self-harm. Yes, self-sabotage 100%. Kudos for stepping up. Don't ever give up, you have so much to offer.❤

[@spiderscantfloat]

I really appreciate her sitting down and unpacking this. I am the ex-boyfriend of a girl with BPD, and that was literally two years in hell. The amount of abuse I suffered through in that relationship was something that still thumps around in my head to this day. Learning and understanding BPD was weirdly one of the only things that helped me cope with what I went through, mostly because it told me that nothing hat happened was my fault. I did everything I could. My heart really aches for this girl, and it's monumental for her to find help and want to live a life that helps her live more completely, and allow her a better framework in order to be close to others.

[@sct296]

I know how you feel. Glad you got away because she would've destroyed you and moved on to the next victim. I live with 2 family members with this and they bring so much misery that I'm ready to write them off. They're treacherous beings who betray and backstab. I'm disgusted beyond anything.

[@spiderscantfloat]

@@sct296 I had to learn on my own the outcome of this condition. There's no cure, as much as there's conditioning. It was 20+ years of therapy with a 20% chance of overcoming it in a sizable manner, and that is just not something most people are able to take risks with, god knows I wasn't. Do what is best for you, and if these people are a scorn on your own life, the universe will throw now shade if you just do what's best for you.

[@bhoward9378]

Brother, I almost lost my mind in a similar situation. The cruelty and manipulation I experienced blew my mind. I could not believe what I was experiencing: blaming, gas lighting, lies, manipulation, etc. yet highly intelligent, physically beautiful, a tiger in bed, etc. Someone wrote something about being in a relationship with someone with BPD called "I hate you, don't leave me," and that's an apt description of what they are like. That was 20 years ago next month. I would rather have experienced a war than having gone through that relationship. It took years to recover, and I'm still affected by it. On the upside, I had a religious experience several years later based on that relationship: I forgave her, and the burdens and weights left me. I forgave her in my mind, but that does not mean I would ever have anything to do with her again.

[@seb.is.missing]

@@sct296let’s not generalize every person with BPD

[@megallen7169]

@@seb.is.missingagreed. so unfair to generalise so many people who are suffering because of a bad experience:/

[@ChrisAnnel93]

As someone with Bipolar 2 I can resonate with the feeling alone and misunderstood. Friendships are hard to maintain and feeling insecure and worthless. But there's some comfort in knowing you're not alone. Keep pushing

[@ChrisAnnel93]

@wazzupmyninja lmaooo, nothing I never heard before

[@jasminejohnstone1803]

@wazzupmyninja what a horrible thing to say. You wouldn't be saying that if you suffered my mental illness bi polor c ptsd muppet ....

[@papawnanasaveslovesnlife9530]

So Me , I had a T Top Camaro I ❤ n miss n on windshield I wanted to put "Miss.Undedstood", cause no1 understand me in Life.

[@candygram501]

What an honest, articulate, wise woman.

[@Most_Trustworthy_Weasel]

She's lying.

[@girlbosswesker]

@@Most_Trustworthy_Weasel And you know this how?

[@Most_Trustworthy_Weasel]

@@girlbosswesker The girl in the video is nothing of the qualities Candygram501 is bestowing. Otherwise she wouldn't be on here

[@michaelc3977]

Candygrams naive comment just goes to show how convincing people with cluster B personality disorders are.

[@DrJamesBWood]

@@Most_Trustworthy_Weasel No, she isn't. Keep in mind that not that long ago DBT would have been diagnosed as bipolar. You are only seeing one side of her here, the side that presents well, makes you think it isn't that bad, the side that evokes empathy. She is talking openly about the dark side of DBT but we are not seeing it here and it would be cruel to both her and us if we did.

[@jennihawkins3450]

I love this girl. She is so insightful, intelligent and has a great motivation to do everything she needs to do to be successful. Girl, I hope you know that there is a large subset of therapists that believe this diagnosis is entirely reversible, and it is. Just keep working on your issues and eventually you will hit gold and be so much better for it all. You're amazing and strong and obviously resilient as hell.

[@billlozier5551]

She's 21. Good grief. SHES A KID. She's not screwed up. She IS a survivor. Give her love and patience and she will be fine.

[@venusallure9752]

Absolutely! She is so articulate and has more of an understanding of herself than people without BPD

[@billlozier5551]

@@venusallure9752 you can say that again.

[@mistym0rning]

Love and patience alone aren’t going to heal somebody’s deep childhood trauma, unfortunately. But I hope she continues to have loving people in her life who give her corrective experiences, and that she also gets help from therapy or something along those lines.

[@billlozier5551]

@@mistym0rning therapy? What do you think love and patience is?

[@badxradxandy]

21 is not a kid

[@darealfaseescobar]

I was in a relationship where I recognized ( eventually told her) that she definitely had the signs of BPD and Bi Polar. She would not be "open up" enough to display herself" honestly" to her therapist, so it never would get diagnosed.i stayed and dealt with it along side of her, because of the amount of Love I truly had for her. I, now deal with so many things that I have been permently scarred with from doing so. This is the first time I'm ever expressing anything pertaining to her,or this topic.... Love is real! Mental health is important and serious! Proper expression is goal! Bless and Love EVERYONE!

[@jameseastwood4984]

I think most people here have an issue, or our caring for someone with an issue, so you're in your peer group as a carer in these discussions. Did you manage to stay together, or are you left with your scars without feeling like your time was invested?

[@darealfaseescobar]

@@jameseastwood4984 she states out loud" let's work on things" now that there is acknowledgementvon the topics...but when it comes down to it. Stress still ignoring it ,or maybe I should say choosing not to face it, and with very ugly self defensive walls worst than ever at times

[@wizardofahhhs759]

You need to get rid of her and heal yourself. You can't force a person to change or get help if they don't want to.

[@godspeedrell]

Just stop dealing with someone with BPD and it was an unpredictable roller coaster unlike any I’ve ever experienced. Definitely lots of residual trauma from it. Hope you’re healing from it man💪🏾

[@Mrbungleface0u818]

My daughter's mom has finally sought help and was diagnosed manic bi polar and I see all the signs of bpd as well. She self medicated with drugs and alcohol for years and she is now 14 months sober and doing great. The disorders are still there but with the right help and correct medication it can help.... But most of all love and support. If they are so willing to accept I too. Have been hurt and scarred and burned, being by her side. But I loved her and still do... You are right.... Mental health is important and I never ever took the time to see what was going on with me, and I suffered from that She is fortunate she was able to be diagnosed young....

[@jaxonfordham6862]

I relate a lot to this one. I hope someday Mark does an interview with someone struggling with OCD. Being a male with OCD and ADHD, I definitely understand some overlapping struggles she has

[@jnieswartz4878]

I have crippling OCD. It would be nice to hear a story of someone else struggling.

[@shiningstar5919]

I agree, ocd is a huge problem and could be covered better

[@grant4176]

Mark has done a lady with OCD from NYC I think it was...

[@long_lashes9836]

I agree! I'm ocd and ADHD also 🤯

[@tereseday4060]

@@long_lashes9836 Me too.

[@andymartinandy]

My freind picked an 18yr old boy up off the street he had every thing that this girl talked about. After much prayer we chose 4 men that where committed to walking with him through life . We have been treated horribly he has thrown us out many times but we would get together and pray and beg God to heal him. 2 yrs into this and he is living with a beautiful family that took him in. They treat him as a son an he is doing wonderful. He still has tendencies to run but has learned to trust us that have been there and he now holds a job an makes great income. Folks man and pills can only treat symptoms but God is the GREAT PHYSICIAN!!

[@HeyHeyItzGabbie]

As a person with bpd it’s interesting to hear how others experience it. I was very intrigued when she said “The best times for me is when I’m alone”. I’m actually the opposite. I need to be distracted from those thoughts, the angel and devil on my shoulders, I need to be distracted from myself.

[@nostralgia3203]

Maybe you haven't had an extended period of time where you're just alone. As someone with BPD I know how terrible and overwhelming I can get when I'm around others I really want to be around. I will do anything to make them stay and love me. Anything. I've had some extended periods of time where I've been alone, which is why I can understand why she says "the best times for me is when im alone" because you know you can't hurt others (you also get to peruse things that interest you and can potentially help pull you towards the direction of getting over BPD. Once you start to get used to your own company, being alone becomes more tolerable, definitely still very difficult at times.. but much more tolerable if you're able to throw yourself in the deepend for an extended amount of time.

[@sylviaholloway2584]

I am better when I am alone. Other people affect my emotional well being far too much. No matter how much I love them I project my issues w myself onto them.

[@sheribellagee9998]

There are so many different versions of BPD that it is hard to compare.Experiencing extreme emotions and having difficulty maintaining relationships of any kind tend to be the common denominators. It's a complicated disorder. DBT therapy can help a lot.

[@melmel7011]

​@@sylviaholloway2584im exactly like you, being alone is safest

[@contraband1543]

​​@@melmel7011Same here. I'm smothering in a relationship(the short ones I've had) I cant handle the lows of relationships at all.

[@JamesBlue28]

Was married to someone with bpd for 10 years. This was very familiar and insightful.

[@tifKh]

What was it like leaving? Can I ask? My partner has been with me for about 12 years. I try so hard, but, I think I exhaust them. They almost go through the motions with arguments, trying to get to the end of my tirade, because we’ve done it so many times before. Sorry for asking, I just saw your comment. Hope you are in a good place, James :)

[@DjibrineMainassara]

Thanks for sharing! My wife has similar BPD issues. We've been together for over 12 years, and she often tells me that I am the longest relationship she ever had. Until learning about mental illnesses and BPD, I never understood her brusts of swinging anger/attachment/disconnect. Agreed, it is very hard to live with someone not knowing what to expect. Walking on eggshells and thinking about how to talk to her in a way that would not trigger. Still struggling sometimes with the idea that we may stay together for ever. Taking care of myself has become my priority. Your interview is very insightful! Keep up with the good work on your self!

[@747Durango]

Thank you Grace. You must be 22 now and have your whole life in front of you. I learned so much from you. I hope you've heard of DBT and are feeling better with each passing day. You are wise, caring and strong.

[@Frontline.Motivation]

I fear my wife suffers from BPD. The drama literally blindsides me weekly. I am blamed for and accused of almost everything negative in the relationship. I am so exhausted. I love her so much. But she IS pushing me away... I am super mindful of myself and continually develop myself as a positive and mentally strong person... but this is so exhausting. I just want her to be okay. For our children... for herself. I am trying everyone. I truly am.

[@patrickm.4469]

I strongly recommend The Happy Wife School here on KZbin. It'll answer many of your questions and shed some light on what you can do about the situation