Boyhood Videoessay : Was the Veteran a Bad Father?

#boyhood #linklater #videoessay #military #veterans
What do you think of this character?

[@samsquanch1996]

In the end, yes he was a bad step-father. At first he was nice and respectable, but as his drinking problem got worse, he also became worse and became a very condescending person. Alcoholism is a hard addiction to beat, I know, however he could have and should have put in some effort to get clean for his new family, but he didn't. His alcohol problem didn't make him a bad guy, but his non-willingness to try to stop drinking did.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

that's a very fair take. He was also in a tough position, I think.

[@samsquanch1996]

@@MaximumInsecurityProductions I also think PTSD from being in war might have been one of the causes of his drinking problem.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

@@samsquanch1996 that makes sense. I think he was just used to being in the military as well and dealing with people there.

[@carlosespinal8831]

It’s usually like that with most, you see the best part of their personalities at the beginning, then later they start showing their true colors.

[@zackcross7190]

I think Mason in the scene where Jim is telling him about household rules and how he’s taking care of the family, he’s remembering the times that Bill probably said the same thing.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

Sure. I can see that. I hesitate to compare jim and bill too directly. I do think there's this shared element of both father figures making the experience about themselves and their own priorities. With Bill I think it's purely his own narcissism and viewing his family as property/extension of himself. With Jim, I think it's this frustration with dealing with a teenager and wanting him to outgrow that phase as quickly as possible. After all, Jim had to mature quickly in his own young adulthood. He sees mason as a problem. Both men make it about themselves. For Bill, it's his ego. For Jim, it's his frustration and treating it like a problem. With both, there's a lack of the same love that Olivia is able to provide, and Mason Sr. Later on. I cover that in a separate video on the main channel page actually. My motherhood video. To mason and to any child, this type of confrontation is confusing. He's obviously a dream child.

[@DepthUnchecked]

He would’ve been a much better parental figure if he didn’t let his alcoholism interfere.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

It really is that simple, yeah. Alcohol is poison.

[@josephflannery9015]

The issue is Jim was showing signs of being like Bill. He was drinking, and talking down like they owe him everything for being a step father.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

100%. It should have been viewed as a privilege right. Can't be feeling sorry for himself.

[@mtdouthit1291]

He should have NEVER said “You know how I know that? Cause I’m actually HERE.” Horrible thing to say. Their real dad is a GOOD dad and he just completely bashed him.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

Oh yeah. Cheap shot for sure. He was definitely frustrated but that's a bit self righteous and if he actually wants to call himself a dad he can't be feeling sorry for himself in that way.

[@jameshazen2907]

I think their real dad was a good dad. But I also think he tried to be too much of a friend. Jim shouldn’t have said that to Mason. Bringing your military manners into parenting is a slippery slope. So is being a friend. I’ve made both of those mistakes.

[@tyrannosaurusburke]

One of the major faults of "Boyhood" was how Jim was inexplicably cut from the film. When the film cuts to a year later, he's gone, and no one mentions him again. Jim might not have been the perfect stepfather, but he was well intentioned, and deserved better than going the way of Chuck Cunningham in this movie.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

100 percent. He wound up feeling like a speedbump for many. But I think he was okay with stepping out. As a character, he wasn't crazy about the actual demands of fatherhood and wasn't happy. He wasn't a bad guy though and not abusive like the first stepfather. It just felt like work to him first and foremost. He just wasn't able to be what olivia was hoping for and he wasn't happy.

[@nerdyworld938]

I thought it was briefly mentioned and implied that Olivia divorced him too?

[@BboyFever]

Well written analysis. I glossed over this character as another father in a line, but you really made me go back and rethink him. And as a man in his mid 30s who is looking to be a father: love and patience. Good lessons.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

Im glad you liked it. I just happened to really read into Jim in particular. Love and patience - it sounds easy enough but it's a ton of work in practice. Requires a ton of self sacrifice inherently.

[@josephhernandez1885]

In this scene when he tells Jim he is not his dad, that is telling the audience that Bill was running the house like that and he was thinking about his past and how to deflect that from ruining him mentally, emotionally and psychologically.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

There were definitely similarities, but some other commenters have acknowledged some key differences too. I think Bill was more about himself and his own ego. Jim was just frustrated with the work involved. A good point to be made is that to a boy- it's hard to distinguish discipline from aggression, especially if you've dealt with aggression and maliciousness once.

[@FlippyEveryDay]

If you watch this movie backwards it's about a young man remembering past memories from his life! BAM MIND BLOWN

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

Maybe a recut would really work well! You should check out the mother's day essay I made about this movie! It's my favorite that I've done.

[@p.ballout]

Boyhood is one of my favorite movies, and you just made me appreciate it so much more. really eloquent breakdown of those characters and those complex dynamics. i appreciate that you provide both screenwriting analysis along with well-reasoned emotional insight. lovely video, please make more.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/gYmxqJRpp79kb80 I'm really thankful that you liked it. This is one I made over motherhood that I think is much better than the veteran one.

[@thedaggonator]

Dude I have been thinking this everytime I watch it. This guy was not a bad father. He really did care and he did try to be a good father despite the lack of blood. He wasn't perfect, but he really did seem to want what he thought was best for Mason.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

Yeah absolutely. He's technically right about everything, but he wants Mason to grow up as soon as possible. Probably a reflection of his own background.

[@monkeydude9192]

Enjoy the movie as I grew up pretty on the same timeline as Mason, but it felt like the filmmakers didn't know quite what do to with Jim and wanted to be rid of him. As touched on, he had good values to try and teach Mason, and seemed to be tracking as a good step father; then they just made him the second alcoholic in a row, which didn't feel in character for him from what we saw until then.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

I think that they didn't do enough with Jim, yeah. He is kind of a sympathetic and sad character who probably did deserve better. I think that he just wasn't adding as much as Olivia hoped, and wasn't able to settle into an already great dynamic that she had with her children, which is a monumental task when we really think about it. I made a much better followup about Olivia. kzbin.info/www/bejne/gYmxqJRpp79kb80

[@petepyeatt6909]

I think he went too hard on Mason for the painted nails. For Olivia, I believe this was the final straw. Also, he is upset because Mason mumbled? That’s just the way he speaks.

[@ArtaxerxesVI]

Was Mason's mom's friend really crushing on mason?

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

loool. Maybe a little. Sometimes older women just want to tell you how cute you are.

[@markh8744]

I saw at least three missteps that Jim made as a stepfather. First, his inability to connect with his stepson. He didn’t respect Mason’s individuality. Jim is clearly cut from a conservative cloth evidenced by his mannerisms, devotion to country and traditional masculine values. He’s also very narrow minded in that he only recognizes one form of masculinity. Mason doesn’t align with Jim’s image of how a man is supposed to look and behave. There is the scene where Jim says demeaning things about Mason’s painted fingernails. He doesn’t respect Mason’s modes of expression because they do not align with his own. So he judges Mason because of these differences. It really comes down to a generational gap that Jim was never interested in overcoming. Second, Jim became very wound tight and emotionally unstable over time. Corrections officer is an incredibly stressful profession. The element of danger alone is emotionally and physically taxing. Bringing that kind of baggage home each day will ultimately spill over in the form of projected hostility. Add in the alcohol addiction as a coping mechanism and you have a recipe for volatility. A person under this kind of severe stress tends to have a very short fuse. Not good characteristics at all for dealing with teenagers. Third, Jim does not respect the family’s turf. He moved into their house. With that comes adult responsibilities like paying bills and being a provider. Jim sees his handling of obligations as a badge of entitlement. He wields his accomplishments as a provider as a weapon against Mason. As far as Mason sees it, the family was doing fine before Jim moved in. Then Jim shows up and becomes another authority figure. It really comes down to Jim’s inability tp empathize with Mason, understanding that he is moving in on their established turf. Jim ought to respect and better appreciate that. Being a stepfather is a challenge, but a man can save himself a lot of headaches if he practices empathy and simply respects everyone in the household. It’s a difficult adjustment for kids when a new person moves into the picture. A good stepparent will understand this and work to minimize that difficulty by building a bridge to their step kids. Taking an interest in your step kids lives and wholly investing in them will go a long way toward building a strong relationship foundation.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

I think that's a fantastic response and it comes from a perspective of being very prepared to take on the task. I think a lot of stepfathers probably shirk these responsibilities more so than Jim. I think Jim has some good intentions but just isn't truly up to the task, which can be a very humbling proposition and would require growth regardless of how prepared a person is. I agree on all points. He is definitely under a lot of stress, and on top of work, this dynamic obviously feels laborious to him as well. Some of it really is just that the challenge of his profession is he can't really get rid of the toxicity, but only manage it, and yes it's up to him to manage it better. I think he has some desire to stick his neck out and himself out there, but when it comes to the point of actually doing it, I agree that he just isn't truly willing to try to grow. If he was willing to relate more or to try to make himself more available he would be rewarded with some understanding as well and I think he would realize that it isn't just a cost. Investing into someone else's life is one of the best ways to grow as a person and that really is its own reward. With him it's not really just that he's trying but has a few missteps- he's not truly up for the job. I think he's right in a reductive way. Like I do think that Mason will ultimately outgrow a lot of his teenaged interests, but a big part of this is as you said, a lack of respect for Mason. Mason is a dream child, and while Jim might be right in many ways that Mason has some growing up to do, Jim is basically resenting Mason for being a teenager at all and he basically wants him to grow up as fast as possible. Its a bit small minded to not be able to cherish something like that, even if he's a bit worn down. I think it all just speaks to what it really takes to do what your describing, which is a process and takes ongoing work and commitment. It inherently feels like going above and beyond. I hope you'll be interested in the video that I did about Olivia and motherhood because I think she exemplifies a lot of the emotional strength and sacrifice that you're describing as necessary. To be honest I think it's way better than this video, and it's my favorite that I've made (I have a different channel as well). kzbin.info/www/bejne/gYmxqJRpp79kb80

[@alexcrowe9519]

TROOPER TRANSFORM!

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

Lolwut?

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

Lol. I had no idea he was a Power Ranger.

[@alexcrowe9519]

Haha he was actually in VR Troopers as Ryan Steele

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

@@alexcrowe9519 sounds like a porn name

[@mcdonald7727]

Yes I know he was Ryan Steele in VR Troopers until now I watched it still the VR Troopers and he was my favorite character and for almost 1 year in my Taekwondo Class Brad Hawkins (Ryan Steele) is my inspiration to learn.

[@rhysanderson8690]

Yes

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

You think he was bad? I can agree. Why do you feel that way, if you don't mind elaborating.

[@rhysanderson8690]

@@MaximumInsecurityProductions Bro was angry

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

@@rhysanderson8690 I think he was really frustrated and wasn't a real father when we boil it down.

[@kensukefan47]

This comment section made me realise that my step father is in fact a pretty shitty guy.

[@r4h4al]

I don't remember Jim marrying Olivia, when did that happen?

[@Vendzor]

1:22:55

[@FlippyEveryDay]

He wasn't a bad father, he just wanted respect like everyone else. He got mad at mason for slacking and not being home on time, it's nothing to do with being a bad father, it's a caring military man trying to make an honest man of his stepson.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

I don't think he was a bad person or abusive at all. Mason is a great kid, but he's still a teenager and a big pain. I just think Jim was in over his head. Wanted Mason to grow up as quickly as possible.

[@Joel960pxz]

Jim is not a complete bad father because Mason was right…… hes not HIS father… and Jim has olivia to thank for that..

[@Hollameyah899]

More like Patricia Arquette's character has bad taste in men, and yet the real life actress has the gall to bring up that make-believe wage gap during her Oscar acceptance speech, despite making more in one month than most Americans do in a day...

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/gYmxqJRpp79kb80 Would you be willing to check this out? I think she didn't vette them enough. And they couldn't meet her expectations. She was an excellent mother

[@Hollameyah899]

I never said she wasn't a good mother, I'm saying she had bad taste in men, and it only appears that those men couldn't meet her needs because her kids were also annoying as shit. It's a wholesome story with good intentions, but a lot of the adult characters are pretty jaded and cynical. After my parents got divorced when I was young, my dad went our with some pretty trashy women and ironically enough, my mom found herself a nice longterm boyfriend. So in a way, I could relate to the main character's struggle, just took it in a different light.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

@@Hollameyah899 I don't necessarily think they were that annoying. Not any more than kids always are. They took a somewhat unstable childhood and got all of the right cues from their mom. It's always tough when people enter the dating pool to remarry with kids. Very few people are able to bond and put forward the level of self sacrifice needed.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

@@Hollameyah899 I do agree with you to an extent.

[@someguy42093]

I was very disappointed by this movie. Patricia arquettes character was awful. All she did was make decisions and randomly get married all the time to drunken idiots. And her acting was bad. How she won an Oscar I’ll never understand. The acting wasn’t good. It was formulaic. I love Richard linklater. But this wasn’t the masterpiece is should have been. I was bummed out because I was so psyched to see it.

[@round105]

Bro, sometimes people hide all their shit and when you're there, they release all of it. My friend married some dude, they lived together for about 6 months and even dated for a year. She saw no abusing instincts or red flags. A couple of months after marriage, he had changed and had become abusive and cowardly.

[@MaximumInsecurityProductions]

@@round105 true-she came into it with good faith but he couldn't live up to his own self image