Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews: ALIENATOR

I take a special request and review "Alienator" (1990), starring Jan-Michael Vincent, John Philip Law and Ross Hagen. Also featuring a special guest appearance from The Cinema Snob!
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[@drfr0stii704]

For anyone who hasn’t seen this movie, Cole turning evil at the end is a legit plot twist. Unlike 99% of plot twists that come out of nowhere with nothing to hint the viewer on how it’s possible, this movie tells you Cole is evil and continues on, by the end you forget and thus the twists works, it’s dumb genius!

[@harrihaffi2713]

Cool

[@ZombieWilfred]

I love "dumb genius" like a variation of "It's so crazy, it just might work..." 😂

[@philipmonihan8222]

I have seen the movie and, yes, for such a dumb flick, it's a genuinely respectable twist.

[@RetroRanter]

The Snob appeared, my life is now complete. That was a low budget crossover and i LOVE it.

[@weirdshibainu]

Sad ending for Jan Michael. He had the makings of a major star.

[@captaintoyota3171]

Yup addiction takes anyone no matter status in life

[@ls-420stoner6]

I love the "Decapitation" sound effect

[@EmonWBKstudios]

actually, bullets are made of lead with a copper case. which is why the bullets wouldn't short out the alienator, although that doesn't explain why I'm trying to make sense of this movie.

[@scotthillman9134]

EmonWBKstudios Also if her body was invulnerable to kinetic force, would only connect for like 1/4 of a second at most. Not enough time for it to last.

[@realhoffman_3263]

Uhhh brass cassiing srry.

[@Matopoika]

@@realhoffman_3263 Only the turrets in the Portal video game series shoot out the whole cartridge including the brass casing. That is if you believe Cave Johnsons ramblings. Cave Johnson called a cartridge "the whole bullet" which makes no fucking sense. A bullet is just the projectile at the tip of the cartridge. Real guns eject the brass casing from the side of the gun and don't shoot it at the target. Bullets might have copper jackets or not depending on the type. Some bullets are just lead, like most .22 LR. But even some .22 LR:s have copper jackets. I hope this clears the confusion.

[@user-zh4vo1kw1z]

ADHD? That can sometimes make it hard to stop mulling things over :p

[@marhawkman303]

@@scotthillman9134 My rationale for the net is that the metal needs to bridge contact between different parts of her body. also.... how smart is she actually?

[@welshwidgetman2o1o76]

The two older men (the Colonel and the jedi lookin' dude) were regulars on *Dragnet* and *Adam-12* back in the late 60's and early 70's. They were in countless episodes on those two television shows, which were produced by the same person. They tended to "recycle" a rather small group of actors for those two shows. Even saw several Dragnet/Adam-12 actors being used on the original Star Trek. I guess those guys got around . . .

[@ryanbarker5217]

dragnet used the same ones all the time, not to mention many of the same sets. great show, one of my favourites.

[@scotts.9329]

Every video, I wait for DECAPITATION. When it happens, I laugh. please do it more!

[@varanid9]

Bloodthirsty bastard!

[@PaulEmical]

Could someone please remind me where the "decapitation" sample came from?

[@Tareltonlives]

Someday I'd love to see a full-length crossover between Brad and Brandon

[@Silentbobx]

Ah, after a nasty day at work, I'm treated to a review of a movie that I suggested. Awesome job, Brandon. Seemed like this was a fun one to do.

[@AdamKNAC]

The only thing I would recognize Jan-Michael Vincent from is from the TV series Air Wolf where he played the pilot of Airwolf, Stringfellow Hawke.

[@user-zh4vo1kw1z]

I've seen him around, but to me he'll always be the buddie of the other Ernest...

[@Jolar70]

The badass colonel is Leo Gordon who had an AMAZING career in Hollywood! I first saw him as a more-than-worthy hunter / oppenent for Tarzan in "Tarzan Goes to India" from 1962. Then as a rogue ex-cop on an episode of "Adam-12", and then on "Bonanza". He's awesome in everything and then I found out he was also a television screenwriter and, as always with these scary villain-type actors, he was supposedly a gentle sweetheart in real life! Anyway, I was really enjoying this review and was happily surprised when Leo Gordon showed up as the colonel. Great episode!

[@Madbandit77]

Jolar70 He also wrote episodes of "Adam-12" and "Bonanza". Great character actor from Brooklyn, NY. Miss him.

[@axelwulf6220]

The Alienator is also played by Tegan Clive An Olympic weight-lifter, writer, actor, and I believe she was a producer once You'll recognize her in a brief appearance in Armed and Dangerous, as the chick at the gym that John Candy punched out

[@codyredd2642]

Props to the usage of the Bulk and Skull theme.

[@SporeFreak2010]

What a twist! the good guy was the bad guy all along.

[@crypto457]

Huh, so Jasper started as a bounty hunter before she became a soldier for the Gem homeworld.

[@gemgrimm7835]

She Look Liked Him....

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Him?

[@johnhaladay5541]

Teagan Clive had one of the hottest, yet underrated, bodies of the 1980s. If you don't believe that, watch her in Interzone.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Cyber Space Amazon is my new waifu.

[@SuperDevilDoctor]

A bit more useless trivia fer ya... The guy in the "Ian Holm" robes (with lightsaber) is Robert Clarke, who starred in THE MAN FROM PLANET X (1951), THE HIDEOUS SUN DEMON (1959) and FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND (1981). The gent pouring himself a drink at 8:41 is no less than Count Yorga himself, Robert Quarry. Told ya it was useless! Another terrific episode, Brandon.

[@MondoConnie]

I've seen this movie multiple times and just realized, the last time I saw it, that he was the doctor from Frankenstein Island. Jesus! Frankenstein Island is a doozy!

[@warrenferguson5174]

Brian Lindsey oboy.

[@philipmonihan8222]

Robert Clark was also part of Jack Webb's unofficial repertory company. He really made the rounds on Dragnet and Adam-12. Him and Virginia Gregg.

[@vithepiltoverenforcer8778]

10:35 Did you really just use Bulk and Skull’s theme from the OG Power Rangers? Friggin beautiful!

[@thomasbrantley5667]

I hadn't heard that music in 25 years. Holy shit.

[@andreykuzmin4355]

I loved your manic war-face, when you rolled "decaypitation" joke. Keep up the good work!

[@donaldpetkus1637]

Please review The Batwoman, a 1968 Mexican film directed by Rene Cardona. It stars the lovely and talented Maura Monti fighting crime while wearing a bikini and a cape.La Mujer Murcielago was the original title

[@ringworks]

it is glorious to see a cross over with the Snob :-)

[@sebadcabre]

Holy shit Brandon! You know you're doing well in life when the Cinema Snob appears on your video. Keep it up!

[@dianajanejubilee]

"DECAPITA-TIONNNNNNN!" Oh, I love that sound bite! Great review, Brandon, and loved the Cinema Snob cameo, too!

[@wopjohn]

" you got the all clear" " its Totally not working!"

[@billyhyde1415]

Over Four Years Later: I offer the pun name, "Jan Michael Squintcent."

[@roringusanda2837]

🏆👈😒😝

[@roringusanda2837]

That was beautiful!

[@roringusanda2837]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 Wild applause!

[@neohero180]

9:24 omg how ever did you jan-michael Vincent to be on your show in this day and age?

[@MoarCrossovers]

16:48 Surprise, we did see that shit in the new Star Wars movie!

[@varanid9]

OK, Jan, we know it's you!

[@Tareltonlives]

Yeah, that movie sucked too!

[@TP3_5]

Here's a Classic, The Ice Pirates! Tell me what I have to do to get you to review this beauty

[@b.w.22]

No way! That cop guy isn’t famous for Barbarella - he’s famous for that one MST3K film with Slab Hardbody, he being the bad-guy leader trying to take over the colony ship that’s really leftover Battlestar Galactica footage. Edit: Space Mutiny

[@Vates104]

I lost it when you mentioned The Incredible Hulk and Lita Ford. I would have fallen out of my chair if I hadn’t already been half past out on the floor.

[@designertjp-utube]

Hmmm...thought I already commented about 175 lines back or so but....Time to Own Up again. Cleve Hall (from SyFy MonsterMan) and I worked on thick FBB Muscle Actress Teagan's *Alienator* Costume. We Fabricated her Gun/Arm/Weapon and Bra Support from a Big Bottle of *Sapporo* Beer (after Cleve drank all of it). Found out why my full name (Tuck John Porter a.k.a. *Designer* *TJP* ) was never popping up on Google about this Cult Hit Sci-Fi Flick. When I finally bought an old Alienator VHS Cassette from Hollywood *Ameoba* Records on Sunset Blvd, I immediately scrolled to the credits ending where I was shocked to discover the friggin film staff people had put me down as _"Cleve Hall and Tuck"_ for Alienator's Costume! Looking back, this probably was a good thing, but......As a trained Ad Man knows, _"Any Advertising is good Advertising!"_ #DesignerTJP

[@jlovebirch]

Really enjoyed the Cinema Snob cameo as you both have a similar style -- he could be your older American cousin or something. A future collaboration would be epic. Been binge watching most of the League of Super Critics channel which is a good fit for your reviews.

[@TalkingDevoB52]

Dude, I know this is an older post but don't watch League of Super Critics. Brad has told them they owe him tons of money and take his stuff down and they ignore him. Douchebags

[@darkcoeficient]

@@TalkingDevoB52 was gonna say comment is dated as hell

[@Crrrow]

What a awesome nostalgia critic cameo.

[@devlynpayne666]

Yay for Cinema Snob. You know it makes sense.

[@tec5x5]

Dude any movie staring JMV using a lightsaber is A+ in my book

[@ireallylovepie]

Congrats on joining That Guy, Brandon. Also glad to see that you got that CinemaSnob cameo.

[@XuntosIzor]

Brandon! You and Cinema Snob totally should to a crossover later on!

[@brittanyyates6527]

Hell yeah

[@wopjohn]

totally

[@ShanaReviews]

Given the mass exodus of CA and everything that's happened I don't think that will happen

[@richardfan7157]

Brandon still follows Brad on Twitter

[@ericsmith718]

@@ShanaReviews What is the mass of exodus of CA?? What happened???

[@eddieking2976]

The Alienator is played by 80's female bodybuilder Teagan Clive.

[@timcooke9429]

Lol 1st degree mullet

[@rizzocalrizzian6047]

This Jan-uary, its time to Michael down your Vincent's!

[@chavitoheat]

Yes! A Cinema Snob cameo! This show just got even more awesome!

[@zeframmann1641]

"Bet we don't see that shit in the new Star Wars movie!" *one year later* "PSYCHE!"

[@ShanaReviews]

1:12 oh wow so that's where TFS got the line for Guru when the Namekians were eating him alive

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Nnnaaaail.

[@samuelferrell9257]

Just started watching Brandon's reveiws. Totally awesome job! Keep it up Brandon.

[@ShadowWolfRising]

also that Evil Toons and that other one after need to be reviewed. cause they look silly. Also yes, Brutal Legend is fantastic.

[@theflophouse5525]

Wow this was before Jan quadrant Vincent 16 , I can't wait for that review .

[@elscorpio4821]

P. J Soles TOTALLY!!!!

[@Oborosen]

If anyone wants to know who the Alienator is. Her name is Teagan Clive, and she's actually got a pretty expansive career as a writer. Not to mention a few more movie roles that she's appeared in.

[@jamesmc04]

These reviews are always a joy to watch :)

[@Nickel_The_Wise]

"Y'know, mebbe it'z the beer talkin', PJ, but you got a butt that won't QUIT.. they got these big chewy pretzels that g'waallszh wuaaaanzzuh beers n'-- what? Fifth Element guy? ..get outta here.."

[@jamesstaab6614]

Oh my. This one really made me laugh. Your humor is really on point here.

[@lapearl521]

Yours are the only videos on youtube I can sit through that are more than 10 minutes long. Love 'em. Thanks, Brandon

[@ChucksParanormal]

Great review as always! Glad I wasn't drinking when I saw the "Iron Giant" comment at the end or I would have spit up all over my keyboard!

[@sirtalkalotdoolittle]

Those are three names that will always make me sit up and take notice

[@ZarakiKenpachi9100]

And suddanly a wild Snob appears :D you gotta catchem all :D

[@edvoorhees4253]

Love Homer’s drunken card recitation. Hilarious reference!

[@Nickel_The_Wise]

Lovin' that scene of Brandon, brandishing his drink and yelling at that twerpy Roger Daltrey looking guy.

[@GojiraRising]

Awesome review Brandon, especially The Great and Cynical Cinema Snob cameo XD

[@artspectrum2421]

He ain't funny.

[@ghostface__-pi4kf]

Brandon: "was everyone shit faced during this" Me: *is so fucking drunk i dont even remember clicking on this video* yes...

[@DAVIDSMITH-io6pc]

Being snarky,and Canadian[from Canadia],your one weakness!Most entertaining channel,yet.

[@Tareltonlives]

Woo! Snob crossover! Hope you guys do more someday!

[@randomguy2518]

When the alienator takes an arrow to the back of her head and unconcernedly looks around, all i can think of is skyrim

[@largo778]

you have to go for the knee!

[@randomguy2518]

Those guards are pussies, the dhovakin still goes on adventures and thats after dozens if not HUNDREDS of arrows, in the knee/Chest/Face..... Hell ive seen the Dragonborn slaying bandits whith a foot an a half long icesicle as thick as a man's wrist stuck through HIS GODDAMN CRANIUM.......arrow in the knee?.....more like mail-clad pansies

[@henrykujawa4427]

Speaking of casting... the old man was Leo Gordon, who was in both "THE HAUNTED PALACE" and "THE INTRUDER" from Roger Corman. Also, one of the hunters was Hoke Howell, was actually played the SAME Alpha Control security guard in both "The Reluctant Stowaway" AND "Time Merchant" on "LOST IN SPACE"! (Meaning, he had not one but TWO altercations with Dr. Smith. In the sequel, The Robot punched him out-- TWICE-- and the first time, he warned others, "Watch out for that right HOOK!")

[@TheCyborgTrucker]

The hunter with the brown jacket is Hoke Howel and played the gas station attendant in Kingdom of the Spiders and later in a bunch of B-monie scifi bit parts. The Alienator was played by Teagan Clive a bodybuilder/actress and she is pretty funny as Jafar's ally/sarcastic foil in the Lou Ferrigno movie Sinbad. 😂

[@stashmerkin9576]

I know this is an older video but have never heard of this one. Thanks!

[@BurningAzure]

10:37, Nice use of the Bulk and Skull theme.

[@xxedgy_outsiderxx9978]

That alienator is hot as hell

[@StarsWithScars]

You can call yourself "centered insider now! :)

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

I like a bricc amazon myself.

[@ryanbarker5217]

teagan clive, i think her name is.

[@44excalibur]

R.I.P. Joe Pilato and Jan Michael Vincent.

[@BB120776]

5:41 Oh, come on, you couldn't spring for a Wilhelm?

[@tommytwostep9753]

"Building up his reserves of old man strength" ...classic!!

[@georgeowain]

Great review, I think the scene from 'Severance' when Gordon gets his leg caught in a bear trap would have been a great gag reference to the poacher getting his leg caught in one.

[@Tygerhart]

I honestly thought that was Jon Mikl Thor...

[@Shrikinator]

" ... guilty of first degree mullet" ok, that made me instantly subscribe

[@calesgy]

COOL, even the Snob came out in this one. Awesome dude

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Alienator looks like she is from a 1980's anime.

[@66cuda]

thank you, you made it to me you had cinema snob in an episode, you made my cool book

[@yaysun8854]

Bulk and skull part cracked me up hahaha love that silly song

[@esem7195]

Whooo props for using Bulk and Skull theme

[@Alex-hb8cn]

Kinda funny that the opening battle is so Space Mutiny-esque, considering that John Phillip Law played the villain in that movie...

[@Rasheedamcclintock77]

All he needs to complete that snowsuit, is a pair of Freaky Freezies! The gloves that change color in the cold!.... aahh...the 80's.

[@soulmechanics7946]

Nailed it with "first degree mullet".😂🤣😂

[@youdontknowme8129]

"We then cut to a group of thirty year olds... I mean teenagers." Ah yes, this could be said about 90% of the time for most sci-fi, and horror movies from the 70's up until now.

[@angryjoker7528]

I want 2 chad Michael Vincent in quadrant 3, 3 chad Michael Vincent in quadrant 4. Haha I laugh every time I hear chad Michael Vincent

[@MarquisSmith]

Excellent, a new review. Sleep is overrated anyway.

[@MarquisSmith]

A Brad Jones cameo?! Touché, Brandon. Touché.

[@techpriestessfeeb2780]

"oooh bet you wont see that in the next star wars movie" oh how wrong he was

[@drfr0stii704]

Someone beat you to this comment nearly five years prior. Alongside like four others that I saw.

[@techpriestessfeeb2780]

@@drfr0stii704 it happens

[@flyingcardinal]

i totally guessed you were going to use that bulk and skull music for those goof balls, lol you read my mind!

[@frankez1975]

Great job and funny as Hell....you got a new subscriber!

[@Rasheedamcclintock77]

Powerhouse Crossover!!!!!! Fkn love you Snob!!!

[@michaelalvarez4018]

Another awesome review.

[@jamesmc04]

When I saw the title, I thought “Predator-Alien crossover, or maybe hybrid”. Alienator vs. Predien ?

[@adamethridge7824]

This was on the local channels on Saturday

[@crimson381]

awesome review....keep up the good work....oh,and don't forget to review another godzilla movie

[@gdpacnw5126]

JMV rocking that "Bowie meets Brosnan" vibe.

[@rizzocalrizzian6047]

Wow! Excuse me nurse, could you check my temperature? I think I have Jan quadrant Vincent fever over here!

[@jeffreypolfuss2546]

Christmas is coming up you really have to do. Santa Conquers the Martians. Yes that movie does exist! I just watched it yesterday. And feel like I need to spread the Christmas joy.

[@sarawelling5271]

Leo Gordon, the Colonel, was legitimately rough. Raised in abject poverty and having served with honor in the Second World War, he got shot by cops in a robbery and spent several years in prison. Emerging, he devoted himself to acting and his wife of 50 years, actress Lynn Cartwright, and their daughter, Tara.

[@TheCrazyTalkKid]

Bullets and landmines slightly annoy the Alienator but chicken wire kills it? What the fudge?

[@judsongaiden9878]

This movie has those fancy Calico guns just like Spaceballs.

[@verdanthyborian2322]

Of course this video pops up in my feed after I watch the Rick and Morty episode with Jan Micheal Vincent. Man some things are way too coincidental in life. Well now I know who he is, thanks Brandon.

[@destinytroll1374]

Good work Brandon, keep it up!