Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews: BORDELLO OF BLOOD (REUPLOAD)

Buy this movie via Amazon: amzn.to/2xF8KlJ
Stream this movie via Amazon: amzn.to/2fVNL6x
It's part 2 of the Tales From The Crypt-A-Thon with "Bordello of Blood" (1996), featuring Dennis Miller vs. some well-endowed vampires! (Originally aired October 31st, 2014)
GET SOME GEAR: teespring.com/...
Support the show on Patreon: / brandontenold
TWITTER: / brandontenold
FACEBOOK: / officialbrandontenold
CHANNEL AWESOME: channelawesome....

[@chuckmckendry194]

What makes Dennis Miller's lines in this movie even better is that because he originally didn't like his character's lines, that he improvised 90% of his lines.

[@CowboyRobot2000]

From what I remember when the movie came out, he didn't like the script at all and only agreed to do it if he could write/ad lib ALL of his dialog. He was trying to get out of the SNL schtick and into movies and figured if he was stuck in a shit movie he could at least make himself stand out.

[@MunsterFan666]

Never realised this before but this one has the same ending as The Lair of the White Worm. Two people in car, vampire bite on leg etc.

[@andrewblanchard2398]

except without AMANDA DONOHOE you know what I mean

[@themovieguru1094]

Fun fact: Bordello of Blood came out the same year the seventh and last season (where the production was moved to England) of Tales from the Crypt had appeared.

[@roostercocksmith]

I've said it once and I'll say it again. Demon knight would make a great netflix series. All the different time periods and guard changes would be amazing. I wish someone would expand on that.

[@DJ_Macphisto]

It would be an awesome series. As long as the writers are good and aren't pushing a political agenda, of course.

[@xXLunatikxXlul]

@@DJ_Macphisto Agreed.

[@DensilGrant]

Its ppl like u that ruin good stuff just appreciate things for the value it had dont go sucking the life out of it

[@slimkillah76]

yes it would. it was a good movie.

[@davidanspach1624]

That is one of the better ideas I have ever heard for a series. Id write a script with you if you feel up to it.

[@nilsnyman6767]

The real reason why Billy Zane was so good in the first one...he wasn't acting, just being himself.

[@nathanforester5993]

Yep. He didn't even have any wigs that time.

[@sammieleighstyer1447]

I totally agree & the fact that you can easily tell that from his performance makes it all the funnier 😂

[@filmjunkiezach]

Billy Zane was not remotely involved with Bordello of Blood.

[@wiseguy01]

@@filmjunkiezach he specified the FIRST one... as in Demon Knight

[@dustinbrown1815]

Billy’s Zane is an awesome actor

[@seanb.6793]

Lilith - Adam's first wife, super ancient demon, and her plan boils down to vampirism? What a shame.

[@dansmith1661]

First wife who also wanted to do cowgirl and God disagreed, inventing Missionary Position for Eve.

[@andrewblanchard2398]

​@@dansmith1661 😂

[@ajerqureshi6411]

Fun Fact: Bordello of Blood was originally conceived by Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale before their Back to the Future fame. Their version of the film wasn't made, but Universal did end up taking their concept and rewriting it with director Gilbert Adler. Now I kind of want to know what the film would have been like had Zemeckis and Gale still been heavily involved.

[@pedrovallefin8406]

I imagine less raunchy and with a generally better quality.

[@ajerqureshi6411]

@@pedrovallefin8406knowing Zemeckis and Gale, probably not. I’d imagine just as raunchy but with much more smarter humor.

[@garthdavis2502]

A brothel run by vampires. Where you can get laid... to rest.

[@user-dr2yz8um3d]

Garth Davis The ultimate life or death decision: stay alive or get laid Much like the praying mantis

[@phishbon3s]

BA-DUMP-CH!

[@pathatfield2543]

You should write movie taglines

[@BroomPusher2024]

😏🤜🤛😏

[@markpugh6808]

"Care for a little deep throat" lol not the kind of deep throat he was expecting

[@leviroch]

'The skin express to tuna town'. . . That has got to be one of the most heinous pick up lines ive ever heard

[@chaossmith3864]

Yeah but tbf guy went to a whorehouse. How hard does she need to try to pick him up?

[@MrNickPresley]

@@chaossmith3864 That's a fair point, but it's still the worst pickup line I've ever heard.

[@chaossmith3864]

@@MrNickPresley Oh yeah I agree. Just saying at least it's not like an average situation.

[@DynomitePunch]

i mean yeah that line alone would make anyone think they've stepped into a fishy situation..... : D i'll go now

[@greenkoopa]

"Get up in them guts" is pretty fuckin bad too

[@dirkstuff5820]

I just figured the dude hamming up the lines when recommending the bordello was simply a Renfield character. Always crazy.

[@ihatefacebook31184]

Not only Chris Sarandon was a ruthless, bloodthirsty vampire in one movie and also fought vampires in this movie, ironically. he also fought a ruthless, psychotic soul-possessed murderous doll😁

[@andrewblanchard2398]

" YOU BELIEVE ME NOW ? " " YEAH , BUT WHO'S GONNA BELIEVE ME ? "

[@nathanforester5993]

He and Corey Feldman essentially reverse roles....he's the vampire hunter this time around, and Feldman is the one who becomes a vampire.

[@Scoonertuna]

The key artifact was going to be the only consistent thing in all tales from the crypt movies. Its function in each story would vary from film to film.

[@xXLunatikxXlul]

Have the directors stated this and if so, where?

[@SkaPilurm]

Corey Feldman rocking his finest George Michael cosplay.

[@dopedrums]

Indeed. A nice break from his usual Michael Jackson one kzbin.info/www/bejne/n4DCaaFrrpqYms0

[@Nepthu]

The main thing I remember about his movie was Angie Everheart. She's gorgeous. Her name was etched in my memory after this. Also, the Whoopi Goldberg cameo is hilarious.

[@skidmoda]

agreed that is one beautiful woman. Unclear why she didn't get anymore roles. Maybe an Epstein thing, but they gave Rings of Power to 2 no names with zero credit to their names so who knows what mad house runs the reasoning.

[@umachan9286]

Possibly the most enjoyable part of this movie was the showdown in the bordello with "Ballroom Blitz" playing. That and of course Erika Eliniak is hot as usual.

[@Moonbeam143]

"Fright Night" is my favorite vampire movie. It's the best.

[@jimbackmann7808]

And also has Chris Sarandon!

[@jimbackmann7808]

@Blade Kult duuuuudeee, *Vamp* is the shit, mayne!

[@kongstrong1938]

Lost Boys

[@lordkrythic6246]

Meh.

[@jeffthompson9622]

I like Fright Night and Near Dark equally well for different reasons.

[@animeotaku307]

14:39 Oh, come on! That's not even an original joke! The Cryptkeeper made it in the original series.

[@geraldperez2768]

That Dennis Miller impression was spot on, Brandon!!!!

[@dest151]

its a fast and cheap way to enjoy cult classics with the right amount of jokes spat out from brandon... good stuff .

[@garyhall331]

angie everheart was in bud light commercials, hence why no miller time

[@colinfarren8326]

Erika Eleniak was my pin up in the 90's, in a baywatch life guard uniform she was fit as

[@markpugh6808]

Shaunie was my favourite Baywatch babe

[@RandomUserName92840]

This movie is proof that loose clothes hide the body.

[@TheNomadicPyramid]

I remember this review. Good times. Glad to see it back on the channel

[@OldSchoolCurt]

I have so many fond memories of this film! I love this movie! Dennis Miller rocks!

[@happysad2]

12:08-12:15 your impression of the guy had me in tears from laughter 👍😂

[@eskhawk]

I dunno, I always enjoyed this movie...Probably the mix of being in love with Angie Everheart and Dennis Miller being my favorite stand up comedian....Or maybe I didn't have high expectations when I went to see it...

[@LakesideAmusementPro]

If the MCU happened in the 1990’s I could definitely see Dennis Miller being Tony Stark.

[@avalangrin4904]

LakesideAmusementPro 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[@sertank735]

Shame

[@eyeseer1]

Dennis Miller is horrid now. Chris Sarandon would be a better Iron Man.

[@BishopWalters12]

Great point, I could really see it back in 1996 or so.

[@frog1405]

@@eyeseer1 keypoint in your wording "now" they didn't say now though. They said back in the 90s.

[@LoveNeko64]

Holy cow. I watched this movie as a kid. The ending freaked me out.

[@nathanforester5993]

It's ironic how Chris Sarandon in this is basically playing the opposite of the role he played in Fright Night, in Fright Night he was a vampire - in this he's a guy who winds up having to fight vampires. Also regarding Angie Everhart, mmmmmm...i'd totally let her bite me anyday. It's no coincidence this movie has a squirtguns with holy water in them scene - because as I recall From Dusk Till Dawn was originally going to be a Tales From The Crypt feature before becoming its own movie - and both the former and Bordello came out in the same year. And also it just ocurred to me that Corey and Matt both voiced a ninja turtle (Matt Hill is Raph in Next Mutation and Corey is Donnie in the 1990 Ninja Turtles movie). Angie was also the video store clerk in Last Action Hero.

[@WillieManga]

Chris also played as the hero in Nightmare Before Christmas and the villain in The Princess Bride.

[@nathanforester5993]

WillieManga One half of Jack Skellington anyway, the speaking voice - singing was done by Danny Elfman.

[@WillieManga]

Nathan Forester The very composer behind music from Edward Scissorhands, Spider-Man, Bruce Campbell vs. The Army of Darkness, among many others, and - get this - the Tales from the Crypt opening sequence. Yep, both voices for Jack Skellington were involved with the same franchise... bound to happen, I guess.

[@Fedorevsky]

The squirtguns with holy water is stolen from Night of the Demons 2

[@nathanforester5993]

@@Fedorevsky I noticed that they borrowed heavily from there.

[@ripleyandweeds1288]

"Just in time for Women's Equality Day" I would love it is they did that on purpose.

[@julesakers3051]

What do they do that day? Fail at school, make themselves homeless, get cancer and kill themselves? Why would they do that?

[@azrael6678ify]

Anyone gonna mention that the "eat your heart out"guy voices ed in ed edd and eddy. And captain N

[@ajromero3692]

"Maybe it really is appropriate that this movie was released the same month as 'women's equality day'..." *Woman's flaming, severed head lands in punch bowl. I laughed unreasonably hard at that.

[@LowbrowDeluxe]

I have fond memories of this movie. Specifically of seeing this with my favorite redhead and "Two, four, six, eight..."

[@allenmcfarlinmcfarlin8440]

Crypt keeper used the same joke with William Sadler on the show when he was the Reaper

[@DJ_Macphisto]

The very same reaper he played in the Bill & Ted films.

[@Caine7ify]

Will you believe Corey's friend was Ed from Ed Edd n Eddy?

[@legoking6165]

Yep. It's Matt Hill.

[@that-avr-drummer]

Dennis Miller is hilarious in this! but I agree, otherwise, it's just an okay movie

[@stephennootens916]

Suddenly I feel like rewatching Dusk till Dawn.

[@mitchfletcher2386]

4:40 Wait...Matt Hill? Ed from "Ed, Edd n' Eddy" was in this movie?

[@nathanforester5993]

Yep, that is Ed alright.

[@Jellygirl313]

@@nathanforester5993 The trur ,eaning of "nostalgic".

[@Facade953]

Angie Everhart has shoot some amazing sex scenes in other movies. It's a shame that this one is more about violence and gore and doesn't focus on the dark sexuality and seductiveness of Lilith.

[@JakeTheArmyGuy]

5:24 Wait... did that say it was executive produced by Richard Donner, Joel Silver, and Robert Zemeckis?!

[@Hewylewis]

Chris Sarandon is also Jack Skellington!!

[@WillieManga]

And Dennis Miller made a cameo in The Campaign.

[@WillieManga]

Funny story, he also played as the villain with the extra finger in Princess Bride. And I just watched that movie last night.

[@Hewylewis]

No, that was Count Rugen, Chris played Prince Humperdink in that movie.

[@WillieManga]

Hewy Toonmore​​ Dang, how did I end up getting them mixed up? That was wierd. Either way, at least we've got some recognizable talents in this, complete with a Whoopi Goldberg cameo in the hospital.

[@homelesshannah50]

He was also the bad guy in the original Fright Night the BETTER version

[@Knightfall-Batman]

This movie had Matt Hill, the boys of Ed a.k.a. mono brow from Ed, Edd, n Eddy

[@gundanout11]

Ronin Warriors Armor of Wildfire.

[@ryanlesner4716]

Catherine may be wearing sun block but in the struggle it would get smudged and the car would be consumed in flames as she was exposed to the light. Plus why did Catherine kill him he had that really rare blood type..... Remember?

[@dsandoval9396]

Because... movie.

[@scockery]

Not to mention her exposed eyes.

[@boomstickcritique902]

She turned him into a vampire she had a crush on him by the end and him on her.

[@WillieManga]

9:30 What, like York from Deadly Premonition: Director's Cut? That guy was awesome.

[@garyjust.johnson1436]

We need more movies like this. Thanks Brandon, for reminding everyone what good movies are supposed to be like.

[@lyleevans8567]

This movie was OK. Enjoyed Demon Knight way more.

[@danhathaway7984]

Demon Knight was highly underrated.

[@xXLunatikxXlul]

@@danhathaway7984 that it was! I binged that movie a few times growing up, always wished there was a Part 2.

[@danhathaway7984]

@@xXLunatikxXlul Ya, and the ending totally set a sequel up too.

[@bestboutgaming3212]

Bordello is just passable dumb entertainment. Demon Knight is a cult classic

[@joeycavazos4817]

Yeah. I liked Demon Knight way better. Even tho bordello is good. Demon Knight was better

[@tannerprice2018]

REUPLODED!? YYEESSS!!!!! Now I can finally see the "Brandon's cult movie reviews" I never could! TAKE THAT COPYRIGHT NOTICES!!!!!

[@cryptking6283]

"SNL Dennis Miller not Fox News Dennis Miller!" So spot on.

[@ccthedragon4684]

Can I just say I love Tales from The Crypt.

[@theotherghostgirl337]

I almost wonder if the sex pervert guy delivered his lines that way because the director kept telling him to ham It up more

[@petercharleskrug]

17:10 To be fair, this is actually a pretty accurate portrayal of many religious fundamentalists, obsessing over people who have out-of-wedlock sex instead of murdering or doing anything that actually harms others.

[@jmdnelson4891]

Demon Knight was light years BETTER!!

[@beckystainer1153]

HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@xXLunatikxXlul]

@@beckystainer1153 Hell yes.

[@henrymockingbird9645]

I love the crypt keeper head joke at 23:14

[@Jackie-McCann]

This is basically a holy grail when it comes to your reviews! And I am so glad to finally be able to watch it! :D

[@patrickols]

Always like Dennis Miller so this one is my favourite!

[@jonathandp81]

Thank you for re-uploading this!

[@WillieManga]

No, JC is actually a reference to Jack Cayman, former military super soldier from MadWorld. JK

[@AliceBowie]

Bill Sadler was starred in the first episode of tales from the crypt on HBO, as the executioner who gets laid off. He was in the intro/outro of another episode as Death, the same character he played in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, too. And of course he was in Demon Knight and this one. I think he was in a few other episodes, but don't remember off hand.

[@jillheise4392]

I wonder if Charlie Sheen took Corey Feldman to that brothel the first time...

[@slim420MM]

Thats where the title comes from.

[@scockery]

Bordello of Tiger Blood? Can vampires get HIV?

[@ryansextremegaming]

21:20 How does Lilith know how to stop the TV broad cast?

[@OldSchoolCurt]

For some reason I absolutely love this film! Dennis Miller is awesome!

[@DrakeKnight99]

The laser was a pretty interesting idea. Never seen it before

[@timothynelissen948]

Chris Sarandon is probably best known for playing prince humperdink in the princess bride

[@cipherthedemonlord8057]

Man I've never finished watching this movie. And cool to see Miller in here and actually know who he is after many years.

[@matthewg666]

The movie did, at least, have a great soundtrack - Thin Lizzy, Sweet, Anthrax, Humble Pie, etc. But, yeah, Demon Knight was spades better and is still a favorite movie of mine.

[@thedude804]

I actually really like Dennis Miller in this movie. I thought he was hilarious.

[@danielkelley2784]

I still think its crazy that from dust till dawn was a Tales from Crypt script originally

[@frederikminten2898]

"If one member of the addams family opens the door,im out of here"

[@fatloser7244]

I don't think Bordello of Blood was that bad. It was fairly entertaining.

[@darthgriffin7741]

Blind Brazilian Tex Atlantis it isn’t about “getting a movie”, it’s just whether or not you like a movie.

[@Largentina.]

@Blind Brazilian Tex Atlantis Yeah, the people that dislike this movie, definitely just didn't "get it." You're adorable.

[@FischerFilmStudio]

Im pretty sure Vincent is played by the guy who played the Troll in Troll.

[@Dru2037]

The Tales from the Crypt movies never captured the horror of the tv series.

[@unitedamericans8587]

Bordello of Blood killed all future CRYPT movies!!!

[@GiantPantherTX]

oh no. truly a loss to american cinema for all time.

[@toddgarver5397]

@@GiantPantherTX Indeed. Tales from the Crypt is great television. Now all we've got left in the way of tv horror is Keeping up with the Kardashians

[@heavymetal3577]

How could they have made 🧛🏻‍♂️ Bordello of Blood Better like Demon knight 👹🧟‍♂️

[@Loonaticx]

Brandon, you are by far my favorite reviewer on KZbin.

[@TheEyez187]

3:51 - Another cameo. Those are Chucky's eyes (Child's Play!)

[@Diamhea]

20:07 LOL that effect

[@Wix_Mitwirth]

"That is the second craziest fucking thing...!" is the best line ever ... maybe.

[@weedongding]

Any assurances that this one won't be taken down again?

[@RedDragonM1]

A member of the young punks? One of them is Matt Hill!!! you might not know him, but you may know his voice....He's ED in "Ed, Edd, N' Eddy"! And Kira Yamato in "Gundam SEED"!!!

[@XombieZach]

3:55 Funny thing,they used this opening and closing already in an episode of the TV show,instead of a mummy William Sadler played his Death character from Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey,so that's two things that got recycled in this movie.

[@Egryn]

Please do Evil Bong and it’s sequel

[@Wrathnicangel104]

Fun fact: the guy in the bandana is Matt Hill the known voice actor of Ed (ed, edd, n Eddy), Pyrus (War Planets), and Ryo (Ronin Warriors).

[@ihatefacebook31184]

I find it ironic that Corey Feldman kicked vampire's asses in one movie and became a vampire in this movie LOL

[@Karter315]

I'm sorry but I love that dude's (Biker Bobcat) acting. Easily my favorite part of the movie.

[@bloodrunsclear]

Dennis looks like Wolfman Jack in this

[@judsongaiden9878]

16:13 There's no half-cock position on a double-action revolver. On guns that are able to be half-cocked, like lever-action rifles for example, the half-cock position blocks the trigger from being pulled and functions as a safety (though it's not 100% reliable since the hammer can still be struck under unfavorable circumstances). Anyway, that revolver is just plain "cocked." And since it's a double-action, it doesn't need to be. 18:39 Was that an X-Files reference? 20:30 Why is he holding a piece like that?! His index finger is on the cylinder - which rotates - plus the cylinder gap is right there. Hot gases escape from that spot. Depending on caliber, you'd either burn your fingertips or get your fingertips blasted off if any of your fingers were near there. My point is - use proper technique, you maggots! All y'all! All you movie people! Stop being idiots and use guns properly! 23:13 Remember the "chop poker" story from those EC horror comics?

[@zmbdog]

It's Hollywood, they're not gonna get guns right. We're lucky they aren't pointing them in the wrong direction.

[@judsongaiden9878]

@@zmbdog And we've seen what the result of that is, right?

[@williammatthews693]

Well at least this movie has Dennis Miller's sense of humor and Angie Everhart's... well Angie Everhart.

[@DoubleKay31]

Chris Sarandon was also Prince Humperdinck in “The Princess Bride”, a transgender person in “Dog Day Afternoon”, the English dub voice of Kurotoa in the English dub of “Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind” and the speaking voice of Jack Skellington in “The Nightmare Before Christmas” both movie and two (or three) video games.

[@Atomic_Mousetrap]

Was the biker guy supposed to be Renfield?

[@williamsheets9105]

Heard somewhere that Miller ad lib'd most of his dialogue.

[@RPGmodsFan]

Damn, wish I had a chance to watch the original uploaded version.

[@OneManParade]

A friend of mine won a 7UP contest to be an extra in this movie.

[@MultiBillyW]

Is there still any plans, for a reveiw of Ritual? Has there ever been one?

[@Cherryberrygirl89]

He did check his playlistl

[@kurtjk01]

I have to share that, just as Feldman says, "Oh, my god!" it cut to a commercial starting with Sir Charles Barkley reclining on a couch. Biggest laugh all day. Thank you, algorithm!

[@AdmiralBison]

This was the "BEST GOODDAAMMN REVIEW...of Bordello of blood...IN THE GOODDAMMN WORLD!" :P

[@sigmacademy]

12:28. You know you are dealing with an unhinged doctor when he starts playing with a rubber doll. XD

[@vanillagorillabeast]

Great review brother!

[@discountaccountstudios8789]

Do gremlins or ghoulies

[@dragonlordthekingofdragons6373]

Lilith isn't a vampire Lilith is a succubus which was originally the first woman but Adam didn't love her and Devil did so she fell in love with the Devil becoming the first Succubus

[@dragonlordthekingofdragons6373]

@Not My real name no there's a version of the bible

[@ramonantoniobennett-ryuuke6301]

She's alledgedly the first wife of Adam, ALLEGEDLY!

[@The_finestsocialworker]

Ahhh Chris Sarandon, also Detective Norris from Child's Play

[@Killiananderson40]

Are we ever going to get Ritual?

[@SalusFuturistics]

It just strikes me. The Crypt Keeper sounds Monsoon from Metal Gear Rising.