Breakups Can Be Brutal - How Can I Move On When I Keep Looking Back? (w/ Andrew and Sarah Swafford)

"You are either going to marry that person you are dating or.. you are going to breakup!"
While this might be the truth of any romantic relationship we enter into, it can be painful when that relationship ends. It can feel like failure when we go through a breakup.
Today, Dr. Andrew and Sarah Swafford share a word of encouragement from their new book, "Gift and Grit" on how to deal with the pain of any breakup and how to move forward in the truth of knowing your worth and dignity.
Get your own copy of "Gift and Grit: How Heroic Virtue Can Change Your Life and Relationships:" ascensionpress.com/giftandgrit/
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[@ItsChrisFtw]

I just finished a meeting with my spiritual director about potential wounds from a secular relationship in my past, and this pops up. There are no coincidences in the mind of God. Thank you for your fortuitous timing Ascension Presents. Glory to God.

[@youtubeKathy]

I went through this a few times since dating again after divorce. I think the best advice, and the best approach that I learned, was just let the feelings wash over you and sit with the hurt. But only allow it for a set time, then pull yourself up and move on with your day. over time it eases, day by day. Also, no contact. none. and lastly, go to adoration, turn to prayer. put it all in Gods hands, and trust in Christ.

[@eaolson43613]

Recently went through one of the best breakups I've had. She realized her adult children would never accept my Catholic views. It would result in a forever rift in the family. There was a sensation of peace for me. It wasn't on bad terms just realizing the relationship would not work out due to different priorities. I will admit the.normal ending is pressure to violate a boundary or that one party isn't ready for a relationship that wants to last. Excellent advice.

[@amandachastain1884]

You guys are the best. I love your books!! I just finished Grit and Grace and feel like I need to read it again. This speaks to my heart...but it hard when you're older than a young adult and you're in your early 40's still trying to find your partner for life. I definitely need to be the boss of my thoughts. Thanks for your wonderful minister. You all are the best. Prayers for you and all you do.

[@ChildofGod98765]

HEAVENLY Father please hear my prayers also please continue to give me courage. These past three years have been difficult on me and my children. Since my heart attack I haven’t been the same. At times I feel alone especially as a single mother. Having children with special needs can be difficult at times and now that I’m homeschooling them my hours to work are limited. Lord give me strength I’m still struggling to support my children and I’m so ashamed. But even as I struggle to pay rent and I struggle to buy groceries. I KEEP FAITH in you LORD. Lord hear my prayers I’m so overwhelmed and discouraged. JESUS SAVE ME FROM THIS CYCLE OF POVERTY I’ve been facing. Please keep me encouraged because I want to give up. Lord hear my prayers.

[@MeganM-of5uj]

May God bless you dearly love. If you need to talk reach out 🩷

[@youtubeKathy]

pray to St. Joseph.

[@mariamartin94]

This person has been posting the same story on multiple Catholic podcasts for years.

[@youtubeKathy]

@@mariamartin94 maybe she needs prayers. it's not like this kind of a situation resolves overnight after all.

[@mariamartin94]

She’s got CashApp, PayPal and Venmo listed on her account because she just wants prayers.

[@unclemano]

"Every (romantic) relationship will end up in marriage or a breakup" is not true. Every romantic relationship will end in heartbreak. Period. That's not a bad thing. It's part of the risk we take in loving someone. If you're dating you end up either breaking up after awhile or married. If you get married, you may get divorced or it may work out long term. If you you make it to "till death do us part" then one spouse will typically die first, which leaves the other with a broken heart. None of this is bad but just a part of life. Sometimes marriage is framed as a final destination that solves all your problems. It isn't. It's a part of life with it's own unique challenges and blessings that don't trump being single. Whatever stage you're in -- single and not dating, dating, or married, just appreciate where you are and the blessings and challenges that come with it. And continue to put God first in everything you do.

[@CatholicKatherine]

Should have Lillian Fallon do this video - the Swaffords got married very young - need advice from people who have gone through breakups recently and real adult breakups

[@blondetapperware8289]

Just the resource I've been looking for!

[@Bmmrl]

I agree. My most recent break up has been the greatest gift of clarity.

[@strawberrysmile2212]

Thank you God❤️ I am just discerning my 4,5 year relationship and I feel that deep down in the bottom of my heart my current boyfriend and I do not fit well together. My mom also says so. I just really don't want to hurt him and also I am afraid of how to handle singleness afterwards. I grew up with him - now I am 22. 😕 Please pray for us 🙏

[@thestrugglingperfectionist]

Oh girl! I was you 20 years ago. Had been with the same person for 6 years, starting early in high school until I was well into college. We both grew up and the ending result did not mesh well but we (I) kept on because ‘we had already been together for x long’. Marriage was discussed but I couldn’t trust him further than I could spit. My self esteem was so far in the gutter. Ugh. I walked away and didn’t look back. I couldn’t. It hurt. It was hard. We had so many mutual friends. I met my husband a mere days after I broke things off. God works in mysterious ways! Be strong in handling single hood. Take the time to get to know yourself and pray for the right person to come along that completes you. ❤

[@strawberrysmile2212]

@@thestrugglingperfectionist thank you so much for your encourraging comment! I'll write about my decision, but I think today or tomorrow I will end our relationship.

[@sitka49]

You need to look at the other side of this is that it's Mr fair for him if you're going to drag this out and eventually break up with him away. I would sit down and have a Heart to Heart discussion with him what it is you want out of this relationship you obviously had some thing that attracted you to him? Or cut him loose and let him find somebody else that will love and appreciate him.

[@nickramirez5579]

Thanks guys. Went through a breakup about 6 months ago with a great Catholic woman I thought I could marry. I’ve been dealing with those exact thoughts of feeling worthless and not enough since then. I really needed to hear this. Thank you again.

[@simple_naildesigns]

Appreciate this ❤🙏🏽

[@mazikode]

Excellent show

[@ashtonlochtefeld5813]

Wow this was incredible. I absolutely y’all the swaffords ❤

[@johnnypop-tart335]

I'm just ken. And I'm enough. I am also very good at doing stuff

[@philfrank5601]

Imagine what a good feeling it must be for BOTH of these Catholics who, after dating lots during their single years, STILL were able to lose their virginity to each other in marriage. In theory, anyway! Unlike what society encourages with hookup culture: high partner counts well before marriage, those feelings of past relationships that people bring into their marriages. It's just not the way it was meant to be. Let's raise our children with Catholic values about sex, and save them the pains of promiscuity. Let's encourage our young men and women to repect one another. It needs to happen, as the alternative is causing so much pain and suffering. God bless you all

[@fumievada2341]

Thanks for this message… that make myself strong 😅

[@Hiccupus]

I wish I was more grateful for my friends during a breakup.

[@epic5945]

Nice advice but how do you explain praying for the right person and it never happens?

[@seans.1331]

Being honest 👍 “Your meaning must be unequivocal; no doubts or demurs: and such expressions of gratitude and concern for the pain you are inflicting as propriety requires...” ~Emma Woodhouse

[@rosiegirl2485]

I would love to know how to process a break up of my marriage of 33 years! I cannot stop this train wreak!

[@leyblinders3354]

There is not much (or almost any) Catholic guidance (because this makes a big difference compared to what the world tells you) on that and I was talking to God about this, and days later u appeared in my notifications. Glory to God! Thanks, guys❤

[@francesbernard2445]

Some relationships end in death of one person in the relationship. The Lord does not expect us to remain in a marriage no matter what while it is killing us due to increasing levels of coersion and violence. Leaving a relationship like that is not proof we are a weak quitter unless we are not managing to maintain our faith in god well enough when not asking for help about that to hear the positives from another person besides ourselves. Of course there is positive and then there is 'positive' support of the kind which is not beneficial to us.

[@annabelpeter8163]

She's so pretty 😮

[@jojomcelwee1380]

♥️

[@debbie2027]

MEMENTO Mori .....relationships end because of death too

[@fragwagon]

Is this the alternate universe Angel family

[@leigh-anncalotes5301]

😂