Bretonnia Sucks

I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them.
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/ @pancreasnowork9939
Music:
Sunless Sea - Submergio Vol
Age of Empires - Tracks 2 and 8
Age of Mythology - In a Pile of Its Own Good

[@pancreasnowork9939]

I wish all Bretonnia simps a very death by Karl Franz

[@qrangejuice8225]

Another point: Empire nobles and captains ride Griffons: Half Eagle, Half *Lion.* Bretonnians ride Hippogriffs: Half Eagle, Half... Horse. Lion vs. Horse. Who wins? Not rainbow dash that's for goddamn sure

[@y1751]

@@qrangejuice8225>runs away >attacks you when you are unprepared

[@jakepel3117]

Even as a Bretonnia fan I have to agree with most of your points. Except to the cuck part. Bretonnia are clearly simps not cucks, two different things. Despite Bretonnia knights simping for Ze Lady and drinking her bathwater I still like them.

[@Ahrone1586]

@@jakepel3117 buy they are cucks, not all the fucking kingdom have access to the lady, and if they will they are cucks nodaways

[@ianlachey1726]

You should do a do or don’t of ogre maw tribes and just constantly have images of them with backgrounds of them in Walmart as just average customers

[@gregburrow3350]

“ ladies in lakes, distributing swords does not form a basis of government” some diabetic probably

[@sovietunion7643]

if i had a nickel for everytime that joke was made on the vermintide subbreddit i swear

[@soccerandtrack10]

@@sovietunion7643 swear what?

[@soccerandtrack10]

It's the logic racism is based on. Racism is based on emotion,not logic.

[@Meme-Weeb-Dweeb]

@@soccerandtrack10 What the hell happened here?

[@primary2630]

@@soccerandtrack10 he'd swear that elven ladies in ponds distributing swords is no basis of governance. I'd argue the opposite. If a thick thighed elven goddess gave me a sword from a lake and said I was king, I'd let no one tell me otherwise.

[@presidentofthegalaxy3642]

Bretonnian fan here. I'd like to say that you are in fact wrong about the horse sodomization, I have only sodomized 1 horse in my lifetime who happens to be my legally married life partner. Thank you very much.

[@ivanmatijevic862]

Your name says it all, that is completely normal and well adjusted behaviour

[@runningcommentary2125]

Ancient Indo-European tribes on what is now the Russian steppe believed a man who had sexual relations with an animal must die... unless said animal was a horse, in which case they believed no sin had been committed.

[@presidentofthegalaxy3642]

@@runningcommentary2125 true?

[@runningcommentary2125]

@@presidentofthegalaxy3642 I would look for a source to be sure, but I'm not sure I want to Google it.

[@zeromaster1997]

@@runningcommentary2125 oh common man, you have already typed it, how worse could possibly get?

[@spitandfire]

"I'm an elf simp" well that's it. That's a grudgin! And it's going in the book!

[@pancreasnowork9939]

Whatever bud, you can’t unshave the beard.

[@infinity8564]

@@pancreasnowork9939 YOU FOOKIN DONE IT NOW KNIFE EAR

[@spitandfire]

@@pancreasnowork9939 "Right donkey. Now you've earned a smacked bottom!" Quote attributed to Shrek. Of the lesser known green ogre tribe. 2522, after the infamous "Can't unshave that beard" comment in the same year by some bloody self confessed elf simp.

[@DylanJo123]

@@pancreasnowork9939 Thats it, im getting me mallet, wazzok

[@sarahhillary7698]

NEVER TRUST AN ELF!

[@birdknight6616]

Bretonnia would be so much cooler if the foil with the Empire wasn't "Flanderized serfdom" but instead an Elf-influenced nation of former horse-going and agrarian tribes advancing via magic as opposed to the Empire's gunpowder and Dwarfen allies.

[@spamquisition4046]

That would be so cool actually. It's already sort of there if you really look into it and tilt your head a bit but they could go all out with the Elf influence really.

[@12halo3]

@@spamquisition4046 than you would lose out on the super soldier blessed magic knights.

[@spamquisition4046]

@@12halo3 I mean, they're already very heavily Elf influenced in the lore. But even disregarding that, super soldier holy magic knights can be seen as lowly human attempt to emulate the glorious Silver Helms and Dragon Princes of the High Elves. No reason why more elf influence can't mix with the Arthurian/Medieval influences.

[@Frantichairguy]

Weird way to say Tilea.

[@Rhonerin]

That would be cool and have some basis in history because as a general rule water unites and land (especially mountains) divides. That means it would make some sense that bretonnia evolved closer to the elves rather than the humans of the empire.

[@Ekaidseaky]

The bretonnians are good because the industrial society is cringe

[@pancreasnowork9939]

Only acceptable counterargument

[@buivantuanlam5316]

While industrial society is indeed cringe, without it you wouldn't be here to write this comment rn.

[@Connordaboss45]

@@buivantuanlam5316 case and point

[@juwebles4352]

@@buivantuanlam5316 Not true, i'd put my dumb thoughts on the town bulletin board and be hung for heresy

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

Valid point. However, in that realm, Brettonia is just bad Lizardmen. Lizardmen are rocking that pre-industrial technology better than anyone. You want labor organization without industry? BAM, communist utopia caste system where everyone is born happy to do what they were born to do, and even the ones that actually don't are accepted as being unique enough to be allowed to. Even the Kroxigors. And then Lizardmen turn around and are like "Wait. You guys don't even have levitating boats, power fists, or rocket ships? Plebs." Lizardmen keep the Beastmen up at night. They have no technology, and yet have all the technology, and no gor wants anything to do with a Saurus. Lizardmen are really just better Brettonia, when you think about it. Their cavalry is also entirely comprised of mating pairs, so you can still live out that "My Little Pony, Friendship with Benefits" dream that draws people to Brettonia in the first place.

[@yarus5889]

>Is an elf simp >is bad against cavalry despite having a GLORIOUS LINE OF SPEARS Bruh

[@robertcapestany6019]

That's a grudgin'.

[@JIMT412]

This reaffirms the point of Elves being shitty against melee

[@soccerandtrack10]

@@JIMT412 this explains everything, why he hates Korn too. Not the food,the Korn God of murder.

[@RealMothman98]

​@@soccerandtrack10Khorne*

[@brainfreezzzze6900]

Yah meam khorne? Or khaine?

[@irontemplar6222]

Reason: "I can't kill Cavalry. At all, and they have mostly Cavalry." Me: ah the truth.

[@Bluecho4]

Allow a fool to keep talking, and they'll hoist themselves by their own petard.

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

Cavalry is super easy to kill. Just like, hit them.

[@guywholikesmemes4993]

@@aprinnyonbreak1290 massive brain confirmed

[@attemptedunkindness3632]

@@aprinnyonbreak1290 This is why he dislikes Khorne: their strategies are just too complicated for PancreasNoWork to understand.

[@ianduarte1992]

@@attemptedunkindness3632 thats going too far man... i mean, Khorne is the defacto unga bunga faction, so failing to understanding their tactics is a feat worthy of only the smotthest brains to ever exist.

[@Connordaboss45]

My favorite story of bretonnians is when a grailknight picked up a black orc and broke him over his knee.

[@thepopulargirl1784]

Bretane vs Orc-man

[@pancreasnowork9939]

Even Neanderthals can be badass every now and then.

[@adamhadamcik385]

@@pancreasnowork9939 you mean norscans ?

[@discountplaguedoctor88]

@@adamhadamcik385 Nah, he means Bretonnians. Norsca at least has mammoths and demonic werewolves.

[@brainfreezzzze6900]

Hmm that looks like A woosh to me Get fucked

[@Connordaboss45]

Sounds like someone got flanked by some knights again lol

[@pancreasnowork9939]

NO

[@Ilprimariogaming]

😂😂😂

[@SeraphimRoad]

"Counter this you filthy casual!" - Dwarven Helicopter Door Gunner

[@Yotamb9]

People often misunderstand the Lilieth being the Lady of the Lake thing as an Elves are superior thing. In reality, the reveal in the End Times was that Lilieth became the Bretonnians' goddess because she was disappointed by how shitty and lame Elves are so she chose the chad Bretonnian humans as her new champions. The actual reveal wasn't that Elves cucked Bretonnia, but that Bretonnia cucked the Elves.

[@Icebergeification]

Stop deluding yourself, it would be cool if that where true but we all know its not

[@Yotamb9]

@@Icebergeification That is what actualy happened, Lilieth was disappointed in the Elves but was impressed by the Bretonnians high morals and chivelry so she chose them as her champions instead of the Elves.

[@9051team]

@@Icebergeification from what 8 can tell its actual lore, what you on about?

[@azorat1976]

@@9051team he's delusional

[@Salted_Fysh]

@@Yotamb9 what are you talking about? Lilieath specifically mentions that the only reason she raised up the Bretonnians is to serve as a bulwark for the Elves and that having forseen the End Times she needed Warriors to serve as Guardians for the Haven she had created to safeguard the Elves - that being the Grail Knights that were resurrected and brought to Haven after their death. She used the Bretonnians as tools to protect what was dear to her - the Elves and her Daughter who was to rule over them in the New World. And the only reason she uplifted the Bretonni at all was because she hadn't been allowed to make her own race. Hell, she doesn't give a damn about the Bretonnian peasants and only really interacts with her Grail Knights. I'm not sure where you're getting the disappointment angle from. Do you have a source?

[@BossEvasion]

Funny that the Green Knight of Arthurian Legend was actually cooler than in the Warhammer Fantasy being a dude that can survive decapitations and teaching valuable lessons of chivalry rather than a souped-up Grail Knight. Though that might be my bias towards axes rather than swords, they just feel more satisfying to cleave and throw with.

[@Connordaboss45]

There are bretonnian lords with axes

[@jakepel3117]

Bretonnia Green Knight also survives decapitations and teaches valuable lessons. GW aren't very original...

[@vicentetemes5793]

Arthurian Green Knight was a motherfucking fae hitman. A hitfae.

[@alexrexaros9837]

If anything, Arthurian legends are better than all of Warhammer lore, on top of being precious patrimony to both England and France. People still analyse the tales of the Knights of the round table still to this very day.

[@jhonnoilcringeincarnato8593]

Yeah swords are overrated i recently became fond of machetes

[@thepopulargirl1784]

I liked the old Bretonnia lore better. Seemed like an actually cool place back then instead of just a Flanderisation of medieval serfdom. Even made a dnd character inspired by the old lore.

[@Reaper99kf]

Could you give a tldr on what they were like in the old lore?

[@jayusmaximus2322]

@@Reaper99kf From what I remember (could be blurred from 1d4chan so take with grain of salt and laugh if I'm wrong) Pretty sure it was like a Meritocracy where if you could walk the walk and talk the talk for your village , you could be semi decent in life. Example : you a farmer convince your village to forge you armor / weapon and you go slay the big mean thing over the hill. You return with its head and boom , you're a knight cause you walked the walk. So anyone could rise up basically and be a badass along everyone else

[@Reaper99kf]

@@jayusmaximus2322 wow that actually sounds infinitely better than the inbred cosplaying simps we got in the updated fantasy lore.

[@pancreasnowork9939]

It was certainly better before but unfortunately I would still hate it regardless because I cannot counter cavalry.

[@plaidpvcpipe3792]

Yeah it's way cooler.

[@R17inator]

Funnily enough, Bretonnia's navy outside of Total War did invest in modern tech like guns and is supposedly the strongest human navy in the Warhammer Fantasy world because they were somehow exempt or found loopholes around the intensive medieval and elf larping of the knights on land.

[@MK_ULTRA420]

"No guns on land." "Are ships land?" "No" "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

[@alejandronieto4212]

So, like in actual medieval times, got it.

[@alejandronieto4212]

@windrose5988 did they made ship cannons before ground cannons? I know big ground cannons were generally unreliable in battle (which btw, would kinda apply to ship battles too), more generally intended to sieges, but if they were still used in naval warfare before sieges, the point would stand... If they were used in sieges, I still intended this as a joke, but will gladly accept my mistake.

[@Gorbz]

If the Man O War game is anything to go by, Brettonians mounted catapaults and trebuchets on their ships.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

​@windrose5988 actually the Ottomans had one of the most powerful navies in the Mediterranean & therefore the world at the time... it was widely considered the height of folly for Russia who has always had a very weak Naval history in comparison to Western Europe, to have constructed a large fleet from basically scratch then fill it with untrained sailors way up at St Petersburg in the Baltic. They sailed that fleet all the way around to refit in Naples before taking on the Ottoman navy around Greece... it was a shock to literally everyone when Russia actually won the Naval engagement

[@TheLostPrimarch2nd]

I think GW desire for grimmdark and, similar to the space marines, having the empire as one of the main faces of the fantasy genre, Bretonnia was fucked over by 6th edition, where they went from noble warriors relaying in faith and magic over gunpowder and praying to a elven goddess that preferred humans for their selfelness and humility than elves, and that strive fro the best possible values, thus, making them the knight of the Round Table, but agins eldritch abominations, to what they now are. Even in their own books the guys of the empire are seeing as kinder people and value life a lot more. The empire, known for their political infighting, civil wars and witch burning. They literally took everything bad with the empire and gave it to to bretonnia. Hell, when I write bretonnian stories, I always go back to that old lore where they stand as paragons and great guys, being the definition of a Chad. But hey, each one to his likings. We all know you hate them beacause you cannot counter cavalry. And that is OK.

[@CT--ko8js]

A similarly story happened to the tau, because people couldn’t handle the idea that you can have a morally good faction act as a foil to the morally ambiguous empire

[@TheLostPrimarch2nd]

@@CT--ko8js True, but I alway thought that the Tau retcon was quite nice, mainly because it shows how the cast system keeps control and obedience by any means, and it makes Farsight a lot more of a badass. Had the tau been a democracy, then it would have been quite out of place. Also, I'm a Humanity FUCK YEAH kind of guy, so the tau sterilizing humans gives another excuse to purge xenos.

[@Bluecho4]

@@CT--ko8js It's not even so much that original Tau were good. It's that they were "merely" an expantionist military power that projected both hard and soft power, as a means of creating a hegemony. That the hegemony would be done in the interests of "the Greater Good" is at least partially, if not wholly, an honest aspiration in the empire's proponents. (Fun fact: one of the creators of the Tau likened them more to NATO than to any comparisons to states like China.)

[@CT--ko8js]

@@TheLostPrimarch2nd perhaps it was that the Brctonnain retcon went too far in making them douchebaggy that it forgot the ultimate purpose Bretonnia was supposed to serve in setting.

[@CT--ko8js]

@@TheLostPrimarch2nd which sucks because bretonnia is a great foil for the empire and could even be better with some more emphasis on magic than the empire

[@plaidpvcpipe3792]

Bretonnia is the best when you use the old lore. Imagine if you had all of its issues, but then they were all super heroic and good guys. Like, then they'd actually be way cooler. And their knights would be even bigger chads. Like, holy shit these people are fuckin insane. Grail Knights are all God damn WWE champions. Oh, and the idea that the Lady chose the Bretonnians over Elves for their humility and kindness is just super cool.

[@Salted_Fysh]

Bretonnians. Humility and kindness... We're talking about the same oppressive regime of nobles with near unlimited power where peasants are treated like shit, right? Besides, in the End Times it's made very clear that Lileath only used the Bretonnians to create a bulwark for the Elves and to create Guardians for her Haven (for the Elves) that she left her daughter (an elf). And she only used them at all because she wasn't allowed to make her own race. Lileath doesn't give an iota of a damn about any Bretonnians other than those suitable to become Grail Knights. Long story short, they're tools.

[@plaidpvcpipe3792]

@@Salted_Fysh I explicitly said that I’m talking about the older lore where they weren’t like that.

[@Salted_Fysh]

@@plaidpvcpipe3792 hasn't the treatment and lot of peasants always been the same in Bretonnia lore? Admittedly, I'm not an expert. I mean they _are_ modelled after french nobility so...

[@plaidpvcpipe3792]

@@Salted_Fysh no it hasn’t. And the extent of the cruelty of the Bretonnian nobles in “modern” lore isn’t even accurate to the Middle Ages. If that place were real, either the peasants would all starve to death and the knights would die with their systems soon after or the peasants would all rebel and kill the knights. And no, Bretonnia hasn’t always been this way. The society used to be more meritocratic and the people more heroic. That was changed in an effort to make it “grimdark.”

[@Salted_Fysh]

@@plaidpvcpipe3792 well, purely from the inspirational standpoint, Bretonnia would likely be placed between 9th and 12th century france/britain which is also time of the establishment of most European formalized royal court systems and literature as well as the beginning of Feudalism and the heavy presence of serfdom. It depends on the region of where they lived of course but as far as we can tell (hard to do because not a popular topic with contemporary writers) serfs were generally a little better off than slaves but not by much. Most commonly the protection they enjoyed was that they couldn't be sold individually and that technically their bondage could be paid off through their own work. Technically. The lord was also 'obligated' to provide protection against banditry. Realistically speaking they had no legal representation because their lord _was_ their legal representation. In other words, they had about as many rights as they were allowed to have by their lord so long as he did not grossly overstep his bounds by massacring them. As for revolts - didn't really happen. Peasants didn't have the training or equipment necessary to launch successful revolts. Trying to flee the land towards the cities and holding out until you had lived there long enough to become a legal citizen was safer than trying to fight your lord - in which case even if you suceeded you would have just been killed anyway and your family would have received punishment too. Yes, we've had peasant uprisings in history but with very few exceptions most either ended before they started or were brutally crushed.

[@Connordaboss45]

Bretonnia uses cannons, they're actually common in naval warfare and are a naval power.

[@dark7element]

Yep, because gunpowder weapons are banned "in the lands of Bretonnia"... and, well, ships aren't in the *LANDS* of Bretonnia, are they?

[@giacomoromano8842]

-Tomb kings ships have mounted in heat lasers. -Your argument is invalid. *leave*.

[@Connordaboss45]

@@giacomoromano8842 Tomb Kings also smell bad, and have bad teeth.

[@jhonnoilcringeincarnato8593]

@@giacomoromano8842 skaven have nukes your argument is invalid

[@someirishguy1662]

Yeah Manowar lore claimed the Bretonnian navy to be extremely powerful

[@DeusExAngelo]

“This not only proves the elves are the best..” I’mma stop you right there, Warmblood. Yeah, the prissy knife-ears might’ve made the Vortex to siphon Chaos, but only thanks to the Geomantic Web and the Lizardmen doing all the heavy lifting. Also they aren’t a race composed of dinosaurs, pterosaurs, crocodilians, and toads that can twist Hydras into knots with their minds. Also Sigmar has nothing on Sotek. [ This post is part of the Great Plan. ]

[@pancreasnowork9939]

Interesting argument with valid points. But have you considered cope seethe mald dilate?

[@DeusExAngelo]

@@pancreasnowork9939 I must admit, I cannot find such a consideration on my plaques. There is many passages regarding Rampage though.

[@gudboah4688]

Sounds like the elves and lizardmen are the chads of warhammer.

[@jhonnoilcringeincarnato8593]

Please lizardmen-thing your god-deity is nothing but a snake-thing ya found-discovered slithering-crawling in a swamp-lake in a forgotten-unremembered region of your accursed jungle-forest and your frog-toad-things are all busy blabbing-bragging about constellations-firmaments and sleeping-dreaming at the same time [ this post was made-created by clan esshin ]

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

@@gudboah4688 Lizardmen are the chads. In the true Chad sense, where while being overall very positive, there are some very clear issues with carelessness. Did Lizardmen make almost everything the thing Elves use to prove their moral superiority? Yes. Are the Daemons everyone else fights usually just the leftovers from Lizardmen kicking ass? Yes. Is Lord Kroak LITERALLY SAVING THE WORLD EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY? Yes. Did some Slann also genocide the Dwarfs on a level that would make Grimgor, Skarsnik, and Queek cream themselves on a whim because some rocks were in the wrong place. and then get away with it because the one guy that blamed fat frog men from the other side of the world was ignored? Also yes. Are some Saurus coming to eat you because The Plan decided Saurus needed absolutely zero chill? Definitely. That's just Lizardmen things. High Elves are actually the textbook virgins. They are overly concerned with their own status, take massive credit for things they have marginal roles in, yet constantly undermine their own image by being incredibly insecure and easy to pivot into extreme emotional outbursts, like that tine Malekith threw a tantrum because nobody else agreed he was as special as his mommy told him (remember, he was still a High Elf then.) High Elves are that person with a resume so caked in bullshit that it's sticky. And the Empire, of course, are Sigmas, because that's the closest to Sigmar.

[@LuizHenrique-zw5su]

Bretonnia was the perfect setting for a Napoleon like guy to arrive, but no age of ligma need to exist.

[@semorebutts2584]

Keep your short French king out of my Ancient Wales.

[@mrbigglezworth42]

In a great case of rules lawyering, the Navy of Bretonnia does in fact use cannons and other gunpowder weapons. Because technically, they don't use them on the lands of Bretonnia.

[@atpsoldat6108]

While I understand you being happy with Bretonnia being deleted, I'm still sad that they also deleted the Tomb Kings along with them.

[@rivereclipse2186]

Tomb kings deserve better

[@pancreasnowork9939]

The Tomb Kings were done a horrible disservice to a really cool faction

[@commandercostas]

I miss them

[@DeusExAngelo]

True enough, but at the same time Settra went out in the most Settra way possible. Spitting in face of the Chaos Gods for daring to think they could order him around, then deciding to wage war on all them solo, conquer their realms, and then come back for Nagash when he was done. He also beat Kholek Suneater in single combat. Also, for all we know, Settra is still in the Realms of Chaos, and may yet return to usurp Nagash from his throne.

[@nerdyvids1]

@@DeusExAngelo Imagine if Settra pulled a Gotrek and just *showed up* in AOS. Not a reborn or altered version, literally just him. He'd been faffing around in the realms of chaos the whole time, and randomly found a portal to the mortal realms. He then becomes enraged at the complete lack of Nehekaran influence on the world and sets out to make a NEW kingdom, even grander than before, with an immortal king with eons of experience.

[@SudoKnightlyNonsense]

In the older Warhammer Fantasy RPG books (2nd edition) they actually had one of the Bretonnian cities involve itself in some innovation. The merchants were arming their ships with cannons from the Empire, to protect their trade, and were even gaining political control over the city. Really wish they had kept that in the setting, instead of doubling-down on the feudalism.

[@MajorSvenGaming]

The one good thing about bretonnia was that it was possible to build an entire army using non-GW models... Making it a so much cheaper option if that's your thing....

[@someirishguy1662]

Im doing this currently

[@lordspaghettiyetithe1st513]

Can't fight Cav? Form a square Can't from a square? Get 4 spearman units and make a square

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

Can't fight Cavalry? *laughs in Temple Guard*

[@InquisitorShepard]

My solution to cavalry was skavenslaves and globadiers. My new solution (yet untested) is a vermintide summon or menace from below, a globadiers and now a ratling that replaced this skavenslave. All weapons team is fun.

[@nikoblep4544]

I'm actually playing a Bretonnia playthrough on total war rn lmao

[@pancreasnowork9939]

I wish you a very wiped by Norsca

[@Termanater97]

@@pancreasnowork9939 sheeesssh lol but yeah 100%

[@tacky4237]

@@pancreasnowork9939 no wall

[@thepopulargirl1784]

With how strong the order tide is now, it's more likely that you'll be scrambling for opponents so you can get enough chivalry to finish the campaign.

[@War_is_cool]

I played brettonia once. Boring as fuck

[@leonemaledetto1500]

How do you have a bad time against CAVALRY in total war Warhammer? It got nerded into the ground

[@pancreasnowork9939]

I’m bad

[@TheAchilles26]

@@pancreasnowork9939, then you should avoid every other Total War ever, cuz cav is better in the rest of the series

[@bullettime1116]

I'm the reverse, I hate bretonnia because I suck with cavalry and hate using them

[@patrickthemeek4797]

I've always found it very odd in settings like these that technology stays stagnent for so very long or progresses at a glacier pace. Like I remember somebody once said that progress technologically is driven by limitation and need; load too heavy so make wheel, prey too fast so make bow and arrow, cold so make fire and shelter etc. etc. So if these nations are constantly fighting against a plethera of horrible monstrosities that outnumber and outmuscle them , with near total destruction on several occasions, why is there no serious attempt to kick up the war industry a notch or five? The Empire is described as brutally effecient on a military and religious level and hopefully magical, alchemic, and scientific R&D are well funded yet it seems like a military doctrine and technology stay the same for hundreds of years! Real world humans, who never had as threatening or terrifying of challenges, still progressed industrialy and militarily way faster than these dunces.

[@tcideh4929]

Then 40k exists… where the space marines the main people just are stagnant…

[@viktorvh5511]

Well, still faster progress than in 40k, also skaven climbed the tech tree real fast like from dirt to rocket science, nuke and laser rifles/cannons. Also they blew up the moon, so rats are smarter somehow than humans which is weird and dumb but hey it's GWs and the end times was a complete failures

[@DeusExAngelo]

In fairness for Bretonnia, they went stagnate because many of their values of chivalry (of which many are in fact positive) have also been hampered by an ultra-traditionalism. It’s served them well enough that they haven’t needed to change it much. This is besides the fact that many of their enchanted arms and armor are uniquely powerful. So they’ve sorta plateau’d but at the same time the enchantments are their strong cavalry do allow them to hold their own against the other factions for the most part. Additionally, other factions would probably have to chew through the Empire, Athel Loren, The Dwarves, The Southern Realms, etc. before getting to them. So Bretonnia is fairly isolated as well. It’s also not uncommon in history for various civilizations in humans history to be “behind the curve” in terms of technological progress…yet still be quite formidable in their own right.

[@patrickthemeek4797]

@@DeusExAngelo Yeah, I guess if God literally made you into a holy super soldier for killing in his name and upholding his values, you wouldn't put much value in alternative means of succuss in life whether it be in art, culture, technology, or economics because those involve dealing with unknowns and playing the long game. Plus have you guys played brettonia on SFO? Four words: REGENERATING FLYING UBER CAVALRY!

[@vurrunna]

The simple answer: Because writing technological advancement into a fantasy setting is hard, and if nations advanced too much they'd end up progressing past their initial stereotype/theme. I'm sure folks have devised some in-universe explanation to justify it, but it really does just come down to that. Which isn't necessarily all that bad, considering what happened the last time GW advanced the technology in Warhammer, and we got... *Sigmarines.*

[@sivel7493]

I can honestly at least respect King Louen in end times, the dude was pure af that he literally bled GOLD while fighting AND killing Ku'Gath, which is fuckin insane, he ascended to god-hood as well, or at least close to that. Literally became a "golden paldin" and standing next to Lilieath after end times or sth. But then again...fuq End TImes.

[@someirishguy1662]

Not only, but Vlad Von Carstein helped him in his battle, the two literally had a bro moment

[@joshjonson2368]

That has to be the shittiest fate ever dying as a king just to reincarnate as an elf's servant

[@sivel7493]

@@joshjonson2368 their whole schtick was simping unknowingly (I presume) to an elf the whole entire time so not that much different xD

[@maew150]

all I got from this is chad sigmar vs virgin emperor. and honestly I can fully get behind that

[@rowanlock3517]

1:50 Your right actually, the Bretonnian Navy is a bastion of bourgeois mercantile pragmatism that not totally gets away with using gunpowder - but are notable for just how many guns they use, and this was never retconned. You can even see the gun-decks on their ships (or at least where the gun decks on the Man'O'War model would be) in the Total War Warhammer campaign map. It makes sense too, it's really hard to sodomise horses on a boat.

[@sirskitariibush5570]

Yeah, but have you considered this: "Goddess-girl bathwater"?

[@awesomename2544]

I do gotta say tho the brettonian drip does make up for most of the downsides

[@whats-his-face-whats-his-c8299]

I remember hearing once that GW never wanted to do Bretonia but a couple of guys who worked there kept pushing for it. They didn’t even want magic just as true to realistic medieval army as they could and it took a lot of convincing for them to allow more fantasy elements hence why nearly everything they have barely scraps as having a fantastical edge. As soon as those guys left gw left the brets to rot.

[@Bluecho4]

Of course now, we have Age of Sigmar, a setting that is as magical and high fantasy as it gets. The only reason it doesn't have Bretonnians is because 1) GW killed the model range and decided not to import it to Cities of Sigmar, and 2) because human knights on horseback is almost quaint next to the Stormcast Eternals.

[@utubrGaming]

@@Bluecho4 Also, GW can't exactly copyright "Medieval Western Europe" and "Arthurian Folklore" can they? It's almost too easy to proxy, and they're a plastic company, not a lore company foremost.

[@sandrothenecromancer6810]

They were right, It would combine all the strenghts of medieval europe with stronger knights, decent but irregular infantry and good magic at the cost of gunpowder and more advanced tech and means of production (IE less armies).

[@samurai90x]

@@utubrGaming they're a douchebag company first and foremost

[@tcideh4929]

Gasp! This displeases the Lady! Plus… a knight on horseback is only bad because of guns. But if you have fucking magic that lets take bullets like a chad makes horseback warriors insanely good. Look at the Russian/Polish Hussars in the Napoleon War

[@heliosjollywolf9552]

The skaven have fucking miniguns, nehekhara and the lizardmen have lazers, the dwarfs have vietnam, and the emprie has tanks, all of the remaining factions have better magic and monsters... oh and the orks have weaponized stupidity Your argument is invalid

[@y1751]

@@heliosjollywolf9552 that’s what the men at arms are for.

[@navilluscire2567]

@@heliosjollywolf9552 Yet somehow the Empire is just objectively superior to all of them and could total b*tch slap them all with zero effort despite being the most mundane faction out there. Not to mention they have no originality and had to get what supernatural creatures they have from Chaos hilariously hypocrisy that one, and even their wizards are just copycats of real elven high magic mages except they for some stupid arbitrary reasons arbitrarily broke up the cool high magic into lame colors of some wacko death rainbow and have the gaul to claim that as some totally original take on it!

[@heliosjollywolf9552]

@@navilluscire2567 we talking about brettonia here not the empire, the empire at least had the brains to get themselves guns and those steampunky tanks, brettonia as dipshit farmers, knights who simp for an elven goddess and a shitty french accent

[@heliosjollywolf9552]

@@navilluscire2567 also in game the empire would lose to both the high elves and dwarves, in lore the lizardmen are always the hardest to get rid of for chaos, and the empire, tho actually just humans in general are the easiest to corrupt, also settra would bitchslap the shit out of karl franz

[@HowToPnP]

Fun fact: Bretonnia had cannons in the naval game.

[@dankstank110]

GW dev:- so what are these guys inspired by GW:- King Arthur and France GW dev:- so should we give em cavalry and longbows alongside cheap halbs GW:- just HONSE

[@youraveragescotsman7119]

An army with the strengths of English Longbows and French Knights would be... horrifyingly effective. For such an army, use the Radious mods on TWWH. Have fun steamrolling.

[@hurb3222]

Bretonnia would be the best faction if they were all monty python knights and skipped at the enemy with a peasant behind them clapping coconuts. That would be good

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

What do you think Brettonian unit Muscisians are?

[@42Nightsyesterday]

If you read the lore, they pretty much are that actually

[@danielfagan7088]

I respectfully disagree, to each their own. Still an entertaining listen though lol. Slayers do in fact kick ass.

[@nfwrambo]

This man mocks Bretonnians for their god actually being an elf god but then turns around says that Sigmar is way better than the emperor when the only difference between them is that Sigmar is probably a skeleton in a ditch somewhere while the emperor is a skeleton in a fancy chair. This is his best joke so far

[@redenginner]

The Emperor is the potato in a kids potato battery experiment.

[@discountplaguedoctor88]

True, but Sigmar wasn't an insult to atheists everywhere or a shit excuse for a parent UNLIKE EMPRAH. That, and Sigmar did in fact become a god without being stuck on an overrated portapotty.

[@christopherbravo1813]

@@discountplaguedoctor88 wow I didn't realize that accurately portraying Atheists was considered insulting.

[@discountplaguedoctor88]

@@christopherbravo1813 I was referring to Emps' arguments against religion in The Last Church. Citing JUST the Crusades as your sole evidence against religion isn't a point in favor of atheism.

[@christopherbravo1813]

@@discountplaguedoctor88 to be fair, it's what a lot of Atheists do. though you'd think that one who has existed for so much of human history would be able to pull up a better argument.

[@JaysonVaughn]

>is a Karl Franz simp >Karl Franz's personal gaurd is cavalry >sucks with cavalry The Prince and Emperor is not pleased

[@imperatorandros9947]

In the oldest lore, Bretonnia was similar to Empire, with gunpowder weapons, and was similar to the France of King Louis XIV.

[@Dogmelter42]

... *Time to crusade.* While I disagree, still love the vids! Edit: What I do with my horse in the name of the Lady is my damned business, thank you very much.

[@viraltang]

How did they make King Arthur in an open fantasy setting so boring? I mean come on you could have made the entire faction based on imaginative badass fantasy knights. Sub factions based on each of the knights of the round table and chivalrous virtues. It writes itself! You know what screw it GW won't.. I will.

[@NagandEmerald]

Because Arthurian legend itself is cliche and full of contrivances and has no actual canonicity.

[@poyloos4834]

@@NagandEmerald i think you mean it created those cliches

[@matthiuskoenig3378]

1- nothing wrong with clichés, people use it as complaint but forget they are cliche becuase they are enjoyable and the alternatives tend to be lame and cringe. 2- Arthurian legends created those clichés, so it's not cliche 3- it lacks continuity because it was created pre-Internet and pre-printing press. How the fuck where they supposed to keep continuity?

[@NagandEmerald]

@@matthiuskoenig3378 1. There is nothing wrong with a cliche until it loses its original meaning. Arthurian legends have abundantly lost their original meanings due to contrivance and overbloat of what amounts to fanfiction. 2. In regard to your comment regarding the internet and printing press, the Bible had its established canon long before that. Your point is moot. It was never codified for Arthurian legend. For what reason is unknown.

[@NagandEmerald]

@@poyloos4834 No. It really didn't. Most of the fantasy cliches came about as a result of Tolkien, or as a result of other legends.

[@gabrielciambelli6861]

Your opinions might be shit but your taste in videogame osts is impeccable. That's all I want to say.

[@iona2225]

Finally, now I have mildly some concrete answers to parrot on why I hate the Bretonnia/The French beyond "Fuck 'em, I hate the French".

[@tcideh4929]

French/English vs The empire being Italy and HRE

[@thechazz3230]

Hate modern Brettonia. Don't hate their old renditions.

[@iona2225]

@@thechazz3230 Hate modern France. Hate older French lore... slightly less.

[@thechazz3230]

@@iona2225 At least Napoleon was pretty cool. Last cool Frenchman. One dude managing to conquer almost all of Europe thanks to his cannon fetish is pretty neat.

[@iona2225]

@@thechazz3230 Oh indeed. The guy was an awkward dude who couldn't describe how he would plow his best bud from Portugal-iberia to the farthest eastern end of the silk road if he was a chick to his wife without it sounding weird, but ya gotta give props to a good, lengthy conquest of various, diverse states that are all very different and haven't been anything near unified since an idiot decided to split Rome in two. And people legit feared the french back then, they were stereotyped as being blood thirsty, fire spirited ravagers. And considering a certain period of their history not too long ago from this particular point, it isn't unfounded.

[@Rukdug]

Damn, didn't know the different kinds of elf simps hated each other as much as the different kind of elves hated each other. Also, Bretonnia is an example what would eventually happen to the Tau. They were introduced as a somewhat decent society, but because they seemed better than the default good guys, they got grimdarked. Edit: Also the Red Duke is the coolest Bretonnian character and should have been added as a playable lord in Total War Warhammer already.

[@carbodude5414]

Chaos Warrior: Surrender mortal! Warrior Priest: DO YOU THINK THIS FLAG STANDS FOR "BRETONNIA"?!

[@terranloyalist9595]

I refuse to hear Bretonnia slander.

[@ninjartist36]

Pancreas: I can't beat horses Me: Just use pikes lol (I've only played Rome and Medieval 2)

[@yarus5889]

Spear ashigaru mawhahah

[@kamikazoo6599]

@@yarus5889 Yarimazing!

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

Brettonia is funny. Mostly because when they see a Lizardman, they fall over eachother to slay the great serpent, then a 9 foot dinosaur man bonks them.

[@rellek4053]

Bretonnia is my favorite faction but it is awful because GW hates them and wants you to hate them too.

[@SamueL-td7fb]

And they do a great job at it!

[@dingus4244]

Hi sorry to say but this is the first video I’ll ever disagree with, Brettonia is my favorite faction not because of their Arthurian myth inspo but because I can relate to the peasantry. I myself am an inbred (in fact, I am typing with my 3rd thumb) and I love the inclusion of lowly peasants in my game, in fact, I even name them after each of my family members, (my favorite is Pierre, he’s my alcoholic uncle and he can take a beating, much like in the tabletop). The best part is that I can even add my own paints to their units to give them leprosy or crotch rashes! I doubt the empire can do that, because the empire sucks and smell bad.

[@BenjiDurden1]

💀 i laughed way 2 hard at this

[@giacomoromano8842]

I once read (the source was shady at best, so take it with a pinch of salt) that bretonnia as a faction was initially thought out as a sort of "human Sylvania". The nobles would be so full of themselves and mask their decadence through codes and big talks of honor while, on the field, they mass levied the peasantry and used massive war machines of all kinds, so your strategy would center around long range harassment and destruction, huge crowds of peasants cannon fodder and extremely costly but good knights ujits to swoop in and finish the job. They probably changed it because it looked too close to the Empire game strategy.

[@joaomarques6109]

I played old versions Bretonnians, they where the opposite (IRC 4th\5th edition). They where a Cav only army, you could have a unit of men-at-arms and archers, Siege engines only appeared on the last edition. In terms of lore and real game there wheren't mass peasants. I believe for most of 2 editions you could only field one unit of men-at-arms, the lore clearly stated that each lord only had 1/2men-at-arms so they would always flock together and form one unit.

[@rellek4053]

Can confirm this was never the original plan, it’s closer to what they were flanderized into

[@badfoody]

except in the Empire, they just fire all the cannons, hold the line and get paid a living wage

[@MK_ULTRA420]

Add some light artillery, snipers, and elite infantry for well-placed assaults and you have Napoleonic warfare. Cannons alone would increase the worth of any peasant who can haul a cannon, making each Bretonnian peasant as valuable as a horse with a limp instead of a well-fed pig.

[@Berserker3624]

@@MK_ULTRA420 point but think of this, the Cauvery is bulletproof those cannons are too slow and saber to throat has always been an effective means of dispelling elite troops

[@watchingvideosalot3960]

Bretonnia, the only WH: TW faction to be easily countered by man's most ubiquitous weapon: the spear.

[@flaviomonteiro1414]

[Silverhelms riding towards the enemy in perfect formation] Gilles Le Breton: Write hat down write that down 📜

[@Anonie324]

Bold of you to assume the Bretonii ever learned how to write.

[@sinanroyal5359]

I think it is absolutely rational to believe my Trebuche to be to modern while my neighbours over the mountains are frequently using: rifles, mortars, cannons, rocket launchers, gating guns and early tanks. Yep Bretonnian horselovers are right. Time to rid ourselves of something pathetic like artillery.

[@Haiphong778]

All of those reasons you listed are why I LIKE Brettonia. Except the not having tanks part. That part is depressing. I really wish there were more options than just horse, more expensive horse, and flying horse. Also in some mythos Hippogriffs get eaten by Gryphons, or are at least sired by Gryphons who mate with their prey (horses). So there is that.

[@someirishguy1662]

I once talked to a forge world designer in person at a convention years ago that wanted Bretonnia to have living grail chapels that would act like the Tomb King Necrosphinx, and another construct of Battle Pilgrims carrying an even larger warshrine

[@HrHaakon]

Yeoman gives you the option of cheap horse.

[@engelostermann7203]

I read somewhere a long time ago that Bretonnia was forced into the setting by management just wanting to have a King Arthur-style army. And when those management types left, the designers just up and abandoned Bretonnia.

[@rileyernst9086]

My main problem with the Brentonians, is that they do an admirable job of representing Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail. And people see it and think its based on real medieval society. Makes the faction very one dimensional.

[@giacomoromano8842]

The Lady of the Lake is the divine equivalent of a streamer that sells her bathwater to an army of simp while Sigmar is the ultimate sugar love daddy that compensate your dedication to him with cool powers, lots of love and touching his beard. Prove me wrong.

[@jonathanathor117]

Sigmar is what the god emperor of mankind should have been.

[@marseldagistani1989]

@@jonathanathor117 Sigmar is the God emperor of mankind who did nothing wrong

[@lichlord267]

At one point the Bretonians had some interesting knights in that they offten came from the pasantry and theoretically anyone could become a knight. villagers would work hard to train one of their own and equip them to fight evil. Meaning the Bretonian Hierarchy actually started at the village level. Yes, the nobilitiy was still a thing and they had an advantage in training, but it gave Bretonia a much more wholesome character. it made them somthing more than just asshole knights with shitsmeared peasants with a potential communist revollution waiting to happen. But that wasnt grimdark so GW canned that and made them asshole frenchman being played by elves.

[@emperorontheinternet6510]

As a ogre player I like all factions as dinner.

[@Mr.Sassman]

L + Ratio + No chivalry + touch grail + get a horse

[@TheGreatMajorFail]

As a Bretonnian simp, we can say that this is true. We all drink Horse and Lady of the Lake bath water.

[@pyrrhusofepirus8491]

I’d actually like Bretonnia if they weren’t just an insanely over exaggerated stereotype of Medieval Knights and Serfdom, keep the King Arthur stuff, drastically tone down how much of an utter inaccurate stereotype of Medieval times they are, and have it so that they advanced via magic instead of technology.

[@TwoFistsOneHalleluja]

I'd say give Bretonnia some wraiths/spectral units. The Green Knight is basically this. The concept should be extended to all Grail Knights who ever died. + Blessed artifacts + Wololo priests (who can turn enemy units) + Greek fire units, either infantry and/or some giant flamethrower on wheels that gets pushed by peasants + Mutated animals (like the bretonnian truffle hound but way bigger), maybe Sabertooths and Aurochs? + A giant aurochs with archers on top? There's so much that GW could do with Bretonnia that doesn't involve industrialization. They've just decided to shit on that faction because they couldn't copyright most of it.

[@Panzerbrandy]

Wait, "bretonnia dont have advanced tech". Except emps and dwarfs, non of the other factions have that much more advanced tech. O.o

[@sworntoavenge]

Virgin handgunners vs Chad Paladins.

[@cegesh1459]

Funny enough Bretonian knights could use Empire plate during the last Storm of Chaos (so the campaign right before the end times). It was never represented in any model though. I agree with one point. Not inovaiting at all and not learning from even neighboring nations is silly and Bad writing. Even though you can created some cultural ideals with a negative outcome. Mounted units are fun though. Playing them, or ending them with spears, monsters etc. The End of the lady of the lake was really bad. Mind you, no one knew this until the end times and most hated it. Not a Bretonia player, simply some points I could make.

[@krinkrin5982]

Japan and China closed themselves off from the world for hundreds of years. It is definitely believable that an ultra-nationalistic, ultra-traditionalist group in power would think of the other nations as their lessers and corruptors of the True Path (TM), and subsequently ignore all innovation that comes their way. The fact that Bretonnia is isolated and either an ally or neutral to all its neighbors doesn't help. Plus they have really powerful magic protections that are apparently safer to use than the Imperial counterpart. There was a story I've read that posited magic in a setting stifles technological innovation, because a) why invent something if you can pay the local wizard to do it for you, and b) said wizards would be very interested in keeping their revenue stream intact.

[@SMT-ks8yp]

Yeah, I stumbled upon a wiki notion that bretonnians like full plate. And I wonder how ridiculously overpriced it is to their backwards econonomy, either by demand of highly skilled manual labour, or by ordering the armor and all repairs from abroad. Also, agree about factions not learning from each other. Warhammer Fantasy doesn't have it everywhere (unlike 40k), with the whole Ordertide thing and some other events (elves learned from lizards, Empire from high elves and dwarves, Nagash from dark elves, skaven steal from everyone...)

[@fleetwheelmac6978]

I luckily stumbled upon your educating video just as I was searching for an army to buy into once the Old World returns. Bretonnia basically sounds like everything I was looking for in a faction :D

[@bastonneknight9478]

40k player, but for my LARP gear I went Bretonnian knight. I like knights and the Bretonnian aesthetic.

[@Xoguran]

Imagine someone tell PancreasNoWork that the Bretonnian ancestors did betray Sigmar during the preparations for the Black Fire Pass battle and did flee to the south while all the other tribes did stick together under the leadership of Heldenhammer to stop the greenskins.

[@Sara3346]

The version I heard was that they never considered sigmar to be their leader to be in with.

[@edgarallanpoe8309]

Aren't you basically the same as a bretonnian, since you have the same views on elves?

[@pancreasnowork9939]

I do it in a good way so it’s completely different

[@brianwalsh1339]

@@pancreasnowork9939 suuuuure buddy

[@nathancardon233]

We're Knights of the Round Table We dance whene'er we're able We do routines and chorus scenes With footwork impeccable We dine well here in Camelot We eat ham and jam and spam a lot We're Knights of the Round Table Our shows are formidable But many times, we're given rhymes That are quite unsingable We're Opera mad in Camelot We sing from the diaphragm a looooooot In war we're tough and able Quite indefatigable Between our quests we sequin vests And impersonate Clark Gable It's a busy life in Camelot I have to push the pram a lot

[@harryballantyne398]

Pictured here: an Elf simp makes fun of Elf simps

[@Lossarnach13]

Fun fact: Bretonnia used to have Cannons and Mechanical Horses back in way earlier editions.

[@TheXenomorphwarrior]

As a beastmen player I can confirm that we do like to shit on Brettonian lawns.

[@OmegaLittleBob]

Kinda feels like the End Times have come all the way back around to being awesome thanks to Total War and Vermintide

[@carltheoneeye9353]

In lore a grail knight can rip the steam tank apart with his bare hands. They are ridiculous.

[@bigburd875]

The empire always goes on a liberation war in my games, those peasants deserve to work for guilds and burghers

[@gentlemandank9827]

"I'm an elf simp" - and that when I took it personally

[@primary2630]

I've always liked the Bretonnian's just cause horse cavalry is super cool. Their Grail Knights are like super-human warriors which I think is cool especially since they get to drink from the "holy grail" and become absolute warriors. The fact that the Lady is an elf goddess is even better imo and not a bad thing. Elves are sexy as fuck and if you deny wanting an elven waifu you're lying or you're even more disgusting than any Bretonnian. I also think that Louen Leoncour is one of the coolest human characters in the lore, even if he isn't quite as renowned as Karl Franz (who is in a unique position of coolness). Louen is pretty much the strongest single human being on the earth.

[@Ayrton_Chitwood]

This is probably the first video of yours that I've ever completely disagreed with. Not only that, but I feel your points on the topic don't have a lot of strong backing. That being said, I'm looking forward to your next video, as usual. Keep up the good work.

[@da_BemBem]

Honestly, Bretonnia got the shaft in terms of development. Like, they never even got an update past... 5th? 6th? Before AoS? The Empire got all the updates, and eventually their Cavalry just outclassed Bretonnias stuff. Thankfully, The Old World is going to be Brettonia and Kislev centric. Should be good for other BretMains like myself.

[@TheGroboid]

Bretonnia is one of my favourite factions. Visually and gameplayvise they are great in both total war and 8th/9th edition (dont really know watcha talking about this strange AoS which came after even stranger End Times. Is this some community created mode I am yet to discover?) From the lore point of view i guess it would be really cool to see them as the only good faction. And i mean not "good" because they are part of the Order factions, but really and fully good, trying to save everybody (even scavens). With their main credo being something like "The world is dark place and there is no hope or light in here. Then lets be the light and hope for this world" A truly antinihilistic faction (or if you know some shit about nihilism as phylosophical system - a faction of true nihilists) Their interaction with the other factions in that case should glorious indeed like "Grey prophet our slaves-workers were released by strange people" "Pharaoh some weird humans returned all the treasures to our tomb" " WULFRIC South nation helped us building a W-W-W..." "I am an ELF goddess and you know that. Stop worshipping me!"

[@Fummy007]

the opening "im sick of hiding it" made me think "im tired of pretending that its not"

[@GenuineGuitar56]

I pick khorne specifically because it makes people like you mad. Also i live blood for the blood god and skulls for the skull throne

[@_NIKOS9_NIKOS]

surviving peasant: My lord! The beastman are attacking en mass! They have already destroyed 20 villages and have slaughtered every man, woman and child in them! local lord: Oh well these thing happen. Lady giveth and lady taketh away as they say surviving peasant: they also ate all the horses! local lord: ASSEMBLE ALL THE KNIGHTS! BY EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLLY WE WILL NOT LET SUCH INJUSTICE AND SAVAGERY GO UNPUNISHED!

[@masterdangles8422]

Can't wait for the Old World to drop so I can play Bretonnians.

[@TheSoulDivided]

Elf-simp bullies other elf-simps for elf-simping too hard

[@funnyswangoosething5088]

I…. Disagree.

[@godoforder1828]

This entire faction would have something going for it ( and make any sense to begin with ) if they had any type of gunpowder weapons, inferior to the empire, maybe some cannons, cossack-like peasants on horseback, or goddamn, some sort of cannon-mounted gryphon would be awesome, but i guess they will always be the turd eating peasants stuck 200 years behind the empire

[@gaybutt3981]

Why? Guns are for Americans. I honestly don’t even think guns fit in fantasy at all. They just make every other style of weapon seem like a inferior option when they are included. Not to mention guns are boring.

[@albertlofling7310]

Tzeentch realised pancreas would be too strong so he messed up his pancreas to contain his power

[@gorlaxss]

I remember when i was 9 i watched a horse go over backwards and basically shove the saddle horn inside a man. That horse didnt get up, to tear his guts out shot instantly. That may sound extreme, but middle of nowhere. Lot easier to drop it and stabalize rather than trying to clean the masdive damage that couldve happened

[@shaydumaargaming4993]

As a bretonnian I see absolutely nothing wrong with our society ^^

[@TheKolboShow]

I love Bretonnia but only because I feel no guilt when I invade their lands. Doesn't matter if I'm playing as Dark Elves, Skaven, Vampire Coast or Greenskins, there is no sound sweeter than the routing masses of panicked frenchmen yelling "The lady's blessing is lost!" and "I'm dishonored!". And Total War : Warhammer just wouldn't be the same without the despicable horse fondlers. 10/10 would burn down Bretonnia again.

[@joaogomes9405]

100% agree. In a fantasy setting with so many interesting, unique, creative races, you choose to play as the fucking French? Why. Also very nice use of Sunless Sea OST, it's a banger

[@konkoly5183]

Would have been the faction I played, if I didn't get into the tabletop a year after the end times. Curious to see what the range looks like when the Old World comes back. Hope they amplify the Aurthorian theme.

[@PolishNomad95]

Everything you say except "elves are awesome" is 100% true. Elves suck and my victory condition for every total war game is to make sure the donut has been razed to the ground.

[@eneaceribelli8023]

The most unpopular opinion: I never played Fantasy Battles nor Total War but from the information i have gathered Bretonnia was uninteresting compared to other thing in the setting but some people liked it for being grounded in arthurian mythos, giving it a more common fantasy vibes easily recognizable and that is what attracted people. Now throw everything i wrote above out of the window because i'm here to talk about AoS. Here are my ideas to make a similar bretonnia experience in the new setting: Long ago there was a coalition of small kingdoms, trying to survive against Chaos and its servants. The smaller kingdoms, for necessity of soldiers recruited the peasants and marched them into the fight. Those were slaughtered. The smallest nations fell because of the lack of men at arms and people farming to produce food. This brought the other bigger kingdoms to reserve for their own defense their armies, leaving their allies alone. The king of the smallest nation left was in despair because he could never hope to beat the invaders by himself. As a last attempt he summoned to the court his counsellors and started asking for what to do. Nobody could answer to his questions, having no idea how to beat the chaos armies without loosing from the war or from the lack of food. The king, enraged, ordered the execution of the counsellors. One, who begged the most for his life, told the king that if he had mercy on his life he would find a solution. The king, with no other solutions, decided that it was worth trying, and gave him 10 days to do so, but if he didn't come back with results its death would be much more painful than the others counsellors. The lone counsellor took the horse, some food and, when he exited the town, booked it as fast as he could. Speeding for 4 days and 4 nights, in the 5th day the counsellor was caught in the open by a storm, rendering impossible his escape. He found a lonely house in tbe woods and he asked for shelter against the storm. To open the door was a skilled woodcarver who let him inside to rest inside his workshop. It was a sight to behold: perfect recreations of the human form carved into wood, alongside dwarven and elvish one, some with an upper human bust and the lower of a horse. Scrolls littered the tables and covered the floor in parchment, while old tomes were stored on various shelf across the room. The counsellor, speaking with the woodcarver, told him of what happened and that the doom of these lands was near by unstoppable forces formed by the fiercest and merciless warriors. After the woodcarver heard the tale, he had an idea. He told the counsellor to bring it to the king for he knew something he could do. The counsellor didn't want to go back but the determination of the woodcarver convinced him and, begrudgingly, the two rode back into the castle on the tenth day. The king, upon hearing that the solution to the war lied in a lonely woodcarver was beyond enraged and ordered that the counsellor would be stripped of all of his honors and dropped at the feet of the advancing enemy as a punsihment. He then turned towards the woodcarver and as he was about to sentence him, he said to the king: "Give me 5 days and i'll give you an army!". The king was bewildered by such words and the resolution of a commoner but, thinking between himself, he had no other choices. The enemy was marching each day closer and closer and he was desperate to try anything to save his reign and power. So he accepted. The woodcarver requested that each peasant would give a stack of hay, sacks and 20 long sticks. The jaw of the king dropped when he heard such request but accepted and sent the serfs to collect what the woodcarver requested. When the serfs returned with the materials they were told to leave them in the great castle hall, and that nobody would enter it. The woodcarver locked himself in for 4 days and 4 nights. Strange rumors were heard coming from inside the hall, multiplying, like more and more occupants were filling the room. On the fifth day, the woodcarver came out of the hall, followed by a great number of beings, each a crude recreation of a human, formed by sack clothes filled with hay and armed with a wooden spear. The king was shocked and ecstatic upon seeing an army of these constructs marching out of the gate and granted the other request of the woodcarver: each peasant that was able would come to battle, armed with bow and arrows. The army was put to the test against the chaos followers that were entering the land. At first, the barbarians laughed at the sight of such an enemy, charging headfirst into the hay ranks. But when the brutes were fighting, a flaming arrow fell down, followed by another, and another until the sky was filled with them. The hay the mannequins were made of caught fire while fighting in the chaos ranks, sending ablaze the followers of the dark gods. The second rank of construct charged through the fires, emerging like fiery monsters and routing the warbands. Upon hearing of the news, the king knighted the woodcarver to Knight General and put him to lead the army against the kingdoms that abandoned him and granted every request of the knight for the army. As soon as the army was refilled the woodcarver started creating other constructs from hay and wood. These new ranks were directed against the other kingdoms to conquer and subjugate them to the will of the king. Ranks upon ranks of living scarecrows marched and clashed against the peasants ranks of the enemy armies, while wooden centaurs charged and flanked the enemy cavalry accompanied by bigger wooden statues that slaughtered the enemy armoured soldiers while peasants with bows and ballistas rained wooden bolts from the sky. The king army knew no defeat and the enemy kingdoms started revolting when more and more peasants refused to be put at arms to be slayed by the unrelenting army. All the better for the king, who easily conquered all of the other kingdoms, creating an empire. To celebrate his great victories the king organized the biggest party to which every high noble house was invited, but the Knight General was nowhere to be found. And when the feast was in full swing, constructs marched into the room and started slaughtering every noble and their families. The king, laying on the ground before a wooden construct,saw the woodcarver and begged for his life. His ears were met with laughters. The woodcarver became the king of the small empire, creating and expanding upon the wooden army which he used to control and subjugate the lands to his will. But as he grew older and more mad by day, the woodcarver started thinking that someone would try to coup his throne, and so he took all of the knights he could find and granted them a mission, using an excuse to sending them all away to secure that noone would try to fight him for the throne. Using the tales of old, the king told taht there was a magical fountain with the power to prolong the life of whoever drank from it. The king used this excuse to get every knight away from the throne marching with their construct retinue to find the fountain. And the knights marched and marched, each accompanied by the living serfs and the wooden soldiers, stopping at farms to collect wood and hay to restore their strength. Many seasons passed, and as time went on, the quest was passed from father to son, each a knight with the quest for the fountain of life. Nobody remebers the name of the old king but every knight swear loyalty to his crown. A never ending crusade is moving, started eons ago and that remains uncompleted for eons to come. If you reached the end by reading it all i would like to thank you for your attention. Have a nice day :)

[@volbergiceberg1614]

Dayuuum I'm amazed it a good one bro

[@midgetydeath]

Wait, how did ancient Bretonnians witness High Elves being awesome in Bretonnia against Chaos when their tribe didn’t move to the area until Sigmar was uniting the tribes of the Old World?

[@NIL0S]

Roasting aside, I have always wondered why they don't use rifles and cannons. Guess if you have magically buffed tanks on hooves and your missiles are basically your entire peasantry in their longbow clad sunday-best you don't reaaaally need black powder that bad.