Bridging the Gap Between Blame and Kindness in Dog Training #20

[@JennyYasi]

If you can hypnotize the world, you can heal it! Tell it! Beautiful truth!

[@kasiapanasiuk91]

What a wonderful episode ! I had been in this gap when I decided to go into that do-land. It's a pity for those who have thought the "old"way first because It has so deep root in our minds. I wish I have thought the positive way at first. Hopefully I have been in do land for a few years now and I am still progressing. I love when you shape a heart by your hands at the end of an episode. It's so kind. Wish you all the best. From Poland 😊

[@dogsrgodsspelledbackwards3340]

Your video is great. I had the same training as a lot of us did back in the 80's and since then loads of changes have been made within the dog training world. Positive doesn't mean permissive. It means you aren't using aversive techniques to get your dog to do something. I like and enjoy helping people steer from the automatic negative ways. Building a relationship is what we do, not take it down. Thanks for a great video.

[@pattytaylor4807]

This describes me!! I don't want to use physical punishment and blame, but often don't know the layers of training that are needed. I'm a senior citizen and I'm slowly saving up for the Recallers class.

[@Aaalllyyysssaaaaa]

man it is hard. I have autism, and before I ever got a dog I knew that positive training made great sense for hundreds of reasons. When I end up in the gap, I freeze up, and then "bang head here" turns into a whole autistic episode. My dog is a wonderful friend but sometimes I think if I want to stay in positive land, I might just have to accept that he will never walk on leash. I take him to the off leash park every day, and his recall is a dream, so his leash walking problems aren't an issue for him, just for me. It's been a year of me trying to transfer the value of running full speed when he is outdoors to me, but he gets reinforcement for pulling every time he goes out for his morning potty break. It is so easy to get discouraged because I know I've been rehearsing the bad behaviour every day. He is a big gorgeous energetic dog, and he is EXTREMELY sensitive. He tries so hard to be good and he shuts down when he knows something isn't right. He's a rescue, and he has had a hard past, and he has overcome so much anxiety, and all his anxious energy has translated into joy and excitement for life. I don't want to make him unhappy by trying to manage him into doing something he wasn't bred or raised to do, i.e. walk slowly and don't yank me off my feet. I do have lofty goals for my dog. He is my first dog as an adult, and I decided that I want to learn to train dogs to the level where I can train my own service dog for my autism. I have zero expectations that this dog will be able to do public access or anything, but teaching him to be the best family pet ever is very healthy for my autism, and then whatever skills he is able to learn above and beyond will be a giant help for me at home. Basically I want to develop my skills until I can raise a puppy and train it to the level of being able to do public access. So when I come across obstacles with him, it is very hard because on the one hand, I know it is harder with him than it would be with a dog I raised myself, but on the other hand, a lot of times it is very much a skill issue on my part. How am I going to raise a service dog if I'm currently doing things that would set him up for failure, and I don't know how to get out of it by myself? Plus, my dog is so smart and attentive, I think he could do it if he had the right trainer, I just don't have the chops for it yet. I want a service dog so that I can try to get a job, but without a job I can't afford to hire a trainer or anything to help me, it's a bit tough. I really love dog training but it's hard to go it alone. I've been training him with a head halter for the last week, but we can't go outside with it yet or else it interrupts his routine of running after smells and it becomes aversive, and I'm trying to build up the positive value of the head halter but it's hard to perservere when I spend half my time making the head halter fun, and the other half of my time guiltily making pulling on leash more fun because I don't know how else to fulfill his need to sniff and go potty, which seems like it's making the head halter more aversive by making the pulling more rewarding, and it's just because I don't know what to do.

[@rosieleat6868]

Such a great podcast again! I know the 'freeze' all too well lol, so the 'what to do' in this is GOLD! The 'freeze' (lol) started with taking my little kids to playcentre (here in NZ - it is a parent run, government funded pre-school where the parents study (childhood development and how to facilitate play etc) co-operative. We weren't supposed to say 'No' we had to learn a whole other way. I grew up with my mother in the 60's where our mothers threatened to strangle us and kill us on a daily basis LOL and 'just wait till your father gets home' etc etc. Had so many freeze moments. It was much easier with my dogs ROFL!! but yea, still the gap. I've had dogs all my life and trained them so very very well in the basics (come, sit, down, stay, hell - taht was about it). I didn't want to take their training any further because I hated what you had to do to do that (yanking on choke chains etc - no thank you!). and I had big dogs - rescue dogs, German shepherds etc - rarely yanked their chain. I have always believed that a great relationship with your dog through play and exercise will make them obedient enough and that was what I worked on and I had amazing dogs that I could take anywhere and I loved them all so much. Enter many years later and Susan Garrett, and now I am doing all the things I always wanted to do - taking it further through the layers of games - the learning curves huge and the rewards expedenitial - makes dog training so interesting and interactive and the learning never ends.

[@shayjones954]

Oh Susan! I so needed this one! I am in the gap more than I would like to be but I have found that the gap is narrower, shallower and further apart than they used to be thanks to you.

[@kerensamckie8211]

One of my favotite podcasts

[@kasade83]

Perfect timing for me to watch it! I love your podcasts and blog. We are just starting our journey but we will meet in DoLAND!

[@maxinewongsee4307]

I love the concept of 'Kindness' in education rather than 'punishment'. I am gaining confidence in how to teach my dog.

[@nycc802]

Thank you for this podcast. Very wakening moment for me, I just might of found the major cause of what might be holding us back in our relationship. I am new to your podcast. I listen to them in the car, more interesting than the news lately or the same doings over and over, I also watch them on KZbin because IAM auditive but also visual and the visual part is more developed than the auditive one. You have no idea how you are shaping me on my journey right now with my 1.5 year old Labrador Retriever Rescue. Our first year together wasn’t the greatest even though I tried and he sure tried but we were into a love/ hate relationship. Since my believes for any animal on this planet are pretty much the same as yours, that made me tried different things for him for his energy so I can work from home quietly and I have a senior 13 years old Great Pyrenees cross husky, that my chocolate chunk was terrorizing and I was well they have to worked it out. Oh man! WTFront door was my head. Since I found your podcast I am binge watching your videos/podcast. You’re ways and ideas of training have done more for me for my mental health than my psych and everything else did follow and transfer into my attitude and then into my dogs. In one of your podcast you had described Marley to a T. So, all the time I was told you just have to exercise him, he’s a puppy and his breed doesn’t help do he needs exercise. Well, after a 30 minutes bicycle ride and a 5km walk everyday and agility classes on Saturday that wasn’t solving my problems. Until I realized Marley isn’t hyper active , he is hyper reactive so anxious 😟. And the punishment training I was giving him wasn’t helping neither probably. So for the past week my entire household ( me and my 2 dogs) have submerge ourself into your way of training and this is the best balance energy wise in my house I’ve had in the past year. We are working on the perche work and the Recallers. We are all looking for our 3 minutes of fun training all through the day. Thank you again.

[@juliea3904]

Wow- I can't believe I was thinking about this very thing for the last few days- now I have a name for it " the Gap" and now I know what to do about it - super timing! Also- you have often said how our dog training reflects life. I have applied your motto (Our dogs are doing the BEST they can with the EDUCATION we have givien them in the ENVIRONMENT we are asking them to work in) to myself. As the mother of a young adult struggling with addiction there is a lot of self shame and blame for things that maybe I could have done differently - then I have to remind myself- I did the best I could with what I knew at the time and in the situation I found my family in. Please keep up the good work Susan I am loving the podcasts and appreciate the thought and work that you and your crew put into presenting us with great inspiration.

[@yvetterea1937]

Love your philosophy and your explanations are super clear, my poodles thank you ( most of the time ha ha ha )

[@katherinecollmer1094]

This is such an eye-opener podcast for me! When my dog pulls to go see another dog who is familiar to us, I just keep saying “don’t pull me,” BUT, I let him go to the dog - why? Because I don’t want the other dog’s owner to think I’m being mean!! Yes! That’s why! They always say, “Oh, Win, you’re trying to be good,” to my dog and I jump back into the gap and stop going toward Do Land! Not anymore! Thank you!

[@rosieleat6868]

I used to be like this too, now and for a while, my priority is to do what is best for my dog and I don't care about being embarrassed, - I don't get embarrassed anymore. At 63 I've decided life is too short for that sort of carry on lol lol :) xx

[@karlawilson1032]

5❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 5 rhymes-with-hive ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Love how you lay a clear path forward for anyone who wants to achieve their training goals without using punishment, corrections, or “mean voice”. Everyone who listens should make a list of the “gems” included!

[@azogal53]

As someone who has more than once found herself in The Gap, loved the discussion of what to do. Also, have I mentioned how much I enjoy the production of this podcast? Very entertaining and love the animations. 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟

[@Lena6206]

Thank you SO MUCH!! You are the best!!!!

[@dianesullivan4511]

Gee, I don’t know why my comments don’t show up here....? Anyway, I’m enjoying these podcasts & LOL with the jumping in the water scenario. Always provide something to think about. 💕

[@amypalmer161]

Another amazing podcast! I can't tell you how comforting these latest episodes have been as I count down the days to bringing home my new puppy. I CAN do this! Mistakes will be made but with Susan's methods, I won't scar the dog for life--what a relief! Also, Susan, your listeners/viewers humbly demand that Momentum's puppies make many appearances on this channel :D

[@RaptorsGirl]

I’ll make a point if it Amy!

[@yvetterea1937]

I have a real difficult time with not saying “ don’t” and NO , but am working on it.

[@rosieleat6868]

It gets easier :)

[@nancyhooper1742]

Definitely writing down what to do in the Gap for i have that problem, how to do the right thing and not punishment which is what I grew up with. Love watching this for always educational and make me a better person from it ❤❤❤❤⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[@ilocanagardener1997]

This podcast brings such clarity. I’ve been struggling with my dogs to a point of mental anguish. My lack of understand about animal behavior/learning had made a mess of things. My expectations surpass the education I’ve given my dogs, and I resort to blame. I’ve been attempting to train with reinforcement and constantly find myself in the gap - frozen and with no idea how to stop an unwanted behavior I’ve likely unconsciously trained. Every single episode I’ve watched so far have been enlightening and motivational. You also have such a light hearted way of narrating. Thank you for this resource.

[@islandhunde-steinunns-kennel]

Hahahaha, jumping into the pond .... 🤣🤣🤣 see it in front of me!! 😂😂😂 That is so great! Thank's for this story and sharing your knowledge! ❤😄

[@joannewall3616]

Love this episode in particular. I find myself in this position quite often. I have to stop & think, what is reinforcing this behaviour? I’m listening to these podcasts over & over & have told so many people about them. Spreading the good word 😊 Thank you so much Susan 🙏🏻

[@amyhillard602]

I came across your website earlier this week and have binge watched all of the podcast episodes! I absolutely love your philosophies and the way you lay it out in digestible pieces. Your approach resonates with me so much! It speaks to the way I have always felt about my dogs but have never had the tools and vocabulary to articulate it. Now we have a lot of work to do to re-direct ourselves and our young adult dogs (we have a German Shepherd and 2 Border Collies)!

[@lortonhill]

Welcome Amy!

[@pamelagoldsmith7249]

OMG... I just had a "moment" during this podcast!!! I realized that I was asking for a recall when I spotted him doing something naughty! I always got a brilliant recall and was very proud of that!!! Never thinking that by me adding the recall, he was making the connection that he was doing a "good thing"! But, once I walked out to actually hold his collar next to my leg, and he ran as if it were a game!! That's why I started the recall.

[@janegilbert9851]

Love, love, love these Podcasts. I’m in your Recallers programme and these little snippets of information really do give clarity and reinforce us. Thank you, please keep the podcasts coming.

[@maxinewongsee4307]

I found myself in Blame-Land: While I am generally in Do-Land, I don't have the confidence in Cody's recall. The other morning, we were out walking (off lead) and another person with their dog, on lead, were walking a little further away. Cody, being very friendly wanted to say 'hello' and started running (not too fast) toward them. While I am confident he would be friendly, I am not sure what the other dog would be like nor the person, should another dog run up to them. I called Cody back to me - he stopped but then started heading toward the dog again. This time I put on my stern voice and said 'leave it'! Which he did. Cody just stopped where he was. While I had success in that Cody didn't continue on toward the others, I do not want to be using that tone either. A little while later, Cody was running off to chase a passing cane-train - Cody is safe to run after the train in the space that he has - I called him back to me, to see if he would recall. Cody stopped and turned toward me and came back a little of the way - so he knew what he 'should' be doing (what I wanted from him) but he then did a kind of little prance on the spot as he decided if he would run after the train or return to me. Unfortunately, the train was the winner this time. I am hoping that through the training that I am getting, I will have increased confidence that Cody will return to me if I call him.

[@ashleycarrell2785]

I'm hoping to be able to train our dog in Do Land, but my cats certainly weren't trained there and I'm not sure how to transition them (or if it's even possible!). Stubborn purr balls lol

[@philosman5629]

Thank you very much for your podcasts, I have found them very easy to understand and relate to especially this podcast 20. I struggle with this gap many times in situations such as when my dog puts her feet on the kitchen worktop or at our dinner table. Am I correct in my understanding that I should gently move her onto the floor and then continue my training of her being in her bed in the kitchen and also another bed in the dining room . I reinforce her every time she chooses to lie in her bed and I also reinforce her for lying in her bed at non meal times also. I also feel this gap/conflict when I am with other people .

[@petconnectioncats]

Susan, 2 of my 3 dogs (one Border Collie 10 months and one Cardigan Welsh Corgi 3 yrs) will be enjoying a peaceful evening with us and our household cats. The cats will walk around the dogs all evening. Occasionally, one of the cats will run down the hallway and these 2 dogs will take off after them. Are you suggesting that I run after the dogs? If so, what do I do when I catch up to them?

[@paulanunes95]

My dog got used to us giving her lots of unwanted reinforcement when she steal stuff from the ground and takes to her bed, that she got really bad resource guarding towards that stuff. Sometimes she grabs stuff that could be dangerous for her. We try our best to manage the environment, but sometimes stuff falls and when I say she’s quick, she’s really quick. I haven’t had that experience yet since we started ITSYERCHOICE (she grabbed my father’s sandals once, but I didn’t say anything and just grabbed the sandals from her before she could become aggressive) but I get super worried, specially when one day in the past she ate a pill that fell from my mother’s hand, and she got taken to the vet immediately (she suffered a lot from it, and us too). What would you do, Susan, when stuff like that happens? Do I just say nothing and try to swiftly grab the stuff she is guarding or entertained with? What if that doesn’t go well and she eats the stuff?? (I think you realized I’m talking from a place of trauma here…). Anyways, thank you so much for this videos, I’m loving it and applying all to my 4 year old yorkie that (sadly) was an impulse buy and raised in a very permissive house lol. ❤️❤️❤️ Ps.: I just got the Home School the Dog 🙌🏻🙌🏻 and I’m saving for Recallers and Crate Games (and buying a Crate). I’m super happy for our journey with you 🙏🏻🍀🐶

[@annfry9072]

Gem: Goals are not expectations till I have put in the work for the education of my dog in the environment I'm expecting him to perform in.

[@rachellanter50]

Sadly last year I bought the online crate games when my husband got his puppy thinking we could work together. Once we started and he had problems he quit. And unfortunately I quit when he did cause I felt it ruined the whole idea. I wish I would have followed through with the program and just did both dogs myself. It’s hard when you don’t have someone who’s onboard. Just pulls the whole fun out of it all. I need to learn to just do these things myself and not worry about what he’s doing or not doing, right?

[@helenhargett8324]

After listening to this podcast I am wondering is there ever a time one would use the word stay? It sounds like other words are suppose to hold them in place.

[@RaptorsGirl]

With the way I've done with my dogs I can't think of a time that I would need to add the word "stay" since "sit" "down" or "stand" means "hold position until I release you." saying anything else is redundant.

[@simonasteckyte4351]

Great podcast but could do with more practical examples such as barking, lunging at other dogs etc.

[@PatrickTilford]

The real world lol😂.

[@logun24x7]

I don't understand why saying no to a dog so taboo these days dogs correct each other all the time. If you watch two dogs playing one dog will nip a bit hard the other dog will correct it play will end and then in a few minutes the two dogs are buddies again, the offending dog learns if I do that play ends and will often be submissive to the dog that was nipped to entice it back to play. Corrections are part of a dog's natural language. That said positive reinforcement training has revolutionized the dog training world in the last 30 years for shaping behaviours but if you're trying to suppress a behaviour or remove a behavior it's like taking only left hand turns to get to a destination