Brit Reacts to 13 Things Americans Consider BAD Manners that SUPRISE Europeans

[@jstringfellow1961]

I was in Aldi (in the USA) today and the lady in front of me began a conversation. She was from Yorkshire. She starts talking and then she starts laughing. I asked her why she was laughing and she said "Because I'm starting my first public conversation in America. I've been here a week and I'm just getting used to talking to strangers." We talked for another few minutes and I bought her a cup of coffee (across the street). She practiced talking to more strangers and it was hilarious. I know she appreciated the moral support.

[@ravinhud4979]

This made me laugh irl

[@seabass819]

That's wholesome.

[@Shan_Dalamani]

I was grocery shopping this morning and a woman walked up to me and started complaining about how awful Canada is, how great Germany and other parts of Europe are, and how planes that need repairs get them done in Guatemala. She carried on for a few minutes, and I just let her ramble since I eventually realized she was upset about just having been let go from her job. I guess she appreciated having someone listen to her, since she wished me happy Easter.

[@Doing_Time]

lol, when I go to Aldi (California)...lol, it's like walking into a coffee shop in santa cruz--trader joes x10. the employee piercings add a level of ick that doesn't belong in food, so you have to distract yourself by talking to everyone you come across...these days 99% of the conversation is bidenflation..."how on earth did a little carton of flat hashbrowns go from $1.59 in 2020 to $6.05 in 2024 and why is it out of stock 85% of the time?"

[@karenmoore2009]

I just had a 5 minute conversation with a random guy about beef jerky at the gas station today 😂

[@CodeNameSchmoo]

Small talk is not something we "love"; we just consider it polite to acknowledge the other person's presence.

[@argonwheatbelly637]

There's smalltalk, and then there's smile 'n' nod. I enjoy the former and loathe the latter.

[@gretchendietz1599]

And it's funny to hear that we like small talk, yet when it comes to talking to someone when we need or want something, we tend to avoid small talk altogether and just ask for what we need. I've heard Americans being criticized for that.

[@karlbuckles7192]

It really depends on what part of the country you are in. I grew up in the SF Bay Area and have been in rural Kentucky for 18 years now (after retiring from the Navy in Virginia Beach). Around these parts, small talk is a way of life. Head to Knoxville, TN or Louisville or Lexington Kentucky and it is a completely different situation.

[@gretchendietz1599]

@@karlbuckles7192 that's true. I grew up in Vermont and small talk isn't a really big thing there.

[@sarahcc5]

I have no doubt it’s because I’m a southerner and because I’m also “extroverted” I guess. I love small talk, I chat up everyone I meet, cashiers, people in line, waitress, my hygienist and dentist this morning 😂if I sense atall I’m annoying someone/they aren’t interested I just keep it short and sweet (yes/no ma’am/sir Thankyou have a nice day) but I genuinely love meeting strangers and compliment other women’s hair/clothes or say I think someone has a cool tattoo/shoes. Also, if a worker has a particularly great attitude I point it’s out to them and tell them I appreciate them. I also can’t help myself at every opportunity to make a joke, possibly a character flaw 😅Our time at work/in public is full of tiny moments with encountering other people, I hope to make people day better and not worse 🤷‍♀️

[@FourFish47]

No way. Don't get in the front seat of a cab! That's like invading the driver's space and he'll think you're going to rob him

[@Klebkatt]

I think it depends on the city, as I've never had a problem riding in the front. Same with an uber. Once Covid happened, it programed us all to sit in the back and to some extent, it feels as if it's expected now. If ever in doubt, ask the driver.

[@johnalden5821]

In some cities, you literally can't get in the front seat. You go in the back, and there is a plexiglass barrier blocking any access to the driver.

[@markhamstra1083]

@@KlebkattIt’s not about Covid. Driver in front, passengers in the back, even in a physically separate space, goes back centuries to horse-drawn carriages, and carried on into chauffeur-driven cars. In some countries, passengers in the front of a cab or service taxi is no big deal, or even expected. In others, it is definitely an invasion of the driver’s space. Riding in front became more of a thing in the U.S. with the coming of Uber and Lyft, but it is still pretty unusual (or even impossible) in an old-school taxi.

[@thisislife2]

As am uber driver who drives in a city as well as a tourist town, when I drive in the city people usually sit in the back, even prior to C. But big city people when on vacation, they sit up front A LOT more often. They're also more chatty with the driver when they're on vacation.

[@markmartineau1015]

I’ve sat in the front only once when we had 4 passengers.

[@akiwikitten6016]

As someone who worked as a Cashier in America, a large part of my job was learning to make small talk. It's interesting how different customers reacted to it. Some were quieter and more reserved, while others immediately talked excitedly about their day. I learned to read their reactions to determine how much conversation to make with them or not. The people who talked the most were mainly millennials and elderly people. Though, for some older people, I wonder if they lived alone, and I was one of the few people they got to talk to that day.

[@hal4828]

yeah i was a cashier and i noticed the same thing

[@RayNH65]

@@akiwikitten6016 You probably were.

[@mittenvonscrufflears7233]

Some people love small talk and some people hate it. But they won't think you're wierd for initiating a conversation. Personally I'm socially awkward but I do like small talk, I just don't normally initiate it. I think it just makes people feel less alone it's a beautiful thing. Sometimes I even make friends by talking to strangers! So I definitely think more countries should do it, too

[@susansheldon2033]

The personal bubble is important. Arm's length. I've been to many counties and Americans' personal bubble is the biggest. If an American backs up from you, do not move closer. We are friendly but get uncomfortable/anxious when our bubble is invaded. Two exceptions (generally): children and dogs.

[@sassylassie1992]

My only exception is dogs

[@virginiarobbins7539]

I have a sweet older lady I clean for.. she's not hard of hearing.. she'll always step in too closely when she opens door for me and I come in.. if I step away she'll step in closer again. I think it's from the position she had in hospital management that she's use to doing this to have a low key convo in a public place

[@barbarahomrighaus6852]

Oh yeah, little kids and dogs get a pass. And the elderly. And cats.

[@happyfairyjerry]

A grown man putting his hands on me in the middle of a conversation just activates fight or flight 😂

[@SimpleGunner]

i think thats only you bro. i dont have this personal bubble thing.

[@misteryman526]

Yeah in America "No, I don't feel like it" quickly becomes "FUCK OFF" if you keep pushing to change their mind.

[@forbin1185]

yup toledo Ohio can confirm

[@margaretbonanno654]

My politeness can flip in a New York minute.

[@sethwilliams4015]

The classic "I Gotchu" is the warning sign that the "FUCK OFF" is next

[@AK00777]

Word

[@jfree1998]

Yup. It's all polite no thanks no worries until you push hard then it's go pound sand ya dumba33

[@asmytopes]

The “smile” or “head nod” is just a form of acknowledging someone’s existence that you share a space with.

[@lennybuttz2162]

Although in today's era of cell phones and texting this mannerism is becoming extinct.

[@rufflesntruffles2]

i'm american and do both interchangeably lol. it depends who you're talking to

[@myschiefmuintir7357]

@@rufflesntruffles2 I just commented above, where I'm at in Texas, the head nod acknowledgement actually has a meaning, and you either do that or tilt your head up at the person based on your relationship with them. Super interesting when you really look at it, and it can give you some easy to understand cues about social networks. "so and so is friends with so and so" or "so and so has a great amount of respect/deference for so and so" If you can pay attention to these things you can get an introduction anywhere you want.

[@rufflesntruffles2]

@@myschiefmuintir7357 that's really interesting, thank you for sharing!

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

The nod hello is my favorite. I don't like small talk because of autism

[@rayeiswriting4372]

6:08 it’s less that we like small talk, more that we hate awkward silences. You tend to see less small talk in loud bustling cities. More like when you’re in line in a quiet place for several minutes. And whenever you’re in a smaller town, especially shops and such. It’s a vibe thing. Match the vibe

[@margaretlouise6200]

True. Tony Hillerman, the famous author of books about the Navajo police, had one of his Navajo detectives note that Belagaanas (whites) are very uncomfortable about silences, whereas the Navajos will stay silent considering it rude to babble on. One of Tony's detective characters used this fact to get people to give him details he wanted. He would just remain silent and the Belagaana would be so uncomfortable he'd start blabbering out the goods.

[@lurklingX]

yeah but sometimes it's just someone who feels COMPELLED to fill all silences forever and it's nothing to do with the vibe. they aren't reading one for shht. they are just like "omg it's a silence i MUST FILL!" either narcissistically or anxiety driven.

[@mittenvonscrufflears7233]

If you're waiting next to someone and it's quiet, then it's common to initiate small talk. I usually do. Not that there aren't shy people in the US who hate small talk, tho. If they seem very awkward/scared, then drop it. There are plenty of Americans who are terrified of social interaction

[@Dakarn]

"Get ready for small talk." BBC skit: "Northerner terrorizes London by saying 'Hello' to strangers."

[@cherylannejohnson7392]

🤣

[@triologixyt7831]

thats wild 💀💀💀💀

[@cheriesmith4087]

I thought that. Wow you must be southerner lol. It takes forever to get anywhere and the convos on the bus..... xxxx

[@aprillove9869]

I needed that laughter this morning…😂

[@insomniapetals4424]

I feel like I've actually seen this skit...

[@tticusFinch]

The loud American stereotype pairs well with the small talk one. I can't tell you how many times someone will make a remark near other strangers and the strangers will comment back or make a joke in response, which may lead to a brand new conversation between the two strangers. I've seen it happen, I've been part of it, and it's honestly awesome. You often will never know the other person's name but you'll come away feeling better about humanity.

[@chelsmeister]

Yea, unfortunately this is not all throughout the US :( And in those parts [some big cities I've lived in, like Boston and LA], people don't like their neighbors or community as much. They definitely go hand in hand, in my opinion!

[@JamyDMusic]

Grew up in the UK and never acknowledged a stranger in a store on the bus etc. Now living in the south of US, it is crazy how dehumanizing that seems to me now. Absolutely nothing wrong with telling a stranger your life story, it is such a human thing.

[@HazyHuez]

I love doing this to strangers! try to get them to laugh. I was at the wine/beer store the other day, and there was an older lady there reminding her husband she wants wine. she said "I need my glass of wine to relax" i laughed and said "for the health of those around her, get this woman some wine." We ended up laughing and talking for a few minutes. I love these wholesome interactions!

[@Rosalie_Hayes]

@@chelsmeister I disagree, lol. I grew up in Boston and people from Boston totally do make small talk / jokes like this. Some of the funniest jokes I've heard were from random strangers in Boston running their own personal commentary.

[@petetobey3933]

Usually we bond over sports teams, if we see someone in a hat or T-shirt of our favorite team, we’ll comment and chat a bit. Usually it’s just a few sentences about that or the weather or the long wait, but that’s the type of small talk. About 10 years ago, my kids and I were in line for a water slide near Disney World, and I overheard English accents, so I struck up a conversation with a couple from the UK. Since we were in line for a good half-hour, we had a nice conversation about the differences between our countries and what it’s like where we’re from in the US and England, and my kids learned something too.

[@lilscenechick1995]

I like that Americans are known for smiling at people. One of the few good things people recognize us for 😂 And having polite conversations with strangers. I don’t always want to talk to people when I go out to run errands, but it’s nice to have a little chat with a friendly person. “Small talk” isn’t my cup of tea, though. I prefer more interesting things.

[@user-tp4jl4xt6w]

Unfortunately they see it as “fake”. They believe our politeness is not legit or real

[@MariaStarkTargaryen]

@@user-tp4jl4xt6w (I`m Russian) because not everyone in the world likes when a stranger starts to talk to them out of a sudden. A lot of people don`t consider it polite if someone tries to start a conversation with a person they don`t know, I`m sorry. Why would you do that, seriously? My personal maximum of "small talk" is to ask what time it is if I`m not wearing a watch or my cellphone`s battery is dead or to ask for directions in a district or a town I`m not familiar with. And it`s the same for the most people in my country.

[@user-tp4jl4xt6w]

@@MariaStarkTargaryen I 100% understand, some northern US states are pretty introverted compared to the rest of the country so I get your point. It all comes down to cultural differences

[@Ari_C]

​@@MariaStarkTargaryen the fact that not everyone in the world enjoys it doesn't automatically mean that people that do try to have friendly conversations are being fake. I'm fairly introverted and not one for a ton of small talk with loads of people but that doesn't mean I assume people who do try to start conversations with me are just putting on some kind of act. you can tell when someone is being fake nice by the kinds of things they say to you or about others, not by the simple act of starting a conversation

[@deborahhanna9126]

We are cognizant that a polite greeting or small talk has a positive effect on someone's day. Especially elders who may not have regular visitors or may even be shut-ins (depending on situation). It is NOT fake- its just a fact that every single person is an individual who may or may not enjoy being 'seen' for possibly the first time that day and there are studies that show it brings people a sense of connection and is good for mental health. Stay at home moms who only hear 'baby-talk' all day appreciate that. Cashiers who only hear, "What's my total?" appreciate that. Cops who see a lot of bad stuff that need reminding humanity is tolerable need that. It doesn't mean anyone is trying to intrude on their lives; it's a huge country and we are aware we may never see that person again. You have that one chance to make a first impression and to be a light instead of more darkness. We have a saying, "Be the change you want to see" but its really just another version of "Do unto others" Some people say 'Just be kind' it all means to uplift each other because you don't know what the other person is going thru. You don't know how close that person is to the abyss.

[@BAVidmar17]

12:18 if you do this in the United States and don’t accept the polite “no”, don’t be surprised if the American gets angry or tries ending the conversation. Anyone who doesn’t accept our no or tries changing our mind is seen as a scammer, rude, and/or arrogant. Same goes with “yes”. Yes means yes.

[@guitarmama06]

The bubble thing: if you do accidentally bump shoulders or accidentally touch the other person (because, it *is* unavoidable sometimes), *IMMEDIATELY* apologize. They'll usually say "that's ok/alright/fine." But that doesn't mean you're allowed to do it again, even on purpose.

[@PoppiMorrison-nk6kw]

Exactly 💯

[@annpachini2155]

Exactly. To me it’s automatic to apologize to someone for bumping them, I remember one time I was in Sears and I bumped into someone and automatically apologized but then I realized it was a mannequin. There was a guy behind me and he absolutely lost it he was laughing so hard. I got to laughing too. It was hilarious

[@katieshappell7586]

Yes, but also, make it a quick, snappy, "whoops, I'm sorry!" Then move on.

[@lennybuttz2162]

When I lived in Milwaukee and took the bus home from work downtown the bus would be so crowded you had no choice but to stand shoulder to shoulder or bump into someone when it lurched to a stop. In that case no one says anything because it's happening with everyone.

[@halcyon6098]

Yup especially in NYC. Quick sorry n keep moving. Another tip for when in NYC : never stop to talk to someone. When they ask you a question just keep walking and say no. Never stop

[@Banyo__]

#7 If you want to test this theory out, literally go up to an American and start some small talk and move in just a little bit closer, then a minute later, just a little bit more into their bubble. An American will keep backing up until they get really annoyed and ask what you're trying to do, weirdo! That bubble is our personal space and you being in the bubble is not cool at all unless you are friends or family. This is important to know. Prime example: Our unspoken rule is if there are like 5 chairs, and we're sitting in one, and you come in, do not sit right next to us UNLESS you are a friend/family. Otherwise, leave at least one chair between you and another person unless there are absolutely no other chairs available.

[@sassylassie1992]

💯

[@_greybones925]

Oh yes! Good one. I hate when someone does that it weirds me out.

[@weewhorobin8202]

So true

[@cluckieschickens]

Also, bathroom etticate, take the furthest stall away, do not sit in the one next to anyone, unless it is the last one. Also, my personal bubble is like 3 to 6 feet.

[@Banyo__]

@cluckieschickens ha true. Nothing is more irritating than someone who doesn't get this?

[@hippychick0110]

Small talk with the older ppl is a must..sometimes they live alone & need that little conversation & smile

[@michelletrujillo3738]

I love that you think if this too, I always have time for small talk with the elderly.

[@TheThesourc]

We had an elderly Gentlemen join our table the other morning, I bet we talk about 2 hours.

[@x10000firefliesx]

Offering to help them is simply polite too.

[@justcallmeteacup4711]

Yes if older people come to talk to me I try not to shy away

[@tjsogmc]

Not all lonely people are elderly.

[@jeanettevandiver8934]

Americans really do like their bubble space. After having been in Britain and western Europe, the bubble really stood out. In Scotland, we went into a tea shop. As we three sat at a table, a couple came in and sat at the end. We looked at each other, side-eyed the couple, back at each other, side-eyed them again, then wondered why they'd sit at "our" table. They completely ignored us, which we thought was odd (maybe they had been arguing or just having a bad day?). Our friends later shared that people there share spaces. What a concept!

[@myschiefmuintir7357]

yeah this is a big thing here in America that doesn't happen in most European countries. Here, if we're seated at a table for a diner or restaurant, the general rule is that's our table and nobody else will use it. In Europe, if there are empty seats somewhere, typically they'll seat someone there, even if the table is being used by others already. I find it a good way to make friends if you break that social barrier and ask one of the other party a question. You'll get some stares at first, but ask the right question or in the right way and you're in. Really breaks the tension that you feel as an American, because now everyone is involved in the meal conversation. Once you get the question right enough times you learn to be a pretty good guess at what you should ask a certain group lol.

[@benrodir2]

@@myschiefmuintir7357 I would hate that with a passion and leave immediately if someone was sat at my table.... yuck

[@ManyArmedMooseDei]

Odd. In my experience, Americans tend to invade space like nobody else. Sitting next to a stranger on the bus because that’s the only seat open is normal, but Americans take space invasion to another level. They’ll touch unsolicited, get so close in a line you can feel their clammy breath on the back of your neck, get way too close for no reason, slap you on the back for no apparent reason, etc. They have no concept of personal space, but then, with men at least, get uncomfortable and flustered when a bloke starts getting close towards THEM.

[@tarisaleblanc5347]

@@ManyArmedMooseDei Not all Americans but definitely some. I was at the grocery store with my grandma, one time, and as I was putting things on the belt for the cashier to ring up, I looked back and noticed that my grandma looked terrified. I looked behind her and saw that the man behind her was full-body pressed against her!!! She was so scared she couldn’t move. I carefully moved her forward and stepped in between and said a few choice words to the man. What the ever-lovin’?!?!

[@gomadmama2058]

As a rule, the average American doesn't like strangers standing any closer than necessary. Definitely need to respect personal space.

[@oldergent5266]

My wife and I (Americans, Southern California) went on vacation to the U.K a few months ago. One of the stops was Cobh,Ireland, and we took a train to Cork, home of some of our ancestors. As I was pushing my wife’s wheelchair along a bumpy sidewalk, we came across a close-to-elderly-but-not-quite-yet lady washing her front door and windows, which opened directly onto the sidewalk. We approached and wished her a good morning and asked if there was a pub nearby. She said that it was a “wee bit early for a pub” and they might not be open yet. We told her that drinking a pint of Guinness in an actual Irish pub was on both of our bucket lists and we’d be happy to sit and wait there for them to open. She smiled and informed us that if we were willing to sit and wait in front of the pub, then maybe we’d be willing to sit and wait in front of her door and tell her about our travels and our home, and she’d tell us all she could about Cork and Ireland in general. We spent a good hour and a half with that lovely lady, then followed her directions to fulfill an old dream. I guess that she hadn’t gotten the memo about not chatting with strangers LOL!

[@Autumn_Forest_]

Aww, that’s so awesome!!

[@KS-ip5xn]

What a lovely story.

[@nancykaminski8600]

I was hiking in Exmoor a few years ago, and one day also visited a town (Minehead?) anyway, there was a couple sitting on a bench and they had a dachshund. I have two dachshunds here in Minneapolis and I naturally exclaimed “A wiener dog! What is her name? Can I pet her?” They said of course and we proceeded to chat about our dogs for ten minutes. Now to me that is perfectly natural, to start talking to strangers, but now I think maybe they thought it was strange. But they were perfectly charming to me and maybe they cut me some slack since I was obviously an American tourist, and one who needed a wiener dog fix!

[@mrgclough]

That's Ireland. The Irish can, as we say, talk the hind leg off a donkey. There are just so many mistaken or exaggerated things said about any place that it's best to keep your eyes and ears open. Keep the advice in mind, but be prepared for it to be disproved. I read more than one "authority" who warned to always be rigorous about buying a round when it was your turn in an Irish pub. Shoot. I'd have had to fight someone to pay for a round when I was there. They behaved exactly as we would have at home with an Irish visitor.

[@jgg59]

It’s incredible that you were in Ireland, which is not part of the UK and did not understand that. God Americans are so ignorant

[@tippytoes2358]

In America, be sure to hold the door if someone is coming up behind you. Upon visiting the Parliament building in the U.K., someone just let the door slam back and hit me but I caught it at the last minute. Then a gentleman standing nearby exclaimed, "Mind the Door!!" In America, someone will usually hold the door and if they do not see me and it hit me, someone else might say, "Are you OK?" I would not get rebuked for letting a door almost hit me. However, if I were a teen or college student, my peers would have just laughed at me (yes, even in America).

[@charlieschuder9976]

I always feel terrible when I hold the door for someone and am waiting, when they turn around to shout a quick "Hey man!" to somebody or something, and I accidentally slam the door in their face.

[@garycamara9955]

Europeans are naturally RUDE!

[@EtherealSunset]

To be fair, that's just ignorant and bad manners in the UK too. It's just good manners to hold the door for someone and also to get the door for someone if they have their hands full or are pushing something. "Manners don't cost anything." was what everyone used to say when I was younger. I don't know if they still do now though. I'm only in my 30s, so I'm not talking decades ago.

[@eileencritchley4630]

The mind the door is another way of saying are you ok lost in translation.

[@megwenger8756]

So true!

[@CamilaCruz-lz4sy]

Pro tip: In some parts of america, when someone is talking to you they might call you "babe", "baby", "sweetheart" "honey" or other pet names. This is used mostly by older people. Please don't take this in an bad way they are just being friendly. They are not flirting either so don't confront or you'll make the conversation weird. Hope this helped❤

[@CountryFrau]

Yes but I'm o!very 65--and I find it rude if a person dramatically younger than I am calls me such things! To me it only seems right if it is the older person using those terms and then maybe just "dear.". Anything else just screams waitress or drive-through worker to me. Ma'am is always good...

[@joymontague251]

Yes depends on state. Some people are very friendly in some states and has nothing to do with flirting. In other states it may make people cringe. Also people from places very friendly feel slighted or that people in some states are rude because they are not so friendly.

[@tashasmith1234]

Regions! Yep, no one would do that in Washington state, but yes, at the waffle house in TN. We don't have sweet tea or Waffle houses here!! 😂😊

[@CowboysBunny8]

This is true but as a Californian I will be uncomfortable with a stranger calling me “babe”. I’ve heard it but I don’t like it. However I fully expect people to call me “dude” or “ma’am” and I’m fine with either..

[@caro31099]

⁠@@CountryFrauI’d never say it to someone older but if an old lady calls me baby, sugar etc I think it’s so sweet.

[@janet0613.]

9:50 the American me screamed “HELL NO” when you described the lack of personal bubble in the UK

[@ganondoofd4281]

11:31 i agree 100% on the sentiment of being "loud" is a sign of being comfortable in your space. over here in the US if its a loud bustling room full of people u can assume that theres good vibes and no bad blood mixed in, its when people start getting quiet and hushed that you wonder if theres something wrong. i guess we're just built for sharing good times!

[@lynnw7155]

But don't be loud in nice restaurants. People go there for a nice meal and quiet conversation.

[@stuckinmyshow]

​@lynnw7155 agreed. I think theres definitely a time and place

[@ericankney5957]

​@@lynnw7155it happens when the entire room is 100 different quiet conversations just trying to hear each other, and it slowly ramps up to everyone being loud... We don't just walk into a quiet place and start yelling... On the flip, nothing will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up like being in a place that gets suddenly quiet...

[@WillyEarl098]

Louder people: 1 grew up in a large family. 2 work in a loud environment regularly. 3 Drunk, but that u iversal.😂😂😂

[@h.s.6269]

Well there are different variations. Because waiting areas for doctor's offices are often very quiet soas not to disturb others waiting. Small quieter conversations may be happening, but people try not to be loud there. And taking a phone call without immediately stepping outside is also a big no-no. Unless its super short like just saying you are busy atm and will call them back after visit.

[@robertbasfordiii4130]

American here, but spent some time in the UK. As far as differences in manners go I'll never forget being at what amounted to a house party in the UK when someone accidentally bumped into me causing me to spill some of my drink on the floor. I apologized to them (for being in their way) and asked the host for a rag to clean up the mess. Everyone thought I was the most polite person they have ever met. This is pretty common in the US even if it's essentially someone else's fault. It's really more about respect for the host and them opening up their home to you. An American would feel responsible about making a mess in their house regardless of whose "fault" it was.

[@brandonhainstock2928]

lol, that greatly depends. your probably equally likely to get a 'wtf bro?!' and start a fight. spilling someones drink is a major party foul.

[@MusicalInquisit]

Bruh, and here I am with my ass being like “Wtf bro, now I have to clean this shit up because you were running indoors.” If it is someone I know, I say sorry, though… This may perhaps be backward priorities.

[@megwenger8756]

Absolutely! I would never do otherwise 😦

[@Whippy99]

We Brits apologise for EVERYTHING! Only the Canadians are more polite than us. 😂😂 Also, sorry to be a pain in the derrière, but what’s your stance on queuing? 😂😂

[@JadedeaJade]

@@Whippy99 I don't like. No one can queue right. They all have creative differences lol.

[@jetkismet2345]

(I’m American) We were all shocked when a friend’s British boyfriend called her a “silly cow”. Never ever call someone a cow. We corrected him that “silly goose” is much more appropriate.

[@sandralouth3103]

I have a friend who married a brit. They were having a party and my friend said "I'd better get off my fanny and get dinner out". The room went silent. It seems the word fanny means the "C" word (rhymes with grunt).

[@katrinabillings7011]

🤣

[@AngelaVEdwards]

Yeah you especially do not want to call a woman a cow. Nope, nope, nope.

[@charlottearsenault402]

In the south we call them heifers! It’s just another way to say, “ya dummy!”

[@kathybramley5609]

Silly cow is too harsh for a lot of people in the UK but silly goose would be still insulting and sound weirdly archaic and quaint too, so harder to respond to.

[@kenhammond3810]

Lifelong American here. Regarding personal space, I once knew a guy who had survived a severe head injury years before I met him. By the time I knew him, he had mostly recovered amazingly well. In fact, he had some savant-like language abilities. At church he carried a Greek New Testament, and would translate to English on the fly as he was reading. But one of the things he lost was the ability to read social cues. He would stand up in the middle of the church service to correct the pastor if he thought he disagreed with the interpretation of some Greek word, with his Greek Bible in hand. And whenever he would engage you in conversation, he severely invaded the personal space bubble. He would push in, the person would back away, and he'd continue pushing in, propelling the other person around the room. He was also unable to pick up on cues that the conversation was over, and to move on. People could get stuck with him for an uncomfortably long time, and you couldn't get out without being rude, which many people weren't willing to do. The only thing those people could hope for was a distraction. 😄

[@madelion24]

It always makes me laugh when I start to have small talk with someone outside of the USA and they immediately relax when they hear my accent. At first they'll be closed off, but then there is this moment of "Oh American" and they just kind of go with it. I'm from the south so "yall" is a given. I started talking to someone in Versailles(offering to take a photo of a couple as the lighting was nice) and another person over heard my accent and immediately came over. We found out we were from the same state/area. It was honestly lovely. We ended up meeting up a few times before they left to go home.

[@fallionwater117]

Years back my father decided to take us Cap St Ignace (Canada) for our holiday and halfway through the totally French part of Quebec our van broke down. No English tv. No one but our family members to speak with. Then on the fifth day we heard some child yell, "Hey Mom!!!". Lol, we bolted out the door like jack-rabbits. Funny how hearing your own language after a period of not doing will wake you up!!!

[@renlosee5223]

I live in Utah now. Born in Idaho (which I jokingly say is a displaced southern state) moved to MD then out here. I'm a 'y'all'er. Understandably. But some people freaking yelled at me that I am not from the South! I can't say y'all. I went, 'Excuse me?!' Next they'll be telling me I can't go round talkinf about somethin in the past in present tense or I can't say ain't!

[@Remiiniiscee]

@@renlosee5223 really? where I am most people use y'all over "you guys" that's new

[@renlosee5223]

​@@Remiiniisceethis was downtown Salt Lake City. No sirs or ma'ams allowed there either lol. Drove me crazy. Fortunately I live in southern part of valley now where fewer people give a crap 😂

[@TheJadeDragonWasTaken]

(American here!) A lot of Americans also do the head nod thing! I do it quite often (while smiling, but still!) Also, for the "Indirectness is key," thing, that's not always true! If someone just won't leave you alone or is being pushy (or creepy), a "no" can easily become a "go away!" or a "screw off!"

[@Thr33.Sid3z]

Except it's not a downward nod, it's a "what's up" nod

[@TheJadeDragonWasTaken]

@@Thr33.Sid3z that's true, but both are a kind of greeting!

[@draconicisha]

No no, the head tilt down is to acknowledge a stranger and be polite, tilting up is greeting a familiar person, as for indirectness, you still start that way, the screw off is reserved for when they DO get pushy, we start polite but have 0 issue resorting to brusqueness when ignored

[@kariimora]

The chin goes up instead of the head going down, head down in my area signals submission and flicking the chin up like “wassup” is the usual passer-by greeting

[@GensChilledCola]

@@kariimora yess exactly, If i walk past a stranger especially if they're older than me, I'll do a nod down, if It's a peer ill do the nod up, the only time I don't nod is if it's a young kid, I normally give them a wave

[@mshonle]

Tourists who go to the supermarket in the US should always place the plastic partition after they’ve placed all of their items on the conveyor belt. It lets the person behind them know “it’s ok for you to load your stuff now”. Not putting down the partition and, worse, standing in the way to prevent the person behind you from loading their stuff on a half empty conveyor belt is basically saying “I’m the only person in the world who matters.” Following the partition rule is just common courtesy.

[@lancekirkwood7922]

And it also let's the cashier know when to stop, instead of ringing up something that's not yours.

[@dianaguenzler2897]

That's a good thing to do but not every grocery store has the separation bars. You wait for space to distinguish grocery orders.

[@dianaguenzler2897]

The server uses your tables at a restaurant. It isn't the same for fast food places. I agree, there's nothing less satisfying than giving a gift and not seeing the person's reaction. People in general are friendly and polite but respect our personal space.

[@lancekirkwood7922]

@dianaguenzler2897 or ill place the large items last as a divider.

[@AndrewSmith-ly8rw]

❤

[@RationalistRebel]

#12: I think a major thing about wearing shoes indoors is that in the US most public spaces are paved, so the amount of dirt that gets tracked in is fairly low compared to some countries. Also, Americans generally have separate footwear for hiking or work where they're expected to get dirty. They'd change into cleaner shoes before going out or visiting a friend.

[@AmandaPotechko]

I usually let people wear shoes in my apartment no matter the season. I also live in a city so paved sidewalks and paved roads are abundant. I'm in a mid-sized state in PA... Little tip: if you don't want to spend lots of money on cabs, go to the local terminal and check out the bus routes. All the buses are in one location now(we like to pretend we're a more affordable New York... We're not though). A day pass is $4 there's a 10-ride pass and a 20-ride pass. There's also a monthly pass for $60, depending on how long you're staying. If you're tech-savvy, there's even a way to pay on your phone. One caveat: the paper passes(pretty much anything except the monthly pass) are flimsy and don't always go through the fare box properly(because they're ancient) but the bus drivers will work with you. The only exception to this rule is the day pass, that while still paper, gets scanned on an electronic box where you would also scan your phone pass if you were tech-savvy. Always store passes in a wallet and never feel pressured to give out money to strangers(if fact, hide your money... it's safer).

[@RationalistRebel]

@@AmandaPotechko My city has a similar system for bus passes, including a scan-able plastic card tied to an online account. The card eliminates the need to carry change and automatically caps fairs at the daily or monthly rate. I find it easier and faster than fumbling with their phone app.

[@joshuahallett6235]

In the U.S. if you don’t at least acknowledge someone in a confined space they are likely to on guard that you’re plotting something. Using the elevator for example it could be something as simple as “What Floor you need?” “6, thanks” and then it can go quiet

[@arianekelly2633]

What😂 lived there all my life. Had a few people that didnt give me the feel goods about getting in the elevator with me. But the criteria didnt involve explicitly acknowledging my existence. 😂😅

[@simondeep]

@@TheLisaGatei think elevator quiet is the norm now, especially with complete strangers. Though, older folk usually chat first-too blessed to stress at that age i guess

[@DrPluton]

As a Hoosier, I practice the social nod as a way to acknowledge somebody without speaking.

[@pomztoybox6877]

Exactly! I generally engage a stranger just to get a feel for their possible intentions.

[@QuentinPlant]

As a German I would "acknowledge" other people in an elevator - meet their eyes, a short nod, something like that. If it's at work, I'd say hello or something like that. But that's all - chatting only for special occasions like really bad weather outside etc.

[@Mrs_Mama_MFT]

We moved back to America after living in Belgium in Belgium for three years. I was trying to teach my 7 year old about how Americans like “personal space” (what her referred to as your bubble). She said, “but Mama you don’t have personal space.” I told her that when you become a Mama you give up your right to personal space. Some lady overheard and was laughing 😂

[@RoxyHall52]

my son is 4 and I keep telling him not everyone likes it when he's invading their personal space. I called him a "space invader" and he caught on. Bluey can be very educational. Yes, every mama does give up their personal space for life. Unless it's stranger then my bubble is activated.

[@Mikeygamer1]

Yes of course your child said you don't have personal space 😂 sounds about right

[@srodriguez721]

Very true…lol

[@ilovesparky13]

Yuck

[@liammcconnell9322]

@@ilovesparky13?

[@juliebaker6969]

In some areas of the US it's actually ILLEGAL to sit in the front seat of a cab. This is usually in higher crime urban areas. In SOME places there will even be bars, a grill, or even bullet proof glass separating the front and back seats for the safety of the driver.

[@lennybuttz2162]

I always ask if I can sit in the front because I'm a big guy and it's easier to get in out of the front seat. Also a lot of taxi drivers have stuff all over the front seat, paperwork, newspaper, food so it's also not an option.

[@juliebaker6969]

@@lennybuttz2162 Yeah, I prefer the front seat too, especially if I have very far to go since I get car sick and it's worse in the back than the front. I'm also on oxygen, so it's easier to accommodate my equipment in the front since, like you said, there's more leg room. But half of the time the driver will refuse such a request.

[@lennybuttz2162]

@@juliebaker6969 We used to have 3 taxi services but now just 1 so you have to reserve a time 1, 2 or even 3 days ahead of time. Then I tell them I want a van to pick me up because they have vans and cars. I've never had a taxi driver tell me I can't sit in the front.

[@dayoffnow]

A word about the American "bubble" (our personal space). I don't know how many Americans have noticed this, but it varies according to what region you're from. In general, people who are from densely crowded cities tend to have a larger invisible "bubble." Whereas, people from "the country" (as we say, meaning, more sparsely populated rural areas) tend to be more comfortable with a smaller "bubble." Our "bubble" is a subconscious defense mechanism against feeling crowded as well as feeling the need for more privacy.

[@theoxster]

We head nod here too, the nod down is for strangers and the nod up is for people you know

[@virginiaoflaherty2983]

I didn't know the meaning of up/down nods. Thanks.

[@lauriewelsh8554]

@@LibraryLizard I always heard it was a motorcycle thing. Nod upwards when you are on a motorcycle to other motorcyclists.

[@jennifersilves4195]

​@@LibraryLizardWomen do too.

[@elithunder]

It can also be an age thing: down nod to people older than you as a sign of respect, up nod to people your age and younger as a sign of friendship.

[@GoinBand2]

​@virginiaoflaherty2983 it's a culture thing. Years ago when men wore hats, gentlemen would tip their hats in greeting someone, then it became touching the brim of the hat as you slightly bowed your head. It has since evolved to just nodding downward. Now, in black culture which has spread to also include younger generations of all colors, tilting one's head up to a friend is short for, "What's up?"

[@Tsunamidragon17]

I was visiting my boyfriend who lived in England and us and his friends went to watch a movie together. After the movie was over I heard one of the guys go, "Well you could defiantly tell where the American was in the theater" because I guess I laughed loud compared to others in the room. I didn't realize I was so much louder then others.

[@TwistedRootsMelody]

Not a bad thing at all to laugh loud ❤

[@marialimey5924]

I’m a Brit living in Texas, been here years. When I go home everyone thinks I talk so much louder now. 😢

[@Ur-ryte.]

​@@marialimey5924tellem everything's bigger in Texas ❤

[@DJVideso]

@@Ur-ryte. Including your mom

[@MadMayorZag]

I laughed the loudest, who'd have known? (Blink-182)

[@charlizemundy4910]

also if you’re in the midwest be prepared to be driving down a two way two lane road and be given a little wave from the person coming from the opposite direction. sometimes just two fingers lifted off the steering wheel as a sort of “wave”. don’t ask why we do it idk😂

[@lucyladora23]

we do that in the South too

[@katstorm13]

I usually only see that in more rural areas. Apparently motorcyclists do it often, and people who drive the same make/model of cars. I'm guessing it's sporty or less common cars. My boyfriend drives a Subaru WRX, they always acknowledge each other, and sometimes approach the other car in a parking lot to admire the other lol.

[@mloffel5027]

Funny I only get the one finger waves

[@lucyladora23]

@@katstorm13 they put a finger down on motorcycles.

[@samjohnson7869]

I usually ignore people who do that lol

[@tarisaleblanc5347]

One of the sweetest ladies I’ve be ever known surprisingly taught me that if you get awful service at a restaurant, do NOT not leave a tip. They’ll just think you forgot. Instead, leave a quarter. They’ll definitely understand that.

[@cajuncraftysue]

I’m an American. A friend of mine went to see some friends in Britain. His friend had some people over for drinks before they went to dinner. When it got close to time to go to dinner, my friend said out loud “Oh, I want to change my pants before we go to dinner.” He went to his room to change. His friend was waiting for him in the hallway after he had changed. He told him “In Britain changing your “pants” means changing your underwear. You don’t change your pants, you change your “trousers”. 😆

[@jagd1]

😂

[@LindaC-ze5ob]

😁🤭😳

[@margaretlouise6200]

We Americans would be wondering if he had wet his pants. I once was speaking my introductory hello to new people I was to be supervisor of. I had cut my hand and had a bandage on it. So I explained in Southern English that I had a bo-bo. (Long o's) Well, everyone started laughing because in that culture having a bo-bo means you have a load in your pants.

[@SouthernIowaLady]

I usually say "need to change clothes."

[@snailcheeseyt]

@@margaretlouise6200i dont think boo boos are southern english cuz everyone round me says it n im in ny

[@andycofin6983]

To begin with, I’m 65, and a teacher/minister, so I’m not afraid to talk to strangers. One of my favorite stunts when I get into a quiet, crowded elevator is to step in, look everyone in the eye, and say, “You’re probably wondering why I called you all here”. It breaks the ice, makes everyone laugh and the small talk begins to flow.

[@cw5451]

That’s cute! 😆

[@marys2035]

I'm stealing that one from you. That sounds like fun 😂

[@obcane3072]

That's hilarious. But you got to be ready to keep the party going!

[@spamh8r1007]

Ha ha ha... Love it!! Only you can pull that off with your maturity and confidence.

[@88kayleigh]

Ok that’s funny 😂

[@JessieGirl3]

I'm 66, Black, and live in Florida. I was taught as a child to never address an adult by their first name and it still surprises me to hear sons- or daughters-in-law call their spouses parents by their first name. At a minimum, you could call an adult female "Miss (first name)" regardless of marital status and all men were called "Mr. (first or last name)." I know very few people who ask you to remove your shoes at their homes with the exception of my Asian friends and some Caribbean friends. I make sure to take a pair of socks when I'm invited over. I'm a smiler but if I encounter someone who is unresponsive to a smile, I just ignore them and walk on. A smile can really make someone's day because you never know what people are going through and it's such a small gesture to lift a person's spirit.

[@Trudel-xb2gn]

I’m a Montanan (57) and we taught our children and now grandchildren to address adults as “Miss” or “Mister” and then the Last Name. Once they became familiar, if they were invited to call the person by their first name, it was understood that they still used Miss or Mister - ie. Miss Becky. Regarding shoes, we, too, taught a “no shoes” policy in homes out of respect. In our own home, the kids could wear their “indoor” shoes if they chose but usually they preferred just socks. These small gestures of respect instilled young have far reaching impact.

[@KJ-nv9uz]

I think the shoe thing is a Florida thing and maybe states near it?removing shoes is a practice my family started years ago when we live in Japan, and continue to this day. many years later in the US. We had a Florida visitor about a year ago that was greatly confused why every1 kept taking their shoes off upon entering the house, and other ppls houses.... I also think this trend grew in the US over the years as it was way more common place when we moved back stateside.

[@bekkakay8573]

Hear, hear! A smile really can help people. It’s easy to do and doesn’t cost anything.😊

[@LinN4Yuh]

I have my young kids address familiar adults (like neighbors) by Mr./Ms. [first name]. It still keeps things casual while letting them know it’s a sign of respect.

[@kenp1298]

This is so true! I also grew up in Florida and taught this- maybe it’s a Southern thing to address parents/older folks with an added “Mrs/Miss” or “Mr”

[@wynk7788]

I'm American--Don't wear your shoes in my house. Actually everyone I know prefers you take your shoes off in the house. This is becoming common courtesy so I just do it whenever I go to someone's house.

[@spaceshiplewis]

Getting in the front seat of someone else's car is how you carjack people. So unless you have 3 or more in your party, stay in the back of the cab.

[@ravinhud4979]

It is mor3 scary to be car jacked from the side or back of the head? I get in the back on passenger side

[@spaceshiplewis]

@@ravinhud4979 Yeah, sitting behind the driver is sketchy. But at least America you can more covertly reach for your gun. But the more annoying thing would be when the rider gets bored and messes with your entertainment system.

[@The_Crucible714]

If you get into the front seat of a cab in NYC the driver may expect some “intimate interfacing.”

[@Wud-f2r]

@@ravinhud4979at least in most big cities the cabs commonly have a panel of bulletproof plexiglass between the driver and the back seat with just little grills and slots to exchange words and payment.

[@eileencritchley4630]

@@Wud-f2r good grief bulletproof panel are you in a war zone? Really American's and their gun culture.

[@gretchendietz1599]

I watched a movie that took place in the UK where a group of people took the same train every day but they never spoke to each other until one guy decided to change it. I remember thinking how strange that was because here if you take the train (especially the commuter train) with the same people, you start talking to them, sitting with them, becoming at least a little part of their lives. We all have who we call "train friends".

[@jeremypearson9019]

Yes, that's very common in the USA. If you see the same stranger two times in the same place (the bus stop, the grocery store, the coffee shop, etc.) we can't help but introduce ourselves to get to know them, or at least acknowledge the coincidence with a short conversation like: "Hey, I saw you here yesterday." "Yeah, I come here all the time." "Maybe I'll see you again." And then, before you know it, you're joining a softball team together.

[@MonkeyGod000]

Another big difference is bars here. In England, you order your drink at the bar, then go sit elsewhere. In America you can sit right at the bar, have conversations with the bar tender or anyone around you if you know them or not. You can go to a table for more privacy with friends or to have more room. But Americans generally like to sit at the bar and talk.

[@twatts1523]

Haha, my friend learned that the hard way. We were having a beer in a pub in London. The bartender came by the table and cleared her empty glass. She asked if he would bring her another, and he abruptly said, “No, you have 2 perfectly good legs to go to the bar and get it yourself.

[@karlbmiles]

And in the Western U.S. it's common to lay your money out on the bar ready for the next round, and nobody will mess with it.

[@FreekTwizted]

man the personal space thing is very real over here lol. ive gotten into more than a few fights over people just being to close to me growing up lol.

[@SdW.8]

Do you know what a "Midwestern goodbye" is?! Lol if you're from another country and find small talk difficult, this is going to be painful ---like three extra hours you weren't expecting to talk to someone after you said goodbye...3, 4 or even 5 times! If it's close to meal time, you'll likely be asked to join. Great video! Much love from the Midwest US 💖

[@jessica3548]

Ope, don't forget to tell them to watch out for deer!

[@CapitalCityKate]

The deep breath in and out as both hands slap down on your thighs, "Weeelp, guess we should be heading out" - followed by another few minutes of goodbyes. Ope.

[@karengp162]

OMG, after 35 years, that explains why my husband's family says goodbye 5 times & don't get out the door! The Midwest is the friendliest part of the country that I've found so far ❤People sometimes make jokes about them for their friendliness & sincerity, but I think it's sweet.

[@rachelmr24]

That’s a midwest only thing? Oops. I need to go explain myself to a couple people. 😂

[@brittanyagm]

we did this in Louisiana too!

[@jodyharnish9104]

About small talk, I tend to compliment people when I'm out and about. Telling someone their dress is pretty, their T-shirt is funny, or their hair looks great can really make their day! They may need a little cheering up. You never know.

[@Autumn_Forest_]

I do the same!! It makes people so happy. I only do it with all sincerity, as people can really tell you’re being honest.

[@ladyelainefairchild3546]

Oh god are you Texan or Midwestern? My ex was Texan and he always wanted to chat up strangers in the Northeast I had to keep telling him NO they don’t want to talk to you. Leave that person on the train platform alone.

[@montanateri6889]

@jodyharnish9104 But never ever compliment someone to their face, as in you doing a full stop and then the compliment. You do it in passing. Like walking by someone going in the opposite direction, you say, "love those shoes!" or "That is a cool tie." and keep walking. They will look shocked and then pleased, and their voice will follow you with a "thank you!" to which you reply, with a casual glance backward as you are still walking away from them, "You're welcome - you have a super day." and you never stop walking... which then ends the conversation. Can't compliment someone in a waiting room or who's going in the same direction as you, as then you'll get the "I got these shoes as !!X place, you know it?" and then you're stuck talking to someone when you just wanted to give them a smile for the day. (like you said, you're just making them smile and its unbelievable how great that can feel to a person)

[@jodyharnish9104]

@@montanateri6889 I've had some lovely conversations start this way, actually! I've had several people respond to a compliment on something by happily telling me that they got it at a thrift store, and then we get into a chat about thrift stores.

[@jodyharnish9104]

@@ladyelainefairchild3546 I'm from Kansas, but I live in Washington state now. People in Washington are pretty friendly, so it's easy to strike up a conversation. I had a friend visit from England once, and he was very surprised when we went to the grocery store. The people there greeted him happily by saying things like, "Oh, you must be her friend from England! How do you like it here?". My friend said you wouldn't get that in England. It really made him feel welcome.

[@KaiyaReacts]

I know in certain places, like Japan, see it as polite to slurp your food to show the cook that you're enjoying your meal. But, in the US, it's seen as rude to slurp your food/drink, chew with your mouth open, and talk with food in your mouth.

[@DelphineDenton]

No. It's myth. There's no stigma against slurping slightly in parts of Asia, but it's not considered polite. A lot of us learned this in the 2000s, but it's a cultural misunderstanding.

[@okamitsu1212]

Also, if you do talk with food in your mouth, you should cover your mouth with a hand. That’s what I end up doing because I’m a yapper

[@stephaniegalliart859]

​@@DelphineDentonmy 55-year-old Japanese teacher FROM JAPAN literally taught us this in high school though, so is it a myth? Maybe it's just a regional thing! Like how people from Kyoto are generally gonna be different from people from Osaka. Or someone raised in San Francisco is gonna be different from someone from Marfa, Texas. Idk what to tell you, I don't think she'd lie to us for fun, though.

[@Musicmusic-777]

I lived in Okinawa for 3yrs. Slurping abound 😂​@stephaniegalliart859

[@joecentral-o9984]

I will tell someone eating loudly or slurping to shut the hell up. Talk or eat not both.

[@adelaidesiegers]

The gift thing does have some exceptions, like if it's a specific gathering such as a wedding or birthday party. There might be a designated place for the gifts to be placed and they may or may not open them during the event.

[@jjbud3124]

I had a UberEats delivery yesterday. It was raining like crazy all day. As the delivery guy stood under my awning, I spoke to him about the weather for a minute and he left with a big smile on his face. That's what small talk is about. I was also smiling to myself because I had made his day a tiny bit more pleasant.

[@SarahMontee-l4o]

YES! I like to chat with people at the checkout because they're a human being - standing there all day scanning groceries must be beyond the pale boring. Why not brighten their day and acknowledge them as a person, make their day go a little better/faster, etc. That could be me standing there - how would I like to be treated? The golden rule :)

[@h.s.6269]

​@@SarahMontee-l4ogotta love hearing another mention the golden rule. I'd already replied to another comment and I mentioned it, lol. It's deeply ingrained in many of my generation (millenial) imo.

[@itsskye5002]

At least for me, I notice that (as an American) a lot of us combine the smile with a head nod, like whenever I pass someone on a walk, if we make eye contact or something its just a quick acknowledgement and sometimes it can brighten peoples day!

[@twatts1523]

Yes, it’s like an energy check, it is reassuring and makes me feel safe. It makes me nervous when someone doesn’t even acknowledge my presence, especially when passing in an isolated corridor.

[@myschiefmuintir7357]

I've always seen it as the head nod is "I acknowledge your presence" and the smile is "I'm friendly, and you're safe here", If someone does both, it's a welcome thing, but one or the other suffices to let someone know your intentions aren't nefarious in any way

[@thewinterprince1731]

As an American, don't worry too much about the small talk thing outside of business etiquette. It's common, but not so common that everyone converses with everyone at random. Usually it's either a result of high spirits ("You seem happy today, what's up?"), curiosity about something genuine ("Did you say there's a concert in town?"), or an apparent/obvious mutual interest ("Dude is that a Cryoshell t-shirt? I love that band!").

[@meanmutton]

It depends on the region. Midwest? We chat up folks all the time. The coasts and big cities? Everyone ignores each other and it's rude to chat people up.

[@SharonPerson-hm9ds]

​@@meanmuttonLots of small talk here in Western Massachusetts.

[@litpath3633]

seems like something that is becoming less common lately, but much stronger in rural areas. My grandma goes to Walmart and by the time she leaves she knows everyone's favorite color and their full life history of everyone in the store. That's a lost art it seems. lol

[@SharonPerson-hm9ds]

@litpath3633 I definitely laughed out loud at your description of your grandma at Walmart, because that's like me at Kohl's!!🤣🤣🤣

[@cyberspace7208]

Depends. You have to acknowledge people with small talk

[@sinnersoath855]

As an a American, we often take touch as a threat, especially if you aren’t very close with us. 😂

[@ManyArmedMooseDei]

Odd, for as a European, I found that in America, the people were FAR too touchy-feely. Sudden unwarranted contact in my culture is seen as a rather a threat, as if one is about to strike someone or pickpocket them, and I instinctively block any unwarranted touching beyond a light shoulder tap, and even then I don’t like physical contact with strangers due to germs and sensory unpleasantry.

[@sinnersoath855]

@@ManyArmedMooseDei Some people definitely are. And for those people I’d suggest to learn some boundaries. 😂

[@amandalawrence5610]

It’s because it’s engraved in us at a young age about germs and stranger danger.

[@Ravyne]

As an ex-waitress, the biggest insult a customer can do to a bad waitress/waiter is to leave them a penny tip. Bad waitresses/waiters will get it right away.

[@arcferr4711]

Or a few bills with a penny

[@kelslo74]

To my recollection I have never stiffed waitstaff. Tips are important in the service industry. It's not easy and many patrons are very rude to their servers. God bless em.

[@romkin1197]

As an American, I refuse to tip as companies should be paying their waiters/waitresses appropriately.

[@GCDesigner_101]

@@romkin1197 Yeah but it's not the wait staff's fault, why punish them?

[@romkin1197]

@@GCDesigner_101 If everyone stopped tipping, employers will be forced to actually pay their customers properly. And this isn't getting into how people believe they are entitled to tips.

[@phillipmain6475]

The personal bubble thing is real, you mentioned about shoulder bumping someone. DO NOT do that here in America. That generally means you are looking for a fight. You risk getting seriously hurt.

[@ravinhud4979]

Unless it is like a packed concert or event, yes

[@ravinhud4979]

I haven't been to NYC, I imagine there too.

[@virginiaoflaherty2983]

I have never once seen a fight. If you bump into someone just saying, oh I'm sorry or excuse me is sufficient.

[@williamfranks1215]

People also bump into others to pick pockets. Or get a feel.

[@hunterlawrence3573]

Most likely the American would just pull away and tell you to knock it off before it escalated into a fight. In most cases, you'd have to seriously violate someone's boundaries for it to result in you getting hurt.

[@CatsCradle22]

From tip 5: yes we do feel super awkward when nobody acknowledges each other in small spaces like the elevator. However this differs depending where in the USA you are. For example, in the South or Midwest you can expect a full on conversation to happen. But in New England, it may be as little as a nod or smile.

[@megwenger8756]

New England too!

[@gradyanderson5651]

South also depends which state as well as urban, suburbs or rural. Males tend to nod their heads and just say a greeting such as good morning, good afternoon or good evening and nothing else (they do not usually want a conversation) but the women are a completely different story.

[@pippascode481]

Yup from New England here, we may smile at you or not acknowledge you at all. Other times there will be small talk. You just never know

[@miriamrobarts]

Where I live in California, it's fine either way. Some people ignore each other on the elevator, but most people will smile, say hi, nod, or at least give a quick glance at them. Some might comment on the weather if it is unusually hot, cold, stormy, etc. You don't often see any more conversation than that. Usually, people don't look at each other or talk after the quick greeting. If an approaching person has difficulties, such as trouble walking, a wheelchair, kids, etc., most people will hold the elevator door open for them. (But often not if the person coming down the hall looks young & healthy - especially if they're more than a few feet away. I guess people figure they're fine to wait for the next one, or they would have ran to catch it.) As someone who has trouble walking, it's touching to see the kindness of a stranger to help me out.

[@artisticly.Inclined]

For me I’ll just sit in the opposite end of the elevator, occasionally I’ll say “hi” if they make eye contact. There was that one time a guy tried to hit on me in an elevator, that was weird, cause not only am I lesbian, but I also can’t understand if someone flirting with me. He was just making me uncomfortable

[@GabrielG80]

I LOVE these video!!! Yea as far as the bubble thing. I HATE when people get close. If we’re talking and you get close I’ll keep backing up until I reach that appropriate space. Same with waiting in line. I don’t want to feel you breathing down my neck. Also, a lot of people will find it a sign of aggression if you bump into them. You better say sorry or acuse me or there may be a fight.

[@nataliet4293]

Walk at the same speed as everyone else. In big cities people walk fast, but some spaces have a slower walking speed. If you need to be slow get out of the way of faster people by pulling to the right or towards a wall. Don't be afraid of asking for directions if you get lost or your gps messes up around big buildings. You'll find most americans are very helpful, and at the root i think its that we value efficiency and kind of project ourselves onto someone who is struggling. People who don't work at stores will point you in the right direction to find things, people on the street will stop and help you if your purse spills, etc.

[@twinkie6532]

Sidewalks, hallways, escalators, we move to the 'slow lane' (right side) to allow faster movers to pass on the left just as we drive. Probably the opposite in countries that drive on the left.

[@Wacky_Whimsy]

People getting in my bubble is the ONE thing that freaks me out the most. And as for touching, if Im talking to someone and feel deeply towards what they are saying, I will say "are you a hugger? Im a hugger" and they will say yes or no - a lot of people don't like being touched by strangers and will freely tell you "no, I'm not a hugger". It's not derogatory towards you, it's just how they feel, and is genuinely respected.

[@iamastanchion3598]

Exactly, I’m not a hugger, so I greatly appreciate when people ask that. I just can’t stand physical contact with other people.

[@QuantumWaltz]

I know this is probably coming a long time after this comment was posted, but I had to chime in: I AM a hugger, usually. If I've gotten in deep enough with someone that they're asking if hugs are OK, hugs're probably OK. I have told one person ONCE that I wasn't a hugger, and it WAS meant as an insult and SHE knew it, which is all either of us needed from that exchange. (the person in question was awful and the person I was ACTUALLY there to see had been put through hell by her, so he was filled with glee by my sunny, oh-so-sugary-sweet Southern verbal slap. She looked like she'd swallowed an unripe lemon when I Uno Reverse'd her dominance display by converting an unsolicited hug into a handshake.)

[@h.s.6269]

Yea it's pretty common in the midwest to hug if greeting a new family member or friend of a family member. It depends on the person if they remember to ask first or not, but usually they will take a cue as they approach if they are receptive or not. The women here are often huggers towards non strangers (or soon to be family members).

[@Noneya2023]

American here with the best travel advice ever. Anywhere in America, if you are lost in the city, find the nearest pizza shop. They deliver all over the area & will give you landmarks to look for & know the names of all the roads & the quickest way to get there. If you’re lost on our highways, ask a semi truck driver at a gas station (petrol stop) & they will always help you get in the proper direction. Most times, if they are going in the same direction, they will have you follow behind them “just follow me!”

[@80acresandamule]

Great idea

[@pbradleyking]

A Belarusian friend was mortified when I asked a police officer for directions and a recommendation for food while walking in Baltimore. He also seemed shocked that I got both...

[@virginiaoflaherty2983]

This is a true story about nice semi drivers and kindness. I was hitch hiking home from SD, I got a virus and was very sick. This was in 1971. A nice young guy offered to help me get home. In Ohio we got a ride from a semi-driver. He let me lay down in the back of his cab while my friend and the driver talked all the way to Baltimore. The driver drove into town all the way to my house. Tipped his hat and went on his way. My chaperone friend went on his way the next morning. You would think a girl hitch-hiking alone would have been a disaster. All I met was kindness and friendliness the whole month. I started my bucket list early.

[@tonyamcvicar2796]

NOT anymore!!! Female trucker of 14 years. Plus ..now a days most of those truckers are totally ignorant of highways!!! Majority couldn't find their way out of a paper bag w/out gps!!

[@Noneya2023]

@@tonyamcvicar2796 😂🇺🇸

[@Kiki9092-d7o]

I'm American and last summer I visited a bunch of European countries. The differences about talking/not talking to strangers was one of the bigger cultural differences I noticed. In the USA, strangers are often quick to help you if you get a bit lost (as long as you keep a safe distance) and are genuinely happy to help. In Europe people just look at you like you’re crazy. They are more guarded. Europe is better in many ways and the US is better at other things.

[@DreamChaser023]

Just got back from visiting family in the UK, and instead of how we greet with, "hi, how are ypu", some family greeted with a, "are you alright?" Took me off gaurd at first since my first initial thought response was, "do I not look alright?". Lol

[@jewellhershey]

In some parts of the Appalachian region it is common to greet someone by saying, “Y’all right?”

[@captainmycaptain8334]

@@jewellhershey america is so large that the various regions all have different customs, some parts in the US some things are just fine while in others its like backhanding the person youre speaking to or something lol. Ive moved all around in my lifetime, gotta say now i just avoid small chitchat cause you never know whats gonna tick someone off or confuse them

[@jewellhershey]

@@captainmycaptain8334Aren’t you sort of preaching to the choir? I was born in the USA in the 1940s and have lived here all my life. I have family, friends, and acquaintances all over the country. I am well aware of regional customs, hence my comment.

[@captainmycaptain8334]

@@jewellhershey im just adding to the convo, this is a comment thread

[@srodriguez721]

😂

[@heidiweidmann2926]

In elevators specifically, we generally at least say "hello", whoever is closer to the buttons says "which floor?' "and presses your floor for you, and you just say "thanks". I like to be by the buttons so I can press them for people, its a novelty that never wore off for me, kids love to be the button pusher lol

[@jzoberek]

I'm a volunteer tutor to adults learning English as a 2nd language, and 9 years ago, I'd meet with one of my students at a multi-level library. When she arrived for our lesson one day, she was clearly frazzled and said, "Someone in the elevator talk to me!!" She was so anxiety-ridden, I was concerned that someone said something rude about her Middle Eastern nationality. "What did they say to you??" "Nice day isn't it." It was all I could do to keep from bursting into laughter. I live in the Midwest where we strike up conversations in line all the time, so I smiled and said, "Yeah, we do that." "WHY?? He don't know me!" Then I laughed a little and said, "So, what did you do?" "I just look---" and she put her hands on either side of her head like horse blinkers. Good thing she only had a 2-floor ride. LOL! I've tutored nearly 30 people, and it entertains me every time when they bring up random people speaking to them. I had a PhD researcher from South Korea ask me, "What is this...'dude'?" "What do you mean?" "Every day, in the hall, a man and I pass each other, and he says 'Hey, dude." "He's just saying hello. He recognizes you, but doesn't know your name. Guys say that to each other." "So...I can say 'hey dude' back?" "You'd just say 'hey.' If you speak first, then you can say 'Hey, dude.' It just sounds more natural than two 'Hey, dude/Hey, dude.' Or you can just say 'Hey' if you speak to him first, without the 'dude.'" "No, I want to say dude." 🙂

[@Trifler500]

I was on a freeway that was completely stopped from a semi accident blocking all of the lanes. After sitting there for about an hour, people started getting out of their cars and chatting with one another. :)

[@Autumn_Forest_]

I saw some of my fellow Americans one morning on a blocked freeway get out and start eating their lunches (they were on their way to work with lunch boxes) and even shared stuff with each other.

[@Trifler500]

@@Autumn_Forest_Sounds good, if you have lunches. :)

[@chere100]

Reminds me of a recent semi accident that had the road completely blocked. Lady got out to ask how long it would take, and then reported back to the other drivers including my mom. Thank god she did that, because it was going to take forever. My mom decided to just drive into another state, and take a round about way of getting home.

[@Jerseybytes2]

I do that too. last time was somewhere in Virginia. 2 hours later and I knew where everyone around me was going to and coming from.

[@erinbrennan1385]

Yep, if it is a long wait, we will get out and chat. We have nothing else to do, may as well!

[@hhistory9869]

Omg, “ big lips bro, disguslips, disgusting breff bro” you’re KILLING ME!!!!😂😂😂😂

[@sherrybrady3988]

In the Southern part of the US people are a little more open to being touched. We are big huggers so don’t be surprised, if after a somewhat lengthy conversation you get a loose hug or slap on the back. Our bubbles often merge! 🤣 Plus, we talk to almost anyone near us for long. It would be un-southern not to.

[@Shan_Dalamani]

Strangers who insist on handshaking or hugging are not endearing themselves to me. If you want to greet me, say "hi" or nod your head (or both). I only hug family, close friends, and my cat.

[@denisemadison1298]

Ooo, and the cheek kiss, usually by relatives. And if you hear "Bless her/his heart", they just got insulted. But we will go out of our way to help someone in need.

[@Breathe-In-and-Out]

I came here to say this. I'm a Texan, and I'm open to hugging a stranger, although I don't usually initiate one without an invitation. For business, handshakes only, but when meeting new friends, I'll hug. We're the Friendship state, so when traveling, it is hard for me not to meet people's eyes on the street and say hello or make small talk at grocery stores.

[@brandonhainstock2928]

yea no, were def politer and slightly more friendly but there is no hugging strangers. lots of polite smiling and hellos and maybe a wave or a handshake...no hugs unless i know u.

[@-Nickname-]

I'm southern and not a bit of that is true for me. Other than shaking hands, I do not touch people and they do not touch me. That includes friends and family.

[@angeliarossett5934]

I’m in Houston Texas. Here our waitstaff makes $2.13 an hour. Tips are all of their income. Most services like hairdressers, nail techs, cab drivers get a small cut of what’s charged. Again tips is the majority of their income.

[@простадівчина]

Sad but true. We are literally guilted into it bc the employers won't pay a living wage.

[@SoniaAlese]

Kinda crappy that's the one business where they get away with not having to pay workers a full wage like that while everyone else from other industries has to pay their employees full wages. They should just make it min wage across all states where workers aren't totally dependent on tips IMO

[@простадівчина]

I wonder how many replies were deleted inder this post. I know mine was.

[@RainingPouringSnoring]

​@@SoniaAlese Agreed. Even we Americans hate this system, for the most part.

[@angeliarossett5934]

@@RainingPouringSnoring I concur. It’s put most of our hospitality and service oriented jobs one bad night away from disaster.

[@Autumn_Forest_]

Also, if a child says hello to you, - even if a baby waves or smiles at you - you smile and talk nicely to the child and maybe ask him or her a question (like, “Hi! Are you enjoying the park today?”) even if the child is too small to answer.

[@TheWeaponx9]

No that’s predatory. Greet the parent then say hi to the child. Also black Americans & white Americans don’t have the same values & morals. Example: A white person is more likely to interject themselves into a conversation involving 2 people that person doesn’t know

[@tezscanlan6418]

Woh.... if that happens here (uk), you'll be watched closely by the parents. They might come to protect the child or even shout out to leave their child alone, especially in parks and places for children to play. In some cases, it's alright, but it's always best to see if the parent minds you talking to the child first as we try to teach stranger danger here and would be very cautious of others talking to the children. Smiles are ok, but walk on past. If a child is lost, upset or hurt, that's different and would be ok to comfort and help the child to find the parent or guardian.

[@latonyajefferson9699]

​@@tezscanlan6418 Our tendency to speak to small children/allow small children to speak to strangers while under supervision is our way of teaching socializing. This is where we learn how to be conversational and where we get our habits regarding personal space and (uniquely American) friendliness.

[@Wud-f2r]

@@tezscanlan6418in the US the parents will be watching carefully too, and the “bubble” thing applies even more with kids. Most parents won’t mind if you give a friendly word or two to their kids SO LONG AS YOU KEEP YOUR DISTANCE. If you get within touching distance the parents are likely to step in and want you to back off.

[@sherylkeib4993]

I might speak directly to a child if a parent was right there, but only smile at the child otherwise.

[@avril.227]

In the NW region of the States, we are definitely more reserved. Not a lot of small talk in the Pacific Northwest, but we are still polite and considerate.

[@RaeC5280]

True! No touchy, no talky (if not necessary) but we will smile!

[@RexFuturi]

A study once surveyed how people filled an elevator in different countries. Americans spread out to the corners and put as much space as they can between one another as the space fills. People from densely populated urban countries tend to congregate in the center even when the elevator is mostly empty.

[@katstorm13]

Ugh. My boyfriends elderly mom has terrible etiquette, in that you don't stand right in front of the door while waiting, in case there are people getting off on that floor.

[@littysavior9181]

As an autistic american, I have spent quite a while trying to learn social cues. In rural areas: If someone nods and waves from there car, smile and wave/nod back. [They are just implying "have a good day" or "hello"] They also may be more open to giving and recieving hugs or handshakes (even if you barely know them) In general: Personal bubble can be intruded depending on the context. We just dont like touch from strangers [From me]: Nodding is just fine. If you smile and nod, it will replace any painful small talk. (Also, imo, small talk is stupid. Why not have an interesting conversation instead and make a new friend?) And remember, the US is freaking huge. There are many cultural differences, and many places to explore. Even driving through the passover states can be interesting.

[@julieiven1396]

Passover states? I probably live in one. 😆

[@SkippertheBart]

​@@julieiven1396 The big square ones in the middle, where six feet of elevation gives ten extra miles visibility.

[@astyrblu9533]

I'm also autistic (born and raised in the south), and I love small talk. To me, small talk indicates a friendly conversation, but no real desire to get to know the other person beyond that. I especially lean on my small talk script whenever I just can't come up with actual conversation.

[@littysavior9181]

@@astyrblu9533 I can understand why. Small talk can be a comforting thing, but in my case, I find it quite boring because every response is the bare minimum. I like actually learning about people, but when they respond with "Fine." Or "Good." Instead of actually providing unique and situational information, I feel foreign and incredibly annoyed that Im not actually having a valuable conversation with someone. Nonetheless, Im glad you have a comfortable script for small talk that you can use. It is a notoriously difficult concept for autistic individuals to implement. So good job bud! ^^

[@M11969]

As a person who lives in one of the "pass over states" we really don't care for that term. It implies that we are unimportant and insignificant, which is very rude.

[@janetdepalma8683]

Elevator etiquette: reporting for work at the beginning of the day is a no talking zone, using the elevator in a department store, hospital, or hotel requires some small interaction. Never let the doors close on someone you can see rushing to make it.

[@michellelocke5408]

I talk to everyone in the elevator. It must just depend on where you are living

[@me-xo7lt]

As someone who was born in Nigeria, but grew up in the US, I still find it difficult to immediately open gifts in front of people because in my culture doing that makes it looks as if you only invited that person over because you knew they would bring you a gift. It’s more polite to open it later when they’re not there and send them a text of gratitude or say thank you the next time you see them because it shows that you appreciate not just their gift, but more importantly, you appreciate their presence

[@natemcdonald8853]

The personal bubble is critical in the U.S. ! Example : a lady in line in front of me at the grocery store, step backwards, and her purse brushed slightly up against me , she panicked and said :"sorry sorry sorry !" It's even more extreme now since COVID-19! 😮

[@lauraelizabethbrown]

You're still worried about covid in 2024?

[@natemcdonald8853]

@@lauraelizabethbrown No , not at all. I was just observing that it (COVID ) has created this new dynamic ; of people being more concerned over personal space .

[@odinaconley1186]

I'm always concerned about personal space. Partly because of things like COVID and my personal health situation.... But that also includes any flus or bugs that are going around especially during cold and flu season. However my main reason for wanting to enforce my own personal space has nothing to do with worrying about getting sick and everything to do about triggering PTSD issues when someone gets too close to me in an aggressive way.

[@odinaconley1186]

​@@lauraelizabethbrownhonestly everyone should still be worried about it because it's not going away and instead is becoming a regular thing just like the Spanish flu from 1918 is the progenitor of the flu viruses that we deal with today. That is what is going to happen and is happening with COVID so it should be a concern at least as far as things like the flu are especially during cold and flu season. Also it should be a concern because there are people that have to go out into the public that have medical conditions that make them more susceptible to viruses. This is an example of why I tend to most often wear a mask when I go someplace where I'm going to be inside around a bunch of people like at a grocery store. No most people right now are not wearing masks because of COVID but those that are should not be getting knocked for it.

[@odinaconley1186]

More than likely that person has either experienced the loss of someone due to the recent COVID pandemic or has been verbally or physically accosted because of bumping into someone and then reacting like a full-on appendix, I don't like using the term Karen's because I happen to know at least one Karen that is completely wonderful but she gets all the bad jokes because she was born with the name therefore they are appendixes, and have just gotten in the habit of quickly apologizing in order to avoid having that happen to them again.

[@cjpietropinto9293]

Small talk in the US used to be a survival trick. Not to be long winded, but back in the old west days of frontier towns, when strangers came and went. Sometimes dangerous strangers. Small talk was an easy way to figure out who you could trust, and who was a con person. Many in middle America have kept this as our culture. Bigger cities don't have this same connection.

[@Carmen698]

That makes sense because you can usually tell in three seconds if someone isn't quite right.

[@lmoughterson6702]

When I was a kid, it was a sign of respect to call your boss, teacher, etc by Mister/Misses/Miz/Miss and their last name. It has changed since then. You can call someone by their first name, if given permission. When my grandmother was younger, You would call someone by Mister/Master/Misses/Miss. Addressing people has changed over the generations.

[@Kim-hu9br]

I still prefer Miss, and find it rude especially with organizations if they try first name familiarity with me.

[@kaidevaleria2531]

It depends I think. Some people’s parents want to be called ma’am and sir but if I’d called my parents that they would’ve been like “…what are you doing?”

[@laurenshine9889]

Usually kids call adults: Ms. Janet or Mr. Jim if they know them personally like a family friend or neighbor. Adults speaking to one another call each other by their first names mainly because we are very serious that there are no higher or lower classes here. Exceptions happen when their is a title: Mr./Ms./Professor Jones for teachers, doctors -Dr. Jones, military members serving together Sergeant or Captain Jones (unless they've nicknamed you - Americans looooove nicknames. It means they like you if it's not a super offensive name.)

[@candellina6]

I always addressed my seniors as Mr./ Miss/Mrs. "first name". It's a perfect blend of respectful recognition and not making them feel old or distant from you.

[@paula_vous]

Master is wild 😬

[@SB-hc2lz]

Having moved to the US from Europe over a decade ago, one of the biggest culture shocks for me was the different reception to sarcasm. Back home, sarcasm is often seen as the pinnacle of humor, but I quickly learned that it doesn’t always land the same way here. Many Americans might find it off-putting or even rude. I remember a coworker who lived in the UK for a year and still thinks of Brits as some of the rudest people because of their sarcastic humor. I personally find British humor to be among the funniest in Europe, but I’ve learned to tone down the sarcasm when I’m in the US to avoid any misunderstanding or angry looks. It’s fascinating how humor translates across cultures!

[@Pangaea83]

The casualness is something that became really apparent visiting my husband’s family in Morocco. I would stroll into a room, walk over and make small talk with whoever I made eye contact with- that did not go over well there. My MIL grabbed me by the elbow and made me greet each person even 20 people in the room one by one kiss for women and good morning, handshake for men. Americans don’t have a prescribed saying or greeting for each time of day or if there is a huge number of people. We are direct and “ go with the flow”

[@The_Grimsun]

We nod in the US and there's definitely those elevator rides where no one talks. But its less common, more often someone will say something.

[@Mutexop]

yeah the only instance i can really think of talking in the elevator is asking for the other person to hit a floor for me or something, not much small talk

[@weeveferrelaine6973]

Yo, hot tits demon dude, keep it real

[@teresabillings8378]

I went to a conference in Dallas. Being a Texan myself, when I walked past someone at the hotel I'd say good morning or howdy and you could tell a person wasn't a native because they'd stare straight ahead and scurry past as if they were about to be robbed.

[@annasofiaVttle]

Aww! How can they think the Texan charm is like that? It’s wonderful!

[@amcdown9528]

😂

[@unclisa]

Tipping in restaurants that are not fast food establishments is considered necessary because many states allow them to pay waitstaff a reduced minimum wage. In NC, the minimum wage for waitstaff is $2.13 and hour because the waitstaff is expected to be paid an actual living wage through tips.

[@RoseNZieg]

I usually knows when to leave my shoes at the door. there are usually shoes at the door.

[@squiggleworks9]

For the small talk thing, you’d be right at home in big cities, like NYC. The smile thing is true though. It’s warmed my day when a random stranger just smiles at me for no discernible reason

[@SGalli-ff6nf]

I am a West Coast American and I LOVE talking with strangers! I often exchange a few words with someone I meet at a store or on a hiking trail. The reason I like this type of communication is that it gives me hope in the human race...because almost 100% of these conversation are positive and uplifting...sometimes HILARIOUS! I met a woman who was walking a dog and I wanted to say that the dog had beautiful and elegant lines...I didn't know how to say it and felt slightly awkward as I stuttered a few words...but the dog-owner saved the day, "She's got a great body!" she called when she saw I was struggling for words. We both laughed out loud. It was a lovely moment.

[@XXLady]

Ditto! Chatting with strangers can be fun. We're all human, why not relate to each other?

[@jeremypearson9019]

I'm an American. I just want to clarify a couple things: 1. If you're visiting the USA from another country and you don't feel like have a conversation with a stranger, that's okay. No one will be offended if you want to keep to yourself 2. You should tip in restaurants with table service (they take your order from your table, bring it to you, and refill your water throughout the meal), but not with fast food 3. I keep my shoes on in my house because i like to protect my toes from being stepped on or having things dropped on them. Also, we go in and out of our houses a lot to run errands, work in our yards, exercize, visit friends, go to school or work, etc. and it often feels best to just keep our shoes on all day instead of taking them off and on again over and over. If the house is carpeted, a lot of people take their shoes off, but if it's wood floors or tile then we keep our shoes on.

[@tkgsingsct]

Here in the states I think the small talk thing is also a way to demonstrate to strangers that you're not a threat, and also to ascertain if THEY are or not. People conceal-carry guns here.

[@SC-gp7kt]

100%

[@dianajemison105]

I smiled, and said hi, as I walked past a guy in an apartment complex I used to live in. As I walked past him he mumbled. I turned around, and he said, "don't think I don't have a gun". The next think I knew, he yanked the necklaces right off my neck, and ripped my purse off of my shoulder, and ran away. Now, I'm not as friendly to strangers.

[@sonnysmom6017]

@@dianajemison105 Depends upon where you live. This is not typical everywhere

[@dianajemison105]

@@sonnysmom6017 It doesn't have to be typical. It can happen anywhere. There are shitty people everywhere.

[@genericface]

This one is big. There's a kind of belief that a quiet person is a dangerous person. Even if all you do is say hi, and they smile for half a second and say hi back, that's the way to know that you've recognized each other and respect one another. The "UK head nod" that was mentioned is also common, or a quick wave.

[@rroadmap]

Well I think it depends on what part of the country you're in. I moved to California from the South and spoke to someone in the elevator and asked how he was doing today. The man looked at me like I was crazy! So I made him think I was really crazy when I then said "Oh good. I'm doing pretty well myself." 😂 He backed up against the wall and held on for dear life! 😂

[@dolphingirl3698]

It's defintely less common in big cities and on the coasts, especially the east coast. Trying chit-chat in New York or Boston won't work well at all.

[@danishson97]

​@@dolphingirl3698 i think it's also how you do it. Asking someone how they are normally implies that you are aware of WHO they are. I think sometimes it's much more comfortable to make an observation, maybe about the elevator or something odd in the facility. Sometimes just both people noticing something and mentioning it first brings about small talk. Asking how someone is when you don't know them and they're strangers can feel really weird. But this comment made me laugh my head off!

[@Nuadin]

In a big city but in Texas so maybe it's different. We don't normally engage in small talk in the elevator but do in other places. I think because in the elevator, people are stuck there with you privately before they get off. Sometimes people will talk or make a joke, but it's less common. Normally, if you are in an elevator and someone else enters: you smile, nod, or say good day, though. If you're in a hotel, it's common to engage in conversation unless it's late in the evening. People on vacation tend to want to talk more and sometimes find out cool places to visit by striking a conversation. There's like all these weird nuances.

[@rroadmap]

@@Nuadin I too live in a large city in Texas. This incident happened over 35 years ago. My home city is no longer the same as it was then. At that time, people were very friendly with strangers and even our drivers were courteous. But too many people migrated from Northern cities and California too quickly, along with immigrants from around the world. Unfortunately, too much migration and immigration too fast, without allowing time for the newcomers to assimilate, changes a culture--not necessarily for the best. Rather than adjusting to the Southern way, they brought their dog-eat-dog attitudes with them.

[@michelle8033]

To be honest, California is its own thing. I think they’re just strange in general.

[@mirandarobinson6005]

I'm from CA and went on a trip to NY City. I smiled at people in the crosswalk, as I do in CA, and this lady shouted, "what are you looking at!" Then I shouted, "Duuuuude" which meant, I'm just happy, get over yourself. Then the person walking next to me in the crosswalk asked if I was from CA. We had a quick chat at the corner and parted ways. It was a quick exchange but a fond memory of my NY experience and kind of typical of the US. Talking to strangers is fun if not interesting.

[@susanma4899]

Even the lady shouting is kinda funny, New Yorkers gonna be salty, that's fine.

[@Pstrawberry-t7s]

That’s funny, but still rude. I suppose that’s sometimes expected by New Yorkers. If somewhere else, other than NYC, then they are just crazy or have mental problems.

[@dinarlove4245]

Also from California. I had a neighbor who was originally from NY, and she warned me not to make eye contact or be friendly and talk with people I didn't know while in NY, especially when walking on the street or in a store. I forgot her warning, and it became clear there was a reason. A guy looked me right in the eye, and I smiled and said hi, not thinking of it, and he turned around and started following me trying to talk to me. It wasn't friendly as much as it was creepy. I went into a store, and the guy kept trying to talk to me and was following me all over, so I said, "Hey, I need to ask the cashier something. I'll be right back." I approached the employee at the checkout desk and asked if he could help me. He unlocked a side door and told me he would distract the guy and that I could duck out. He even told me the fastest way to disappear from that street to a busier street on the way back to my hotel so the guy wouldn't find me. It was a really creepy experience, and I was so grateful to the store clerk for his help.

[@randallsmerna384]

In a suburb of Rome called Finocchio, I wasn't sure where I was and I went around in the early evening to a bunch of guys outside a bar saying "Finocchio?" and pointing downwards! 😂😂😂 They were at first taken aback but then they warmed up When they took time to figure out I was a foreigner and when they heard I wanted to go to "Instituto Biiblio" and took me right to where I wanted to go in their car! Wasn't until later when I found out what finocchio meant. 😂😂😂

[@miguelyt8015]

The tip thing in the US isn’t even about being polite or thanking the server. Waitstaff in the US are notoriously underpaid because restaurant owners know they can make their workers rely on tips. In certain states, waitstaff don’t even have to receive minimum wage because they’re receiving extra pay in the form of tips.

[@juanavargas7562]

Exactly. A few years ago I used to work at Denny's, I was a server. My wage was $2, all because my tips were part of the wage. But sometimes I wouldn't make a lot in tips. Sometimes I wouldn't get any on certain days.

[@amandah.5712]

In VA, they are all required to be paid the States minimum wage. I'm done tipping, unless they are absolutely the best server ever!

[@Bascha1978]

The US believes it is okay to underpay waitstaff. (Also kids working before they turn 18 are paid less than min wage in some states & do not get tips) All states should require min wage for waitstaff, so that they do not have to rely on tips.

[@stephaniehight2771]

Just wanted to add my agreement to this point. I strongly oppose America's tipping culture. All polite Americans learn eventually that your tips are what your servers use to live. It is simply unfair to everyone except the underpaying management of the restaurant. Of course, this is directly why most servers in the USA are friendly... They live off tips! There are even several service jobs here are TOTALLY tips. It's wrong! On a different note, expect servers (mostly female) in the southern US to call you honey, love, dear etc. It's A southern thing.

[@flagbabygirl]

Yup when I got a job at 16 at Dennys I was paid $2.25 an hour plus tips. While training I got $7.25 an hour , then you could get a .25 raise a YEAR!!! I had another server job about 14 years ago at an Arizona Casino and was paid $5.25 an hour plus tips. And the casino makes you count your tips at the cash cage at night and enter it into the computer so you cannot fudge how much you made. It sucked because there was times I didn’t even make my allocated tips and the computer adjusted my tips higher than they were and made me pay taxes on money I didn’t make.

[@engmed4400]

Regarding #3: My wife and I make a regular habit of stacking plates, glasses, flat ware, etc. when we eat out. The reason we do so is that we've both worked food service in the past, and know what it's like to deal with people who leave a huge mess at their table. We're passing this on to our children, teaching them that it's rude to leave a big mess. While we don't fully clean the table, we try to ensure that our server has the minimum amount of work to do, so they can have the table cleaned and ready for the next customer efficiently.

[@christa3224]

That’s interesting. I’ve heard wait staff say they don’t like it when customers stack the dishes because different servers have different ways they like to carry them. So stacking them might cause them more inconvenience. I agree though about tidying up the table. I think it’s embarrassing to leave food and drink spills behind.

[@AerCloud]

​@@christa3224i personally don't like when customers stack the plates Now there's sauces or ketchup on the bottom of the plates

[@virgilicianame5808]

1) There is a condiment exception. In Texas and perhaps other places in the South, if someone grills for you - especially steak or a marinated meat - DONT ask for any sauce that the host doesn’t have out/visible. There is a 50/50 chance the host will consider it not only an insult to their cooking but to the meat itself- the very cow that it came from. If they make a joke about it, you’re safe. They are messing with you. If they are cheerful, you you’re okay. But if they don’t have a cheerful tone, start backtracking. Good luck out there!

[@twatts1523]

I would say that’s proper etiquette anywhere, unless you are so familiar with them, you can grab it yourself out of their kitchen.

[@soulblazer4919]

I will say it directly. If you use A1 on a steak, your palate is awful or the steak is. One of you is an insult. Don't do it.

[@Deftonesx84]

Texan my whole life and everyone I know asks for a condiment if they want a damn condiment. I've never seen somebody get offended if asked for steak sauce. The only exception I can think of would be a really good barbecue place that doesn't provide sauce for a reason… Because the barbecue is really good.

[@susanstetson3435]

I had a friend over for dinner, we had filet mignon and my friend asked for ketchup. We were in high school and I thought my parents were going to lose it lol.

[@pbradleyking]

When a waitress asks if I want steak sauce, I reply, "Oh, I hope not!"

[@delphinidin]

Oh! Something to know for Brits coming to the US: I was at a wedding reception once with a friend from England, and she kept turning to me and saying, "Are you alright?" I was told later that this is just how Brits say "what's up", but in the US, we only really use that phrase if we think something's wrong: like someone's hurt or looks upset. I got really annoyed that she kept asking me that!! lol

[@sherilumley5498]

With gifts, I will often ask the person who gave me the gift "Shall I open it now?" It saves me in different cultural settings.

[@pharuhs]

I like that! As an american, I've always hated the whole "open the gift in front of people" rule, it's so stressful for the giftee. Like I'm always required to perform for the gifter even if I don't like the gift. My circle of friends have adopted an "open the present when you feel like" rule because all feel similar ways (or just want to open the gift at a safe location/easy to store or put away place like home if out an about.) I'd say that ultimately it'd be good to ask, I like that.

[@tonette11000]

Or, if I receive a gift with no warning, and I'm the only person in the room getting a gift, I might not want to open it on the spot because I'm embarrassed no one else has a gift. This wouldn't apply, of course, if it's a birthday party, I guess.

[@johnloftus]

Asians will not open the gift in front of you. They will always open it at home. Don't be offended. It's just polite in Asia.

[@tonygroves5526]

My friend loves gifts and giving them! In her family, you always open the gift in front of the giver. I come from a family who waits to open. I open presents in front of her and she gets that I find it awkward, but she loves it.

[@lolunicornsaj8907]

That's interesting. I usually tear into the gift as soon as possible because the more excited you are the more polite. If you asked me I would have said "Of course! Obviously!" Americans will often ask you to wear what they gave you or use the gift in front of us because we want to see it happen

[@alisummers7984]

I was in Walgreens today- I think I talked to 3 different strangers- and the cashier- as she was ringing me up I said “ so- I bet it was a madhouse today right? “ (The day before Easter rush) she said oh yea! I said I bet you LOVE these kind of days huh? lol she laughed .. and then she said to me- and can you Believe this warm sunny weather we are having today?? I said oh yea - I thought it was going to be cool and chilly- and now I’m hot AF in my jeans and long sleeve shirt ! And I paid , got my bags and left and we both wished each other a happy Easter - So yea- we talk to anyone Lewis .. but tbh- I like it.. it’s nice seeing ppl smile .. I’ll often try as much as I can remember to compliment a stranger - I’ll say “ I love your hairstyle! Looks great! “- or I’ll say “ omg you have the prettiest eyes! - or “ I love that coat your wearing! “- people always smile.. and it’s nice to see ppl smile 😊

[@sadiegossett9141]

Lmao is the touching while talking for me. You “a touch might happen” 😂😂 I will look at where you’re touching me and be like why are you touching me 😂😂

[@lightningdashproductions8824]

easy rule of thumb thing about the shoes, if you go inside and see a designated shoe spot somewhere, typically next to the door you entered through, it's likely a no shoe place, unless you only plan to stay a couple minutes inside and don't tread on the main carpeting. otherwise just ask if your unsure, never hurts.

[@Hart-Strings]

Other counties don’t realize that servers in sit down restaurants only get paid $2.13/hr. So they literally depend and live off of tips. We were dining with a couple visiting from Australia and when we tipped after the meal, she mentioned it. When I explained the situation she felt awful because they’d been traveled for a week and hadn’t tipped once.

[@Whole_Gyunyu]

Depends on where you live as most states now require servers to be paid minimum wage

[@mamacypress]

@@Whole_GyunyuA quick google search will disagree. Currently only 7 states require minimum wage for servers

[@ll2323]

@@Whole_Gyunyunot in America.

[@ll2323]

This is one of my biggest pet peeves when people come to America and don’t tip, but give u compliment tips. Like that don’t pay the bills. I would absolutely learn the etiquette’s of any other country/cultures I visited.

[@KittycatMisumii]

@@Whole_Gyunyu They're required to be paid minimum wage, "If their tips don't add up to minimum wage or more." In Georgia, the state min wage is $5.15 (less than federal min). My husband worked a job that he had to argue to make his base wage ($2.50/hr) not the state min, and they'd question why he didn't make more in tips as if it was his fault that his coworkers were pushing the dishes onto him. They didn't even want to pay him the $2.50/hr and said he should have made his whole wage with tips. Needless to say he quit after a month (I'd have told him to quit sooner if I'd known)

[@rwilson7197]

I agree with you! The best part of the gift giving is enjoying watching them open your gift. Their eyes light up and love your gift. I'd hate to miss out on that!❤

[@RichDenman]

If the waiter was nice, but the establishment is garbage, tipping is a way of saying that you see quality in your waiter that the food may not reflect; or if they seem genuinely sorry for bad service. It's weird, we're weird.

[@vladyvhv9579]

Yeah. Combo of service and attitude. Pay attention to see if the wait staff is particularly busy, like if there's not enough waiters to provide better service. Don't dock tips for service in that situation, but rather add some extra if they've got a decent personality. The wait staff is usually not the ones preparing the food, just the ones who bring it to you. If you've got problems with the food, take that up with the restaurant itself.

[@virginiaoflaherty2983]

I always think the server is not responsible for the quality of the food. You can always ask to speak to the manager and complain about the quality or preparation of the food.

[@thesupervideogamenerdmore3171]

Yes. Bad food doesn't always equal bad waiter. Sure, sometimes waiters suck, but most of the time, they are nice. As a waiter myself (love my job), I want to make sure everyone is happy, even in situations out of my control. Also, as a waiter, prepare to have someone talk to you. Where I work, you can build what I call customer friends (customers that love being with you), and I've had moments where they full on talk about something and I jump in, and we have fun for a few minutes.

[@icanseenowherefromhere8995]

This is one of the main reason I still carry cash. If I think the server deserves a tip but everything else was trash, the last thing I want to do is just add a x% tip to the bill on my credit card. There's no way to insure that the tip gets to the server and not put into a pool for the whole staff, many that I may think should be fired. If I put a few bills directly into the server hand, telling them they're worth it, it's on them where that money goes.

[@LynnS-xn8xf]

Ah! Good practice I think I’ll adopt, thanks.

[@maryohare4141]

I lived most my life in very open land, big farms...nearest neighbor 10 miles away. So, when I get into cities, I INWARDLY FREAK if strangers are standing only a few inches from me. In country, we talk to strangers in grocery store, Ma-Pa restaurant, etc. BUT IN CITY...YOU ignore others, walk briskly and make sure nobody is stalking you!