BTT #93 - The 5 Love Languages - Should Men Follow Them? w/

[@EntrepreneursInCars]

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[@adriani1536]

@Rich, my ex sent me a text message after I broke up and brought up the languages of love...we didn't match anymore?!? after 5 years because she realised we have different languages(probably the book was recommended by her therapist). In fact, she didn't know she was in her epihpany phase and was looking for a sponsor. One year after, I am happier and stronger than ever. Best choice I've made.

[@unclebuckshot8996]

I'm having trouble balancing work life. A lot of trouble. I work 10 hour days that go well into the early a.m. but make decent money. I'm 27, I own a home and the maintenance keeps me busy in my off hours and days. Dating for the last 5 years has shown me there are really only about 10 kinds of women. Im sick of meeting low value women, or women with unrealistic expectations and standards. I don't have the time to give them the attention they demand, but my career path is part of my pursuit of bettering myself. Stuck in a rut, where to go from here.

[@JonMcGill]

I had a life coach who read this book with his ex-girlfriend, and as I recall, they both took the quiz and ended up having the exact same love languages - quality time and touch. When they broke up and she shacked up with a new guy, surprise surprise, her love languages changed to acts of service and words of appreciation - those of the new dude. In other words, only a sucker would believe what a woman tells you with her words. My lesson from this, never read self help books or debate philosophy with women who you want to have sex with.

[@BradSabako]

Great story! Men, beware of this crappy book!

[@JonMcGill]

@@BradSabako the book isn't crappy, it's certainly worth reading. I just think you have to be very cautious about believing people and their stated motivations.

[@armyparrot9353]

Totally agree. It's all about desire. I could see where the book is coming from where some people seem to have certain preferences. But these are situational and depending on stimulation. I've see women say I hate camping and like distance. To doing the total opposite with another person. It's all about whether she is really into you.

[@abbasouldyounes4329]

Love language is money, I read that book it ended in a divorce...🤣🤣

[@theconversation.]

🙊🙉🙈🤣

[@greggunia8193]

My ex wife pretty much subscribed to this crap as well

[@LateNightRewrites]

Money indeed, money into her lawyer's pocket

[@KevinSmith-cg8mq]

Same story wasted time chasing bs from books and counselors only to give her time to try and put me through the divorce machine. Luckily I didn't get the answer that satisfied me and led me to your stuff. Thanks for all your content and the red pill lifestyle. Happiest I have ever been.

[@hoju9575]

Stupid me thought originally this was about Spanish, Portuguese, French, Italian and Romanian.😂

[@corichang]

😂😂No way, man! That was genius! Funny as heck

[@d.tayloredmond2932]

Rich this is one of the best videos in my opinion and I’ve been watching doing the work. and learning from your content for years…

[@4570Govt]

K, as a young man (32) who had read the 5LL first around 4yrs ago, have identified that mine are physical touch (primary) and words of affirmation(secondary), I can understand the “pseudoscience” angle and skepticism. The love languages are more about how you receive love, and thusly, how your partner can more effectively love you in a way you really receive it. Hence, love “languages”. I’m living an alpha lifestyle now, focused on creating my ideal life, but having come from a blue pilled background/upbringing, I try and recommend that men read this book so they better understand themselves. Just like Rich says “men are success objects, women are beauty objects”, a man can still chase excellence but if he really needs a woman to give him physical intimacy to feel her love, then he should seek that. She should be more than happy to love him in the way he receives it best, because she wants the best for him, and to support him in being the best he can be: an alpha. A leader. In turn, if she receives love in a particular way(day acts of service), him simply doing things that need to be done could get her panties wet. This isn’t “transactional”(IMO), it’s simply adapting. For me, I know I’ll need to find a woman with similar love languages to mine. But I don’t let this lead my way of thinking, it’s simply an added step of getting to know that person better.

[@Mile2112]

So much this 👍

[@neuvation6607]

She has to be doing more for him in terms of service regardless of her love language being “receiving service” to truly view his as a strong leader because once he starts doing those acts of service more than she is doing them for him she will lose attraction. Guys doing things for a girl doesnt get their panties wet, its when she is expected to do things for him that makes her truly wet. You got it flipped m8!

[@mylor1066]

Well said.

[@eliezra6098]

59:55 Paul's explanation is the best summary of red pill relationship theory I've seen anywhere.

[@Trisha_B_done]

Thanks for wasting a few minutes of your time taking the quiz...or beginning it. I've had other ppl ask me what my love language but I'd never even looked at the book. How annoying. But yes, he was right, any and all of the things would be wonderful from the man I desire. I appreciate these conversations. It encourages to know men are working together to be better men. It is also encouraging me to not waste my F's....I am working on becoming a better me while blocking all the drama and neediness of other wonen in my familiar circle. Im Worth the energy it takes to become my best.

[@tymeksamol8943]

In only 17 but this channel helped me so much I used to use a lot of self deprecating jokes and i thought why this girl stopped respecting me after it

[@mikebutkus]

Rich and Paul, I can't thank you both enough. Opened my eyes to why my wife says she wants to desire me but doesn't. Likely never had the edge and simply checked off her boxes.

[@carlhoppe]

I did this 5 languages of love with my ex wife in couples therapy and it was literally designed for woman and a complete waste of time.

[@skdewolf7606]

Interesting I found the terrible book not to be geared toward women, but to Narcissists. Regardless of sex.

[@corichang]

A relationship therapist said this which i think makes a lot of sense. He doesn't counsel unmarried couples because he believes that it's clearly says that your relationship is fraught with problems and most likely is not meant to be. It's only for people who have a stake to loose and must make their marriage work. I agree 5 love languages are not gonna cut it if you already accumulated too much angst with each other. The most important thing is to find the right person to start with and maybe go on marriage counseling like a check up thing once a year kinda. Knowing the love languages helps to enhance the relationship if that suits the couple.

[@h2orainwater39]

It's more meaningful when she don't use you for all your worth and cheat on you with someone they work with and discard you .narcissistic relationship.

[@mayorofthenonsense]

This is basically the same as Jordan Peterson’s abominable relationship advice - negotiate to have your needs met on a transactional basis. I tried it once to save a failing relationship and it had the opposite effect. She recognised it for what it was, handed me the rope, and then watched in disgust as I proceeded to hang myself. I will never forget the look on her face as the last few drops of respect and attraction toward me drained from her body.

[@travis6694]

That is a downside, a lot of the time when you do stand your ground. They leave and don’t even bother to think about putting in the work.

[@joshspiker]

Once you realize they are transactional by nature, you'll never consider getting married or entering into an LTR again.

[@justinc2625]

Men should not get into LTR, stop thinking about the Goal , our goal should be making ourselves the best , date casually and freely.

[@travis6694]

@@justinc2625 dating casually and freely also gives you best option for a women to trust you, they hate being controlled by a needy mamas boy.

[@bravefastrabbit770]

​@@Bob-nc4zb Cmon, unnecessary comment. Mayor, as someone who's gone through Maps of Meaning & the personality lectures many times over + read 12 rules. Jordan touches the subject from a very theoretical viewpoint utilizing all levels of analysis in order to reach a conclusion. I respect his take on philosophical matters, but when it comes to relationships. He has been out of the marketplace for a very long time. The answers he's derived all stem from work as a clinical psychologist, a field he is a professional in. Even the slightest negotiation in everyday life, he will know how to calibrate his emotions & what words to use in a certain tonality to get the expected outcome. To him, this comes naturally from acquired knowledge & intuition. He doesn't even have to think about it, let alone explain it in depth through a momentary brainstorm during a lecture. Look up the best salespeople here on ZionTube, much of what they say could perhaps work. But without a proper understanding of communication as a whole, applying a simple method wont work as a secret formula. While the two dudes in the vid above, teach you a MINDSET. A completely different way of thinking, for you to discover this all on your own instinctively by way of practice. It basically sums up YEARS of trail & error from guys of all origins, and compiles it into a framework of thought. Each an expert in their own field. Sure neither Paul or Rich have paid for a PhD, but fuck I'd rather take their advice than from someone who married their HS sweetheart & lived (mostly) happily ever after... Our social milieu has changed so drastically in the past 50 odd years, the circumstances are way different. Sitting in your comfy home looking at the weather report surely doesn't fucking work, -10/-20 you won't know the difference until you actually go out and feel for yourself, & todays dating climate isn't what it once was.

[@greggunia8193]

It’s all about short term betatization through transactional affection - the warning off of transactional affection and sex to find true desire in its place is the most important ongoing theme from Richard - if more guys would listen to this and not settle for transactional relationships it could change the sway of things entirely

[@kingnick6260]

This "foam cannon party" analogy that I'd 1st heard from Rollo over 10 years ago will forever stick with me 😆

[@coreybrown4192]

At this stage they must be half semen half foam parties by now .... lol

[@coreybrown4192]

And that’s really cool you’ve been following Rollo for 10 years .... the mans a true gentleman and genius ...

[@chesokabe2535]

You should have been there, man. It was epic

[@coreybrown4192]

@@chesokabe2535 lmao

[@renzodejesus1161]

Me too!!

[@RocnRolla2]

The advice for Jack helped me rationalize things in my LTR. Thank you both!

[@paulpopescu2757]

1:04:27 "We have a saying on the teams and special forces [..] always look cool". Quite motivational.

[@mayorofthenonsense]

I actually think a lot of women unconsciously use this kind of new age relationship building stuff as a soft form of beta-screening. Any guy who would invest significant time and energy into something like this is signalling his preoccupation with commitment, which is a trait of females and males without options. They want you to be into it because it gives them comfort, so they can earmark you as having long term provider-potential, but it will not increase their level of genuine desire. In my experience, shrugging your shoulders and expressing your indifference towards their touchy-feely relationship building projects actually spikes their attraction even further. Number one, they love a challenge and your indifference gives them something to fight for. Number two, they don't actually care whether you share their vague, solipsistic 'beliefs'. All that matters is genuine desire, which comes from the tension and polarity you create as a masculine man.

[@ghostbond1074]

The point of the narrative is for women to control men and I think it's a power thing - they say "xyz beta" thing to you - if you respond by deferring then you're "below" them which makes you unattractive. It's weird to watch when girls think I'm cool, then some doubt happens, and they start rambling on this like clockwork. There was a theme in the 70's about some big female tennis star - she makes a big point of beating men (at tennis), this guy comes along and beats her, and she marries him.

[@davidr1620]

This is absolutely correct. I remember years ago thinking about my love language, but it had absolutely everything to do with what I needed at the time or who I was with and what I wanted more from them. Now that I'm married and the dynamic of my life and relationship completely changed, not just after marriage, but relative to the woman I'm with, my "love languages" changed.

[@jacktiller2809]

Her: what’s your favorite love language? Me: Blow Js Her: that’s not a love language Me: fine, blow Js fall under Quality time, physical touch and acts of service, so those 3 Her: eye roll I got the blow j

[@CR67]

This is hilarious. At the thought of "love languages," receiving blowjobs was the first thing I thought of.

[@rpcp5v18]

Loved no “science” to back up the love languages. Love languages idea is yet another buffer women use to rationalize attraction to a beta.

[@ChristopherAlexander22]

I never gave Paul a chance, but very impressed with this cast. New sub to Paul’s channel.

[@davegriffin9083]

This was so awesome, I did the love language nonsense among a lot of other "Christian" beta crap. You get this cool high from the new information it provides but in the end it just falls apart. Rich Cooper explains why.

[@mayorofthenonsense]

Who needs love languages to define their needs? Men want sex, food, and pleasant, submissive behaviour. Women who value and desire their men will provide those things without being asked. To me, gifts and favours are a definite plus, but they mean nothing unless they are spontaneous and unsolicited. If a woman is incapable of giving those things, then she is useless, and if a man is unhappy receiving those things, then he probably needs to work on himself.

[@TomNook.]

Food? An independent guy makes his own food.

[@arthasmenethil7427]

I don’t get why guys can’t understand the concept of not being able to negotiate desire. You can’t manufacture desire outside of being inherently desirable yourself, it can’t be done. I have a friend who has been talking to a Filipina for 2 years and his rationale is “they are just different over there”. I’ve seriously considered dropping him because he refuses to understand that women all around the world have the same desires. These women already know you’re low value if you’re reaching out to them for a relationship. Citizenship = see ya later.

[@CR67]

Family honor is important to many Philippino women, but others not. I had a coworker with a Philippino wife that popped out a kid then kicked him out of his own house.

[@robcedar960]

First time I heard of these languages was a guy asking his fiance to read the book. Actually broke up her bc she didnt..Brought me to the conclusion that there are ppl who's lives are directed by text. There are definately good rules and logic of a relationship. Cognizance of toxicity. Non clinginess. Belief in yourself and continued development of personality growth. Independence. And most of all dont blame yourself for personality conflicts if the partner is not willing to compromise.

[@fuzzbang]

You guys were hilarious with Becky and Juan 😂

[@TheProphetJoshua]

The bit at 20:00 believing everything authority figures tell you because it "sounds good" but is dead wrong applies to everything. Science, history, etc.

[@skate3450]

If you’re using the love languages to get sex and your partners validation then you’re wasting your time. Use them to improve your relationship because you want a better relationship and you love the other person. Have your boundaries and keep improving yourself. This is what I learned after reading the love languages and the rational male.

[@dovieweinstock9424]

this is what everyone here is missing

[@animal79thecat]

"Pablo and Juan" love it!

[@DanielEarl]

I was always skeptical of the languages when I was beta, now I know it's crap.

[@bmxrgc]

You guys are awesome! New to the RP community! On chapter 3 of you book! How do I become a part of your KZbin community! Thanks Richard and Paul! Keep it up.

[@EntrepreneursInCars]

If you mean on KZbin, hit the "join" button, otherwise the 1% Vic mentioned here: www.entrepreneursincars.com/community

[@kharkaroto9486]

Love and sexual desire are not the same thing. The test is about love and connection not sexual desire. You cant transact or negotiate sexual desire.

[@TBrianOnline]

This book is very popular here in Europe and my best friend managed to incorporate it into his RP frame. His relationship is pretty stable and his main girl cares for him even in bad times. He uses the knowledge from the book to know how to reward her good behavior.

[@massimobargagna5641]

love the honesty Rich !

[@LateNightRewrites]

To Jack's wife: woman, you better wake tf up and understand that you have a man who is wanting to connect with you, and the fact that he is willing to call in to fix this, but you're not willing to do anything on your end to help the problem is pretty disgusting. Marriage isn't 50/50, it's 100/100 and you're not even putting in part of what you should be

[@caseyryska4602]

Great content and the two of you are awesome together . Great comment on what was feminine behavior was great and a good attribute to what is alpha behavior. It would be awesome to see an episode on that.

[@sonicfoxxmusic4281]

"Someone I love does something practical to help me out"................... D.I.Y.Y. DO IT YOURSELF, YOURSELF!!!!

[@radsthetics]

I read the book and it ended in break up.

[@LatimusChadimus]

I never fully understood how they can say that people have a primary and a secondary, when I am pretty darn dominant and four of the five

[@mrt5017]

Cant belive they mannaged 9 mins of that.. 😂🤣

[@warcraftnut1354]

Thanks for the information.

[@Irina-xm6mh]

Before watching this video, I took one of those stupid quizzes and apparently my love language is acts of service and my husband's love language is affection or physical touch or whatever it listed. Makes sense, want him to take the trash out and fix stuff and he wants some ass, a clean house , kids taken care of and dinner from scratch 😁 works out pretty well for us but we didnt need this BS book to know that. It's disturbing but not overly surprising that marriage counselors use this.

[@Froggy-jn9mu]

I want to know what you think about the Personal and Professional Boundaries books?

[@pablito12sc]

@15:50 As a "Pablo" myself, I can attest to that :)

[@Barbelldad]

5 Love languages : hot sex , cook , clean , femininity , be kind!

[@KP-if5kc]

I've had a couple chicks try to explain that love language garbage to me. Told them no thanks. Just the title sounded like BS.

[@Alexis-wu7gk]

Wish I would've found these videos a couple years ago. We tried, I wasn't getting the love language crap either but we still tried. It ended up in divorce anyway.

[@conormurphy9907]

100 BTT idea - 100 lives you have changed.

[@chiquitacyborg]

Lust Language Card Game.... DAMN!!! I wish I thought about it first$$$$😎

[@kickinthegob]

I'm not sure that the key to relationship success is to match the love languages. I do however believe that he was onto something with how people are different in what they respond to. I worked in a big corporation in a senior management role and used to teach managers how to get along with their personnel and used to teach them how to identify what their people respond most to. The main point I used to make is that geniune care and concern for your people can't be faked. Everything else is secondary but the care has to be there first. The same can be said in a relationship. If you don't care about your wife, why would you bother finding out if she responds to "words of affirmation"?

[@dougmerrick9064]

Her: what are your 2 LL's Me: Bjs and sandwiches Her: so acts of servitude and physical touch? Me: no just bjs and sandwiches

[@stefan-stocksmadesimple5241]

Funniest BTT !

[@paulstaples6590]

The environment in every relationship is different and always changing , eather fast or slow . Theirs generalities but that's also subject to change . I just don't believe theirs a certain language or blueprint that's a one size fits all , ferther more trying to read a women is nuts ,and what man wants to bend like a pretzel to shape his language for a relationship anyway , no women is that important .

[@robs9610]

Good talk guys. In the book Gary does say that your best bet is to find a significant other with the same love languages. The book is not a solution for fixing your relationship once you've realized you are on opposite extremes of the love language spectrum. It's hard enough to please a SO in that situation on a good day so forget about bridging that gap on a bad day! The book's spot on about people's languages but it's best use is for recognizing up front whether a potential SO's love languages are not a match and to run the other way.

[@sculptureshard377]

Gold this one, pure gold

[@antoniobrasse7157]

People misuse this concept. The 5 love languages can't repair underlying issues. If the foundation is there around wanting to be with each other, the concept of the 5 love languages can serve as keeping the relationship sustainable. But to these guys' points, too many try to use these to fix problems when it was never designed for that. ... I've already told guys that she needs to actually really want you. If that ain't there, nothing else matters.

[@bilbobaggins4403]

The Piano is a cool movie. Harvey Keitel Holly Hunter Sam Neil.

[@BlackLabelExpat]

Like'd only because of the rollo comment

[@Alexander-James]

If your a man and you’re love lanagauge is not “acts of service” then it’s highly likely that you’re a beta male. While most women’s “love language” often changes each time they take the test depending on the time of month and her emotions at that time.

[@Russ-nf9tv]

I need some help guys. I recently regained control of my life and marriage of 20 years, and my wife is really doing well in finding her place in my life. I am considering sending her flowers which I have rarely done in the past. (a) is this a bad idea to reward her like this so soon, as it's only been a month and I am only home on the weekends? (b) if not, how do I convey in a short note that it is a reward for her voluntarily entering my frame, and not me worshipping her, chasing her, or trying to win her love?

[@Russ-nf9tv]

@@Bob-nc4zb I can completely understand your bitterness, as I think we all have been there. I think there may be a lot more knowledge and understanding around here than you give credit to. My wife could leave right now and live like a rockstar for 5 years, yet she isn't leaving. Either way, I am thrilled with my life and I will continue to be true to myself. It probably sounds silly to you now, but if you ever need someone to bounce some thoughts or ideas around with once things start clicking, I always enjoy a good discussion.

[@yomismo1888]

@@Russ-nf9tv did you read the Atol Kay's book?

[@Russ-nf9tv]

@@yomismo1888 I have not, my reading list is still absurdly long. Maybe I should bump that one up?

[@yomismo1888]

@@Russ-nf9tv I just asked because your comment sounded like you followed the "MAP" from that book. So what was your inspiration, The Rational Male from Rollo Tomassi then?

[@Russ-nf9tv]

@@yomismo1888 Tomassi helped me understand how women work which unexpectedly allowed me to understand and forgive my wife. Now I cant even read a single page of any book without going on a day long mindbender over the simplest idea. So I'm still working on the details and drinking from a firehose

[@BradSabako]

Total bullshit. I fell for it, my ex basically brought me into 8 years of servitude by using that damn book.

[@CEWIII9873]

how are you doing these days?

[@atillioso]

Bit of prejudice isn’t it, that you guys say that when you follow this book, you must be a beta who isn’t satisfying the woman? An alpha would not try to understand how to better behave in an relationship? What’s inherently wrong with looking at a relationships from different aspects and trying to cultivate acts of service for example? The guy says that it’s just a case of whether or not it’s desire, but desire can fade away, especially if you don’t do enough inside of the relationship, the book can make you aware of what you “might” be lacking.

[@97jolin6]

I agreed!

[@georgemichas3393]

It's scary that a decent job is not enough for women today, then what is?

[@MrNayo305]

Great video! Excellent value info! Thanks

[@marcelburkhard]

Looks like you have #93 twice?

[@JP_AZ]

Sad I used to promote this shit! 🙈

[@BestofDeweey]

If it stops getting physical and you haven’t changed it’s her so leave marriage is a females trap

[@skdewolf7606]

True. The woman probably wants the man to leave anyway. Or she would be sleeping with him. It really is that simple. Or we could go back to what used to work, man finds mistress until wife regains libido

[@ronhoek69]

46:48 Mohamad doesn't listen 50:18 and again 56:44 and again

[@CEWIII9873]

yup he is a waste-of-time l 0ser....

[@aunybob101]

This guy sounds like Steve-O lmfao

[@RoseMarieMullins]

This reminds me of the John Gottman marriage advice. DOES NOT WORK!

[@achavez78]

Side-note: anyone else hyped on Mohamed? This kid in 12 months gonna be kilkin it!!

[@CEWIII9873]

doubt it he sounds like a whiney l 0ser...

[@brandeno919]

Y’all not lying this love languages bullshit was used on me often as manipulation

[@noid1978]

Sorry, but life is about transactions. Everyone is here at validation, conscious or subconscious. Science supports this concept.

[@wallstreetwolf7681]

5 Love Languages ... Its a TRAP

[@ottson]

Maybe Mr Apex should loose some weight?

[@stevenrosscarpenter]

Maybe Mr Pepe O should learn the difference between "loose" and "lose"

[@ottson]

@@stevenrosscarpenter Sorry, I'm swedish.

[@stevenrosscarpenter]

@@ottson I like Entombed and Ornskoldsvik hockey so you get a pass

[@Spanglish360]

Oh, u can test it and see the lame results u ll get by trying that out 🤦🏻

[@jayanthgopalmagadum790]

Algorithm

[@KombuchaPants]

First 30 minutes “Building a Better Beta”. Gynocentric man training. Well worth the first 30 minutes. No scientific until 2017. No benefit. Reeks of law of attraction

[@jadanblue3927]

Are there beta females? Do women have any responsibility to maintain desire in the relationship? My wife gained 150 lbs since we met and she thinks fixing our love languages will fix our marriage. I never bothered to read this trash.

[@Irina-xm6mh]

Maybe she'll be encouraged to exercise if you do it with her? That's what some people do

[@stevenrosscarpenter]

I hope you're talking about the British currency!

[@yodo6414]

This episod sucked, literally,,