Bury My Heart in Booty Bay

[@thestorythief]

that story about being put down by people is such a really common experience in wow, and especially when you're in your formative years can be so viscerally, gravitationally crushing. My mother, now passed, was my guild leader. My father played in a different guild of other military and ex-military folks, more of a "boys will be boys" type of space. My mother's guild would sometimes pull resources (people, gold, potions, pre-raid BIS gear) from my father's, but they were quiet sister guilds. I didn't interact with a lot of his internet friends. My mother would painstakingly pick each guild member by hand from PUG raiding until she had enough to start running her own raids. I remember those people SO often. Slyyfer (a flighty human rogue) Moo (had a ton of alts, primarily a Tauren Druid with a softness to him.) and a ton of others. I still remember being carried through Ragefire Chasm by the friends my mom found for me in the game, careful to avoid weirdos or shitters, to provide me a safe space to enjoy being a little weirdo. I remember making macros for my Undead Warrior's charge that would shout inane shit in chat. "Kneel for Sylvanas!" and shit like that. I never got the rude, mean experience until I was older. I wish I didn't, honestly. WoW is worse alone, even if it's still very, very good. I get weepy-eyed thinking about those folks and the joy it gave my mother to escape her real, hard life taking care of me and watching my father leave for 9 months every (or every-other) year for deployments. I miss seeing her happily log on to meet with them and chat and seeing her type, in supremely early-aughts fashion: LoL ROFLMAO at their shitty chuck norris jokes. Giggling along together. I miss my mom, so sometimes I still just... boot it up. I play on private servers now, because I miss the old game as it was. Vanilla, Wrath, BC servers. I've got a few accounts. I don't go there often anymore, but sometimes I need a little escape. I remember when I last properly played, I had convinced all my weirdo internet friends to come play on a Wrath server. "You don't have to navigate nerd tinder! We can just play with each other!" My mother immediately bit when she heard me telling them to get into it. She was back. In a big way. She immediately made friends questing, dungeoning, hanging out in capitals. In a matter of days she had made a big group of friends of friends of friends and was inviting them to a guild. My friends were there, too. I got into a fight with a friend of a friend over his shitty attitude about healing. (He was a tank -- hope you have good self sustain homie.) The guild didn't disband, but half my friends left. My mother was devastated. She stopped playing and I took over the leftover players for, maybe a week before I gave up. It made me too sad that she was gone. Later, WoW Classic came out, and she immediately did the same thing. Back at it again at krispy kreme. She couldn't help it, she was just so electrically friendly. A total social butterfly. Sweet, calm, kind, and funny. Everyone she met loved her. She picked a buddy to level with in Razor Hill, and trucked around with him, playing just as much as me and my friends were. She formed a guild. We didn't join. I wanted to make my own way, this one time. She respected that. Then one day, I found her crying over her keyboard, typing out mournful messages to that friend. He wanted to join a more "hardcore" raiding guild, instead of my mom's casual friendly space. Again, devastated. My mother was a sweet woman. So sweet she kept coming back. Kept trying to make friends. Kept trying to move forward and understand that sometimes people just grow apart. But kindness is really only sustained by more kindness. She eventually fell off again, and quit after a month or two of trying to keep building her guild. She apologized to her guildies and left. She was hospitalized some years later. Whisked away in an ambulance because of a heart attack. She came back with a stint in her, struggling to do what she wanted. She could barely stay awake for long. I remember the last thing I told her was that I was scared, and that I couldn't handle it. I was so upset. In the end, I was the last person to leave her alone. Presumably, she died peacefully in her sleep. Some sort of complication with the stint. A mistake in the installation of it killed her, according to the autopsy report (every military spouse gets a full autopsy because, well, military culture is pretty fucking horrible for women. Spouses included.) I still regret it. I still wonder if I could have just been more available, more capable of managing my emotions for her, if I could have said something different. If her last memory of me could have been kindness. The words "I love you." No one was ever kind enough to my mother. Least of all me. I wish they had been. There's not much of a point to all this. I just needed a cry, I guess. I miss the guild, and I miss her. All the time. I just wish we had all stopped taking advantage of that woman's kindness. I just wish we had all been there for her.

[@pee_master]

I think the fact that those moments with her inspired you enough to tell us your story would have made your mother’s heart sing. Keep carrying your mother’s love with you and she’ll continue to live through your every moment ❤️

[@rNathanHardy]

I'm sure you're mother knew you loved her very much. I have a lot of the same feelings towards my fathers death.

[@wiper7000]

She knew. And my condolences :(

[@KisekiFox]

I imagine it must take a lot to talk about this kinda stuff, either that or be cathartic in some way I hope. Thanks for sharing your story dude. this was a beautiful read. I'm absolutely positive your mom knew how much you loved her.

[@niclasbelrra]

"every military spouse gets a full autopsy" Holy shit, didn't know this but it makes all the sense in the world. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story, pal, and sorry for your loss.

[@FauxFalsetto]

It's MY SLEEPOVER, which means I get to pick the MOVIE

[@jasonmatthew94]

For us who grew up with WoW, it will always hold a special place in our heart and will never be that game that we remember it being. Amazing video

[@overdrive112]

I’m a new player in retail this sounds so sad :( I played classic before I moved on to retail and it was amazing, but I can’t imagine how awesome it must be to have been a part of the early days.

[@peen2804]

⁠@@overdrive112it’s really not. It’s just adult children being melodramatic while conflating nostalgia with quality. Like sure I have lots of great memories of classic, but I also acknowledge that 99% of them are fueled by the fact that for the time wow was a relatively novel experience and I was a child with 0 obligations.

[@BlinkyB23]

@@peen2804 Duh, dude. Sentiment, imagination, and nostalgia has a lot to do with it, Everyone knows that. But that doesn't make it any less special. I'm sure you have things like that which you experienced at a younger age that bring you similar feelings. If not, I'm sorry. Also, high quality is not only determined by graphics. The game had many, many layers; Strong writing, incredible details, not to mention very engaging content and a company behind it that was constantly refining the game to meet and exceed player expectations. It's one of the reasons WoW was so popular for so long.

[@DeepestDankest]

That entire portion of the feeling of belonging in a small online community and reminiscing of what they might be up to strikes the soul.

[@andromidius]

Yeah, I occasionally wonder how my old WoW friends are doing. The sad thing is... I can't even remember their character names anymore, I just remember the personalities they had. The Ret Paladin who was my only queer friend in a sea of heteronormality who I'd have long non-WoW related chats with after raids, the gigachad Mage who taught me how to keybind (and not keyboard turn) who would dominate the damage meters while being utterly humble, the Priest who while being a great healer was also a massive troll and would purposely Leap of Faith people into lava if they went AFK for too long. I know how a few others are doing because I kept in touch with them. I know my Death Knight bestie married the guild master in the social guild that was friends with my raiding guild and adopted their children. I know the Rogue who had a vulnerable moment with a few of us in a dark time of their life (and we spent time playing Diablo 2 together so they could take their mind off it) is doing better in life now. I still see a few others playing still, on other servers. But so many I'll never chat to again, most likely. Which is sad. I went through my own 'thing' where I forced myself to quit WoW because I was becoming a toxic angry person who was ruining other peoples' fun. I now have new friends playing Classic. And they are really close knit - many know each other in real life and go on holiday together once a year. I intend to stay in touch with them even if I quit the game - aided by the power of Discord (something we lacked 'back in the day'). We've had people dip out for a few years and return, to much celebration and welcome. It feels... nice. We're casual with each other, joking and jabbing with no malice or hurt feelings. Couldn't ask for more, really. Other then maybe a little more progression, but that's really secondary.

[@joshuadonnelly1978]

Man, at 38:51, you pass by a bottle in the sand, and I instantly recalled what it was. It doesn't sparkle or otherwise draw your attention to it, but if you're paying enough attention to notice that bottle on the beach and click on it, it starts a quest with a letter in the bottle that leads you to rescuing a tauren on the large island (Jaguero?) off the coast of Stranglethorn. That's how great this game was, that I could remember such an easily missable bit of content like that.

[@snazzydrew]

As a long time solo player who's always felt a little too anxious to fit into 'community', this video was very touching.

[@akxdev]

It makes me happy to remember that there are others like me.

[@Indubitably_Pol]

It’s crazy, I started in BC and this is how I was exactly at the start. I ran one dungeon, I think it was Hellfire Ramparts in Hellfire Peninsula? We wiped once on the first boss then everyone quit after a lot of namecalling. Anyways, after that I was afraid to reach out, thankfully, I got to watch my brother (we also shared an account) who was a lot more social and able to get into raids at end game. After wrath and another solo expansion I quit. Only after coming back to the end of cata, I then started to reach out. God this video hit so hard. To this day I am the guy who checks every rock, part of the reason metroidvanias is a goat genre.

[@Jimmy_TV]

@snazzydrew ditto

[@FizzlNet]

I have always been a weirdo MMOR solo player. It made many early games like BatMUD and Everquest more difficult than it should have been. At least in WoW there's a ton of content to play solo. And nowadays getting to see the basic version of raids with just raid finder is good enough for me.

[@ataridc]

@@FizzlNet my understanding is solo players are the vast majority. it's just the high end hardcore players are by far the most vocal. no idea if that's true or not and Im feeling too lazy to google it

[@Spinevoyager]

Kbash, you really sell yourself short during the section when you go into brief detail about your brother's life. You put your thoughts on something you're passionate about out into the world and create intelligent discussions individuals can engage with; that alone is something to be celebrated and respected. I think the fact that you're able to elaborate in such beautiful detail the emotional resonance you've experienced with different games proves they're more than just "baby" toys; they truly can be art and they're an integral part of your life experience. Regardless of how much extrinsic or financial value a select portion of society ascribes to it, what you're doing is just as valid as getting a degree or having a standard job. Be proud of who you are and what you've created.

[@tenworms]

Never touched WoW but this video eviscerated me. Inspired by your story and overjoyed at your KZbin success. I really want to find it in me to work towards something too, to pour myself into something I care about, and to not fear waking up. Not there yet, but when you say it all like this, it feels tangible, like it might be waiting for me. Brutal video, tore a hole through my stomach, as a late 20s child in desperate need of growing up I feel strongly connected to this piece and I don't want to ignore what it's telling me.

[@jackinjapan]

Start small. I'm rooting for you.

[@tobormax]

Old WoW really felt more like a place to be than a game to play for me. Seeing your footage brought back some strong memories for me. I played on a server that was locked to my RL timezone so the time of day in game and RL would match. I remember the first time I played so late into the night that I saw the warm glow of sunrise wash over the game. I looked outside to see the sun rising in my window as well and that weird feeling of WoW as a place took hold of me. I made the mistake of getting caught up in the futile dream to be a pro PVP player and it ultimately killed the game for me. I didn't think I could ever go back to that old feeling, but your video really captures a feeling that I thought was lost forever. Thank you.

[@lazycouchman]

This was something really special. Genuinely moving stuff that's relatable and definitely made me sad. You really make some of the best, most heartfelt, and genuine stuff on this platform.

[@MagusFlorren]

I agree 💯 This hit deep and I’m blown away. Sparked a lot of self reflection for myself and my relationship with WoW

[@TheTummiez]

I'm really happy to see you making a video like this. I think about WoW every day of my life, and I've often thought about writing in this way about my feelings and experiences around the game. The zone for me is Feralas; lush, damp, and foggy. I've been asleep; dreaming in a musty cabin in Camp Mojache for 15 years.

[@alexandreferreiralimaabrao7935]

2 hours of humane and soulful story. Kinda remind me of my own story in videogames. Great to see this side of you. Congrats for the quality and the humanity you put on this.

[@leocgart]

Perhaps the best mmorpg addiction video I've ever seen on the subject, it really is impressive how visceral and realistic Kbash managed to expose this topic from the heart. Thank you for that.

[@simeontodorov8657]

So you think the whole video was regarding video game adiction and how one can look at it different than wasted time?

[@OverratedGames]

There isn't a great way to express how much I appreciate this video without typing way too many words that no one should have to read, so I'll just say thanks so much for making it

[@pelsmith3377]

I can’t top this comment so I will tag along with it This is the best video i have seen all year

[@shaneking9411]

with you on that one.

[@mybrainfellasleep]

I feel compelled to leave a comment as I’m 27 and where im at now feels like the exact dark place Kbash describes at the end of the video, but honestly i dont see a way out of that place for me. And i dont even know what to say beyond that. I dont see myself as being capable of working hard enough to catch that vague idea of who i want to be. i value comfort above all else but theres a ticking timer thats eager to run out. The idea of putting those hours in scares me bc theres no guarantee of anything being there at the end of it all.

[@Konradix05]

I don't really know what to add to this, I feel exactly the same. I guess for me, every time I do peek my head out of my comfortable rock to try to better myself, or to seek that dream I maybe want, I just go back at the sign of the first roadstop. The idea of it makes me spiral into a dark place and over the course of a few weeks I'm back under my comfortable as if nothing ever happened, taking nothing from it.

[@suunnz]

Its okay to be scared, but you should always aim for something even if its small. Anyone can make themselves a better version of themself even if it is marginal. Just think about what you want and start small working to it. Its like pushing a snowball around the more you push it the bigger it will get!

[@kekon3]

Kbash, this video is reaching Tim Rogers levels and energy in the early parts and its fantastic But on an actual, I love what you put into this and respect how personal it feels, there are even parts of this video that I feel mirror or reflect similar my own lifepath be it the very particular bit about fighting games, coping to ones own stagnation, etc. Hearing the words made my heart sink as I considered similar moments in my own life. simply put, this video is awesome. I can see myself rewatching this one.

[@brianbrianbification]

Will add my voice to the chorus, excellent, excellent work.

[@sopranophantomista]

I feel the sorrow and the pain and the reverence in your voice so much. I started playing WoW in 2009. I was introduced to it by a couple of friends who showed me the Wrath of the Lich King trailer. While the graphics were beautiful (Inject those Blizzard visuals into my VEINS), what hooked me was the music. I wanted to so badly to know about the music in its context. So, I signed up, rolled a Forsaken Warlock, leveled it up to 14, then when to a Blood Elf Huntress and I never looked back. I played for 12 years, on and off, until the allegations and exposes of the Blizzard work environment came to light. I felt hurt and betrayed and awful that I had been playing the game for so long because it was perpetuating such a terrible time for the employees. So I had to let it go as my stand against the abuse that was, and still is, running rampant amongst the work environment. I never did get the chance to bring my Main back to Silvermoon, to see the autumn tinged lands of the Eversong Woods one last time before situating her and her Springpaw Lynx, her longest and loyalest companion, to sit on the beach at Falthrien Academy, looking out at the sea. I know it's just pixels, and I recognize that this type of reverence makes people raise their eyebrows. Many won't know the feeling of what an MMO brings to someone's worldview. However, letting go of a game that you spent so long on, and so much time, and became part of yourself for the time you played it, it's me sending it off with a smile, and I never did that. I was too angry at the development environment to care. So maybe, just maybe, when Blizzard cleans itself up and starts to show that they care about their employees, I'll resub and place her there. In the meantime, I've moved on to Final Fantasy 14, and that's been an equally epic ride, and for good reason. The memes are true. If you can get through the growing pains of the pacing and foundational work the base experience gives you, you're golden. Final Fantasy 14 isn't WoW and WoW isn't Final Fantasy 14, they are counterparts, two sides of the same coin, and both do things well, and also do things that can be improved upon. I didn't go into Final Fantasy 14 expecting WoW, but some habits have died hard (I have 17 characters because it still freaks me out that you can reedit your character to any race and class combo. It's silly, I know). What was lost with WoW I found in Final Fantasy 14, but that's not always the case for people, so find your own joy. If there's anything that I can say, it's that. You deserve to be happy in the fantasy worlds you delve into.

[@Whoisjase]

This was the most impactful video you’ve ever released. I’ve been subscribe to you for probably about five or six years now, and this video hit me like a fucking freight train. I just want to say thank you KBash for articulating the words that I haven’t put the effort in to formulate myself. Multiple times throughout this video I felt like crying in a “hurts so good” type of way. thank you for everything that you’ve produced. I truly mean that. For the countless hours throughout every single video of yours that I’ve watched, you distracted me from the off and on agony which is real life. Thank you.

[@duckfire9329]

Kbash, this is really good. Like, really really good. I hope you know how deeply i appreciate what you did here. Just excellent and something no one else is making

[@matthieuhordynski5384]

1:24:25 to 1:25:04, man, my throat hurts from trying to not cry. You've put the finger on the most important thing that made WoW what it is for many: a way to express themselves without the potentially awkwardness of fails you can encounter in real life interactions. I'm now 33, married, 2 kids but man, your video brought me right back to the blissfulness I felt playing WoW from 2005 to 2012 (I still extremely casually play on private server, real life eventually caught me up since then)... thanks man, I'll be forever grateful for those 2 hours of profound nostalgia and soup of mixed feelings. You articulated all those things I thought I could never define so precisely. What amazes me the most is how similar two human lives can be. I mean, I'm Belgian, played on European French speaking servers and yet the things I did and lived during all those years (especially during vanilla, TBC and the start of WOTLK) feels closely the same as what you experienced. God bless you.

[@JesziePVP]

The feel of the game when I was a kid was surreal and that feeling is what kept me coming back to this date searching for how I once felt. Like an addict searching for the feeling of that first hit.

[@joshuagoodman9688]

Thank you for having the courage to bare your soul so openly and vulnerably. At the risk of sounding like I’m embellishing or sounding overly syrupy, I think this video is a truly beautiful and incredible gift. You’ve always had an incredible ability to put things poetically in all your videos, and the emotion here, in addition to your eloquence, only adds to its beauty and importance. I truly hope to learn and grow from your story, as there is so much to glean from what you spoke about. Thank you, sincerely, for being willing to share this with me, and everyone else here who viewed it.

[@thingamajiblet]

I appreciate the sentimentality in all of your videos, particularly because they reflect feelings, experiences, and even emotional growth I've had and it's cathartic to hear them coming from another person. Long time viewer and your bit about never being social online, amongst most of what you said hit so close to home that I felt compelled to break my own online anxiety and say how much I appreciate your content

[@suhfee]

god god GOD this style is so good! it's a refreshing turn for the channel, a cool way of seeing your creativity and writing chops in a new context, and a nice showcase of a game whose review i'd never watch but stories i could hear for hours. 10/10 will watch again and again

[@lachlanclews-decastella3079]

The promise of an escape where you can can become a hero, only to fail to achieve any form of significance within the escape and be surrounded by the legends whom live your dream, while you distract yourself from the long path with distractions and gimmicks. To return to that dream with the power of an adult mind only to realise the pursuit is empty, but you've grown to a stage in your life where you can fulfil that dream outside of the escape. Those are my most resonant sentiments from this video. My experience of wow was always playing catch up, not having the time to keep pace with my friends, I was forced to play solo, finding once I reached where they were, they were again a step ahead. In other MMOs, I always wanted to be a part of a community, an important member with a known name. But my seeking of that validation would fracture my attention and time between different things, causing me to never achieve the consistency required to become a true pillar. When lockdown swept around, my options limited, I started working on my own creative project and creative skills. Lockdown ended our in person D&D sessions, so I started coming up with my own setting, rules, systems and story. All stemming from an idea I had come up with 10 years earlier, fleshed out slightly in dead winter shifts at an ice-cream store, then abandoned to the back of my mind to fester in the margins of notebooks. After making some progress in that project, as the world again began to open up, I sought to return to the activities that I had previously determined as pillars of identity, a mediocre skill at smash (enough to stop friends from wanting to play, but not enough to get to third round at locals) and a decent ability to co-ordinate teams in group games such as league and overwatch without having the individual skills to perform in any other than a supportive role. These things felt hollow now, as if the time I spent in attempting to push my skills to attempt to catch up to those around me, was time spent letting the creative project I had started, again return to fester and die. I began to feel a guilt from games, a guilt in my past for all the time I had spent forging this false pride in calling myself a 'gamer' and a guilt that if I didn't keep playing games, I'd be abandoning my friends. To top things off, the initial sessions of my new TTRPG were clunky, the systems complex, the rules unclear, the world massively overcomplicated yet hollow. The pacing was bad and I felt I had failed. But, I stuck with my project and personal creative development and expression. Month after month, things got better, the system more refined, the sessions more engaging, the process more rewarding. I feel at times that I spend an ungodly amount of time focused on the development of a personal passion that has grown to a size that it's unfeasible to explain it to anyone whom values their time to care about. But finding that personal pride and using it as a drive to seek every next day, an excitement to continue to work on. Kbash, I'm happy that I somehow discovered your videos, (I golden sun was the first). Your commentary and Analysis, while entertaining, has been insightful in contextualising the guilt that I had for my past instead as formative experiences that have served to shape the person that I am today, while in my memory I was not aware of the impact that games had on my thinking and my personal experience, with each upload of yours I gain a new lens to reflect on the experiences of my past, while developing a deepening appreciation of the creative process and impact and value that creative work has on people as a whole. I'm thankful that your path has taken you where it has, for every 'failing' or comparison to definitions of conventional success that you see yourself as lacking, this content and these thoughts and feelings exist in my life, due to yours. Thanks Champ.

[@jakemorris8788]

Yeah, this is going to be one of my favorite videos that you've made so far isn't it? Even as someone who's never played WoW and didn't quite get it at the time, I vibe so hard with your experience.

[@Beem0b0t]

It's absolutely astonishing just how similar of a time we've both spent on World of Warcraft over the years, Kbash. And now, seeing how many people in these comments, in your community that you've accumulated over the years, who have also gone through the same thing... It's truly overwhelming. I've never felt more alone or misunderstood than I have in the last couple of years and watching this 2 hour and 10 minute video that somehow described my entire life without describing my life has made me feel seen, heard, and understood. This is my absolute favorite video of yours so far. This call out into the void has thousands of echoed stories returning to you and I hope you, too, feel seen, heard, understood, and most of all loved. Kbash you're an amazing creator with a brilliant mind and you're an inspiration to me and many others like me. Thank you for this video.

[@pyryojala3008]

Oh my god I did not see this coming and now I'm coming

[@xandermagne2141]

the time has come and so have i

[@Bloodshade]

HNNNGGGGG

[@ChaoticNeutralAnimation]

We're all coming, together. It's a massively multiplayer coming experience

[@erutanevoli]

😂

[@nutni9353]

Without fail, I have thought about this comment every day since this video came out. Makes me smile every time. Legendary status!

[@SeanOVoices]

As someone who also got into WoW way too early, I resonate with this story a lot. Not in the later areas as I stopped after almost failing 6th grade but GOD... Realizing how young you are and how naïve ... You're a great content creator, Kbash, and honestly thank you for this story. It helped to forgive my younger self honestly.

[@JCIII3]

1:22:24 may be some of the best comedic delivery and timing I've seen. I belly laughed. "I was" will be seared into my brain for a while.

[@TLKjedi]

I felt this. I graduated high school in 2008, I started working and I missed the significant contents of the expansions wrath and onward. I wanted to fully experience classic after my last significant memory being raiding hardcore in TBC. Unfortunately, I would never get the opportunity to relive those glory days. It definitely started strong, but I got to level 50 before the weight of post-military full-time college and part time work made it completely unfeasible. Now I'm a full time accountant with a 1 hour commute each way and re-tried again to fully live wotlk, an expansion I mostly missed, and again I was unable. With what limited time I had It felt both bad and comforting seeing the incredibly prolific tryhard and GDKP cultures take hold. The entire landscape never had a chance to be what it once was, and the simple fact is internet culture outgrew classic MMO stratagems. Just watching diablo 4 videos casually it fills the feed with FOMO inducing tier lists and min/maxing. At the end of the day old WoW is what it is: a memory. And we can only move forward. i've been watching kbash videos for a minute now, and I must say, you really knocked it out of the park this time man.

[@Zabenjaya]

Man this hit so hard. The closing line brought tears to my eyes. Bury me with you brother. The lost souls of Azeroth. We may have moved on, but a piece of us will never leave.

[@worm9908]

I know this is an old video but your words near the end really struck me "go to sleep, wake up and keep going" i've gone through a very important point in my life just today and those words helped me remember what I've went through in my life and finally process my emotions and also assured me that since recently, I'm on the right path in life despite the grief I am experiencing Thank you.

[@solomon_express]

This instantly became one of my favorite videos of all time---you are in a league of your own here on KZbin. Thank you for your contribution!

[@bigmikeyp7018]

Re-watching this a year later, and just wanted to say thank you for sharing such a raw part of your childhood. I have eerily similar memories of original WoW to you so this video hit me like a freight train the first time, and again watching it now. I originally played Alliance on an RP server because a friend told me to, and my crowning achievements were a lvl 50 holy specced Paladin (the worst spec for levelling) and a mid-40s Rogue. Like you I also ended up in the Horde (on a PVP server) following that same friend, and came to love that faction more. I hit 60 with a Troll Shaman 'Garouk' who I still remember fondly, and made it a decent way into the Burning Crusade expansion before bouncing off for reasons I can't remember. As you said towards the start of the video, there is something about the boundless possibilities and exploration in this game as a child that I will never be able to get back (haven't even touched Classic WoW partly because I know it won't recapture that magic), but I'm really glad to have had those experiences. Thank you again for making this, I'll probably be watching again next year!

[@freeman7168]

kbash, im glad i found your channel some years ago, im a 27 year old guy struggling with jobs and a degree of antrhopology that is getting hard to obtain but with an unbreakable view of the future and what is yet to come, discontent and burning out is something very real when sometimes things look hard af, so having a platform to hear a guy like you fills me with understanding and empathy

[@Majextic]

I miss old WoW so much. I used to play with my dad and brother, and we got into it when I was in my teens, struggling with depression. It gave me an escape and I had friends and I was happy for once. I wish I could go back almost more than anything and play with all those old friends again. Some of my happiest memories were just talking in guild chat while doing my Quel'Danas dailies in Burning Crusade. One of my favorite characters was a Gnome Warlock named Naglfar, after the spell in Fire Emblem 8. My imp was named Zepkin.

[@akoot]

Thanks for sharing, isle of QQ was peak WoW for me. It's never been that good since

[@RhythmLP]

I have mostly been a lurker but i have watched your content for YEARS at this point. This is possibly the greatest video you have ever produced and is extremely touching and motivating. Thank you for being so vulnerable with us, your story has helped a lot. Hope you have a good one. ❤

[@lae7363]

This is the type of video I can watch multiple times and start embracing key moments. I value the sentimentality sewed into your work, it’s what makes these watches so enjoyable. I especially relate to the struggle for identity as a triplet, not realizing until recently how much of an effect it has on the psyche. As usual, good work man good work❤

[@SapphireLibra3]

A _2 hour video from KBash?_ Well this is new. I'll be taking a watch of this when I get some time to myself.

[@Runningwritingreading]

An extremely cathartic and real analysis of your behaviors and past experiences and you're addicted to video games. Thank you for putting this together I can really relate to it too

[@skylertaliesin3132]

I think this is one of those videos you find exactly when you need it. WoW has been with me for all of my formative years, ever since I watched my best friend's parents raiding in Vanilla, and finally graduated from trial accounts into a whole 2-month subscription in Burning Crusade. I missed most of Wrath, but Cataclysm brought me back, and was probably the most memorable time in all my thousands of hours of playtime. I was part of a roleplay guild that legitimately became my one and only reason to play the game. Stories within stories, created by us as players, limited only by our creativity. I don't think I'll ever experience something quite like that in WoW again, but maybe that's okay. Dragonflight rekindled my love of the game, and was the first expac since Cata that I played all the way through. As TWW approaches, I'm anxious to see what new adventures await. It's a different world now, both within the game and without. I started in middle school. I'm now in my tenth year of slowly finishing my degree, approaching thirty and still feeling like someone gave me my 'adult' card by mistake. I'm still using my favorite game to escape from a world where everything is too much, all at once. I'm not proud of that, but I'm not ashamed, either. Everyone's got their method of dealing with it all. This is all to say, thank you for sharing your experiences. It's been a crazy ride, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

[@nobel11]

Good lord, this was a beautiful journey. Thank you for sharing, while I was never a WoW guy, this felt very close to home for me.

[@Thetopbunk]

Dude, I’ve watched this video like a dozen times in the last few months. Even though my experience wasn’t identical I found this video unbelievably relatable. I really appreciate this video, and I think the stories of young experiences with a game as prolific as WoW is a really fascinating thing that can be intimately shared and cherished.

[@andrusman100]

I’m going to be hearing those closing lines in my head for the rest of my life. Thank you for sharing this experience

[@SwampWater]

You talking about your KZbin channel really hit home. The only thing I feel motivated to do is make videos that no one watches. It's just nice to find purpose in something, fanfare or not. I'm sincerely glad your channel is growing. I've been around forever, and your journey is incredible.

[@mythicalmeanderings]

Funny thing, my mom gifted me and my brother WoW with a subscription code for Christmas, we were 11 and 12. She handed the wrapped gift to us telling us to open it, with the refrain "If you get addicted to this game I'm ripping the internet cord out of the wall" We both toyed at it for a while and got bored, quit before the time card ran out. Never gripped us, no real clue why. Still a legendary game.

[@donnylurch4207]

Oh, I'm here for this. Kbash and I are about the same age, and I had a similarly formative experience with WoW. I was already a fan of the IP, Warcraft 2 and 3 being two of my favorite games to that point. I was excited when I heard about WoW but didn't get into it until 2005, and never enjoyed endgame content at level 60 before BC dropped. I'd played The Realm Online before, but WoW was a whole other ballgame. Its impossible to sum it up here, so I'll wrap for now, but suffice to say my older brother (who got me into WC2 and TRO before) and mom got real into WoW eventually and it was a nice, common point of reference to bond over for a while, though we never played together.

[@ardgwatlol]

Two hours! You spoil us! Thank you for all the amazing content, can't wait to watch this later on this evening!

[@kademcneely6009]

You’re a legend my friend and keep inspiring others. (And yourself)

[@Cooliex1986]

My time in WoW was similar. Mostly played late Vanilla til WOTLK. Had made great friends, played it wrong for a long time as well and made a grey haired human paladin as my first character. I know a lot of outsiders will think "wow, how could you get sucked into this?" And i can only say, you had to be there. You had to be there in that introverted depressed time in your life. When youre working theough college, working minimum wage at a department store, and you just feel like your life is going nowhere. When you get home, log in, see your guildmates and you guys and gals dont even have to do a dungeon. You just shoot the shit with similar people and it felt GOOD. I truly miss the old MMO days and i miss my guild. But they are long gone. This video helped me reminisce on my early years if WoW as well so i just wanna say thanks KBash. If you are to be buried in Booty Bay, then i ask that they bury me in Zangarmarsh. It was always my favorite zone to explore in burning crusade. The beautiful and huge mushrooms, the calming rain, the lakes, and just the overall color and vibe of it. I would be at peace there...

[@Vaeland]

Now I see why your videos always feel so familiar and nostalgic or like home. Feel like you’re exact type of person I’ve heard in calls for countless hours, both in ventrilo and in modern times 😂

[@LNMagic]

I was obsessed. For 5 years, I spent over 14% of my waking hours in that game. I argued over things getting needed or changed for the worse. I obsessed over getting better gear. And I "needed" 3 sets of armor for my hybrid class, just in case. Hell, I successfully talked a bit in a raid using my warlock when out group had a tank that couldn't handle two moons that well. I was good at adapting, but not the best ever. I still remember fondly the awe and sheer scale of the place when the only way to reach new lands was on foot or horse. I became Loremaster and Explorer for completing every quest and finding every named place. And, like you, I quit. I realized how much I was missing in real life. Trying friends who wanted to hang out that it was raid night. I saw how much money I had actually spent in the game, and I had to leave that world behind. The game left me behind, too. As nice as it was to fly around the old kingdoms, it effectively shrunk the world. Going through dungeons had one been a reliable way to slowly build connections with new friends, but that went away with Lich King's LFG tool. All the old places were newly empty and unsatisfying. I miss the old WoW, but I can't go back there anymore. What's more, even if it came back, I'm scared of going back. I have a different life now that needs time. I do miss done of the music, though. This was a nice ride.

[@xSixthiSx]

i wasn't planning on going on a journey where at the end, i'd feel conflicted, in a place between a very real sorrow and a genuine happiness. even more so, a hope for the best. but here i am. thank you for this video kbash, i look upon it very fondly.

[@willdavis7439]

I never played WoW, but this video felt like I was experiencing it vicariously through your memories. Thank you for your time and eloquent sharing of this story

[@redracer712]

i am immensely down for future forays like this, keep em rockin' man

[@denis_ds]

I am glad I decided to watch the whole thing, as it inspired me to do my own introspection. And I am glad you made it. WoW is undeniably a huge part of many of us, not just as an experience but as factors in personal growth. To talk in such a resonating and emotional way is huge accomplishment on your end that required a lot of noticeable work. It's a shame many will skip this essay in favor of viewing other youtubers' regurgitated content that has no substance whatsoever and covers only surface level dissatisfactions with the game, as opposed to presenting a decade old emotional grab with their own fists relaxed and hearts open. Following your path, even though I didn't face such problems like yourself, I will find my closure, buried in one way or another.

[@tetrahedron_in_space]

I still remember looting the Precisely Calibrated Boomstick, a level 43 Epic-quality Gun with the fastest attack speed of any ranged weapon at that point in the game, and basically using it on my Hunter in PvP and crushing everything with it all the way until I hit 60. I don’t play WoW anymore, but I know for 100% certain that the Precisely Calibrated Boomstick I looted all the way back in 2006 is sitting in my bank, eternally enshrined next to my level 60 pre-rework Hunter set gear from Onyxia.

[@timothyunderwood342]

I never, and I mean NEVER comment on videos, but this is seriously an amazing video and a format that suits you well. More importantly (I think,) you gave me a lot of perspective on the individual aspect of games as personal experiences rather than as pure media or culture. I was never into WoW growing up, so I couldn't exactly relate to your experiences, but damn it made me think back on whatever similar experiences I had in gaming and what it meant. Really, really good stuff.

[@santathewiseone]

For what it’s worth these long form videos seem like a natural progression for your content. Feels like you were able to flex your chops a little more, lots of nice lines to chew on

[@gladwolfy6097]

i love you kbash. wow holds such a special place in my heart. thank you for this :)

[@FinalDragoon63]

Its amazing how closely your experience with WoW reflected my experience with XI, except at a young age I was so quick to become a tryhard - camping valuable Notorious Monsters (World Bosses) at life-ruining hours of the night and morning. To this day I still get sick with nostalgia, and sit with a glass of whiskey worried about the people I met and the experiences that impacted me so much. Are they doing well, are they healthy? Happy? Living their lives to the fullest? I sure hope so, but most of them remained pixels on my old CRT.

[@TheCatalystvid]

Thank you for putting out content thats from the heart. Mad respect.

[@Celthor]

I am only 39 minutes into this video and I am blown away, so happy I found this video and this channel. Now, back to the video.

[@sukamii]

I've always adored your videos, I've been watching for several years now- and I always assumed that it was just because your prose, your means of writing and conveyance was an attractive feature of your works; but with this video I've come to understand that, in a sense, your videos inspire me quite deeply. Through my time with WoW, and watching this video, there's a lot of shared experience and emotion. The things you make represent something to me that is inspiring, that gives me the desire to explore more, and rekindle my desire to struggle through my own life, complete my education, go into teaching, and finally discover the thing that I truly want to do in my life. As you said "as if I were fighting the sun itself". I don't think I'm at that point yet, not strong enough to fight for myself, but one day I will be, and I know that in truth it won't be alone. As parasocially as this shit sounded, I greatly appreciate your videos Kbash, always have and always will.

[@adventurerready3114]

You hit the spot my friend! We share the nostalgia and 90% of the in-game experience. I also recall my best buds Phrygia (HU) and Exon (EN), despite never communicating outside the game.

[@tricky1800]

I've never played WoW, I wasn't allowed to play a lot of games as a kid, but this shit almost made me cry. I'm 26 right now, skating by as always, wishing for something to make me feel the way you feel with KZbin. I'm glad you've found success. I hope it continues.

[@kaijew8930]

This is a good companion piece to folding ideas world of war craft video.

[@akane999]

What a rollercoaster, got chills at so many points. Beautiful video KBash. ❤

[@hellodex36]

The bit about comparing yourself to your brothers really hit close to home. Great video!

[@KisekiFox]

Thank you for making this video dude. This is a very open and vulnerable video, I love empathetic little "peek behind the curtains" bits things like this are, of how human the individual and real the human experiences are of the person making the stuff we enjoy. This was a joy to watch the whole way through, every minute worth my full attention.

[@Justice17]

This video is amazing. Thanks for the huge burst of nostalgia thinking about my own experience in this game. I never really consider it but I must say WoW is a top 5 game of all time and did so much for gaming when you think about it. I started on BC after being tempted since vanilla from my friends that played and instantly got consumed in the world for like 4 straight years. Amazing experience overall

[@sternbberg]

wow. this was absolutely beautiful and phenomenal. it's not easy to open up in front of thousands of unknowns. this was really something special. thank you so much for sharing.

[@HasXXXInCrocs]

My favorite game of all time, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Thanks for this ❤

[@BlinkyB23]

Damn...WoW was magical. I give a lot of credit to the music, esp the Nelf music (the first zones I ever played in). Fantastic atmosphere. And I also gave my character a haircut which I would later have in real life, lmfao. I even married someone I met on WoW (we later divorced). My ex didn't like to play together much and I wasn't really a serious gamer who ran all the endgame content for gear or progression so I played alone a lot. Tinkered around, leveled up professions, farmed in Pandaland. And there were years when I was just in a very depressed headspace and def used this game to escape...It was a safe space but also a lonely one. It's just crazy how much this game became part of my actual life. I haven't played it in years but it still holds a spot in my heart. Pieces of who I was. I think your closing lines speak to a lot of people who would lose themselves in game worlds for diff reasons...Anxiety, loneliness, depression...You have a fondness for those fleeting moments of curiousity and joy but also a sadness when you reminisce on who you were in those moments.

[@Vulgarth1]

Gotta admit, dude, I burst out laughing like a maniac at the fade-out suddenly being interrupted by the Patreon jingle and the high-energy showman lines. What a marvellous release of tension. Great video, too. Real food-for-thought stuff.

[@suhfee]

the section speaking on unfulfilled potential, self actualization, and gaming addiction made me cry. this is an all timer on this site for me. thanks kbash

[@russellgreaker6842]

"For another part of the video" the video. I absolutely loved this, I am watching it all slowly and enjoying every second of it.

[@uutarn]

I felt nostalgic and came back to this. Err yea, feel like a stalker. Still just as good 7 months later. Everything rings true to not only my experience but, as I see from the comments, plenty of others too. Mate, seriously, the cadence with which your script is delivered is nothing but utterly engaging. The legacy this game has on me is so strong that if i meet someone new and I discover that they played WoW back in the day, even if i like them, I will INSTANTLY and admitedly irrationally, judge them negatively, if they played horde; doubly if they played forsaken rogue. (I played alliance priest)

[@Snakebyte42]

This might be one of the best videos on the platform. Thank you.

[@corytanksley7909]

I don't think I've ever gotten this emotional with a Kbash video, but that last bit... the part about out-growing WoW... that hit home. My wow adventure was much the same as Kbash. I used to love WoW, but at some point I had to just grow up. I will always have those fond memories of playing with my friends, but those days are in the past.

[@AuspexAO]

This is fantastic, introspective work and I suspect it will hit a little differently for everyone who watches it and was a WoW player. It has a Tim Rogers feeling to it (and that's the highest compliment I can give). I feel like I would have been more happy if I had embraced my love (addiction) to video games as a career. Hell, maybe it's not too late for that. I just know that hearing your stories about playing WoW and remembering my own times in Azeroth are far more meaningful than anything I've ever done to earn a dollar.

[@pee_master]

KBash uploading my fave style of content about one of my fave experiences in gaming ❤

[@Kuuribro]

This felt. Raw. Real. A lot of it reflected my own journey as I went through the OG World of Warcraft. I bounced back and forth in it every expansion for years before I was able to eventually cut the whole baggage loose. But the formative memories that I carry with me, are some of the most valuable experiences and relationships I've ever had in my life. They led me to who I am. I spent a long time on RP servers. In that classic WoW, when everybody was exploring and experiencing the world. I was creating some of the most epic and interpersonal stories with people, I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. There was more enjoyment in that /rp chat than in the actual button-pressing combat of the game. I remember moments that were only described in text, clearly in my mind, as if seen in a movie. I played a grizzled old Dwarf and was given officer roles in guilds. I had responsibility and acted old, in-character and out of character, WAY beyond my actual age of 15/16. I met my first crush, a bouncy energetic Night Elf girl who everybody seemed to love. I went to that woman's wedding many years later. Burning Crusade kind of. Broke things up. People moved to new servers to play with new friends. Rolled to the Horde to play pretty Belves. The group cracked and slowly split apart. It never really ... got that good again, for the rest of my time on and off with the game. --- I like your videos Kbash. I like your eloquence, I like the energy you put into things. The way you speak or script. expresses a love and passion that I WISH I could state about the things I like. I doubt we'll ever get the chance but, of the very few content creators I actually follow closely, I would love to have a beer or a tea and just. Expound about the love of games you so clearly have, and put into all your projects.

[@IceifritGaming]

I never group when I started played World of Warcraft in vanilla... I had bad experiences with grouping in Ultima online. Made it to 60, was farming Scholomance for AD rep using MC, shackle, and kiting when I got a whisper asking where the rest of my group was....a guild had heard rumors of a priest going in and out of Scholomance solo at all hours of the day so they sent the GL and RL to investigate. After some apprehension on my part I invited them but told them to stay back and out of the way. I got to learn about raiding, team speak, etc. during the run and then got MC attuned over the next week with their help. I still have the SS of the MC damage meter the first night I topped it. Never had a game feel the way that game did ever since.

[@michaeld8705]

Really moving and relatable story. Appreciate you sharing this with us

[@ZatomiAwake]

There's a certain level of irony, watching this while playing Warframe and imagining the nostalgia of playing Dungeon Fighter Online. Similar Era, similar struggle. Year 2009, over 20 alts because I wanted to know how the game played with every class and subclass, refusing to get to max on any of them while my friends shot past me because they could commit, and I just couldn't. Damn. That one stung.

[@adav838]

I have never detasseled corn but I have harvested it by hand. Tough work. By the way, this is one of the most emotional videos I've watched in a good while. I absolutely love it. Amazing job!

[@kanashiryokushi4569]

I love how we all just admire this man has dropped a video and we are just ready to support becauee it's about to beyond the quality of what's it's worth bash is a historian of video games and all things nerd

[@Obironnkenobi]

I love hearing the VoidWalker getting their deserved praise. A buddy of mine was a Warlock and he referred to his as "Voidwalker Texas Ranger" because he would straight up roundhouse anyone that got in his way.

[@Jescribano1]

This is not getting any views... So sad dude. This is my favorite video of yours. Thanks for this. Such a good story, so well told. Reminds me of that Doki Doki memorial guy. You are gold kbash, please take care of yourself

[@zynthexthezane]

This video is something else. Words can't really describe how much I relate to your story. As an Alliance player, I salute you, KBash. Your warlock will not be forgotten.

[@nathanzorndorf8214]

My experience in WoW mirrored yours closely. I remember abandoning my level 43 gnome rogue when BC came out, and never making it to level cap until Wrath. I piddled around, exploring, begging for gold, mining, crafting mechanical squirrels, and investing in the look and feel of my character. I also largely played the game solo, with brief interludes as a guild master (which I also did to get the cool title under my characters name) and forming a 2v2 arena team with a death knight in wrath. It was a great time. Thanks for this poetic retelling of your time with WoW. I greatly enjoyed it!

[@guiga6604]

A 2h kbash video on my favourite game is such a bless

[@ZombieMarkTwain]

This is a such an important video. It resonates so much with me I can only assume it does the same for many other players. What a World of Warcraft.

[@kyesmith3704]

Amazing video my guy. The self reflection at the end is very touching. I often have the same thoughts torment me, great to hear you’ve arrived at the next plateau of life ready to fight.

[@BloodVixen]

As a person who may have been older, but not by much, I draw so many parallels from your story. I was fresh out of high school when I first picked up world of Warcraft. I had just joined the military, finished basic training, gone through AIT (advanced technical training,) and had my first little taste of freedom for the first time in my life when I discovered the game in the PX (post exchange.) A budding adult, with nothing but time on their hands. As time went on, I would find others in my unit who also played. We would also get together and have Warcraft 3 LAN parties using our laptops, my friends router, and what felt like miles of coax cable. It's an irreplaceable moment in the hearts and minds of an entire generation of people. But there is one thing that we must always remember: we may never be able to return to those wonderful moments of our past, but take heart in knowing that those moments will endure in our hearts and minds for many years to come. The game has most definitely changed now, and I remember fondly and sometimes reluctantly the journey it took to get to those changes. The memories won't change. They will live on in our hearts and minds forevermore.

[@uutarn]

Tell you what mate, i don't normally do long form vids but your story had me hooked in the first 5 mins. Thoroughly enjoyed.

[@WaffleMenu]

This style in this video feels like an absolute ode to Tim Rogers and I love it. Favorite video on the channel so far! Great job.