How To Take Back Control Of Your Life From Alcohol, Porn & Social Media | Cal Newport

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Cal Newport talks about depth vs. distraction in Episode 270 of the Deep Questions podcast.
An increasing number of people are suffering from “super distractions” that rise above the level of harmless diversion and instead start to actively hold them back in their life. Some of the common culprits cited include social media, online pornography, and alcohol. In this episode, Cal takes a closer look at what creates super distractions and uses this insight to come up an effective game plan for fighting back.
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0:00 Taking control of your life from super distractions
28:43 How can I stay productive while in between goals?
33:02 Will I become depressed from a dopamine fast?
36:17 How can I overcome negative thoughts?
42:36 Are there rituals to help me handle shallow work more efficiently?
50:48 Success with an electronic detox
59:26 NPR left Twitter and the effects are negligible
Connect with Cal Newport:
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About Cal Newport:
Cal Newport is a computer science professor at Georgetown University. In addition to his academic research, he writes about the intersection of digital technology and culture. Cal's particularly interested in our struggle to deploy these tools in ways that support instead of subvert the things we care about in both our personal and professional lives.
Cal is a New York Times bestselling author of seven books, including, most recently, A World Without Email, Digital Minimalism, and Deep Work. He's also the creator of The Time-Block Planner.
The videos are considered to be used under the "Fair Use Doctrine" of United States Copyright Law, Title 17 U.S. Code Sections 107-118. Videos are used for editorial and educational purposes only and I do not claim ownership of any original video content. I don't use said video clips in advertisements, marketing or for direct financial gain. All video content in each clip is considered owned by the individual broadcast companies.
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[@user-dn1rt8jq2j]

@45 min shallow work, reducing the anxiety of it. I've found helpful Thich Nhat Hahn. Here's a quote: "While cooking, washing the dishes, sweeping, carrying water or chopping wood, you dwell deeply in the present moment. We don’t cook in order to have food to eat. We don’t wash in order to have clean dishes. We cook to cook and we wash dishes to wash the dishes. The purpose is not to get these chores out of the way to do something more meaningful. Washing the dishes and cooking are themselves the path to Buddhahood." Maybe it's good to relax around the shallow work and validate it as part of life? And that doesn't negate our efforts towards striving to be better?

[@shantanushekharsjunerft9783]

Very well put! Mindfulness in everything, without judgment

[@carolineinitaly]

Thank you for this video, Cal. I have been alcohol-free for 26 months and without any social media for 50+ days and it's really incredible how I now realise how much time and energy these things were taking away from me. I really recognise now that I was using both of these to numb feelings of depression related to me playing my past over and over in my head and just opting for something quick and easy that would distract me in that moment. Over the last 50 days that I've been off social media and using my phone a lot less I've found so much more time to read books, keep a journal, meditate and just be more present in the moment. This has really helped me get to the bottom of what I was trying to run away from and why. My life feels so much more peaceful without all the noise of social media and what is going on in everybody elses lives. I used to care so much what was going on on Instagram and comparing my life to others that I was completely missing out on what really matters to me and being present in my own life. It's so nice to be able to focus on tasks for a long time like reading a book and realising an hour and a half has gone by, or starting to write in my journal and then realising I've written five pages! I often keep my phone in a drawer now when I'm at home and keep it in my bag rather than my pocket when I'm out and about and just use it when I actually need it like to call someone or use Google Maps. It's so liberating to be present in my own life again and doing things I actually enjoy. Much like the case study in this episode, i complained that I never had any time but I realised I did and I was just wasting it doing meaningless things. It has completely changed my life! Thank you!!

[@engineeringmadeasy]

Many Many Many Many Many Zillions and Zillions of Congratulations to YOU. Keep going and show a bigg middle finger to these distractions which are ruining our Human's daily life. Well Done.

[@zad0k91]

Congrats! If your "trigger" was the feeling of depression from playing your past over and over in your head, how did you get control over that? Did you ever get the negative feelings to stop, or did you just learn to live with it?

[@linda.leomoon]

Explaining why we do things we don't want to do puts a whole new perspective on things. Thank you for your work and especially for this channel.

[@hopelessatusernames]

20:00 This advice absolutely works. My first month of not drinking coincided with starting the 'reinvent your life in 4 months' video and it was the key. I knew I was drinking to assuage anxiety rather than experience pleasure. But that knowledge wasn't enough, I needed to learn how to cope without it and the 3 cornerstone habits (focused on building emotional health) helped. A month was much easier than the week off I had previously white knuckled my way through.

[@prometheuszero9]

Very interesting video and so far, at about 13 mins in, the concept of replacing the super distractions with something else is good to hear. A lot of people have used this to get past the super distractions. I think our natural instinct with these things is to think, "Well, I just need to try harder, fight more!" and so we try to exert more willpower, but that often has the exact opposite effect. In particular, the idea of replacement reminds me a lot of the basic concept behind the AA program, which is essentially that by working the 12 Steps of AA as a way of life, the desire to drink itself will go away. Instead of fighting against cravings with willpower or trying to avoid places where alcohol is or trying to bang alcohol, the 12 Steps help to remove the desire to drink and replace it with something much healthier than booze.

[@elviswilly5296]

Thank you for taking the time to create this. Learned alot from your book, this show is golden as well.

[@monikakress3867]

thank you for this incredibly kind and compassionate episode. this topic takes a lot of courage to discuss.

[@user-dk5hx6mk2i]

Sir, i am also suffering from porn addiction Thanks for making video on this topic❤ My life is getting worse day by day

[@bonitapersona]

The first big step is to become conscious about it. The second big step is to know and deeply understand that, with all certainty, it will get better, even when you misstep the hope is always present and bigger than the guilt. And then look for Easy Peasy Porn Free if you still haven't read it, and understand the full framework change it suggests (it's based on Carr's book to stop smoking).

[@exelmans8855]

Well, stop it. I’m dead serious.

[@bluebellbeatnik4945]

Do you never get bored? I had something similar but after a while I got bored. The problem is that your pleasure stick is attached to your being so unless you hack it off with a chainsaw, you're going to struggle. Try Buddhism. The understanding there is that your addictions can never ever be satiated. Once you understand that, you can understand there is no reward.

[@user-dk5hx6mk2i]

@@exelmans8855 I am trying but not get succeed yet😭

[@andreayaya]

Brett McKay of Art of Manliness podcast has written a book on How To Quit Porn. I'm sure he has articles about it too. No addiction is "harmless". You can recover. Best regards to you.

[@al3xj]

Great detail, great appropriateness as always, thanks Cal

[@1cindy8552]

This was a very much needed video for me to watch. I haven’t finished it (only saw the first 20 minutes) but that alone has enough guidance for anyone looking to make changes in their life.

[@cedricol]

I'd love examples. "find strategies" is too vague. I understand it needs to be personal to work well, but still, examples would help.

[@user-hf9zp5rz4i]

You lack discipline

[@emilioparedes93]

Agree!

[@futureboy314]

Yeah this surprised me, I thought he was gonna drill down and then we zipped right past.

[@andrewj.k.9917]

Cal ....... you are awesome

[@harleymandk]

Thank you for this video,

[@lcirocco]

Nice one Cal, overview of deep life stack along with succinct points on how addiction relates to psychic pain relief. This episode is a gold nugget in a (small) mound of tailings. Can we call the initiating rituals a set of "Context Conditioned Centering^ Checklists" for either deep work or the categorised shallow work that you describe in the section at 42:36. I guess the only thing that I might have missed in your podcasts is how to manage in moments requiring triage, moments to weeks of acute tailspin or chaos, like with deadline in a day, illness etc. maybe a question for a subsequent volume(s)? ^ "Centering" is a term I recently learned from an app called "Clarity" from the ppl that have developed "The Fabulous" app.

[@bluebellbeatnik4945]

I'm addicted to chocolate croissants from pret a manger. Help me.

[@jcastro91235]

My dad thank God has been sober for 28 years by going to AA 🙏🙏🙏

[@engineeringmadeasy]

It would be great if any listener can mention in the comment box which books Cal mentioned during the podcast. Cheers. :)

[@rid.h.tom.4296]

Important topic for sure.

[@ronaldbennett1655]

As a former donor to NPR, I can agree with Twitter or X, it may not have a line, but there establish definition, but it is definitely indicative of the way NPR has behaved over the last decade.

[@mostafakhamis5204]

Amazing!

[@cristianstoica4544]

That tech or distraction needs to earn its keep to be allowed in one's life is key. Indeed we can't keep all the junk around us just because we will need it someday

[@xeioex]

4:19 Not Harari, but Hari

[@notthatJules1]

Did anyone else feel like the newsletter that came today 'On Disruption and Distraction' seemed like a different voice than Cal? I'm a long time reader/listenener, love his content and feel his style of writing is unique, this just felt different, like a generic self help article. Not trying to create discord, but if that's the case, I hope he sees this.

[@andreayaya]

I noticed it too. I thought perhaps he was tired or pressed for time. The article was still solid but it lacked his usual pristine clarity somehow. Or even his sardonic wit. Maybe he wanted to see if anyone noticed if he used AI as an experiment! heh heh

[@notthatJules1]

I also wondered if he tried using AI as an experiment. Good to know I wasn’t the only one who noticed. It did lack his usual succinct clarity and wit.

[@muhammadenamul5487]

Just wondering, you have read so many books, Have you read the Quran?

[@ascensionbias7528]

NPR ,,is" negligible.

[@MildredWilsonArtist]

Thanks, guys! It is Johann Hari but you guys sound like you are saying Yuval Harari whom is awful! Just saying.

[@ricksanborn6629]

Why is Yuval Harari just awful?

[@MildredWilsonArtist]

@@ricksanborn6629 He is a promoter of Transhumanism.

[@MildredWilsonArtist]

@@Eddiearch @ricksanborn6629 He is a promoter of Transhumanism. In other words, he hates humans. He works for the nasty WEF.

[@bonitapersona]

It's just her opinion, mine is that Harari is great and interesting even if I disagree in half of his points, I love that people like him are famous and engaging deep discussions about modern topics.

[@MildredWilsonArtist]

@@Eddiearch oh no, don't worry. I don't come to KZbin or to Carl's channel to "alienate" anybody. You do you and anybody who promotes AI, ChatGPT as means to "operate better" in life... or transhumanism "to make you invincible". It's a "free" matrix. Go ahead.

[@waldek32]

Too many ads ...very distracting and leaving residue of 45 minutes on average...so I can't digest the content of yours