natural hair is UGLY | the RISE and FALL of the natural hair community | Camryn Elyse

[@CamrynElyse]

what is your take on the way the black community views natural hair? how do you wear your hair? do you think that informs your opinion? don't forget to subscribe for more content like this! i love you all! let's grow the family to 25k subscribers❤

[@starburst740]

for the black community its like...its only acceptable sometimes (usually if its looser) and bro the amount of dudes that have told me I have "nigga hair" is just wild like theirs isn't the same. i wear my hair natural i don't really straighten it that much and I've only worn weave like 3 times. i love my hair but its weird how we shame each other for it

[@curlynella1011]

I follow a lot of naturals and the majority of us wear our natural hair most of the time. I do. I don't do weaves, wigs or braids. I have always been like that even though I tried twists and braids once. In real life, most black women still wear weaves and wigs the majority of the time but still yell they are natural. But you never see their real hair. This lets you know they aren't really comfortable with their hair. That's why before the relaxers became popular, I knew it was coming back again. Before the cancer lawsuits from relaxers, I was like people can go back to relaxers and I will stay natural regardless of the trend. But now with it all over the news and online and women are still going back to relaxers, I'm lost. If cancer doesn't scare you, nothing will.

[@Kingofthenet2]

I believe there is a lot work of to do with the way Afro hair is viewed as it can still be negative sometimes. There is more progress than in the beginning which is great. I think you touched on many different things that are valid. Afro textures should be normalised and not crapped on like it is now. I wear my hear in stretched styles ,(buns, twists, blowouts, braids), those methods are lost convenient for me. I believe natural hair shouldn’t be policed for anyone because everyone is different. I believe that’s how my view is shaped. Everyone needs to do what works for them to get by on a daily basis

[@Amanda-vx1ut]

This was a great video with so much truth. I was thinking 'she is COOKING!' SUBBED! Once KZbin became commercialised, the natural hair movement stopped promoting the love of actual natural hair. Relaxers and perms have been replaced with (straight) wigs and hairstyles using the latest drugstore haircare releases to mimic type 3 hair. I have always been natural and wore cornrows and afros before the movement. Headscarves have become part of my identity over the past 8 years, so my hair is usually under wraps. But I will not hesitate to wear my hair naturally to a special event. My parents and family definitely informed my opinion about my hair. If my mum had relaxed my hair or wore wigs/ weaves herself when I was a child, I would probably do the same as an adult. My dad's attitude towards blackness also made me embrace my hair as part of my identity

[@bluealize1]

You are again very brave for addressing this topic. There is a lot of truth in what you said but there will be push back greatly because many women refuse to do the self analysis and critique you did. It takes a different level of honesty to admit that some biases were internalized and therefore have clouded the self viewpoint of beauty. It seems the only area where women can understand this concept is with skin bleaching but somehow miss the correlation , point and similarities when it comes to hair texture. They can see that skin bleaching is internalized conditioned hatred but don’t see it when a majority of a group of women consistently choose to wear a hair texture opposite their own. Then it becomes a fashion choice. At the end of the day do what you want…. But at least own up to why you do it. Just an opinion. But on the whole beautiful video essay…. Both this one and your previous video on this topic.

[@sxt4447]

I don’t actually believe the “natural hair movement” failed. I just think we underestimate how taboo it was pre-2010s to have natural hair at all. No one I knew wore their natural hair out. They either got a blow out, had braids/twists, or wore weaves. Now, I see so many Black girls in every city I live rocking their natural hair. There are so many channels still teaching the girls how to take care of our hair, how to diy healthy hair products at home, how to do your own protective styles, etc. Making this accessible to Black girls everywhere via the internet. That’s huge. Is there still work to be done? Yes, of course. We’re talking about centuries of trauma and oppression and policing surrounding Black women’s hair. But there’s been plenty of progress and that should be celebrated. We have to keep tearing down negative stereotypes and stigmas and keep promoting self-care and love within our community so no one feels as though they can’t wear their natural hair out and proud!

[@brittneyharmon6647]

I think the young generation will be a lot better with wearing their natural hair because it will be healthy and long by the time their in middle/highschool when you’re really just trying to fit in. Mothers that are having children now know how to take care of their kids hair and aren’t just putting relaxers in it at 7 like our mothers did

[@elizabethkabuin5299]

@@brittneyharmon6647YES!! I work for a retail pharmacy in a young city with lots of families. Let me tell you!! So many black moms are allowing their kids to be natural and their hair is soooo long. Every time I see a young black girl with her 4c hair out it honestly brings tears to my eyes because I know she will grow up loving her hair and truly be grateful for everything her mom is doing. I really think the movement did it’s thing because I see natural hair out all the time and it encourages me sooo much.

[@CamrynElyse]

ohh this is a good take!!! i love it❤️

[@shamidkpzd]

Yeah, I knew like 2 girls in school who didn't have relaxed hair growing up. I never saw any of my aunts, cousins, grandmas, anyone with natural hair. To be natural was an anomaly. I remember when I moved to NC to a mostly Black city and was SHOCKED to see so many natural hairstyles, this in like 2013. So there's definitely been a shift. However this shift of course has still been funneled through internalized anti-blackness as like you said, it's been centuries of oppression and policing and it's going to take a long time to get to a place where we all as a community can love and embrace our hair.

[@Kingofthenet2]

I agree entirely with your response

[@avocadotroll5750]

The idea that natural hair is seen as childish is extremely annoying. As a 16 year old who always wears a wash and go I have never seen a black woman and thought that she looked childish with natural hair and it really annoys me that other women could think that the hair that grows out of my head my WHOLE life is automatic childish. What I think causes this is because black communities only let children wear their natural hair regularly, excluding special events which harms us later on, so many black people automatically associate natural hair with childhood.

[@avocadotroll5750]

I think that many black adults need to seriously consider how their own insecurity impacts kids and teenagers. I’ve had my natural hair commented on by full grown adults because I have type 4 hair and they can’t even fathom that I would want to wear my natural hair out. I’ve also had to deal with natural hair not being “good” enough for special occasions, pushed by again adults.

[@arie7687]

This is such a good point! Recently I’ve been interested in getting by natural hair done in a cornrow style and those styles are typically offered by Braider under children styles on the booking page.

[@Boxxxxxxxxx]

Natural hair is just playful. I think because it’s dynamic and bold it may come off as childish more so than conservative hairstyles. It tends to make people look younger as well. Which makes sense.

[@laer.393]

i agree, there are so many elegant and mature natural hairstyles and i’ve just never seen a black woman with natural hair and thought she looked childish. maybe youthful, but never juvenile. i feel like it’s a cop out for people who just don’t want to wear their hair natural.

[@dklee.01]

totally agree. i guess people think it’s “unprofessional” or “lazy” but they have NO fckn idea how much time and money goes into figuring out wtf to do with your hair every week

[@sarebear7777]

I think black women obsess over length because we're told we can't grow long hair. We're called bald headed when our hair is short. Having long hair is a badge of honor for black women.

[@Dreamer7est]

Exactly the reason when I was a teen I was afraid to wear it naturally. I literally burned my hair from straightening it too much. I gained an appreciation when I had to do the big chop. My hair is down my back again when straight. The ironic thing is that people give me more compliments while curly.

[@kathleenking47]

For most women.. actually

[@Debbs207]

@@kathleenking47 Thank you! Black women are women. Search "hair growth oil" and you'll see lots of Indian women showing their hair oil recipes. I always hear white women complain that their stylist cut too much hair. Black women are actually more likely than other women to wear a fade

[@j.monica8794]

Basically people are only fine with 4c texture if it's long unfortunately

[@stephaniepink9060]

The Holy Bible state Woman’s Hair is her Glory!!

[@Jxxxbm]

The fact that relaxers are back is shocking 🙃

[@CamrynElyse]

it’s very interesting to say the least👀

[@curlynella1011]

I wasn't surprised until I saw all these lawsuits about relaxers causing cancer and still hearing people say they don't care and proceeding to do it. If cancer doesn't scare you, I don't know what will.

[@sagittariusbeauty]

@@curlynella1011Getting a bald spot or loosing all their hair will

[@Jxxxbm]

I don’t know what is going to take for these people to listen why should black women go through so much pain just to get their hair straight from chemicals all because natural hair is “too much” it’s giving lazy and anti blk

[@nickydaley345]

Relaxers returning is the least shocking thing...I knew they would return because a lot of black women don't enjoy their natural hair. It was only a matter of time.

[@djdeuce00]

As a black man I’ve definitely grew up hearing the “good hair” vs “bad hair” discussion mostly from black women in my family. It’s interesting how both black men and women show self hate in different, yet still very destructive ways. I have always loved black women’s natural hair as I’ve always thought other races have boring hair when we have the most dynamic and unique hair that naturally grows so beautifully, defies gravity, etc. Any man that does not appreciate how God made you does not deserve you. Don’t waste your time listening to those fools bec there are plenty of us who love you the way you are

[@CamrynElyse]

agreed.

[@amethyste684]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@Kingofthenet2]

We appreciate you a lot sir, God bless you 🙏🏾

[@demitrimurray6474]

Period!! We need more Kings like you!

[@卄-s5f]

True, I know PLENTY of BM who feel the same way. I think its really the majority of Women who struggle with their natural hair. Its 70% about the convenience and 30% the brainwashed beauty standards. It used to be the reverse though, it was cultural to hide the kinky coils.

[@Obatala_Vibez]

I was in the club in Birmingham England UK. I was wearing my natural hair and a man came up to me and said I’m lucky my natural hair looks good, not a lot of black girls can get away with it… that was from a black man

[@lolololololollol4793]

im not surprised. when i was a work a black man told his white white "kunte kente" referring to my hair and she told him he needs to stop because it was inappropriate. I just pretended I didn't hear him. He was bald too

[@beautifullykayla]

@@lolololololollol4793not a white woman having to correct her black man smh

[@Aquarian231990]

No that was from a dusty smh 😪 🤦🏽

[@bunnywavyxx9524]

@@lolololololollol4793 Don't ignore it next time. At least black woman's go-to for yearning whiteness isn't to marry the 1st white they see. Dating apps show that in regards to black women being approached, black men dislike natural hair so much on black women that it leaves a vacuum for white men. Of course it was from a black male. They are just diet racists.

[@laer.393]

blackistan is our biggest critic as black women🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@marajones1828]

I just want everyone to know that adult insecurities about their natural hair trickles down to kids!!! I’m a teacher and the biggest thing kids get bullied about by their own black classmates, predominantly by the boys. It’s so sad how students are scared to go to school if their hair isn’t in braids or straightened/relaxed. That’s why as a teacher I wear my hair natural 90% of the time. Because when I looked around at the other black teachers I rarely saw natural hair. And whenever a student came to school in their natural hair, I PRAISED and CELEBRATED it! I made sure they knew how beautiful they are! And gradually I saw more students starting to embrace it and some would come up to me to touch my hair am mention how we have similar curls. I just want everyone to know that our insecurities become our children’s insecurities and just like how adult women are struggling to accept their hair, that self hatred is now rampant amongst the children.

[@briannalue7438]

Bless you!

[@koshieaddo7932]

Thank you for your service it's so important to teach the kids. Wish I had a teacher like you back then

[@beigenegress2979]

The town where I live has an ordinance that school kids can’t be in the library until school gets out at 2pm without some kind of excuse/documentation. The reason is truancy. I was in the library one morning and a father was explaining the staff that is middle school son had been suspended and had to perform an assignment researching BW hair. The reason for his suspension? Bullying a Blk girl about her hair. After that experience, I heard from BW who are teachers that actually, the grammar school boys are in on ridiculing Blk girls! So glad I do not have any kids! 😢

[@blackisacolor...3836]

Your comment reflected a part of my childhood. I remember teasing this girl in 3rd grade about her hair. She was mixed and had super thick and curly hair. I used to say “Blair Blair with the messed up hair”. This is 3rd grade mind you. There was nothing wrong with her hair. Strangely we ended up at the same college years later and we ran into each other. The first thing out of her mouth was about how I used to tease her about her hair. It stuck with her all those years. I was super apologetic because that in no way reflected who I was when I grew up. She was still very upset and I understood. I think just the sight of me brought back all those emotions she felt as a little girl so I just stood there and took it. And nobody in my family had a hair complex or ever made any negative remarks for me to pick up. It was just me being a ignorant little boy saying whatever to make the other kids laugh.

[@mamabear1237]

I praise my students as well when they have natural hair. I am east african and have never worn wigs, and it baffles me when west african kids in europe hide their natural hair.

[@ChocoLex]

The “braids is not a birthday hairstyle” convo on Twitter TRIGGERED ME SO BADLY. I do not wear wigs, weaves, sew ins etc. I have been interested but I never put energy into learning the ins and outs about weave. And I’m honestly scared to do so because of the horror stories I’ve heard. It can also be quite expensive when you want good quality hair PLUS installs aren’t cheap nowadays either. Anyways, I’ve gotten braids plenty of times for my birthday because I don’t wear wigs/weave. So needless to say, when the girlies on Twitter were claiming that braids are tacky, I was offended. To me, the conversation was full of mean girls projecting their own insecurities on others. Why does it matter if I or anybody else for that matter is wearing braids for their birthday?! The whole conversation was just weird.

[@iamgooberz]

Thats exactly what it is. Insecure little girls who need to heal.

[@bunnywavyxx9524]

BRAIDS is not a birthday hairstyle?? they're even resisting their centuries long go-to for BRAIDS?? Cant they just say white features are better and leave it? This is crazy. Black twitter, AKA Blackistan, is a septic tank.

[@Criticalnin]

@@bunnywavyxx9524they would never say that out loud cause doing so would be admitting that they hate apart of themselves that comes from them being black. These are the girlies that go on all day on twitter about black girl power while also saying this kind of shit lol

[@Autonomous111]

I've been wearing braids every birthday since lmaooo!

[@4knewt505]

I'm 46 and I've braided my hair myself for 25 years. It's culture. I don't west wigs or sew ins, only braids or my hair out natural.

[@vmlksm9]

Most black ppl do not like 4b-4c hair. Which is what MOST black ppl have. And it’s almost taboo to even say that because blk ppl are quick & aggressive to bring up that ONE TRIBE in Africa with blonde or wavy hair 🙄 The truth is that all of this Pro Black stuff in the black community is largely performative. I have very defined 4A hair & I can’t even begin to tell you how many black women tell me “If my hair curled like yours then I would go natural” A lot of Black men only like me because of my hair. Plus I’m a dark skin & un ambiguous. I guarantee if I was light skin or ambiguous looking most black ppl wouldn’t think twice about my hair. Whenever I’m in a room full of black ppl, the texture of my hair always becomes a topic of discussion at some point. It never fails. While I do like compliments, I know where most of these “compliments” stem from when they come from most black ppl regarding my hair. It’s so F’d up. I do not take the black community seriously anymore.

[@vmlksm9]

Further more, BW’s favorite excuse for wearing weave/wigs is “switching it up” Though they only switch it up between Brazilian & Indian 😂 If most BW had natural 2A -3B hair most wouldn’t ever wear fake hair. They would be truly happy with their hair & would never feel the need to “switch it up”

[@angelac2228]

Agree

[@laurendaley7981]

Whew! you just said a word sis. We definitely just do a lot of talking and showboating.

[@shirley444]

I agree. I have fallen back on black causes for this same reason. Get mad when non black people discriminate against our white but then turn around say texturist shit like ‘perm your hair’ ‘you look better with a wig’ etc black people lack an understanding of intersectionality

[@luhnonato3]

im a brazillian white woman with curly hair and growing up i remember being so envious of my mom and my 2 sisters hairs, I will be forever grateful for the black/natural hair comunity for helping me to know how to take care for my hair, its something that i would never know if it wasnt the online community

[@lovelyPink464]

❤️❤️❤️

[@Britta_no_filter]

💝

[@kylia2009]

As Black people we put way too much energy into hair.. it's embarrassing that the Black hair industry is a billion dollar industry and Black people aren't even the ones profiting

[@Grinchthanksgiving]

Ummm that’s because we have to. Taking care of black hair requires more time and effort than taking care of straight hair. So it literally requires more energy. That’s why more women opt out and wear wigs and weave, it’s way easier to take care of.

[@rose-gl4io]

​​@@Grinchthanksgivingexactly, we don't really have a choice. Curly hair generally isn't very low maintenance

[@ctibaga]

I agree. It shows we also are capable of being superficial. I keep it short for a reason.

[@kathleenking47]

We were, UNTIL Asians started selling their hair

[@loissisterinchrist8863]

Excellent point! Especially if a black person needs to prepare for a college education, retirement, home ownership, etc

[@TheMspoodle2]

How can people be embarrassed to wear their natural hair and not be embarrassed of wearing a wig with straight strands? I would be beyond embarrassed to wear a wig.

[@Ravioli-uw9uy]

Some people have hair issues and can't wear their natural hair or don't have the knowledge to manage their hair. It's a lot deeper than that. You sound like a shallow person hating on people who wear wigs. Keep putting energy like that out and you're the one who's going to need a wig.

[@curlynella1011]

Especially the ones that look wiggy. I rarely see ones that look good 💯 Even in pictures, they put all these filters to hide certain imperfections but in person it's giving Barbie.

[@yougotgamesonyourphone6947]

Nobody can ever convince me to wear one of them 20 inch buss down part wig. Some of them do not look good offline.

[@vegannn7178]

@@yougotgamesonyourphone6947Facts, it be looking a stankin silky mess😂

[@Kingofthenet2]

As someone who used to wear wigs a lot, I totally get your pint. If I do wear wigs, I go for a kinky texture or Bob

[@vmlksm9]

I’m convinced ALOT of black women have some sort of body dysmorphia. Between these shiny lace fronts, Pringle mustache edges, Snuffleupagus eye lashes, & 2016 contour/makeup. There’s no way a logical person in the right state of mind would look in the mirror & think they look good…I also noticed the darker the woman gets the worse it gets. Like they’re trying to over compensate for something. I was looking for natural looking make up tutorials on TikTok & I couldn’t find ONE black woman who didn’t contour her nose 😵‍💫 I don’t think this has anything to do with racism or internalized white supremacy. This has everything to do with Black Women trying to look like Black Men’s preferences. This is why when you see BW with other races of men they usually don’t look like the BW who do date primarily BM. It’s so obvious & telling.

[@honestlyamara]

hey girl! I have natural looking tutorials!!

[@khanyamonii5312]

💯

[@dahlia1295]

That's so true, I feel like a lot of black women have been told that they are not feminine enough. So they tend to exaggerate with the makeup, wigs and the overly sexual clothes. It's just so much that it makes them look masculine or trans because women generally don't need all that to prove their femininity. But one of the biggest problem with us as a collective it's that we don't want to listen et face the problems. Everybody just want to keep deflecting and self loath... 😭 (BTW english isn't my 1st language so sorry for the potential mistakes.)

[@yayuuhhh]

"Pringle mustache edges, Snuffleupagus eye lashes" omg 🤣😂

[@idontwantacupcake241]

Do you mean the BW dating other races usually don’t have the “dramatic” (for lack of a better word 😬) look? Curious because this is a pattern I’m pretty sure I’ve noticed too but was convinced it was all in my head 💀. BW who date other races and BW who date only BM usually have different vibes/looks (not saying there’s anything wrong with either).

[@_KayBee_]

I don’t participate in the policing of Black women’s hair. However you choose to exist in a world that is constructed against you is your business. It’s truly a lose, lose so do whatever makes you happy.

[@happycamper91up71]

A lose ,lose is correct. The few who succeed with natural or relaxed hair are the few chosen in my opinion

[@mariejane1567]

next we'll be bleaching our skin.....

[@iamgooberz]

@@mariejane1567 exactly. Lets normalize self hate

[@PrincessYonna1]

Black women wearing natural textured wigs is different but wearing a Asian woman’s hair on your head 365 days is definitely insecurities that needs to stop being normalized.

[@_KayBee_]

@@PrincessYonna1 Your comment is why I don’t police how Black women wear their hair. The relationship with Black people and their hair goes beyond insecurities. Indoctrination and brainwashing has done a number on Black people and their identity. Even with the amount of resources and knowledge we have now, unlearning anti-Blackness is constant work.

[@SimplyAliyahNicole]

Ladies just choose not to care. I decided my hair is not going to dictate my life and its changed my life. I wear mini twist 90% of the time and it made me really love my hair because I spend 3+ hours putting love into it. I wear mini twist everywhere. The club, parties, dinner and I don't care. The right man will love and appreciate who you are naturally. I now feel like I don't look good with straight hair and I also don't consume content with women who have straight hair. My dad raised me to love my hair and is very anti straight hair because its not how our hair naturally grows. It takes time to love yourself💕

[@gleeannsmith5232]

You made me smile. Thank you 💕

[@Forest__Dream]

I really like this comment. Thank you for actually being encouraging ❤

[@PrettyZ-qu6ws]

It’s a generational thing. I never had an issue with my hair until my family members and teachers made me feel bad about myself when my hair wasn’t “done” lmao. I’ve even had teachers talk to my mom about my hair not being done during parent teacher conference as if it had anything to do with my education 💀. This was coming from a dark skin women with a short permed pixie cut with blonde hair. She also would go on and on praising the pretty light skin girls in the class with perms and ive had another teacher do this as well praising the skinny lighting girls with nice hair when she was overweight light skin with a pixie cut blonde perm as well idk if they were projecting their own insecurities but not everyone should be a teacher 😂

[@lovelyPink464]

preach!! 👏🏾👏🏾 i was thinking this!

[@missfabidia]

Thank youuuuuuu ❤❤❤

[@abbyweststar]

i'm east asian and while society's mockery of "asian eyes" and the resulting self-hatred is nowhere to the same extent as that of black hair, i really relate to the struggle to embrace our natural features. especially that tiktok about wearing wigs and feeling like "you're not yourself" without them - i always feel insecure and extra worried about having slurs shouted at me when I don't have my eyeliner, mascara, lashes done (to make my eyes appear bigger and less stereotypically "asian") and honestly i am treated better when my eyes are done. and the texturism is also so similar to certain east asians being considered prettier for having rounder, less slitted, and generally bigger eyes. my own mother (who has rounder eyes than me) had frequently implied throughout my adolescence that i would be prettier if i had her eyes instead of my dad's more slitted eyes. i wish east asian women would speak out more about our self-hatred, but generally speaking conformity is key within EA cultures so it doesn't happen often. because of this, i have unexpectedly found solace within black women's online communities, and i'm so grateful for that. i hope all of us WOC can work through our internalised racism and accept ourselves for who we naturally are

[@rosacentifollia]

💙💙💙

[@cosmiccrush22]

yh for us it's our hair, for you guys its the eyes, face shape too am i right, as i only ever see small faced, oval, or round headed girls in the dramas, on tv, ect. we all have our differences, that's what makes us special in our own right, the ones that look more euro centric are idolised, lead in the dramas, lead in movies, get pushed to be the top in music ect, this goes on both sides, i noticed that, how funny, but its seriously damaging, to the rest of the women who have kinky hair, more typical ethic features, suffer and i dont see it changing anytime soon, plastic surgeons are making milllions of the backs of insecure women, meanwhile 9/10 surgeons are males? Hair industry makes millions of wigs n weaves, skin care beauty industry, making millions off women bleaching and lightening they got us right where they want us.

[@abbyweststar]

exactly! it's really frustrating and sad to feel like i'm accepted by neither others and people of my own race @@cosmiccrush22

[@abbyweststar]

and yeah about the cosmetics and surgery industry - i still have mixed feelings about makeup because i do enjoy it and i love making myself feel pretty but it's always the question of am i doing this because i want to or for the sake of conformity@@cosmiccrush22

[@lovelyPink464]

thank you for sharing ❤️

[@colouredgal]

It needs to be said that other black woman always police each others hair smh.

[@bluealize1]

Honest question: is it policing or is it held accountable? What would you say the difference is?

[@jumpdumppyy]

@@bluealize1to whom are we being held to account for though? At what point are we allowed to be our own people?

[@Kingofthenet2]

I agree entirely, people should do with their hair what they please

[@CamrynElyse]

we should definitely all do what we want lol, i just like talking about natural hair and the nuances behind the movement!! (although i do encourage natural hair because i think it’s liberating but you may not agree and that’s okay too!) ❤️

[@colouredgal]

@@bluealize1 lol accountable for what?

[@sherwood9917]

I went natural in 1998. I have never worn a wig or a weave. Wearing my natural hair makes me feel like my authentic self. The more you wear your hair, the more you realize how absolutely beautiful it is. My hair allows me to express my individuality and creativity. I would have it no other way.

[@FineNaturalHairROCKS]

Yes!! I wear my natural hair in either it's blown out state or its curly state all the time. I also wear wigs and weaves every now and then because I love length however I always veer on the side of natural - looking hair that matches my texture to avoid over-manipulation/heat training. I totally agree with you though, that natural hair becomes more and more beautiful to us, the more we wear it.

[@lovelyPink464]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@MenyonLynnae]

Tbh i think people care less if its long. As someone who has 3b/3C hair and has gotten the “good hair” comments 🤢🤢, when it was LONG it was LOVED. The moment i started cutting my hair/wearing it short, it was never complimented again. Texture stops mattering when its down your back. It all sucks. Just let people wear their hair how they want, as long as they keep negative vibes to themselves.

[@tatiturner]

As a 4c natural, i think something that isnt spoken about enough is the stress that comes with maintaining my hair. Like you said, the hair typing system is trash so there are 4c girlies with hair that grows down their back while some of us will wear mini twists for months, keep up with trims, and do all the treatments, but still end up with breakage, fairy knots and split ends that make even just maintaining and caring for our hair a never ending frustration. I've been natural for 15 years now, and while I'll go through phases of thinking I've got my regimen down, my hair has never seemed to really take off like some of the other textures no matter what I do to it. All that to say, it's not so much that I envy other textures because of how it looks, but I do feel like I have to have wayyy more time & patience with my hair to just have it even stay the same length, let alone grow. okay done ranting :) lol

[@chimichangas2200]

Same

[@crystalmonroe2621]

I feel this !!! 100%

[@Bv3276]

Then at that point it’s a vitamin deficiency, usually of b vitamins. If your hair or breaking off and sliding out, you need to top off your vitamins and look at your diet. Believe it or not, it’s not hard. Synergy has an amazing multivitamin and prenatal vitamin that works. I use Source Of Life Gold Plus Liquid Multivitamin. Add fenugreek oil and rosemary essential oil to your shampoo and conditioner, or pre poo. This is easy, we just see our hair break off and assume it’s our hair type, whole time we have bodies that need nutrients that we are not getting with the standard American diet. Don’t get me started on hormone balancing.

[@ginowin3762]

Your experience describes my hair exactly! I recently decided to loc my hair after trying to treat my loose hair for years with no luck. My hair breaks a TON so it never grew longer than bra strap length. I only wish I started my locs earlier 😭

[@rosemah]

I have 4c hair too and clove water helps with breakage. You can look up the different ways to prepare it on KZbin.

[@EarthQueen-1111]

I’m the wig wearer, but have recently started wearing my natural hair more often. There is nothing better than having hair that isn’t typical and/or common. I love having big fluffy type 4 hair.

[@CamrynElyse]

it’s the best🥹

[@EarthQueen-1111]

@@CamrynElyse I agree🥰🥰

[@PrincessYonna1]

Nothing is wrong with wigs, just buy ones that match your hair texture or is similar to it. I’ve purchased lots of headband wigs, hair clip ins, and wigs that have 4 type curls. I don’t really wear them though because I’m a braid or mini twist with extensions type of girl if I want to protective style .

[@sagba947]

Same my hair is so thick I love it

[@janereyrules1083]

I feel that it’s easier to be adamant on loving 4c hair when you have long and thick natural hair. Never saw a short and thin natural girl bragging about it… it’s definitely a journey to love what is growing on our head.

[@ReadyorNot811]

Facts

[@tylachad6102]

The thing that got me to stop wearing wigs is that I realized that other races of people NEVER cover their natural hair. They may add pieces to make it thicker, but they never completely hide it all the time. I wear braids mostly and leave it out in between braids. I’m okay with braids because it’s so cultural and so uniquely black. It’s a beautiful craft that takes so much time, patience, and love. My daughter’s hair is loc’d and it’s so easy to do. But I’ve NEVER put heat in her hair because if it were supposed to be straight, she would’ve been born with straight hair. It’s so sad watching young girls getting so excited to burn their strands off for straight hair. Especially when they never get that excited about their natural hair 😔

[@Boxxxxxxxxx]

Burning your strands off is a matter of how often you straighten it. I have something like 3C/3B hair and can straighten mine once a week/month and still maintain long healthy hair. However, I’ve worn my hair natural for the last few years and have more issues with it than I did when I would straighten it from time to time. Quit demonizing the iron. Just because your burned yours off doesn’t mean the rest of us do.

[@tylachad6102]

@@Boxxxxxxxxx no offense but that natural hair movement isn’t geared towards type 3 hair. You’re able to straighten your hair once a month because your hair is already looser and closer to more white hair textures. Once a month will get and keep your hair straightened. No one is ever looking at your hair as “bad hair” and ridiculing you for your curls. Idc what YOU do with your hair. If you enjoy burning your hair then let it burn. But you aren’t the demographic we’re referring to when talking about natural hair and the movement. EVERYONE has natural hair growing from their scalps, but in this particular movement, I’m solely and ONLY talking about “type 4” hair. Especially those of us with “4b/4c”. Go find a video you can relate to more so you don’t have to get aggressive in the comments 🥴

[@Patty-ys4pv]

Jewish women wear wigs. Other races wear wigs but you would not know, because you assume it is real.

[@bunnywavyxx9524]

@@Boxxxxxxxxx Cmon you still want Becky's straight hair and that's not what this video is geared to and encouraging so stop. You already have a standard hair type and still... this is why some black women are still missing the point. If all black women had type 3 hair they'd straighten it to death. All latin women I know straighten their hair to a crisp. You will never escape eurocentrism unless you fit it

[@monovatherealest]

other races definitely wear wigs, the only reason you think they don't is bc you immediately think that they shouldn't "have a reason to" (no matter if it's short, long, etc) bc they're non-black 🗿

[@lacasadelmango8712]

A space where I would feel uncomfortable wearing my natural hair or braids is a place I would not go, period.

[@LiyasLove]

Iktr

[@Criticalnin]

100% facts. Like I don’t get it. People crying about being denied jobs or a place in a space on the basis of their hair. why would you want to be there? people acting like black women need to wear fake straight hair only perpetuate the negative outlook on afro hair as a whole. They just aren’t saying it out loud. They want justification for their insecurity. Further more, I don’t see these people advocating for bleaching their skin so they get accepted/ so they can assimilate.

[@moonbaby222]

​@@Criticalninliterally like what job is so important that u need to feel ashamed about your hair, self respect is more important 😭

[@Kamone111]

In love my natural hair. Especially the waves I have in a bun, just takes a long time to wash and set. Not to mention all the molding and gelling up!

[@frenchgirl5878]

You don’t always have a choice.

[@Zee-nd6hc]

Tbh, I don’t care. Nowadays it’s damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

[@amateurastronomer9752]

A breakthrough moment for me when it came to accepting my hair texture was realizing that disliking one’s hair really has nothing to do with texture. Women from all races and textures are unsatisfied with their hair. It’s probably related to unrealistic beauty standards in general. But realizing that allowed me to separate my feelings of dissatisfaction with my hair at any given time from my hair texture itself. It’s easy to think if you had a certain type of hair that you’d be more satisfied with it but it’s probably not true.

[@TheZchristina97]

Yeah texture is just the beginning. Length, desnity and thickness are way more important. 4c hair is celebrated when it's long and thick. Straight hair is ashamed when it's short and thin.

[@Jordè1222]

I totally agree with both of you! I think thick and long type 4 hair is the supreme hair type. I have curly hair and it doesn't get compliments unless it is past my breast. The currier your hair is the longer it has to be to recieve praise.

[@cyberspace7208]

When you realize that girls cry over their hair regardless of texture.

[@acaraj]

Wow! Interesting point!

[@Lifeishard237]

Exactly! Nobody says a white woman hates herself if she doesn’t like her hair but if a black woman is insecure she hates being black?? Like make it make sense??

[@paula92111]

My mom told me she wanted me to straighten my hair for my wedding and I told her no. My man also wants me to keep it natural. Like this is my hair, this is me and I want to look like myself in my wedding day❤. Great video as always!

[@SirianStarBabe]

It's your hair, why she acting like she getting married? 😮

[@bubblegum_girl]

😢 istG it runs so deep. Glad to see you breaking the chain! I want to wish you every happiness for your wedding& marriage, may you both be so blessed xx

[@paula92111]

@@bubblegum_girl thank you so much💖 same to you

[@Jordè1222]

The tighter your hair texture is the longer it needs to be to get positive attention. My hair is curly and only receives compliments when it is longer than my bra strap. Also thickness plays a big role in how your hair is regarded and i think that is cross racial.

[@CaptainMorganne1227]

I agree but racism also comes into play when it comes to black hair with the "nappy" and "unprofessional" comments

[@lovelyPink464]

that makes a lot of sense for sure, there’s a general disregard for women having short hair due to it being deemed as “masculine” as referred to in the video- amongst all races & hair types. i even feel the need elongate my curls through braid outs because i prefer my hair to be longer than how it is with it’s wash&go shrinkage. so i think the societal pressure is mainly against women having short hair no matter what hair type you have

[@saffylew]

I wear a u part wig most days because I work in entertainment. When I tell you I pop that sucker on and 1 min later I’m ready to go. Why? Because I customised a wig that perfectly mics my natural hair pattern just slightly longer and thicker. For me, it’s a win because of the time I save and my hair is thriving in two big braids underneath. I still consider myself a natural as I care for my hair and rock a representation of natural hair but with a guaranteed “good hair day” every day!

[@CamrynElyse]

i love this!!

[@CamrynElyse]

i love this!!

[@Zeezeely]

I love this

[@Renee-pv2iz]

Natural hair is still viewed quite negatively by some, as it's clear that some act as if natural hair should be avoided at all costs

[@CamrynElyse]

yes, a LOT of people do…and you can tell by how they talk about it!!

[@warriorwinter2233]

A district .manager of mine. On wash and go bun up Sunday. She came in and told me to take it down. I cried a few weeks later and I'm a lightskin Sometimes tanned biracial who was gelled for the gods. I cannotttttttt imagine what people with hardier texture go through😢❤ I cannot.

[@jenniferavila2703]

Hair isn’t just hair. I love how you touched on the masculinization of black women with shorter natural hair. I also love how you mentioned how if you can put all that work into making a wig look good, you can put that work into your natural hair.

[@Aaliyahd2626]

Why do some of y’all care about what others do with they hair? I’m natural I’m wearing an Afro now and even when I do straighten my hair I don’t use perms/relaxer and even if some one does that’s their business and their choice.

[@CamrynElyse]

agreed!

[@Patty-ys4pv]

Black women are seen as a monolith. If many black women damage their hair. Society will say black women have damaged hair.

[@rarab22]

While I agree I think the concern comes from worrying about the next generation of little black girls...how they feel about themselves and what we teach them is acceptable or not based on how we navigate the world. It just sucks that almost every black girl will have to go through the self hatred of their own hair. We've normalized it which is sad.

[@Yawn54]

I care because I noticed BW who wear weave religiously, tend to be very critical and nasty to BW who wear their 4C hair. If you didn’t experience this, then great! But I’ve experienced it and seen it many times.

[@emmyl487]

I believe that the rise of the natural hair community online has definitely slowed down, but in real life I see more Black people wearing their hair in more natural styles. Microlocs and freeform locs are especially growing in popularity from my own observation.

[@lanax7922]

My therapist and i are currently working on the fact that a past sexual partner waking me up in the middle of the night to leave because my braids were “too itchy to cuddle with” does not mean i am ugly and unworthy of the intimacy other girls are generously afforded

[@CamrynElyse]

oh wow. that’s so sad. i’m so sorry. i hope you’re able to work through it with the help of your therapist and healing comes soon. your hair needs no validation, the fact that you were born with it is *the* ultimate stamp of approval❤️

[@Boxxxxxxxxx]

Did you have artificial hair in?

[@lanax7922]

@@Boxxxxxxxxx yes, i did have your standard beauty supply store braiding hair and was wearing a low pony at the scene of the crime

[@bunnywavyxx9524]

very sick and I bet it was a black man. He wouldve had no problem with thick tangled straight hair. That wasn't the real reason.

[@magnolia2]

You should make an “ick list” about that guy to help you heal from this painful trauma. Go all out writing everything you found gross about him. If you can’t think of anything think about how gross men can be. They don’t know how to wipe or wash their a$& properly, their attention to detail sucks, their weaponized incompetence, their evident lack of empathy, their musty sweaty arm pits, probably has holes in his socks, and he probably didn’t make you 0rgasm as fast as a smeggs toy can… FXCK THAT GUY!

[@tanyajames535]

I am 15 years old. As a young women growing up in this generation, i have been smart enough to realize that society today is pushing a narrative that women can only be successful base on their looks. when I go Instagram all I see is wigs and big booty girls twerking and all kind of toxic relationships. I also have 4c natural hair and have always been told that my hair is like "steal wool" and that really hurt my feelings. It hurt me so much that I started researching ways in which I could change my hair texture. I am also from the Caribbean where our hair tends to be more rough. Over the years, Pinterest have played a big part in helping me feel comfortable about myself, because when i search up 4c natural hair, I finally can see my pairs and man i love afro's !!! I am aspiring to become a tennis player, my dream is to win grand slams. I also want to have my own Skincare and haircare company, want to become an animal nutritionist and probably an actor and producer and start a foundation for persons who are in need. some days I feel like I can do it, but some days I feel like I can't. All these images on social media platforms have made me hate myself so much. but I learned to love my hair. I never wore wigs, but i can tell that i will hate them. I believe I will be more into sew-ins because as an aspiring athlete sweat will also be involved. and I know some of this is not based from the video, but i hope that you can see where I'm coming from with my message. xoxo - JJ

[@leathelion]

Goodluck on your business and tennis love ! I know you’ll be successful 🙏❤️

[@easygrl202]

Sis go for it all!!!

[@laer.393]

no matter what you do, you will be great and you will be successful. don’t get discouraged, remember social media is not real life. good luck on all of your goals🫶🏾!

[@838klhoeee7]

Hope Good will be with u and in your successful business !!

[@sosmybeautea]

The universe is your limit!! Go beyond

[@NikkijBerryman]

In addition to self hatred, I find the rise and fall and rise again in the natural hair community to be steeped in capitalism. The product cycles, buyouts, marketing and influencing has created an environment wherein women can never be fully satisfied with their hair because they are too busy following a “trend,” creating and buying a product in the effort to remain or stay relevant and of course to make a coin. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn the parent companies of many of the natural hair care companies (no longer black owned) are paying women to relax their hair to promote relaxers. It wouldn’t be the first time we were manipulated by the media using our own people. This way, we damage our hair, risk cancer and then spend exorbitant amounts of money to ameliorate the consequences….just to come back to chopping off our hair and going natural again. Black women spend more money in this industry than any other people on the planet. We are being played and thus playing ourselves.

[@CamrynElyse]

oooh this is a good take!!

[@Patty-ys4pv]

Exactly.

[@queenmo1105]

I’m obsessed with my hair but I’ve seen people relax their kinky curly wigs and that’s when I knew we were doomed 🫤

[@Jazzy869]

Whaaaat 😂😂😂

[@katkammy9478]

Whaaat???

[@ReadyorNot811]

Lies

[@loissisterinchrist8863]

HaHaHa...I know it's not funny, but it's funny, sad

[@arie7687]

I’d love to wear my hair natural hair as it grows out of my scalp but if I do, I’ll be bullied for it or people look at me weird, people don’t treat me as nicely. So I mostly wear box braids because it’s a nice neutral ground. There’s natural hair that society has decided is appropriate and those women have the luxury of wearing their natural hair as is, like you. Then there are the rest of us who regardless of how we personally feel about hair, will be bullied into hiding our hair. “We” all don’t have the option to exist how we are in society. It’s not a matter of loving what we have, it’s about surviving in a world that has decided our hair is ugly.

[@Kirstyburst]

I wear my natural hair alot and literally work in a hair salon and this is so true ! It’s not necessarily I don’t love my hair it’s the negativity from others surrounding it, it gets tiring hearing it from people. Why can’t people just shutup if they don’t have something nice to say

[@CamrynElyse]

this is the conversation i wanna get into!! also, there are tons of misconceptions about my hair going around, so i want to urge you guys not to assume anything about my journey simply because i’m wearing a twist out with clip-in extensions in this video! (i can explain more about this by the way, if you’re interested)❤️

[@ladonna1902]

I'm sorry that you feel like you don't have the option to exist like you are in society. But you do. I learned in wearing my hair natural is that you have to have a very thick skin and not give a damn what other people think. Of course, I got snide remarks about my hair. But I clapped back. Because most of the people that criticized my natural had ate up edges, hair lines that were behind their ears, split ends, or were wearing busted wigs. When I was relaxed, my hair suffered damage and was breaking off. So I had to do what I had to do to get my hair back healthy again. If that meant letting the relaxers go and wearing my hair natural, then so be it. But being natural is something I had to do for me. Not for other people.

[@arie7687]

@@CamrynElyse so sorry! I shouldn’t have assumed! It looks really nice btw🙂

[@Lisette121]

Well said. That's exactly how I feel.

[@dopesthypocrit3622]

Ik a lot of young black women who are ashamed of the hair that grows out of their head because they’re so concerned with how other people perceive them. It’s hard to unlearn the things society has taught us but hopefully one day the whole community will unlearn to hate their hair

[@missynnifer]

The pandemic really showed me the beauty of my natural hair and honestly, I did have to get over the Idea that I couldn’t look grown and sexy with my type 4 hair but it’s all lies. The weird thing is I get way more compliments about my hair from everyone (including men) but less male attention. Men compliment my hair a lot but almost like ‘I’m proud you wear your natural hair’ not ‘ I’m attracted to you’ is that just me?

[@verao4726]

Nope, ik exactly what you mean. I've had 40s+ lookin black males on the street give me compliments in a "you go sista!" way a couple times. One guy even raised his fist in the air lolll

[@Akane1313]

I feel that way too. Like they’re glad you’re representing proud blackness but also you’re not their type. 🤔

[@TheMspoodle2]

Natural hair is so beautiful. I love wearing my natural hair out for special occasions when it's not in braids. I love showing how long my natural hair is and it's thickness. I don't like how my hair looks in a flatiron style.

[@themelanatedempress]

some of us simply do not like the hair that comes out our scalp and it’s sad. I actually wanted to make a TikTok to talk about this. I see so many black women on there downplaying other black women who have learned their hair and can grow/retain it well past their shoulder. They discredit our work and chalk it to genetics… but praise wigs being slayed that take hours and hours to do. The majority I see in public don’t look well. It’s weird af and it’s basically internalized racism. When I first went natural back in 2002 (before KZbin and all the knowledge and resources we have available today) it was mostly black women saying mean things to me. It wasn’t black men or white people that often. I want us to be released from this mental shackle.

[@shrimp-adoodle3444]

There’s a lot of people in my family that believe black natural hair should only ever be worn out if the texture is considered “good” to them. (“Their definition of good is something like your hair texture.) It’s always been hurtful to me especially because I’m never allowed to embrace what grows out of my head and it must be “locked away” for me to “look presentable”. Very great video.

[@atiamatic5095]

YES! Literally me and some of my siblings are mixed and my sister with tighter curls my grandma always says she can’t have her hair down/she needs it braided or covered and she always calls in “nappy” however she says me and my other sister has “good” hair. I get so irritated for my little sister I hate that people see her hair as ugly

[@TaylorMiree]

4c is my fave as well. I love the fact that it’s so versatile and can hold the shape and pattern of anything you’re trying to install 😭 @ 26:00 EXACTLY

[@warriorwinter2233]

My hair is kinky wavy straight and I wholeheartedly agree and love my hair just the same. Everyone needs to accept their hair as is. Only then will manipulation bow to your will the way you want it to. If that has been or ever becomes the goal.❤

[@scorpionoir4952]

It's definitely liberating to not have to worry about the state of how your hair appears to others. I've grown to love everything about my natural features and my hair. I've been on several hair journeys. I wore locs for 10 years and loved it and have been considering returning to the rocking locs. At the moment I'm loving my loose natural hair as I wear an afro and from time to time I'll get it braided.

[@poquitovibes9432]

While you all are getting relaxers I’m gunna be right here healthy enjoying my beautiful hair

[@Criticalnin]

Eventually they gonna ask how you got your hair so long. Heard it a few times.

[@cynthiaisenberg1029]

As an old white lady, I understand that my opinion doesn't matter, but I think black ladies' natural hair is so beautiful! There are so many creative ways to style. Love your channel ❤️

[@YochanaIrie_FineAppleStylez]

Personally, I’ve been natural my whole life in a family of people that had relaxed hair. So I was used to being the only one with natural hair at home and in school. So I believe people should be allowed to wear their hair however they please. If they want to be a straight natural then so be it(better than relaxed honestly) , if they want to be versatile then so be it. Honestly, I love when my clients want to come and try different styles. I believe life is too short to be scared to try things with your hair, if you want to. You shouldn’t be afraid of being shunned by your own community or experience discrimination for wearing your hair in its natural state. The natural hair movement was great for forcing other cultures to recognize that our hair doesn’t need to be slicked down or straight. It was great for making it “acceptable” to wear natural styles in formal environments. People will always have their views of our hair, but I love that so many people are confident wearing their hair (even if it’s not everyone).

[@CamrynElyse]

agreed. i just love the versatility, the fact that we have the *option* to do so many different things😊

[@Kingofthenet2]

I agree

[@godschosen1213]

Exactly, after highlighting my hair and having one side break off😒 if I want color a weave or wig will be got. When my hair was relaxed I stayed with Micro's anyway back in the day because I hate doing my own hair. I've been natural since 2013 and plan on going to a straight hair natural when I go back to work. I either twist, and wear a twist out or put straight backs in my hair and tie a scarf in a fancy way during the whole summer. Wigs or a weave in the colder months because then I don't need a hat.

[@YochanaIrie_FineAppleStylez]

@@godschosen1213 oh no!! Not one side! Well I’m glad you weren’t afraid to get into weave and wigs because I think they offer more versatility without the damage. But yeah being a straight natural can be beneficial and so much easier to manage.

[@roxannemapache826]

I remember the look of my peers faces when I had my hair pressed flat. I have 3B/C hair and immediately felt like my hair was ugly at 8th grade. I began perming my hair. And while it never became bone straight, it was wavy and got a better reaction than my natural curls. I now cut my entire head short and started over. No more relaxers. No more flat irons. I am learning to love myself.

[@ohshanana2397]

I remember seeing a video of this lady relaxing her TODDLER’s hair. It's sad how this cycle is still continuing. My mom had my hair relaxed when I was young and It took me forever to grow my hair to cut all the relaxed hair off. Why can't we just love ourselves? Me personally I love my hair. I don't care if I'm at a job interview, school, or wherever. Puffs, twists, afros, braids. And I have been contemplating getting locs. It's sad how some people hate the hair they were born with so much, to the point where they'd relax a babies hair. Just sad

[@TX-xq6dx]

I REALLY like how the young lady mentioned the connection between your hair and the rest of your features. 💯 spot on young lady. 👌🏾

[@iaishajohnson]

What’s sad is white women tell me they love my hair and compliment me all day and black women just stare me down or will quietly compliment me standing right behind me like they’re ashamed or embarrassed to say it. We don’t compliment each other enough like it’s taboo or something to up lift another woman. I will tell a woman her hair is beautiful if I think it’s beautiful. We should stand together ❤

[@kathleenking47]

White women curled their hair, for special occasions

[@juliekm6495]

I have natural hair and I will never go back to straightening of the hair!

[@DJ-ts5uv]

Your hair is gorgeous! 😍I’ve been natural for more than 10 years, and sometimes I just get tired. It’s a lot of work as my hair is waist length. I’m now thinking about locking it, but I just can’t commit. Whatever I do, I’m NEVER going back to relaxers. As a person who suffered from fibroids, had to have surgery , went through a very rough recovery, and was never able to have children, relaxers are the devil. I love my natural hair and I’m looking forward to the next phase in my natural hair journey.

[@Lexrozzell]

Thanks for posting this. I was about to buy another wig (a vpart wig) because I’m recently single and I’m trying to feel pretty and attractive and get back out there. I date interracially and I date black men, and even tho my hair is 3c I still get a ton of pushback from my hair, especially since it’s in a short afro form. I wasn’t feeling beautiful but after seeing your video, I realized that it’s stupid to try to attract people who don’t love the real me. And I need to love the real me 💯

[@Criticalnin]

If that is you in your pfp, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. It hurts me to see you think this way about yourself. Go where you are wanted and will be appreciated for all that is a part of you. trust me, you will not feel great being in a relationship like that especially when it comes time to take it off. Look at all these women settling for men that only want all the other traits of other races on them, or they have to look like an insta baddie 24/7 it’s always a mess and unfulfilling. You said it perfectly in your last sentence. I’m wishing you good luck!

[@Lexrozzell]

@@Criticalnin thank you so much for your words

[@trxphywaifalt]

As a darker skinned black girl with a white bf who’s dated interracially for years I’m telling you rn they really don’t care abt hair the way black males do. I was shocked but happy tbh

[@janereyrules1083]

Your hair is 3c and you’re light skin. You’re beautiful and people shaming you are just jealous. Don’t worry something good will turn up for you. Keep being true to yourself ❤

[@Str4b3rryyt]

So many stylists from our own community capitalize off of this insecurity. I have seen countless Black women cry and complain over the maltreatment and unprofessional treatment from stylists, but will still endure the abuse because the thought of wearing their natural hair is horrifying. While I can appreciate the polished looks that a well trained quality stylist can provide, not being able to find or afford one shouldn't be a defining, limiting, or life-altering ordeal that keeps you from enjoying life or attending functions. This hair thing is so obsessive and paralizing for Black women. Having learned to do my hair and being in my mid 40s, I care more about the health of my hair than the esthetic of it. I'm so happy to be free of my younger self; she used to spend her weekends waiting for or in a chair. Perhaps not giving so much power to our hair is the empowerment we need. We should be able to swim, exercise, and just do life without our hair being such a hindrance or barrier. There's peace in releasing this historical burden.

[@DivaBeryl]

Old school natural here - since 1996 working in corporate America. Back in those days, not only did I have to fight the notion that natural hair wasn’t unprofessional but I was criticized by the natural community when I got Sisterlocks in 1999. I agree that those type of locks appeared to embrace a Eurocentric aesthetic but it was ideal for me and it has been 25 years of locks. My hair freedom helped me advance in my career and saved me a lot of time and money.

[@lollylyndee]

I remember my scalp burning from relaxer minutes into it being on my hair and having the clench my jaw, even if I was crying cause it wasn't time to wash it out yet, having scabs on my scalp and my grandma telling to tell people that it was natural. Here I am now loving my 4c hair, mini twists are my go to style, I love wearing my fro out styling and doing it all myself~! ❤

[@biabia9181]

I wish black women were allowed to just be themselves with no discourse. I hate how some black women think the hair that grows out of their head is bad and something to keep constantly hidden or covered up. Not being the beauty standard takes a toll no other race or gender knows. We have to take our power back. Don’t fight in the Eurocentric beauty Olympics. Create your own lanes and rise to new heights. There’s a reason they are trying to take our culture and aesthetics nowadays.

[@briolivia]

I went natural before it was cute...and I will remain even with it going back "out of style"

[@TheZchristina97]

I'm so tired of this conversation getting reduced to "self hatred" and "personal choice." People literally get passed up for jobs/promotions, get worse service at stores and restaurants and get harassed by the police more when they have tightly coiled hair and they wear it loose or in locs. We live in a society that literally punishes us for the way hair grows out our heads. Can we please just leave Black women alone and let us do what we need to do to SURVIVE?

[@Criticalnin]

Sure, that happens to some, but to the majority? That is not the case. And furthermore, why would you want to work for a company that doesn’t view you as a black person as equal anyways just for your hair? To act like there is an inherent need for a all black woman to wear fake hair/hide their natural hair to get anywhere in life is honestly very telling of a more deeply rooted issue. Y’all are not only wearing these wigs to work then taking them off. You’re wearing them for majority of the days of the year and also sleeping with them on. It’s not protective either. (If by protective you mean hide, then sure) and please don’t bring up women with health conditions that are out of their control. Because they do not apply to this conversation. Many of you would rather assimilate to a standard that was meant to exclude than anything else. A lot of you also think subconsciously that your hair is not good enough which is why you do it anyways. It’s a very sad outlook to have, and perpetuate. So should black people also start bleaching their skin on mass scale now? Considering black people also get passed up from jobs simply for being dark skin. Actually, that happens more than being denied for natural hair does.

[@TheZchristina97]

@@Criticalnin I’m not talking about natural hair I’m talking about 4c hair and locs. And it happens enough that Congress literally had to sign a bill into LAW (the CROWN act) to discourage this kind of discrimination. But it still happens. A lot. You are either white or completely delusional if you think otherwise

[@TheZchristina97]

@@Clara-cp7oh yeah instead of putting energy into policing Black women, let’s create a community where Black women have wealth, fulfilling jobs, stable housing and incomes so that they don’t have to worry about their hair making the difference between a comfortable life and poverty.

[@TheZchristina97]

@@Criticalnin and also, colorism is real and is also a form of discrimination. But don’t be ignorant. Colorism and texturism/hair discrimination are two sides of the same coin. Dark skinned women with loose hair don’t face the same discrimination as dark skinned women with 4c hair. Bffr.

[@Criticalnin]

@@TheZchristina97 girl. Even with that act y’all STILL are not wearing your natural hair. And in states where that HASNT passed as yet, plenty of black women wear their hair. So explain that. You assume i’m white cause I’m calling out shit but no love. I’m black, living in a predominantly black country. You want to school me on colourism and texturism when I’m in the capital of it? I live in the Caribbean. That exists here more than ever. Kids can’t even wear their hair here as elaborate as y’all do in the states in schools. I’m not saying that discrimination towards afro hair doesn’t exist but to act like you are incapable of wearing the hair you were born with EVER is a choice. You CHOOSE to assimilate and CHOOSE attract those who only want you or think higher than you when you have traits that are not of your own. Y’all put more energy in crying about discrimination but yet you do nothing to actually fight against that discrimination because you yourself believe that those traits are superior to your own. So You perpetuate that negative outlook by sitting back and relaxing. People will view your hair as ugly so long as you act like it is ugly. Period. How come we never see y’all advocating and defending skin bleaching? You brought up colorism and more black people are denied for their skin colour over their hair, so what’s next? Dark skin women still face discrimination even with the loose hair cause their skin is dark do they not? Y’all love to bring colourism up, so again, what about skin bleaching? All I’m seeing is excuses excuses to get out of wearing your natural hair.

[@Pequenaerra]

I think that speaking from this place is kind of a privilege. Im only going off what i see in this video, but your hair doesn't seem to have shrinkage, dryness issues, heavy breakage, youve got extensive length and volume... i could honestly go on. Not to say that this topic doesn't have some validity, but i was blessed with the complete opposite. I didn’t get to have the option of being natural or not because it just doesn't work like that for me. It's either locs or wigs because my hair wont tolerate anything else. If black women go through a period of not wanting to be natural and not wanting to deal with doing their hair or even those girls who just get fustrated thinking about being natural then let them. It took me longer than most to get to a place of loving my hair and even then i still have days of irritation. Stop trying to police black women who express themselves differently or take a little longer to get to a place of self love.

[@CamrynElyse]

i completely agree with you and want to validate your feelings. i want everyone at some point to be able to love their hair because it’s a beautiful thing. (i told someone else in the comments a story about my sister and her natural hair journey that i was heavily involved in, you could go read it if you want or i could paste it here for your convenience) but i do wanna address a couple things first, in regards to my hair in this video. 1) my hair shrinks over 50% just like any other girl with healthy type 4 coils…i just rarely wear a wash n’ go because it doesn’t fit my lifestyle as well (i prefer a twist out [what you see here], which i can set under a hooded dryer and be guaranteed one weeks worth of wear without restyling) so i choose a style that does. 2) i dealt with dryness for a really long time before i learned to truly care for my hair…it’s caused a whole bunch of stuff, including heavy breakage, but my hair wasn’t able to grow past my collar bone for a while (like at least 2-3 years) my mom didn’t have my hair type (she’s always had silky loose coils, which i don’t have in the slightest) so she didn’t know how to teach me how to take care of it, i had to learn on my own and it was definitely trial and error. i wrestled with my hair for a long time and never wore it out because i was embarrassed of how it looked naturally. i didn’t like my texture. i also wore mini twists, blowdried, or a bun a lot back then because i was a competitive gymnast and trained 5 hours a day everyday after school but that’s a complete side story. long story short, once i felt like i had figure out the dryness issue, i caught heat damage from getting me hair pressed back to back for my first day of junior year in high school and a sweet sixteen i went to shortly after. i tried to ride out growing it out and dealing with the two textures for as long as humanly possible, but finally decided to big chop when i graduated high school. that left me with a twa and a whole lot of time to really learn to care for and love my hair. i went to my first year of college at a pwi like this. it was hard. i had to fight stigma because i was a black girl with short hair, but nonetheless, i was committed to figuring this thing out. i spent a lot of time and effort figuring out what truly work for me and once i did, i started training my hair (and don’t get me wrong, this was long and drawn out process with a lot of bad hair days in between) it took about 2 years i think to really get to a place where i felt like i could manage over my hair with minimal margin for error. never in this process was i wearing wigs at all because i couldn’t afford them or be bothered to learn to install them, especially given my rigorous school schedule AND learning to take care of my hair too. i mostly did knotless braids or marley twists if i wanted a break during this time. 3) i am definitely wearing clip ins in this video lol (like i said in the video, i am not opposed to wigs or extensions…i’ve worn both. i do like them to mimick my natural texture though, so that’s my only requirement) my natural hair does have a good bit of volume (even with a lower density) and has gotten pretty long by now though (which took 4 years of tlc), so i will give you that, but it’s nowhere near the length and volume of these clip ins, even when i stretch my roots with a blow dryer. i have videos on my channel where i have just my natural hair out, i believe the most recent is my individuality one. i also have a video where i’m sporting a wash n’ go in all its natural texture and shrinkage glory…it’s from last summer and it’s about pretty privilege i think. you definitely inspired me to make a natural hair journey video on my second channel because i get comments like these a lot, but i don’t think people realize that i had to go through it too, even though i may not have the tightest coils and my hair is longer now. the struggle was present and it still there some days!! but i will tell you, i have committed to taking this journey one step at a time and embracing whatever comes with it. my hair was also relaxed at a really young age because my mom didn’t know what to do with it. i have an older sister with silky loose coils like my mom and she was always coined as the one with the “good hair” so trust me when i say i get it. and i stand with you, whatever you wanna do or end up doing. hope this provides more context❤️

[@eggyvevo]

⁠​⁠@@CamrynElysefter taking the time to explain this, I just want to say thank you. I feel like I can resonate with your journey and feel less discouraged about mine. I was just thinking about this topic the other day. About how I went natural during high school yet never actually wear my natural hair out. I swear I don’t hate my hair and I get sob excited to see it whenever I take my hair down in preparation for the next style. But despite my excitement, I’m just always ready to hide it away for another month. For me, my natural hair beautiful but enough to wear out. And I don’t get super protective styles although it’s pretty. Protective styling my hair feels like a chore in a way. Idk, and my natural hair feels like a dirty secret that only I and my family know. I sometimes compare my protective styles to a Hijab. While Hijabi is rooted in religion, my protective style is rootedness texturism and classism.

[@TJ-uc8bb]

our hair texture is beautiful. God gave everyone the texture they are supposed to have, we need to embrace that! it's so versatile and just compliments our blk features the best! I pray for the day when every blk woman feels the same bc our hair is LIT!

[@blacksunlight2618]

I'm glad you brought up the topic of misgynoir amongst black men. Their very public derogatory commentary about black women just seems to have become more amplified and they seem to be egging each other on. They are euphemising their internalised racism and colourist attitudes by employing the discourse of 'preference', but they are not being adequately exposed or held to account for the damage it is causing to black women and the community as a whole. They are producing this of content showcasing these toxic attitudes and opinions on global public social platforms that millions of people of all other races can access and view. I feel like this is mainly a problem within the black diaspora in the west. Black African men are less likely to do this as they will be immediately shamed and ostracised by their communities. African societies are still very patriarchal but this manifests in other ways, but less likely in the form of self hatred. Africans are still very proud of their identities and even more loyal to the specific ethnicity they belong to. I am becoming more and more resentful of black men across the western diaspora and am now proactively diverting my gaze from them when I see them on the streets or in public spaces. What I resent even more is the fact that collectively as black women we are way more educated and economically empowered than they are, but for some strange reason they seem to believe they have the right to bully and sneer at us publicly to make us feel less than them and exacerbate the simultaneous gender and race discrimination we experience in white supremacist capitalist patriarchal societies in the west. The fact is they have become the foot soldiers of this very same system that has historically tried to eliminate the black race which was enacted through the system of blanqueamiento (whitenening) in Latin American societies for centuries. This system has now become self-managing so the overseers no longer need to make the effort themselves to do the dirty work themselves as black men are happily doing it on their behalf. Of course I do not advocate for the elimination of the black race, but without black women black men would not exist. It is a tragedy when the children we birth turn against us and join forces with the oppressors to negate the value of our presence on this earth. I do not have children and when I see what black women suffer and what black men have become it is a decision I don't regret. This issue needs to be analysed and explored more deeply and denounced by modern black feminist movements as it is a form of abuse that is violent and damaging and through its normalisation getting out of control.

[@blacksunlight2618]

Apologies for the typos, but the editor is not working for me and won't allow me to correct.

[@crazycatlady312]

This is so on point.

[@blacksunlight2618]

@@crazycatlady312 thank you for your solidarity ✊🏾🖤

[@elizabethdada4182]

You speak the truth!

[@blacksunlight2618]

@@elizabethdada4182 I really appreciate your solidarity. As black women wherever we are in the world, it's important to recognise our collective experience and support each other to stand strong. 🙏🏾🖤

[@whitleywilburn2999]

Personally natural hair is so tiring. For years I washed my long hair every week taking up a full day to need another full day for it to dry completely to then have to wait 3 days for it to sink into the style I set it to be. My hair is basically shaved now but it’s just tiring and way too unrealistic to think I’d ever go back to the four day wash day 3 day style rotation. I heavily researched styling methods and spent so much money on every product the natural gurus told me to use but it was still just so tiring and not aligned with my lifestyle. I don’t have time to give my hair so much of my life. I also don’t have the energy to be a political statement everyday. I think there’s a clear Eurocentric beauty problem with the natural hair community but there’s also a matter of how much time and energy natural hair demands.

[@Boxxxxxxxxx]

Damn right. It’s hellish.

[@vroxxzz]

I think we make our hair care more demanding than it needs to be. I used to have a s full wash day too with all these rules i followed like pre poo, wash in sections, detangle in sections and twist or braid each detangled section, condition then deep condition, finger detangle etc with all these products. Our hair doesn't really need this ritual. In more recent years, i simplified my routine and changed my expectations and my hair has never been easier to manage. Hard to manage really means I'm trying to make it do things it doesn't do naturally (think twist outs or braid outs that you have to retwist frequently for you to be happy with the results, trying to get high shine curls when my hair is a coarser rather than silkier texture, trying to get my style to always look 'long' by banding to prove it was in fact long hair). Instead I've grown to love what my hair does naturally - the little kinks and coils that it forms. So whether i stretch it out or wear it shrunken, i am at peace with the particular way my hair stretches or shrinks so I'm not surprised when the texture shines through. Yes, i can have a bouncy twistout or a super sleek blowout- but i understand when I'm doing this it will take work to maintain. And if i dont want the additional maintenance , i love and enjoy the beautiful and dense cloud of hair that crowns my head naturally, which takes very little maintenance (since I'm not trying to alter my texture) and a few minutes daily to groom to my desire

[@MsFlamingFlamer]

@@vroxxzz right! Back in the OG natural hair days I had like 10 steps and wash day was wash DAY. I’ve now simplified it to 5 steps and am now trying to see what just 3 steps can do. Goal is to get it under 15 minutes!

[@whitleywilburn2999]

@@vroxxzz glad you found a routine that works for you💕! It’s still a hard sell for me to go back to long, natural hair though. It was tiring but selfishly also quite boring. I like versatility and exploring different styles and sometimes the community makes me feel like that’s a crime. I dont always want my tight coils and I don’t want to feel like the way I manipulate my hair = self hate. I definitely stripped down my routine to be as simple as possible, but it was still extremely time consuming. Ironically the styles that accentuated my tight coils and “truly natural hair” took the longer than twistouts/braid outs/etc. kept my hair like that for so long cause my mom and other black women who admired my hair but it really never resonated with me.💇🏾‍♀️ Glad I’m doing what works best for me!

[@vroxxzz]

@@whitleywilburn2999 i agree that feeling like you can express yourself is important. And if changing things up frequently suits you best, that IS what you should do. To clarify my previous point, I DO NOT think manipulating hair = self-hate. They're separate things completely. My point was that sometimes we describe our hair as 'hard to manage' because expectations of what it should do and what it actually does are different. People with straight hair who feel they have to have a blowout because they're not happy with the volume otherwise, may consider their hair 'hard to manage' . Someone with wavy hair who feels they have to straighten it or is too frizzy for their taste, may also consider their hair 'hard to manage'. Realistic expectations make a world of difference- if i want my hair to do something that it doesn't do naturally, I have to also expect the time and effort to achieve that look. If i don't want to put in time and effort, then i work with what it does naturally. Neither of these approaches is better than the other- it's just a re-framing of expectations.

[@silentnight3970]

Well I tend to look to history and nature for inspiration and answers. We would not exist were it not for Africans in the first place and all that entails. Also African slaves would not have survived on those harsh plantations without that African strength. Others proved they couldn't handle slavery like dark-skinned, tightly coiled haired Africans did. Natural hair and strong West African features are a connection to your strong ancestors. Never forget where you came from and why nature made you the way it did.

[@Ohsnapitzann]

My favorite afro textured hairstyle are small braids, locs and twist these are easy to manage and style.

[@CamrynElyse]

mini twists are my fave❤️

[@XxPanicPickupxX]

this was an amazing video (as always)! For reference, my hair is "acceptable" bc it's more curly than coily, and right now it's purposefully super short. I've done alot of work unpacking my internalized antiblackness (i.e uninternalizing the "good hair" comments) ;and, chopping my hair and bleaching it was how I reminded myself that I am not just my hair. However, I went to work recently (and work predominantly with cis straight black men) and wore a wavy ponytail extension instead of my short curls and the way the energy changed??? like my boss looked at me, and said "arrows, arrows" (insinuating that cupid had shot arrows into him when he saw me). They kept muttering about it like I gained more attractiveness as a person bc of it and it was super infuriating and uncomfortable. Thank you for putting what I was feeling into words and I just wonder what harmful messages they're sending their own children about desirability🧖🏾‍♀️

[@CamrynElyse]

it takes much work, but it’s so worth it🥹

[@joimonae4090]

My thing is we always say non melanated people copy us but then I see them make a point to say we wear straight weave non black hair and I have nothing to say after that even Asian or other women of color can see us wearing their type of hair and again what do I have to say about that it’s true I just wish it would be more kinky weave That mimics the natural texture that most black people have instead

[@Niqueypoo21]

Hi, I usually respond to this commentary by saying black women wear straight textured wigs to assimilate. We have been socialized to view European hair texture as the standard of beauty. When Black women wear our natural hair, we are bullied and shamed into assimilation usually through straightening our hair or purchasing straight textured wigs. Women of other races can wear their own textures because their emulate the acceptable and preferred European standard. If Black women were allowed to exist as we are free from critique and discrimination, I'm sure we would gladly wear wigs textures that are more natural.

[@annayosie]

@@Niqueypoo21I mean what’s stopping y’all? There’s many kinky wigs out here in the making but then again it’s just manipulated straight hair anyone can make it

[@Niqueypoo21]

@@annayosie that brings me back to my previous point. If black women are shamed for Afro-textured hair, why would they then feel comfortable wearing Afro-textured wigs? I've found that the women who wear natural looking wigs are already naturals who desire a fuller or curlier look. Most Black women overwhelmingly wear European textured hair in order to assimilate and satisfy not only society's European beauty standards but Black mens fixation on them as well.

[@cierrakae]

I just stopped giving asf. You like it, cool. You don’t, cool. Cause I love it.

[@pharenecloristin]

When you have 4c hair, if its not short, lock or braided/twisted, it’s definitely unacceptable… the only type of hair that cant be itself without manipulation…

[@crazycatlady312]

I like my natural hair but the problem that I have with it is how unpredictable & time consuming it is 😩 I recently wore my natural hair on vacation and it was the worst vacation I've ever had in my life. Worrying and stressing about my hair everyday ruined it for me & it added about 2 hours to the time it took me to get ready everyday.

[@Zeighla]

I'm one of those people that gets jealous of people with what I view as easily manageable hair. I don't have a cute afro when I wash my hair. It just looks shrunken and uneven....even after fluffing/brushing it out. My hair is almost always in braids, but I really want to accept the hair that grows out of my hair. But I have very little confidence

[@rose-gl4io]

I could spend the entire day doing my hair and it will still turn out terrible. I have never been able to find a gel/edge control strong enough to slick my hair. Not only that but I feel as though my hair has been stagnant for so long. I cant be bothered doing my hair everytime I need to leave the house and still looking like rugrat so I just keep my hair I box braids as much as I can 🚶🏾‍♀️🚶🏾‍♀️🙄🙄

[@kiasmn]

Braids is still a natural style. Or, what about a natural texture wig

[@xrystal89]

And what’s really STUPID is when you have straight, relaxed hair and an event comes up….you curl your hair for the special occasion bc now just straight hair isn’t enough. Like wtf. Where did the hate for short hair on black women come from bc I’ve seen things from the 90s and a lot of the popular women rocked short hair at one point? (Halle, Nia, Jada, Toni, Monica, Mya)-so many people obsessed over these girlies-when did they stop?

[@SaraHinata]

I think you're missing one *_key_* element to why so many are going back to relaxers. Straight hair is *significantly* easier to manage, and this is coming from someone with a 3a/3b type of texture (you know, the _"good hair"_ that many want to have). My curly hair took so much time to manage and prep and style and then when I had my children I couldn't do it anymore. I have enough stress in my life that hair is just not one of them. I don't have to stress if today is going to be a _"good"_ hair day. Every day is good hair without a gazillion steps! And many women with afro hair are expressing the same thing. We are tired of the work, we want a break. That's it. Not all of it has to do with liking or not liking our hair. I love my curls, I just can't do that anymore.

[@Jazzy869]

I agree it seems like its less about self hate and more about being able to spend less time on hairstyles

[@icelynn919]

As a little black girl i have braids that are so long and its the biggest regret ever because now i feel like i dont need to care for my hair and its sad and its like i dont feel like myself with my natural hair but gladly i went natural for three months straight its a good start

[@mickeydemas]

The fact still remains that natural hair is more acceptable/admired by black people when you have ALOT of it, or the curls or waves are visible

[@tmb446622]

I always wanted long hair. I have been natural since 2012. I had twist, braids, Afros, ect. I loced my hair in 2016, now my hair is almost at my butt. Going natural was the best thing I ever did to my hair. Embrace your beautiful Black hair

[@KleanAsmr]

Honestly, it comes down to lifestyle and personal preference. It’s not ALWAYS about self hate. I had natural hair for over 10 years. I work on healthcare and constantly having to put my hair up was causing a lot of damage and breakage. I decided to relax for an easier lifestyle. I’ll never go back to natural again. Loved my natural hair. Did some cool styles. Looked good and sometimes I miss it. Still won’t go back. My relaxed hair is just easier for me to maintain. 😭🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Maria.Aurelia]

I wear my hair straight because it’s easier for me to do and maintain. Now that I’ve learned that heat actually doesn’t damage your hair and how to maintain it (I can recommend a few KZbinrs) my hair has been thriving. I have 3c/4a hair with parts that’s 3B. Sometimes I’ll wear extensions. I used to wear my hair natural especially as a teenager but it would never feel like me. I didn’t like any styles, nothing would work out. I’m the type where I like to wear my hair down. But yeah. *also to get braids done where I live is expensiveeee especially living in a big popular city in this economy* Everyone needs to do what works for them. Less judgement and more love. We are all on this journey figuring everything out ❤️

[@ReeMoni24]

I love my natural hair and believe we should all get to embrace and celebrate the unique beauty that God gave us. Unchain your mind and if you can’t do that, don’t hinder those who can.

[@mariaxii]

I thought that I was the only that found the snatching wigs and imitating black women (including mid 30s-40s) videos so annoying and overplayed. Everything I see one of these videos it just annoys me how they always mimic our hair and “stereotypes” around us. It is so frequently to the point where I see comments by other ethnicities saying that this “act” of black women is embarrassing, honestly this is so sad.

[@TrulyMademoizelle]

Side note, you look so pretty and your hair looks GREAT! Tho imma need BW to look into the way they fetishize wigs. And how MUCH more money is spent on wigs than natural hair care.

[@Syndersis]

i never understood why some BW say that natural hair is expensive/time consuming to do but wearing wigs are just as expensive and maintaining it is difficult too...

[@claudiaj7605]

@@Syndersissame. I never understood that either

[@_ami95]

This video was so well done! I recently started my loc journey after being natural for 10+ years, and have already had to wrestle with the lingering anti-blackness I didn’t even know I had. The one clip of the girl saying that hating our hair is generational trauma was SO real, and I’m glad we’re fighting against it!

[@KinkyFlowerCrown]

I always get compliments from white people about my 4c hair. Ever since I was a teen and started wearing it the white men became interested. Black people in my life have been luke warm with it. Some people love it and embrace it but don’t wear their own so Idk. Then some black people just regurgitate what others say without even considering my feelings. My sisters questioned if I was going to wear my TWA to the club and It offended me. I guess I didn’t consider that because I hardly ever go and I was already in a relationship. I wasn’t worried about anybody checking for me; however, in order to not embarrass them I got the urge to slap on a wig. I have dated interracially and if I can’t be myself with a handsome well to do brotha…then fck it. I would rather date and marry interracially than say “my name is Kodak black but when you see me i’m white.”

[@marajones1828]

I got a white boy on my roster and he LOVES my hair because it’s bouncy like my personality. My fiancé is white and he’s been with me since silk press hear damage to my big chop and now little fro and he loves whatever I do with my hair but he really loves my curls because of how happy and bubbly I get when I wear them. Being natural made me invisible to black men and loved by white men. And he treats me like a literal queen and is the best partner I ever had. We’re also both autistic so social standards just do not make sense to us.

[@Bunhun2]

Its strange, huh? I have a white boyfriend too. He really accepst every aspect of my hair. I love it. It really makes me feel save and i can be proud being myself... though its weird. I dont think every black man has an issue but for some reason it does look like they have..

[@laer.393]

@@marajones1828omg are you living my same life? haha, also dating a white guy who’s the sweetest and most romantic and compatible partner i’ve ever had and he doesn’t give a shit what styles i do with my hair, and always compliments my natural styles. he’s called me his little cloud lol. and we’re also both autistic too 😂😂 hilarious

[@ladyd8800]

Can you tell me what TWA means? Thanks!

[@Criticalnin]

Say it louder. Because black people, specifically women, in this comment section are trying to justify it all by saying apparently everyone hates black afro hair on black women so that’s why they need to wear wigs. The only ones perpetuating this nonsense is black people themselves cause some of them cannot break away from this outlook on their own black traits. They will rather shack up with a black men who hates their hair and wear a wig to attract them and not see anything wrong with that. I don’t know how. 100% of the bad things I’ve heard about afro hair in my life has always came from other black people. Even when online.

[@cscreative5460]

I definitely am guilty of thinking my natural hair looks childish and I don’t mean in a bad way. I just want to look my actual age not 14😅 I can even straighten my hair and it’s to my back but not on an everyday.

[@CamrynElyse]

yeah, i had to find a primary style that i love, works for me and my schedule, but also makes me look my age too. that’s why i wear my hair the way i do, but i will still try styles from time to time🥹❤️

[@ebonywatson9939]

I wear my fro unapologetically. I love my natural hair. Always have. I am working on getting all lil girls to love their hair the way it grows from their heads. It’s so funny how our hair has to be the only hair that’s talked about. They know our hair is beautiful, they just don’t want us to know that. Keep making content like this. We need it and I love it!!!❤❤❤❤❤ ty

[@ayadhyist]

We’ve come such a long way with how we view natural hair. Around a year ago I had no idea how to take care of it and hated my coils due to it. Now I’m treating it better and loving that my hair defies gravity.

[@indigenoustruthx4828]

Your hair is so beautiful. I can't wait to show off the crown my ancestors gave me. Gonna rock large fros, braids, and curls !!!!!

[@sarebear7777]

I agree with the girl talking about cognitive dissonance in black women and girls. I used to straighten my hair to death and HATED my natural hair. When I would take weave out I'd get so disappointed by my natural hair. Learning to love my natural hair has been a long process. 5 years in and I'm still learning. It's so ingrained in so many of us to hate our natural hair from such a young age. We attach ourselves to the weaves, wigs, and straightened hair that we can't connect with our natural hair. We have a hard time feeling good or like ourselves in our natural hair. It's sad. I hope we as black women continue to unlearn the hate that has been passed down for generations.

[@kathleenking47]

9:40 It could be why, they anglicized Queen Charlotte's picture? I've seen a picture of her She looked biracial black

[@IdkFoxii]

KINKY COILY CURLY WAVY STRAIGHT I don’t call it 4c it gives we’re last. MY HAIR IS KINKY & I love her wouldn’t change it for the world

[@CamrynElyse]

oooh hot take! i like it🤌🏾

[@Butterfly-yk9bw]

THIS OMG SAME! Ive been saying this bc the person that made the hairtyping system was a texturist and when ppl hear 4c they think short, dry unmanageable, and last .. ive always said my hair is coily not 4c

[@Patty-ys4pv]

Kinky actually has a negative connotation. There is nothing wrong with saying 4C. Wash your hair, moisturizer it comb it and leave it alone.

[@IdkFoxii]

@@Patty-ys4pv weird hating Europeans came up w 4c we didn’t and kinky only has that connotation bc of what we’ve made words to be regardless of u think that… my hair is kinky no one says that about someones name dick or Richard..? Kinky doesn’t actually mean frisky that’s just a new word for it just like tuff means that’s rough a feeling Situation or surface can be tough just all depending on how u use it and English isn’t the language u want to put ur faith in when it comes to words

[@IdkFoxii]

@@Patty-ys4pv and I don’t see where moisture and washing came from we’re talking about it being “last” and it not actually having a real meaning to it literally why would we call our hair 4c think about it

[@a.d.w8385]

Yeah. A lot of black women arent being honest with the natural hair convo. Even trying to make it something we dont talk about. I personally am committed to wearing my hair natural for life. The only extentions Ill use are for knotless box braids and twist. Other than that. Im sticking to the afro. And unpopular opinion. I think strait wigs with the baby hairs dont look good. I think we all look better with our natural hair. However, black women themselves dont like their hair. Especially if its type 4. We arent being honest in our community. The discrimination is not that deep for us to hide under strait wigs because we still wear braids. Its the kinky texture black women dont like and a lot of us arent bwing honest about it. But alas. We should have the freedom to do as we wish.

[@gizzycuteness]

I think the short or long hair debate is definitely due to the effect of being in a man’s world. Because of the society that we live in, the male gaze is most important and short hair is masculinized. Like, if you have short hair, you are also expected to do your make up all the time and have lashes and nails and dress more femininely.

[@athenawolf4467]

Shiiit I'll wear my puff for any and all events. I do not care. I have received so many side glances from fellow black women and comments saying, "When are you going to get your hair done?" One of my lil cousin whose 11 REFUSES to go out without blowdrying her hair or wearing faux locs because its "short" Smh. We need to bring love for natural hair of all shapes and sizes back

[@Criticalnin]

Exactly. Black people pbe perpetuating this the most then talking up in this comment section how “society” is the one who does allow us to wear our hair. And you aren’t allowed to speak on it for some reason. Anyways, Sorry you went through that. You’re right, we do need to bring the love back especially when people view wearing natural hair as a “trend”

[@anonymousgirl799]

I've always worn my hair natural. I get compliments from Whites, Blacks and other cultures. I can always wear it blown straight for a change, but nothing compares to my own hair. Have never worn a wig nor weave in my life. I don't care what people think, I care what I think.

[@PorshiaVonne]

I’m working on loving my hair. It’s dry and brittle and breaks off even when I moisturize it. Deep conditioning twice a week is helping. In my mind sill is prettier than cotton. Trying to change that mindset but it’s instilled in my brain. Joined the community 🥰 💜

[@PorshiaVonne]

Your hair is long and gorgeous 🌹 I don’t feel pretty with short fry hair but when I moisturize it I get made fun of for having “jerry curl juice” curl activator in my hair. But without moisturizers that have residue my hair makes the walking on dry grass sound when I touch it.

[@Purplegoddess777]

Oh man I've never heard "Silk is prettier than cotton" before! People are very creative with their rudeness! Even alluding to the higher value placed on silk versus cotton 🤨 We just need to protect our precious strands since they are fragile and delicate. When people preserve ancient art pieces they have to be very gentle when handling it, and our hair is the same. The ends are the oldest part and require even more care.

[@Forever_MeMe]

I personally think that people have been getting bashed on both spectrums of hairstyles by ALL types of people. People didn’t like you wore it natural, people didn’t like that you wore it straight, and now people getting on you for doing whatever it is you decide to with your hair lol at the end of the day, do exactly what you want. You can’t please everybody and even if you were close in pleasing everybody, you wouldn’t be able to please them all of the time.

[@briannaw716]

Ion think our hair is ugly its just hard to deal with

[@intentional-joy]

The time and effort one puts into gluing, braiding down, putting heat to, dyeing, and frying, could have equally been poured into learning and embracing your natural hair. I never get this argument…

[@Nancy-cx3qu]

@@intentional-joyamen

[@madebyme7590]

@@intentional-joy straighter hair is just easier to deal with. even if you style 4c hair, the next morning you’d still have to restyle it. With straight hair you can just brush and go. YOU know why you’re just in denial.

[@Patty-ys4pv]

It is not hard to deal with. A bun takes less than 10 minutes. You can cornrow your hair or twist it and you Don't have to even brush it for a week or two. Which race can cornrow their hair don't have to wash or comb it for 2 weeks? Black hair don't hold sweat and oils so we can go a bit longer without washing it. Y'all need to appreciate the uniqueness of type 4 hair.

[@jikookie1015]

@@Patty-ys4pvnot everyone has time to do all of that would prefer to one and done and out of the house some people are busy

[@rainhas.7095]

Brilliant video, you have definitely pulled together a lot of thoughts coherently. Thank you!

[@ICYY.SIDONNIE]

Love to see it my fav KZbinr!!! This video is straight facts!! I love my hair texture and I’m learning to take care of it everyday !!!

[@CamrynElyse]

the journey is so worth it! 🥹