Can I End My Relationship With Him Over The Phone?

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- Can I End My Relationship With Him Over The Phone

[@JonathonAslay]

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[@DeniseIreland-i1q]

Ladies you will recognize true, meaningful love when you find him!! Don't confuse superficially with real, meaningful love! God bless and pray and be strong!!

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@Tbn48ibp]

I had a guy once say to me “I would never cheat on you on purpose and another good one “I love you and I really mean it.” Red flags much ?? Lol

[@SherriFlemming]

​​​​​@@Tbn48ibp That's a banner to RUN if he announces it." On purpose." Another vague statement is " I'm not really a cheater" or " People will wonder why you're with me" Always pay attention to bad information that's revealed.

[@LisaGemini]

This is mixed signals! I had a friend like this 30 years ago and we were just really good friends. This is great advice, Jonathon. I finally sat down with the man and said: What do you want? Turns out he was asexual. I was hurt, sure, but we remained friends and spent a lot less time together. But once you get clarity on what YOU want, it should be clear and easy. Not long after this, I met the guy I married; he was my second husband for 15 years. Ladies, write a list, and figure out what you want! No one is going to do this for you. Protect your heart.

[@Tbn48ibp]

Amen Lisa. So so well said !!!

[@SherriFlemming]

Indeed Lisa. Criteria is essential. And understanding attachment styles. Attachment is fluid and fluctuates. Be firm on your goals and seek alignment. Ken Reid clinician is exemplary on attachment styles.

[@DeniseIreland-i1q]

When a man loves a woman, he is always there for you!! No excuses. God bless

[@JonathonAslay]

Indeed

[@osmosisjones4912]

Yet you complain about nice guy syndrome

[@kathyverrelli5170]

My friends tell me my mind tends to go out into left field. When you said he told you he took a 90 min bath instead of a shower, my first thought was who was his bath companion? A thoughtful man would have called you while the tub was filling up to say he may be a long while as he changed his mind and decided to do a long soak instead and will call you the next day so you can talk longer. He had time to call you before getting in the tub. He was inconsiderate. Move on.

[@DeniseIreland-i1q]

Don't remain friends; too much of a temptation to fall back into the quicksand! Call him, communicate and if it is mutual goals, then move forward with him. If he doesn't share the same goal, end it amicably. Blessings

[@DeniseIreland-i1q]

Better to let it go then to hold on to a fake fantasy. Blessings

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@robertduda6336]

Casual relationship casual breakup. She’s overthinking the process. There is no integration at this point. We’ve all been there with the magic fairy dust. It will happen organically if it is to be. Don’t force it and later feed the regret.

[@Sunlightsam24]

By contacting him to tell him you’re not accepting crumbs IS accepting crumbs…practice detachment here. When the urge arrises to contact him in any way, for any reason, find a distraction that works for you

[@Tbn48ibp]

Right on sister. I agree !! Very well said

[@SherriFlemming]

It's good to call them out. If it's not working for you, then you've got the power to end it. Beware of bare minimum men.

[@DeniseIreland-i1q]

You need closure!! Call him tonite, and verify what you want; if he doesn't want the same thing, end it!! It is a dead end road!!! Find someone else!!! Blessings

[@SherriFlemming]

I agree.

[@LyndaBustillos-dd8wd]

Your advice was spot on Jonathan! This lady knows this guy isn't into her and is dating around, but she is in denial. Which is why she won't break it off over the phone, as she is wishing that by seeing him, he may just try to stay together. She is more focused on defining his attachment style than his disinterest in her! This was a redundancy call/video.

[@stayitive4343]

'Let you know', is option talk without follow through to commited date, not priority, guy self centered about his world

[@DeniseIreland-i1q]

Jonathan is the best coach! Blessings

[@DeniseIreland-i1q]

Ask him if what you have is friends with benefits? It is superficial and temporary. It could lead to love, but very low chances. Blessings

[@DeniseIreland-i1q]

Ladies, TIME heals!! Replace him asap!! Blessings

[@JonathonAslay]

How soon?

[@SherriFlemming]

When they add no value, subtract. Time is valuable. Beware of bare minimum men.

[@Sunlightsam24]

Consistent Actions, NOT words!

[@Sunlightsam24]

Nooooo! That is avoidant behavior, but who knows (she’s more on the anxious side, that’s why she kept reaching out to him, imo) and/or he’s a complete dick and/or he’s not interested! There’s a danger in reading all these books then analyze others when we ourselves could use therapy lol

[@michellem8284]

They have horrible communication. He wants her to lead. She wants him to lead. And, I agree with Jonathon, she sounds avoidant to me! AND, what was that comment she made early in the conversation when she said she told him SHE needed two weeks of no contact because SHE had some things going on and then SHE got upset when he didn't reach out for the entire month of April. Why the heck did SHE need two weeks of no contact??? Why didn't she reach out to him after her two week hiatus? BTW, I give you a lot of credit, Jonathan ... you have tremendous patience! I wanted to SCREAM at the computer screen! LOL

[@SherriFlemming]

Attachment is fluid and fluctuates. Ken Reid clinician is exemplary on attachment styles. He could be juggling and not be honest about it. Call him out and be very direct what you want Beware of bare minimum men. Never doubt patterns

[@Tbn48ibp]

Don’t stew with this!! Go out with someone else. Have fun and forget this dude!! Not worth your time or stress.

[@DeniseIreland-i1q]

know this folks for those in pain, Jesus loves you!! Pray to Him!! God bless

[@lindym9450]

To be frank, she is wasting her time with this bloke. Over analyzing and fretting over breadcrumbs is keeping her stuck.

[@Tbn48ibp]

Don’t stew with this!! Go out with someone else. Have fun and forget this dude!! Not worth your time or stress.

[@cynthialeal2913]

I hope she closes the door and moves on❤

[@SherriFlemming]

Agree. Time is valuable.

[@NkentishasNtoshi]

Thank you Jonathan! You are truly honest to women. We accept te crap because we are ignorant.

[@gabriellewilliamson5810]

Excellent Jonathan I learned so much

[@JonathonAslay]

Thank you 😊

[@susancottenham]

🎉 Yes! Do it "over the phone".... sex once.... friendships are good ... "healthy... happy .... relationship.... you deserve better"! He isnt the only man in this World ☆ Great advice Jonathon!

[@EMuro-wu7uy]

With some of the help of Jonathan I have healed from some things and moving past the mourning stage of losing my spouse. I met a terrific man, we've been actively dating, spending time, and it's the first time I've dated a man with a grown child. This has been the best relationship I've ever had.

[@EMuro-wu7uy]

The sweetest part is this is not a guy I had not thought of in dating or a relationship. We started spending time together and found a lot in common, our lives are heading in the same direction. So comparability, shared values, are all a huge part. He's emotionally stable and available. We both enjoy so many similar things, and the friendship is strong, he's a little shy. But I find it endearing, we talk a lot, we did our own dating vows. So thank you Jonathan for putting out such valuable advice and valuable videos

[@SherriFlemming]

Glad to hear this! All the best. ❤️

[@janetcarrier313]

It's difficult to know what men are really up to, in their communications with women. Thank you Jonathan for bringing clarity to the fact that, if we do not want to be treated like an internet sex toy, we better be on our toes as to exactly what WE want from a relationship. That way the users and spenders get kicked to the curb much sooner. ❤

[@veganvintagegeek2.089]

I did recently, twice over text message to two different men who were emotionally unavailable. Remember beepers/pagers, they came with voice mail too. I broke up with a man over his beeper/pager voice mail, LOL.

[@gabbypage6929]

Why is she bothering. Its pretty clear cut he is not available.

[@rosiemac2538]

Spot on Jonothan ❤

[@dianedorney5147]

Oh myyyyy God....she likes intelligent people and she isn't one....and a guy that takes bubble baths alone comeon

[@MargaretCampbell583]

Hi Jonathon just saying hello haven’t been able to watch ❤️

[@marlengonzalez3689]

She sounds like she Is talking about the guy I was with for 2 years...lol. And, his bday is also in a month he will be 59. Lol

[@anajacobo4071]

Agree Johnathan I won't accept crums either I meet a guy and date for few months he never have the time to call me on the phone ... ridiculous..

[@gabriellewilliamson5810]

Such a great Lady Janelle saw so much for myself thank you

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@anikaray4192]

Jonathon thank you for this interview.I totally agree we can't diagnose or label and we all have different degrees of insecure or secure attachment that is why this is a spectrum.However I love how you called it, he is just not that into you. This is what happened to me I the last relationship experience, the guy was clearly breadcrumbing me, he was inconsistent in his behavior right after we got intimate.He was never that into me and the only reason why he stayed with me for over a year is because I allowed him to use me.I took full accountability after we split up, healed and learned so much about loving myself and my self-worth.I could say that we were in an anxious and avoidant dynamic because my attachment coach and therapist told me but either way he was not the right guy for me. This was great and I appreciated this person for sharing and your advice 🙏🧡

[@JonathonAslay]

My pleasure 🙏

[@dianedorney5147]

Jonathon you have the patience of a saint, hugs....❤

[@elizabethbanaszak4763]

Friend zone

[@tialynn1111]

Thanks 💕

[@sharonconroy4057]

Yep over the phone .....

[@SherriFlemming]

Indeed, a straight talk. If it's not working for you. "If you cannot give me what I want then someone else will."

[@Tbn48ibp]

To the lady that called in…listen to Jonathan. If you are not certain..there lies your answer ….

[@SherriFlemming]

Absolutely.

[@JoySpirit888]

God's blessings to all Amen 🍀🙏👼😇🖐️🙌

[@NkentishasNtoshi]

Thanks again for the education

[@JonathonAslay]

My pleasure!

[@chriscortez2884]

This is what happen to me similar way but opposite way

[@JonathonAslay]

What happened?

[@marinettecachin5931]

Great video great You have great insight Jonathon Yes , he is not into this relationship but keeps it stress a convenience to boost his ego , Am I right? Thank you for sharing

[@JonathonAslay]

Well said!

[@DeniseIreland-i1q]

Jonathan is brilliant when he advised Genell to call him. I think many of us related to Genell's experience. God bless you all! Remember, Jesus loves you the most!!

[@AestheticsbyPatricia]

Yes over the phone!

[@JonathonAslay]

Thank you

[@CarbiB]

I understand Janelle not wanting to walk away from a potential good relationship. I think once the word potential enters the conversation, you're turning red flags to green, as Jonathan says. In truth, she would likely not ever get better from him than what she's already experienced. He's leading with who he is. Like Maya says, it's up to her to believe it! Great insight and conversation, Jonathan. All the best to you, Janelle.

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@SherriFlemming]

Excellent advice Jonathon.

[@sophienguyen3768]

Question: I bought two tickets to a concert for me and a male friend ( we have no physical interest in each other). When estimating time to pick me up and allow time to get to the place, he knows a free parking lot that is 1.5 miles away. I said that will be in heels. He suggested that I wear tennis shoes to walk to the place, bring a backpack with my fancy shoes and change when we get there. It sounds to me that he doesn't want to pay for a paid parking lot near by, left alone a valet parking, or even drop me off at the hall first. Questions: - Is it possible that this guy doesn't know how to be a gentleman around a lady who invites him to a concert? - Or he is too cheap to offer to pay for a parking lot that I don't have to walk 1.5 miles in dress and heels? Any idea, anyone? I am in big shock

[@prince6a]

Cheapskate AND inconsiderate! YOU bought the tix and invited him! Dump.

[@JonathonAslay]

Just because a man is clueless doesn't make him a bad human being. I'm curious, could you pay for valet parking?

[@michellem8284]

I agree w/Jonathon, just tell him you will pay for parking. Done.

[@lee48lee68]

You bought tickets and he’s too cheap to pay for parking so he expects you to walk 1.5 miles? You also mentioned that you have no physical interest in each other. Is it too late to invite another friend? You’re making 100% of the effort and he wants you to take your heels off and walk 1.5 MILES! You deserve better and you know it.

[@JonathonAslay]

@@lee48lee68 How did he respond when you told him how you feel?

[@WandaYarbrough-mx3xf]

He's Just a buddy that's It

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes

[@marinettecachin5931]

Why getting married when you have been there At midlife You can still have a committed relationship without being married and still keep your houses and spend time together What’s your take on this Jonathon? Friends are into this type of relationship and it works..

[@JonathonAslay]

After my divorce, I did not want to get remarried. Now I want to... I want a life partner 🙏✨️💕

[@marinettecachin5931]

@@JonathonAslay I wish you to find the one who will meet your needs Jonathon . To the sunset of your life. That’s what I want too.

[@SherriFlemming]

Apartners: Living Apart James Sexton has excellent educational podcasts. Attachment is fluid and fluctuates. Ken Reid clinician is exemplary on attachment styles.

[@pennyisaacsen997]

This hit home

[@JonathonAslay]

How so?

[@patriciapage4625]

I agree Jonathan

[@elizabethbanaszak4763]

Thank you ❤

[@ninasarlo1880]

Try this title how to find a man with a good medical and dental plan !!

[@JonathonAslay]

👍🏼

[@SherriFlemming]

👍

[@chriscortez2884]

And made me feel nonworthy

[@bethbrown6155]

Wow.......

[@WandaYarbrough-mx3xf]

That's All It is

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes

[@Sunlightsam24]

Women talk talk talk, men don’t respond to that, especially because she almost never honors her threats lol

[@SherriFlemming]

Say what you mean and mean what you say. When someone shows you who they are the first time believe them.

[@elipotter369]

Think i heard this before . If i was in his position, I'd be annoyed if someone followed upa dinner invite with: "so i guess dinner is off"? And on the actual planned date night?! It's aggressive and off-putting. It's not just leaning back in so called feminine energy. It's not so called feminine to be so unkind. I'd be having a loong shower too! Any excuse to get space & put them off. I'd be more inclined to say: "hi is dinner still on? Hope you're okay :-)" if i liked them i guess. Or - just nothing and see what happened if i wasn't too interested and didn't care. And if sx was sub par, I'd probably be sweet and accepting unless i thought they were rude and pushy - because we're not always perfect! Clearly not a well suited couple.

[@JonathonAslay]

Agreed

[@SherriFlemming]

Too much cat and mouse. Ambiguous. Stand in your power and speak your truth without sugar coating anything.

[@Tom_in_CA]

Another question: Is it ok to simply ghost him?! If you’re looking for a hurtful, hateful way to part, I’m thinking this might be the way to go…especially if you want to maintain that reputation for cold-hearted, careless indifference 😮

[@Sunlightsam24]

Eh, it’s not that hurtful and hateful when he wasn’t into it to begin with…he didn’t think twice about standing her up multiple times. I would never initiate contact again

[@Tom_in_CA]

@@Sunlightsam24 my apologies, I was referring to a personal situation of my own…

[@SherriFlemming]

​​​@@Sunlightsam24 Hell, don't ever tolerate stood up. Once and close that door. You're teaching someone what you will tolerate. Rejection is protection.