Capitalism Hits Home: Toxic Masculinity - Pt 1

[S3 E08] Toxic Masculinity - Pt 1
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On this part 1 of 2, Dr. Fraad and Julianna Forlano discuss toxic masculinity and how the social and economic conditions of its existence have transformed. Testosterone fueled aggression and heft are no longer needed or wanted in the workplace or at home. Force comes in when equality and democracy threaten old privilege.
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[@DerekSpeareDSD]

Freud said something like this: "about ten percent of people will be cruel, ten percent will be merciful and the other eighty percent will go either way." Here in america the cruel ten percent are in charge, the other eighty percent are slavishly devoted to them and the ten percent of the merciful ones are left dejected and demoralized.

[@siljrath]

dejected and demoralized ☑ supposedly if it doesnt kill us, it makes us stronger. or maybe that's just a line said that excuses atrocity.

[@svetlanabarrow6026]

@@siljrath that is exactly how it is.

[@zofiajaneczek184]

Well said and that 80% are indifferent to the plight of anyone else but themselves. The attitude being, if it’s not happening to me, it’s not my problem. Eventually it will become everyone’s problem in the US, as real pressing issues are not addressed or swept under the rug or distraction and propaganda is thrown at the public to simply pacify the masses. So far it’s working because most people are marionettes on this stage called life!

[@siljrath]

@@zofiajaneczek184 yep. wilful ignorance and flippant externalities enable the totalitarian tiptoe, "First they came...". the rights and freedoms of others are the rights and freedoms of our own too. catastrophic when people have blinkers to even this much. ignorance, the chloroform and zyklon-b of the masses.

[@kathrynhurn6307]

Makes me sad and infuriated how so many are BLAMING their fellow citizens who are all victims of the corporate coup of our government. We have not enjoyed representative government in many, many years, if we did we’d have Medicare for All, free college, an end to all wars, homelessness, hunger and poverty. If we continue fighting each other it’s only a matter of time until we all slip into poverty and powerlessness. We are ONE and if we don’t know it now we will learn it as we are now: the hard way.

[@jewellstarsinger]

The corporate policies all mandate that all employees will stand on their feet for at least eight hours, period. When I was a girl ALL employees had stools to sit on. Cashiers sat on stools. The elevator operator had a stool to sit on. I just spoke to a Safeway employee whose manager criticized her for leaning while standing outside waiting for the carts that she was tasked to clean. She has never known a world where common compassion was just the average attitude for all of us.

[@9lavender]

I'm so sorry about your cat. I've been through a similar experience. It was so painful. My pets were my beloved children. Capitalism is so cold hearted!

[@shawnparker5387]

Toxic personalities know no gender. I've met plenty of bullying women as well as men who bully. The difference is some men are taught it's "normal" to be this way. That if you behave any other way, you're not a "real man". If people (men and women) didn't buy into the idea that a man showing emotion was "not normal" things could change. I've met plenty of women who say they're "not comfortable with men showing emotion", yet at the same time these same men are berated for not being sensitive enough or for not being empathic. If you teach a man from the age of a child not to show emotion how will he know how to deal with those emotions when he feels them? Just because you're not comfortable with the idea a man has emotions doesn't make them magically go away. Men are human, this shouldn't have to be said but I feel like women forget that. They're so busy joking that all men want is sex they seem to think that's literally all we ever feel, is horny and nothing else. Remembering men are human means we feel all the same emotions as women do. If society wants "toxic masculinity" to disappear you have stop deliberately emotionally stunting men by teaching them not to show emotions as children.

[@nachannachle2706]

I work with young adults. IMHO, more often than not, a lot of teenage boys buy into the idea of standard masculinity = "toughness" = "aggressiveness" = "killing your own emotions". This happens despite them being surrounded by female individuals, whether at school, in the bus, at sport clubs or at home. Nobody is EXPLICITLY telling them to behave the way they do: they just happen to pick it up from their environment/popular media. And yes, even the "emotional" young boys somehow try to buy into that narrative, overdoing the "Alpha" acts along the way (and failing at it spectacularly). They just adopt these behaviours because their peers do. It is important NOT to confuse people who choose to disregard their own emotions because of cultural environment (i.e the "Go big or go home" sort of mantra) with people who have been traumatised and disabled emotionally (i.e suffering from PTSD). A lot of the incels/red pillers belong to the 1st category. Sooner or later, they heal themselves by accepting their own vulnerabilities and giving themselves a break.

[@shawnparker5387]

@@nachannachle2706 of course! There's a huge difference from those who've been traumatized vs those who've been taught to kill their emotions through their environment. I'm saying society at large needs to accept that men have emotions and have a right to express them constructively as much as women do. Women need to stop saying your emotions make me uncomfortable on one hand then complain that the men in their lives not being able to express their emotions. If we're always told to suppress our emotions how can we know how to explain what we're feeling when we've never been allowed to feel those emotions without recriminations?

[@janechambers9980]

I insured my cat with PetSmart. My cat died, and PetSmart forced me to pay the insurance for 8 more months. I was horrified and never went there again.

[@everythingmatters6308]

A trip to the vet's office is a lot different now than 30 years ago. Before, they could diagnose and treat ear infections and other problems with simple exams. Now they can't figure out anything without an expensive test. That home euthanasia vet is price gouging.

[@RebelHips]

I'm sorry about your cat. I had to put down my beloved dog a few months ago and could only afford to take him into the vet to have them do it. It didn't feel good hearing you say that is not the most humane way, but that's the best we could do.

[@GUILLOTINE_GANG]

I loved this video, and I am stoked to have found such a valuable source of political thought from a female perspective. Capitalism is tearing us apart. People make money from your birth, your labor, your physical/mental health, and inevitably your death. You are a DOLLAR SIGN, as are the lives of your loved ones. Happiness is just another scheme for capitalism, it is not a solution. You want to have a home birth because you want the best possible environment for you are your baby? THAT'LL COST YA!! You want to be with a loved one in their final moments? THAT'LL COST YA! Capitalism gives us the "freedom to choose" between feeling happy or stressed based on what we can afford. For those of us who aren't the recipients of inherited wealth, this "choice" leads to a very poor life experience. Hearing folks recognize this problem and search for a solution makes my heart soar.

[@Ghostcamel]

The gender stuff in the video... IDK about, and its in general depressing to me. But this is a comment that i agree with. Thanks.

[@GUILLOTINE_GANG]

@@Ghostcamel @Ghostcamel it is important not to let stuff weigh you down emotionally. Gender, race, religion... all of these are subjective concepts that can and will change with time. All of them distract us from the fight against the Captalist system. Fixing the problems inherent in those identities is a good first step, for it frees us to see the real problem. If all genders and races are treated as equal, and we base our laws on secular facts, we will still have oppression. We will still be oppressed based on CLASS. But once we have achieved equal civil rights for everyone, the only fight left will be Class War. The only justified War is the oppressed against their oppressors. So stay positive comrade, we can and will change this system.

[@ontheline3077]

Why so much hate against Julianna though? She has a different approach and character, they fit each other pretty good.

[@cockoffgewgle4993]

She’s a feminist and a hypnotist. Need I say more? Identity politics has done more to destroy the worker’s movement than possibly anything in the last 50 years.

[@ontheline3077]

@@cockoffgewgle4993 I hear you.

[@ontheline3077]

@@cockoffgewgle4993 but what is it with hypnotist part? Is she a doctor?

[@thereallegend4lyfe]

My problem is that she interrupts Harriet too much.

[@iansmith8783]

I understand what is being discussed here, but I think it’s a mistake to emphasize it. I kind of feel like there is a dismissal of the white working class baked into phrases like “toxic masculinity”. Wouldn’t it be better to try and empathize with the position that working class men are in, in a depressed economy, where manufacturing jobs are hard to come by, and the media are telling them that their traditional values are to be mocked and dismissed? That’s not the way. And besides it diminishes female agency to emphasize “toxic masculinity” as the bugbear that’s assailing society. And will you replace it with? Fecklessness, passivity, resentiment, helplessness? There are positive masculine traits and values that everyone needs to survive in this world, male or female. Men like the ones you’re deriding built this country. Provide you with all of your daily conveniences. They might not be palatable to you, but have some respect and some sensitivity even. You’re painting an entire class of people with an extremely broad brush.

[@biosvideo]

Well, that's the Basket of Deplorables...

[@iansmith8783]

@@biosvideo yeah, that’s a really good point. The so-called left continually appeals to coastal cultural elites with identarianism which is completely palatable to them, while ignoring a white working class that is hungry for a party that represents their interests in a real, material way with policy. This is not a mistake, this is part of the strategy to create a false divide and further sideline class issues which any good anti-capitalist could tell you, are at the heart of all the problems we have in this country.

[@nachannachle2706]

That is PRECISELY what capitalism/socialism are about. Everybody openly looking down on others in other to prop themselves up and raise to the higher spheres (i.e self-promotion). In a truly egalitarian society, people wouldn't waste time judging others left and right, they would be too busy solving their or other people's problems.

[@knyazigorthe8617]

👍

[@knyazigorthe8617]

@@iansmith8783 👍

[@Bludersbunch]

Is this on Spotify?

[@theanonymoushousewife886]

I love you ladies. Your conversations give me hope for a better tomorrow. In honor of the topic tonight, I'll leave you with a little poem: The End Oh grandpa The end is nigh Banking your achievements Way up high Pull up the ladder To watch us drown Then point and laugh After pushing us down All the world a puppet for you Clawing and fighting to be one, too We know something that you do not And that's your sexual deviant spot It wriggles It niggles It tickles you so It aches in the loins Until you want to blow The pressure too much For the mean and mighty Just grab any circle And call it vaginy And on it goes The world must conform To the simplest of minds At the end of a sword

[@ozstyl]

hehehe "We as women learn to keep our legs closed for obvious reasons" - Dr Fraud

[@milesfurther4395]

This was great. This should get more views

[@bingus3582]

The Red Pill is a great documentary I recommend everyone watch.

[@bingus3582]

Sounds more like insecure feminists scared to see their beliefs challenged.

[@bingus3582]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aYiwpq2ehr19pbs

[@bingus3582]

@Marley Anderson Is this you by chance ? kzbin.info/www/bejne/nHnToZd9pq2nqLc

[@cockoffgewgle4993]

@Marley Anderson Feminist lobbyists opposed shared custody becoming the default. Feminism isn’t “inclusive”, it’s pro-women and de facto anti-men. It advocates for women on the assumption that women are disadvantaged, at all times, in all areas.

[@cockoffgewgle4993]

@Marley Anderson A film that raises men’s issues and critiques feminism is very much helping men. The film was widely seen and did more to raise men’s issues than possibly anything else in existence.

[@thereallegend4lyfe]

I hope you two dig deeper into this topic on the next episode. You two had some interesting trains of thought but then they got interrupted by endless meandering.

[@TheVFXbyArt]

11:55 plenty of women at these “toxic masculinity” showcases...

[@boourns173]

They’re all single too. And unattractive.

[@omnichrome9784]

You didn’t watch to the end did you. They discuss this as well and how those women fit into the picture.

[@moribundmurdoch]

16:17 20:06

[@jeffg6008]

C’mon now, ya’ll have fantasies of strong men but just can’t admit it. Honestly, you would all be MUCH happier ❤️👍

[@everythingmatters6308]

From reading the comments, you sure have a lot of critics. Wonder why they bothered watching.

[@laserbrain7774]

Those who fight monsters should beware that they do not themselves become monsters. For when one gazes into the abyss, the abyss gazes back into you.

[@laserbrain7774]

@Alex. Catgirl Proof that males do not have a monopoly on narcissism or toxicity, and that females are also quite capable. I forgive you and love you anyway.

[@in-cite]

There are plenty of female fascists too. "Toxic masculinity" really means collective narcissism.

[@cockoffgewgle4993]

“Toxic masculinity” is when men do things that don’t service or benefit women.

[@kathryntate6809]

It should be called underdeveloped masculinity.

[@ontheline3077]

Or misguided.

[@cockoffgewgle4993]

It’s funny how it’s increased with more boys being raised without men and fathers in their lives.

[@ontheline3077]

@@cockoffgewgle4993 I agree. The correlation is evident

[@Jim89M]

Dr Fraad, I would be grateful for a comment on the sexual market theory, the theoretical tool of incel, pua, mgtow communities to explain the current situation in sexual decline and relationships, worldwide and especially in the Western world. The theory goes like this. Sex is a transaction in a sexual market, where mainly, men are the Byers and women are the sellers. The laws of market (scarcity, supply and demand, value etc) dictate if the transaction will take place and what the price will be. How legit is this theory?. What has to do with capitalism and the free market economy?. Did this theory apply on a non capitalistic economy like socialism or feudalism?. Is this another example in order to glorify capitalism? (like the "human greedy nature" example?. Thanks

[@nachannachle2706]

The real decline is in the QUALITY of sexual interactions and the rarefaction of LONG LASTING relationships. People aren't getting less sex/relationships, they have the opportunity to get a lot of them (through Tinder, HappN, etc.), but these arrangements are of extremely poor quality because they don't bring personal growth: they bring depression and self-hate instead. This is a crisis born out of the lack of value we attached to our OWN time. Time is more precious than money, and essentially, the amount of time we spend doing something is testimony to how much we value that something. When you don't invest time in your human interactions, preferring instead to go for the quick flings or the series of one-night-stands, is it any wonder you end up believing that people aren't worth your time? Paradoxically, you are still willing to waste some of your time to pursue the said "worthless" flings/sexual encounters. Over time, you get confused and blame the end result ("It didn't it last!") on the event ("Let's have fun!"), meanwhile it was your unwillingness to spend/take TIME to reflect on your decision ("I don't care, YOLO!") that is the problem. All the talk about markets, buyers, sellers, etc is just elaborate BS designed to mentally masturbate on the issue (i.e the withdrawal from sexual relationships) without ever addressing how miserable it makes the speaker (i.e the loss of human contact).

[@cockoffgewgle4993]

@@nachannachle2706 Male sexlessness has doubled since 2008. Hence Incels. Tinder doesn’t enable greater access to sex for men, it enables less. It globalises sex, as women are choosing from thousands of men instead of the few dozen they interact with irl. And they’re choosing on more base traits, ie looks. It creates much more of a free market, which benefits those with greater value (women and attractive men). Remember, women have the sexual value and power, innately. Just like men have the physical power. Sexual dimorphism.

[@Jim89M]

@@nachannachle2706 well, from your comment I understand that you are probably a woman, because you see it from a woman's perspective. How do you know that people in general have not less sex and fewer relationships?. Example: Japan. Anyway, I am refering to this theory, I don't think that you understand it. It is about how and why people choose partners. I am not sure if this theory is quite right or wrong, but explains well many treats and behaviours that many people see in their lives. It also agrees with experimental data. This theory applys to western cultures because today in the western world, the people are free to choose their partners, decide the "price" and to compete with each other. (another similarity to a free market economy).

[@Jim89M]

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_economics

[@Jim89M]

@@cockoffgewgle4993 greater value=women and men with high social status. At least for the majority.

[@kaybecker2199]

Julianna interrupts too much!

[@angelcalero6464]

One name Tara Reed. AOC and the squad said squat when it came to her. If we going to hate (rightly so) rapidts, lets be consistent.

[@Jack-ns9sz]

There's something really off putting and a bit classist about two middle class, university educated women talking about how manual labour type jobs are somehow now outdated and irrelevant. I don't know what world you are living in if you think physical work is no longer required and that soft skills will prevail in the modern world. Perhaps you need to get out of your comfortable university environment once in a while. We're going to need the guy who is out in the storm risking his life to fix the powerlines just as much as the nurse or child care worker, for the foreseeable future. We are going to need a variety of different skills. If we had a society completely of Harriet Fraad's and Julianna Forlano's, we'd be fucked.This isn't a zero sum game.

[@anthonyromano8565]

Oh no she didn't

[@cliffordmaxwell9802]

Give them hell ladies! I love your fire, so strong and intelligent thank you for speaking out and keeping us informed! Love you both and can't wait until your next show! Sorry about your beloved pet the cost of vet services has become out of control like our healthcare. The world is all screwed up right now feels like things have just continued to go down hill since Ronald Reagans presidency the country just never seemed to recover from all the damage???

[@SaschaHusenbeth]

I prefer the episodes with only Dr. Fraad in it honestly

[@Kithara111]

Finding an holistic vet was a godsend for my cats; also educating myself on feline nutrition, supplementation, and general wellness.

[@adamhbrennan]

That’s a bad definition of toxic masculinity. Just as racism doesn’t necessarily require operating with a white supremacist ideology, toxic masculinity does not necessarily entail an overt misogynistic gender ideology. We could conceptualize it more broadly as the elements of social and psychological gender expectations surrounding masculinity that are harmful. “Pathological” would be more appropriate and descriptive than “toxic”...

[@batman5224]

I wish people could separate being anti-capitalist from the SJW philosophy. They are really two entirely separate things. You do realize, for example, that most major corporations promote socially liberal philosophies? Corporations try to distract people by dividing them by race, gender, and nationality, all the while neglecting to talk about class. I don’t it’s helpful to talk about why this group is doing a little better than that group, and so on. Until we solve the problems that exist within capitalism, none of it really matters.

[@nfzeta128]

" I don’t it’s helpful to talk about why this group is doing a little better than that group, and so on. Until we solve the problems that exist within capitalism, none of it really matters." But that's what talk about capitalism and classism is. It's just a different ism.

[@volvolakaemma9209]

No it's not separate. Understanding patriarchy exists and how capitalism and patriarchy give each other power is different from cOrPoRaTiOnS having lesbian CEOs. Either we understand how capitalism maintains it's power structure or we just scratch the surface and end up with useless conclusions. By this definition, for a rich person talking about class problems is SJW.

[@batman5224]

@@volvolakaemma9209 A wealthy trans person will definitely have more power and influence than a poor white man. Capitalism cares about the accumulation of money, not about what race or gender you are. In different ways, all people are victims of capitalism, but the more time we spend talking about who has it worse, the less time we’ll actually spend fixing the system.

[@volvolakaemma9209]

@@batman5224 Read the comment again. Do you feel threatened by being a white male that you will have it worse? Why are you sooo fragile? It's okay. *pat* *pat* Don't be a class reductionist Why are most rich people cis hetero and white males?

[@flash_flood_area]

It's all interconnected. You can't talk about capitalism without taking time to recognize who is disproportionately kept at the bottom of the stack, who is most likely at the top, and how that preserves the capitalist system.

[@idie6154]

Capitalism Hits Home has lost, sadly, all psychoanalytical appeal it used to have that made me fall in love with every episode. Now, it's about 2 women having a casual conversation. There are thousands of other channels that offer 2 women having a casual conversation. I think this is the last episode I'll ever watch until Dr. Fraad relaunches her series of serious psychological analysis. This new person brought absolutely no value to the show and in fact killed it, but surely, she is 'entertaining' enough for others to like her. Entertainment is not what this show was ever about.

[@iansmith8783]

I agree. It would be interesting to hear some about how capital has an impact on social and family life. This is more like retreading feminism 101 without adding any new insight.

[@thatsterroristsbro7855]

Lol @ psychoanalytical appeal

[@HussainFahmy]

*_All behaviours are belief-driven. Toxic Masculinity is not an exception._*

[@blueplanethand]

Women are most free & equal in the western world 🙏 yes, it's important to push for greater equality, but don't take this out of context & only be negative like this guest.. Appreciation of our freedom will attract more of it 🙏

[@vktor5730]

@earth ocean Compared to women in non-western society, women in western societies have it much easier and have seen much more success which is objectively true.

[@boourns173]

Big fucking yawn.

[@DV-dt9sq]

It is interesting to see how many men have commented this topic. And it is interesting to see how mostly they are defending, diminishing or trying to dilute this subject of toxic masculinity as if they were called to defend themselves. Do they feel called out? If so, than we have biiiiiiig problem.

[@cockoffgewgle4993]

The weakest argument in the book. “U mad bro?” Yes, men don’t like being attacked based on their gender. There’s a word for that. I think it’s “sexism”. Feminist theory and critical race theory and all associated nonsense is cult drivel. A collation of a carefully curated selection of “facts” to establish a “theory”, aka a simplified narrative, used to justify hatred towards certain demographics. Hitler did something similar.

[@joanneglenn1989]

Dr. Fraad's program would be so much better off without this Forlano person.

[@nicoledickens2366]

You think vets are bad you should look at funeral homes.

[@nicoledickens2366]

@earth ocean I’m sorry you had to go through that, thank you for sharing!

[@benjaminroosevelt1869]

This is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life!! Hyper feminism!!