career advice to IGNORE in your twenties

[@chiarathomas5044]

"anything worth doing is worth doing poorly" has helped me ACTUALLY DO so many more things

[@Fauna-gt5ii]

Tbh when I’m feeling the most down it helps me achieve the smallest things, like brushing my teeth etc cos it’s better to do it for ten seconds than not at all xx

[@MiniNymph]

I have a quote similar to this on my wall, it is helping a lot!

[@9Nikko8]

It's one of my favorites too

[@natalyaedwards6258]

I used the quote "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" at the start of my BA history dissertation but it was an updated quote by Mamphela Ramphele which said "pulling oneself by your bootstraps presupposes one has boots to wear in the first place" which i absolutely love, it says so much more about privilege / class / inequality!

[@askalemuralia]

ooh, I love this!

[@desertels5119]

The Jack of all Trades being half a quote reminds me of the misquoted "Blood is thicker than water" - family is more important than friends "Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" - found family/ friends is more important than people who share your genetics

[@PopcornEmma]

I may be wrong but I’ve heard that this one was made up on tumblr, though it is still a better quote in my opinion

[@kisscass9348]

Actually, "Blood is thicker than water" is the whole phrase: Germanic in origin, having evolved over the centuries into the modern wording and meaning we know today. However, some guy in the late 1800s (can't remember who), wrote a book where he contrasted this phrase with an Arabic phrase that, whilst very similar, was almost opposite in meaning: "Blood is thicker than milk", where 'blood' is blood of the covenant/brotherhood, and 'milk' is mother's milk. Seemingly, this text is the source of the mutated version of the phrase that you now sometimes find online - someone combined the two phrases and the accompanying explanation into "Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb". Which still sounds pretty cool, even if it's not a real phrase.

[@gamewrit0058]

Lie: Hard work and loyalty will be well rewarded. Truth: Good enough is good enough, and done is better than perfect - as Leena said, in most cases. Galaxy brain: Have a personal life, learn boundaries, and do at least one thing that you love or enjoy each day.

[@9Nikko8]

Stardew Valleyyyyyyy 😍😍😍🤩

[@michelleabramowitz273]

I had a professor who gave me the exact opposite advice to jack of all trades: it's all grist for the mill, ie anything you learn will inevitably come back someday to help you along

[@DoddieW]

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”. I’m 28 now and having tried the thing that I love as a career I really hated it. I’m much happier keeping it to myself and doing something I care less about to earn my money.

[@didreams1]

This! Work is work. There are stressful, mundane, boring and exciting parts of every job. Just because you love a field or a role, doesn't mean there will be no toil or frustration there. This also translates to when people say "you decided to do this career, don't complain" which I think is so unfair. Venting and making genuine criticisms of something you chose is not a bad thing!

[@nervouscrepe]

Advice I ignored (though struggled with immensely): That your 20s are your "hustle" years. It's the decade to sacrifice yourself to your career, so that by your 30s your "established". Most of my 20s have been spent in therapy, resetting my life. Jobs have been means of financial support while I focus on building personal wealth. A career will always be there, when I'm ready for one, but a healthy support system was something I knew I couldn't proceed in life without. Eventhough I know this was the right path for me, it's still hard to see hustle culture and most people my age getting promotions and established careers while I'm just trying to make genuine relationships lol

[@didreams1]

Another one I struggle with a lot in my 20s is "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't." It's made me less adventurous, and less willing to try something new just in case my current situation is the best I'll get

[@nikkibuglass627]

Do a ‘fall back’ subject… not only is this the most depressing advice to give young people but there are no dependable ‘fall backs’ anymore. I feel like this advice made me super cautious and I didn’t really pursue what I loved, when I had no commitments and could have risked it. My advice to my kids will be to just go all in.

[@jenkrr]

"Good enough is good enough" has become my work motto. It takes some experience to know where the good enough level is, but it's been so freeing to let go of perfection :)

[@esther5636]

I was advised to only disclose mental health after signing a contract. Instead I was extremely open and have found workplaces that accommodate and made incredible connections with my bosses giving me the support and openness that I now consider essential for my future workplaces!

[@beccitatefitzjohn7804]

Can we all come work at your employer's place!?

[@ash486]

Do you disclose during interviews?

[@esther5636]

@@ash486 Yes i did disclose during the interviews! I do work in a creative field which is generally more known for openness. But the kindness I've been met with has been amazing. I'm now doing a masters thesis at one of these workplaces on the inclusion of people with invisible disabilities, so my openness is seen as a major asset.

[@esther5636]

@@beccitatefitzjohn7804 These places are out there, so I hope this gives people a bit of courage to find them ♥

[@flyingazebo]

I think it was just my misconception fuelled by career-centric (theoretical) education, but somehow i thought life is going to be amazing once i finish uni and get a job that matches my degree. But it turns out that at every moment of our life we're living our lives 😱 life is NOW, not later, not after i finish this school, mixture of ups and downs at every age, and it's not about going through the motions and ticking boxes, to get to the next 'stage'. Life is life nananana life...

[@skh-22]

I had to unlearn my deep desire to get a gold star lol. For example, if you work while you’re sick, you’re not going to get a gold star for that. Unless it’s a hugely important deadline, no one will even remember that 6 months ago, you worked 3 days while you felt like shit. So don’t punish yourself in hopes of a gold star because it ain’t coming.

[@trinaq]

Thanks for the tips, Leena. I've learned that you don't have to magically have everything together by the time you're thirty, and that we're all simply finding ourselves.

[@h0ldtight]

Something I’ve always been told is that you shouldn’t change jobs until you’ve been in it for over 2 years - it makes your CV look bad, evidence that you can’t commit etc. I do accept that it usually takes at least a year to fully ‘master’ a role, by which point you’ll be ready to move on if you want to, but if you’re in a job that’s making you miserable there is no point in staying. It’s definite, familiar misery vs *potential* misery. The grass usually is greener, or at least better paid.

[@twiddlinthemthumbs]

for the first advice, in french we have this : "le mieux est l'ennemi du bien", 'better' is the ennemy of 'good'.

[@FallenTwin]

In regards to pulling oneself up by the bootstraps: I really really struggled to finish my MA thesis on time, and I felt like a failure when I didn't manage to hit the deadline and had to delay a year. But I had *tried* to reach out and get help, but was not given anything that helped. Instead when I gave in and accepted the delay I also found a network of people to support me, and became better at balancing the resources at my disposal and seeing the bigger picture of what was necessary to finish a thesis. And in the end my thesis came out so much better for it and I am super proud of it now!! And even if it hadn't led to any improvements it still would have been fine. Timelines for theses writing are arbitrarily constructed and every project will have different requirements to complete to a satisfactory degree. Add to that how lonely it is to write a thesis and I'm surprised we don't talk more about how to manage a whole research project like that.

[@annaj3170]

I am in the same boat and just got covid for the first time, this is very motivating and helps me stop worrying about when I will complete my thesis and focus on what I can do to increase my chances and motivation to do so!

[@alainaclemence]

Yes! I did a thesis-adjacent translation/research project (not for MA, BA) and the person who was supposed to guide me completely dropped the ball. Someone I had selected as a consultant, ironically, ended up helping so much more and saved me when I was in a whirlwind of a last phase of bringing details together. It did feel incredibly lonely when no one else understood *how* I was tying information and details together and lonely when the person I had initially picked didn’t help the way I needed them to. But I am so grateful for that mentor for believing in me even when he didn’t see the full picture as I did until after I had finished it.

[@PopcornEmma]

I often avoid your videos on work stuff because I can’t work due to my chronic illness, but I’m glad I watched this one because when you talked about energy resources in reference to the bootstrap quote, it felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. my mentality has often been to push and push and try to do the Most at all times and sometimes you just have to acknowledge that isn’t possible and that’s okay. learning my limitations and working within them to improve my life has been the biggest journey of my twenties so far.

[@gingerprice9221]

I once had an adult tell me when I was 17 or 18 to "Never get a degree in a field you're not good at," and, unfortunately, I *did* let that inform my decisions, and here I am now, 15 years and a graduate degree later, looking to go back to school in a completely different field which I don't necessarily have an aptitude for but certainly have an interest in.

[@dob1997]

But also we learn by doing!! We cant expect to be good without practise! (Also silly to expect a 17yo to be good at whatever it is and that that is fixed so young), given the time and resources anyone can improve their skills at anything

[@gingerprice9221]

@@dob1997 Totally agree; I very much did *not* have a growth mindset at the time and now regret that, but it feels wild to me that an adult would ever offer that advice to a teenager, ha; I teach high school right now and couldn't fathom telling kids to never try things for which they don't have an aptitude.

[@bananawomanD]

I'm in the same boat! was told by adults around me that I had a flair for teaching so that must be My Thing. only realised a month ago, in the 3rd chance I'm giving the profession, and 10 years later that the things I've always found unbearable are never going to change and I'm going to be a lot happier and healthier doing something different.

[@missesblueful]

Ah, feel you! I too got a masters degree in something I was always told I was good in and made sense and let go of the career I would have actually enjoyed a lot more and thrived in because "it has a lot of statistics in it". Finally, at 29 made the decision to go back to school and study psychology.

[@Orlagh]

Love the true meaning of the 'Jack of all trades' one, as someone who has also beaten herself with the same stick!

[@KingaZajacNNR]

You know, there are certain phrases that stuck with me that I've heard from you. "Done is better than perfect" and obv "Everything in moderation".

[@amygoeshiking]

... including moderation

[@KingaZajacNNR]

@@amygoeshiking Yup!

[@desertels5119]

Something that I was confused about in university was networking - tbh I've found networking events that don't require you to show your skills/work with others on Something to be a waste of time. You talk to people add them on LinkedIn and go your separate ways. Results may vary on this one but those were my two cents.

[@northenalaska-4287]

That you can’t take a break in employment. That scared me so much! What about gaps in resumes!!!! ???? Idk lie who cares

[@really-quite-exhausted]

LEENA your timing is perfect! I'm 22 and graduated last summer. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, and I'm kind of a hot mess right now.

[@katfujioka212]

Me too!! Feels like everything around me is falling apart, so I almost don't want to try :(

[@rebeccamichaels6953]

I'm in exactly the same boat here!

[@thepeacockjournal9913]

I'm 28 and same, you're not alone

[@joyoriordan]

I felt the same way, now in my thirties and still figuring out ‘what I’m doing with my life’. To use a phrase in the theme of this video, life is journey not a destination

[@lauragibbons1951]

Just that your job isn't worth your life. This was said to me when I was going through am extremely tough time mentally and it was a colleague who said this to me. You know, if you're so u happy that it might cost your life it's not worth it, it's not worth dying for. And maybe I took it too literally because I've not been back to work since and this was 2019 😅😬 but I've unpacked the ableism, the internalized capitalism that led me to believe in the first place that I was nothing if I didn't have a job and that my self esteem was intrinsically linked to how useful I am to the world. I also love the jack of a trades, and since my ADHD diagnosis it's a badge I wear proudly and I'm happy to follow the dopamine in whatever direction I end up in with my curiosity. Not to say that it's all roses, but it has its perks and I end up learning absolutely random knowledge and skills because of it and I feel like I've got a little collection of pokemon or something 🤣

[@katfujioka212]

Absolutely! Don't let your job get in the way of making social connections, looking after family and having fun with friends, or you'll find you have a lot more to regret in future.

[@fionashaw9097]

The two best pieces of advice I've picked up are: When you're looking for a job, remember that as well as you needing a job, the company also needs an employee. That helped me be less nervous but also to ask for what I needed in a job, and if I couldn't get that I knew it wasn't the right fit. Somewhat related, but always start with the highest number in salary negotiation, because if you start with the lower one that's probably what you will get. This is often most relevant for juniors, but still a good one: all you can do is do your best and make sure you've performed adequately and know why you made the decisions you made. If someone higher up chooses to ignore your advice and everything goes wrong, that is not on you as long as you've done your job, even if it is annoying. So many people get upset or frustrated by this, but it's not worth it!

[@tiaraono7668]

I take pride in being a jack of all trades, and it literally got me my current job! I hate that people think its a bad thing (specifically in the sciences) because it actually makes you better at your job having many skillsets!

[@rebeccalouisewillson]

I love the extra bit on the end of ‘Jack of all trades, master of none’. I didn’t know that. There’s a great chapter in a book about Actor Musicians called ‘Jack and Master’

[@Lifescapers]

I'm in my 60s but find your insights equally relevant - and helpful. Especially the jack of all trades concept. I've built a fabulous work life by continually evolving and adapting myself over the decades while colleagues who were more narrowly focused ended up in far more precarious situations with more limited options. And even if they had lots to offer, didn't have the confidence to put themselves confidently out into the unknown.

[@Horsebuggy2]

I was just thinking about that "Jack of all trades" quote the other day, honestly it has taken until my late 20's for me to let go of the idea of "focusing in" on one skill, I feel like it's good to have a good background in something but eventually you just end up limiting yourself! Growth and gaining new knowledge and skills is always useful and I've noticed it makes me feel happier and more confident, especially at work!

[@maggylina2191]

I've always envied my close friends who have always had a passion for one thing. When people ask if I have a hobby I get stuck because I could name 10 different skills I care about and commit time to improve. I'm glad to hear there's a surprising twist to the end of that old saying !

[@janeshore1838]

Can't relate more to the "Jack of all trades" one. Tried so many things and had so many different experiences which in reality are now very often entwined in my job. Never regretting this.

[@gemma1]

I was told that I should go to uni even if I didn't want to. 🙃 I didn't go, and got myself a job instead and my confidence and skills grew enormously... I got made redundant at 25 last year, from a job/workplace I had been at for six years. I was so worried and overwhelmed about looking at other 'careers' and jobs that it put me off applying. Thankfully I now have an apprenticeship role in a completely different sector and am really enjoying it! It feels so daunting to change at this age but it was definitely the right thing to do. 😊

[@kateb5381]

Honestly the one thing I try to tell myself is to be confident. Obviously this can be applied to all aspects of life, but in terms of my career, I'm quite often been spoken down to because I only recently graduated, but you know what? I am bloody good at my job, I've got tonnes to learn but I'm gonna have the confidence to trust in my own abilities!

[@vecsernyesanna6323]

I’ve just found another interesting layer for this bootstrap thing. Douglas Rushkoff writes in Survival of the richest: “Today’s investors can’t grasp the concept of a founder who eschews financing and instead reinvests a business’s own revenues to reach profitability. Venture capitalists call this ‘bootstrappig’ a business, named for the way the fictional character Barom von Munchausen was able to defy the laws of physics and hoist himself up by his own bootsraps.” 🤯 I’ve never realized this meaning behind bootstrapping. Thanks for the video! 🙏

[@samantharose1001]

That’s super interesting and wild about “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” I had no idea

[@awkwardatlas5623]

Hah, as a lawyer, the devil really is in the detail! Great video Leena!

[@rbradbury9493]

I work in a role that is in high demand and between jobs I always take a month or two off. My family always tell me the gaps on my CV are going to make potential future employers not want to employ me. In actual fact they are so happy to have someone filling their empty role they would jump through hoops - I just take advantage of this when changing job.

[@listeningatwork8719]

Back in the 90s, I used to hear the “bootstraps “ expression *constantly* on talk radio here in the US. It was like a mantra to be repeated as often as possible.

[@V01D.mp3]

The jack of all trades one!! I swear, I still beat myself up over that because I just can’t stick to something, even though I know better. Thank you for pointing it out once more.

[@mariahgeiger-williams9230]

Omg I love the full “jack of all trades” quote and had never heard it! I learned in my mid-twenties that the demand for generalists is actually quite high, and I love being one!

[@elspethnicholson2409]

This made me think of a bit of advice someone gave me in my very first “real” job which was actually very good: don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. I think about that a lot, and as someone with very perfectionist tendencies it continues to be really helpful to remember that sometimes you just need to get the thing finished!

[@DarwinsWench]

I’d love to hear a video from you where you discuss how to deal with being a people pleaser and susceptible to gaslighting specifically in the workplace. As a PhD student it’s been incredibly difficult to realize that advisors and professors who I once thought were guiding me are most likely just exploiting me, but I still struggle to determine what criticisms they have of me are legitimate and which once are unfounded.

[@ricardaseven6083]

I've got a good higher education and for years whilst doing my bachelor degree -and still now when i talk about maybe doing a master - people kept asking if i really did all this "only to become a bookseller" bc apparently if you have the grades you need to do something with them. thankfully i never cared bc i have an amazing job that's exactly right for me AND the opportunity to keep learning simply bc i enjoy learning but it did always bother me how people looked down on an "educated" person choosing a "skill" career

[@colby840]

tldr: i think I’m just agreeing with the jack of all trades thing. But also encourage people to take jobs for life experience and not necessarily for a career move. I think the best thing I’ve done career wise has been doing “not real jobs” I’ve been a seasonal worker since graduating college. I thought eh i’ll do one season and then find a “real job” (something stable, 40 hours a week, year round) But its been 6 years now doing seasonal or temporary jobs including trail work, working in national parks, and working for a non profit doing historic preservation, and its been great! I’ve got to experience things and places I honestly dont’t think I would have otherwise. It’s also been hard and I do constantly feel behind my peers in having a more traditional stable life. I think it’s all been worth it though because now I am at a place were all these experiences have turned into quite a broad resume and employers have seen my experiences as a positive.

[@manoune78orange]

4:08 “we rarely adjust our expectations when our resources have been depleted for a specific reason, we rarely allow ourselves to reduce our expectations even just a little bit for a short period of time because we think we should pull ourselves up by our bootstrap” thank you for this. This morning still, I was yet again feeling guilty for asking my doctor to prolongate my sick leave, even though the need for it comes from years and years of living through trauma that has permanently decreased my resources, and it’s the first time of my life that I’m allowing myself to decrease my expectations of myself. It’s incredibly uncomfortable at first because yes, there’s this inner societal voice expecting everyone to be mad at me for asking for rest instead of keeping up “the grind” 😩 But actually, time and time again, the people who matter to me I found just care about my wellbeing and don’t expect me to work myself to death. So coming from someone who just turned 30 and never allowed herself rest before : allow yourself the rest and reduced expectations. Thank you Leena 💛

[@CassianGray]

Great timing, Leena! I'm on the hunt for a new job right now, and this has helped me to be gentler with myself and not burn myself out for the sake of a company that sees me as replaceable.

[@leenanorms]

Ooo wishing you luck!!!

[@fionastabler]

‘Be so good they can’t ignore you’ (I think that’s a Steve Martin quote), or similarly ‘build it and they will come’. It’s possible I’ve misinterpreted those phrases, but I take them to mean that if you’re really good at your chosen skill, opportunities will land in your lap. Nope! Especially in creative industries, you have to be prepared to self promote and shove yourself down peoples throats. Promote your project on social media, send your portfolio to agents, find the art director of your fav publication on Twitter and chat to them, go to conventions and meet-ups, go to networking events, join an artist collective, find people with your dream career and ask if you can buy them a cup of coffee and pick their brain, I could go on and on. The one thing that WON’T work is getting really good at your chosen skill silently alone at home!

[@josiegjackson]

You need to do more of those career-based twenties advice (especially with pie in sky career and Plan B or backup career) that was brilliant! I'm about to graduate this summer with my Plan B career according to the 16 year old me because I have already been internally advised to not take up acting but 6 years later I long for the experience again.

[@phoebemycroft1754]

I have always been called a Jack of all trades (and I work in the theatre) but I had no idea until now where the phrase came from or the full quote ❤ thank you for telling us!!! I love being a Jackie 🎉🎭

[@paperboundprotagonist]

Rather off point, but I've watched your "Lies your told about clothes" so many times (your clothes videos are my comfort videos for when I'm depressed) that when you said "the devil is in the details" my brain automatically filled in, "he's there, waiting."

[@ssiddarth]

So glad to have found your channel from the latest TFD vid's comments section that I going through 🤗

[@didreams1]

I love the idea of spinning "the devil's in the details". Don't get seduced by the devil!

[@robynmcsharry9611]

I definitely agree with the last one.

[@9Nikko8]

About the "pull yourself by your bootstraps" saying, I always thought that it was something like "roll up your sleeves and get to work", but I'm not a native English speaker so maybe I was translating it wrong in my head. Anyway, it's funny that I found the real meaning now because in my language we have an idiom with a similar meaning - which is funny nonsense basically - and I used to hear it a lot when I was a kid. I would complain to my mom or aunt about being bored and I'd hear 'pull yourself by your ass and jump' as a suggestion 😆

[@tobywollin8978]

'devil is in the details' reminds me of Goethe's comment that 'architecture is frozen music.' (which of course begs the question - is music just defrosted architecture?

[@sandrapandalesque8903]

🤯 I'm never sure, that your viedeos will be relatable for me or I can "get smth out of it" but everytime you more than surpass my expectations with your thoughtful words, research and important topics. This video is no different. My brother is helping me overcoming avoidances problems, "perfectionism" and anxiety I have while finishing my masters and he says to me "perfect is the enemy of good" in the same sense as in get shit done is better than trying to be perfect and doing nothing - my whole MO. But "done is always better than perfect" is much more precise in what he's meaning to say and what I need. 🤯 Thanks!! A lot of great inputs about casual quotes thrown around but finally smb thinking them through!

[@lydia6147]

Hahaha your face when you said the devil's in the details, don't go there! As a huge perfectionist I can agree, that's where the devil lives xx

[@tumorra951]

Thank you so much Leena! Very. Very helpful.

[@MissKriekentaart]

Your jacket! Is! Amazing! As is the rest of the video.

[@cherry.blossom_tree]

I came here to see if anyone asked where she got it. 😅🌈🧥

[@MiniNymph]

Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is akin to advising someone to just fucking fly.

[@njdinostar]

Great video! And also, I love seeing ThE rAiNbOw JaCkEt~~!!

[@MissCarreautee]

An advice I didn't follow was : if you're going to change jobs, make sure the salary is always higher I went back to school in a field that I thought would be less lucrative, only to find out that I was severely underpaid in my previous field despite the fact that it was more "glamorous", and my new job has much better long term prospects than my old career had, imo Without even mentioning the fact that I'm much less miserable! (I know that taking a salary cut voluntarily is not feasible for everyone especially right now, but for those who can afford to, it can be worth it sometimes)

[@JenHasNoIdea]

Attach yourself to the job or the 'cause', not the people, as people can leave (...or to that effect). I think this is untrue, lots of aspects of any job can be unenjoyable/tiresome and having great colleagues can make those aspects more bearable or even fun.

[@RosieBlacher]

My dad always used to drill into me and my sister that "the cream always rises to the top", meaning the best people will get to the best jobs/opportunities. This is not true, also I don't really know what constitutes 'cream' because everyone brings such different things to the table but my dad obviously thought me and my sister were the cream 😂

[@thefrancophilereader8943]

I'm not a jack of all trades, and that has been a curse.

[@luke28]

hear hear~!

[@alagorical8001]

love thankyou xxxx

[@KatrinaEames]

why have the meanings of so many cliched sayings changed so much?

[@CM-pf1xc]

Historical human telephone lol

[@elizabethb.3932]

It doesn’t matter what your degree is in, just get a degree in something even if you don’t know what to do. Terrible advice.

[@lemsip207]

Then you end up having to take a second degree or diploma.

[@shanw.2948]

💜

[@TheJanaRina]

I am learning the last one in it's full meaning right now. After nearly 10 years in natural science I might finally get my Dr title.... and then proceed to move to a different job, field or even industry... oops. So right now while writing my thesis I am also desperately trying to diversify my skill set 🥲