Caretaking: A Case Study & Discussion

Happy Thursday! Today I wanted to discuss caretaking when your partner is ill. Inspiration came from a semi-popular couple I follow on KZbin (who will go nameless,) as well as some hypothetical situations where Marc would be making decisions for me (Marc is a fantastic caretaker.) Comment below to share your thoughts:) Enjoy! And, as always, Please Subscribe!
Steve and Marc
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[@julieholland9639]

this hypothetical case you speak of hypothetically blocked me months ago because I asked a simple question, nothing mean or rude, just something simple. This video is gold

[@2wirefox]

Your most important video ever! Nailed it. I'm horrified for him. Malignant Narcissism at it's worst.

[@kitteesPJs]

This. Is. GREAT! You voiced the thoughts and concerns of tens of ex "fans" with such dignity and gracious restraint, with the humility so lacking of the subjects of said case study. I don't think either of you will have to worry about the other exploiting a devastating illness for fun and profit; this video shows exactly what a class act the two of you are. It would be my honor to treat you both to brefix some day. Empadas on me. 😁😘

[@butterflywing4516]

I'm soooo glad you did this video! I know that a lot of people are concerned about a case study on KZbin *exactly* like this one! Everything you said about it is 100% true and people are worried that they're watching someone's demise. It's very difficult to imagine anyone who is mentally stable making such terrible decisions that keep harming their partner. Great job, Steve!!!

[@wadebowenfan6743]

I wish more people would make commentary on this topic!

[@butterflywing4516]

@@wadebowenfan6743 So do I... it's unnerving that so many people can watch someone harming another and there's nothing to do about it to help. Did I hear that hypothetical person saying today that a video will be watched on KZbin to learn how to do the feeding tube? I hope I heard wrong.

[@wadebowenfan6743]

@@butterflywing4516 Yes, and also, "just send him home. It's not that complicated. I can google it". SMH

[@kellbell2114]

After reading these comments, I've come to realize the true meaning of Steve's video. I don't follow the others, but I get the situation. Very frustrating and sad for people to watch.

[@georgiestokie3325]

I spent 2 years on nutritional feed for my crohn's disease. I had 6 weeks of training on not just setting the feed up but also the A septic procedure needed to perform it safely. Yes I'm in the UK but have many friends on feed in the US also needing feed and the protocol is the same throughout the board. This will not end well I guarantee it 😭😭

[@statusdisarray9598]

Bravo well done! I will consider myself “blocked” . I am not even sure how I got in this loop but ...you did this perfectly it is exactly what the heck is going on and pretty gross if you ask me. Thank you for saying what I felt stumbling down this very strange road

[@tammyjo6056]

Thank you for this case study. I also have seen an example of a caregiver complaining her loved one had not slept for a couple of days and had not been provided any sleep aid. No thought to the possible interactions with pain meds, blood thinners, other meds, or reduced heart rate. But complaining, regardless, about the medical staff not being knowledgeable about the importance of sleep meds. Then filming the poor loved one in a hospital chair, dozing off repeatedly...waking him each time he dozed off. Yet, complaining again later how tired he was.

[@tigertalks1567]

Cynthia Beaumont also has no realization of how serious this cancer is. She thinks because he had the surgery the cancer is gone and that's that. This particular type of cancer has a very very mortality rate for people he is age. I wish him only the best, however, his doctors need to be straight with her regarding his prognosis. If they aren't if anything happened she's going to be blindsided

[@tammyjo6056]

tiger talks I agree. I had a dear friend lose his battle with esophageal cancer some years back, and he was only 38 and caught it early. He started treatment immediately at MD Anderson. Aggressive treatment. They thought they got it all...we celebrated. Then a couple weeks later we got the news it was in his liver. He was gone about a month later. It still breaks my heart.

[@butterflywing4516]

@@tigertalks1567 Have you seen the newest from last night? It's documented elder abuse for certain. There's a point where she yells at him to sit up straight so he doesn't look "old and feeble." Sure hope someone saved that video before she realizes the evidence she just provided.

[@tigertalks1567]

@@butterflywing4516 I saw that but if I make a video about that, or Amy's nonsense Journey I'm considered a bully. Who's the bully tormenting a 73 year old man, neglecting children, neglecting dogs those are the true bullies

[@tigertalks1567]

@@butterflywing4516 he has clearly in pain, she did not get his pain meds before she left. He's been waiting two days for them. I would have never left that hospital without a prescription in hand or better yet but pain meds filled at the hospital pharmacy. All hospitals have pharmacies they could have been getting it ready while they were discharging him. If she were in pain she would lose her mind, she's always waiting for her narcotics for her back. I'm incensed about how he's treated

[@kajunkaty6696]

New subscriber, you are spot on about this!!!

[@SmokeySteveAndMarc]

Hi and welcome! :-)

[@Theresamarie-y8b]

It can't have been easy for you to do this Steve and it demonstrates what a caring person you are. I hope for all involved a resolution can be found or that a person with authority can intervene. Hopefully you have set the ball rolling by reaching out like this.

[@KellyGM8813]

You nailed it! ❤️ My thoughts exactly ❤️😊 Im scared for Tommy. We all need to be praying for him 🙏🏻

[@heavensentshe6309]

oh yeh, it's love, a narcissistic love, "love only me, listen only to me, rely only on me" Yeh it's love, if I get my rewards in the form of gifts, presents and shopping trips. This person loves the viewers too, their prayers worked and their money, their gifts, etc etc. Give them lots of praise, keep the gifts coming. Sure it's love...a material love. It's not love, it's a dependency like all their other addictions.

[@tigertalks1567]

I did more for my dog after her knee surgery then she's doing for her husband. And I did it happily happily. I took her to rehab which was over an hour away each way she went twice a week for 12 weeks I mean come on I waited for her anyway it's just amazing to me that she can say she loves this person she loves what Tommy can do , and be for her!

[@robinv579]

Well said....

[@salopeb]

Thank you thank you for posting this. I know what youre trying to say. You both are the best and hope you had a Merry Christmas.

[@beewalsh1603]

Yes indeed, it is a superb reminder that people can say anything they want on YT and so many subs believe inaccuracies. This is where the frustration comes in, because so many good hearted generous subs help YTbers in various ways. She talked a good game yet , we didnt see a lot of loving, selfless acts in helping her partner. It's the same way w a grifter YTBer from Mississippi, that has had 25 + years stealing and scamming and jail and continues to steal, the most recent one in 2018. She has everyone believing she is a poor victim and passively E begs. She plays a good game of portraying this on YT. It's all about Actions vs. WORDS. Thank you for your insight.

[@juliewood4340]

I would definitely want my caretaker to come to the hospital everyday. Especially if I didn’t understand the doctors and nurses were say to me.

[@juliewood4340]

‘saying’

[@KellyGM8813]

Yep!

[@thelifeiwasgiven1171]

I had to become my husband's caretaker in 1991. This is not how I did it. I even fought the doctors when I believed they were sending him home too soon. He actually had to be my caretaker this summer after a serious accident. You do what's best for the person you love not yourself. At least that's the way we are.

[@dhl2445]

If you truly love someone you do anything to help them burden or not.. I am not saying you can't complain about the problems it brings no one is a saint. But you don't resent them because of health issues.

[@hollymolly2716]

I love you Steve! You look so much like THE EDGE from U2!!!💖💖💖

[@kellbell2114]

@ Heather Hendricks He reminds me of Gregg Alexander, the lead singer of the 90's group 'The New Radicals'. 😂

[@miriamhavard7621]

He DOES kinda look like U2's The Edge!!! 😃🎶🎸🎶🎶🎶

[@lovemyferals]

I was a caregiver for 10 years in a row, first my sister (early on-set Alzheimer's), then my parents (father-Alzheimers, mother-different health issues) so I have had ample time and experience to really think this over and I know what I plan to do if I get a "big" or terminal diagnosis. The best things partners, married or unmarried, can do is really talk this over. You need to know what the other person wants and anything that can be put down on paper should be, legal and otherwise. One thing my mom and I sort of fell into as her hospital visits increased was that I was the bad cop and she was the good cop. So I asked lots of questions, sent her dinners back when they completely wrong, made sure certain things were taken care of etc. It allowed her to be the incredibly sweet patient and I was the one they rolled their eyes at which was funny if you really knew us. My mom was a decisive, tough woman who spoke the truth, but this way she could just get well. She didnt have to worry about all the other stuff because I was taking care of it (without being obnoxious, well, most of the time anyway🙄) Taking care of someone you love is a real labor of love and an incredible privilege, it should be all about that person. Of course there are hardships and annoyances, but you try to deal with those away from the patient. I do have to admit to some silly arguments with my sister even tho I knew perfectly well she had Alzheimer's, but we also had some awesome moments including her last day of real conciousness. I'm rambling, but what I'm trying to say is discuss this in a thorough and thoughtful way while you both are not facing a crisis. Clearly this other couple hadn't, she doesnt seem to be listening to him or the professionals like she should. Much of this might be her way of dealing with a disease over which she has no control so she is trying to control everything else and filming in his hospital room is a way to put space between her and the reality of what is happening there. Other commenters who know them well mentioned other valid points like addiction and dependency. Whatever it is, the lesson is talk to your partner and make legal whatever you can (POA's, DNR etc) It's so important and will give each partner peace of mind because you never know what can happen.

[@AngieRenee969]

💕

[@kellbell2114]

A great reminder for everyone to put things in writing. POAs, Advanced Directives, Wills, etc.. My cousin was in a loving, committed relationship, with his girlfriend for over 15yrs, never married. She had a stroke which, she succumbed to 3 days later, Because my cousin was not related to her, he was not allowed to see her. (All decisions went to her son, next of kin) The last my cousin saw the love of his life, was when she was put on the Life Flight helicopter. Put your affairs in writing! Good video, Steve!

[@wadebowenfan6743]

How heartbreaking! So sorry to hear this :(

[@miriamhavard7621]

WOW. So sorry.

[@Annasea666]

Merry Christmas y'all 💗

[@deleruiz8573]

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[@gwenintexas4080]

Excellent video. Very well said.

[@livingbyfaithwithbenji8909]

I soo agree.

[@livingbyfaithwithbenji8909]

Well considering this man was dating her mother, then began openly dating her at 16 when he was 41 May explain the control she has over him. We don’t know what went on between them while she was under 16? I do know I certainly wouldn’t want to be either one of them. They are very low class undesirable individuals imho. You did a perfect job on this video!

[@onebourbononescotch]

I have watched a few videos of a case study like this and right away so many things don't make sense in what the woman is saying.

[@candace289]

Great video Steve 👍

[@wadebowenfan6743]

Uh oh. Steve, you may have opened a can of worms here! But THANK YOU for this commentary!

[@livingbyfaithwithbenji8909]

Yes. T is for sure a walking dead man. Stage 3 esophageal cancer is terminal even with the best of care. My mom lived 18 mo after the surgery, chemo, radiation, etc. and the dr. Said he was amazed she lived that long. 10% die almost immediately after the surgery, which I expect in this case all things considered. I think at his age the wait and watch would have been a much better decision. Jmho

[@IFBBProYeo]

If anyone gaslights you, and tries to make you believe something ISN'T wrong when you know it is, RUN. Run, or leave them out completely. That is so awful!!!!!!

[@itsjustgran474]

Great video!

[@carolinegray3150]

I help my husband with his health and he helps me with mine

[@kimdinardo1870]

God bless him

[@miriamhavard7621]

I've had discussions of this nature with my husband. It's VERY important to have these discussions with one's family, close friends AND significant others.......💕

[@lightupfun5992]

Also social services and all the medical team should have provided them with all the supplies needed at home or made sure they would be sent asap. Where was their compassion. In many ways the health care field has turned into a business even going to see a doctor for a checkup I have experienced some that are cold and nurses unfriendly. Maybe TB will get better maybe not but he wanted to be home with CB and he seems in better spirits. Lets hope we are never faced with a major illness and find that your just a number on a chart. There was a few in the days of his tests and surgery who really showed compassion to TB and CB throughout it. Gosh just knowing someone cares helps them no matter the outcome. So look past your judgement and see the human side No ones lives are the same some go thru it with a breeze while others have had problems all throughout

[@victoriahanke1990]

Very eloquently put message. How kind of you. ♥️🕊🙏

[@barbswartz3022]

I'm getting sick of her complaining constantly. Just wat ched first night home. There were problems with discharge of my husband from rehab. Some difficulties during rehab and his hospital stay but everything didn't go wrong! And there were caring nurses at both places.

[@georgiestokie3325]

Fantastic video. Thank you for doing this. New subscriber! I'm sorry Marc has R.A I suffer from crohn's disease another autoimmune disease I take humira shots weekly and its keeping me stable for now has Marc tried it?

[@SmokeySteveAndMarc]

Hi and welcome! :-)

[@SmokeySteveAndMarc]

Marc is still working his way through different meds. Fun with side effects. Yay. :-)

[@georgiestokie3325]

The meds for autoimmune diseases are really brutal. I hope Marc finds something to bring him relief and stability 💜

[@SmokeySteveAndMarc]

@@georgiestokie3325 I believe the med he's taking now is Plaquenil. Coming onto it was AWFUL but so far it's been effective, and then the stray prednisone here and there :-)

[@georgiestokie3325]

Oh I'm glad hes found something that's working for him it's hard to get the right meds but when you do it makes a huge difference. I'm also on the devils tic tacs at the moment so have a huge moon face and sweats and cant stop eating hahaha but I'm doing good so that's all that matters!!

[@Larsernmarkable]

No truer sign that the holiday is over than the tree falling over.

[@summerday6714]

Great video you state it just as she is by the way I am proud to be a cockroach. Love u guys

[@MissMcPhoebe]

Okay..I went there. The hole is black and deep. She is having an on camera meltdown since he came home that is getting worse everyday. She seems to be a very bitter and entitled woman.

[@livingbyfaithwithbenji8909]

Yes and that is putting it mildly. The understatement of the year.

[@carolinegray3150]

I know who you are talking about

[@tigertalks1567]

Wow..you are smart!!! A regular slueth.

[@carolinegray3150]

Tiger talks troll

[@marysmith7093]

I was half way through the video before I realized it was not about you! :-) Sorry that your beautiful tree fell down. :-(

[@gloriaaguilar692]

Tough talks we have had. But getting legal documents taken care of... that is hard to get motivated to do.

[@IFBBProYeo]

Omg this is really sick....

[@Theresamarie-y8b]

I am Marc. Sans Steve.

[@juliewood4340]

‘what’

[@carolinegray3150]

Tiger talks,are you trying to be funny,it’s not working bye troll

[@sherrynunyobizness3053]

Sorry your tree fell over. I really enjoy giving your videos thumbs up but this time I gave it a thumbs down. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I hope you enjoy your extra days off. I’m excited to see what the New Year brings to all of us.

[@livingbyfaithwithbenji8909]

You should have given this one 100 thumbs up. He deserves them. He was very kind and respectful to the devil and her imp.

[@georgiestokie3325]

This is exactly everything I really want to say but I cant because I'm blocked 🙄 this video needs to be shared and seen by the subscribers who are just as delusional if not more so than these hypothetical ppl 🤷‍♀️

[@butterflywing4516]

I'm not sure it would do any good, Georgie... they see the same ridiculousness and dangerous decisions as the rest of us see and it doesn't compute what they're seeing. It *does* make a great case study. Sorry you're blocked... I think everyone is who doesn't bow down before the great hypothetical princess or send money or baubles. :-)

[@georgiestokie3325]

Butterfly wing. I agree it makes a great case study lol some of the comments from " fans " leave me speechless tbh. All my comments came from a good place, I spent 2007 until 2009 in hospital due to losing most of my bowel and being on a feed due to my illness. I wasnt nasty in my comments I just tried to help. I'm just left shaking my head 🤷‍♀️