Cassetteboy vs The Bloody Apprentice

If you watch this at work, one of you will get fired.
Follow us twits: / cassetteboy

[@iguiste23]

Don't ever underestimate me. I have a B in GCSE French, I know the words to candle in the wind, I won an egg and spoon race once.

[@user-hi4sm3ig5j]

I'm so close to a B in French. Not that I'm actually going to be successful at anything in my life.

[@cookiee45007]

Isaac Guiste ад ждет тебя

[@starry_ser]

iM3GTR i currently have an A in French. Don't underestimate me! *flips hair

[@ZinedinePrime]

This video is Gold 😂😂😂

[@OofOuch]

Oh shit, you should be in harvard

[@OfficialFBI]

This is 11 years old and I still find myself coming back to it

[@Dude0000]

Sums up the FBI pretty well in the age of the internet.

[@Fahrenheit-xf6cd]

Me too! I have introduced new people to it.

[@nalongbottom81]

Long before AI/ChatGPT being used now for audio Mashups.. CassetteBoy.. amazing effort and talent. :)

[@alext3811]

Almost got me. YT would give the offiical @ fbi (because you don't @ somebody randomly, much less an org/ govt agency), to the acutall FBI.

[@RegiyThornton]

When KZbin was all about funny stuff and no one had a clue

[@cadencegant3201]

"These days, Sir Alan is worth more than eight pounds" Stop I can only laugh so much

[@rhyswatkins7545]

And he recently sold computer giant Amstrad from the back of a van.

[@tyronedatmandome2295]

I wonder how many kids are still in that van.

[@wclifton968gameplaystutorials]

but was it a white van like the one Vikkstar 123 uses to pickup children to put in his basement...

[@wclifton968gameplaystutorials]

***** lol

[@CockneyRebel1979]

It's the truth though. He IS worth more than eight pounds. A lot bloody more! Ha-ha!

[@Felix-el2cw]

"In your CV what's the first thing you wrote" "I eat in a lot of italian restaurants" XD, I just died

[@user-hi4sm3ig5j]

I won an egg and spoon race once.

[@thomashaigh6098]

Congratulations

[@Labuenavidasurf]

Here in 2024 😂

[@adamcole4623]

Me too. 14 years and counting!

[@troo_story]

@@adamcole4623same same.

[@BastiPROTON]

"would you like to kiss me? Yes or no?" "No!" "Not no, yes."

[@Cwmbran1984]

"Do you want to kissy kissy my mouth, yes or no?" 😂😂😂😂

[@antzooma]

The Cuban jail line had me on the floor ahahaha

[@BossySwan]

*bloody*

[@sirrh9812]

Bleedin

[@A-Disappointed-Horse]

"In the losing team, one of you will get banged up in some Cuban jail somewhere" I just died.

[@steveharrison76]

"Quite frankly I'm shitting frying pans, cocktail sticks and things like that..." This never ever fails to make me piss my pants laughing. Love this vid. XD

[@MuffManMules]

Same

[@frankwhite987]

+Steve Harrison that's the new LOL pissed my pants laughing PMPL

[@James-vw8dv]

Love it

[@anorakus8272]

...one of my video machines...

[@KAHHHH8548]

Its not THAT funny, but I think alan sugar is funny as fuck anyway, thats why I watched this, out of interest

[@jakehyams8659]

"Tell us about pants man" "Good idea"

[@Scruffed]

I've seen this an unhealthy amount of times over several years. I still chuckle every time!

[@Fahrenheit-xf6cd]

I am still introducing people to it

[@rebeccatait4132]

"I'm certainly better than you tossers" "it's my birthday sir Alan" i lost it 😂😂

[@michaelthompson679]

+Rebecca Tait ur pretty

[@rebeccatait4132]

+Ron bat thanks I guess 😂

[@Bencozens]

+Rebecca Tait he's right

[@JamesBond-qi8me]

Rebecca Tait I love you

[@JamesBond-qi8me]

Rebecca Tait I love you 💖💟💞💕💝💗💓my name is Rohan

[@Undeadwolfy_]

"Sir Alan, I don't think I should be fired because I won't put my hand up your arse" "Oh... oohhhh, you're fired. Goodbye." Dead.

[@brickhead48]

The bit about shitting stuff is just made to perfection

[@chrisjohnson4165]

I'm shittin' frying pans and cocktail sticks, things like that.

[@Bart-xd5gg]

'this is what us British produce'

[@scottmurphy4278]

I'm not happy, because, all of it, went down the drain, and it's lost me money!

[@Participant616]

Time stamp that kind of comment, bitch

[@TerryTanktop]

That just flows magically. LOL. Laughed throughout.

[@mgh]

Gets me everytime, it's that type of video I always re-watch every couple of weeks hahaha. Brilliant.

[@Chaz.hands.]

Do you still rewatch it now?

[@chtholly8084]

Morata on a 6 month loan or re-instating Auba into the squad?

[@ayoungconservative1051]

Absolutely loving your new Arsenal career mode. Vieira is honestly the star of the show. Wish you all the best mate and good luck

[@ayoungconservative1051]

Absolutely loving your new Arsenal career mode. Vieira is honestly the star of the show. Wish you all the best mate and good luck

[@peterchuvalov]

"You are here to enhance some form of media career" - simply genius - summarizes the whole purpose of this show!

[@jakerobin1708]

That’s what it’s all about

[@UltimaPowers]

And yet the only one who made any kind of career after this was Katie "Awful Waste of Flesh" Hopkins.

[@borusa32]

'4 lollypops ,the unincycle....'-was crying at this point.

[@CockneyRebel1979]

I'm worried for him. He needs urgent medical attention. He's a sick man. What with that and his bloody frying-pans and cocktail-sticks! o.o

[@Rogerthatx10]

For some reason the "Thirty quid skirt" had me laughing so much lol.

[@fintanwatson8137]

1:00 "I eat in a lot of Italian restaurants": He visited my school today to tell Business Studies about being business and companies. Apparently he got no GCSE's 😂😂😂

[@omarhuda4997]

I found GCSE business studies too easy and boring

[@declangaming24]

1:09 this this not a football match

[@JMUDoc]

"Do you think that appeals to a woman?" "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" The man summed up in one sentence.

[@sillygoose635]

@@yhyh8990 it does

[@feathered666]

"Frankly, I'm shitting Frying Pans" - Gem

[@CockneyRebel1979]

At least you're only shitting frying-pans. Poor Sir Alan's shitting cocktail-sticks as well. :(

[@samr5043]

"Don't ever ever underestimate me, I've got a B in GCSE French, I know the words to Candle In The Wind. I won an egg and spoon race once! I drink a thousand cups of coffee a day! My car can go one hundred miles per hour! Nice!" my favourite part :)

[@mijaco999]

"I don't think I should be fired because I won't put my hand up your arse" 'Ohh. Ooohh. Your fired.' XD

[@graceygrumble]

I very rarely laugh out loud when I am watching something alone but this was hysterical. Literally cried.

[@Daves_Cave]

I can watch it over and over again. I'm still in tears

[@knightwish5175]

"Quite frankly, I'm shitting frying pans, cocktail sticks and things like that!" (Slight migraine) "I'm not happy because all of it went down the drain... AND IT'S LOST ME MONEY!"

[@Sheena1234ization]

so funny, someone wants a TV covered in poo xD

[@declangaming24]

4:19 he likes to loose money Scottish baby clothes

[@fatscarce3967]

"This is what us British produce!" dead

[@Vonatar74]

"The thing is, this is nothing at all to do with business, it don't mean jack shit, quite frankly. You're here to enhance some sort of media career. That's what it's all about. This is an audition, you know, for a job in a television company." lol

[@iamlegend68]

Pretty much sums up the show. Although, The US version is just unbearable. Some pompus uptight nyc prick who uses the show as a PR tool for companies. Every episode see's some exec from some mediocre company ask candidates to do something for their company. The UK version focuses on business basics and tests candidates skills in a variety of ways. Presentation, selling, negotiation etc. Besides Sugar is much more entertaining than that racist "cutthroat" Donald Trump.

[@foxybingo1112]

Vonatar Cough cough Katie Hopkins

[@maximthefox]

@@iamlegend68 OMG this is the most perfect comment from the past I ever read. How are you feeling about the modern day buddy?

[@Daves_Cave]

It's funny cos it's true

[@caithurley5589]

Definitely worth watching again when it's been so long you've forgotten why you were crying with laughter the last time you saw it.

[@polarytp2349]

"These days, Sir Alan's worth more than 8 pounds."

[@FlorenceOrchard]

Anyone watching in 2016 and still finding it hilarious

[@rynando7734]

yes

[@RandomCentralStation]

i just found this and im crying.

[@RoamingAdhocrat]

In 2023 here.

[@emer157]

Whazzzup to all those watching this in 1998

[@King1559]

2018 and it's. Still. So. Fucking. Funny.

[@wilberforce95]

"In comes the most important man of the day." brilliant

[@KyleAButler]

12 years ago the arse hole jokes were the funniest part of it. Now the bit where Lord Sugar explain why the whole show is a load of bollocks had me rolling.

[@sakikogookheng]

Yeah, I didn't really appreciate the "you're just here to further my media career part" when I was a kid watching it.

[@xilent234]

That section about Lord Suger's willie size completely killed me. Great job!

[@alfiewoolard2598]

"The bottom line is, as a businessman, I've got a problem. I've got a problem with the hole in my bloody arse. There's been a lot of interesting stuff come out, some of it surprised me: a full gourmet dinner, Scottish baby clothes, there's green stuff, 600 pounds of a fish, some electronic item, 4 lollipops, a unicycle, one of my video machines. It's the biggest load of toot I've seen in my whole life. This is what us British produce!"

[@Chaz.hands.]

Haven’t watched this in years & I am absolutely crying laughing! 🤣🤣🤣

[@MistaMase102]

"i'm shitting frying pans, cocktail sticks and things like that!"

[@i_wouldprefer_not_to1196]

Sir Alan jumping up and down in his sparkly knickers all day long has me helpless with laughter 😂

[@conster63]

"Quite frankly, I'm shitting frying pans" HAHAHAHA

[@StonyRC]

A work of pure genius. Laughed until I couldn't breathe.

[@DelosFive]

Surely this is the reason KZbin exists. Still the funniest video I've ever seen.

[@DaBIONICLEFan]

2:54 was really well done

[@obidiahlittlewood7806]

Thats how it is in the episode...its not edited. I think its when sir alan says something about "one of nicks dvds"

[@DaBIONICLEFan]

Obidiah Littlewood Haha! Nick Hewer is a legend, he's casually funny on everything he does.

[@hansgruber788]

***** You won't believe this but I actually saw him driving a blue Jag. A friend shouted at me from across the street and I caught him.

[@Here4Hummus]

"In comes, the most important man of the day" and "banged up in some cuban jail somewhere" are lines that me and my mates still quote to this day xD

[@hotstitch1]

His little head in his hands after the shitting stuff sent me to hysteria it was a wonderful trip. You genius!

[@thecorbynator907]

I have a job at offensive and I find this McDonalds.

[@amightyatom]

And I find this job I have at a McDonald's offensive

[@thefossa7868]

Offensive to Yoda that comment. Plagiarism I find ... Grammar you try. Succeed you won’t.

[@rustedthunder6488]

Do or Do Not, there is no try.

[@ollie4147]

the bit where he was talking about all he things coming out of his arse made me laugh so hard i actually died

[@bigalgoodall]

I've just been watching you on the BBC News. I had to re-watch this classic. Keep up the good work :)

[@andyenglish3646]

Me too mate. I'm glad I checked the full video out, it was hilarious haha

[@magneticman245]

Same for me, couldn't resist :)

[@veritybeattie9561]

Same!

[@paulaward4454]

Check out "Cassetteboy vs The News" and "David Cameron's School Days" Of course, the BBC didn't show those ones ;D

[@iguiste23]

It's been said you're to drink upto 300 units every 45 minutes, then stop off for a beer on the way home. This is already a guideline in Scotland. I died then being a everynight beer lover.

[@sadiah8060]

Shitting frying pans and coctail sticks 😂😂😂

[@DiabolicalPaperClip]

'It's not correct, Sir Alan.'

[@Dreadpirateflappy]

"sir alan, I don't think I should be fired because I won't put my hand up your arse" This made me hysterical...

[@theako999]

"Banged up in some Cuban jail somewhere" Hahahah

[@lukespendy]

(4:10) Interesting things coming out of Lord Sugars backside: - 4 lollipops - A unicycle - Video machines Great Vid! xD

[@grahammcdonald]

All these years on, still the best

[@SJKPJR007]

Thirteen years late to the party on this but I'm still "shitting frying pans" with laughter. Love it!

[@lukepinnington7944]

I was crying at £8 haha

[@EclipseOfTsuki93]

"One of you will get banged up in some Cuban jail line" made me piss myself laughing. Why can't we have someone with the intellect of Alan Sugar running the Apprentice in America?

[@MrBooojangles]

Alan Sugar is Sid James from carry on films, LOL.

[@TheMushtyroo]

Sir Alan reminds me of Nookie bear! :)

[@MrBooojangles]

TheMushtyroo Yeah that as well. XD

[@cosmicjenny4508]

AMSTRAD I *AM* a *S*-id James lookalike, although *TRAD*-itionally, he didn’t have a beard.

[@flappospammo]

i've watched this at least twenty times and it's still utterly brilliant a masterpiece

[@Lauzenger]

Even all these years later, me and my mates still reference this video 😂 I was about 14-15years old when I first saw this, and as soon as he mentions the “hole in my bloody arse” then proceeding to say what’s been coming out of it, fkin Scottish baby clothes 😭 honestly kills me. I don’t laugh as hard at things much these days but this video always brings out the cackle in me that it did back in the 2010’s.. Ahh such good times of all of cassette boys videos, a genius who was way ahead of his time! 🤣

[@megan9249]

I still watch this everytime I need a laugh 13 years after it came out!🤣🤣

[@DanielSadjadian]

I have never laughed so much in my life!!! So fucking funny haha.

[@lionheart6229]

I cant stop fucking laughing and its hurting.

[@wrenclark4907]

“Packaged on the most horrible way” always fucking KILLS me

[@flarg26]

"Would you like to kissy kissy my lips?" "Yes" "I like that answer, your hired" LOL wouldn't it be so much better if all TV was like this?

[@FoxRavan]

Absolutely dead!! 🤣🤣🤣 funniest video ever. "Do you want to kissy kissy my mouth?" I love the lips 😂😂

[@SummerStrawberry]

Nearly 5 years on and this still kills me.

[@RegiyThornton]

14 now 😂

[@amosthree]

I love how this is less heavily edited than the Apprentice normally is.

[@AutisticNotWeird]

13 years on. Still bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody brilliant.

[@FennFennFenn]

Bleedin'

[@HardcoreHeartChris]

Imagining Lord Sugar in sparkling knickers. My life is complete.

[@nezkeys79]

"quite frankly I hope you're signing on at the end of this" LMAO

[@niptodstan]

Two words....Fucking hilarious. Cassetteboy should be knighted.

[@JudasFm]

I only just found this thanks to Lord Sugar's book, "Unscripted: My Ten Years in Telly." He described this clip as "Unbelievably funny" and he was right 🤣🤣🤣

[@Rossy_LUFC]

"I eat in alot of Italian restauraunts" Sir Alan- "Congratulations -_____-"

[@garethgregorysongwritermus4518]

"shitting frying pans!" 😂😂😂

[@getzata96]

ALL OF IT WENT DOWN THE DRAIN AND IT LOST ME MONEY :@

[@AlbertBowdenOfficial]

To be honest i cant see how this is edited anyway. He is just like this.

[@saltysponge9965]

I thought that unicycle I brought off ebay smelt abit funny.....

[@agentsmidt3209]

"I don't give a shit"...truer words have never been spoken.

[@herluka]

I'm glad I'm watching this on my own otherwise somebody would be calling an ambulance for my "weird seizure" which is my consecutive fits of laughter over this 🤣🤣🤣

[@TheMusicalElitist]

"I don't think I should be fire cos I won't put my hand your arse" "You're fired" LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@andyj1288]

Just seen you on BBC news! Congratulations for getting your message out

[@TheToonStudios]

"Let's get on with it, shall we? Every week I'm gonna set you business tasks, one team will win and then the losing team, one of you will get banged up in some Cuban jail somewhere. But the thing is, in fact, this is nothing at all to do with business, it don't mean jacksh*t quite frankly."

[@benflanagan7354]

"eight pounds". alan you lightweight im worth £9.50

[@joffonon]

I go years between watches of this, and cry with laughter each time. Also makes you realise how much more swearing there was in its early years before the move to BBC1.

[@limadelta123]

“N- well not “no”, yes!” Is now a common phrase of mine 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@draw4kicks]

Actually got tears in my eyes from laughing so much. Someone should really tweet this to Alan Sugar...

[@ItsCurtis94]

"As a businessman I've got a problem... A problem with the bloody hole in my arse." Casetteboy you are a genius.

[@_v-.]

I get a proper abs workout watching this😂😂😂😂

[@danbh84]

Sir Alan Sugar’s on television 🤣🤣🤣

[@s1lentw1nter]

Stuart Baggs: I eat in a lot of Italian restaurants....... You don't anymore mate

[@Bruss390]

😭😭

[@l8631]

Oof

[@jnicholls21]

That's not Stuart Baggs.

[@clareb1565]

I'm sure the guy who actually said that is still eating in a lot of Italian restaurants

[@TravisGloverPianist]

I just died ROFL

[@fogzax]

I can't watch the apprentice without thinking about this video - especially the bloody theme song :)

[@TheEndiPL]

From tower bridge right up to Westminstet xDD

[@Ardrid_]

I was shown this at school by my business teacher.

[@Yeorgey]

I'm shitting frying pans. Cocktail sticks.

[@mariea82]

🤣🤣

[@shay5518]

2:31 "You'll get a job at McDonalds!" * cuts to Katie Hopkins * 🤣🤣

[@HollyParish]

"Would you like to kiss me?" "No...no." "Not no, yes." "No, no, I won't." Each time I watch this it gets funnier, I swear.

[@KNIGH7]

This bloody masterpiece has now amassed 6.9M views.

[@000015324]

The cuban jail cell bit gets me literally every time.