Naval Chapo Investigative Service | Chapo Trap House | Episode 549 (UNLOCKED)

[@chumbucket6989]

my respect for navy SEALs was secured in 2005 after seeing The Pacifier in theaters

[@thomasgiles2876]

I think we all know that Osama was snapping one last one off to his favorite piece of art, Bible Black, when the lights went out.

[@CH4R10T_TV]

Osama said futanari rights.

[@zainmudassir2964]

You sir have great taste

[@echospecter2450]

"futas aren't gay" last words of Osama bin laden (allegedly)

[@arempy5836]

Quran Black

[@bitteralmonds666]

Osama was busy being insulted by the Islamic depictions in the Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure OAVs from the 90s ☪️🥷🏽

[@FirstnameLastname-kn5sw]

SEALS exist primarily NOT to conduct special operations but to advertise a lifestyle brand. A brand that makes it easier to recruit young men into the Marine Corps who not only conduct actual combat operations and invasions with a real impact on geopolitics but would also be difficult to recruit for were it not for cultural productions like HALO, Lone Survivor and Navy SEALS, because Marines are underpaid meat for the grinder cannon fodder whose job it is to be the very best at dying. It's not a coincidence that these "secret black ops" people are plastered all over culture. Their value is not in conducting difficult high reward missions, that's children's fiction. They are a PsyOp on Highschool boys to make them bleed gallons into the sand for a thimble of oil cause they wanted to be Master Chief or Chris Kyle. The Operator is a Marlboro Man.

[@joshuamarx8209]

If you're talking about Late Cold War Era till today, yes I would agree with this 100%.

[@roarkedunn2688]

"The very best at dying", compared to the insurgent and civilian casualties they are doing a real shit job at that. So much for America being #1! 7,000+ killed since 2001. 30,000+ committed suicide after the fact. 177,000+ deaths between Afganistani , Pakistani, Iraqi, and Syrian service members. In 2020, there was 20,000+ murders in the US.

[@roarkedunn2688]

Did you know more people drown in water than on land?

[@ДушманКакдела]

Read Society of the Spectacle.

[@alexandriac6641]

I think Call of Duty is a much better example than Halo but otherwise I agree.

[@CH4R10T_TV]

Finding out that Osama Bin Laden was a fan of Naruto was a merging of two parts of my childhood memory that didn't feel like they could be merged but were.

[@xinic5]

Was that real though, or more made up shit. Lol I heard they walked in on him watching Dragonball Z

[@cartercartercartercar]

i think those hard drives were in use by a number of his guys. they also found ps1 games and lady gaga

[@geodav5700]

They also found a che guevara book and a feminist manifesto.....

[@0The_Farlander0]

I didn't expect this episode to be triggering to me as a navy vet but you'd be surprised how much of this horseshit is rampant all through the military. Numerous times you get matched up with someone for the pt test and the first thing you ask them is "how many you need" which is asking how many pushups or situps are they trying to get to pass the test at the level they want. As long as you're both lying then no one gets in trouble. Same with upper enlisted just getting an automatic pass on things like that because it's just how things are done when it comes to important people. I'm not bitter over harmless nonsense like that but the bureaucracy and inability to escape did cause me a permanent disability-level anxiety disorder so it's not exactly a healthy place to work on the best of days. I mean, mea culpa of course, I'm not proud of my time or snything, but shit was not what i was expecting going in and concepts like honor, courage, and commitment (values adopted after the Tailhook incident) don't mean jack shit beyond getting you yelled at if you don't say them loud enough when prompted

[@pizzacheeseman2854]

I was in the Navy in Virginia Beach and sometime around 2016 or so “party like team 10” became a pretty universally understood joke/code

[@jonathannathan1754]

Gotta respect Red. Murking people for the love of the game. Not trying to get book deals or sell T-shirts. He’s still out there just waxing dudes.

[@rileyrobertson7067]

Holy fuck-mothering shit. Just learned that a retired Red Squad operator works in Hollywood. Firstly, he does *truly* seem to be a VERY talented, accomplished & respected Stuntman. HOWEVER, the synopsis of his upcoming directorial debut- "A womanizing man is drawn into a game of sexual kink with a powerfully erotic woman. Only then does he learn that she is in fact a post op trans-woman, and that as a boy she was his Schoolyard Bully."(!!!!) Passing no judgment on the man, but really REALLY hope that Chapo sees this flick and manage not to pull their own eyes out before reviewing

[@pizzacheeseman2854]

Lmao what’s the name that’s amazing

[@Eamonshort1]

wow that description is hilarious, genuinely thank you for posting that or I'd never have found this sure-to-be masterpiece

[@michaelreich9714]

Gentlemen, At the time of the revealing of CPO Gallagher's crimes, I was shocked, but not surprised, to learn that he came from my home town of Fort Wayne, Indiana . Even went to the high school that my older sister attended. Fortunately, my parents came to their senses and spared myself and my younger sister from any further Catholic indoctrination. So, what kind of community produces an Eddie Gallagher? Locally, Fort Wayne is referred to as the "City of Churches". And yes, they are everywhere. Also referred to as the "Summit City" because of it's geographical elevation in the county. Still....very flat and overrun with corn and soybean hybrids. We have a joke here. Q: What don't you find in Indiana? A: Indians. Now why would that be? Mostly because of the city's namesake, General "Mad" Anthony Wayne. An American soldier of Irish descent and a genocidal maniac. Our main drag through "downtown" is named after John Calhoun, even though there is compelling evidence that he never stepped foot here. In addition to those accolades, Fort Wayne was a "Black Codes" city. Currently, we have large pick up trucks that "burn coal" while flying Rebel Battle Flags and "Biden Lost" flags. And that's how you get an Eddie Gallagher.

[@Speedojesus]

the lines that that at 46:09 are some of the most insane shit literally like some Dracula Flow type shit I belly laughed from it

[@IdiotDoomSpiral69]

rootin tootin shootin frog man

[@russlcorey]

Is that his tinder bio?

[@lifeisgood12341]

My dad was in the navy back somtime in the 90s he was physically fit enough they tried to recruit him for the seals either he had met some of them before or hung out with them as part of the recruiting but my dad turned them down because"they were f*ing crazy people"

[@Backinblackbunny009]

Every one in the military without massive inferiority complexes knows this about the sf freaks

[@davidhill2020]

54:45 The term "canoe," in this context, probably started with the movie Tombstone, which is actually an excellent movie that I like a lot.

[@nicolev2028]

I’ve always wondered why I never really liked most movies about Navy Seals. I mean it’s propaganda duh but this is something else

[@sydt7104]

I recommend reading David Philipps's book Alpha: Eddie Gallagher and the War for the Soul of the Navy SEALs It discusses the case in incredible detail Eddie Gallagher even came out with his own book: The Man in the Arena. It is an atrocious book, but if you really want to get in the man's head and see how he thinks, then check it out. From your library. Don't spend money on this guy.

[@BoneMachine1443]

the highest honour to which a troop can aspire is being immortalized in a video game about Mickey Rourke's hairy balls

[@joshuamarx8209]

Yep.

[@rileyrobertson7067]

Fun nostalgia blast is that old "song" someone stitched together of Rourkes dialog in that game. They just lay a terrible out of box beat under it and sort of choose pieces that half rhymed... And its an unironic peace if modern art

[@sydt7104]

51:33 that was technically Britt Slabinski who asked for the head on the platter. Wyman Howard III (a blueblood if there ever was one) is the one who provided the tomahawks through solicited donations. Eddie Gallagher would later buy a tomahawk and carry one with him on his last tour overseas, because he wanted to be like seal team 6.

[@commenter381]

At 100k subs, Matt will stream Katamari Damacy while seated in a gamer chair. Let's gooooo!

[@adameanglin]

Didn't mention Bissonette used a pen name that sounded like the journalist who wrote Blackhawk Down, which became a bestseller and Hollywood blockbuster.

[@alexanderfuchs8742]

Why didn't Felix remember that Brace said he wanted to be on the SEAL episode when they did Manderlay?

[@Jakeurb8ty82]

Segal heads don't even mention Timeless #1 SEAL movie: Under Siege

[@matttriano]

Story of GRIT

[@williamburns7472]

Delta Force captured Noriega SEALs still gonna take credit though

[@bengunderman5382]

The SEALS aren't really even the best per se. They're just have the most publicity hype compared to Delta Force, or the SAS/SBS for example.

[@Praisethesunson]

They are murderers though. You have to give them that.

[@ZombieLincoln666]

don’t forget airforce combat controllers

[@herecomesaregular8418]

@@ZombieLincoln666 Or Air Force Pararescue. They don't call it "Super Man School" for nothing.

[@herecomesaregular8418]

Not that it matters what any of these chuds think, but from what I've gathered in speaking with folks from all over the special operations community, those that weren't SEALs hated working with SEALs. They were invariably full of themselves, whilst also being the least organized and disciplined of the bunch. Every one of them believing themselves to be far more capable than they actually were. The guys that other units liked working and cross-training with? Army Special Forces (Green Berets) always ranked high. Mild-mannered dudes who just knew their stuff. Known as the "quiet professionals" within the spec ops "community". Most already had full careers in the conventional military before trying out for SF, so they were generally more mature than their SEAL counterparts, (SEALs can, and usually do, tryout right after leaving Navy basic training). These are the type of guys who might accomplish a mission and let the SEALs take credit after the fact (and supposedly have done). Air Force Special Operations (CCT, TACP, PJ's, 24th STS, etc.) Air Force is the butt of jokes within the military because most personnel are non-combat, but those that choose special operations find that the USAF conducts the most grueling schools available. (Note that I didn't say "some of", I said "*the* most".) This coupled with high testing standards across the USAF and you end up with commandos of above average intelligence. If they had to work with conventional forces, they preferred Marines. I suppose the reasons would be obvious. Marksmanship, CQB, and small unit tactics are taught at higher levels to conventional Marines than they are to conventional forces of other branches. As for Delta Force, they were spoken about with hushed reverence. Referred to simply as "the unit" within the community, most even within special operations don't know a whole lot about them. Heard one former Green Beret refer to them as "the closest that a human being can get to a real life Jedi", and he was only half-joking. Everyone knows about SEAL team 6 because of the Bin Laden raid, but to give you a sense of Delta's level within the community, a guy leaving Delta for Team 6 would be considered a serious downgrade. At any rate, fuck the military industrial complex, and most of these other dudes have also been known to love themselves a good war crime, so it's whatever.

[@Eamonshort1]

goddamn, that bit @46:10 to @47:00 is pure, filtered, tripple distilled cringe

[@Dingleberrycrunch36]

How do these professional killers sound like boys?

[@Baseballnfj]

MACV-SOG? Extremely important to understand the genesis of these types of people. Also the British have a direct equivalent to the seals.... Special Boat Service that were not mentioned.

[@mikelY0]

Mentioned briefly at about 14m15s

[@JakeFallis75]

Kay Pollard Griggs warned us in 1998. Who listened?

[@joshuamarx8209]

Who?

[@GrinninPig]

You said doody

[@Abrady2k3]

Redman > method man

[@j0hnicide]

jocko willink moment

[@GrayMansEndlessIncite]

Men don't fight fights they can't win, not only is it against the instict of self-preservation but those who pick losing battles arent seen or heard from much since they usually end up dead, crippled, or imprisoned. So its really not surprising Americas 'best' soldiers love to kill defenseless people, theres no easier fight to win than that!

[@MrKYT-gb8gs]

I wish this was a lighter episode lol

[@gofigure4198]

Everyone in Afghanistan doesn't carry a gun like in America LMAO

[@havanaradio]

wrong - guns, in particular russian guns, are a major part of afghan culture. wall hanging in my local afghan restaurant is bordered by embroidered little ak rifles around an agricultural/hunting scene.

[@utkarsh2746]

@@havanaradio It is more like rural area home protection thing, not open-carry. In most cases it will be a double-barrel rifle, the Kalashnikovs aren't that easily available anywhere and where it is you might get stabbed for the gun itself. Even in rural India many families have rifles, nothing like Texas tho.

[@havanaradio]

@@utkarsh2746 a double barrel rifle huh? (i know you meant shotgun)

[@bitteralmonds666]

Are there crap0 chap house pins? 🎖🧐🤔

[@reinarforeman6518]

No, that's just for the larp-ing Navy rapists

[@feydrautha012]

I think Matt got some kind of Purple Heart Bandaid for when his chair exploded.

[@michaelreich9714]

Indeed there are. But I sincerely doubt that you would qualify.

[@elumayo4090]

Really love their fake laughs

[@andymilic4093]

There's a great three hour well 👍 interview with Eddie Gallagher,done on Mike Ritland ' s podcasts on KZbin, called Mike Drop " He's a famous dog trainer who did several tour's himself & was there for some of the premier missions, like Bagdad & taking Ng Saddam's palace ,& several others of note. He Has a great interviewer style & really digs into the charges/ allegations vs Gallagher, I'm fairly certain none of you have seen his interview,u might be surprised of you're view on the Trial and his explanation of events.

[@andymilic4093]

And what happened after they perjured themselves and withdrew all their testimony?? U Guy s can be pathetic,watch mike drop podcast with Mike Rutland & his 3 hour interview with Gallagher

[@rileyrobertson7067]

The case didn't fall apart due to a lack of evidence suggesting that Gallagher was a disgusting lunatic...Just turned out that even his "Brothers", whom he'd disgusted enough to get flipped on by, had ALSO done some insane shit. There's really nothing to suggest at all that Gallagher was framed or innocent, other than his own word 🙄

[@MyBeautifulDarkTwistedFantasy6]

One day I’ll get to you, and teach you how to be a holy cow

[@joshuamarx8209]

And because of that Harry Cary is smiling in Hell my friend..

[@michaelreich9714]

@@joshuamarx8209 Brilliant