Childhood Trauma and the Process of Healing (by Daniel Mackler)

[@laraoneal7284]

I believe ongoing depression is actually extended grieving not only for what was done to you but what could have been if we were not traumatized.

[@lyndalfaithholmes1279]

Very true.

[@pod9363]

That’s incredibly frustrating. I want this to be over. I want it to all come out immediately. I don’t want any more of my life taken up by this shit.

[@tnt01]

@@pod9363 find a good therapist and do your inner work. It is a process that takes time but can be done.

[@SantaFeSuperChief1]

I think it could also be a block in one's ability to grieve. Not being able to feel your feelings, so instead you push them down and feel nothing.

[@oldvlognewtricks]

@@pod9363 If you have a fire alarm going off and your main thought is wanting the noise to go away and let you get on with your day, you risk missing the fire that caused the alarm to go off.

[@mstipich1]

Finally 1 therapist that speaks passionately and enthusiastically.

[@timdetmers3240]

I'm in my sixties and I am only now becoming fully aware of the terrible things that were done to me as a child. Both parents were narcissistic, my father more so than my mother. Both are dead now, but I am realizing what a cruel, self centered, narcissistic, non-empathetic, controlling, unloving man he was. I am so very very angry at him, I can truthfully say that I hate him, but I view this as a good thing. How could he treat me the way that he did? I know that he was wounded by his family, but that is no excuse. I don't know how this is going to end, I do know I will hate him until the day I die. I do love myself, that is why I hate my father, because he was so cruel to me. As long as I did not love myself, I did not hate my father, but those days are long gone, thank goodness.

[@Virtualmint]

I love to hear this. I come from a conventional, supposedly happy family, so I'm supposed to be happy. Only I'm not. I'm supposed to love my parents, only I don't. And no one around me seems to understand. They say I come from a good happy family, I should be grateful for what I got, and what an ungrateful daughter I am for doubting my parents. Well, I think my parents have been pretty horrible to me. They never wanted me to be me, they wanted me to behave, and were both quite abusive to me (especially my mother). They're really not interested in knowing me. More than that, they want to destroy who I am, because it's too hard for them to see me be more free than them. It's hard for them to see that they failed in making me the child that they desperately wanted me to be, in order to fullfill their own needs. So, I am 100% behind what Daniel says. It is true that the norm is fucked up. The norm wants children to be anything other than themselves, and that is wrong.

[@daisy7066]

Yes, it's funny how people collude in the family myth... they don't even want to know what really happened.... it's like social conscience & morality has been temporarily suspended just for you to service the myth.

[@mariahconklin4150]

Yep! I don’t even get invited to my family events anymore all because I call people out on their bullshit then when that happens the family hangs up on me. They want to be fake and continue to be in denial and I am not. I’ll be alone this Thanksgiving and I’m okay with that. My boyfriend is spending time with his mother it was very hard not to take that personally but it is understandable sense most of his extended family clings to craziness. The two of them is all they have so if I’m gonna be selfish about that then that’s pretty sad on my pet. I’m gonna take this time to spend Thanksgiving alone and not stuck in denial.

[@laraoneal7284]

@@mariahconklin4150. Ur the scapegoat in ur family and so am I. I’m the one also who called out the BS. I went no contact over 20 years ago. I just don’t want to be around any more of the toxicity bc it continues to open the old wounds. They are obviously fine not seeing me either bc I haven’t heard anything from them. Blessings to you. Be safe .

[@rosecastelao6490]

That's it! I could no longer stay dissociated. I'm in the suffering stage now, and quite depressed, sometimes suicidal. This video has given me hope. I look forward to the grieving stage, although I suspect I've started doing a little bit of it already. Thank you for this video.

[@megamondocane]

I was put in an orphanage when I was 3 months old. I stayed there around 3 years after I was adopted by a couple. My adoptive father didn't want to adopt me. Is my adoptive mother who wanted and forced the adoptive father to accept me. I paid for that all my childhood. My adoptive father was addicted to alcohol, arguing with the adoptive mother( she used to have a big mouths in all moments). So they were fighting and many times, too many times, for avoiding to fight between them I was their punching bag. It was the time, in my childhood, when I was locking my self in a storage/kitchen room where I was crying hours and hours without any particular reason. Apart of the alcohol addiction he was, also, a very primitive person. He never knew how to built a parent-children relation. I was sure that my life will be much better. When my adoptive father died I was happy.After his death the adoptive mother started to drink more and more, remarry from a months to another. She tried to put me out from elementary school( I was 13 years old), wanted to marry me and send my to work in a factory. I lied her about going in a technical school and I want to high school. She started to curst me and at this moment she told me I'm not her natural son, that I was adopted and she doesn't want to support me. When I was 15 years old, due to the nightmare life at home, I was begging the managers from some orphanages to take back but was not possible. When I was 16 years old I was put is psychiatric clinic. One night, after almost 50 years later, I had a nightmare in which the adopting mother was entering in my room with her black burning eyes. I woke up SCARIED and couldn't sleep all the ninth. I had this nightmare after I was 60 years old and after living almost 6 years in a war zone( Iraq). In that moment I realised the deep trauma that I've lived all this years.Sorry for the long confession.

[@insideout316]

Thank you for this video. I am currently processing my trauma. I even had to separate from my family to help with my healing process. True healing is defiantly not easy but I am a better me because I dared to face my trauma. Your video is confirmation

[@chime-girl]

I have found Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA), EMDR, Inner Child and Somatic Experiencing Therapy have been really good modalities in getting the support in going deep and doing the work, to be fantastic modalities. When he spoke about the importance of journaling, I found that journaling with a pen and paper; the act of actually letting the feelings move through your body releases the grief and trauma. As a body worker / massage therapist, one thing that is left out of trauma work is actually bringing it back to the body and allowing it to become unstuck, I believe strongly in what Daniel Mackler is advocating for and I also think that you need support with fellow travelers while taking the inward journey so that you don't go it alone. Just my two cents.

[@adcap631]

agree 100%. i've been doing body work for years, unwinding by breathing deeply and opening up the childhood trauma, connecting with feelings of pain, grief, rage and vulnerability to name just a few! exhausting, but that's what I've been holding inside. now expanding into a more authentic me, along with the vomiting and screaming.

[@angelsrosena]

People often ask me why I don’t want kids instead of asking themselves why they want them. What a being video, thanx a lot.

[@fknMutt23]

This man has just described what I've been feeling about people my whole life. Good to there are others tired of the denial. Thanks for this!

[@makaylahollywood3677]

It's Saturday evening, and this has been the best part of my night. Thank you.

[@ericbray4201]

It's interesting how as you begin to grow healthier you start to lose friendships that were based upon a false sense of self; so part of the healing process is embracing solitude and willingness to bring truth to your relations despite the cost.

[@Dejeunelle100]

It is interesting that you say this because since I personally have moved away from my inner grieving and trauma (though still some to work upon) I realized how many friendships were based on a false self that I was so unaware of for most of my younger life that I had not even realized that the adult I had become was not a person who was true to myself. I felt I had to be almost perfect to be 'loved' and as a result I was not really living in a reality..but a world where I was acting out the role which I thought most people would find acceptable.As I realized this and healed I found I spent more time in solitude, happier with my own company than being my 'false' self who I had been with my friends for years. I dropped them gradually and they could not understand why..but now I am at a place where I am finding it hard to be close friends with anyone as I always feel I have to 'act' out the role of the perfect person to be accepted by them. They do not expect this..I expect it of myself due in part to my parents not accepting me for who I was and due to my mother inparticularly, actively criticizing me and putting me down. One comment from my mother's sister set me on my healing path..she said 'Your mother has never been a well woman' and before that moment in time I had always been feeling I fell short in her eyes and therefore there was something inherently bad about me. It took that one comment to help start my healing process that had largely been inflicted by my mother and my brother who had believed my mothers words and prejudged me, and my father who was busy being agreeable with all she said as he had suffered so badly from her several nervous breakdowns and depressions. The sad thing is that we seem to go through life either inflicting damage to others or inflicting it on ourselves. Enlightenment comes too late in most people's lives for them to fully enjoy that precious time! So my advice would be to listen to this video and start your healing now :)

[@tnt01]

100%

[@soulofaphoenix]

After many years of living in the "death" of my instincts and values to survive, I am returning to that innocence of that child-like state after having mental health professionals demand that I go back to the lies and denial to keep them comfortable. I refuse to deny and lie about the truths within my spirit and body. Amazing how society does not like this. They prefer to stay in their lies to go with the flow instead of living with integrity. I agree with you!! Thanks for the video!

[@vouquevou]

I was severely abused phisycally by my father! My house was like a mental hospital, everybody pretending we were a happy family! Except myself! For a reason, the only way to 'survive' (not losing my soul into the denial labyrinth!) was standing by my father! The rest of the family considered myself a 'rebel", as I was the black cheep in the group, what I believed I was for many years!

[@KarynKlaireKoski]

Excellent. You managed to condense a lifetime of learning into one video. I am a researcher who is healing thru my work, and I stumbled upon your video. That's my addiction~chronically helping others, because it's unacceptable (in my world) to address my own emotional trauma, so I do empathetically. I come from that 1% of severe emotional trauma, and other people's tragedies have triggered severe states of mind in me. I never knew, until someone told me I was suffering from PTSD. Thank you.

[@laraoneal7284]

Daniel we are so rare bc so few work this hard to heal. You are so so special and such an encouragement to me to never stop growing.

[@RadicalAwesomeness]

It's so freeing to actually hear somebody talk about these things. THANK YOU! Much love to you man. You're one cool dude.

[@paulaokane5088]

Daniel, Thank you for being willing to be courageously vulnerable and sharing your truth. I take comfort and strength from your testimony, your truthfulness encourages me to continue the path of recovery.

[@ClearTheRubble7]

Dream analysis is also one of the best tools I've ever used. It circumvents denial, shows you the truth of yourself in no uncertain terms. Through them, I learned where my fears of deep water and spiders came from. They pointed out my pent-up anger, and where my problems with self-discipline came from (I saw "discipline" as punishment, because that's how my dad angrily used the word: "I'm gonna teach you some discipline!"). Excellent video.

[@laraoneal7284]

Our parents betrayed us in every way imaginable. They never let us be who we were . We were there to meet THEIR NEEDS. They never met ours except for the minimal needs food, shelter, education.

[@marciestoddard730]

my mother intellectually abused me, didn;t teach me to do basic things or about finances, etc. didn't allow me to take care of myself, so i had to teach myself. she didn't even provide basic needs like how to use a bank card or hook up electricity in a new apartment.

[@pehestnaes]

It is healing just to hear you speak in this way! Thank you!

[@yolandakoeninger1875]

I agree with alot of what I heard. Writing has been good for me since I was in elementary school. I felt isolated from many children and had problems with my memory, I learned later in life. At 56, I'm still healing from much repressed memory, and I understand my parents did the best they could, and know they suffered alot of abuse and trauma in their past. In the 1950's 1960's, there wasn't alot around about abuse and all the traumatic pain that children, teens and adults. Thanks for sharing.

[@davidwood321]

I have fond this video amazing and at the right time. I'm feeling that terror, and horror, and pain of my childhood as I try to process and heal. It's scary because I don't know when it will end. But at least it's real. It's the real me. Thank you for making the video Daniel, great Christmas Day viewing. Lol.

[@claudiaolivosartstudio5471]

brilliant! among many: "disassociation mimics enlightenment" ~yes!

[@Patricia-ok1cd]

Thank you so much Daniel. My son's name is Daniel too :). You talk gave me an insight into what I have been going through recently. Very personal . Anyway I have made so many notes from your talk and I will continue to watch you from now on. You are so right on many levels and I love the way you explain it all in easy to understand manner. (The music was off putting for me, ) sorry :), but I kept listening as I understood where you were coming from. The letting go of comfort was a huge awakening for me as I have an x husband who I think is living that. He refuses to let go of his comforts and is in huge denial about the trauma he has caused my son and daughter during their childhoods. He will not talk about any of it with them. We have told him many things that he did to them emotionally etc etc. He refuses to accept any of it. ind, he tells them you had a good childhood. That hurts them even more the denial is so painful. We recently told him some home truths and hes NEVER acknowledges any if it. Told my son to get some rest !! . Now he has chosen to discard them both from his comfortable life !. No contact and a text on their birthdays !! what is he thinking ?. Very very sad for me as their Mother and to see how traumatised they both are. Daughter has BPD a Label I hate, it is really PTSD she is suffering. It has never been diagnosed though.Son has many issues in his life as well as health problems. How do we get their Dad to WAKE UP TO REALITY ??? Huge question. I doubt he ever will or want to. he chooses to dissasociate, now I know why hes an alcoholic!!!. Narcassist comes to mind too. Spell bad sorry .....Would be interesting to hear what you think about what i have written . Thank you again. Keep going with these talks.

[@darkwhitedirewolf]

Denial in my family would have flooded Egypt if it were a river.

[@sylvieclermont5500]

It’s so good to have been down to the lowest of the sufferance and have survived. It’s like climbing a mountain and arrive at the top and be able to admire the beauty of the world

[@kaarlesland1709]

This video is so Gold. In the 40->mins after the soltuions are great. I notice that I have so much anger that I didin't even know. Thanks Daniel for sharing this.

[@AnnemarieTinbergen]

Hi Daniel, Good for you to speak up and open about your truth. The more people do it, the more people will understand how important this is. I was alone too in my family. And I am still today, My family does not want to know about the truth. I am the only one who really opened up and learned to know myself inside out. I know how much guts it takes because I have been there. I also know how rewarding it is in the long term.

Again, I appreciate that you're talking about this important subject, but 4:25 to 6:15 “the process of healing involves exactly the same pain they went through when they were traumatized ... unresolved pain from childhood”: No, it’s probably more “The pain was too much at the time and I dealt with the whole situation by shuttering that part of my mind which would have had to deal with that situation”. If I went back to the situation as the same child I was, yes it would be overwhelming again, but if I go back in imagination after having acquired enough knowledge and emotional capabilities, now I am able to deal with the situation and if I feel any pain it’s pain that’s manageable, not the same overwhelming pain from childhood. I think it’s important to make these distinctions so as to not scare people away from the process of healing. There doesn’t have to be a “hell of healing”. In my experience this process is extremely liberating, and I want everyone interested in healing to be encouraged to do this.

[@Teethrgood]

i'm glad you're out there, man. and i mean that. because i don't fit in at all, mainly because i have ideas like yours and can't help it, and can't NOT talk about it. i wish i could fit in with the crowd, but self-deception makes me even more self-hating than i already am. i'm constantly afraid to be real with people and tell them what i see, both in myself and them. making sense is like you said, full of anxiety, and shedding layers of denial can be real shitty.

[@mikegislive]

Thankyou soooo much! I have been going through years and years of horrible trauma and I am just realizing how bad it really has been. thank you for making these videos. you have saved my life.

[@anneofhearts]

Best video on how we busy ourselves and distract our true self.....!

[@Fathoms2004]

fantastic job Mackler.

[@mrhbwoodrose.2650]

from coping to hoping healing starts by getting clean

[@Ty98ink]

I don't think you're nuts, then again, I kind of think like you do except I use the word delusion instead of comfort. When my delusions about my loving parents fell, and I saw my dad for what he really was (Narcissist Personality Disorder) and my mom as one of those dumb, weak chicks who turn a blind eye when their husbands are evil... I actually felt better. I felt free. I no longer felt guilty because I had every reason to hate them. Delusions don't fix problems is what I always say BUT... everyone loves delusions. I've learned that you can't fit into this world unless you lie. Most people aren't aware that they selfishly lie to be liked, they tell people what they want to hear vs. me... I actually know what I'm doing but what can I do? Nobody wants to be hated.

[@PoetMountain]

Thank you for this wonderful video which explains so many survival skills many will recognize.

[@stepheauxwilliams]

Thank you for promoting the truth. It's sad how rare it is to find others that see the way to our true selves.

[@Shalien333]

Bless You for Your Courage, My Brother.

Thank you for this video, it helped me put into words something I've been trying to get clear for a long time. I appreciate very much that you explain childhood trauma and how to heal from it, because as you say it affects almost everyone and if we want to live in a better world it's important to understand what is going on and how we can make improvements. I’m concerned when I hear someone, especially a psychotherapist, say healing is extremely painful and difficult, because I worry it might needlessly scare off people. So I'd like to (hopefully) contribute the following and ask what people think: The way I see it, a more accurate portrayal than "not wanting to acknowledge whatever problem I have because that would be extremely painful" might be "what I was put through as a child was too much for me to deal with at the time, so in order to preserve the rest of my mind so I could live day to day, I have been applying a sort of mental block to prevent my attention from ever approaching anything related to the aspects of those events which were too much for me to cope with. When I have become able to deal with what used to be overwhelming for me, once I have learned the skills and/or acquired the resources I need for that, only then does it become safe enough for me to reapproach that part of my mind, but these defenses I have built and which I have been unaware of (necessarily, or else I would notice them and possibly follow the trail to what they've been protecting me from) will still be preventing me from putting my attention there, and they will do so by triggering strong emotions. Possibly fear, possibly pain, or maybe disgust, or shame, or guilt, or feeling exhausted, and/or anything else that might do the job of keeping my attention from focusing there. I can learn to recognize when my reactions look to me like they're out of proportion or inappropriate to the situations in which they are triggered, when my reactions don’t serve me as well as I would like, when I would prefer to react in other ways or even not have such an automatic reaction but be able to take a short pause and calmly look at my options and choose one I like. This is probably going to be a gradual process that will take months or years to go through (though hopefully there will be benefits both immediately and all along the way), and it will likely involve a lot of effort, but it doesn’t have to be “extremely painful”, nor be anything like the initial traumatizing experience. As far as I can see the reason those events were traumatizing is that we didn’t have the means to protect our mental balance at the time; today we can acquire these means, and when we review those events in our mind, our current capabilities do allow us to take in what happened without being overwhelmed. We can understand how our past reactions made complete sense at the time, we can have compassion for the child we were who was overwhelmed, we can comfort and reassure the aspects of this child who are still alive inside us today and let them join us in our present wholeness, we can realize how we no longer need these unconscious defenses which were so essential to us back then, because now we can take care of ourselves in much more powerful ways that don’t involve hiding from what was dangerous to us as children and denying that we’re doing this, today we can face these dangers and stay calm enough to choose how we want to act, and we can have the satisfaction of being in control of ourselves and of our life.” In my own experience going through this, as far as I’ve gone so far, 2 things seem to have been indispensable. One is knowledge about how the ways of thinking I had picked up from my parents and the culture in general, how these ways of thinking were keeping me unable to think clearly enough about what was going on around me so that I could make sense of it all and enjoy my life. I was lucky enough to find this knowledge in the work of Marshall Rosenberg (and Nathaniel Branden), and in addition to being grateful to them I am also grateful to the people who led me to this knowledge. The second thing was being lucky enough to have family and friends who cared enough about me to give me emotional and material support when I needed it most. I doubt I would have been able to go through this alone, especially the first time I got in touch with one of these closed-off parts of myself where part of who I was as a child was still left hiding alone--it seems like I needed someone else to be there with me, someone I could trust really cared, in order to explore this part of myself) so I am most grateful to these people as well.

Daniel Mackler I didn't realize this wasn't on your channel, so this is to let you know about the points I make in my comments, in case you're still interested.

[@chuckthebull]

Great assessment Marc..i think you touched on an essential element in this..the idea that once you have acquired the tools to deal with past trauma you can then do it more safely or with less unbearable pain and thus look at them more clearly and help heal them... I think this is a key idea and very helpful... I have to say as much as i try and face things bravely some times i cant bring myself to face certain painful things because i think i cant have the strength to deal with them at the time..I think letting people know this is comforting that in due time they can heal...It can do a lot to elevate the anxiety inherent in looking more closely at ourselves... bravo! From our comfortable positions of relative privileged society's this is easy...what pains me is how some people are suffering at the hands of tyrants and tricksters in international circles of power and cant enjoy these luxuries of kindling self awareness.. Its my hope that people like you keep spreading the light...

Chuck Itall Thank you, I'm glad you find this helpful. As you say, this process can be very difficult, whether because of stress or pain or fear etc., so I see anything that can help make it easier and more approachable for people as a win for everybody. Hopefully we'll get to a point where everyone can get the support they want to go through this, and childhood trauma becomes limited to rare occurences of unavoidable events in day to day life.

[@blueceleste]

my therapist told me i shouldn't journal by using negative feelings just happy feelings i told her i write my journals to try to make sense she said i need to stop trying to make sense with this stuff omg

[@Dejeunelle100]

Amazingly 'real' Daniel and so true. Thanks so much for the enlightenment and I will be sharing this around as it is just spot on. Thank you for YOU!

[@ps1473]

Daniel, thank you for the truth. You are brave to share this with us and you are a huge inspiration to me. Keep doing this. Greetings from Czech rep

[@tesiablonski9776]

Great job! you talk about work I started doing years ago and let go because my family didn't want to see what I saw. This video is a great reminder that I was on to great work and much is still undone. Thank you for putting yourself out there through this video to deliver the message regardless of an negative response.

[@perpecto44]

Thanks for your masterpiece: your talent in producing the videos with it's precise details: your message, your phrasing, pauses, titles, video effects, guitar music, landscapes and other images - is appreciated. I've had glimpses of enlightenment and I'm so happy inside, I can't wait to share it too with the world. I share the same potential criticism of majority of normal people and it's stigma. Because of your video, I do not have to reinvent the wheel: I just refer friends to your link.

[@spetruck1]

The psych labels... I hope we quickly learn to trash that practice. Asking for help at the most vulnerable time in the growth journey and having a "professional" call us unflattering codes so they can find a way to profit is the deepest level of betrayal. Down with that sort of thing.

[@marciestoddard730]

precisely why i quit being a therapist. they also play" with those codes to make them fit what the insurance company will approve for the longest treatment, and reimbursement. i was literally asked to put a specific diagnosis that doesn't fit for a client, in order to ensure the approval. so yeah, people are right to feel betrayed and paranoid.

[@AdelleRamcharan]

wow there are other people out there who recognize these things like me? great vid

[@Tao33316]

Your video brings up some great points. Each must follow his own path. Life is the Teacher. Most of the suffering we experience, we create. When we stop trying, everything falls into place. The dysfunction is within us, that we desire this and that. Be thankful for the dysfunction, it is your Teacher.

[@laurieleacobb]

Daniel, this video is so incredibly helpful. Your honesty is such a breath of fresh air and encourages me to continue with my own healing. Thanks SO MUCH for proving that I'm not alone. Neither are you. :)

[@grejotte]

I am lucky because my therapist thinks like you! So I have a good one, and we're working with Lifespan Integration technique, don't know if you know it. But she made me realize how much traumatized I was... and gosh, that hurts... now I can't take it anymore, I just started some antidepressant to take a break and help a bit, but I just hope it's not making me regress to dissociation stage....

[@tbd5082]

Addiction has numbed the horror. I’m ready to live now.

[@1810to1849]

I respect, admire and 'perhaps' love you a little for creating this and sharing it!!! never a sense of talking down, just decisive, clear compassionate comments based on experience. Your work has touched me, and your tuned wayyyyydown guitar was a nice touch. If I was nearby I'd book some sessions with you. I am extremely fortified in my suffering by absorbing your thoughts and personality.

[@Masseuraaa]

Bravo, what a great project in TRUTH. I admire your bravery and clarity. Peace.

[@CommanderBR]

Excellent video and presentation !

[@AdroSuperDopa]

this guy should be on ted

[@Paseosinperro]

This is like saying that Bach should be on X Factor.

[@mariahconklin4150]

My parents are still stuck with the old me it’s sad. They all loved (including my ex of 6 years) to control me because they were all in denial about their own crap. When I asked my boyfriend at the time what’s wrong? He always thought something was wrong with him. “It’s my adhd” “it’s my health.” He never once wanted to change nor did I. 6 years of denial for both of us. Now I can say that I am in a happy relationship that’s not full of denial. He holds my secrets and I hold his. I’m learning to now listen better.

[@mbbx5va2]

this is excellent. I'm on a similar journey - I can relate to many parts of this video.

[@DanielTejnicky]

You had there lot of good points. And actually you observed almost exactly what I did. I had terrible childhud, left by mother, not exeptet by new mother - depression, suicidal even etc. not enough space to share it here. Anyways since I can remember I tried find answare why. And without anyone telling me how I did self analize and I confronted my self with all that lot of times. I confronted my parents (missunderstood ofcourse) and today I no longer suffer, I can see clearly why it was that way

[@AmericanCultureIntegration]

Great video. so real, so true! Thank you so much for putting this out there! Many blessings!

[@mariahconklin4150]

I’m two days sober from my addiction going on day three. Not sure how I stopped. Me and my boyfriend are also celibate (3 months) which is so crucial for not only me but for him. A relationship is doable with Christ but your videos have helped so much also. My boyfriend has said that you have really good points but for us we turn to God and it has been a huge help. Finding safe people help to.

[@laraoneal7284]

It is a taboo to see one’s parents flaws. I know no one who will ever speak of their parents shortcomings let alone the abuse they inflicted on them. I went no contact with my parents over 20 years ago.

[@tnt01]

How did the rest of the family deal with you?

[@laraoneal7284]

@@tnt01 they didn’t support me so we went our separate ways.

[@tnt01]

@@laraoneal7284 sorry to hear but you better off. Best.

[@laraoneal7284]

@@tnt01 TY. Take Care.

[@dymphnatherese2595]

Could you please make a video on immediate coping skills for adults who are in extreme pain or dissociation and who have to work and be self sufficient? Personally I'm having a terrible time functioning and hurting myself at work just to keep going isn't a viable or acceptable solution to continue. What would you tell someone like me who has nobody to help her if things really fall apart?

[@SuperDelta000]

This guy rules. med free advice.

[@Ragzani]

Bravo! I'll agree be honest face your fears (if only step by step) comfort is not the guide to follow. Problem is that to do this you'll have to work from a safe situation & most people also have to fight to survive there daily problems.

[@annastone5624]

“I’m not committing suicide by honesty” Wow do I identify with that!!! 😆

[@Teethrgood]

ur not alone. i agree with you completely. you put most of my thoughts into words, so thanks.

[@laraoneal7284]

Daniel you were such an adorable little boy. You’re handsome today. I can’t believe I’ve been watching and listening to you for at least the 11 years and I’m still listening and watching today, 6/25/23. Ty so much for ur transparency. I’m reading The MYTH OF NORMAL by Dr Gabor Mate’. Dr Mate’ says the same thing to about the risk of honesty only he calls it the risk of transparency.

[@fndngnvrlnd]

Yes yes yes. This is the truth.

[@TheRedtaz]

this guy is as good as dr.phil!

[@ny92nd]

Thank you for sharing this video with us. Actually this encourages me so much. I am also one of people who wanna see real and wanna be real me. The pain is actually Hell of Hell... but I can't stand it to be fake and keep tricking myself.... Thanks again.

[@h.verdunkorvemaker3604]

I admire the courage you had to explore your mind. I can relate to much of what you shared. True liberty is not only understanding yourself but know the One who made us. This is what I have been trying help people with in Japan for 27 years. The main point here is that we ourselves are not the center of the universe but God and His Son are. When we are in harmony with Him life becomes worth living in spite of how I see or feel about myself. To be honest and true with God is to be able to stand before Him. To be honest and true with myself helps me to stand before people. I would love to meet you someday!

[@rainbow7217]

Thank you!

[@kakadu8720]

Thank you, Daniel for your honesty. I suffer from childhood deprivation and try to come over that step by step. I use body oriented methods for that as the pain is really physically present. I draw from Zazen, Somatic Experiencing and Focusing and use these in any way that helps.

[@BusinessBeams]

Thank you so much for uploading this, I am learning a lot from this.

[@amaniek9654]

really well made video - in all aspects.

[@victorberg5122]

The one who have hurt me the most, is....me... No serious trauma ever happened to me from the outside, this is what I think. I think the lack of knowing myself is the issue, and the "antidote" is to know myself.

[@janes.mclean4475]

Has anyone here ever had a parent complain about you to other people even when you were a child? I feel like being presented as the family scapegoat made other people view me in negative ways. & I had no way of standing up for myself as my character had already been described

[@tbd5082]

Yes. Happens all the time. Recognize it for what it really is. Get away from the abuser.

[@laraoneal7284]

One realizes as an adult bc no one has done this work we still have to censor ourselves and are still not allowed to be ourselves. This is referring to the adult who HAS done this recovery process.

[@EBlueProductions]

This is what ive needed at this time where my life could change a bit in a good direction. Sadly i dont understand the whole video what Daniel Mackler says i hope and guess he is german and will do a video also in german for this theme. Thank you so much.

[@Spiralreiki]

Enlightenment is to be consciousness itself rather nthan be full I think Enlightenment is recognizing that we are consciousness itself, not something or someone being fully conscious.

[@blueceleste]

thank u for saying people shouldn't have kids until they worked out their unresolved issues and denial! sounds like my family denial runs on both sides my parents say theres nothing wrong with them at all they are 66 and 67 years old. denial also becomes the person's truth their own walk, their own truth while everybody else is lying which is irrational on their end. my mom had us for the wrong reasons to keep my dad around my dad wanted a bunch of kids so he can be like the rich arab men

[@marciestoddard730]

i often wonder about the specific traumas arabic children go through. very similar experiences with my american parents. full denial in old age.

[@rosemary7808]

That music in between is annoying..Couldn't finish it

[@zoenittatoler1622]

It can come from how you grow up in life it can from parents how they grow up in life or it can be great grandmother or great grandmother i can remember my great grandmother left her baby on the bed that someone else has to raise my grandmother has five children by different father

[@lyndalfaithholmes1279]

Amazing.

[@internetvide0]

great video

[@mrhbwoodrose.2650]

an interesting way of seeing things

[@ryandavis6660]

my traumas have been really useful thank you …. additionally i would not be on this earth if i had to wait for me mother and farther worked though there trauma lol !!

[@666Abaddon777]

a good center is love and fear

[@elenigros]

Daniel you must see the documentary "Tell me who I am" on Netflix.

[@scribbling2much]

Seriously real!

[@pod9363]

Daniels material is so much simpler and logical and actionable than Stefan Molyneux’s takes on healing trauma.

[@AnaSoares1506]

Thank you so much!!

[@janes.mclean4475]

So a parent who is not comfortable with a child making noise and sounding enthusiastic in public - say the child is just walking with the parent - can inhibit the child’s responses by saying people will think you are weird if you act like that (at age 6!) - so that the child can get the idea it is not a good idea to express herself? What is the difference between dwelling on old memories and grieving them? I cannot change things that happened in the past. Maybe I could work on thinking that it is ok to express myself.

[@blackshadowofmysoul]

Thank you, this is really Help

[@mdefiel]

BRING IT ON DANIEL. 👍👍

[@petras6017]

Danke !!!!!! 😧🤗💟

[@taraberkley4844]

Do you have any experience or advice from r someone who was bullied by a sibling due e to a narcissist mother

[@marbellaberber2787]

what is traumatizing?

[@MrSuperbluesky]

Thank you same thing is happening for me

[@batum44]

but you dont necessarily know what traumas you went through in childhood?