Childless & Childfree Stepmoms: 5 Common TRIGGERS (+ How to Deal!)

[@theanxiousstepmom]

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[@juliannamason4746]

really appreciate this vlog - I often don’t feel I have anyone who can understand my feelings as a childfree/childless stepmom. I have - as many of us have - been told by other childfree women that I am not part of the childfree group because I am a stepmom. Then, of course, no one other then this childfree non-step-mom - thinks of me as a mom . . . except when they want something from me. I certainly did not feel I was in a position to really raise my stepchild like I would have raised her if she did not have these 2 bio-parents with the decision-making rights.

[@theanxiousstepmom]

I’m so glad this video resonated with you, Julianna. Your thoughtful comment has hit on something so profound yet poorly understood, even within the stepmom community: For those of us who live this role without “kids of our own”, there’s a perpetual sense of displacement. Given the well-established, near-universal need for genuine belonging, it’s no wonder so many childfree stepmoms experience deep feelings of isolation.

[@caseyhill636]

I don’t think it’s worth it. Too much drama. It’s like being in a play you never auditioned for. Parents should try to stay together as I’ve seen how divorce messes up the dynamic for the kids. I’m always expected to go along with everything and work around the constant schedule changes and chauffeuring the kids around. Men want a girlfriend, cook and housekeeper and a woman to take over responsibility for the kids but aren’t willing to allow her to have any authority in the household or family unit. It’s exhausting.

[@theanxiousstepmom]

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[@Passionatelycurious91]

This is great. You did so well articulating these pain points. I am a childfree bonus mom and can resonate with a lot of these points

[@theanxiousstepmom]

I’m so glad to hear this. Thank you for letting me know! 🫶 Connecting with other childfree bonus moms inside our support groups (and on this channel) has been truly gratifying.

[@Lynhufn]

i need this so much! i'm newly wed to a wonderful man and 2 kids. i'm immediately a step mom and childless for now at least,, we are still making a decision about having bio kids. thank you for this content. i am learning so much. i have researched alot but this is very good and has been truly resonating with me. the trigger for me is confusion. i always wanted kids, i grew up with a large family lots of kids and in my extended family too. but i don't have any bio kids. but i have 2 beautiful step kids. so yes confusion is one of my triggers, i'm thinking is God not wanting me to have bio kids? but i dunno yet. its hard. i love my step kids. i love my husband so much. i just need clarity. and i'm searching for it. thanks again!

[@deborahlincoln-strange622]

I've experienced all those triggers.

[@theanxiousstepmom]

🫶 Join our Childless/Childfree Stepmom Group inside The Stepmom Sessions membership: www.theanxiousstepmom.com/the-stepmom-sessions

[@norli7041]

How does a childless stepmum answer to the statement (by the or a mum who looks down on a childless stepmum), "these are REAL babies" and the silent part of the statement: "how would you know how to handle or care for them, they are not dollies or cats..."