Chris Responded To A Message From His School Bully

Chris explains what happened when he received a message from his school bully. What does David Goggins think about bullying? Was David Goggins ever tempted to become a bully? Why hasn't Chris Williamson spoken more about bullying before this BBC article?
#davidgoggins #bully #mentalhealth
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[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you full-time savages. Watch the full episode with Goggins in 4K here - kzbin.info/www/bejne/pJjZgKyZmLqtsLs

[@johnman559]

You have a healthy attitude Chris, I just want to let you know we in middle age have noticed you and your wisdom. I used to enjoy your trippy globe backdrop,modern wisdom meditations before you got super popular. Oh man your voice was like chocolate. I know you like self improvement, so do try singing I can tell from your voice you would be amazing at it.

[@ct4706]

Congratulations on another fantastic episode Chris and well done on getting David Goggins. Your podcast is great but I just wonder if the lifestyle you advocate is realistic for most of us men around the same age as you ... at the end of this podcast you are saying that you haven't had a morning coffee for 3 years and you are recommending an electrolyte drink instead ?

[@dylanmurphy7287]

You and David are what the world needs I was bullied from grade 3 to grade 9. It definitely ruins your brain, your thoughts, opinions, your coping skills, confidence. I have bi polar depression and anxiety. Life is hard, and rough and mean and alot of people are so self centered they literally don't think for a second how other people feel. No one has time for that it seems. To those suffering get help see a therapist be the best version of yourself you can be. Be the best you can so all these bullies in your life can see your success and triumph while they are still pieces of shit.

[@mikeansley5306]

Chris, do you think you wouldn't have been as humble and sincere if you hadn't been bullied? It seems to me attractive people are either late bloomers or stuck up as a general rule. I'm not saying it is good to be be bullied but that maybe there was a silver lining?

[@MyLongevityExperiment]

Great clip, great personal growth Chris.

[@TheAcad3mic]

I met one of my school bullies a couple years back. Honestly he was such a terror that he didn't actually remember what he did(we're in our mid 30s now), but he did remember that in school he was awful, and you were either one of his close friends or you were a victim. I was far from the only one. But when we happened to meet, in the same room face to face in a mutual friends front room, we spoke about it all and he looked me in the eye, apologised, and I shook his hand. And these days he works with troubled boys, trying to give them the attention and the support that he never had, from a place of real understanding and empathy. He's a good man. We all go on our own journey. Edit: for those that should probably consider therapy, we spoke about it for a bit, he didn't just say "soz mate get on with it" lol. We then played some games and had a good night.

[@raffitorres1714]

That’s awesome

[@tempestpsychology3768]

Wow, thanks for sharing dude. Accepting your bullies like that takes a lot of strength. The fact that the ex-bully recognised the pain he caused is a story so many of us can learn something from.

[@readmycomment3707]

A simple apology isnt enough

[@aaronward551]

I would of knocked him out

[@steelcrown7130]

@@readmycomment3707 Sadly, it's all he's got to work with. You cannot turn back time; you cannot "un-bully" someone, so a simple, sincere apology is sometimes the only way for both the bully and the victim to heal, grow and get on with it.

[@tempestpsychology3768]

Hearing men talk about how they were bullied and their mental health difficulties, particularly in the way Chris is doing it here, is the most helpful thing we can do for the young men and boys coming through behind us. Seeing the way Chris has grown and developed through his work on the podcast, honestly, is inspiring.

[@kadourimdou43]

Mental bulling and controlling behaviour by people who say they’re friends, is the most difficult to get out of.

[@andregonzales7711]

So true, also very hard for a young mind to understand that those aren’t their friends

[@baileys6346]

Agreed

[@heidi22209]

"Friends stab you in the front."

[@heidi22209]

@Andre Gonzales I disagree, they know. Kids are in a tough spot. They can't get away from thoes aholes. Untill they stand up for themselves or others, and face the blowback. Choices. Do something. Do nothing.

[@astralascendance]

@@andregonzales7711 I'd definetly agree. I'm fairly agreeable for a male of my size. I like everyone. Not everyone likes me. This was a hard truth for me and I didn't figure it out until I was in my early 20's. Life's full of mean people who want nothing more than to see you fail, socially destroy you and shit all over your fantasies.

[@teddyperkins6461]

I was bullied at school from about 15 - 16. I saw kids being bullied at school and you never think it will happen to you, and then it does. My bullying was verbal, and relentless, like Chinese water torture they sat behind me in Maths class and called me names behind my back for the best part of an academic year. I cannot tell you the mental effect that had on me. When I would get home I could still hear their voices in my head, if I saw a word with a letter beginning with what they called me then I would hear their voices in my head. I couldn't sleep, I didn't want to go to school and I started to become more and more of an introvert and actually started to lose friends and become a victim in other friend circles. It destroyed my formative years in high school and I became a nervous and shy person. Now I am 26, and my life has blossomed in ways I couldn't have imagined, I have great friends, I am far more extroverted, and feel like myself. Bullying delayed the development of my personality by at least 5 years. Bullys rob people of their personality and who they could be, and that is the saddest thing of all.

[@honeybadger916]

Dude your statement is just spot on relatable. Ever since i was in school people constantly put me down and it develops my introverted and shy personality. I was comfortable with the situation(no friends). But now I’m 23 years old, life hits hard. I saw everyone social media, they had many friends and looks like they had fun moments in their life. Also when I posted an “ask me anything” on instagram, nobody gave a fuck and only bots posted the questions. You are right when you said they robbed your years of life.

[@readmycomment3707]

Most the clowns in the comment section don't realize how bad it can get, because they were lucky enough to never experience it. There should be prison sentences handed out for bullying, start locking these kids up in juvenile detention and I guarantee that changes. The problem is most get away with it scott free.

[@deadfr0g]

I know how much this sounds like a stupid cliché, but I’m f***ing stoked that you’re finding yourself.

[@brokemono]

@@readmycomment3707 Your solution is old and inefficient. Online school will be the future for some kids and in some places it already is, you can stop worrying about bullying. For those that want online schooling and have no option to do so will be the next problem but my guess is that it won't be for long. As even some homeless people nowadays have a phone or even a laptop. Surely the school or the state can hand online schooling devices to kids who need it, should be cheap enough by that time for the state or school to afford it in bulk if it already isn't.

[@readmycomment3707]

@@brokemono No it wont. Kids need in person interaction to help with their social development. At at time where kids are already online or playing videogames by themselves at home, further reducing their social interaction would be detrimental.

[@dsgarden]

The problem with childhood bullying is that subconsciously as an adult you violently lash out at the smallest misdemeanour done to you. It’s like you continue fighting your entire life against a threat that’s no longer there. You subconsciously perceive these bullies in every adversity (no matter how small) you encounter 😥

[@Me-ji2pn]

Well they can still find you as they are still alive - you know that which is why you will always have anxiety.

[@OwlKnight32]

That just might be the source of my anxiety. It’s been there as long as I can remember.. since the bullying.. this makes the most sense, I’m still in fight or flight mode and it never shut off.

[@aks1993kumar]

It’s called cptsd. Look it up.

[@666MaRius9991]

@@OwlKnight32 Same here bro i'm always on the lookout and it fukin sucks! I just want to relax when im out and about.

[@liz3511]

So true :-(

[@jarrodmiller8035]

I was the quiet kid. I got bullied relentlessly. My dad was a son of a world war 2 marine. Dad served 2 tours in Vietnam in the navy and in between his stents was a narcotics officer in Philly. I went hot and cold in my defense of myself. I knocked some guys out and at some point I just got tired. I came home crying. My dad was the same dad to me then as when I was strong. He was there for me. I backed up a few times in my life. Dad did not. His feet didn't work that way. He loved me the same. He knew my mother Broke me down. He was a war tested veteran and he was there for me even when I was weak. Now I'm strong. Bullying is inevitable. Be there for your kids. I was weak but my dad was there for me. A strong vet who could fight. He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. Now I am a strong man. It makes all the difference when you're daddy believes in you. I take him with me. Your kids will get bullied. Stand behind them and have faith in them the way my dad did. Be a mother and a father. And teach them if anyone comes at you you bust them in the mouth no matter if you are scared. Good parents with morals defeats bullies.

[@DaveRevst4548]

Great comment which hopefully will be seen by many. I never had a dad. Still suffer from it in my thirties. While hating seeing myself as a victim.

[@Tenzin62]

I was 25 when I encountered one of my school bullies. I was working in a shop and he came in. I didn’t recognise him at first. He just stood at the counter smiling at me, genuinely happy. He said, “dint you go to --- high school.’ As I said yes, I recognised him. I took his purchase out of his hand and told him to leave the shop. I don’t even remember getting angry, just shocked. He looked at me awkwardly and left. About a week later I was standing on the pedestrian crossing, waiting for cars to stop so we could cross, and a car tooted. The same guy, he smiled and waved at me and drove off. It was weird. Still hate him. He was vile. Bullying changed the course of my life. I went to college later, university later, because I was worried about encountering those people in those places. I was bullied by seven guys, I’m a girl. I’d had a bad car accident when I was 10, limped bad;y, broken jaw, nose teeth. They came at me because of all that. Destroyed the person who I would have become. I often wonder now, now I’m in my 60s, what would my life have looked like had this not happened.

[@alphacat9302]

This one hits. I remember multiple times that I was bullied that still haunt me, and I also remember lashing out at a friend or two in ways I wish I never did. Childhood is learning, and it's also traumatic, and I don't know how we fix that. I do have kids, and they are great, and I suppose that's how.

[@idrathergetaidsthangetwoke9145]

We don't fix it... Or rather.... We let the kids sort it out with mmimal meddling by parents, teachers and the police... Good grief. As someone who was bullied through elementary school and found my way in my teens, my mother did what she could but ultimately it was up to me and part of growing up.... For millenia. This loathsome coddling and hovering by contemporary parents is only creating a permanent victim class unable to handle. Their own disputes.

[@RanjakarPatel]

he is no honests mans. I never call four him. i only say he need working more four uunderstand computer. but he choose four acting and talking with different mans. if he enjoi then i no more say he need study and become smartly four the math. but if he want be mans four computer then i will be honestly and tell him he lazy four study computer. this will be convenience.

[@idrathergetaidsthangetwoke9145]

@@RanjakarPatel you promised me noods, no cloth with large vagene... Where are they?

[@alphacat9302]

@@idrathergetaidsthangetwoke9145 I agree in a general sense. But I do think we can provide some guidance to our children without being overprotective. That is, I agree we don't want to coddle kids, and id even go to so far as to say some limited bullying is important to define social roles, that doesn't mean you don't tell your kid not to poke johnny with a stick until he bleeds. There is a balance here, it's just really difficult to find it. I have pretty good kids. My boy is good at jujitsu. He was getting bullied at school and his school told him and us that he should report incidents. I told my son if he was attacked again to take the kid down and backpack him but not to intentionally hurt him. I also told him the school was wrong to force him to be a tattletale, and I told the school they were wrong in their advice. I also told the school that this child has now hit my child twice and if it happens again that will legally be on them, and my son has a right to defend himself. I will not raise my son to allow himself to be bullied and to a trained tattletale. But at the same time I don't want him bullying others. This requires parenting, just not the bulldozer or helicopter style most parents seem to employ.

[@readmycomment3707]

@@alphacat9302 The school system is to blame. They protect the bullies and troublemakers. If you fight back they suspend both students

[@MarkJ1776]

I've had a life long bully. He was my neighbor's cousin and in my grade. Never missed an opportunity to put me down. About 10 years ago, in my early 40's, I was waiting outside a restaurant for an old friend. He asked what I was doing, called me a loser saying I was sitting there alone. Told him I was waiting for a friend, and he says something like yeah, sure you are. About that time my very beautiful friend Sara walks up, says hey you, and gives me a hug. The look of shock and disappointment on his face was the best moment of my life. As we walked inside, she said "who's that creep?" I never had friends in school, got bullied, was very shy. I still don't have close friends and am alone.

[@RocketRocket-ce3ke]

Kids can be rotten. I was bullied at a new school by the ' in ' gang but somehow let it wash over me. Several years later at a school reunion I thought I'd test the water as an adult and got much the same reaction. Then some years after that I heard that do had died, one from suicide and one from leukemia, as young men. Proud to say it made my day.

[@judeleese7783]

Look at these two beautiful souls that learnt so much from their struggles..Respect.

[@joesph9748]

My son has been a victim. What I have found is that schools often don’t see what is happening- when they do or it gets reported, nothing really happens. The parent or parents of the bully are clueless- I recall the mother saying my sweet boy would never do that… even after she was called into the school multiple times. Telling your child to fight back is tough - sometimes it ends the bullying other times it ends in an ass whooping for your kid. I am fortunate - my son is a great kid and has adjusted. He has found confidence through running where he excels. So while these videos bring some attention to bullying - they don’t change anything. A bully is a bully. Parents need to stay super close to their kids - a bullied child often keeps this quiet.

[@readmycomment3707]

The schools are to blame

[@M0viLover]

@@readmycomment3707 Absentee parents; single parent (w0man-led) households; teachers already stressed beyond the breaking-point; litigious parents if the schools do take action; etc.

[@Ssyphoned]

@@M0viLover the teachers overwhelming vote for the parties which put those overly litigious and social welfare policies in place. They’re at least greatly culpable.

[@readmycomment3707]

@@M0viLover Nope. When you put your child in the custody of the school its their legal responsibility to ensure they are safe. The parent has very little they can actually do. They can threaten the school with legal action but thats a slow process and rarely pays off. You are absolutely delusional if you think the parents have more power in that dynamic than the school system does.

[@aks1993kumar]

Why is telling your kid to fight back is tough? Teach him martial arts and tell him to fight back.

[@L.I.T.H.I.U.M]

Never been bullied myself but I regret all those moments not standing up for someone being bullied in my school. I was really good at fighting all my life, I could've faced them and beat them easily if it'd come to that, but I've always been agreeable and afraid of confrontation. I made sure that part of my personality changed.

[@Forallthesin]

Being bullied through out my life has ruined my life....... I quit school at the start of high school because of the amount of bullying which in turn has ruined what essence of life i could of had.... I'm 34, can't get a job, isolate myself to the point where i'm so lonely the only thoughts that run through my mind is ending it all. I cry myself to sleep every single night..... i've hit rock bottom.

[@benjaminjo]

I'm 34. I was bullied, badly, too. I protected myself for years isolating myself, too. We're alike, you and I. Where we different, perhaps, is that I put my faith and trust in Jesus to heal me where I couldn't do so for myself. Also, "an idle mind is the devils playground". There's a way out, and I'll share it with you, if you wish you go into it. Become an Insurance Adjuster. They make 6-figures a year, roughly $2k+ week on average. It will change your life, as it will change mine (currently in process of getting license and doing a course with a guy named Stephen Story). This career (not a job), will keep you busy, allow you to help a lot of people get claims on their insurance, make you a lot of money, and take you from the bottom, to the top. So, that is how I've been able to overcome my checkered past. Come to love Jesus and God, and pursue a career that'll allow you the freedom and financial stability to take care of yourself and have freedom in the world. May god bless you

[@triple_a_marketing]

Keep working at it bro. You’re an amazing dude. And the fact we’re here shows how strong you are. Check out Khalil Center for help

[@Gabriel-ks6rk]

I'm sorry to hear that . Please don't think of doing that . Seek professional help please .

[@JohnORourke.]

I was bullied by two boys in secondary school, terrorised really. They genuinely enjoyed having power over me. I'm still scarred to this day. I will never forgive them for traumatising me. Chris, you're a better man than me.

[@michaelriddick7116]

It fucking scars you. Its been over 30 years for me but I still remember all their names ...

[@arohkraehmer]

I still know my bully. He has apologised for his wrongdoings to me before. And I forgave him. Little did I know that I was not ready to forgive him, because I hadn't re-processed the bullying experience. Over the past 5 years I have consumed a lot of Psychology and something that arose in me is to do Brazilian Jiu-jitsu. That's very unlike me, I am more agreeable than the average man. So here I am, doing BJJ to one day be able to speak about this subject again with my bully and to put myself into a position to forgive him. I am not doing BJJ to beat him up, I am doing BJJ to prove to the bullied child in me that he need not be scared any more.

[@hallucinus3523]

my single biggest regret in life is not knocking my bullies teeth out. if you are being bullied, you MUST stand up for yourself. im 45 now and would still clock this dude if i ever saw him. however, he is in jail for robbing a gas station with a box cutter. once a piece of crap, always a piece of crap.

[@michaelriddick7116]

@@hallucinus3523 41 here, and same. Thats what happens when youre raised being told "Fighting is wrong." all the time :(

[@samrichards880]

Ayahuasca

[@roylee8114]

This really hits deep for me Chris. I was a bully in my youth and I am ashamed that I put out all that negativity in the world. I remember everyone I bullied and their names. I realize now how people can carry trauma throughout their life and I deeply regret being a part of that trauma. Not to make excuses but I used to get a lot of beatings at home...at one point my dad tried to kill me by forcing a lot of pills in my mouth during one of the beatings. The part that hurts me the most is realizing the fact that I knew the pain from being a victim, and still I chose to be the very thing that I know that brings pain and suffering to others. I'm still working through my traumas and still it feels disgusting when I look back to who I was. Thank you for this video.

[@NorthKoreanSimp]

an asian bully? i’m assuming u only bullied little asian boys smh

[@genxer74]

It takes a lot of guts to say what you said. Forgiveness is available to everyone. You don't have to carry around that guilt any longer. The Bible says that Jesus is willing to forgive you, if you want to be healed, and your sins will be forgotten as if they were on the ocean floor or as far as the east is from the west. Good luck in your journey brother.

[@st6086]

I just wanted to say we’ll done Roy, for coming from a far from ideal situation, to being a bloke that has a good level of self awareness. Sounds like there’s a bit in the middle you’re not proud of, but not everyone gets through that and does good in the world. Now you have a gift!

[@youngcurmudgeon411]

Thanks for sharing this, man. This helps me remember that many people aren’t bullies for no reason. That bullies are people too. If my dad treated me that way, maybe I would have become one. All we can do is learn and get better. Thanks 🙏

[@jurassicthunder]

@@genxer74 stop using people's vulnerable moments to turn them into your delusional world where they could feel "safer". Reality is all we have and we should make the best of it.

[@deportedsouls3165]

The one bully that terrorized me and a number of my classmates from 6-15, met my fist at a party at 17. He jumped me and that was were something in my mind changed. We fought our way through the house and tumbeling down the stairs and out on the lawn. It ended with me hitting him with my right fist in his face after I had let him up and he kicked me between the legs. The best thing was that all the partygoers saw everything, him bleeding and running away from the place etc, which changed their view of him. Some of them came up and praised me, saying "it was about time someone put him in his place". So by forcing me to the limit, he changed his own reputation forever.

[@oculus4521]

I was bullied ruthlessly all throughout school. From about 8 years old to 16 years old it was nothing but bullying and social isolation. There's nothing worse than having people you thought of as friends manipulate and beat you down mentally, talk behind your back, and tear apart any ounce of self respect or confidence. I remember going home holding back tears, and hoping sleep would get rid of me feeling like shit. I remember people who i thought were my freinds eagerly waiting for the opportunity to embarass me in front of a class. All i would do is smile, and laugh it off. It was brutal. I remember looking forward to the days i could be left alone, from either having a diffrent class, or even lessons were i could sit away from these people right at the back of class. The rest of my school years from age 13 onwards, i was somewhat a social recluse. These years at school have molded a large part of my personality, and i recognize all the coping mechanisms i have for stress, anxiety and depression stem from my time at school. I'm only 20, and starting to realize how the former years of my life have sculped my character. Its like i've been beaten and whipped for almost 10 years, and 2 years later only starting to see the wounds left over. I hope one day i will be able to fully recover from this, but i am also fully aware these are the cards i've been dealt. As unfortunate as my circumstances were at least hope ive learnt from those painful years.

[@kimhornhem5399]

Suffering will last a life time bro. It's how you handle it, is what molds you into a man.

[@jbf4184]

Sorry to read it. As someone who dealt with similar stuff, and who is a couple decades older I’d offer you this. First, if you aren’t over it, get therapy. Seriously. Do what you need to so you can move passed it and enjoy your life. It may sound silly but don’t let those scumbags ruin more of your life than they already have. Second. Once you’ve done that, find the things you enjoy in life, (work, school, whatever) and go at them with everything you can. I spent over a decade dealing with what came from being bullied. After I was able to move past it my life was so much better. I hope yours will be too. Cheers.

[@rmmm6725]

I had a friend in high school that liked having me around to make them look better. I was consistently put down and thought it was normal until I grew up. After the military and graduate school I realized how stupid I was for allowing people to have such a negative impact on me. I met my buddy years later and he tried the same crap, I’m a big dude now and very highly trained, I calmly explained what would happen if he didn’t quit and he started crying. The guy apologized and I remember thinking how pathetic he was. The bully’s are always the weak ones.

[@JamieRambles]

Crying!? 😅😂 jeezo

[@campersruincod6134]

Top G

[@yoma2977]

lol I had the same experience, now he's a junkie.

[@Babidi111]

@@JamieRambles yeah that kind of sounds like one of those and then everybody clapped stories.

[@yoyo21926]

the thing is, your bully doesnt know he's bullying. its just their personality. you probably woke him up which is why he cried.

[@jamesj2613]

“We’re training kids & people to be soft in a world that continuously gets harder” Truth.

[@sonny2593]

Loneliness is the real brutal part. My bullies made a game of jumping me from behind and giving me a kicking. 20 years on and i still look over my shoulder.

[@maxxwellbeing9449]

We had a school that seemed to be full of bullies. It was almost a daily thing. Poor community, lots of bad kids. So from grades 1 to 6, I was bullied a lot. The summer before grade 7, I got a lot bigger, along with a few other people that had been getting bullied in prior years… we came together after one of our bullies tried to bully us, and he got his ass kicked. We were no longer afraid, and we beat the crap out of each and every one of our bullies one by one, and told each of them that if we heard that they bullied “anyone” else in the school, we would be back. Our school had no more bullies that we know about. People knew to tell on these bullies, and the bullies feared the consequences. It may have not been the right thing to do, but there is strength in numbers. Be well.

[@scottchegg828]

then all the teachers stood up and clapped right?

[@maxxwellbeing9449]

@@scottchegg828 Nope, we got in trouble for giving them a beating … teachers from what I remember used to turn a blind eye until the bullies got the beating… after I got the crap beat out of me one time, I told the teacher and she said toughen up… I don’t know all the people that were getting bullied, I’m sure there were more, but the ones that were known for bullying got their asses kicked. As it should be.

[@anthonyhowrard526]

Man this hit me HARD. You are no less of a Man if you talk about bad experiences. Huge respect to the chap who sent you the message. I`m nearly 56 and mixed race and got a lot of abuse when at School. It has taken a long time to get over and move on. A few years ago I saw a really horrible racist comment on a YT vid. instead of just having ago at the Guy WE started to talk where I explained how racism had an impact on me and He was telling me why He was saying what He did. Most of his family and himself had lost jobs and where finding it difficult due to immigrant's taking less pay. At the end He said sorry. Really glad I did not just get `triggered`

[@ceejay1476]

Ironically, just ten years ago, open borders was considered a very right wing position, because the labor movements claimed that it would remove the ability for workers to organize for fair wages if the country was flooded was immigrants willing to take pennies and working without contract and outside of the law etcetera. I wonder what happened to that position...

[@Psyshimmer]

Takes serious strength to do that. Good on you.

[@dezinke3862]

May I ask what the "racist" comment said that was so horrible ? Second... Racism is just a euphemism for in group preference and this natural behavior is one that hinders a particular middle eastern tribe from achieving world Gouvernement

[@anthonyhowrard526]

@@dezinke3862 wtf are you talking about? and no I cant think of what was said.

[@anthonyhowrard526]

@@Psyshimmer thanks. can still upset me but it took me to long of a time to understand I`m in charge of what I think and feel.

[@albertlevins9191]

Chris! Man! This! The culture of bullying that we grew up in is even worse now. Your mental toughness got you through, I took another path. I was violent back. After a while the bullies feared me. It didn't win me any friends, and I too, was isolated. It was really hard for me. I was hurt for a lot of years. I had a real problem with people until I was about 25. I couldn't shake the hate for everyone. It took studying psychology and a lot of meditation to grow past it. Now I got a little girl, and I can't let her use social media at all. She is pretty heavily bullied, and there is precious little I can do! Her teachers can't fix it, so all I can do is talk to her and them often. I figured that after my generation, someone would figure out how to make this culture of bullying stop. Boy was I ever wrong. This is a heck of a thing, and you are one smart man who knows a lot of other smart people. I am interested in seeing you tackle this in more depth sometime. TLDR. But thanks if you do. Al.

[@VNExperience]

This hit me hard. I was also bullied in school and it has taken me decades to deprogam myself and understand why I seek validation from others. The way I dealt with it at the time was by changing my appearance, picking up smoking, and for a short time I bullied someone else, a classmate who was weaker than me. I was supposed to be his friend... and I am ashamed of myself to this day for doing that to him. He did not deserve it - no child does. I've since tried to find the person I mistreated but to no avail. He's not on social media and I just pray he's doing well today. Hurt people hurt people. No truer words have been said. What's also true is that life will hit you hard at one point or another, so you better choose to suffer in preparation for the unchosen suffering. Thanks for talking about this. We all suffer sometime in our lifetime, one way or another, and toughening up early helps. I also pray that everyone reading this has someone in your life that supports you through tough times, someone you can support when it's their turn to get hit by the freight train that is life. Life *will* hit you hard, and everybody needs somebody. Having been through some hardships in my life, I am now able to support my fiance as she is fighting her first battle with sickness. Writing this feels therapeutic. I didn't expect to get this emotional. Best wishes to anyone reading this.

[@Blodia1990]

This touched me deeply. I hope you forgive yourself and reconnect with that fellow.

[@TmHudsonArt]

I got bullied like hell at school..even physically attacked several times. There was a whole list of people who were nasty to me and only one ever messaged me on FB to apologise for how he treated me at school which i did appreciate. He's now passed away...gone in his 30s. I also see so many former bullies moaning on FB who's kids are being bullied and how they hate bullies..but they act as though everything was all hunky dory back at school and never even bring it up how nasty they were to me but now it has come back on them and it is their kid on the receiving end. None of them will have foreseen it when they were being school bullies. Some food for thought for anyone who thinks it is OK to bully. You never know when the tables are going to turn. Too many parents just stick up for everything their kids do these days as well.

[@Numantino312]

parent who's on top of their game: "i know what I/WE did" none of this "oh, he/she would never..."

[@goldmidwest]

Yo do you really keep an actual list of the people who were mean to you in high school? That's pretty based / joker level deranged

[@Someone-zs5xr]

@@goldmidwest There's no need to keep tab on them. Your brain does the job for you by not letting you forget about them

[@TmHudsonArt]

@@goldmidwest Do you know the meaning of a metaphor lol? I never said i kept a literal list...😂

[@zwatwashdc]

This is a pretty good argument against factory schooling. It places kids at a very vulnerable place in their development in inescapable confrontation with many very damaged people, people whose stories and families we don’t know.

[@oliviervanoeveren6348]

"We're training our kids and people to be soft in a world that gets continuously harder... and it doesn't correlate" He's very right. Every kid hears curses at a young age. As long as they know it's bad decorum to use them in some situations, that shit doesn't need censoring all the time. Eventually they'll learn to use them anyway

[@Commander034]

When I learned you had a hard time in school it made you so much more relateable. Sometimes it is easy to see you as this gigachad like character but seeing that your formative years had some similarities to my own make the whole podcast more approachable.

[@bekind6869]

I'm a woman and this made me feel so validated as the formerly bullied child(almost all my childhood). The deprogramming thing is so real, you gotta change the whole blueprint of your brain.

[@Cymricus]

“how long are you gonna shelter your child from a world that’s evil as sht” - good quote

[@jeffreymason7049]

It's a question deep-thinking parents struggle with. I have two small kids and trying to figure out how much to reveal to them is hard - there is no book that can answer that question. Just trying to do my best and be better than my parents, that's all I can do.

[@freddiemoses467]

I'm 35 and am starting to realise how much bulling has shaped my life, the negative way I look at things and the remnants from having anxiety and panic attacks. Would be interested to hear more about your experience Chris, how you came to terms with it and overcame it.

[@ArchitSach]

"Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself." --- Tony Robbins

[@disagree3810]

Wow!

[@storyarch1084]

Great point, we must let go.

[@mohamm3d312]

W

[@rajeshpatel1128]

gives me the chills bro, thank u ❤️

[@itsunbelievable1534]

ROBBBBINNSSSS

[@carbonnieferrous2689]

Bullying within a social group is usually part of the dominance hierarchy that all kids develop. I found that the person who would push me around or try to manipulate me within my friends group would help to stop anyone else from outside trying to bully me. Its a complex business growing up and if youre not naturally aggressive or competitive you will get pushed around and you need to find your place as best you can. I was well into adulthood before I found a way to assert myself more. Its easy to say that you need to face that which you find most frightening, but that is so difficult for timid or introverted adolescents.

[@readmycomment3707]

No, its a dbag move. Kids aren't prepared for that type of behavior from a cognitive level. Btw if the bully is in a gang or 3 years older than you, the notion of "just fight back" doesnt always work. Sometimes you literally cant fight back. This is why the school and police have failed in regards to handing out punishments to bullies.

[@kimhornhem5399]

That's like when a wife beater gets angry that someone else is beating their wife.

[@lewissaundersguitar]

Powerful words and astounding humility to accept such an apology from someone who has accepted their own failings and become dedicated to preventing them in their own families. I was heavily bullied as a child. I became bitter and resentful and thought all people were the same kind of evil. This bitterness turned me into that which I hated most; I became the bully. I have struggled with friendships my whole life because I don’t trust people. I assume they will betray me based on my childhood but that mindset kept me trapped in isolation due to the fear of vulnerability. Over the last few years I have completely opened up to all this. I don’t mind laying it out on the table and admitting MY fault of tarring the many with the feathers of the few. I am now building better relationships with family and new friends and although I still falter, I will not fall again. Many thanks for the inspiration and reassurance that we are not the being of our past but a vessel towards a better future. The future is what we make it, not what we allow it to be.

[@genxer74]

Everyone has their own unique shit to deal with. It's good to hear you're working on yours. If 100% of us were self aware enough to that the world would be much better off. Cheers.

[@lewissaundersguitar]

@@genxer74 Absolutely, we all have challenges to overcome, which me must! Thanks for your positive input, appreciate it and all the best to you.

[@MrMurph73]

It's so important to try to forgive, if someone is sincerely asking for it and apologising. It's sometimes not possible...but how can we ever progress if the effort isn't at least made. Huge respect to you both for moving forward.

[@andrewthornquist8186]

This hits home for me. I bullied several kids at my school. As best I can tell, I bullied others to try to cope with my own sadness. Thankfully, as my heart healed, I had the opportunity to apologize and ask for forgiveness from each of the kids I bullied. Without exception, they forgave me and thanked me for apologizing, so I didn't have to carry toxic shame into adulthood. Many years later and as a father, I do my best to raise my children to be kind, loving people who are secure and content enough to find absolutely no use for bullying. In truth, bullying says a lot about the bully and very little about the person being bullied.

[@nikki27ish]

You're very lucky they gave you the grace of forgiveness. I'm glad you changed your ways and I'm sorry for the pain you had as a child.

[@3hristopher]

Respect to dude who reached out to you that goes a long way

[@michaelatlas2341]

Yes, respect to him for bullying a guy when he felt like bullying someone, and then apologised when he felt like he needed to find a way to move forward for hisbown benefit, again. Such a mature mentality. He apologised for his daughter, and he made sure the one who had to carry the burden of his insecurities was his favourite target as a bully. But yes, sure, respect the guy who stunts your growth and causes you to think about suic c!ide and likely become aggressive/not competent in your adulthood, if you manage to get to adulthood that is.

[@deruneldembal5048]

@@michaelatlas2341i mean are we supposed to hate that the guy who bullied him now? He obviously has consciousness going by his sleepless nights. He felt remorse and wanted to express that. U dont have to forgive him if u were bullied but at least recognize that someone is actually sorry.

[@dps1689]

I was aggressive because of my father, I used to beat bullies cause I felt sorry for the people being bullied, I fully understood the struggle and felt a strong protective energy. I think I was about 9 or 10 when I grew the balls to really use violence for the first time. I'm glad I turned out to be this way, mostly because of my mother, bless her.

[@becomingwilkinson]

Some of the most together, most beautiful human beings had a hard time in school with bullying, etc.. And Chris, you're a beautiful human being. Kudos to your former "bully" for having the balls to work through his shame and fear and to step up to the plate and apologize. And kudos to you for responding the way you did.

[@lizee8764]

no idea how thi got into my feed. Very interesting topic. everything comes at a price - positive or negative. I was bullied based on my disabilities, weight, i wasnt part of the small town, not a farmer, was considered poor (which we were not..middle class family). This caused me a lot of mental issues and i still struggle with some of them today. however one of my ways in dealing with this was bullying others who were worse off than i was. later in life (19-20 years olds) i have reached out to every single person who i mistreated and said sorry to their face. some accepted it and we had a beer over it, some told me to go to h3ll, and others just ignored me and walked away. learnt a very valuable lesson over that experience! Be kind to each other. Dont have to like ppl but show respect.

[@user-nf9xm7is3m]

I've been bullied and I've been the bully too. I was a very traumatized child and now looking back realize that yes some kids were mean but some kids were actually trying to be nice and get to know me and because I was so defensive I was a b to them. I actually was just thinking about this yesterday, and I'm 30, so it still bothers me and I hope every kid I was every mean to is doing well.

[@autisticus1678]

I was bullied, than bullied other people, and was once again bullied myself. Life comes full circle, the only thing I would change is the way I treated other people, I was weak and scared and treated other people who didn’t deserve it the way others had treated me when I didn’t deserve it. I’ve grown up now, I’m only 22 but I know now I will always find much more fulfillment being kind, being bitter and angry only left me feeling more empty, as cliche as that sounds. Moral of the story don’t let your insecurities and negative past experiences dictate they way you treat others, he a leader, be the one who stands with those who can’t stand for themselves.

[@sarahbee6881]

I was severely isolated in school too. It’s great to see you thriving now and sharing publicly so others, on both sides, can heal. Keep sharing.

[@nicholasaustin2717]

When I was about 25, I ran into my middle school bullie. We were both too immature to handle it. He acted like we were old friends. I told him why we didn’t share a past, we shared a geography. He thought that because time had past that I should be cool. I explained that I ran into him once in 7 years and that was cool. 15 years later, I wish I had told him how crappy of a kid he was and appreciated the man who was currently being pleasant to me.

[@adrianw3985]

We get hurt by people, then in turn hurt others. It is a vicious cycle. Thanks for sharing your experience. We all need to be better.

[@nancysewell6670]

His realization that he was a bully and his apology took some courage. Your response was gracious and probably very healing for both of you. Kudos to you both.

[@joeyc666]

I couldn't have imagined a better response.

[@danp6504]

I was bullied when I was a kid and I wouldn’t change it for the world. It was extremely formative and made me mature way faster and surpass my classmates in all metrics

[@zingara76]

I’m so glad I was bully as a kid and teen, cause after that experience I did everything possible in my life to get out of that environment. I was able to travel the world and live in a nicer place thanks to them.

[@danp6504]

@@zingara76 yes it forces you to be better faster. And that I’m grateful for

[@ceejay1476]

@@danp6504 That depends on how harsh the bullying is. There are kids that literally get basically humiliated to the point where they end up completely broken. I heard a story on the news in Sweden a few months back where a kid was beaten in school and then the other kids pissed on him after taking his phone and everything else he owned. Imagine going through shit like that every day for 4 or 6 years.

[@danp6504]

@@ceejay1476 obviously goes without saying but I’d say that’s an outlier. I think boys being boys or whatever you want to call it, can help a young man develop and mature into a stronger version vs what he may have turned into with no conflict

[@readmycomment3707]

@@danp6504 This is complete stupidity and goes against what psychologists say. Childhood trauma is not helpful, in fact it can be quite harmful. There should be a zero tolerance attitude towards bullying, not this bro science argument of "durr actually it helped me".

[@charlesb2895]

A science fact i read once that always shook me to my core was learning that chronically neglected or abused children may not form the neurological barriers to aggression. Billions of neurons may not develop for them. It puts a lot of our understanding of morality into a new perspective.

[@Asto508]

They are not developing a lot of social mechanisms in general. The usual path of those people is a life of emotional disconnect to other human beings and it's nothing that can be fixed later in life either. It's often easier for them to form emotional bonds and feel wholesome with animals though and it's not unusual that these individuals tend to have an isolated, introverted lifestyle since it's the only way they can find some peace. Human contact is draining on them and if they are forced to have such a contact, aggression is a completely understandable reaction.

[@samoke4527]

I was bullied in school but when I look back I am glad it happened. My parents don't have a tough mentality but the are i grew up in you had to have one so I had to stand up for myself and create my own tough skin and I am so appreciative of myself for realising at a young age that you don't let no one walk all over you no matter who they are. Facing fears or standing tall against your anxiety is the best thing you can do for yourself

[@RyanHellyer]

I did this to someone a while ago. I'd been considering contacting her for many years, but had trouble finding her online. I eventually found a comment which implied that it may be her, so I reached out. It was her. She responded to say that I was better than most of the other kids. She then explained her life story, which was frankly terrifying. Thankfully she'd moved past her demons and now has a successful life, despite how some of us treated her.

[@Nn.65juk]

If where her i would have just accepted apologizes.... But not forget and less have interest in your life. A bully in school apologized to me after 1p years he found me oline i only talked one time with him. I hope never again see him. I forgived but i don't even care about he being my friend or whatever he wants. I am 21. He is 20. It was from 1 to 5 grade that he bullied me. I don't trust him. For me people who hurts do not deserve to be friend with the one hurt, for me all those bullies who apologized to me are nothing more than a bunch of people who believe "i am sorry" will fix years of unwellbeing by bullying. I hope they have kida and raise kids not to be patetic years later apologizing. 😂....

[@grahamvandyke]

Out of all the people I knew in school (who both didn't bully or bullied me), there's only really 1 person who stayed just as bad as they were in high school. Everyone else fully transformed who they were as people. It actually gives me a lot of hope that people can continue to change who they are as people, even at older ages.

[@dinoXAs2]

Yeah.. the loneliness was worst. I was always alone and i didn't know why. I just tried to be nice and kind. Not in this world... One of the worst was when i was like 12 year old and got to new school. I was left outside immediatly by old bullies and new ones. There was other new kid from another city and it took huge courage to go talk to him who was alone too at the time. We started talking and it was nice to have someone to talk to and be with in school and it was big thing to me because i had courage to talk to him after years of bullying. Life was little better. But after some time old and new bullies started to talk him too and soon this my new and only "friend" started to bully me too and hard. It almost broke me. I still over 40 years old feel that feel. I know he really wasn't my friend, but i still can't understand how evil people are in this world. I have family now and good life, but scars are there, but nowdays i focus on positive and in own way i am better person with this experience and i did survive. They didn't win. I won. But sometimes i feel that cold wind from the past still and its part of me forever.

[@TWRehab]

Its formative, it makes you. Congratulations to you on your family and the love in your life. You've done well.

[@2davivadiva]

You write well

[@gilgamecha]

So honest. Greatest respect to all involved. We can all change.

[@An_Drea_Calling]

What a magnanimous, beautiful answer, Chris.

[@levelcrosskings]

As someone who was bullied and beat, I must say, they serve a purpose. Overcoming adversity and refusing to be a victim is something this generation has no clue about and it’s sad. I’m thankful for the cruel lessons they taught me

[@blikewat3r]

I’m a woman who was harshly bullied by boys and girls growing up and I agree. The last two years of bullying on a global scale …meh🥱💅 Was that the best they had? 😂

[@jackchop1576]

My high school bullies who kept it short, sweet, apologized and changed earned my forgiveness. The ones with the long winded, walls of text apologies all ended up being bullies in a different way. Each one ended up sending me homophoboa loaded tell off and block DMs.

[@__Andy]

Huge respect for how introspective Chris is and how well he is able to communicate his feelings without fear of being judged. Mental health goals

[@The_Chad_]

Powerful. It was about the time we found out my wife was pregnant that I felt compelled to reach out to some people I hadn't been very nice to in school to apologize. They kinda blew me off or acted like it was never a big deal, which I hope it wasn't, but it still tormented me for quite a while just knowing I was more mean to people than they ever deserved.

[@AP-gb3eh]

It’s humiliating being bullied. It’s good to reach out but understand they have to process your apology in their own time. It affects them throughout life. It’s good to apologize but they owe you nothing. ☮️

[@niceguy6152]

Did ur wife eventually shit ur kid out? My personal experience is that nasty people stay nasty - they just learn different ways to do it.

[@hieronymuslarsson1388]

"...My adamant nature that everyone was able to judge something about me that i didn't know about myself..." A bully pays a lot of attention to their victim. They're in a sense obsessed by the victim, always observing what the victim says and does and _is_ , looking for any mis-step or weakness they can find. If you've really experienced that feeling in your defenseless formative years, of being _constantly observed_ by someone playfully looking for ways to embarrass, humiliate and berate you, it will never entirely leave you. You've been emotionally harmed in a way similar in principle to how soldiers with PTSD have been emotionally harmed. Oversensitized and anxious with regards to how much the details of how one is and behaves matters in the minds of other people. Bullying has many similarities with stalking. It's hard to defend oneself against someone maliciously obsessing over you. You're at a disadvantage because you will never bother to think as much of this nasty individual, as much as they do about you. It's not in your nature the way it is in their, you have other interests. Both in stalking and in bullying, much of the psychological terror is just evincing the obsession - the "i've been watching you"-messages that you get.

[@Make.a.change]

You are a proper man Chris. I'm 52 suffered the same stuff as a kid. And you have taught me a lot. You're never to old to learn.

[@bamboosho0t]

I was bullied in middle school from '88-'91. '86, these guys were my friends. But it was daily hell from them for 2.5 years. I've never spoken with one of them since, but I'm friends on SM with the other. We talked briefly about it a few years ago. His father had advanced diabetes and very sick; had a few appendages amputated. His older brothers constantly beat him up, so he took it out on me. One thing that experience taught me; everyone is not going to like you, no matter how nice you are. I didn't understand that, until those bullying years. I harbor no ill will. It forced me to grow up a bit faster and remove the rose-colored lenses. But we now champion each other's projects, largely around fitness.

[@pacervault3350]

Being bullied is tough. It taught me some great life skills though. I'm pretty chill, but if I see bullying? Look out. Can't tolerate it as an adult. Appreciate you both having this discussion.

[@jwhite5396]

My mom and dad were my biggest bullies. I was scared of everyone, but most treat me well and seem to like me. Now, I look at others and wonder if I will like them. Who cares if they like me. I know I’m a good person.

[@mpat100]

Thats tough J blessings for you now and in the future

[@JSF_7]

Powerful message. You cannot change the past but you can learn from it and change the future.

[@buzzbuzzard3809]

Thank you for sharing Chris and Goggins. I too was bullied in school. The pain from the bullying is long gone but the shame lingers, the shame of being less, the shame of not being man enough to prevent the bullying. It feels like a dark cloud over me, especially when looking back in quiet moments, this thought goes through my mind like "why could this dude be confident and have a gf and I was weak and miserable and couldn´t do well socially etc." It doesn´t torture me or anything but its unpleasant and it just messes with the masculine pride and competitiveness.

[@acrez3260]

I feel this, bullying was sort of brushed off compared to getting hit by your parents or something but the effects aren’t all that different. I froze up or wanted to run away or appease the attacker instead of fighting back and I always used to feel shame about that. Like “they’re your age, why can’t you just hit them” and I always tortured myself with those thoughts. One trauma response makes it harder to choose another and it compounds, I think people don’t realize that

[@buzzbuzzard3809]

@@acrez3260 Yeah and the problem with hitting is it doesn´t really solve the fundamental problem because in my experience other students and girls who tend to be weaker can protect themselves from bullying without relying on violence. I got into fights and it stopped the bullying yes but did it make me popular? Get me friends or girls? Not at all. At best I was left alone but didn't have anyone to rely on. Bullying is almost always a power imbalance, bullies run in packs and one on one they tend to be friendly. I wasn´t really bullied physically but mostly verbally. Yeah I was fortunate to have a good homelife but the treatment from peers over years is a heavy influence. It´s definitely a social dynamic and its complex and I still don´t understand it and I consider myself fairly smart. I think part of it is just bad luck as well, like a chemistry thing. If you´re an unusual person (can be positive too) its easier to be the odd one out. We could´ve had a different class and been accepted there. Sometimes you can just be a good person surrounded by primitive folk and just not fit in.

[@acrez3260]

@@buzzbuzzard3809 I’m reading a book on complex PTSD right now and it argues that verbal and emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse because it destroys your core self esteem and your identity so that’s definitely not an uncommon sentiment, people who were emotionally abused tend to minimize it because “at least they weren’t hit” which seems way less damaging than it actually is in our society

[@johnyiannacopoulos639]

Thanks for making me cry brotha hahah but I have been bullied in my youth, a bully in my teens, and the last few years of school I switched and started defending the kids I bullied. It is this cycle that needs to be broken, and the growth both of you made in this situation is beautiful.

[@stuartkynoch7289]

I'm from Newcastle upon Tyne but emigrated to Canada when i was a toddler. We moved back when I was 13. Moving back to Geordieland with what was perceived a "yank" accent was not the easiest. I was targeted by two classmates that started calling me all sorts of names I won't get into. Finally I had enough and as I walked into class behind one of the perps who was chanting a derision at me, I stotted his head hard off the wall in front of the whole class. It wasn't hard enough to injure him but hard enough to get his attention and not ask for more. The best part about it was the expression on his face of absolute stunned terror. I was never bothered again. He was a bully but a coward. I will tolerate so much but once I hit the fight line of fight/flight moment, some or all of us are going to have a bad day. I call it going "Geordie" on them ;)

[@baxtronicxavier]

That’s very sweet. Made me cry. I was bullied at school and it’s taken me 34 years to even get close to it no longer affecting me.

[@lilymcnabb6621]

David, God is not afraid of your expletive side. He speaks your language. He knows your heart. God is a rewarder of those who diligently pursue Him. You are definitely diligent and disciplined. Pastor David Goggins.... I am here for it.

[@TF80s]

Tbh, I don't think most bullies would even consider themselves bullies. I also think it's rare for someone to look back and realise how much emotional pain/damage they may have caused a person that they treated badly.

[@paulread7113]

Come off it, they revel in the pain they inflict and know exactly what they are doing.

[@NoriSoyjoy]

This resonated with me so much. Just too much to say. Never got over it, so much that it affected me as a person in the years to come. I would still get the pounding heart just thinking about it. Years down the line, even though the memory doesn’t haunt you as much, it never leaves you.

[@seanmccarthy1135]

My grandfather, WW II vet, used to always use the expression: be rough and tough and hard to bluff. It truly is all mental. Henry Ford quote: 'whether you believe you can do something or not, you are correct.' Never quit. The only times I failed were when I mentally quit. Goggins is true.

[@katenorfolk2327]

I feel I've never seen this vulernable side to you before. It's very endearing. I wish you would show us this side a little more as its really relatable. Thank you for sharing x

[@peterharrell7305]

I had bully issues until I started ignoring all the advice of the time and started taking a pound of flesh for myself when it would start happening. I became the hunter and relentlessly tormented my enemies every way I could. The fear turned into excitement.

[@2davivadiva]

Ohh boo boo sounds like you a psychopath

[@starmorpheus]

Okay Joker 😂😂

[@crashdude7589]

@Peter he hunted them down like the wild animals they are, nobody could stop him, vengeance had fully consumed his soul and body, every moment was a moment that his enemies would be in danger, no one was safe 😂😂😂

[@readmycomment3707]

The problem is when the coward bullies attack in groups or are a few years older than you. But yea I agree, when possible you should fight back.

[@seanatchley327]

Bullying has changed so much especially with the Internet being available to everyone. When I was growing up it was done face to face but now it's online and harder to fight. I still feel that raising kids to be confident in themselves, to know that those names they are being called are just words do not give them power, not everyone is supposed to like you or be your friend. A reaction is what they want from you do not give them one. Stick up for anyone that's being bullied.

[@tipsygypsy711]

"Do something that sucks every day!" Amen to that..

[@SirTheoTheWhite]

It takes solid and kind person to react the way Mr. Williamson did in this situation. Bravo

[@mikepaulus4766]

I was bullied from 5th-8th grade. It ended when I put my fist in his face. He blew my face up after that, but that was the end. Picking on me was no longer free. I don't know how, but he died at 35.

[@tf5920]

There were 1 or 2 instances where I was bullied by a group of kids for a few weeks but it died down when I joined the school football (soccer) team. They were also in that team, and they respected my ability at that sport and although we didn't become friends, they treated me better. I also started to show self confidence around them and they sensed that. I know that many bullies are usually abused at home by their parents and they take it out at school on other kids as a way to cope with it, and they don't know any better. But these bullies were not like that; their parents seemed like nice people (I saw and interacted with them at games). These kids were cowards and timid when alone, but as a group they became a team of bullies. They also never apologized to me or other kids they bullied, and they never showed remorse. They just simply stopped bullying and that's also how it goes most of the time. In this case it's great that the person reached out to apologize, because some people never get over their traumas.

[@JapanReels]

This discussion is a good illustration of the concepts described in The 4th Turning. Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. We are are in the 4th turning.

[@dash4800]

I'm always fascinated by how widespread bullying is considering I went to a massive school and never saw it anywhere. Everyone was on pretty cool terms with everyone and I never saw people picking on, harassing, beating up kids or singling someone out for no reason. I even discussed this with friends from back then and they agreed it wasn't a thing in our schools.

[@PPodpiska]

And i am fascinated that there is a place on Earth where kids never experienced bullying)

[@jurassicthunder]

sometimes it is not that obvious but rather happens in small moments, maybe with words, looks, laughs.

[@dash4800]

@@PPodpiska they only things that ever happened were the random fights or whatever that people forget the next day. All of the kids we went to school with went to school together since kindergarten. Sure we made fun of each other and all that but nothing like a "bully" who just goes around picking on kids or the kid who is ostracized by his classmates and they all pick on him or anything like that. The "weird" kid with the coke bottle glasses didn't sit with the "cool" kids at lunch but they also didn't ever come over and bother anyone, or bother to make a stop at his locker to pick on him. And when school was out we all went the the weird kids house every day to ask him to play football because we needed people. And I don't consider getting made fun of because you did something embarrassing or the random teasing that everyone gets to be bullying. People looking at you weird because you have a terrible haircut isnt bullying. And making a count of these sorts of instances and contorting in your mind that they are all focused on you rather than just normal everyday things that we all experience does not make it bullying. When I say bullying I mean specific, targeted harrassment for no reason other than to make yourself feel better. And I never saw anything like that.

[@DG-mk7kd]

Bullying can go too far, but so can being coddled I don't think a world without bullies would be a better place

[@vields2352]

There are bully’s who bully people out of hurt and frustration and grow up and regret it, but there are bully’s who are genuinely psychopaths who enjoy inflicting pain and bullying in the school yard is only the beginning of the wake of human suffering they will leave behind them.

[@evo7572]

15 Min ago I didn’t know Chris. When he was talking about his experiences in school, that really got straight to my heart, cuz I had a very similar time. I thought about how I would feel, when my bully would write me a text like that and I felt almost afraid of it. Thanks to this video, I come to the point of view, that everything was for a reason. It was my decision back than to react like I did to the situation and caused myself unnecessary pain. Good learning, but now its time to let go of this pattern or protection mechanism. Thanks for your video and that you decided at one point of your life, that what you have to say might be important to somebody. I’m gonna do the same now. 🙏🙂

[@Rock-n-Rolla369]

One of the sad realities for kids who are bullied today is that when they go home, the bullying doesn’t end. Social media is just another tool that bullies can use to hurt people. I’m in my mid-30’s now, and I was bullied growing up, but at least I could call “home” a safe place, a refuge. I can’t imagine how kids are coping today.

[@barakato]

i would've been made fun of then I'll come back to my home to get beaten by my older brother, school bullies were better than my own brother.

[@andreasleonhard1512]

I was a bully in school. I was a bully because I had it terrible childhood, so the pain I felt at home, I brought to school and took out on others. When I was around 11-12 years old, I had a dream that one of the guys I was bullying, committed suicide by jumping off a building. It had a huge impact on me and that was the last time I bullied anyone. Today he is actually one of my best friends. When I ask him if he remembers me bullying him, he says he doesn't remember it, but I think it's the "almost 30" years since then that have overshadowed it. I really think people need to pay attention to parents of bullies because it doesn't come out of the blue.

[@MCharlerySmith]

Dreams are powerful, supernatural and one of God's great gifts of communication to us. Thank you for sharing your experience of the Divine and how it cleansed your soul.

[@jonesjermaine4387]

Went to high-school with Hindu Guy, we got into an argument one day in Social Studies about and how I thought George McClellan was a coward and a yellow belly after class he came up behind me while I was at my locker and whisper in my ear to "Whip it Out" I was stunned and as he walked away he called me a coward biggest regret of my life wouldn't be surprised if they made this into a movie.

[@nikki27ish]

Some people are just sociopaths who enjoy inflicting pain and humiliation on others. You were clearly suffering your own hell and I'm glad you chose to end that, but it isn't the case for many.

[@JBplumbing12]

@@MCharlerySmith That is true for sure. Nearly every great and pivotal realisation of my life has come from dreams.

[@notinterested8452]

@@jonesjermaine4387 Hindu means facing genocidal bullying from birth until death in a state of perpetual warfare, that kid, living in America as a lonesome Hindu probably faced very heavy accusations of cowardice. It is a common accusation leveled against Hindus. So, he projected his insecurity onto you. What a shame.

[@darlalove]

I was a military kid, we were treated like garbage every public school we went to. I was so happy when school would be on base. I’m 60 and never will forget it. They were just a reflection of their awful parents. I made sure my kids understood about bullying long before it was talked about.

[@banzy3]

A good friend of mine was a victim of bullying at school. He was twice the size of all the other kids at school, a tall, big built lad, and the bullies made his life a misery because he would never hit back. He knew if he did he might cause some real damage, and so never gave them incentive to stop... As an adult he's a big chap still, and a cop, the sort that has a way with words and throughout his long career has always been able to defuse a situation with a calm stoic attitude. I never suffered the same fate, although at 16 the big bully at the school did have a go at me one day. He started hitting me in the arm, followed by an insult, then increased the intensity of the punch. I took the bruises, and never reacted to the pain, but with each punch I gave some witty sarcastic response back to them, many of which went over their head. I thought from then on I would be his new target, so when I encountered him with his gang of bully mates outside of school I thought I was done for, but instead he went out of his way to say hello, and from then on, every time I passed him he'd always acknowledge me... I don't know their whole story, but I do remember a few people telling me his Dad would beat him badly. These days I believe he serves in the army.

[@ericdraven3654]

You are an exceptional interviewer and your podcast is going to educate and help so many people, so maybe something good came out of those awful years.

[@johnfoo628]

A heartwarming story to hear, unfortunately a lot of person's don't get to experience this sort of 'catharsis' in which the aggressor seeks redemption through your validation. It's true, to experience bulling as a young child has very large implications for the following 20 or 30 years, on how you respect and conduct yourself and the outlook on the world. Children and adolescents can be merciless.

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you Gentlemen for talking about bullying. It is going on everywhere, not only at schools or work but in families as well. Chosen suffering is arming us against unchosen suffering. This is really the case.

[@Oneironaut9]

Looking back at the times I was bullied, as difficult as it was, I can thank my bullies. Success (in the eyes of the world) or not, being bullied was absolutely instrumental for my development, and for seeking far more depth and meaning in my life, far more discipline, decency, growth, knowledge (or at least desire for it), spirituality, emotional intelligence, humility, wisdom, resolve, delayed gratification and all other monumentally beneficial characteristics which I am still building upon, and will for the rest of my decades in this life and beyond. It is unfortunate for them, that they likely did not receive the blessings they unconsciously bestowed upon me. I hold no ill will, only gratitude.

[@ot7stan207]

My bully didnt know he was my bully and he went to afghanistan. I was the only person from high school who wrote to him while he was there. He apologized to me and I hope the best for him now.

[@ClintByrne]

It sucked being bullied but it also made me mentally way stronger and independent because I realized I didn't need acceptance from people who weren't worthy of it.

[@jurassicthunder]

"not a single drop of my self worth is dependent on your acceptance of me"

[@cikame]

I was bullied over 20 years ago and i still carry that hatred and fear with me, i don't know if i can blame it for how my life is going that feels too easy but it probably helped shape how i see myself. I don't know when healing is supposed to happen, if i received an apology from them I'd be so angry.

[@joeyc666]

Hi there, sorry to hear. I went through a similar experience. For me, it was almost 30 years ago. I have gone through some journaling therapy which has helped a lot :) If you're interested, I can give you more information. It's based of James Pennebaker's method (I saw it on the HubermanLab podcast) Here's to healing.

[@davedogge2280]

Chosen Suffering .. do something that sucks everyday to prepare yourself for unchosen suffering. That's brilliant advice right there, bravo David Goggins.

[@edzanjero353]

The reason I began in martial arts at 21 was due to high school bullying, particularly one guy. I learned years later his bullying behavior was out of anger towards a stern-severe father.

[@mattnelson8325]

You two are the perfect pairing to deliver this message. I absolutely love your channel. Thank you for all of your hard work and dedication.

[@jrrizz0563]

I got picked on from 3rd grade through 7th grade and then spent the entirety of my high school years alone with no friends. I never thought it affected me much but it truly did. I’m 30 now and I’m still soft spoken, have a hard time looking people in the eyes when I talk to them, and don’t really have any friends. I’ve been in therapy but I could never really pinpoint where things went wrong in life. But now I realize I am suffering and it’s only getting harder as the years pass. Abandonment issues, overwhelming need to feel wanted, comparing myself to people.. the list goes on and on.