Christian Testimony - Freedom from Eating Disorder and Legalism

I am being rebaptized at my church this Sunday. The church gives each person being baptized an opportunity to share their testimony. A video is made as a keepsake, and parts of my video will be played at church when I'm baptized. Jesus is my everything, and I want to share this public statement with everyone in the hopes that it may help someone else. I was severely buimic for about two years, binging on large quantities of food and throwing it up 3-5 times per day. It got to the point where my body would feel extemely sick even eating a few bites of oatmeal or fruit. My heart would hurt and pound and I would fear I would have a heart attack.
I went from never having had acid reflux in my life to being prescribed four omeprazole per day due to the severe acid reflux. I have not been bulimic in five years now, and I still take one omeprazole per day. I neglected to mention in the video that I also had an eating disorder doctor who prescribed other medications for me to try to decrease the binging/purging that did not help me at all that had awful side effects for me, none of which did I stay on for more than a few days. I am an intelligent person with a master's degree who completed 8 years of college. I had many people wanting me to go to rehab, but I would not go because I did not think it would have any effect on the eating disorder as I had already been trying to fix it since I was 14 and it had only gotten worse. I had already tried using all the resources I could find. I would try using all my might repeatedly to stop with whatever new book or method I found, counting down the days I could go without purging on my calendar, trying with everything in me, and it was not possible. I might get 30 days or 60 days but then I'd fall back and succumb once more. To add more backstory, I heavily restricted my food and exercised a ton when going through puberty, which caused my body to go into a famine state, which led to my developing binge eating disorder from that young age. I then attempted to control that through more dieting and large amounts of exercise (exercise bulimia) from 14 up until 27, when it became vomiting bulimia for those two years. This was a very deep and severe eating disorder that no doctor, drug, psychologist, eating disorder book, or support group could make a dent in, and I tried MANY. Jesus went against all laws of my reality and renewed my mind. All of my efforts apart from Jesus amounted to nothing and did not provide any lasting change. If you have an addiction and think there is no way out - if the harder you try, the worse it gets, know that there is a way out! And His name is Jesus! Jesus can renew your mind. He did for me what I feared was impossible. I was in a deep dark pit, trying to claw my way out, and every time I got a little ways up, I fell back down and sank into the pit deeper. Jesus stood at the top of that pit on the solid ground, and He reached down His hand and told me how much He loved me. He communicated to me that He was not disgusted by me at all and that He loved me so massively, and if I just focused on Him and pursued my relationship with Him, He could pull me out of that deep dark pit. AND HE DID IT. He is more incredible and amazing than I think people can fathom. He sets the captives free. He breaks every chain. He is EVERYTHING. HE IS LOVE.
"I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.
He freed me from all my fears.
Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened;
he saved me from all my troubles." - Psalm 34: 4-6
"...He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound." -Isaiah 61:1b
"For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds." -2 Corinthians 10:4

[@marcgalaske4348]

Michelle, I am sitting in my office wiping tears from my eyes... I am so very grateful that Jesus broke through it all and came to you. No words are more true, HE has done it all. Because we couldn't get to him on our own, he came to us. I am so proud of you! But ever so more grateful to Jesus!! You are right... God IS love!!

[@36742650885]

Please pray for me I’ve been suffering from depression,headaches and confusion I need the intercession of Gods children thank you I’ve been struggling as to how to receive the Grace God offers

[@michelleclark537]

Tatersalad19 Cars Hi, I'm sorry I did not ever see this comment until right now because you replied to someone else's comment, not directly to the video. I prayed for you. Get a Bible that is a good understandable version if you don't have one, like the NLT or NIV. I love the NLT Study Bible. It has great notes to add understanding and insight. Also I love this sermon: www.thecrossingchurch.com/media-feeds/seeing-sin-through-the-eyes-of-grace/. I highly recommend it. Read Romans 10:9-10. Let me know if I can help more!

[@paulmartin5424]

​@@michelleclark537 I'm.also a Christian sister Michelle amen since I have been a Christian god has so blessed me amen ✝️✝️✝️👍

[@sydneybaker4163]

Keep believing in the lord Michelle….. Jesus Christ is our saviour 🫶🏾

[@PreparingTheWay94]

AMEN!! Glory to God sister.. The letter kills but the Spirit gives life (2 Cor 3:6)

[@nicolesoul95]

Thank you for sharing your testimony! I can relate to many parts of it. Still on my healing journey, but by the Grace of God, I will get there. Jesus is Lord !

[@michelleclark537]

That's wonderful! Love to you! I'll be praying for you! Hugs! Yes, Jesus is Lord!! He's so so so so good and amazing!!

[@ChristopherCC1983]

Im going through this same thing , its like i was trying to obey the law and then i got tired and now i have given up , i have eating disorder also , its like i don’t know when i am full sometimes . I have been reading books and watching utube etc looking for answers on how to escape legalism and i have studied bible too . I think after hearing your testimony that i should seek God more and also find someone to explain grace to me . Thank you for your testimony i appreciate it and sorry you had to go through all that and i am glad you have found freedom

[@michelleclark537]

Thank you so much! I have the NLT Life Application Study Bible. It has great commentary that is really helpful and it's easy to understand. I love my Bible. I also found the book Victory in Spiritual Warfare by Tony Evans really helpful when I was going through that. My church is Abundant Life in Lee's Summit, MO. The sermons are posted on KZbin. They are great. I do agree that seeking God is the most important thing! He can give you the power to do what pleases Him. Pray, read the Bible, worship, listen to good sermons like what I recommended from my church, try to get into Christian community with other believers (like a Christian small group or Bible study) so that they can build you up and pray for you. You want to replace all the lies you believe with truth. Reading the Bible is the best thing for that. Having good commentary like in the Bible I recommended can help. Jesus can set you free!!!!!! He has completely changed me for the better! That was like 11/12 years ago! Jesus is what your soul needs. He can give you peace and joy! I will pray for you!

[@ChristopherCC1983]

@@michelleclark537 i read the exact same Bible and i love the NLT version , its so easy to understand . I will go and have a look at this book and thank you for the recommendation and thanks for your help

[@ChristopherCC1983]

Your testimony is exactly what i am going through btw and i feel so sorry for you that you went through all this for so long 😢

[@michelleclark537]

⁠@@ChristopherCC1983that's really cool that you have the same Bible!! I love it, too. I hope the book is helpful. Awww, thank you! God has been soooo good to me. He really does work all things together for good in my life (Romans 8:28). I can see it now! I've grown so close to Him through everything, and He's changed me so much. I'm so thankful! It really is my pleasure to try to help however I can. I think God lead you to my video. He's so good!

[@Xandy2dandY]

Hi Michelle (my namesake yay ☺️❤️). I am so honoured to have come across your testimony. Only God could have brought me to watch this coz honestly, I don't have any eating disorders. But here I am. The one and most important thing I think we have in common, is everything else except the eating. The upbringing in the church without the right gospe, the legalism, the giving up and living for myself coz it became too hard. It was three weeks ago or so, that God changed my life through conviction of my spirit. The true Gospel found me. God found me. He grabbed me from the depths of hell and showed me the truth. I tell you the truth when I say I've never realised how much I thought of God as some sort of dictator and didn't really care, but how wrong was I? I'm so grateful to know someone who's gone on a similar (yet different) journey and it gives me great pleasure. Blessings to you and thank you for your courage for sharing your testimony. God is for us, He is the treasure in whom we find our full satisfaction. Bless you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@michelleclark537]

Oh wow, that's so wonderful to hear, Michelle! Yes, Jesus really is mind-blowingly amazing. I'm so so glad I understand the gospel correctly now. I'm so thankful for a close relationship with Jesus now and all of his love and grace poured out on me. I'm so happy to hear some of your story and that God brought you to watch my testimony. Yes, His love is so incredible! ❤️😁

[@Xandy2dandY]

@@michelleclark537 thank you for taking your time to respond. And AMEN 😁❤️❤️

[@jrodlange8099]

Wow this is a trip. I came here because I have about 10-12 videos that I randomly pull up about once or twice a year just for enjoyment purposes. Mostly they're music and involve a personal touch. I've always enjoyed this gals tribute to her parents with their anniversary video. Plus I love the song. Wasn't expecting this. But I'm happy for you young lady. While I had/have a different set of issues, the Lord finding me again has been the most incredible, blessed experience of my life. And the reality is it had absolutely nothing to do with me. It was and is all Jesus. 100%. How I think, act, pray, and live. This young lady is right on the money. Coming to the Lord in complete submission and humility and relying completely on him is the greatest gift I've ever received. I'm so happy for you Michelle and may the Lord prepare a place for you. P.S. I hope your folks are doing well and I'm confident they're proud of you

[@michelleclark537]

Hi! I just saw your comment now, sorry. I'm so glad you loved the anniversary video I made. And I'm SOOO glad to hear how Jesus is with you and what He has done in your life. My parents are doing great! They are still very happily married and have been since 1980. I am so thankful for my family and all the ways Jesus has blessed and is blessing my life!!!

[@jrodlange8099]

Michelle, Now I have to apologize for the late response. I saw your reply a few months, intended a quick response, and promptly got distracted and forgot about your message. The take away, thank goodness Jesus doesn't forget!! Oh, with the exception of our sin which blows me away. Hope your doing well and may the Lord continue to bless you and your family.

[@raquelbotero2588]

What an amazing testimony!!! Thank you so much for sharing!! I am a Christian counselor and will be sharing your testimony with one of my clients who is suffering from bulimia. Jesus frees the captives, He is all we need!!!

[@michelleclark537]

Raquel Botero Yes, He is everything to me. Thank you so much for sharing my testimony! I hope very much that it helps your client. There is more info in the description if you didn't already see that.

[@rachaelchapman6870]

Awesome testimony Michelle!! So happy to see what God has done for you! He is the true source!!

[@michelleclark537]

Thank you, Rachael!

[@bevee3711]

Bless your precious soul..thank you for such a heartfelt message. I pray that I will also be released from this. Thank you so much, sister ❤

[@michelleclark537]

Hi Bevee, I just had time to write a longer response to someone else's comment on this video, and I thought it could also be helpful to you, so I'll put it here as well. You can truly be free! I am living proof. God can truly renew your heart and mind, I am telling you! I am not living in that nightmare anymore! And I was for sooo long. Yes, focus on Jesus. Just stop focusing on the food and the weight. You can't free yourself. But Jesus can. It's okay to acknowledge that you can't do it. Your striving is not enough. Jesus knows you can't do it. But He loves you massively, and He is saying that you should just focus on Him, and He will set you free. Just like Peter walked on the water, and then he began to sink when he took his eyes off of Jesus. Not being a slave to the food and the binging is like walking on water, right?! It seems like that would go against the laws of reality for you, right? It sure did to me. I thought there was no way I could ever be free. I thought that I would suffer in that miserable nightmare forever. But THAT IS A LIE. Satan is the Father of Lies. You can be free! Believe me. Jesus can CHANGE THE LAWS OF REALITY for you. He can part the Red Sea for you and walk you right out of your Egypt. He did it for me. I have been free for many years now. One day several years ago, I realized that I had forgotten some candy in my cabinet in the kitchen, and I collapsed sobbing crying so hard praising Jesus SOOOO MUCH, because in that moment, I realized the food was not screaming at me anymore. He had renewed my mind. He had fixed it. He had changed the laws of reality for me. And the way that happened was by me stopping trying to solve the problem myself. I acknowledged to Jesus that I was just a hopeless wreck without Him. It was like I was stuck at the very bottom of a VERY DEEP pit, and I had clawed and clawed and clawed for so many years trying everything the world had to offer to try to get out, and there was absolutely no hope for me. And then Jesus came to the top of the pit, and He said to me that He knew I could never get out. He knew I couldn't stand myself. But He loved me so massively anyway, and I could stop focusing on trying to solve the problem. I could stop focusing on trying to change myself, because I could never change myself. I could stop focusing on how I was doing. I could just focus on Him. When you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and believe that He died and rose again to pay the price for all of your sins past, present, and future and you make Him the Lord of your life, Jesus no longer sees your sin when He looks at you. You are free. I was free to just worship Him. He will sanctify you through your relationship with Him, meaning He will help you to gradually put sin to death in your life when you just focus on Him and your relationship with Him. You don't need to focus on the sin. He will set you free of the sin as a byproduct of your relationship with Him. I highly recommend that you buy the book "Victory in Spiritual Warfare" by Tony Evans. It was very helpful to me when I was going through all of this! Praise Jesus for how much He loves you. Praise Him that He is going to set you free. Have faith that He will do it, and give Him the glory for it. Put Scripture all over your house, by your light switches, on your mirror, on your walls, in your car. Meditate on scripture. Listen to sermons. My church is Abundant Life in Lee's Summit, MO. They had a sermon on healing just today! It's a great church if you want to stream the sermons. But yeah, it's okay that you can't do it. Jesus can do this for you. He wants to heal you. He can fix you. He can set you free from these chains. All you have to do is focus on Him, draw close to Him, praise Him for this work He will do in you. Praise Him for how much He loves you and is for you, even though you don't deserve it (as none of us do). Praise Him that He has already forgiven you of all of your sins, if He is your Lord and Savior. He loves you so massively! He wants to pull you right up out of that pit! He can do it! I love you, too! My heart goes out to you. I was on Omeprazole for many years, and I have not been on it now in many years! Jesus can heal you, I'm telling you! I am free! He is soooo amazing! This was the sermon from my church just today - kzbin.info/www/bejne/iXmUfWNpotOCfrc

[@bevee3711]

@@michelleclark537 This brought me to tears, you are so right. I have to lean on him with everything. Thank you for taking the time to write me back, it was just what I needed this morning. Love, peace and blessings to you 💕

[@michelleclark537]

@@bevee3711 I'm so glad it was helpful. I'll pray for you! ❤❤❤

[@leeleewaters1451]

I know! It's like being trapped in a cage but the door is wide open to freedom and you just can't see it. I've been down this path too. Jesus is our Prince of Peace❤️

[@michelleclark537]

Sorry, I just saw your comment now. I just wrote a longer comment to someone else if you are still struggling with this! Jesus is so amazing. I can share more with you if you want more info on how Jesus got me through this! Love to you!

[@elle4944]

Wow beautiful testimony!

[@ndodson1720]

Wow! This is me

[@marycluff6977]

Hi. How did you get close or go after Jesus.

[@michelleclark537]

Hi Mary! I read the Bible, pray (talk to Him all the time), worship, put scripture up in my house (on post its or note cards), am very involved in church and church activities (small group, church groups and events), watch sermons online, and read Christian books. It's a relationship. He is everything to me so I want to talk to Him and read the Bible. He communicates with me through the Bible and I learn more about Him through reading the Bible, so that I can glorify and praise Him for who He is all the more. I love worshipping Him, too. The Holy Spirit really meets with me (fills me with joy and thankfulness and I can feel His presence). Everything your soul is longing for us found in Him - through getting to know Him and love Him more every day. It's what you are longing for. He is the Bread of Life. He is living water. You need to spend time with Him every day like you need food and water. It's through the relationship with Him the He renews your mind to free people from the chains that bind them. If you focus on Him and not the sin, He will do the work to free you of it (good chance not all at once but gradually day by day, renewing your mind). He loves you so so much!!! Great pastors you can listen to online are Matt Chandler from The Village Church in Texas, Phil Hopper from Abundant Life in Lee's Summit, MO, and one I listened to a ton when I was going through all of that that helped me a lot was Dave Cover from The Crossing in Columbia, MO, though I haven't listened to him in awhile now. When I do visit The Crossing, it's still great, though.

[@marycluff6977]

Thanks SO much Michelle. Alot of your story sounds like mine. Please pray that what He did for you He would do for me. How did you stop hating yourself. Need freedom from this.

[@michelleclark537]

Mary Cluff I will pray for you! It's about getting your focus off of yourself and how you are doing and instead focusing on Jesus. Ask Him to help you to view yourself how He views you. If you believe on Him and have prayed for forgiveness of your sins through His death and resurrection and you want to give up on controlling your life and let Him be the Lord of your life (let Him be in control), then He already paid the price for all of your sins (past, present, and future). You are washed white as snow in His eyes. He loves you massively and He is not disgusted by you. He hates sin but He loves you. He made you and He does not make mistakes. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (see Psalm 139:14). Read the book of Psalms. Read Romans 7 and 8. The more you read the Bible and the more you fall in love with Jesus and focus on Him and not yourself, the more you will start to view yourself how He views you. He can fix your view of yourself so that you can love yourself as He first loved you. You are a child of the most high King when you have been saved by Him by putting your faith in Him and Him alone for your salvation. It's not by anything you have done. Accept that you are a mess just like everyone else is a mess. We are all sinful. Once you give up full control to Him (decide you want to submit full control of your life to Him), then you can see Him take over and begin to renew and restore. It's when we give up trying to fix ourselves that He can fix us. The more I tried to fix myself, the deeper I went into the pit. He is the great Healer! He can do the work in you that you can never do for yourself. It happens through spending time with Him. Also, He is near to the broken hearted (see Psalm 34:18). I have a lot of scripture on my Instagram. It's mgcdh8 if you want to follow me and look back at scripture I've posted.

[@MakeupForMatureSkin]

Thank you so much for sharing your journey and testimony. God bless you!

[@michelleclark537]

Thank you! God bless you, too!

[@AdamBror]

@@michelleclark537 What do you think about this, I have had a hard time eating food because I constantly thought it was gluttony if I ate when I was full and have had a hard time enjoying food because I constatly think not to eat too much as to not go over that "gluttony line" I think it is the devil trying to deceive me, what do you think? Is this similar to what you experienced?

[@michelleclark537]

​@@AdamBror Hi! It sounds like you have a legalistic mindset with food. This does sound similar to the problem I had when I was younger. If Jesus is your Lord and Savior and you have asked Him for forgiveness of your sins, and you believe He is the Son of God and that He died on the cross and rose again to pay the price for all of your sins, then He has paid the price for all of your sins, past, present, and future. You do not need to focus on your sin. Focus on Jesus. That means, if you start focusing on "how you are doing" as far as how well you are eating or whether you are eating too much, etc., then move your focus to Jesus. Start talking to Jesus. The key is to focus on Him and not the sin. He will renew your mind and heart. He will change your desires so that you WANT to do what pleases Him. You don't have to focus on the food. This is what I learned from my counselor a long time ago: All food is a gift from God to be received with thanksgiving. Food is given to us to nourish our bodies and to be enjoyed in moderation, preferably in a community for fellowship and growth. Food should never terminate on itself. It should be used to worship God. Don't think about how you're doing. Just focus on loving and trusting Jesus. John 3:14-15 says, "Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him." When the verse refers to Moses, that goes with an Old Testament story told in Numbers 21:4-9. Basically, the Israelites had to look at a serpent on a pole to be healed. And John 3:14-15 is saying that now, we as Christians must put our focus on Jesus to be healed. So do not focus on how you are doing!! Focus on Jesus! And praise Him for dying for your sins and paying the price for all of them! You don't have to focus on your sins anymore if He is your Lord and Savior! He paid the bill if you believe He is the Son of God and He died for your sins and rose again. So He has set you free of your sins! Just focus on Him and your relationship with Him! He will change you!

[@michelleclark537]

@@AdamBror please don't miss the comment I did for you before this, but I just wanted to add that Galatians is a wonderful book that talks about how we are saved by faith in Jesus Christ, not by keeping the law. "Salvation is by God's grace through faith in Christ Jesus and nothing else. Faith in Christ means true freedom." That's from my Bible commentary on Galatians.

[@Shepardisthelamb]

I just don't get it!! And I'm angry... It's Like I flew into some relationship where I have to obey all these rules and try to surender My self.. but dont understand...what should I do and how..do I have a mission? Why am I Here? Should I just suffer in his name? He gave me New pair of eyes, to see that My life was wrong.. but he did not gave me directions how to live a New one..he didn't cure me of mental illness,depression, binging,spine problems. I just don't know what to do...It feels Like I just don't have that something special to feel him and connect.. All I can do is think about him...but My heart is still old,suicidal and distant..

[@michelleclark537]

I am so sorry you are feeling that way. Focus on Jesus and deepening your relationship with Him by learning more about who He is and worshipping Him. Read the New Testament. Listen to worship music. Pray (talk to Jesus). Get into a good church. Get connected to other believers. Try to stop focusing on yourself and your issues and how you are doing and instead focus on Jesus. Fix your eyes on Him. He will renew your mind and fix your thoughts and give you different desires the more you spend time in His word and worshipping and praying. It will be a byproduct of your relationship with Him. Focusing on your problems won't fix them. But if you focus on Jesus and pursuing getting closer and closer to Him, He can do what we can never do for ourselves. He makes all things NEW!! I will pray for you.

[@Shepardisthelamb]

@@michelleclark537 tnx.. I do everything you say, but I feel Like I'm faking it...there is no Spark,faith ... And how can I even have a Spark and faith until he fills me.. It's Like I'm a zombie and what ever I do is empty-doing..and when I pray for a Spark, it's empty prayer.. Empty Cycle... Thanks for prayer 🙄

[@michelleclark537]

@@Shepardisthelamb You might want to try fasting along with reading the Bible, praying, and worshipping. Call out to Him and say all of that to Him. Talk to Him from the deepest part of your heart. While you are fasting and praying, you can also try flipping your Bible open and reading where it lands. The fact that you have the desire to have a relationship with Him is because HE DOES CARE. He gave that desire to you. The Holy Spirit is at work in you, giving you the desire to type these comments to me right now. He loves you a massive ton. He will start to blow you away the more time you spend with Him. It isn't an overnight renewing of your mind, at least not in my experience, but if you keep going after Him, you will look back in a few years and be blown away by all He will have done in you in that time. I'm telling you, it will get so awesome! Just keep spending time with Him. Fight for time with Him. It will be extremely worth it! The Bible I have is an NLT Life Application Study Bible. It is excellent. It has great commentary to help me to apply things to my life. It is easy to understand. If you don't have an NLT or NIV Bible, you might want to consider getting one. You want a Bible that is easy for you to understand. Jesus loves you a ton. I am praying for you.

[@Shepardisthelamb]

@@michelleclark537 how do I spend time with Jesus? Besides going to church and praying...

[@michelleclark537]

@@Shepardisthelamb This is my Spotify worship playlist. open.spotify.com/playlist/27pfUxoLyH5yCMhiUAh7hP?si=3OFw-OM1TsGwXfv79slHAA It is great to listen to worship music and sing to Him. Those are some of my favorite worship songs. Also, just talk to Him all through your day. It is a relationship. You can talk to Him! And the more you read the Bible, you will find that He talks back to you! HE REALLY DOES! It is incredible. It is not a one sided relationship wtih some far off God up in the sky. He wants a close, intimate relationship with you. You can talk to Him about your day. You can talk to Him about your life. And read the Bible, and you will find that He talks back to you. I have also been doing a Bible plan on the YouVersion Bible app. YouVersion is a free app you can download. The free Bible plan I am doing is called The Bible Recap with Tara-Leigh Cobble. You can get that plan on the YouVersion app when you search for it. Then, you will listen to certain chapters of the Bible each day. There is a corresponding podcast that goes with each day. That is on your podcast app for whatever type of phone you have. You just look up the Bible Recap on your podcast app, and you will get it.

[@narcissistinjurygiver2932]

"But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments" (Matthew 19:17). "Do not think that I came to destroy the Law" (Matthew 5:17) The messiah and his 12 kept the law and taught us to keep the law. They were legalistic. 1 John 23 The way we can be sure we know him is if we are obeying his commands. 4 Anyone who says, “I know him,” but isn’t obeying his commands is a liar - the truth is not in him. so the 10 commandments are not burdensome. I love them and keep them. If you want Elohim in your life then obey his commandments. This will mean that you come out of all the religions including the biggest one on earth called christianity as it is non complaint with the 10 commandments. if you want to be great in the kingdom of heaven then do this. mathew 5 7 “Don’t think that I have come to abolish the Torah or the Prophets. I have come not to abolish but to complete. 18 Yes indeed! I tell you that until heaven and earth pass away, not so much as a yud or a stroke will pass from the Torah - not until everything that must happen has happened. 19 So whoever disobeys the least of these mitzvot and teaches others to do so will be called the least in the Kingdom of Heaven. But whoever obeys them and so teaches will be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven.

[@michelleclark537]

dann hienn Hi! The law is good!!! But we cannot keep it on our own. It is through the relationship with Jesus that He begins to change our desires, and it is through the Holy Spirit at work within us that He enables us to keep the law! If you try to keep the law without pursuing a close personal relationship with Jesus, you will fail. That was what I learned. Also, we cannot be perfect in this life. We can put more and more sin to death and become more and more the person we were created to be, but that is a product of a close relationship with Jesus. Read Romans chapters 7 and 8.

[@narcissistinjurygiver2932]

@@michelleclark537 what part of the 10 commandments can you not keep?

[@michelleclark537]

dann hienn I never said we shouldn't keep the ten commandments. We should.

[@michelleclark537]

dann hienn Read Romans chapters 7 and 8 if you are wanting my full perspective on the law.

[@michelleclark537]

dann hienn also I added to my first reply so maybe see if you saw the whole thing.

[@Check_the_syntax]

AMAZING :) glad this was recommended

[@apjoeapjoe]

I’m humbled by your vulnerability. I hope and pray for your continued health and well-being. Peace and grace sister.

[@michelleclark537]

Thank you so much, Anthony!

[@wendykrugman8195]

Thank you soo much for your story!!! You just made my day!! Ive been in the illness for a long time and had all kinds of treatments. I keep searching for the answer. I know the Lord is the answer!! Please keep sharing your story!!!!

[@michelleclark537]

Sorry, I just saw your comment now. This makes me so happy to hear! Jesus can 100% set you free of it!!! He loves you so much. He can renew your heart and mind. Just move your focus to Him and off the food. Don't worry about how you are doing. He has already forgiven all of your sins past, present, and future if He is your Lord and Savior. Just focus on Him.

[@michelleclark537]

Hi Wendy, I hope you are doing better. I just had time to write a longer comment to someone on this video, so I wanted to share it with you, too, in case it is helpful. You can truly be free! I am living proof. God can truly renew your heart and mind, I am telling you! I am not living in that nightmare anymore! And I was for sooo long. Yes, focus on Jesus. Just stop focusing on the food and the weight. You can't free yourself. But Jesus can. It's okay to acknowledge that you can't do it. Your striving is not enough. Jesus knows you can't do it. But He loves you massively, and He is saying that you should just focus on Him, and He will set you free. Just like Peter walked on the water, and then he began to sink when he took his eyes off of Jesus. Not being a slave to the food and the binging is like walking on water, right?! It seems like that would go against the laws of reality for you, right? It sure did to me. I thought there was no way I could ever be free. I thought that I would suffer in that miserable nightmare forever. But THAT IS A LIE. Satan is the Father of Lies. You can be free! Believe me. Jesus can CHANGE THE LAWS OF REALITY for you. He can part the Red Sea for you and walk you right out of your Egypt. He did it for me. I have been free for many years now. One day several years ago, I realized that I had forgotten some candy in my cabinet in the kitchen, and I collapsed sobbing crying so hard praising Jesus SOOOO MUCH, because in that moment, I realized the food was not screaming at me anymore. He had renewed my mind. He had fixed it. He had changed the laws of reality for me. And the way that happened was by me stopping trying to solve the problem myself. I acknowledged to Jesus that I was just a hopeless wreck without Him. It was like I was stuck at the very bottom of a VERY DEEP pit, and I had clawed and clawed and clawed for so many years trying everything the world had to offer to try to get out, and there was absolutely no hope for me. And then Jesus came to the top of the pit, and He said to me that He knew I could never get out. He knew I couldn't stand myself. But He loved me so massively anyway, and I could stop focusing on trying to solve the problem. I could stop focusing on trying to change myself, because I could never change myself. I could stop focusing on how I was doing. I could just focus on Him. When you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and believe that He died and rose again to pay the price for all of your sins past, present, and future and you make Him the Lord of your life, Jesus no longer sees your sin when He looks at you. You are free. I was free to just worship Him. He will sanctify you through your relationship with Him, meaning He will help you to gradually put sin to death in your life when you just focus on Him and your relationship with Him. You don't need to focus on the sin. He will set you free of the sin as a byproduct of your relationship with Him. I highly recommend that you buy the book "Victory in Spiritual Warfare" by Tony Evans. It was very helpful to me when I was going through all of this! Praise Jesus for how much He loves you. Praise Him that He is going to set you free. Have faith that He will do it, and give Him the glory for it. Put Scripture all over your house, by your light switches, on your mirror, on your walls, in your car. Meditate on scripture. Listen to sermons. My church is Abundant Life in Lee's Summit, MO. They had a sermon on healing just today! It's a great church if you want to stream the sermons. But yeah, it's okay that you can't do it. Jesus can do this for you. He wants to heal you. He can fix you. He can set you free from these chains. All you have to do is focus on Him, draw close to Him, praise Him for this work He will do in you. Praise Him for how much He loves you and is for you, even though you don't deserve it (as none of us do). Praise Him that He has already forgiven you of all of your sins, if He is your Lord and Savior. He loves you so massively! He wants to pull you right up out of that pit! He can do it! I love you, too! My heart goes out to you. I was on Omeprazole for many years, and I have not been on it now in many years! Jesus can heal you, I'm telling you! I am free! He is soooo amazing! This was the sermon from my church just today - kzbin.info/www/bejne/iXmUfWNpotOCfrc

[@nelefreese4488]

So beautiful ❤ thank you for sharing

[@veteranredbeard6222]

Great testimony. God bless.

[@namjoonsboobs3463]

I thought I was alone but I saw this and your story was almost the exact same story as mine. It took me to actually seek god for me to finally break through the glass of seeing myself in ways and my eating disorder. I still have healing to go but I have faith that I’ll soon be cured.

[@michelleclark537]

Oh Tony Thank you for sharing! I will pray for you! 💖

[@michelleclark537]

Oh Tony If you are a musical person, you may like the song "Defender" by Rita Springer. There is also a cover by Francesca Battistelli. I love that song because the lyrics go so well with how He brings freedom. 😁

[@namjoonsboobs3463]

Michelle Clark thank you so much god bless, and I’ll take a look at the song!

[@alleykat8602]

Ok sorry listening. But.didnt you post the 26 th anniversary video ? Of your parents ??

[@deinacayten6610]

Such a beautiful testimony! Thank you for sharing❤️

[@pams51673]

❤ ❤❤❤ needed this today. Thank you

[@alleykat8602]

I don’t understand , you put out this beautiful video of your family... that I’ve admired,, then this? Not that it’s bad or wrong, just confusing

[@michelleclark537]

My parents are wonderful. They are still very happily married. My family is super wonderful and I'm very very thankful for my family. I made the anniversary video in 2006. My parents didn't know that I didn't understand the gospel correctly growing up, and they didn't know I had all of these eating issues until I was like 28. I didn't know I didn't understand the gospel correctly until I was like 28 myself. My parents are Christians and do understand the gospel. They thought I understood it growing up, but I didn't. I love my parents a ton.

[@madgem6538]

Hi Michelle, just found this video and want to say thank you so much for sharing what Jesus has done in your life. May you continue to lean on him. Amen

[@michelleclark537]

Jesus is so amazing! My pleasure for sure! ❤️❤️❤️ He blows me away with how good He is and has been to me!!!

[@234pinnni]

Oh! Thank you for sharing your story. I grew up like a religious Jew. I felt the same. Thank you for understanding 😊❤️ great speech

[@PreparingTheWay94]

Wow sister, and have you come to our Messiah, Yeshua?

[@drewayers8551]

Michelle, I really want to thank you for your testimony. I promise you, I was looking through KZbin trying to find people that had recovered from an eating disorder without the common solution of going to a therapist, taking anti-depressants, etc., for I knew that those things only delayed what seemed like the inevitable for me. I feel like I have no strength now, and tomorrow is another inevitable day. I have had issues with food ever since elementary school, with anorexia when I was younger so I could be the "healthiest" person in my grade to bulimia when I was older and in college. I totally understand the bulimic pain: the dehydration, stomach cramps, the cold, headaches, burning, etc. Even now I feel like I do not have any sort of "iron stomach" like I used to have when I was younger, though I am 23. The worst part was the inevitability of it, for I would sometimes cry and then start to binge, doing what I knew was going to hurt. Boy did I feel alone too; I lived in a basement doing this in secret all the time and hiding it. I had even told people about it many years before, but would still do it in secret and lie to them that I was ok, even to my own mother. Oh how I would harden my heart and indulge in so many other sinful acts as well. Straight-A Masters student on the outside, top of my class, but rotting away on the inside I was. What's worse was that I only thought women struggled with this, for I cannot seem to find many testimonies from men nor have met men with the same issues. So much more I can say, but it was finally when I realized something along the lines of what you said that I started to be healed, although I am still healing, for it has been 34 days since I last had a binge and purge. I used to be on weeklong binges and purges, constantly dehydrated and throwing up, so I think 34 days is really good I guess. Anyway, the thing with legalism is that the more I think about not trying to binge, the more tendency my flesh has to try to indulge in it (I think that's in Romans 7). Sometimes I have wondered if giving something to God is a sin because I'm not trying hard enough and I'm not taking responsibility for my actions. But on the contrary, I think giving your struggles to God actually gives more glory to Him than us trying to be gods ourselves and fighting, and our whole purpose is to give glory to God. That concept is still in the works in my brain lol. I do know that the Bible tells us to put on the armor of God, meaning that ultimately it's not an armor that we fashion ourselves, but perhaps our choice to put it on. I have wasted so much of my life in bulimic episodes, and I am sure when I am older I will feel the consequences for my sin, I understand that. I always retreat to Psalm 119:71 when I feel that thought, for this time has definitely brought me closer to God and develop a healthy fear and awe of Him. I feel like I have no strength left in my body and spirit to go on without binging, for I have work tomorrow and that stresses me out, but I know that the Lord my God has the strength, power, and most importantly grace that is boundless. I know he holds me under His wings (Psalm 91), and that I can go one more day. Lastly, and sorry for the long comment, but I want to encourage you as well. I don't know what it is like to be free from bulimia for longer than (I think) 43 days, but I imagine it still is a daily tribulation. But still, be strong Michelle (and anyone else that is reading this comment) in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Run the race with endurance that comes from the steadfastness of Christ. Do not get drunk with wine, but be filled with the Spirit (Ephesians I think). Rejoice in the Lord and in His salvation in Christ Jesus, for that is your strength (Nehemiah)! I thank God for you and your boldness in testimony, and I pray that God may use that to continue to glorify Him and advance His kingdom. It certainly has in at least giving me a spark of a reminder of the strength and hope in God, that I didn't know I had. Tomorrow felt like an inevitable binge, but now I have hope as a result of your video pointing to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, the source of all strength.

[@michelleclark537]

Hi Drew! You can truly be free! I am living proof. God can truly renew your heart and mind, I am telling you! I am not living in that nightmare anymore! And I was for sooo long. Yes, focus on Jesus. Just stop focusing on the food and the weight. You can't free yourself. But Jesus can. It's okay to acknowledge that you can't do it. Your striving is not enough. Jesus knows you can't do it. But He loves you massively, and He is saying that you should just focus on Him, and He will set you free. Just like Peter walked on the water, and then he began to sink when he took his eyes off of Jesus. Not being a slave to the food and the binging is like walking on water, right?! It seems like that would go against the laws of reality for you, right? It sure did to me. I thought there was no way I could ever be free. I thought that I would suffer in that miserable nightmare forever. But THAT IS A LIE. Satan is the Father of Lies. You can be free! Believe me. Jesus can CHANGE THE LAWS OF REALITY for you. He can part the Red Sea for you and walk you right out of your Egypt. He did it for me. I have been free for many years now. One day several years ago, I realized that I had forgotten some candy in my cabinet in the kitchen, and I collapsed sobbing crying so hard praising Jesus SOOOO MUCH, because in that moment, I realized the food was not screaming at me anymore. He had renewed my mind. He had fixed it. He had changed the laws of reality for me. And the way that happened was by me stopping trying to solve the problem myself. I acknowledged to Jesus that I was just a hopeless wreck without Him. It was like I was stuck at the very bottom of a VERY DEEP pit, and I had clawed and clawed and clawed for so many years trying everything the world had to offer to try to get out, and there was absolutely no hope for me. And then Jesus came to the top of the pit, and He said to me that He knew I could never get out. He knew I couldn't stand myself. But He loved me so massively anyway, and I could stop focusing on trying to solve the problem. I could stop focusing on trying to change myself, because I could never change myself. I could stop focusing on how I was doing. I could just focus on Him. When you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and believe that He died and rose again to pay the price for all of your sins past, present, and future and you make Him the Lord of your life, Jesus no longer sees your sin when He looks at you. You are free. I was free to just worship Him. He will sanctify you through your relationship with Him, meaning He will help you to gradually put sin to death in your life when you just focus on Him and your relationship with Him. You don't need to focus on the sin. He will set you free of the sin as a byproduct of your relationship with Him. I highly recommend that you buy the book "Victory in Spiritual Warfare" by Tony Evans. It was very helpful to me when I was going through all of this! Praise Jesus for how much He loves you. Praise Him that He is going to set you free. Have faith that He will do it, and give Him the glory for it. Put Scripture all over your house, by your light switches, on your mirror, on your walls, in your car. Meditate on scripture. Listen to sermons. My church is Abundant Life in Lee's Summit, MO. They had a sermon on healing just today! It's a great church if you want to stream the sermons. But yeah, it's okay that you can't do it. Jesus can do this for you. He wants to heal you. He can fix you. He can set you free from these chains. All you have to do is focus on Him, draw close to Him, praise Him for this work He will do in you. Praise Him for how much He loves you and is for you, even though you don't deserve it (as none of us do). Praise Him that He has already forgiven you of all of your sins, if He is your Lord and Savior. He loves you so massively! He wants to pull you right up out of that pit! He can do it! I love you, too! My heart goes out to you. I was on Omeprazole for many years, and I have not been on it now in many years! Jesus can heal you, I'm telling you! I am free! He is soooo amazing! This was the sermon from my church just today - kzbin.info/www/bejne/iXmUfWNpotOCfrc

[@AZHIETANGANG]

Hello Drew this is literally my story m female. its been five years into bulimia i have serious health conditions i feel,pain in my stomach, my oesophagus is damaged. i have burning mouth syndrome n headaches. i just graduated i do not kbow what to do with my life. Getting a job is hard, i was usx bulimia as a copx mech for stress i.never knew i would have all these health.complications. Worse is that i reduced my praents to the very poor state they are in. my mum owes literally everyone.just for me to make it through college i feel so bad for my mum. we are doing just a small food business in Cameroon. i get blamed for everything my mun regrets y she encountered such debts for an education. ita been five months past purging, u can do it dear think about food as a blessing to your body. i suffer acid reflux even when i drink water n painful sore throat, i keep running from place to place bcuz my mums business is very stressful m prayx for.healx i really want to wake up not feeling any pain. My situation is pathetic no child, husband, job but just surrounded by debts i need financial aid

[@domand2950]

Amen sis

[@marycluff6977]

Thanks Michelle 😉

[@eboniebrace419]

💜