Ciara Faces Backlash for Telling Women to ‘Level Up’ to Get a Husband

The Internet dragged Ciara after she shared a sermon by pastor John Gray that advised women to “level up” if they wanted to get married. Many people claim the “Goodies” singer is weaponizing her marriage since she’s now found her lasting love with Russell Wilson. Do you think this backlash is warranted or are keyboard trolls to blame? Plus, Idris Elba proposes a Black woman should star as the next James Bond. We weigh in with our picks. Plus, guess which one of us has never even seen a 007 film?
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#ciara #idriselba #jamesbond

[@memshinlamed9079]

She means don't settle to be a BM and she's right

[@ak24553]

I remember people were upset that Loni spoke up about our black men in prison and the male shortage is real. I believe her and it’s true.

[@Tan87ful]

Agreed

[@wintersantiago2274]

Women are desperate. They throw themselves at your husband while he’s with you. It’s like, “Are you begging to be a side piece?”

[@sammierose1150]

It is 110% true 💯👌

[@ladennayoung2939]

This maybe the case in some areas, but that's why it's imprest to seek the Lord for all things, and He will direct your path in every area of your life in Jesus name. Also we need to learn how to fast, pray, and speak the word of the Lord over these men. And over our son's, so those type of generational curses be broken. We need to pray over our daughters as well in Jesus name. We must learn who and what we are fighting against, and we must learn how to fight. We waste a lot of time and energy fight against the wrong things, and not using the correct weapons to fight with.

[@ak24553]

@@ladennayoung2939 I’m not reading all of that but it’s important for people to speak on it so those men can begin to pray over their own lives. Black women can’t do everything for everyone

[@leketiathomas7982]

Whats wrong with leveling up. If you want a quality man, you have to be a quality woman. You attract what you are. I see no lies in what she's saying.

[@yolandamarka1719]

Exactly

[@jannalewis858]

Exactly

[@ladennayoung2939]

I agree with Ciara. We have to stop settling. This include men too. They settle with a woman because she look good on his arm, but be detrimental to his mind, body, soul, and spirit. I pray that we all develop a relationship with Christ, and seek Him first above and before everything in the mighty name of Jesus. God love and care for you all and so do I. 💛🌻💜💛🌻💜

[@haileytaylor8554]

Amen 🙏

[@mlmbeliever]

I agree do not settle. You will be unhappy. Don't get married cause u think that makes u more attractive. Some guys just don't value being married. They may value being a rolling stone. Some men may value being an untied bachelor. This makes the eligible pool of men smaller. Don't settle.

[@geraldwarren6438]

Very well said!

[@anthonytaylor7928]

Ok to your point if Russell Wilson didn't have money do u think she have anything to do with him?

[@shenquejames7598]

The internet is always offended. She may be trying to give someone the tools that helped her. This is what people said they wanted were her steps.

[@ladennayoung2939]

Exactly

[@ladennayoung2939]

That's why we definitely can't get caught up in trying to please people. We will drive ourselves crazy, and be very broken and damaged because of it.

[@teejaybee9]

No woman is a wife when a man finds them. They're only a wife when you marry them. This is how a lot of women get capped off as the long time girlfriend, never moving forward in the relationship. Men will say that to make you feel like a wife without the benefits of actually being a wife.

[@britbritnicole9211]

Its in the Bible, when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing. That’s what the video Ciara posted is based off of

[@vmwilliams9198]

A wife, is a mindset. Not just a ring. When a man wants to waste a woman's time, sleeps with her, lives with her and gets wifely benefits from her.... he is using her favor, usurping her time & in the way of someone who really wants her.

[@teejaybee9]

@@britbritnicole9211 after he finds her, he has to commit to her as a life partner and she has to do the same and there's supposed to be a witness or two. Today we use an officiant after the father gives away the bride. Back then, the woman's father just gave her away.

[@ladennayoung2939]

NOT TRUE DEAR. NOT TRUE AT ALL. WE ARE TO CONDUCT OURSELVES AS WIVES WELL BEFORE THAT HAPPEN.

[@teejaybee9]

@@ladennayoung2939 Conducting yourself as a wife doesn't make you a wife. It allows a man to see that you are ready to be a wife.

[@ellandecampbell6279]

The people who get offended by things like this are some of the same people who applaud (or have no reaction at all) whenever someone says that men need to "level up" & "be better"

[@truthteller839]

Nobody would care if someone said “level up” to men you delusional pickme. Level up itself means date BETTER which is a good thing.

[@ellandecampbell6279]

@@truthteller839 It's a good thing, yet it's offensive (according to the people who got their undies in a bunch over Ciara's post) when it's said to women. That's the point.

[@LissetteLissie]

Why is the woman always "Chosen"? We choose our mates too.

[@sherrid2082]

So we supposed to level down? 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@joyce9857]

😅🤣😂 right some people just have something to say...Level up ladies🥰

[@ranitagadling4312]

Absolutely not ...just stay single & happy.

[@maddyabby300]

I agree with Adrienne… James Bond has been a man for decades, why change it? There’s really no need. Just make an awesome female character similar to James Bond and call it a day.

[@benjaminreyes3624]

I agree lol.. and they have. It's called Charles Angels

[@Tan87ful]

@@benjaminreyes3624 They should make another new female spy character. There needs to be a variety of characters/movies to choose from

[@benjaminreyes3624]

@@Tan87ful I agree. As long as it's an original... I don't see why not

[@Tan87ful]

@@benjaminreyes3624 yep. They had Anna, Red Sparrow, and Atomic Blonde which I like. I wish they did better with ticket sales at the box office.

[@leisajacobsg8981]

Girl I 💯percent agree with you!! Damn !!

[@britbritnicole9211]

I absolutely agree the internet is always offended. Women are always asking her about her prayer and what changes did she make? So, for anyone to be upset, they’re just jealous. For Loni to bring up incarceration is so irrelevant or to say, because she’s famous. Fame doesn’t make life easier. And she’s with a man now who gives her the love she deserves and there’s nothing wrong with that.

[@joyce9857]

So true fame has absolutely nothing to do with it...look at Cardi B and Offset..Lord knows they've had challenges

[@constantnipples2428]

@@joyce9857 looool

[@constantnipples2428]

True but alot of horrible men out there it's better staying by yourself. Growing as a person and learning from your mistakes with God

[@memshinlamed9079]

@@joyce9857 their relationship is a joke. nobody's business what you do in your marriage.

[@ivanasantiago2048]

Her bd a ex dealer lol Ciara knows what it like to date the players n drug dealers

[@pmtak2013]

Only in Gods timing! Will he present me a good husband.

[@jessicahubbard7218]

God will present anything you want too and yes only in God's timing yes yes amen amen.

[@Katlady001]

Please make sure you do your part by abstaining from illegal relationships don’t give none of these unworthy men your time be patient and he will come.

[@mrsbdubc2174]

Preach because he did it for me 16yrs ago!!

[@leelee185]

Finding a guy worth marriage is very difficult that’s why me and my cat live alone and mind our own business.

[@redshoefive3234]

Cute

[@ranitagadling4312]

That's the best way to live because there's no arguing or unnecessary drama.

[@leelee185]

@@ranitagadling4312 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

[@ladennayoung2939]

Change your perspective, heal first, and let Him find you. If it's God's will for your life. Becoming cynical and bitter is NOT beneficial to you at all. You have to figure out things you can do better when it comes to interacting with men. And knowing when and how to cut someone off if needed.

[@leelee185]

@@ladennayoung2939 thanks sis definitely we’ll said.

[@tiffanyjohnson135]

The lack of self awareness is mind blowing. Why are black women dealing with men in jail?

[@gabrielleyoung3363]

right?! smh.

[@sierrannomad]

The internet is always offended. I'm offended by my posting this.

[@mariejane1567]

Loni just stop ✋ with the excuses for black men.......

[@senayon85]

Exactly....

[@nikkinonames5265]

She's a mammy!!!!

[@anngirl2376]

I was looking for this comment! She missed the men who keep having multiple baby mamas with no accountability.

[@sunnygibbs925]

Yess!!! Enough ppl don’t teach our young men how to prepare to become good godly husbands.

[@nikkinonames5265]

They don't! Far to many men didn't have fathers to raise them/ mothers kept them away, whatever the situation that occurred.

[@nikkinonames5265]

Most of these men feel just because they have a beard and a penis that's all they need. Majority of them are in terrible health, lack self love and respect and have extreme mommy & daddy issues! I can go on!

[@BetterDeath]

Men who don’t level up are considered “Losers” and a lot of them have to because most guys are not blessed with being handsome. Women want marriage/ relationships without wanting to improve and believe there looks alone carry them.

[@ranitagadling4312]

In my honest opinion if a man who doesn't " level up " is considered a loser then by all means a woman who chooses not to do so either should be considered the exact same thing.

[@IHYC678]

Although women who want to be married should do some work on themselves let’s not ignore the reality that mostly there are not enough eligible bachelors. I can see how this messaging can be frustrating for women are doing ‘everything right’ but have not many options.

[@Tan87ful]

Exactly 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💯💯

[@cathyinda6914]

Preach!

[@sacoope1]

Loni really likes Idris. Never seen the hype about him as he struck me as an alcoholic. Something about Idris is not right.

[@sammysweet4154]

When Loni called Fast & Furious the dude version of Charlie's Angel's, I fell out😭😭😭

[@tiffanyjohnson135]

Let’s be real women are not checking for men like Russell Wilson unless he has money. I run into black men like him all the time and women call them lame. There is no shortage of decent black men to marry.

[@fredrika27]

There are many men who want the milk, but not the cow! We see this in dating: some men hate to buy a woman a dinner. Likewise, women are doing the same thing! We need to talk about responsibility on BOTH ENDS!

[@chelseatonkin9549]

what Adrienne said👏🏼👏🏼

[@jenniesmythe8188]

How did we get to incarcerated black men …..

[@mbalinhlapo9952]

Tamara has the aura of the lady that feels chosen

[@Marsha_Ann]

Tamara was 💯 right on the money with that analysis. She said everything I was thinking! I miss Tamara on the show.

[@higher_pwr8178]

Ciara came up🤣🤣🤣Bow Wow, 50 cent, Future, Usher and Herpes🤪😉🤪

[@justchilling2054]

Wait a damn minute... She dated usher too...... Ohhh she definitely LEVELED THE F #@K UP🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@britbritnicole9211]

Why the judgment?

[@lunabella1003]

🤣☠️⚰️

[@angelnyambio5704]

@@justchilling2054 what’s wrong with Usher and Bow Wow? Hold up, she never dated Usher

[@Youth22873]

Stop spreading this dumb ass lie.

[@TiffanyRayneOfficial]

Classic Girl Chat😂 my how things change and progress tho. Anyway, forget leveling up, why does everyone want Ciara's prayer? For one, what God sent her was for her, not for the entire world. It wasn't going to work for us😂. Find your own prayer about what you need in your life and be good with that. I'm just saying. And no relationship/marriage is perfect. People got to get rid of the fairytale ideal of marriage and the traditions of it, because everyone's relationships are built on different dynamics and circumstances. Find out what works for you and what doesn't and go with that.

[@Msladyrae92]

Stop settling and stop sleeping with these men. There will be more weddings and less out of wedlock baby showers.

[@ericaharris5652]

Every message/story/whatever is not for EVERYONE. Some wouldn't get offended if they understood that certain messages do not apply to them. We just need to use wisdom.

[@benjaminreyes3624]

Just be a reasonable person inorder to attract someone reasonable

[@mariejane1567]

Didnt John Gray have several affairs???

[@alexandrahendrick4352]

Loni went somewhere completely different! Lol. Hot mess.

[@sharonjohnson1661]

I watched the last Bond and a black woman played Agent 007 which is technically Bond

[@judsCaribbean]

She would be called Jane Bond 007 "License to Kill".

[@msvalgo]

I loved that sermon Thank you Ciara for posting that

[@Marsha_Ann]

Loni went on a tangent lol But pleeease I hate when ppl wanna say there's no good available Black men to marry cuz they all getting locked up. UM they just up and leave women too, disappear as soon as they take your money or knock u up!

[@che4702]

I stand behind Ciara for what she said. It is true. Self love is important and if u believe then darn right u should be able to recognize ur flaws and look to God for his love and realize that's wat u been searching for

[@abs2ray]

I can see why many women are miserable. Women forget that they set the bar. If you set your standards too low every Tom, Dick and Harry can jump the hoop. If you set it too high then you price yourself out of the market. Most of you demand a superman when you are at best average.

[@AlliFromTheValley007]

Loni telling the truth about shortage of good black single men

[@opnspa55]

Why are the dudes getting locked up? Let us also start talking to the men to start messing up when they know they can be easily locked up

[@mrsbdubc2174]

Many are locked up for no reason. What the innocence project.

[@mandymazuru530]

Not even putting a ring on a woman's finger makes her your wife - u can string her along with that ring forever ... Until u say ... "I DO" ... come on now!!! Why r u with her if she is not even wife material- why date her in the first place...

[@Tan87ful]

Exactly 👏🏽👏🏽💯💯

[@ladennayoung2939]

Loni you are inaccurate and the message went right over your head. Sorry not sorry. She was saying (for those that choose to have a relationship with Christ especially), and for those looking to have a healthy, successful, fruitful, and blessed marriage from the Lord. YES. All types of people get married, but that don't mean they have a healthy relationship, or God ordained that marriage. And when both individuals have not sought a healthy, complete, whole, and loving relationship with Christ and self prior to marriage, dating, even developing friendships. It IS, CAN, and WILL be a disaster. I'm not just speaking about people that go to church. I'm talking about people that have a relationship with Christ. There IS a difference. We all know that some people get married for the wrong reasons, and all they do is argue, abuse, misuse, lie to, and cheat on their spouse. There is no love or God in it. And whether or not people want to believe it or accept it. Both individuals need to make the Lord be their everything before coming together. She was probably also suggesting make sure you are capable of doing housework, know how to cook, AND DEFINITELY GET COUNSELING SO YOU CAN BE HEALED FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA OR ANY TRAUMA THAT YOU MAY HAVE ENCOUNTERED IN YOUR LIFE. THAT IS WHAT CIARA WAS SPEAKING OF. AND SHE WAS ADDRESSING THOSE THAT ALWAYS SAY THEY WANT TO MARRY, BUT ARE GOING ABOUT CONNECTING TO THE SPOUSE THAT GOD CREATED THEM THE WRONG WAY. WHETHER PEOPLE BELIEVE IT OR NOT MARRIAGE IS 2 PEOPLE BECOMING ONE, THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING TOGETHER TO DO THE WILL OF THE FATHER THAT CREATED THEM. IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT LOVING ON THAT PERSON, AND IT'S NOT JUST SOME CONTRACT. LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE TRY TO MAKE IT OUT TO BE. SMH. LORD BLESS US TO DO BETTER IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS. WE NEED YOU, BUT WE CHOOSE TO DISMISS YOU FROM EVERYTHING. LORD HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULS.

[@swillztv4052]

Ameeeen Sis! Amen to that!

[@user-jn7so8eh7v]

I thought tamera left the show🤔 this must be an old segment

[@slytherinfan1188]

Yeah it's old

[@mrsbdubc2174]

It is

[@dameonwelch9405]

They do need to level up if you didn’t see the things you are doing isn’t working you need to try something else you different things to attract different people most ppl date the same guy but he looks different

[@countdooku2781]

They like five time world champions 😭

[@Tan87ful]

Exactly

[@starblane1023]

Why people keep posting old videos of the real like this was like what 6 years ago like come on now y'all need to get it together

[@bangervlogs8751]

I'm always so confused if it's new or old especially because I don't keep up with celebrities so the stuff they talk about doesn't always tell me the year

[@AlliFromTheValley007]

1 second ago No loni, pastor gray is talking about women who want a MAN OF GOD. Men of God don’t want porn stars

[@shenquejames7598]

I would love to see a female James Bond.

[@DSLightning21]

12:06 - Says the girl who sang "I don't want to be like Cinderella...". 🙄

[@lajetteholland2905]

Ayyyeee these dudes don't wanna....soooo🙄

[@Katlady001]

Find the right ones that do….

[@asefawsoliana5578]

Come on loni she has point.🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@palmiracalderon853]

Amen Adrienne I agree

[@zandersmiranda9256]

But the message clearly doessn't tell what individual is directly too..

[@accessdenied4095]

THIS NOVEMBERRRRRRR!!! TTTTHHHIISSSSS???? NOVEMBERRRR???!!!!!!

[@saul9050]

Damn. What Viola said

[@LissetteLissie]

The only Female James I know about is Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's daughter..she can play James Bond... eventually.

[@meaganbianca2978]

Dudes just don’t follow Ciara if you don’t agree.

[@hyusuf4280]

Someone is always offended on the internet.

[@ade-oluwaspov206]

You have to get your worth from GOD.

[@redshoefive3234]

Isn't the Asian girl married to the rapper

[@Katlady001]

Yes she is currently married to Jeezy.

[@alexandrahendrick4352]

Tamera is so cute

[@nav_1050]

To answer Lonis question, because that way black families disappear

[@mariejane1567]

Jane Bond maybe?

[@tsamontlemotsie2720]

Tamara is back? Or this an old episode?

[@zeejama7107]

How I miss Tamera

[@angescobedo]

Loni shut them all up when she started speaking 👏

[@feliciaboston6365]

Is tamera Back on the show ??

[@elektrasmagicalstorytime]

This is a old episode

[@user-tm5dw8if1z]

why this talk show is too early in the morning .at 4:00nthey must be at work .really ?

[@memshinlamed9079]

Ppl be hating that they can't find a husband bc they done had BD and kids n maybe no man wants pre made kids. Not all women wife material. Carry yourself as a wife not for the streets.

[@prettyricky2020]

You said it all !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@constantnipples2428]

Lots of men date singles mothers now days they even call it milfs. You are very outdated. Just because a woman has had babies doesn't mean she belongs in the streets whats wrong with you

[@countdooku2781]

@@constantnipples2428 they don't belong to the streets but need to be worried about home

[@gordiannzeh-biko8023]

@@constantnipples2428 no he isn't. Men will date them, they don't tend to marry them, and most of the ones that do don't last. It's harder to marry a single mother and there are a lot of complications that come with it.

[@thebxsavage]

You’re always going to get heat if you place ANY of the blame or onus on women to improve. You’re supposed to say “man bad”. Indicating that it might be the person in the mirror was bound to make women upset. That’s why Kevin Samuels is the most hated man in America 😂

[@andycalimara]

Kevin Samuels is not respected by many because he places ALL of the onus on Black women. He does not hold Black men accountable for their own missteps.

[@thebxsavage]

@@andycalimara you clearly don’t watch Kevin Samuels. He has THOUSANDS of hours of content advising/admonishing men.

[@brittneyrenea210]

💜💜💜💜

[@phoebe109.]

No female James Bond just. And another character for it 🙄🙄 call it 003 or 045 or whatever but stop making male characters female and white characters black etc. Make something just as good for the different categories

[@aprilbaby2460]

hi

[@madridista703usa3]

It’s true women ask so much from men. A lot of women don’t bring nothing to the table

[@RealTakerslady]

What are men bringing to the table?

[@jessicahubbard7218]

Amen

[@YourAverageChick]

Facts, but always want a "man" to also carry their baggage as well giving them what they want🤔 They know what "they " bring to the table, more problems and drama 🙄 Relationships aren't just based off of only what each party brings into the relationship but also shouldn't go in a relationship with demands because neither is property and needs to treat eachother as equals.Thats why this kind of conversation is needed before making a commitment just to avoid future problems.

[@dionned.6176]

@@YourAverageChick preach sis!!!

[@aceee9813]

And the majority of black men don't either. Black women are better off dating outside there race than within it.

[@goodamericanjeansstylist]

🤔

[@benjaminreyes3624]

Men don't want to get married Adrianne Because marriage doesn't benefit men. Court cases etc side with women majority of the time. Men understand this and aren't marrying as to protect themselves.

[@aceee9813]

My how the tables have turned. Back in the day for generations marriage didn't benefit women now the tables have turned. Nobody should be getting married then till its equal for both woman and man

[@benjaminreyes3624]

@@aceee9813 I guess, maybe.. I don't know the solution. 🤷

[@constantnipples2428]

I don't want to marry a man because its harder to run away when he cheats or starts treating me bad. Marriage is a trap. No Marriage I can run freeeee. Ps if you want the benifits of Marriage like us women then do what Adele and Kelly Clarkson husband did.... marry a woman who makes more money than you and then suck all your wife's money out her bank when you get a divorce. Also Marriage or no marriage you still gotta pay child support and I know how you men love running away from your responsibility. #fatherlessgenaration

[@benjaminreyes3624]

@@constantnipples2428 1) I don't date women 2) it's easier for you to press charges against a man for domestic abuse whether or not it's true. The court system will favor you. The wedding day itself is mainly about the bride and not the groom. Divorce favors women. It doesn't effect me but it's something I've noticed. 3) most women don't date men who aren't making as much as they are. A man taking all of woman money is rare. Not impossible but rare.

[@yonce2347]

Are those same men okay with their woman not living with them?