Classic Kermode: Rocknrolla

Mark Kermode assesses Guy Ritchie's attempt at getting his career back on track with Rocknrolla. Edited down from the full 13 minutes.

[@ktwashere5637]

Has anyone else used Mark's rant reviews as a means of cheering themselves up during covid? I especially love how Mark is so angry he starts yelling at Simon. One day Simon is going to kick his arse and we are going to hear it.

[@hugohackenbush1554]

Many's the day I've done just that 👌🏼

[@johnpark8188]

"I can't be wrong twice in a minute" sounds like a line straight out of Oscar Wilde. Superb interaction between Simon and Mark in this one.

[@adrianguinn3331]

Lol thank you for this lolol

[@nba_fan7214]

"it's about the struggle to get your career back on track after you sunk it so deep submarines can't find the wreckage of the last movie you made". Kermodes a savage.

[@chwenhoou]

XD There is not enough aloe vera on Earth to recover from that burn.

[@thejamesbondshow9754]

That's something you can't recover from 🤪

[@Tez-cg8xc]

Thankfully Guy Ritchie seems to be back on form the last few years.

[@ortho_stice3424]

"but I did quite enjoy it" ... "No you didn't" Beautiful

[@deathmachine808]

+alspacka it was

[@TheChugg11]

"I quite liked it". "no you you didn't" "The sound-track was good" "-No it wasn't." "I can't be wrong twice in one minute" "-Yes you can" Ouch!

[@borednow5838]

That was great yeah! Love their banter back and fourth! lol. Great review. I only disagree with him over the Subways.

[@TulseLuper]

No problem. There are lots of great Kermodean rants that many people haven't heard so I'm doing my best to get as many of the best ones up as possible.

[@ktwashere5637]

make sure you get Mama Mia too - for the opposite reason. Everyone was expecting a rant and instead he loved it so much it made him cry.

[@marijumanji]

6:33 The exasperation in Kermode's voice is so genuine. "But... Simon..." he can't believe that mayo doesn't hate this film as much as he does.

[@ktwashere5637]

I think Simon just likes to wind him up. He knows how much the audience love this stuff.

[@nokes22]

The Long Good Friday as done by Chas 'n' Dave. Brilliant!

[@allaboutdmagic]

What I really love above everything else in a Kermodian rant is the moment when he throws in breathlessly-"And the WORST thing about it is..." genius.

[@rafaelnadalismyboo]

'...cor blimey I'm married to Madonna' LMFAO

[@octaviancaesarhibernicus4447]

his Danny Dyer is fuckin brilliant.

[@Topnomad]

Kermode needs to be on mainstream TV more often. He's the man.

[@Topnomad]

I know all about gangsters.... No you don't. 😆

[@GG57]

+Clubber O' leary "nae plus ultra" class

[@stevenmarshall189]

Absolutely love this! 😂😂😂 Vintage Kermode on one!

[@124lanky]

I think Mark took LS and Snatch far too seriously. I thought they were hilarious.

[@theyatter]

It's amazing how much of what he's saying fits Mark's still image

[@TeamBombersportsUK]

Also: "Even the NME wouldn't sink that low!" They sort of did, back when they voted Pete Doherty top on the Coolest People list a few years ago.

[@user-vs5to2vd6i]

The long good Friday performed by chas and dave. Perfect description

[@dvg87]

I cannot stop laughing my ass off.... take a firm line Mark hahahaha

[@ortho_stice3424]

+Denis Vargas "No. It's not right to enjoy it" hahaha. This might be Kermode's finest hour.

[@ChickSage]

Kermode is in love with Kermode

[@lizziebooth5397]

He's only human

[@slimjimpui]

Thanks man. I love his rants but the positive reviews are always worth a listen too

[@subtractivemusic]

LONG LIVE KING KERMODE

[@Sssthpok]

but he's a complete wanker

[@christopherthorne8133]

@@Sssthpok he is now with his stupid woke rhetoric these days

[@jay-nq6ii]

Whoever this dude is, he sure has a strong tongue. Movie was awesome, GG Guy Ritchie.

[@ktwashere5637]

if the "dude" you are referring to is Mark Kermode then you have been missing out.

[@stevethomas74]

"5 minutes in and it was all over". That comment and the Chas & Dave line just about finished me off. Mark Kermode is a national treasure. And that's all there is to it.

[@darrylwynwilliams1760]

Absolutely 😊

[@eveningtsar]

" A good soundtrack is a movie that uses its music intelligently". Amen!

[@ThemowofChow]

I fucking LOVE this movie. fantastic.

[@d-x-v-i]

6:32 - can't believe how camp Kermode was there. "But SIMON!"

[@oliverclamp2671]

😂😂😂

[@Thehypicriticalgamer]

I liked this movie. It's nothing special but it's entertaining.

[@BigDaddyZakk420]

Agreed, maybe not oscar material, good flick nonetheless.

[@FriendlyPoison666]

I went to see this with my Uncle and Cousin back in 2008 when it came out, and while I was happy with it I have to say, in a way, Kermode's right. I was so, SO relieved that it was nothing like the abomination that was Revolver and I think my first impression was overpowered by that. But! Since then I have re watched it several times and my love for it remains, RockNRolla has a quirky charisma to it that has stood its ground. Heres hoping for 'The Real RockNRolla'

[@andrewdeen1]

lol i liked rocknrolla a lot but this was great to listen to

[@560smr4]

Sexy beast was a geezer movie. That was brilliant

[@soakedbearrd]

I enjoyed this movie but then again I loved snatch. The best was Collin the coach and the boys. Had me rolling. I think since you are British you hold it to higher standard, cause human nature means we tend to be harder on our own then others. As an American I enjoyed the movie precisely because it exposed me to more British themes. It got a swag.

[@slimjimpui]

Ta dude, d'you have his review for the orphanage by any chance? Been looking for that one. Cheers

[@SamJamwich1]

Sexy Beast is how its done

[@darrylwynwilliams1760]

Absolutely 😉

[@denisdaly1708]

I really enjoyed the movie, the performances, the incredible cast, and also this review. Ha.

[@B1ggu5]

"Not even submarines could find the wreckage of the last movie you made..." Kemodic brialliance.

[@Ben_Mdws]

I miss this kind of review from Mark.

[@CS-mo7xp]

I can't actually remember when his last proper rant-a-thon was...

[@RodneyAllanPoe]

Funny stuff. I rented REVOLVER a few years ago and thought there was something wrong with me that I didn't get it, and I shouldn't have fallen asleep several times. ROCKNROLLA was also terrible...couldn't tell anyone what the plot was about.

[@niklasbirksted8175]

This is peak Kermode

[@alphabetaxenonzzzcat]

It’s funny how Mark actually says he like Lock Stock now(Aladdin review). I know he likes the Sherlock Holmes films.

[@bonnie3447]

I fucking love these guys.

[@primitivo4604]

I also quite enjoyed it.

[@BelatedCommiseration]

@TulseLuper Excellant. Glad to hear he came to his senses in the end. The good thing about Mark Kermode is that, despite the vehmance with which he does denounce certain things, he is always prepared to revise his opinion if need be, and also take's into account movies he wouldn't necessarily choose himself and judge's them on their own merits. Of course you have to make allowances....he is after all only a critic and as such is given to the whim of the moment and the odd tantrum. (;

[@Onmysheet]

"I can't be wrong twice in a minute" hilarious.

[@TeamBombersportsUK]

'I quite enjoyed it'. 'No you didn't.' 'Oh no sorry, I realise I'm wrong.'

[@mattgilbert7347]

I love Mark's classic rants, before he decided to do reviews based on CONCEPTS

[@mushyw1234]

would love to hear kermode review football factory. anyone know if he did??

[@Retrostar619]

"I did quite enjoy it.." "No you didn't"

[@leumasnonnahs348]

Good Job Mark

[@joshualunn5793]

I'd love to hear that interview with Simon and Guy Richie. If anyone can point me in the right direction that would be awesome.

[@scudder91]

"you have to take a firm line here!"

[@ktwashere5637]

that's my favourite part too. Standards people!!!

[@TulseLuper]

No problem. As long as the wittertainment keeps going strong, I will continue uploading Kermode gold.

[@slimjimpui]

"I did quite enjoy it" "No you didn't!" Thanks for uploading

[@KaiserBecks]

Rocknrolla was a great movie.

[@bluelight1989]

"I can't be wrong twice in one minute" - "No you can!"

[@ktwashere5637]

Mark would argue that Guy Ritchie can be wrong 3 times in one minute.

[@vernonallen3370]

Most disturbing is that on the end credits there’s a threat of a sequel

[@randomisraelite]

i remember asking that too. yeah there are a bunch

[@JohnMartinMoore]

And the winner for speedy slagging off goes too... BTW I loved R&R very funny could watch it 100 times and would still crack me up.

[@joerafferty3248]

All RocknRolla did for me was further my opinion that Lock, Stock was a flash in the pan for Ritchie.

[@TulseLuper]

Oh no doubt. Sometimes he even rants about films he really loves like when he tried to make Mayo see Hard Candy a few years ago.

[@TeamBombersportsUK]

Considering I'm such a huge fan of Lock Stock, Snatch and I quite liked Rock'n'Rolla, I really liked this review! People who slag off Kermode because they disagree with his film taste need to grow up. It's possible to see where someone else is coming from in terms of critisicm, and I can totally see where Kermode is coming from in his critisicm of Ritchie's work - but for the same reason he doesnt like them, I enjoy them immensely. Call me immature if you like :')

[@sgwh2002]

“Cake, cake, I like cake, get the shooters”

[@DjangoPorter]

Snatch is legendary

[@rosserjake]

I think there's more to Lock Stock and Snatch than what Kermode gives credit for.

[@RockBottomRiser21]

10:54 "GO AWAY! You horrible man..."

[@S-T-E-V-E]

If you like Lock Stock and Snatch you'll like this

[@ericzimmerman839]

“But I did quite enjoy it.” “No you didn’t!” “Oh no, sorry - I realize I’m wrong.”

[@Alexandra-Rex]

I like the two first movies, and they have quite something about them. I also like Revolver :P A lot. The story is one thing, but it's also very nice to look at, and listen to. Rocknrolla however, not so sure about that one.. And this review, hilarious :P

[@TulseLuper]

Probably. I remember him liking it so I'm not sure how entertaining the review will be in that sense but if I have it I'll send you a message.

[@Remus0387]

That was Matthew Vaughn, but he did make Kick Ass & X-Men: First Class, I thought those were very well done films.

[@kustomkure]

I totally don't understand why everyone is hating on Revolver. I liked it a lot. I enjoyed RockNRolla as well.

[@Davidchurch93]

Is this is a case of Kermode not liking Guy Ritchie personally? There are lots of bad movies reviewed by Kermode and he slates them but you don't see him this hateful too often.

[@wasteoflifeandinternet9674]

He doesn't really mind the first two of his films and he liked the Sherlock film, so I would go with the films being individually atrocious

[@octaviancaesarhibernicus4447]

Davidchurch93 yeah Guy Ritchie and "Zack Snyder"!

[@ibez07]

@CharlieSpeary he didnt,,the other 2 he referred to were SWEPT AWAY and REVOLVER

[@Movieguy482]

1:57 lol He captures perfectly what a gun and geezers flicks are.

[@sam1234234567]

It's a good movie

[@iansmith9125]

The long good fridave

[@raggedbreath]

One of the funniest aspects of these reviews is that his anger and venom directed at the films makes me want to see them to confirm that they can actually be that bad!

[@Exor840]

i enjoyed it i actually did, there was a lot of humour in it

[@mrpandabites]

I saw Rock n Rolla when it came out and I honestly can't remember a thing about it other than that it was way too long and all over the place plot-wise.

[@richardthered]

+mrpandabites Same as, I watched it at the cinema and couldn't remember much about it, but since have watched it again and I quite enjoyed it.

[@IMOReviews]

.... so it was a Guy Ritchie movie 😅

[@Alec_Collins78]

Kermode liked Sherlock Holmes.

[@jordanwillrog]

Guys gonna like this

[@hersce]

Aah, "Revolver" the pre "Transformers" days...

[@theunusualsuspectstv]

'I can't be wrong twice in a minute..'

[@mrjackelbox4418]

I don't think it's a 10 out of 10 movie, but it is fun to watch and it's not nearly as bad as he says.

[@greenman6141]

I'm glad Mark reminded us of just how terrible the NME was.

[@BigBoss7777777]

@TulseLuper Who said I was looking for validation? I don't know what you're talking about.

[@jayrockwell33]

kermode is usually on the nose but misses the mark here by a long shot, for what the films worth.

[@apcreed]

Geezers Geezers Geezers!

[@vincentbull]

Can someone here point me in the direction of some great films mr Kermode has made?

[@Reitaliation]

His rant are better then half of Guy Ritchie's movies

[@BigFrogg]

Kermode definitely got bullied by a “Geezer” when he was growing up

[@andrewcairns8266]

7:55 I think you'll find you can be wrong three times, Simon.

[@TulseLuper]

He likes loads of films. If you bothered to watch/listen to all his available reviews, you'd be aware of that fact. As for Watchmen, his reasons made perfect sense. All style and no substance, which is something loads of people have said.

[@sulijoo]

To all those who say Kermode just has prejudices towards films, it's worth pointing out that Guy Richie's latest film 'Sherlock Holmes' has been out a few weeks, and Kermode LOVED it. Mark just knows his films; he knows the difference between a crap film, and a good film. It's a shame the rest of us don't.

[@jdlmbgh]

@TulseLuper Agreeeedddd SIR! :)

[@Cycstorm]

"But Simon,..."

[@blokey8]

Look at his reviews of Pan's Labyrinth and Wallace and Gromit.

[@ibez07]

mark is fantastic,,,i often disagree with him VERY OFTEN,,,but i still love him

[@DjangoPorter]

But!!! The new King Arthur . Was amazing

[@GDWilliamsonFilms]

The NME comment is golden.

[@dookula]

Kermode admits towards the end of the interview that he didn't get that Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels was a comedy the first time he saw it. That's just crazy.

[@RedFlagSaid]

paradoxically, he gave a positive one for that epic fuck up "Prometheus" it just proves that "all knowledge is interpretation", as a wise man once put it.

[@TheSpiritOfTheTimes]

Stfu dork.