Cleaning doesn’t come easy for everyone because dopamine=motivation ✍️

[@minoyd]

I spent 2 hours sorting my depression laundry pile today. I didn't get a rush of fulfillment, but I was glad the pile was gone and not in my way anymore and a bit relieved I wouldn't have to keep looking at it and shame spiraling.

[@ashwhikidd]

Great job! Stopping the shame-spiral is worth it, even if you don't get the gratification from the task. I'm going to tackle my own laundry pile tomorrow.

[@panjimartiandaru3081]

Great job! Hope you get better soon

[@karenneill9109]

Way to go! Doing something you’ve been putting off is a huge deal!

[@blc28x]

I did the same thing and managed to wash and dry everything, now there are three baskets of clean clothes sitting in the middle of my bedroom!! So glad for youuuu:))))🎉

[@PetThePeeves]

And THAT is the key. No shame spirals allowed. It’s all about setting realistic expectations. If you know what your limitations are you can set up REASONABLE expectations tailored to YOU. And then of course some days you won’t meet those expectations, but nobody is ever going to finish their to do list 😂. It’s ok. My mom, in her 60s, is as clearly ADHD as I am, but in her day it obviously wasn’t a thing and I’m 38…even right now women are less likely to be properly diagnosed. When I was 20 I finally insisted on being evaluated for it and got a “oh boy howdy are you ADHD”. Otherwise I doubt it would have been addressed. My mom has a lifetime of self built coping skills because that was the only option. She tried medication but decided that she’s just more comfortable doing what she’s always done. It’s helped me because although she can be tough (well I managed!) she’s a great way for me to figure out my own strategies. And honestly getting one pile done and SAVORING that relief can be an achievement! Enjoy that feeling, read these comments of support, and know that you did something good for yourself today.

[@the1ladytammy]

Thank you. Been called lazy my whole life. Got a late in life ADHD diagnosis.

[@tqoftu1]

Me too. For me it was "I was called lazy my whole life and I hated it. I don't want to call you lazy too but..."

[@KatherineRiel]

Makes more sense though doesn't it? I have ADD. It makes sense.

[@poshboy4749]

@@the1ladytammy I have an AdHD diagnosis, hasn't magically stopped me being lazy though. I suppose I can wave in people's faces if they complain though.

[@joyful_tanya]

Same.

[@Chefsarah76]

How old are you I feel Gen x girls were so left out 😢

[@rebecareis87]

Some ppl dont understand that nobody would live like this on purpose. This shows a low point where most times the person just wants to disappear. It is not about not wantint to do the dishes. Been there, and needed therapy and medical help to get out of it. Finally I was able to pay someone to help me clean my home, and I remember crying with relief when I saw a clean space again. A clean bed, with newly washed sheets on, a clean fridge, I cried and thanked the person who helped me get out of that mess. ❤ and my house didnt get even close to the ones showed in this channel. Im so sorry to see it, and so grateful for ppl like this angel girl helping out

[@ASmith-jn7kf]

But they do live like this on purpose....they intentionally do not clean. Do you know what purpose means??

[@marielle7133]

​@ASmith-jn7kfnobody wakes up in a clean house one day and thinks now i will stop cleaning and throwing trash away because I really want to live in a big mess. So no they dont do this on purpose. For a long time other valid things have priority. Then they comes the period of not today but i will start tomorrow or this week. People hit a new lowpoint, like feeding themselves is the only task they can do. The house turns even worse in survivalmode. And even if they do get better a bit mentally the task of cleaning just got to big. Along with the shame so they are stuck. And I am truly happy you dont get this because it probably means you are a strong person who knows herself and is very good at handling lifes big problems, or even better havent had to encounter huge problems. Hopefully you now understand a bit better.

[@bluekidkid2]

Yeah

[@ShellyCline]

​@ASmith-jn7kf so I'm guessing you didn't actually LISTEN to what was said in this video? Good grief. Way to miss the WHOLE ENTIRE POINT.

[@Tabbix]

@ASmith-jn7kf Think of it like this: Imagine if EVERYTHING, literally everything, you did made you cry. No matter what. You would be exhausted from crying all day long. You would be exhausted all day every day. When you are that tired you have to prioritize what you will spend your remaining energy on because if you push yourself to do EVERYTHING you will either have a mental breakdown or kill yourself from how miserable you are. So you just focus on feeding yourself, or washing yourself. That is all you can do without breaking. Obviously folk who are neurodivergent/mentally ill are not crying all day but it sounds like you don't have much experience imagining things you've never felt, but everyone has cried at least once so that's the closest thing I can think of that you've definitely experienced to give you a small idea what it's like. Your own brain/emotions drain you all day every day down to the bone. When people get the right medicine and the right therapy they can get to the point where they won't feel that way, but without help they live overwhelmed by everything. People who dismiss how they feel instead of encouraging them to get help just make things worse. These people are already depressed, why would making them feel bad make them suddenly start doing work? It just makes them feel MORE hopeless. And there are people who I love and care about whose own brains fight them every step of their life and I would hate myself if I tried to hurt them to the point where they wanted to kill themselves because they think they're broken. Spread peace. Not anger.

[@dee_dee_place]

As a retired RN, BSN who is also bipolar, thank you for explaining the reason behind the actions or rather the inactions of those of us with mental health issues. There is actually an anatomical & neurochemical reason for the way we 'try' to function. My ex-boss wanted me to use behavioral therapy to counteract my manic episodes. I tried to explain to her what you just did but to no avail. She wanted me to ask my Psychiatrist if it would help. You should have seen her face when I told her he just laughed at me & stated a rousing, "NO".

[@testchannel2098]

Thank you so much for your empathy and for helping others.

[@sdanekas]

Bless you for doing this and sharing this and educating people not to judge or criticize you for sick people

[@SuzanneMotyka-ko6uo]

I'm having some depression and didn't quite understand why just dusting off a table could send me into tears. Thank you for explaining nobody's ever told me this stuff before. May God bless you for what you're doing

[@tyedie4490]

Do yourself a favor and go for a walk or something. Depression is a self feeding cycle, but you can defeat it. Reach out where you can, go outside, feed the birds, love your pets. It’s going to be ok ❤

[@mrsinfjudith]

Some people just can't, or won't even try to, put themselves in another person's shoes.

[@zidapplip]

It's a cheap and easy way to feel superior to others.

[@mrsinfjudith]

@zidapplip Yeah

[@Kalislan]

Some people are too full of themselves to be compassionate and open minded.

[@mrsinfjudith]

@@Kalislan Yeah, so sad

[@teresaalmond6624]

Thank you so much for posting these videos and educating people. I learn something new every time I see one of your videos. Your empathy, coupled with your knowledge of mental health is remarkable. Thank you for all you do!

[@abigailburks1073]

What a great explanation! I’m understanding a little more how things get so out of hand. Depression sucks. I’m not a hoarder, but I’ve always thought it would be really easy to become one. There’s a fine line there.

[@Mirovanje12]

You are an angel, not just for helping people who need it, but for educating people about why it's so unfair/unkind to judge others. You're the best!!!!

[@apostateturtle1960]

When I was a kid, if I worked hard and achieved a task, the response I got was always, "Well it shouldn't have taken you so long but I'm glad it's finally done now." So now, no matter how hard I work or push myself, I never get a sense of accomplishment. I can go to work all day, come home and cook and clean and run errands and whatever, but there is just not the voice saying, "I have done a full day's work." Because it wasn't perfect, something didn't get done, I offended someone, etc. This leads to a lot of periods of burnout because no matter what I do, there's never a reward. However I feel extreme guilt/shame/fear if I sleep in or play video games or take some kind of break, so I push myself to avoid that. I really wish it were possible for me to feel an actual reward for working hard.

[@ForeverALonelyDragon]

Honestly some people have absolutely no compassion thank you for doing this ❤

[@jubileecox7639]

Cleaning was used as a punishment for me growing up and it’s definitely given me a negative outlook on it I still do it but I absolutely push it off if I can and then get mad at myself for it but I try to work on small areas so it’s not overwhelming to clean the whole house at once

[@michellemathis8785]

When you’re young you may believe that the person is just lazy but when you’re older and wiser you understand that no one would want to live like this so there must be something mental going on. God bless you 🙏🏽

[@poshboy4749]

Who wants to be lazy?

[@ShellyCline]

I think that's mostly true, but you'd also be surprised at the handful of old, "wise" people out there who are as judgemental and unempathetic as any young person ever was. It's extra sad when you realize someone has reached a ripe old age and hasn't learned compassion.

[@michellevasquez8853]

Thank you for explaining to rude people who apparently have low or no empathy

[@KK-eh2gm]

Great explanation. It's been hard enough to move across country to help take care of an older relative, then realize PTSD & depression are much worse without my friends & the person I moved for died. Having idiots say "just get out there & do things" confirms I moved to the wrong area.

[@ginaguacamole9676]

I love you for making this video and saying what you said. I’m almost 46 and just realizing that I have ADHD and Cleaning has always been such a difficult task and I’ve just started to realize it’s not a moral failing. Thank you for giving so much of yourself and helping people!

[@davidcockroft2267]

I was diagnosed with EUPD about 6 years ago. No one explained any of it to me, so thank you for this, it's nice to understand why I don't prioritize cleaning even though I am constantly telling myself it should. ❤❤

[@jamiblack6024]

and even on meds that’s shit doesn’t fucking go away. i still can’t find the joy in keeping my space clean. i still don’t care and still would rather do anything else. i’ve been successfully medicated for a year now and that just won’t budge. it’s fucking hell.

[@Hwgt888]

Imagine thinking meth will suddenly inspire you to do things that you need to do. Real awkward you thought meds would just change your life. You actually have to put effort in over and over, that’s the point of EFFORT.

[@happybirdtime]

I wish more people, including those affected, realized this. I had a roommate who had difficulty keeping up with cleaning, and I understood that and tried to help. But instead of admitting that they needed help they just pretended they were fine and expected me to pick up after them and pay for cleaning, because they were "fine" with the mess piling up. The worst part was that I have as much difficulty keeping up as they do.

[@ShyLunaV]

I wish my mental health team understood this better. They're like here's some drugs and try some CBT to change how you think 😢 (I struggle horribly with that). I have trouble explaining how things are for me/work in my brain but your videos are like pure clarity. I do what I can but it's so overwhelming and I struggle so much. I love what you do and thank you for helping those you can ❤

[@angiesims6708]

Thank you so much for educating people about this issue. I have struggled with this most of my life. I'll always keep trying though, especially when I see people like you doing so much for so many.

[@nattvandraren8676]

The people that are struggling with there mental health are trying ther best to be better but sometimes they need help to start. I love watching you'er video it helps me to remind myself of what I do for work. I work for a company that is to clean for the elderly and we do also wash clothes for our local nursing home.

[@larissamcleod8354]

This perspective means a lot to me right now. Being in a time of life where i’m finally settling down for awhile and have to deal with the chaos of moving and transitioning. Not many people understand the challenges of being neurodivergent. Even fewer show the level of care and compassion you do. So thank you and wish u the best of life. ❤

[@elimcdude8499]

forever grateful for your content. you showing empathy and educating people on these very stigmatized conditions is amazing for the world ❤

[@Michael_Weirdo]

Not to mention chronic illness. I have all the above and have hoarder family members on my dad's side. Sometimes, I do show those hoarder signs and tendencies, and it can be hard to fix or break out of. Thankfully, I haven't been severe with it, but cleaning is definitely a physical, mental, and/or emotional struggle with me. Yes, cleaning makes me happy and proud of keeping my space nice, but it also hurts and is hard to acquire motivation to do in the first place and can end up being severely overwhelming.

[@scal2025]

Great response. Also, watching you scrape off that gunk was sooo satisfying.

[@bluegoth]

Preach!!! It's so hard to clean when there isn't an immediate reward, it takes hours for the reward.

[@HeyitsTaylorXOXO]

Thank you for sharing this message and helping those you can 🥰 Hope you have a Happy New Year 💜💕

[@ryliebroom8368]

Thank you Brogan for bringing awareness to this 💙 I suffer from TRD and I would give anything to feel “normal”

[@patriciamiller3850]

You speak the truth!!! Thank you.

[@NumerousBats]

Also conditions like ADHD can lower dopamine production

[@swirlychaos]

Yeah, my brain barely produces any. (I was diagnosed with ADHD at 5, then rediagnosed at 15 and again at 16)

[@Cecilpedia]

Yeah, the low dopamine production for me has lost me a LOT of opportunities.

[@The-one-and-only-Fruitcake]

Yes. I have very severe ADHD, i’ve been trying so hard to clean my room (my mom said i could get another gecko if i do) but every time i look at my room i just give up before i even start. I hate it.

[@CHPetMom]

I had to learn to reframe cleaning into something more, something that is tied to my spirituality, rather than a regular task that has to be done, in order to get myself to do it. That and making sure that I have something to think about that is positive, because I used to fill quiet moments with thoughts that would lead to bad anxiety, which is especially hard during repetitive activities, that do not require much thinking. My lack of ability to clean stems from complex PTSD, some of it related to cleaning - I will spare you the gruesome details. It is hard to stick with a cleaning schedule, or routine. Between reframing, and having checklists that reward me with points, I am beginning to get better at it. Thank you for this video. And gentle hugs to anyone who needs it.

[@PetThePeeves]

EXCELLENT explanation! There’s an amount of coping skills and therapy that can help and there’s something to be said for “willpower” to fight through. But think about how much extra effort that is! For me those are tasks that I’ll get to and I know I will. On a day when I wake up and for whatever reason chasing the dopamine that day means cleaning for 9 straight hours thinking it’s only been 3. It’s that all or nothing. I’m pretty good at pushing through, especially when taking meds, but that’s partially because I teach and in order to pursue my passion, there’s some amount of override that MUST happen. So many daily tasks that aren’t about me but about the students. It’s a huge motivator, to be sure, but it’s also extremely exhausting. And while my ADHD is “did you remember the Vyvanse today?” (My students literally ask me that 😂) levels, all illnesses have a spectrum. Same with my depression. I’m lucky that years of CBT for anxiety actually helped me handle the shame spirals and that my mom (in her 60s) had to live her entire life just dealing with it. I’ve learned a lot of strategies just from watching her. If you don’t have those tools in your tool belt every single little thing is exhausting. And not everyone is lucky enough to be in the position I’m in! It’s made me a better teacher because I totally do understand when a kid is having an ADHD shut down. So there are some ways in which it can have a silver lining!

[@NaTiffayParker17]

Speaking for someone who is 17 and about to 18 in a couple of hours where I am, and it's true. I don't like cleaning because of mental health, it was so bad, I'm surprised I'm still here today.

[@shouldthisbecleverorfunny]

Happy Birthday 🎉🎂 🎁. I'm almost close to 50 and it's still a struggle. There will be really bad days but there will be good days and even great days. You just need to focus on those, take care ok 😊🤗

[@lovefromlordie]

You get stuck in a cycle and before you know it, you're completely drowning in tasks and mess. 😔

[@gypsy3649]

I have ADHD, OCD, and depression. I've been told I'm lazy all the time, which does not help in the slightest. I also work night shift on a split schedule, which makes me even more tired than I already am. The dirty dishes, dirty floors, and unfolded laundry irritates the heck outta me, but it's so hard to trigger my brain into finding the energy to clean, because if I do clean, that's all my day off entails and that's when I get sad that I don't get to do anything fun on my days off. Some days it's easy to find the motivation to clean, especially when my OCD takes over and everything is wrong and cluttered.

[@Snakelurv2348]

I just have bad depression and no treatments. There are times i have motivation to clean and shi. But somedays i just feel weak. Im a very lonely person with 0 friends, literally. The only friends i have are long distance. I have no in person friends, i hardly ever leave my home which has caused a big depression on me. Sometimes cleaning can be therapy, and sometimes it can feel like climbing a mountain.

[@ObsessiveCelestial]

I’m currently struggling to clean my room. There’s laundry all piled at the foot of my bed and just dishes and some trash. My bed is being used as a storage place. I can’t bring myself to clean it, but I so badly want to and I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I’m unable to do so. But watching you clean all of these homes brings me a little closer to being able to! So far I’ve been able to get at least a quarter of the laundry off my floor.

[@frankcastle6159]

Remembering when I was sleeping on a dirty mattress in my living room, surrounded by trash. I remember thinking I don't want to d*e like this and wishing I was able to clean up and take back some control. Eventually, I was able to let one person in who didn't judge me, just helped. THANK YOU for being that kind of person. You're literally a life saver.

[@karenfromva]

I'm 59, I have medication resistant depression. Right now my mom, my 2 boys haven't talked to me in a year. They think I'm lazy, I've never been lazy, ever. My brain has shut down

[@SuperEsmee22]

Is there any way for a neuro divergent to maintain a relatively clean household? Without it regularly getting to this point without help? Asking in need not to make some point

[@marisabond]

For my family we went super minimalist (can’t let dishes pile up if we don’t have that many) and putting chore chart/timer/checklists EVERYWHERE. The tiny hit of dopamine when you check something off helps and once you get systems in place that work for your brain memory wise things are more manageable. Still hard as hell though

[@phoebesulistio6830]

In my case, it was a long journey, but we eventually built up enough of a routine that it keeps the spiraling from being *too* spirally. That and stress cleaning

[@anabel1208]

Yes I agree minimalism is the way to start. The less you have the easier it is to keep organized and not spiral out of control. I also realized that I can wash dishes if I have gloves on. For me it’s a sensory thing, I hate getting my hands wet. But with gloves I actually enjoy washing dishes. So it’s about experimenting and learning about what feels doable to you and what doesn’t. It’s a lot of trial and error.

[@Cecilpedia]

I've found that in my experience, dividing "cleaning" activities into smaller activities helps a lot. Instead of thinking "I need to clean my room," instead try thinking "I need to put my dirty clothes in the hamper." Dividing up the activity into smaller activities helps me to build momentum and be able to finish more tasks in one span of time.

[@isabellamorris7902]

There are some channels specifically about this -- the only one I can think of off top is Midwest Magic, whose owner is autistic and has some good videos on learning the basics and how to make a place look nicer if you're struggling financially/mentally. There are lots of resources for people with ADHD too including body doubling cleaning videos. Also, if you have a good relationship with them, it might be worth asking your parents. My dad's got ADHD and my mum has had to learn a lot of housekeeping skills herself because she's not naturally organised either. Most parents have experience with cleaning up after lots of people including kids, so might at least be able to make cleaning a little more efficient

[@simplymeowlogical]

Yes! Adhd is rough (awaiting diagnosis, and meds) I often need days or weeks to do a task, or that I must do it to be able to do something else. It's a struggle

[@novaeclipse139]

People suffering from mental health issues has sadly always been deemed as "Laziness" People who are blessed enough to never go through some type of internal struggle against their own brain will always look down on those who do in my experience.

[@zozupskystar8639]

I just randomly found this on my feed and suddenly my lack of motivation to do things suddenly makes sense...

[@swirlychaos]

The other problem with us who have ADHD (at least for me) is that after doing a difficult task, feelings of achievement or the relief from a task being done isn't connected to the work put into the task. For a lot of people, cleaning can be a difficult task, but afterwards the relief that it's done is worth the effort. For me, it feels like a difficult task, then the feelings of relief that my home is clean are unconnected to the difficulty of the task, making the task feel completely useless and like unnecessary turmoil. The dopamine other people may get from completing a difficult task isn't there for me. My brain simply doesn't produce enough dopamine for me to be able to find things rewarding.

[@Helenahandbasket1971]

After I do a thorough cleaning I'll sit and watch TV, everyone will tell me how great it looks, and I think "Eh, it's whatever". I never realized I did that until my son pointed it out.

[@Bananas904]

​@@Helenahandbasket1971 Same. My husband would ask if I felt proud of myself. My response: literally no.

[@solitarelee6200]

​@@Bananas904Oh my god yeah you nailed it... All I ever feel is disappointment and irritation at myself for not doing it sooner. There's no sense of accomplishment

[@Snail-Boy]

A little hack ive found that works (as a person with the 'tism) is i put on some loud/high energy music i like on my headphones and just force myself to start cleaning (often dancing too), it works about 85% of the time atleast for a little bit, i hope this helps someone! Remember dont beat yourself up for not being able to clean somtimes

[@Snail-Boy]

The order i do it is kinda specific too so i dont get distracted too. 1. Close youtube/whatever is getting you dopamine stuck 2. Stand up & walk to general area. 3. Open music app and immediately go to loud playlist & start it 4. Start somewhere ANYWHERE Do i often get stuck on a small part like detangling yarn or organizing cans? Yes but i ussally get a little but done which is better then nothing :3

[@sophiaitalia6319]

Thank You so much for Understanding

[@Cecilpedia]

A lot of people simply fail to or outright refuse to understand that ADHD isn't just "I need to fidget a lot." It can be debilitating.

[@moondancer3606]

I feel like an oddball as someone with a panic disorder, physical disabilities and autism as one of my special interests is cleaning 😂 it just means that all things considered, I end up with either a spotless, catalogue home, or a complete trash heap. No inbetween.

[@solitarelee6200]

There's another cleaning channel, Midwest Magic, and the guy who runs it is just like that! Maybe you'd enjoy it if you're not already?

[@nathanfortier7478]

I'm autistic with suspected adhd. THIS plus the fact that I litterally get no dopamine and no satisfaction from having done the chore. Like, okay, it's nice going to cook something and actually having space to cook but, like, I get more dopamine from getting a high grade in college then I get from seeing my kitchen actually clean or from knowing that I cleaned it. Imagine washing your hands after going to the toilet, that is more dopamine and less overstimulation then cleaning the dishes, the counter or even just picking things up around my place. Something like cleaning the dishes for 10-15 minutes takes as much or more energy as running a full marathon just because of the overstimulation and textures. Like, I usually need a good 3-4 hour nap if not at least 12 hours to recover enough to be able to feed myself let alone go to work/school. That's why it's so hard for me, I'll usually cook something that requires me to clean at most 2 utensils OR one pot/pan and one utensil because that will allow me to still go to work the next day if I don't cook again for a couple of days. Somehow, loading the dishwasher still takes at least half, if not more, of the energy that 15 minutes of washing by hand takes. Meaning, I have to be carefull cause otherwise I'll burn myself on a small amount of dishes and will need to decided between risking my life at work or calling in sick for lack of energy (my job is dangerous and the smallest of mistakes can end with life threatning injuries or death but that's what gives me the dopamine and what keeps the hyperactivity under control without meds). Keep in mind that this is my experience and everyone has it different. I'm also considered "high functionning" autistic so, a lot of people have it way worse then me, this is the "tame"/ "less disableling" version as I can still live on my own with weekly support and a lot of carefull planning made into routines that take a long time to change when needed (as an example, I've been working on a small change to one of my routines for close to 2 years at this point, it's worked for a total of 4 weeks max in that time)

[@bluekidkid2]

Why can’t my parents understand this 😭😭😭😭 My family always calls me lazy when literally I have a depression diagnosis and it does feel like every task I do is almost impossible to complete and it’s physically tiring

[@thebohomom]

Your home is a direct reflection of your mental health ❤

[@MrFriend97]

as a neurodivergent chronically ill person i can tell you that cleaning is the one thing a truly cannot do myself most of the time, i have been wanting to do the dishes for two days now but due to overexcerting myself on christmas i havent even been able to cook food for myself. i am blessed that for the big cleaning tasks in the house like the bathroom/toilet, vacuming and mopping i have home support provide by the goverment once a week due to my disabilities but they arent allowed to do things like laundry and dishes. its extremely exhausting having to fight your mind and body to do tasks that need to be done, due to these struggles some parts of your house can start to become like this overtime and before home support i was in that place where you could barely walk around in my room because of all the trash. its so hard when your brain just stalls out like its blue screening when you need to clean. you are truly helping people that need it as i would live in a state a kin to what you show if not for the support system i have, not everyone is as fortunate to have such support and its heart breaking. ❤😢

[@theresaspencer6042]

I honestly love your content just because of videos like this. Other creators doing the same thing you're doing seem to make fun of whoever it may be there are trying to help. It's sad. So thank you for always defending those who suffer from whatever it may be that keeps them so down. God has a special place in heaven for you.

[@Greytawnyowl]

Thank you for understanding. You’re doing great work.

[@Incompetent-Art]

Thank you so much for this as someone Who is Neuro divergent and is also dealing with depression this is so…… I don’t have the words, but Thank you so much for making this video

[@meenamusallam]

thank you for putting it into words. no one ever understands

[@robbiediles4242]

Blessings to you in the name of the Lord Jesus for your health and strength and for helping others 🙏🙏❤️

[@breathoflife8004]

So grateful for you and this explanation... Truly love you and your content. Hope to meet you someday.

[@starrpatrick2905]

Thank you ❤️ So a tip for my fellow ADHD brains, some chocolate chips before and after I do a boring chores helps a lot. Gives me a boost of dopamine and I get the reward after.

[@-blahblahblah]

Thank you so much for this. I keep a clean house but when depressed I live in filth. I've kept an eye on it and been able to be clean but only the bare minimum the last few years but it feels like I will die before I can get my mind to clean when I'm depressed.

[@0-._Star-Moon_.-0]

This makes me feel valid, I’m a person with ADHD, depression, and possible autism. I always wondered why I was more about organizing than cleaning and how I procrastinated and just ignored everything all the time

[@clemgdj6418]

Thank you for putting it so clearly

[@Daisy-w2q]

My mom knew I had ADHD since I was five yet she told me I didn’t because she thought I would be upset honestly I’m more upset I was lied to for most of my life then I would have been if she told me plus she didn’t really understand ADHD and would constantly say I was being lazy both putting me down and decreasing my mental health and that’s my fun little story about my ADHD

[@ericah2660]

Thank you so much.

[@eyesup9542]

ABSOLUTELY ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@jeanineross8457]

YES!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!❤❤❤

[@tzu2146]

You're absolutely 💯

[@geekchick4859]

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!! I am AuDHD, my son is too and my hubby is ADHD. Our house looks like a bomb hit it every day and none of us can come to cleaning it. Nor do we have the funds for it. I have finally found a gardener who can help but I’m yet to find a cleaner. $40/hr is just more than we can afford each week. 😢

[@tammymomoftwo]

As someone with autism and ADHD Who also has medical issues such as arthritis (despite only being freaking 20!!) I really appreciate people like you I’m doing better with cleaning and not leaving stuff all gross But I can say with certainty This room in the video is cleaner than my room when I was younger By a significant amount It’s not that I couldn’t clean Small messes were easy I could clean my desk But then If I clan my desk, I need to put the stuff on my desk somewhere, the things on my desk actually go on the table, but the table is covered in stuff All the garbage on both the table and desk needs to go in the trash But the trash is full So I need to take out the trash But the trash is heavy and disgusting and touching it gives me actual panic attacks And even if I do clean the table The things on the table go on the bed The bed is also disgusting I can’t push it all on the floor cuz the floor is already covered in stuff The dresser is a mess of rotten food and stuff And if I bring out any of my dishes to clean them of the rotten milk and mold experiments growing inside them Then I might be seen by my parents Which means getting yelled at If I clean at all they might see and yell at me Not to mention if I clean it, then the messes underneath become visible, and I’ll get yelled at for all the stains and stuff And on top of all of that Simply starting to clean is an insane task It’s just not possible I would know I tried day after day to clean But I just couldn’t I’d pick up one thing And my brain would just stop I can’t tell you how many times I stood in the middle of my room dead silent just getting more and more overwhelmed as I tried to force my body to move and start cleaning and just do something And I just didn’t And eventually just fell into a puddle of tears I used to live in a room filled with fruit flies Literally they were on every surface I moved strategically as to not disturb them so they wouldn’t start flying around I slept with ear plugs in because I was 12 and was afraid of them crawling in my ears while I slept They were on my bed I slept with them on my bed And I know looking back that they’d land on me while I slept I have a very poor immune system And I was constantly sick because of this disgusting environment It wasn’t as if I enjoyed it I felt ashamed of it I wouldn’t let people in my room I sprayed febreese or perfume all over the place to hide the smell I’d have bags and bags of garbage And I just couldn’t fix it Every time I cleaned It wasn’t enough And I just ruined it again I’d clean one table Then by the time I cleaned the desk The table was disgusting again I hated it Trust me when I say living with thousands of fruit flies isn’t “being lazy” it’s called being sick Mentally and physically in my case Looking back I know at least some blame falls on my parents for allowing their 10-12 year old daughter to sleep in a room covered in fruit flies and rotten meat But like I let it get that way That’s why I didn’t blame them for allowing that to happen until I was 18 and realized they probably should have stepped in and done something to protect my health So all in all It’s wonderful to know people like you exist Who will help and support people like me when I was younger And do so without making us feel like monsters for not being able to protect ourselves and keep ourselves clean or safe I don’t know who you did this cleaning for But I can promise you, it was probably the first time in a very long time they walked in their room and didn’t feel that sting of guilt and shame and self hatred

[@EnyaTheDrakaina]

Also, I think you should add this into one of your videos. How bad would your life have to be that your home would get this bad instead of criticizing sympathize how horrible would your life have to be for it to get like this?

[@Clover_Xelukarlanth]

literally I watched a neurodivergent classmate get called "lazy, not forgetful or tired." I myself am neurodivergent.

[@DKF_oli]

all the orange is impressive. it’s not lost on me that you chose tangerine clean 😊

[@stopmefoamjumping]

Thank you. 🥹

[@mimiharv]

This is very important. What I have also experienced, though, is that many things need discipline more than motivation. I‘ve had insane lows, and I agree that it is so so hard to do chores during them, but as long as your body still obeys, it’s still possible. Who cares if I feel like dying while cleaning, at the end of it I will have a clean flat. This doesn’t always work, but it works most of the time.

[@meaganhartman4304]

I feel so seen ❤ thank you

[@Hollycat50]

❤❤❤❤❤❤ Thank you!!

[@SylviaFrey]

I’m AuDHD and whenever I clean I feel extremely anxious, jittery, and I do that thing where I say sorry for EVERYTHING. Thank you for this, everyone calls me lazy for it.

[@LeeDee5]

I feel this right now. I need to clean the space around me but I can't even start. And I like cleaning in general actually but my motivation is extremely low.

[@marcysnow89]

Wow. I absolutely love you right now.

[@tomanyfandoms1726]

For myself I know I like constant repetitive tasks. Like packing a bunch lolly bags with a certain amount of lollies, it just scratches my brain the right way. Tasks like cleaning and doing laundry aren’t consistent and can greatly impact a routine, making it even more difficult do them. The only time I can get motivation is when I’m having a really good day or when it’s a Sunday (when my mum gives the whole house a clean, pretty sure she has ADHD or something as well)

[@NotAPersonPeople]

Ty for eductaing ppl. I have adhd and some other things and cleaning is very hard. normaly it has to be cleaning that requites alot of difrent steps that makes it fun (like the bathroom) or has to have a reward promised so i like having friends over because otherwise i get the criping anxiety of what was my bombsight of a room is not clean. I did clean tho and im very proud.

[@Jamieforeals]

Thank you 🙏🏼

[@tiraduvernay3004]

YOUR AMAZING!!!❤

[@karensmith4336]

I've always wondered how being hyper (ADHD) mixed with being lazy. Thank you so much!

[@ariajellybean33]

I have ADHD, I'd just like to say thank you, if all neurotypical people were this empathetic about it I would definitely not be so afraid to talk to people😔😊❤

[@grannieclampit8570]

Amen Sister 🎉

[@vk9688]

I’m mentally ill and neurodivergent. And with my autism there’s also a sensory difficulty aspect to cleaning, like the loud vacuum or nasty wet food on dirty dishes. And on the opposite end, my mom legitimately has the cleaning type of OCD, and she takes a lot of pride in keeping our home clean. My mom just can’t seem to understand why I struggle to clean up, or why I don’t immediately put things away, or why I just move my laundry out of my way when she leaves it in my room instead of putting it away, or why I struggle with my personal hygiene. It’s frustrating sometimes, but at least there’s someone in the house who makes sure stuff gets done and it doesn’t turn into a complete wreck, especially when I’m struggling to even remember to drink enough water some days.

[@t0mies_b0dy]

I actually managed to clean mine n my fiance's depression room one morning. Kinda forced myself but I was also excited to set up the cube storage we got recently !! ❤

[@Jenn.linsey]

My neighbor, who is only 27 years old, just moved in to the apartment beside me. She bought a pumpkin for Halloween, placed it on her doorstep and now in late December, the pumpkin is sitting uncarved and a rotten puddle of gross on her front porch. She has ADHD, and I suppose removing the pumpkin doesn’t have enough importance in her brain to be worth completing the task. I often wonder if it would be overstepping my boundary to remove it, or if it would be helpful.

[@marisabond]

I bet you could avoid the whole rude/not rude thing altogether if you grabbed a box with some trash and stuff in it and knocked and made it out to be that you are headed to the dumpster anyway and did she want you to grab it on your way?

[@angela0042]

As long as it’s done in an empathetic way, people are generally grateful.

[@Hwgt888]

You don’t have to worry about boundaries when people will leave things to rot for months in shared spaces then claim their ADHD kept them from being considerate of others.

[@Jenn.linsey]

@@Hwgt888 it’s not a shared space. It’s her own front porch

[@brittneyortiz2036]

THANK YOU!

[@zburton9636]

I have bad mental health, and i just have to force myself. I went to therapy a long time in my youth and learned how to manipulate myself into doing it, and my parents didn't really care if i was depressed. Im bipolar and also have ADHD. And i have OCD as well. So cleaning is one of my hyperfixations, and if it isn't done right away, i feel panic, so i have a schedule for myself. But if it gets obstructed, i will become manic and / or go into a depressive episode. Yes, it still gets done, but my brains response to that is weird. Im good at cleaning. I enjoy it. But i stressed myself out. Some of my friends have similar illness as i do, but they can't force themselves, so i will help them! Everyone has a different coping for that.

[@MommaARA]

Bingo!! She got it right.

[@babetweirdgirl4103]

I've noticed my motivation levels seem to correlate to where I am in my monthly cycle. On good days I do as much as I can. Then skate by in a moderately dirty house the other 3 weeks of the month.

[@Ladylunna89]

Thank you!

[@Maysnyder-g5p]

My son is away right now and I'm cleaning his room before he gets back and it looks exactly like this, down to the Fortnite poster

[@zombiecadman7804]

Thank you so much

🇬🇧💝 great cleaning 🧼🧹