Zoologist Reacts To "Who Would Win? Ultimate Ocean Rumble" (The Worst Book EVER!)

[@ClintsReptiles]

Over 16 MINUTES of BONUS content from this video, exclusively for our Stinkin' Rad Fans on Patreon! Patreon is a great way to support Clint's Reptiles AND get awesome extras (including hundreds of other bonus videos)! www.patreon.com/posts/video-patreon-vs-84885022

[@c5365]

You should read more of these! C'mon, Clint, it'll be fun!

[@trilobite3120]

If you do do a Cephalopod phylogeny then it would be cool to see some extinct groups like the Orthoceratoids, Actinoceratids (like my favourite cephalopod Gonioceras) and the sometimes giant Endoceratoids.

[@GarysTandAExotics]

Leather backs eat jellyfish🤦‍♂️. I would have stopped at that point too then burned the book.

[@jerryamescua]

Alt ending: jellyfish shows up with a steel chair. F for salty

[@DJFracus]

9:48 The fact isn't true for banded sea kraits either, because it was worded as "come on land ONLY to lay eggs". Banded sea kraits spend a lot of time on land, for plenty of other reasons, like digesting food, finding mates, or molting.

[@demosthenes995]

Clint was the true loser of this tournament, it made his brain go "Ouch!"

[@stuchly1]

😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣 almost drowned on what I was drinking 🫣🫣🫣🫣

[@Flickerbeat]

Truly - it made all of our brains go ouch.

[@mikekuppen6256]

I think a man o´war tentacle may have entered his brain through his nose.

[@Michelle_Mayo]

@@stuchly1 lol I laughed even harder at your comment... I was just thinking I was lucky I wasn't drinking something. Legit giggle-snorted, then laughed so hard I coughed lol

[@ALilBitWitchy]

🤣🤣☠️☠️

[@DrygdorDradgvork]

Stonefish does a 360° no scope on the polar bear, killing it instantly. Stonefish teabags the polar bear and insults its mother.

[@kg6801]

🤣

[@katharineball585]

Ouch!

[@limitqa]

He tells it to eat his pants, and uses his dab emote.

[@Mag3.1415]

Yes XD

[@FlygonkingVGC]

Stonefish needs a debuff

[@Evergreen_Wizard]

A man-o-war winning against a leatherback turtle is like a sandwitch winning against a fast food enjoyer.

[@genericname2747]

A turtle is more likely to lose against plastic than a jellyfish

[@ScrumbynPlumbo]

Subway sandwich VS Jared Fogle Sorry not sorry

[@jjh2472]

@dylanthomas856 Reese’s

[@Vicus_of_Utrecht]

@@ScrumbynPlumbo A schoolboy vs Jared Fogle Ftfy

[@Ecstacy333]

@@genericname2747 dont wanna be that guy but man o war are actually siphonophore

[@pallen2645]

"In the semi finals, the matchup we've been waiting for, the sea cucumber versus the USS Nebraska. The Nebraska may be equipped with 20 Trident II ballistic missiles, but the sea cucumber gets lodged in the submarine's engine intake preventing coolant from entering its nuclear engine. The submarine melts down. Ouch! The sea cucumber moves into the final round!" "Fun Fact: despite their similar shape, sea cucumbers are only distantly related to nuclear submarines"

[@ningenslayer6306]

Late, but this is gold

[@stuchly1]

I went back to rewatch these videos and noticed this comment. I have never laughed so hard in my life. 😂 Thank you.

[@seaneubanks4380]

😭😭😭

[@mrrodgers0]

I didn't think it was possible, but the level of absurdity in the original document (I will NOT dignify it with the title of book) has finally been matched.

[@Isabellashellastella]

The ouch! Destroyed me

[@dacksonflux]

The look of sheer disappointment on Clint's face when he says, "...sucks a man-o-war into its blow hole" killed me 🤣

[@Dreigonix]

I swear this book was sponsored by a man-o’-war. The only way they could contrive a man-o’-war victory over an orca was to have the orca literally snort the damn thing. >.>

[@NRG56]

He had that "i'm getting demonitized" look

[@joycepillow8143]

That man of War is a demon version lol

[@thosebloodybadgers8499]

​@@DreigonixThey literally allowed the Man o' War to mob that orca, someone's palms definitely got greased behind the scenes

[@Sciguy95]

​@@thosebloodybadgers8499they didn't even use the mob. They just had the orca accidentally suck one into it's blow hole as if they don't know not to breath under water.

[@tbfort84]

My daughter got this as a free book from a school fundraiser. I'm very proud to say that she threw it across the room when the orca lost.

[@eithnemelee2997]

Sounds like you’re raising her right and could have a future scientist on your hands! Team orca all the way!

[@nick-playercharacter8583]

The kids are alright.

[@elinaw6175]

SPOILER!!!

[@ghiankenjib.santos3134]

lol

[@yzfool6639]

She's just a hater.

[@GenreChowderStudios]

“The whole competition is just a game for them.” There is something deeply unsettling about how well that line captures the orcas’ intelligence.

[@catman9222]

And then the Orca tries to inhale underwater and drowns.

[@Eisenwulf666]

​@@catman9222"Oh no, water..my only weakness ! blub glub blllb"

[@jonasarnesen6825]

It's all fun and games until the Spermwhales and Humpbacks arrive...

[@superseagull]

It's just a simple numbers game. When your heart rate reaches 0, you lose!

[@etnova1646]

The idea of Clint reading his son this as a bedtime story only to stop half way through and go off about the inaccuracy of the book is my new favorite thing.

[@shannonmcnair8238]

Not even half. I believe he said ‘leather back sea turtle vs man o’ war’ was when he stopped. Which I think was round 4 and I agree.

[@suchnothing]

I suspect his son brought the first rumble book home out of interest, and brought any following rumble books home to torture his father.

[@SuperFloxes]

I can't say I blame him because I would've done the exact same thing in his position.

[@WhyyesIamallama]

"Oh, great, Dad's at it again!" But seriously, I was laughing imagining this.

[@DeerWolf.TheFirst]

I've done something similar with poorly written books with my daughter. I end up satirizing and adding my own words to it and most of the time she enjoys my efforts.

[@andrewbloom7694]

I love that they suddenly introduced the hundreds of Man O' wars, letting you think theyd win by swarm tactics or something. And then they just immediately forgot and had a single Man o' war win anyway...

[@Tareltonlives]

I love the chuckwalla just chilling on the desk. "Oh yeah, I beat a mamba" Cute little chub.

[@Tareltonlives]

I love the blooper when the chuckwalla just nopes out.

[@shannonmcnair8238]

He was brave to have that chuckwalla there. Clearly they are the apex of the universe with the best plot armor.

[@BenjaminWongYT]

People we need to start caring about Clint's mental health and the risks he's taking. He's living with a Chuckwalla which is more deadly than a Mamba.

[@killdozer7792]

Y'know what, I decided to test if a chuckwalla could beat a green mamba, so I bought one of each and put them together. The chuckwalla was immediately bitten. Then, after five days of what I can only imagine was agonizing pain, the mamba died. Clint was right all along.

[@BenjaminWongYT]

​@@killdozer7792Someone needs to put a Chuckwalla with a Salty and see if a Chuckwalla might be the cause of Lolong's death lol

[@BenjaminWongYT]

How did this get 106 likes tysm

[@TenorCantusFirmus]

I anyway think that chuckwalla is kinda cute.

[@TenorCantusFirmus]

@@killdozer7792 Chuck "Walla" Norris 😁😁.

[@lexinicole4317]

“Because this CROCODILE, KNOWS THINGS, THAT A CROCODILE… should not know” I can’t stop laughing

[@show-me-orion]

The Orca: “Snakes? Yuck!” Clint: *goes through the five stages of grief*

[@amandastakeonit7402]

Me too!

[@LiarJudas666]

lmao that's exactly it

[@jaschabull2365]

On the plus side, that'd probably be most fortunate for the snakes, as otherwise the orcas would likely go, "Snakes? Yum!"

[@lsmmoore1]

And he should. Orcas may be one of the most humanlike creatures out there (except for actual humans) but last I checked orcas don't have Bibles to tell them that snakes are a symbol of sin and should be treated as if they exude evil. Only humans from certain cultures (not all of them) have that particular brand of nonsense. And yes, I know not every Christian goes along with that, but the bad words about snakes in the Bible don't exactly lend themselves to nuanced understanding of animals.

[@LiarJudas666]

@@lsmmoore1 humans actually have an instinctual ability to notice and fear snakes, or most of us anyway. other animals do too, its why cats get scared when they see an unexpected cucumber

[@tsumgye5370]

I find it fascinating the kind of logic this book uses with the venomous animals, because it's exactly the kind of reasoning I would hear a kid use. One concept I could never fully get across to my siblings while they were young, is that venoms, poisons, and toxins of any variety aren't always lethal, or even painful at all. All they would hear is "that animal is venomous/poisonous" and immediately assume it was a threat to themselves. which, it's fair be a little paranoid. But there are so many toxins that just don't work anymore on larger animals, animals with specific adaptations against them, or animals that the toxin was never meant to be used on in the first place. And that toxin paranoia is what I see in this book. None of the animals are allowed to just not take those toxins seriously, because everybody knows that toxins make you go ouch. Even in the round where the saltwater croc did manage to beat the stonefish, they felt like they needed to justify this by some fancy maneuvering on the croc's part. It's the underlying assumption that if the croc didn't do all that, that the toxins in the stonefish would have been enough. And that's just so astonishing that we're supposed to believe an adult wrote this book.

[@danielcook4712]

Exactly. The one that got me the most was the sea turtle vs the man o war, when I thought it was common knowledge that jelly fish are sea turtles favourite food. And they are completely immune to the stings, or just don’t care about them. It’s often hard to tell as animals rarely react to minor pain, especially pain they expect to happen.

[@eightcoins4401]

@@danielcook4712a portugese man o war is a siphonophore and not a jellyfish, though id agree turtles probably can probably eat it

[@TwilitbeingReboot]

It's astonishing and, when I let myself think about it, infuriating. This is the kind of thinking that leads adult human beings to kill every snake they encounter out of a deeply-held fear. And people write books that instill and reinforce that same unthinking fear in a new generation, when accurate information is seconds away for anyone who actually cares to look for it.

[@Dreigonix]

@@TwilitbeingReboot I KNOW RIGHT

[@ryanwaldrop2473]

​@@TwilitbeingRebootKids should be taught they are dangerous...

[@kezia8027]

seeing the light slowly leaving clints eyes over the course of the book was equal parts hilarious and depressing

[@KatieDeGo]

I saw this at my kids book fair and thumbed through it, then proceeded to stand there ranting until my husband stopped me because parents were staring 😅

[@ClintsReptiles]

Thank you for doing your part!

[@KatieDeGo]

@@ClintsReptiles aye aye cap'n!

[@eggnogalcoholic]

This is fantastic. It sounds like a moment out of a sitcom. Love it.

[@scrubjay93]

that would have been me! 😂

[@gunmunz]

@@eggnogalcoholic The turtle lost Jerry! The turtle that the eats jellyfish lost! to a jellyfish!

[@Irishxlily]

Clint vs Ocean Rumble. Clint comes at it with logic and animal facts, cutting into the books already fragile credibility. But uh oh, the ridiculousness of the outcomes completely flabbergasts Clint causing injury to his brain cells "Ouch!!" Clint needs to go lay down on the floor for a while. This gives the chuckwalla just enough time to sneak under a bookshelf, puff up, and cause it to fall onto the man while he's already down. The audience wins.

[@kg6801]

Lol, genius!

[@evier.5257]

"The audience wins"! 🤣 this is the funniest comment I've read all day! 🤣🤣

[@toranydangit]

Now this is the most realistic fight I have seen so far!

[@scrubjay93]

I died 🤣🤣🤣

[@ellotheearthling]

Most accurate fight in these books

[@mayorglalie]

Man, the Orca vs Man O' War fight really makes me feel better about how I write fight scenes. I've had issues with some of course, but never have I had someone lose a fight simply because they forgot how to breathe.

[@TheMelnTeam]

In dungeons and dragons people can die due to stat 0, like 0 int. I guess it implies functional brain death so it kind of fits. Until you die to 0 charisma.

[@awaredeshmukh3202]

​​@@TheMelnTeami feel like people have definitely died due to 0 charisma, albeit indirectly lol

[@TheMelnTeam]

@@awaredeshmukh3202 Agreed, but the game skips that step and you just drop on the spot lol.

[@awaredeshmukh3202]

@@TheMelnTeam 0 con, str, int seem like they could legit kill you; 0 dex, wis, and cha seem less immediately dangerous lol

[@margodphd]

​@@awaredeshmukh3202​ Wis 0 would probably end fast by insulting someone they really shouldn't. Or, y know, stepping on a lionfish. I'm a living example that charisma 0 is survivable.

[@tell-me-a-story-]

Orca is smarter than some humans in one fight, but he’s so dumb he tries to breath underwater in the next fight.

[@goldeneagle8740]

My 9yo brother has a whole collection of these books and this is EXACTLY my problem with them. Everything that happens in these books are so stupid. It appeals to a young child’s thoughts of what could happen, dramatizing every interaction often with completely ridiculous and unrealistic ways that one animal might win. I remember being absolutely furious around these books, and I’m so glad they have finally gotten some criticism!

[@goldeneagle8740]

@@NickPalmer-jd2iv The comment is overdramatized, it’s sort of a half joke. Also since I am very mature and not Emo i am incredibly offended 😤😡 (ok in all seriousness I think these books have a great concept but fail at what they market: a realistic description of what animal would win. Anyways, I suggest you delete your comment or something before someone comments r/woosh)

[@NickPalmer-jd2iv]

@@goldeneagle8740 aright sorry I was angry since I had a long night

[@goldeneagle8740]

@@NickPalmer-jd2iv It doesn’t matter, have a good day

[@InternetLobster]

I don't want you to suffer anymore, Clint. Please. Please.... allow the Chuckwalla to destroy this evil.

[@kylieschuttloffel1261]

"the book approaches the chuckwalla, looking for an easy animal to write misinformation about. but the chuckwalla wedges itself into the rocks, and in the process accidentally causes one of them to fall and land on the book."

[@miketufaro5915]

But paper beats rock!? Lol

[@PavelNygryn]

The book approaches the chuckwalla. Chuckwalla remembers it's capability to eat fiber-rich and especially lignin-rich food and starts very slowly to chew the book. Chuck wins.

[@Orangutan_Stella]

​@@miketufaro5915chuckwalla beats paper 😅

[@theperfectbotsteve4916]

he should do a cephalopod episode to calm down

[@mozzstickdestroyer]

"I don't even know where you would FIND this wrong information." God I love Sassy Clint.

[@genericname2747]

Honestly, some of this misinformation is so stupid that I think they just made it up on the spot.

[@fredricknoe3114]

My best guess is that they just misremembered their trip to Bob's roadside zoo/exotic meat store the year before.

[@one-very-lost-cat]

I feel like they had to make the orca lose in such a ridiculous way because they realised halfway through writing that the orca would just wipe the floor with literally everything. Unless a single orca can’t kill, like, a blue whale, but I'm pretty sure a pod could if they tried.

[@error-try-again-later]

Orcas have been seen eating blue whale _calves,_ so they might be able to win. I think it's unlikely against a fully grown adult though.

[@DrewGThomas]

Not only would the orca win. It’s the only one who would willingly participate in this competition. Orcas are aholes who have been known to kill for fun or sport. Orcas kill everything in this competition and then look for other unsuspecting chumps to harrase and kill while gloating how they did it.

[@othtorpotato9960]

You'll be happy to know marine biologists have observed orca pods hunting blue whales

[@thefamilyname1]

They suffocate them by coming above them and sitting on their blow hole so they can't surface 😢...

[@QUAHJIANYUMoe]

Usually entire pods of orcas will hunt young humpbacks and other marine animals, many people underrate blue whales a lot. Blue whales are the most strongest creatures we have ever documented. A blue whale's tail can strike at a force of 200plus tonnes, it's tail being one of the strongest and powerful weapon in the animal kingdom because of it's accuracy and force. Blue whales have defended and won against pods of orcas (known to be up to 100 specimens) . Blue whales are very intelligent and powerful creatures.

[@anthonylambert7338]

Frog versus fly 🐸 🪰 Fly pulls out an AK-47, shoots frog, then starts roasting him. Fly wins!

[@JudgementBird643]

Ouch!

[@superseagull]

I bursted out laughing reading this, all jokes aside

[@julianbrelsford]

Clint is consistently so.full of positivity and enthusiasm. It's funny to see him positively angry like this.

[@someguynamedowen9944]

This video should be renamed to “Clint slowly losing his mind for 36 minutes”

[@davidvento5481]

Hey Clint, you grew it You chew it. Period. 😂

[@SPQRcat]

Congrats on being featured on the thumbnail

[@jayxes1402]

You are on the thumbnail 🎉

[@someguynamedowen9944]

@@jayxes1402 I see this as an absolute win

[@Michelle_Mayo]

LOL OMG *YES* 🤣😂 My husband and I were LOSING it laughing through the entire video! Clint, we absolutely adore you lol - Marcus and the Mayos

[@heyy13]

"THE CROCODILE KNOWS THINGS! WHICH CROCODILES DON'T KNOW ABOUT STONE FISH!!!!" This made me crack up. Thank you.

[@corphish129]

The crocodile had prep time.

[@TyrantKing45]

@@corphish129Croc-Man

[@AVspectre]

I’m a librarian and know this series was really popular with our kids. I’m thinking in particular of a reluctant reader who would pour over these in fascination. The concept is really attention-grabbing for kids but I didn’t realize how many factual errors were included. What a bummer!

[@HarrisonD1981]

Then I hope that you are aware of the new trend of AI generated childrens books that are just pure nonsense from an Ai promo. Amazon is completely full of them and parents are buying them unwittingly

[@NitroIndigo]

​@@HarrisonD1981Could you give me some examples?

[@peanutpie5042]

So what your saying is someone with a zoological background need to write an accurate animal battle book? Whelp, I guess I'll just have to do it.

[@AllanTidgwell]

​@peanutpie5042 go for it. Just make sure it's different enough so you don't get sued

[@berjoxhn5142]

@@peanutpie5042 the market is open if you target kids

[@notovny]

Saltwater Crocodile: Studied stonefish biology in college. Orca: LITERALLY FORGETS HOW TO BREATHE

[@nowandaround312]

Salty went to college, Orca failed elementary school. Moral of the story: Stay in school or someday you might be killed in a fight with a bunny rabbit, in spite of having a gun, because you'll breathe in at the wrong time and the bunny's fluffy tail will become lodged in your trachea.

[@ruinpowder]

i work at a library and it’s kind of depressing how popular these books are despite being full of so much misinformation. i think it’s probably because the titles are really tantalizing to a kid who wants to read about “scary” animals fighting each other 😭 i already have some personal beef with them because someone dropped a moldy copy of the komodo dragon vs king cobra book into our book drop and i had to touch it when i was fishing it out 😔

[@margodphd]

Ow. I wish one could insert corrections into such books.

[@LiMe251]

​@@margodphdIt's just for fun.

[@LiMe251]

​@@margodphdI mean they could handle the scaling better but still.

[@devinerwin4842]

I love the "ouch rule" that is implemented at random. I want some ground rules!

[@ClintsReptiles]

Yes!

[@rogerrabbit80]

The ground doesn't say "ouch," so the ground wins!

[@nowandaround312]

@@rogerrabbit80 An excavator could make the ground say "ouch!" The ground would probably still win though. The excavator uses its sharp teeth to viciously rip into the ground, tearing out a chunk of its body. The ground says "ouch!" and opens up a sinkhole, swallowing the excavator whole!

[@biblicallyaccuratecockroach]

Seeing Clint's usually so put-together hair get more and more frazzled as he drags along until it's just slumping on his forehead like he's slumping on the table, utterly defeated, was fascinating to see 😂 my utmost sympathies to you, your sacrifice is most appreciated.

[@Vicus_of_Utrecht]

Good point

[@eggnogalcoholic]

30:59 I’m stunned that at ROUND THREE, two of the largest predators in the ocean - orca and great white - are absent because of absurd and implausible weakness to small venomous animals… great exciting climax to this book, well done author!

[@januszpolak254]

Seriously I can't get over how creators of this book thing venom can overcome literally being one shotted by another opponent without trying.

[@Chaotic_Pixie]

He's an award winning children's book author... and it's kind of infuriating that these are sold as educational books.

[@NickPalmer-jd2iv]

Well to put it straight if you were born during the time of those books do you think you would actually understand a 100 page book about a sort of under water WWE fight with complex and scientific words and not to mention blood and gore to be even more realistic these are better for kids and yes they are stupid as you grow up and become 13+ but you still gotta remember that it was more educational then baby books at the numbers and abc which are more useless since during your baby hood you don’t even remember anything and you would have forgotten Intill you went pre k or kindergarten

[@lukakaps9548]

​@@NickPalmer-jd2iv what are you on about? Made-up "scientific facts" that are completely incorrect are not, in any way educational. These books are terrible for children and if you want to your kids to learn about animals and learn reading, read a scientifically accurate book WITH them, not to them.

[@NeenOrig]

​@@NickPalmer-jd2ivokay, but you can present it in the exact same, child-friendly and fun style that they already have, and just... give accurate information lmao. It's literally just "don't publish misinformation," especially when it's this easy to fact check.

[@ariafiresong]

@@NickPalmer-jd2iv Yes. My ass read educational animal books constantly because the kids books didn't have enough information. It's not better for a kid to get a dumb idea in their head that they carry into adulthood, that's why I had to have an argument with a grown, bill-paying coworker that Alaska isn't a tropical island. Why? Because the maps they give kids put it by Hawaii. It's easier to teach kids the right thing first instead of trying to have them unlearn it when it's ingrained in the brain.

[@whyareyoureadingmynickname8158]

This video reminded of one issue from magazine I used to read as a kid. They did this "Animal Fight Club" thing, where they picked 16 tough animals (both aquatic and terrestrial) and pitted them against each other. It lead to some pretty bullshit matchups, such as gorilla Vs Tasmanian devil, polar bear VS sperm whale and elephant VS great white shark. But at least they declared orca the winner in the end, instead of pulling some backwards twist. Also, in that same competition, polar bear got bitten by Komodo dragon (who has venomous bite) and simply shrugged it off thanks to his fur being impregnable. But apparently one small "ouchie" spike was more than capable of putting down this humongous beast.

[@Brandon-br7tc]

Kinda weird that the Orca ended up being the winner in the same competition as a Sperm Whale and Elephant. Also, I don’t think it’s necessarily ridiculous that a Polar Bear wasn’t killed by the Komodo’s venom. I don’t believe it’s exactly meant to be the most potent in the world. Those monitor lizards still rely a good amount on their brawling prowess and serrated teeth for killing prey, yet the Bear is in a far higher weight class making it pretty one sided. At least the spikes might be more likely to actually go through the Polar Bear’s skin if it steps on the stone fish, leaning with its full body weight.

[@whyareyoureadingmynickname8158]

@@Brandon-br7tc You misunderstood me about polar bear. I was commenting how he completely shrugged off Komodo's bite like it's nothing but, in the book discussed in video, he gets stung by stonefish and runs off like a little b*tch. Bear should have easily crushed the stonefish with his big paw, injured or not. That match in the book was rigged as hell, because the writer doesn't understand how venom and poison work. As for above, elephant was killed in bullsh*t match against great white shark which started biting him after he entered the water (stupid, I know). On "bright" side, writer of that competition acknowledged that sperm whale is stronger than orca, but orca won thanks to better mobility and agility. I know that it's still sketchy, but that was one of the less outrageous moments.

[@titanomachy2217]

Haha gorilla versus Tasmanian devil? Was it at least a group of Tasmanian devils?

[@titanomachy2217]

And I don't see how a polar bear is supposed to deal with a sperm whale.

[@whyareyoureadingmynickname8158]

@@titanomachy2217 Nope, straight one on one. Really fair fight for devil. As for the latter - well, poor bear didn't deal with him. At all. Poor bastard.

[@sayee8492]

Clint's face at 6:49 reacting to "snakes? yuck!" is GOLD. Also please do a cephalopod phylogeny video!!!

[@themallimalli]

Yes! I rewatched that part multiple times 😂😂

[@kai_maceration]

I hate when supposedly educational material perpetuates negative attitudes towards certain animals, how common would arachnophobia be if we taught kids about spiders in a neutral or positive way? would we appreciate wasps as much as bees if we stopped repeating the myth they sting more?

[@lem4425]

Former teacher here. I have to say that having information like this is a huge help. It’s been a hot minute since I was in a classroom, but these were pretty popular and it’s important to hear this kind of critique from an expert. This can be such a great teaching moment and conversation about evaluating sources and non-fiction for reliability. Also the fact that even when we trust a publisher as a go to for books and information we should still double-check validity. Really appreciate this video.

[@KimberDillon4]

Clint my friend, You know the next logical step is for you to write a kid’s Epic Animals Battle book yeah? In all of your spare time lol 😂❤

[@ChaoticNeutralElf]

I volunteer to make the illustrations haha

[@squirrelmurderous]

That's not a challange. I mean i can write a better one right now just based on this video pls... XD

[@killdozer7792]

I could do that. I even wrote-up a structure for an Australian Rumble and even when I had a wombat beat a Tasmanian devil I justified it...I think? It butt-crushed the devil's head. It's something wombats can do, OK?

[@HissyFitPetTherapy]

I adore the term “butt-crushed” so much!!!!

[@amandastakeonit7402]

Yep, and call it Who would ACTUALLY win!!

[@Goji-Moji]

“A fish against a whale is a great matchup” Best quote out of context. Still great in context. 😂

[@saddlerrye6725]

I found a new title for the book: "Ultimate Ocean Rumble, a.k.a. How to contort the rules and facts until my fav wins?"

[@nickkovacs6025]

Technically, the "milkweed vs. monarch butterfly caterpillar" example you used would actually be a more fair matchup than leatherback vs. man o' war, as milkweed has a sticky substance it excretes when it's leaves are torn that can suffocate monarch caterpillars.

[@christophershell7564]

That is what I was thinking. Milkweed kills plenty of caterpillars when they are still small. To my knowledge, the only way a man of war would win was if it was against a fresh hatchling. A better comparison would be mouse vs rodent-eating snake where the mouse would be very unlikely to win, but still could hypothetically do so.

[@evanseifert8858]

itso detected

[@MurielROT]

It’d be more like a camel vs cactus or a giraffe vs an acacia tree

[@Chaos42666]

"Who would win: a children's book, or a biologist?" One would think the biologist by a landslide, but surprisingly the book causes a surprising amount of psychic damage, the biologist walks away, but he is broken, who knows if his next match with a children's book will go as well... (it's also worth noting, the reptile rumble was written *AFTER* the ocean one, they *could* have eliminated it because it can't hold two titles, but didn't)

[@wizardninjapenguin]

The children's book won because it made Clint say ouch first.

[@MsWillowbayOrelse]

LOL I think Clint should do a realistic version of these books! I bet people would buy them so they could read actual facts to their kids.

[@ClintsReptiles]

Who Would ACTUALLY Win?

[@DamienNeverwinter]

@@ClintsReptiles Clint I dont condone it, but in Victorian times the British held a battle royale between just about every dangerous animal there is. They said it was scientific and there was no betting -honest. It was won by the grizzly -even the polar bear stood no chance. Apparently they could even whip an elephant most of the time. I really need to find the name of this sick 'study' again. It was what passed for science in those days

[@larachaplauske8818]

Orca, all day, every day.

[@ilikeweirdfish7106]

@@ClintsReptiles Human with big net unfortunately

[@thestraydog]

@@ilikeweirdfish7106 Now I'm sad... But you're right...

[@chriswolfe403]

Your exasperation is some of the most entertaining content I've seen recently. I cried, thank you

[@carryoncarrion4525]

PLEASE KEEP DOING THESE- people who know alot about biology and love biology love these for the earnestness you show; its also a HUGELY impactful medium to get less interested people interested in biology, and your corrections make it even more fascinating and impactful. I never saw those books as a kid but saw tons of similar programs on animal planet. You can entertain but still give the actual facts about the situation, creating a more intimate relationship between the viewer and how they view nature. Keep giving us your enedingly enthusiastic perspective on all these beautiful creatures.

[@gentledragons6170]

I would pay real money to see Clint make his own ACCURATE version of these books. ❤

[@kennethjackson7574]

@@tripsupstairs I think he intended to teach, but failed.

[@swayback7375]

@@kennethjackson7574that’s one of the dumbest sayings, honestly it would be at home in this book. Where do you fall on that spectrum? You a big “doer” I bet… doing something important no doubt…

[@darkshadow851]

@@kennethjackson7574 Sooo, you're not a "do-er" anymore, and your inane ramblings clearly aren't useful for teaching... But even your ability to criticize seems quite poor. Bummer.

[@jacobdaly689]

I would buy said books

[@jacobdaly689]

@@kennethjackson7574r, respectfully, have you seen the videos of him GOING INTO THE AMAZON RAINFOREST and handling/researching some of the MOST VENOMOUS SNAKES IN THE WORLD? He is a doer, teacher, and critic because when you are an EXPERT you have the luxury to be all three. Also, playing the quote game doesn’t work most of the time because there is always a disagreeing quote, or sometimes the quote is reflexive on the argument (as is the case here with you actually being a critic in this scenario).

[@JD-gn1oy]

Thanks for suffering. This video is a gem.

[@meganely670]

This book seems like a assignment I did in school where we drew types of animals out of a hat and then assigned one head and one tails and flipped a coin for who won and we had to come up with a way for the winner to win in the fight. It was creative writing in a English class and we had time to research the animals in science class. And for each battle we had to write a story. We did this every Friday and Monday we had to turn them in and the best ones would be hung up in the room, while what was considered the best of the month was published in the school paper.

[@alexw.7097]

I am now convinced that this book is just the best of those assignments

[@spiritsofwolves]

That's so cool i wish i could've done that

[@kh6853]

So that's how these books were made

[@beepbeeplettuce5890]

That smells like bullshit

[@ferretappreciator]

​@@alexw.7097worst*

[@johnnyreaper9714]

THANK YOU! I'm very glad that you had to stop to explain that a sea snake wasn't poisonous but instead is venomous. I have this argument with people all of the time. Not specifically about snakes but about things that people like to call poisonous. You have earned a sub from me

[@thesovietunion9542]

whenever i feel bad about myself, i come back to your review of the ‘who would win’ books

[@ashleyburklow241]

This could be an INCREDIBLE series for engaging kids. They have so much potential and instead they put in no effort, time, or research. Mostly no effort. Thanks for reading these for us lol

[@catpoke9557]

They seemed to intentionally eliminate traditionally less 'scary' or 'cool' animals. Notice how the only ones they left at the end were sharks and crocs, but they also eliminated the much stronger shark so the crocodile, an awesome cool reptile with big teeth, could win.

[@error-try-again-later]

I'm still shocked that they chose to eliminate the great white, though. I bet kids read this book mostly for the saltwater crocodile Vs great white battle.

[@risel56]

Really hoping to see a Best Pet Reptile video on the Chuckwalla someday.

[@ClintsReptiles]

Too dangerous. Get a mamba instead.

[@eggnogalcoholic]

@@ClintsReptilesClint STOP you are too funny

[@teresaellis7062]

@@ClintsReptiles 😂😂

[@dyproxus1806]

Bad? Yes, but it doesn't stop them from flying off the shelves like hot cakes. Seriously, I'm a librarian, and these Who will Win style books are honestly one of the most popular Juv level pieces in stock, for better or worse.

[@Ennybay24]

Definitely worse

[@SpamLamb1]

The emotional Rollercoaster of disappointment, rage and despair that is this video just made my day better. Thank you for enduring this for our entertainment.

[@Sara3346]

Clint shouldn't hurt himself like this.

[@ClintsReptiles]

Thank you. Someone needs to look out for my well-being.

[@keksidy]

@@ClintsReptiles I can't tell who went through more pain in their research; you making this video or Schmidt making the Schmidt Pain Index

[@MargeauxandMeShops]

My Chuckwalla is sweet would bite a flea she’s a big baby

[@Atius]

Clint is so brave, Sitting in a room with a chuckwalla

[@ClintsReptiles]

Scariest thing I have ever done.

[@killdozer7792]

The chuckwalla knew what was coming and up-and-left. Smart lizard. X3

[@IrinaGreenman]

And here we all thought he was brave for handling Lilith!

[@benangotti3281]

This video is hilarious! Sorry but seeing you get mad at a kids book being stupid is incredibly entertaining. Plus I learned a bit too! Thanks Clint!

[@Chaotic_Pixie]

Yes. I'd like to see you do this with ALL applicable books. Ultimate Shark Rumble sounds great! Extreme Animal Rumble sounds like a real nail biter. There's the Ultimate Dinosaur Rumble too!

[@llamainyamama3088]

“Because this crocodile knows things… that crocodiles don’t know…” with the psycho eyes was immaculate zoologist panic

[@BigManDaichi]

I don't know how else to phrase this, but you have a disarmingly strong "cool teacher" vibe. This was the first video I've seen from you, and I got that same feeling of trudging from a class I hated into one I loved, like I survived some bland math quiz and now I get to go into Chemistry and blow up pumpkins or something. Thanks for the happy feeling.

[@oleanderpigeon5843]

Loving the implication that in the lore of this book's world there's just some guy wandering around conning random animals into death matches

[@PBuffdaddy00]

I can't even lie. I'm in tears from this video. It is so funny. Clint, sorry you had to endure that, but it sure was funny to watch. I would love a cephalopod phylogeny video.

[@peachfuzz7991]

"The stinging poison... [painful pause] which is venom." I LOVE THIS VIDEO and omg I'm sorry for your pain. 😂😭

[@gentlerat]

Clint is so chill usually that seeing him this mad is funny. I love it.

[@ventabIack]

36 whole minutes of Clint's descent into despair over a kids book? say less!!!

[@vaikaiju]

Here for it!

[@KimberDillon4]

Ah but it’s the why behind the descent!!!!!!

[@TheBen1202]

Less

[@tigergumby]

I feel this every time my son asks me to read these to him. 😂

[@kaciek6893]

The best thing to watch on a Saturday morning

[@LionChavez]

Their is no reason for this video to not go viral. That was the funniest and my favorite video in a long time. Clint was hilarious.

[@Kate22192]

The sad, whispered, defeated “just let me die” was really the cherry on top of this video. 😂

[@BoGaming-wp3mc]

This is the video that got me into this channel. One day before work, I saw it pop up into my recommended. Since then, I have watched many of your videos and I am glad I have. I didn’t mean to watch this today, but it came up while I was making food. Happy 1-year anniversary to me finding this channel. Thank you.

[@patriciageuder5220]

This was one of Clint’s best. I laughed till I cried. I laughed almost as much as I did when he couldn’t stop laughing at the crazy Halloween cat. Shark with a laser beam lol!!!😂😂❤❤

[@Cuttlefish2202]

Orca inhales underwater, drowns, and drifts down until it hits an active sea mine. The sound of the sea mine exploding startles a walrus, which bangs its head on a rock that just happened to be there. Ouch! ORCA WINS

[@ningenslayer6306]

Lmfao

[@eggnogalcoholic]

3:50 Clint: “So, my prediction, Walrus wins” Wow, how reasonable and well thought out, and clearly obvious to anyone who is well researched in biology and took a minimum of thirty seconds to process this information, like hopefully the people who wrote this book did. I know this book is awful, but surely it’s not THAT awful that they will get the first match so glaringly wrong- **Clint flips page** Book: “o U c H ! sHaRk WiNs!” This is gonna be a long day 🍿🥤thanks Clint for making this garbage so fun to watch!

[@Corvus_Clemmons]

But walrus is cute and fluffy,its no match for scary shark.

[@trevortorres3676]

@@Corvus_Clemmons No Walrus have no fluff and regularly injure Polar Bears in Ocean only Great White or an Orca could kill it.

[@KartarNighthawk]

I mean, I saw a guy dedicate an entire reddit thread to the notion that he, personally, unarmed and unarmoured, could defeat a walrus one v one. He didn't really seem to grasp the concept of a walrus.

[@testerwulf3357]

@@KartarNighthawk They can kill polar bears and he thinks he's even cloe to being a match for it? 💀Maybe he thinks he can defeat a female pup and considers that "defeating a walrus" lol

[@KartarNighthawk]

@@testerwulf3357 Nope. Full sized adult male. He kept insisting with his mad MMA skills he'd leap onto its back and stomp in its skull. Personally, I'd love to arrange such a match for him; I could make a lot of money selling tickets and I'd promise to split the proceeds with his heirs.

[@allisonfisher9304]

I’ve found so many grossly in accurate animal fact books that just make me angry. My kids have even begun quizzing me on “facts”, to see if I know anything about it, can disprove it, and they enjoy how irate I get about the “fact” even existing. It’s a fun game🙃

[@genericname2747]

I love how your kids also know that the facts are wrong.

[@blackosprey2219]

Great to know rampant misinformation was always a thing huh

[@peggedyourdad9560]

@@blackosprey2219 Yeah, it's just that now we know that it's misinformation.

[@stukevideo]

Ouch! Clint, You not only made me laugh my tail off, but shared my contempt for the genre! Thumbs up!

[@needfoolthings]

"Let's move on" he says, hair awry, eyes glossed over, like grandma explaining the flowers and the bees to a 19- year-old.

[@northropi2027]

It's like the authors recognized all the little miraculous things that could go wrong with these matches, but then decided that every match should end with a one-in-a-million shot to the extent that they no longer think of them as rare freak events but genuinely think that "whale accidentally slurps free-floating venomous animal straight into its respiratory system" and "Chuckwalla defense mechanism triggers seismic event" are actually the status quo. Edit: and, to be clear, uh, how to put this... The Walrus v. Sandtiger example is the peak of it. You know they went into that one with Great Whites taking out Seals in mind, happening to forget the scales are flipped in this example. So that too. And the amount if times they're wrong on a more basic level- these are bad books ok.

[@just_a_guy9688]

Nah, the author is probably just some average joe with very little knowledge in biology in general, who just pulls out some verrry basic facts about these animals, stuff that you'd read on some article on the internet, and decides to put them into a children's book, because children are dumb as hell.

[@killdozer7792]

The author is the same guy who thinks a pack of Velociraptors would beat a T. rex. He's also the same guy who thinks a Velociraptor pack consists of hundreds of individuals with the mentality and co-ordination of Asian giant hornets, when in reality it'd likely be a family group of about eight at a push and arguably the co-ordination of a typical bird of prey at most.

[@northropi2027]

@@killdozer7792 oh god not the eusocial dromaeosaurs

[@clairethompson5549]

Clint, you made it through more than I would have! The poison/venom thing is a huge pet peeve of mine. I received a very toothy kiss from one of my Ball Pythons last year (absolutely my error- don’t feed your snakes when you’re taking Benadryl, friends!) and popped into the clinic for antibiotics and the entire staff kept asking “are you sure it wasn’t poisonous?” Yes, I am, for several reasons…

[@Zuzu00000]

Oh my lord...

[@cutencurly9019]

This would have made me even more upset because they are medical staff who should know better 🙃

[@killdozer7792]

Just remember... If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous. If it bites you and it dies, you're poisonous. If it bites itself and you die, there's voodoo going on. If it bites you and the guy next to you dies, it's correlation (not causation). And if you and the guy next to you bite each other and neither of you die...it's probably kinky.

[@thatonepossum5766]

It’s everywhere- I was looking at a spell in Dungeons and Dragons a while back, and it said I could summon “a poisonous snake”. How useful. I get to pick from fewer than ten snakes.

[@clairethompson5549]

@@cutencurly9019 Exactly!! If anyone outside the hobby should get it right, it’s the people who can fix you if you’re envenomated!

[@marvalice3455]

I never read these books as a kid, but I did read similar things, and I vividly remember the feeling of betrayal when I would learn that what I had read was nonsense, sold to me because "who cares, it's for kids". If I ever have children, I'm going to do all in my power to makes sure nobody sells them nonsense that is completely unresearched

[@katiekane5247]

Prepare to be saddened by their textbooks.

[@marvalice3455]

@@katiekane5247 homeschooling, here we come!

[@Boskibro]

PLEASE DO THE OTHER ONE THIS WAS HILARIOUS

[@zlaynie]

😂😂😂 I haven't laughed this hard out loud in a LONG time. Your intellectual pain is so relatable. Thank you for this!!

[@mblehar]

Only Clint could say the statement "I'm experiencing physical pain" and follow it up with the ghost of a smile. Loved this video, Clint. Wonderful content, as always!

[@bronhaller]

I am struggling to watch this due to the pain this book is making me feel... but I am powering through in solidarity with you!

[@ClintsReptiles]

Thank you for going through this with me.

[@kalaherty]

I like to imagine that the book is based off either a pen and paper or card based role playing game. Some of the details before "the battle" are descriptions off the character cards, but the results were based off numerous rolls of dice and character stat checks.

[@allenkeith7160]

I genuinely love and adore his commentary and corrections

[@TacticusPrime]

Orca vs Sperm Whale would be a pretty interesting fight. Sperm whales often live in groups too, and if it grasped the orca and took it deep down...

[@Tareltonlives]

It happens in the wild between pods- the orcas go after the calves, and the adults circle up. It can get pretty fierce- I think the orcas retreated without casulaties the last time it happened.

[@unqualifiedtoast700]

Gigachad Man O' War Kills Orca Withdraws from competition Refuses to elaborate further

[@orvilpym]

The Magnus Carlsen of sea fights!

[@catmus1506]

I feel your pain. I'm a teacher and we have all this series at school. The kids love reading them, and I cringe every time.

[@hakojo]

Dear Owen: please keep bringing these books home - watching your dad get righteously indignant at them is top tier entertainment :D

[@jamestimmons6838]

This is the funniest video you have ever done! I enjoyed it just as much the second time!

[@conlon4332]

Winners according to Clint (based on who would kill the other): Walrus vs -------------> Walrus Sand Tiger Shark Narwhal vs -------------> Narwhal Torpedo Fish Orca vs -------------> Orca Sea Snake Man O' War vs -------------> Leatherback Turtle Leatherback Turtle Polar Bear vs -------------> Polar Bear Stonefish Saltwater Crocodile vs -------------> Giant Squid Giant Squid Great White Shark vs -------------> Great White Shark Giant Manta Ray Sailfish vs -------------> Sailfish Blue-Ringed Octopus I don't know who Clint would have win in Round 2 as he and the book disagreed so much that none of the Round 2 matchups are the same. It would be really cool though if he does decide to go through each round of the tournament with who he thinks would win!

[@azaanimations319]

I personally think… The narwhal beats the walrus. The orca devours the leatherback. The giant squid vs polar bear would be one hell of a fight, but I think the giant squid would eventually drown the poley. The great white devours the sailfish. In Round 3, the orca beats the walrus, and the great white gets a nice calamari meal. The orca kills the great white, and wins the whole thing.

[@TheFoxInABox]

It really feels like the book was just like venom wins over everything until they needed an excuse to take the venomous critters out to have an actual epic ending.

[@mortaltom]

I can hear the pain in his voice as he reads through this! Thank you for your sacrifice! You will be remembered.

[@itachi8822]

Clint just casually sitting next to one of the earth's most deadliest animals was the next funny thing 😂😂

[@lawrencecalablaster568]

I wasn’t aware of this channel, but this video was a lovely wedding present, thank you :)

[@kylemackinnon5696]

"Its a twist ending!" "That wasnt a twist, you just lied to us"

[@Megladden01]

Poor Clint. This was painful! I dont want Clint to go through this agony again, but I also want another scathing review. Those books deserve reality!

[@araptorjesus7305]

Listening to Clint lose his mind over this book made me laugh so hard my stomach said “ouch!”

[@needfoolthings]

Well. Y'lost, then.

[@PanthersGamingSessionYT]

Your reaction to the saltwater crocodile biting the stone fish was gold

[@NaRandall]

I don’t want to put you through this again but if you do make another one I’ll definitely watch