Co-Founder Conflict & Why I Quit my Startup | How to Fix a Dying Company | Founder’s Journey: Ep.2

[@mloneusk]

Garry, the reason why you couldn't sleep is cause you left your glasses on

[@GarryTan]

HAHAHA omg

[@elrosspangue7443]

😹😹

[@slimmette]

Lolol

[@mloneusk]

Hey Garry, hope you see this. I just sent you a message on LinkedIn

[@selloselomo6998]

​@@GarryTan3:58

[@gerard_donnelly]

"How did you become such a good leader?” someone asked Nelson Mandela. “Because I learned to speak last,” Mandela succinctly replied. Listening and letting others know you've taken on board what they've said is such a good trait. If you disagree, the fact that they know you understand their point of view is often enough to avoid a conflict.

[@GarryTan]

Absolutely. Great point

[@jefftatarchuk]

So good! My co-founders and I use a tool called the JAR (Judgments, Assumptions, Resentment). It's a safe space for us to share anything that might be in our JAR to share and get clarity from the rest of the team and be able to sort through it no matter how small or embarrassing it might be. We were growing so fast in the beginning that we needed these types of meetings regularly. Now it's sporadically but still necessary.

[@abhiglad]

Thanks for this video. I think a management lesson that founders need to learn is how to manage communication and conflict. A key lesson I learnt during an Organizational behavior class is to a) Have an open communication and address conflict for a relationship that matters, b) Avoid conflict if the relationship doesn’t matter in the long term. The issue with conflict avoidance is that it leads to bad precedent and organization going down a wrong path and setting harmful cultural practice. I love that you brought this to fore. Thanks for a critical conflict management lesson.

[@GarryTan]

Thank you for watching and for your thoughtful comment Abhishek!

[@Sankids]

I’m starting my first company at 27 in Thailand and your videos are my guidebook. Thanks man!

[@GarryTan]

Best of luck!

[@vanhelsing4454]

I just commented to feed the youtube algorithm 😁

[@GarryTan]

Legend!

[@vanhelsing4454]

@@GarryTan your videos are really helpful 🙂

[@hdhdushsvsyshshshs]

X2 🧐

[@motelejesuolamilekan1950]

KZbin algorithm here..just found and swallowed you👀

[@psykonauta]

Yeah!

[@AbielZulioM]

The fact that I love Garry Tan's channel so much is because he provided an English sub, which is helping me a lot to learn many new perspectives about startups. Love from Indonesia, keep up the excellent work, Garry!

[@GarryTan]

Thanks for watching!

[@cupertinosteve4771]

Thank you Garry. You’re such a great storyteller ... you experience, you reflect, you distill and you share. Such generosity. For me, I do have a company I run ... but every time you say “startup”, I hear “the startup of me” ... I just hear life lessons that are universal and lead to a meaningful life. It’s not just what you ... but how you do it, why you do it and who you do it with. Thank you.

[@GarryTan]

Thank you for your kind note

[@Aavanth88]

This hit the spot. Thank you. I recall these days from my own startup. We were 4 co-founders and two (majority shareholders) were going head to head all the time in the early days of the company. Everything was going well, we were making money, however, the future became so uncertain due to this conflict. At one point I proposed to moderate the conflict as a third party, after months of witnessing the conflict I knew that I was not able to outsmart them, but I could outcalm them. My sole focus became, offset the flow of panic between them, and the best way of doing this was through active listening and vicarious embodiment - trying to put myself in their space so that the other party had to listen through a vessel. It was by far the hardest part of my job but it worked. Sometimes the hardest discussions require the least amount of words, we have since made it a policy that all conflicts between executives are to be moderated by a third party. We call them empathy advisors and their only job is to offset flow of panic and outcalm parties when they become too heated.

[@helixquar]

The great thing about your content is even though they are framed in the context of a startup, a lot of concepts also apply to a lot of other things. This video is basically love/relationship advice.

[@himanshikushwahach7817]

2:18 ..here we go....exactly no matter how good things u want to keep in your startup..not choosing the correct co-founder will always ruin it

[@TheLastCodebender]

I have a heard a good analogy once, finding a cofounder is like marriage. Except you will spend more time with them than with your spouse, so take the time to choose wisely.

[@couragecoachsam]

So much of what you say is what my wife and I talk about with our clients. A sometimes advantage to our clients, entrepreneurial couples, is that they’ve already committed themselves to each other

[@ericllam]

I was skeptical clicking on this video but this is really good advice, having been in a 4 person founding team for 7 years now

[@raulcame3880]

This subject personally cannot be stressed enough... We are a young startup and I follow the 5Dysfunctions of a team religiously and even then conflict falls through the crack because I now know why ... I don’t confront them enough... Big Thanks Garry!

[@GarryTan]

Good luck Alfred!

[@WordsPictures997]

Garry YOU ARE SUCH A GIFT! Thank you so much for this. I really needed this. You've just called me out in such a helpful way in business and my personal life. Thank you Sir!

[@GarryTan]

You are so welcome

[@kristopherleslie8343]

So far the only conflicts I’ve had are with myself snd doubting my ideas have merit and value. I’ve pivoted by taking time to think about what matters to me and things I’ve managed to forget to handle. I took some time and I’ve slowly made myself accountable for other things and fix things out of order! That helped me get rejuvenated to get my ideas moving. Undoubtedly I’ve lost a lot of friends and family as of late so working through the depression and trying to still release my projects. Thanks for the inspiration!

[@godwinhschan]

Such an important message to get out there. I've already made the mistake of being conflict-avoidant in one of my earlier ventures, so these are some great tips to keep in mind moving forward.

[@barrywinata]

Great job on another valuable and cerebral video. Your insight into foundership and funding is priceless. I'm a founding engineer and part-time Angel here in SV with startup experience and thinking of now making the shift into investing and the VC world. Your insights are helping me bridge that gap.

[@GarryTan]

Thanks for your kind words Barry!

[@adamsmaase2581]

I’m standing on point X , just resigned from one on Friday after 4 years of building and no breathing ... painful lessons... too much conflict ( and no structures). You’re explaining is spot on for the symptoms.

[@andrewdunyo7427]

Gary, thank you so much for this. You are like a guardian angel.

[@GarryTan]

Thanks for watching!

[@rupjolly]

Great video as usual. I think every company like you said has some form of cofounder conflict. Building companies is tough with lots of pressure, sometimes our ideal selves don't always show up. I think you nailed it. More often than not, we don't get help and everyone suffers as a result. Thanks for bringing up the coaching piece

[@quixfilmz3409]

Reminds me of Mythbusters. Look up the relationship between Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage. While not friends, the things they achieved in the show are incredible

[@TheLastCodebender]

1:19 when he said "And when my business needed me and my cofounder the most" I thought he would follow up with "we vanished" (Avatar reference 😂)

[@n8style]

your videos are so good, they're gold dust, thank you for making them

[@GarryTan]

Thank you for watching!

[@TheAChal147]

Good insight Garry. I haven't experienced any of these yet with my co-founder, less than a year in, but I'm glad I have some tools to identify red flags now.

[@ibrand23]

Such an important point to work on these skills when things are going well and avoiding avoidance, this doesn't get talked about enough. Also, healthier to work on it when you are sober, not in the heat of the moment. Love the stories from experiences... so helpful!

[@MrJameskoo]

Strongly agree to the idea of getting external help. Having a mentor or coach in my startup journey help a lot!

[@GarryTan]

It takes a village...

[@naomiwilliams8850]

What's your start up?

[@MrJameskoo]

@@naomiwilliams8850 I am building a social commerce startup for Food & Beverages

[@mirhasanzade7383]

Summing up whole content: The key is communication!

[@dogarumarius3490]

One of the most insightful videos I have seen in a long while. Brilliant work! Keep these coming - I absolutely love your style & your way of thinking.

[@GarryTan]

Awesome, thank you!

[@makeaniiimpactYT]

This is so important in just regular human to human interaction.

[@dominicwood3750]

I don’t see the infatuation with needing a founding team. In business there’s always one person at the top.

[@amorosogombe9650]

This is so true. I have experienced this and now I feel I prefer to work solo.

[@IdowuObadeyi]

Goodness gracious! This is so true for ALL FACETS OF LIFE. Thanks man!

[@GarryTan]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@HeyGeorgeHere]

Investor: Do you have too much or too little conflict with your cofounder? Founder: Both.

[@GarryTan]

Haha this is so true.

[@this.is.lapc506]

Depends on who you ask.

[@naki6355]

This is hilariously accurate. More often than not, it's too little conflict in the large, key decisions and too much conflict with the lower priority tasks.

[@yeeboy217]

thank you for sharing this; this video came to me in an extremely relevvant time, I started a little company/ business with a friend in december of last year... and a lot of these conflict questions and misalignment in vision between founders has been cropping up. I'm not sure what the future holds, but this video gave me good framework for what questions to be asking. thanks for sharing the story and lessons with us Garry! all the best -Rafif

[@GarryTan]

You can get this right. It takes work but you’ve got this.

[@yeeboy217]

@@GarryTan thanks, even if it does not work out or it fails i will learn a lot ... but i will try to make it work and use some of the strategies you propose. thanks!

[@ebrahimmoamer9198]

Thank you Garry for the really priceless content and videos you create. It is really hard to miss one.

[@GarryTan]

Thanks for watching!

[@omarashrafhassan]

If more people adopt the steel man technique when they are resolving team conflicts, the world would be in a greater place! People will feel that they will be heard and that they don't need to be over defensive!! Thanks, Garry for this great content! I include your videos as part of my additional videos/readings for my Business Management courses at Duke!

[@GarryTan]

Thank you Omar!!

[@stevekiarie2001]

Great insights. Really appreciated. You've made me see the four horsemen in a new way. 🙏

[@ghaffarellis]

I had to watch this twice, thank you.

[@sandboxes]

This is exactly one of the issues with first startup. And loved the call out to Gottman! Has helped in my marriage, and would have been so useful in my cofounder relationship :) Thank you for sharing these videos!

[@GarryTan]

Thanks for watching!

[@lunchroomballer]

The type of video I flag to rewatch every few weeks

[@Jsmith1611]

As always Garry dropping the knowledge. This will def help me as a PM work with my developers and stakeholders.

[@GarryTan]

Thanks for watching!

[@a9xz]

Great Video! The Information Is Crystal Clear, Cut's Straight Within Any Fluff.

[@ketnaa]

Some amazing and (for me) revelatory insights. Thank you!

[@foodforyourbrainphyophyoaung]

I used to have this issues with my co founder.

[@GarryTan]

I think the trick is to always have the *right amount* of conflict in the *right way* :-)

[@wowcowba]

Hey Gary, thanks for sharing this. Being through the tough time.

[@Sanjeed]

Thanks for the insights and for being really honest here ❤️

[@ChiCho1400]

Brilliant advice as always. Thank you Garry!

[@GarryTan]

Thank you!

[@motelejesuolamilekan1950]

Love, Garry, from Nigeria, thanks

[@valcatt5975]

Great video! Be clear from the start about the vision and goal of the company...

[@AverageAngel]

It seems our society is now conflict avoidant. I wonder how that’s going to affect relationships

[@GarryTan]

It’s not good to be sure

[@DwaynedPearce]

Mn this channel is amazing I subscribed a week ago and I already feel more certain about what I should do next. Thanks a lot and please keep sharing.

[@MarcusChaiT_T]

Commented for the algorithm too. I love your videos, ur channel deserves more.

[@gjbaan2860]

just came across your videos and i am very glad i did! catching up on all your videos. great insights, knowledge sharing, your honest and calming manner are great attributes. cannot wait for the next video to be shared by you!

[@prakash_77]

Making sure I watch all post-roll ads in this video to support Code2040. Might I suggest to change the "http" to "https". HTTPS Everywhere blocks by default. Thank you.

[@cocoarecords]

a gem among the channels

[@einmann3252]

As a tech entrepreneur I find your videos very valuable. Do you have a podcast? I would really like to listen through while doing something else. Thanks man.

[@GarryTan]

I don't

[@adroithut4590]

We will work meticulously soon Garry!

[@michaelolajide3914]

Thank for this wonderful piece, Garry.

[@GarryTan]

Thank you Michael!

[@ismxil]

Thanks for doing this Gary!

[@MinimalDuck]

Just listened to you on Clubhouse and totally relate with you! I just started on KZbin Jan 1st.

[@blacksablier4891]

Thank you so much Garry 🙏!

[@GarryTan]

Thanks for watching!!

[@gaurmmec]

I needed this...i m going thru this right now..Thanks

[@itsyourtoy]

People. He legit acted for this. That's commitment to us the audience.

[@Wj3399]

This is valuable, thanks Garry! Finding a cofounder sounds like starting a startup within a startup, just as much risk, execution, and high chance of failure. Would you advise a solo founder to seek out a cofounder if no one comes in mind, or continue going solo if the task juggling is not a problem? Thanks again!

[@jacquib256]

Did he reply as I’m in same position

[@rightright6582]

Wow. Thank u for sharing what we go thru.

[@GarryTan]

You are so welcome

[@MrKeithRokz]

Thanks for this video. I need this now. Have a great day! Garry !

[@DerDudelino]

Man, your video quality is crazy good. Could you maybe show how you shoot and especially light your videos? Would be super helpful.

[@GarryTan]

Oh sure my gear list is kit.co/garrytan

[@imranahmed-gt8ct]

Love your videos Garry . Very informative for us aspiring entrepreneurs

[@will-ye]

Binge watching your videos before I quit my job at Amazon to join Cohere lol

[@gamedaycanvasf1]

this is very helpful....thank you

[@adityamotla8903]

Thanks Garry 🔥❣️

[@jamesclerkmaxwell8020]

I have a secret formula to avoid all co-founder conflict. Being a solo founder. The dispute between opposing ideas may still be there, but in your head only

[@kohsinyee]

Thanks for sharing!

[@ashadeepbaruah8936]

Thank you, Garry

[@pradhumnkanase8381]

Thank you Garry!

[@33mememememe]

"Would you stop interrupting me while I am interrupting you!!" 🤣 priceless!!! As always.... awesome video 📹!!!

[@kwazimnyandu9074]

Another good content. Thank you. RSA - Johannesburg.

[@GarryTan]

Thank you for watching?

[@yuqin9912]

This is another video that I would like old me to watch.

[@zb3734]

man, that was some good acting. you're a regular james galdofini

[@justthej]

Thanks for this video. Very timely. ❤️

[@wunder1385]

I've seen you on the clubhouse thing with Elon!

[@Elena-yk7ne]

this was so so helpful! Thank you!!!

[@ChoogyNet]

Like in a family, i think lesser internal conflict is always better

[@GarryTan]

Not always though. I think the right conflict at the right time.

[@tirtoadji]

Garry, thanks for delivering such great content, as always. How's your relationship with your ex-cofounder now? Do you still communicate? Are you guys still friends?

[@GarryTan]

We are good now

[@mysticjaarse]

Thank you very much sir!! 🙏🙏

[@jasoneks]

Hi Gary, another great video 👍 especially the intro, i didnt know you act well 😁 👍🙏

[@GarryTan]

Haha too kind

[@BeeRich33]

Looks like I'm closing my startup. My friend/partner simply doesn't get it. And he's taking it personally.

[@jaiv]

Make a video about Clubhouse! I've seen you in some conversations with some very influential people and I'm curious what you're doing there (I'm sure others are too)!

[@MoreCompute]

"When the business needed me and my co-founder the most... we vanished" ;)

[@MatheusCaetano0]

Brazil here!!

[@GarryTan]

Bem-vinda!

[@WarrenPougnetOne]

Thank you for the advice Garry. Just curious, was the bell sound a wink to wow?

[@erikvenegas5688]

Needed this video thank you!!

[@rendelx]

Really solid video and information

[@fernandoluiz8850]

Excellent content as always

[@GarryTan]

Thanks Fernando!

[@MdAshrafurRahman]

Helpful !!

[@GarryTan]

Glad it was helpful!

[@hometechkh]

Another great content 💕

[@Olalentrepreneur]

Great Content Garry

[@GarryTan]

Thank you!!

[@Khodam101]

As I’m listening thinking, It also can apply to any relationship😅