Coffee and Crime Time: Bianca Devins

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The Bianca Michelle Devins Memorial Scholarship Fund has been established by the Devins/Williams family to provide scholarships to students pursuing a degree in psychology so they can continue Bianca’s dream to help adolescents with mental illness.
You can contact the fund at: Bianca Michelle Devins Memorial Scholarship Fund, c/o The Community Foundation of Herkimer & Oneida Counties, 2608 Genesee St., Utica, NY 13502
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[@LinaIsNotANoob]

Is no one else going to point out that he was an adult, who killed a teenager for not dating him?

[@chocolatemilk5589]

Lina IsNotANoob Yep! The difference is that he was a grown man, someone who should have been mentally developed and mature enough to understand what he was doing was wrong, and the consequences of his actions. The other is a teenage girl, still figuring out her life and growing. She was problematic but that’s how teens are, stupid and young. We all do dumb things as kids but we eventually mature and grow into functioning adults. She didn’t deserve to die because some dude got his feelings hurt. She still had so much to learn about life and herself. It’s not right and it’s not fair that he thought he had the right to take that away from her. I don’t care what anyone says, she was NOT the one at fault.

[@LinaIsNotANoob]

@SuzN It's not a "story" it's a real life event. Saying that discussing it "ruins the suspense" downplays the actual events and person who lost their life. Also maybe you shouldn't be looking at the discussion of the case if you haven't finished the video.

[@iiGORO333]

@SuzN yikes. That comment exudes social perceptions that you should have evaluated

[@LinaIsNotANoob]

@@Veronica-nj9ep His attraction to an underraged girl to the point that he murdered her is gross, whether or not it was a contributing factor to the murder itself. Also murders can have multiple causes and contributing factors.

[@ihatemickiegee]

Lina IsNotANoob I think their point was simply that his predatory attraction was disturbing enough in itself, not that the case was disturbing just because of that factor, or that it was the only reason it happened or something. The same point you reiterated- I think it you just incorrectly interpreted it is all

[@lilywilson4839]

They need to stop calling her his girlfriend that’s exactly what he would want. she was not his girlfriend he’s delusional

[@vibe_oli]

Bella Wilson yes! Thank you. It’s extremely irritating. She was not his girlfriend, she didn’t want to be with him. His delusions of ownership over her was so gross. He killed her because he couldn’t have her and he thought she owed it to him to be with him because he was a “nice guy.” 🙅‍♀️ A self proclaimed “nice guy” is actually the worst. Nice people don’t have to say how nice they are, they just are nice.....well rant over. Bottom line she wasn’t his girlfriend and she told him multiple times. He was just a gross, evil man.

[@sup8437]

Hes not delusional. Hes wrong. Ones a symptom of a disability and one is something that happens to everyone. Stop confusing them.

[@vibe_oli]

Sup symptom of what disability? She told him multiple times that she didn’t have those feelings for him. So him having any other idea about it is a delusion. Don’t make excuses for a senseless murder. I’m not talking about other people, I’m talking about him in particular. A delusion is an idiosyncratic belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality or rational argument. She told him to his face she didn’t like him, she kissed another boy, and he still believed she belonged to him. Mental disorder or illness is not an excuse to murder a young woman so horribly and posting the pictures so publicly. This is just another example of a man who’s ego was hurt because a girl didn’t like him and he wanted her. Tale as old as time to be honest. I’m just sick of articles or people saying she was his girlfriend. She wasn’t HIS in anyway. That is what I was talking about. Also him having that knife is premeditated. He may not have been planning to kill her that exact day, but that shows that he thought about it. In his mind if he couldn’t have her, no one could.

[@sup8437]

@@vibe_oli of psychosis. A disability that's not associated with people murdering others. I'm not making excuses for murder, I'm asking for yall to not be ableist. Delusions are "I'm in a simulation" or "my teacher put cameras in my mirrors" not "oo this hot girl must like me"

[@theegrach]

right? that guy was a creep that got turned down.

[@lilly8305]

I remember when this first happened and there were a bunch of comments saying that "she should have seen it coming". Who expects to get brutally murdered and having their corpse be exploited on the internet?

[@kf10126]

Yeah. We don't see this stuff coming. I was nearly killed in 2018, still hoping am investigation results in any charges. I've had to FIGHT just to get the investigation going. This person was someone I was in a relationship with and was having issues, it was ending for good, but I never in a million years thought they would try to murder me, in my sleep, by sticking 3 fentanyl patches on my back and hips. I'm still traumatized by that! Never expected that, nor the insane cover story he had for it. Some people are just really messed up people. I unfortunately got entangled with one of them. Scared of that guy forEVER.

[@JeSuisDeTexas]

@@kf10126 dear god I'm so sorry that monster did that to you. thank goodness you're still with us! hoping for justice for you

[@Xavelite00]

@@kf10126 if you cheated on him you had it coming, you got lucky hes a tard otherwise you'd have gotten biancad LMFAO #getbiancad

[@kf10126]

@@Xavelite00first, NO ONE deserves that. Not for freaking cheating! I've been cheated on by many men, I didn't think they needed to die for that. This one, he was on drugs, getting really crazy, became someone else. I never cheated on that guy. Never even thought to. I'm pretty sure he wasn't cheating on me either, but he was home A LOT there at the end at said he was trying to figure out his business taxes. I really don't think he was being honest with me. I was married to this guy, we were together for a total of 13 years, 14 is you count the divorce wait time, but I don't.

[@Xavelite00]

@@kf10126 well I hope you find happiness you seem like a genuinely nice person

[@megan1445]

How anyone could possibly judge this poor teenager. Im 32 and when I look back at things I've done growing up, I cringe. I don't even recognise that person now. That was version 1 of myself and now I'm version 2. People should be allowed to live life, make mistakes and grow as an individual. This is just beyond horrific what she endured and her life taken. Rest in peace beautiful x

[@nohandlesforme101]

And some idiots say things like,"Oh women mature earlier at around 14/15, so they should know better." or "Back then women married at 15 and sometimes younger." it infuriates me.

[@sarahbarabe8470]

News flash: getting your poor precious wittle feelings hurt because a girl doesn't like you back doesn't give you the right to KILL HER 🙃

[@marieeiram7061]

Perfectly said!

[@acewithasmile]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/q4nNaWqtlNGSb5I

[@bobthejamsandwich5335]

I hate this sort of mentality. He was clearly driven insane by what I assume is severe depression. It’s not that he was mad because he got rejected. It was that he felt that he had no hope, and he valued romantic relationships so highly that he felt he had nothing to live for. He was a victim of his own mind, and sadly I believe many of us are going down the same, dangerous path.

[@acewithasmile]

bobthejamsandwich meh watch the video

[@donaDsejdiu793]

It's true If someone doesn't like you move on and don't be possessive.You'll find someone you like.

[@yoyoland8461]

Parents are quick to take credit when their children grow up to be doctors, but refuse to take responsibility when they grow up to be murderers. *this comment has made people so emotional. If you don’t believe parents are responsible for their children’s ultimate demise that’s fine, but don’t congratulate them when their child ends up being a doctor either. Parents have nothing to do with it. You can’t have both ways.

[@cubancucumber]

Real shit

[@melissam597]

Let’s be real, toxic people are usually created by toxic parenting

[@niqerfaguettranykyke]

Same goes for this girl. Just think about it, where were her parents during this time when she contacted these grown men? That's the least thing you would let a child with her issues do, no?

[@user-uf7ve4sr4r]

@@niqerfaguettranykyke yes i'm sure SHE was the one contacting THEM

[@niqerfaguettranykyke]

@@user-uf7ve4sr4r Grown men shouldnt have contacted her, that's for sure. Unless she made them do it by lying her age, possibly?

[@outlandishmccandlish3873]

We as parents need to teach young men to not feel entitled to a relationship with a young lady. I have two adult sons and I worked really hard to help them understand that a young lady doesn't own them anything.

[@Aster_Risk]

Yep. Instead the responsibility is often placed on women to "prevent" assaults and abuse. 😡🙄

[@CynicalBastard]

Woman don't take much responsibility in the relationship department. Both men and woman think they no what they are doing, like there are determined set of rules, but there aren't, and they are fooling themselves. They believe myths, and social mores, are the reality the live in- the reality is more like they just do what they believe is "allowed", "correct", and they believe that society functions for their needs, from the top down, you could say, monetarily, in terms of order, a "civil society" entails this procedure, and then, from the bottom up, they think men and woman just simply "function" as they must- when this was never reality- the reality isn't that society bares us more responsible functions to our nature, it's more that it bares us more responsible for *it's functions* and therefore creates the illusion of such machinations. The illusion, that term is used loosely, I don't mean these "realities" aren't in themselves experienced, of course they are, but dare I say, men aren't the only people out there with problems...just look at this long-winded post...is this strange? not to me, I like writing, especially me...but this is the point: there is a vast array of problems...men and woman share some...some only one or the other group respectively will encounter, and thus, making it harder for us altogether to realize these differences, which makes it hard to discern who is fault. Which person, which group, for exceptionally dense or sometimes very thin [and seemingly superficial] things, can be taken in so many different directions, you never know what the reactions can be; and this is why society is comforting, after a fashion...this is why you don't generally want to be "weird" or "off-putting", "creepy", so many confounding things to "placate" society in it's apprehensions, the people in it simply unsure of when something may go too far, or when something is merely "experimental" [unexperienced, or merely some quibble that is an anomaly]. It's fine to place expectations on society, but as people grow, they tend to take to these developments, and it goes without saying, really, that they begin to develop, themselves, within these very "developments" of society, in other words, it becomes a part of them, until it's too late to be rid of the delusion of some behavior or some pursuit, or some belief, or some inclination, and one finds themselves in "hot water", as it were. To some such things do not impinge on their daily lives, maybe never becomes an issue- to others, this confounds them to the point where they take anomalous actions as a means to either complete a circuit involved in some belief structure that they pertain to within the societies structure itself, or as a means to "rebel" against that system that they see as having betrayed them, being that they feel that they are a "part of it", a system which "led them on". This is impartial to a persons psychological state, this is just consciousness and language, and emotions, the human condition, but, add volatility, or confusion, that is, with social media culture, the denigration of language into a means to endless quibbles online in the pursuit of glorification, and many other things...contribute to a society who's people are threadbare and numb, pointless and confused, torn up inside, discarded, maligned, disturbed, sometimes.

[@largeautomobile]

@@CynicalBastard ok incel

[@CynicalBastard]

No. You shouldn't use that word all willy-nilly, you know...it's mean and hurts my feelings.

[@summer-joy2873]

I kinda don't think people murder cuz their parents FORGOT to teach them to respect the lives of other humans. Some people are just fucked up, your mom shouldn't have to tell you that women don't deserve to be treated like less than you. I'm pretty sure human decency is common sense and this person is just fucked up.

[@jonathanbundrick4712]

If she told him she wasn't interested in him in a romantic way..she didn't lead him on..she was frank with him. He just refused to take no for an answer, which is horrible in itself..

[@chicade4810]

If she said she isn't interested and he said "ok" but when they hang out it clearly isn't, that's the girl's cue to get the fuck out of there. She knew he was jealous of her being around other guys (I doubt the day she died is the only time he acted like a jealous lil bitch), and if he wasn't going to back off then she needed to.

[@Khaleesi_Of_Kittens]

Exactly.

[@babe7138]

@@chicade4810 no. men are so weirdly entitled to women it’s scary. she said no i’m not interested it’s not her fault he couldn’t get the fuck over it it’s not her job to coddle a grown ass man ???

[@chicade4810]

@@babe7138 Exactly, it isn't her job to coddle him. So when he continued to show jealousy and act like a jerk, she should've cut him off instead of continuing to use him for rides, money, drugs, etc. She played with fire and got burned, hence why I engourage younger girls to NOT do this. Distance yourself from men and women like this dude, because it isn't gendered either.

[@cybernokc]

@@chicade4810 naw, distance yourself from murderers

[@bayleebrowning9720]

Dude every teenager makes questionable relationship choices. People blaming her deserve to get punched in the face

[@adoringsharon]

You know, I see a disappointing amount of people justifying Bianca’s murder by listing a few of the questionable things she did in life. But the thing is she was a child. She wasn’t even 18 yet. She did not have the time to grow and learn. Yes, Bianca may have done some bad things, but we all have. That doesn’t make us bad people, and it definitely does not mean we deserve to die, especially how she did.

[@itsthenewsouth]

Agreed! I am close friends with Rachel Wade who was only a year older when her 'crime' was committed, still a child. She made mistakes like all of us as teens, but not murder. It was self defense in full accordance with FL self defense statutes to they found an empty threat on a 7 month old voicemail to 'prove' otherwise. She's already lost 10 years of her life with 17 more to go, it's time she came home.

[@teeleemusicthugbilly9887]

ayy fuckin men

[@oliviasnow9662]

True but it’s just one of those mistakes that’s Fatal

[@Dvgteeth]

We all did stupid shit as teenagers. I was horrible at that age. Most of us get the chance to learn and grow. Bianca’s chance to do that was taken from her.

[@SpecialBlanket]

I definitely did worse. I've had to go back and reach out to people I dated at that age (NOT saying they were dating) and apologize. We all do the best we know how at the time.

[@hannahherrera4003]

I just want ppl to STOP saying he was her boyfriend, I've read it countess times in articles about this case. He was NOT her boyfriend. May she rest in peace.

[@goldenboy1984]

i was so confused cos a „normal“ gf doesn’t just kiss a random guy at a concert while being with her „bf“. he pretty much just fantasised her being his girl, that’s fucked up man

[@ApatheticBlogger]

Agree hard. I had the unfortunate pleasure of joining that discord. He wasnher stalker.

[@danielcalli3859]

It was her Boyfriend

[@pettiestofbettys]

@@danielcalli3859 he literally wasnt... and thats according to the killer himself

[@maddie8415]

Just a note about the "leading a guy on" thing...there are guys who will claim a girl "led him on" if she literally gave him the time of day. Regarding the "sad" music...it actually can feel really good to listen to sad music when you already are very down yourself. It makes you feel like you're not the only one feeling that way. Actually, when you listen to it and really feel it it's a way of letting it out and you feel better after. I really don't think anyone would do this unless part of it felt "good".

[@g0dhatesemma]

"dont come for me, im in my 30s, i dont know" lmao we love stephanie talking about herself as if she was a grandma

[@Stormy_69]

I know, right? She sounded like a real boomer when she said that! 😋 And I'm older than her too, but having a twenty two year old son keeps me in the loop.

[@sierratree93]

I'm in my 20s, and I don't even know about all of that stuff. To me that's more of a red flag about Brandon since was in his 20s and was trying to hang around literal children.

[@haltestelle793]

8:40

[@MotherOfWednesday]

I am in my late 30's. When she said that I was like "same, girl"

[@vict4451]

I say the same thing to my nieces. They give me a look then go back and tell me what they were saying in a language I can understand.

[@morganshaddix]

When you said “my 18 year old daughter.” I legit nearly popped an eyeball 🤣🤣 you don’t look old enough to have an 18 year old. Love the video as always, keep em coming xx

[@satuhiltunen9254]

Ikr, she looks so young! Absolutely stunning!

[@Hellalala]

Dude SHE looks like an 18 year old daughter

[@MajorasCat]

WHAT I thought she was my age and I’m 26!!!

[@bambi7563]

Morgan Lacey lmao right. I think she’s a young mom tho. She said she’s in her 30s so she had to be 21 or younger when she had her daughter if her daughters 18, but I doubt she’s 39 so I’m sure she was even younger than 21. I’m guessing she was like 18-19 when she had her daughter which would make her around 36

[@bambi7563]

Morgan Lacey wait the more I look at her the more she doesn’t look her age. You can definitely tell she’s at least in her mid thirties. She does look younger at first glance tho

[@Vespii.]

PS. Not every girl knows when a guy is interested, we might have 'maybe' thoughts but we never truly know until you tell us. Same goes both ways.

[@cractus5137]

Ikr, and like why would you even think about someone being interested in you when you're not interested in them? I've just learned to assume that with most guys that approach me, they want one thing and I try not to have any kind of contact.

[@glass4breakfast]

I’m a guy. I agree. N yet the battle of the sexes rages on the internet.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

I use to think this friend of mine really liked me...then I asked him to homecoming and realized he was just a nice person who was a tad bit awkward...our friendship never recovered :/

[@Almighty_DarkLord]

Ikr, now every time a girl friend gets too close I'm all like oh noo is she interested in me how do I most politely refuse without hurting them

[@countryasjed1690]

Well if it wasn't obvious to you, if your Ex is always trying to spend time with you he likely still wants you. Is that one really that hard to detect?

[@rxxrcousin]

If a boy claims he is okay with just being friends and keeps giving a girl gifts, that’s on HIM. She doesn’t owe him anything when she already set the boundary at just friendship. If he agrees to it, that is his responsibility, not her.

[@secretwhispersasmr8259]

She literally had sex with him. What boundaries would that be exactly? Friends with benefits? 🤣

[@rxxrcousin]

@@secretwhispersasmr8259 I'm talking about when they were broken up.

[@Newest_editsjustbecause]

@@secretwhispersasmr8259 even sex doesn't mean they have to commit themselves to you. She didn't want to be with him, period, and he needs to accept that, even if they get physical.

[@secretwhispersasmr8259]

@@rxxrcousin they had sex directly before he killed her. What is your point

[@secretwhispersasmr8259]

@@Newest_editsjustbecause she had sex with him directly before he killed her. So you can say whatever you want about it, having sex is by no means setting friendship boundaries and is absolutely leading someone on.

[@harleewilkinson4287]

I can’t imagine someone saying a child deserved to die because a boy was obsessed, that is so sad 😔

[@StephanieHarlowe]

harlee wilkinson they have...

[@harleewilkinson4287]

It’s really sad, and awful to hear. I know at 17 I did a lot of crap that my parents warned me against, no one deserves what he did to her

[@msleighfawnduh]

@@fletcherfredrickjr6973 go fuck yourself you victim blaming sicko

[@Minycart]

@@fletcherfredrickjr6973 you look like the guy from the game "Hello Neighbor" en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hello_Neighbor Look

[@Deenique16]

@@Minycart lol he deleted his comment

[@jordansunix-basedmachine5222]

So, a minor correction I want to make. Teenage girls desire friendship like anyone else. If someone *lies* by saying they are okay being friends, that is on them. Its not leading someone on to remain friends with them after they say they want to be friends. I agree that girls should be cognizant that people lie, and not take people at face value. My main objection is the notion that "girls just like attention" from boys/men they aren't even interested in. A generalization that is both inaccurate and frankly sexist in my opinion. I didn't enjoy it when I was growing up. It wasn't fun for me to find out that someone I thought was my friend actually had ulterior motives. It wasn't fun being blamed for other peoples feelings.

[@mastermonke1177]

Well in biancas case it was true

[@jordansunix-basedmachine5222]

@@mastermonke1177 I am not sure if there is evidence of that. Its been awhile since I have watched the video, though.

[@mastermonke1177]

Jordan's Unix-based Machine kzbin.info/www/bejne/rZS9gYSgjr-aeKM

[@jordansunix-basedmachine5222]

@@mastermonke1177 Can you give a time stamp? Not looking to watch 11 minutes. Even if it is true in Bianca's case, it shouldn't be treated as a "something all teenage girls do " thing.

[@kortneyknop4864]

Very well said, thank you for your voice!

[@geneva8073]

its heartbreaking that the men she was 'leading on' were preying on her as a young vulnerable girl and yet people have the nerve to say it was her own fault for a jealous mans actions. she was 17 years old and probably struggling with trauma and all of these creeps knew that and took advantage of it and believed she should belong to them :( i hope she rests in peace

[@greyescape6601]

An underage junkie lying about her age on /soc/ to blackmail older guys for drug money is so vulnerable and innocent :(

[@daisymeow5143]

@@greyescape6601 awww and im sure those random older men that u care so compassionately about were such angels that didnt deserve to be manipulated awwww poor little incels :'(

[@greyescape6601]

It’s /soc/ you dumbass. Not where incels hang out. If you read the recent Rolling Stone article about her, you’ll see she met her ex on /soc/ that she made illegal sex vids with.

[@SharpieTheBlack]

HtxAlexander03 at the end of the day she’s a teenage girl and you’re adults trying to some now justify her being brutally murdered. It’s not like she’s some drug lord ruining people’s lives? She barely graduated high school. Whatever the hell she did online will never compare to murder or sending gory photos to family and friends. Do not reproduce.

[@lovedancingxoxoxoxo9843]

geneva exactly .. mom should have watched her better being borderline .. shame on her

[@blahblah1287]

Listening to depressing music as a depressed person saved me as a teenager honestly, hearing my feelings be described by someone else helped me feel less alone.

[@TessaGrimes]

17:04 As someone who has dealt with depression and PTSD while growing up, music with heavy subjects that would make a neurotypical person feel very sad was usually relieving for me. To me it always felt like the artist was saying "you're not alone, i know it's hard but we will hang on together". . For example, when I first heard Dodie's song Guiltless, I cried. Not because I was stuck in a box of depression, but because I was relieved someone that I looked up to was able to capture my thoughts and feelings in lyrical form so well. I felt seen, and like my thoughts and feelings were valid and okay. Like if she got through it all, I can do it too. . Stephanie's remarks reminded me of my mom, who also never understood the point of sad music or stuff with deep or depressing lyrics. I understand why neurotypical people would feel disturbed by the things that we go through. For neurotypicals, it's a big shock to be dunked under the water with depressing lyrics. For us with mental illness(es), it's often comforting.

[@tq7821]

yes.

[@mischr13]

I feel seen just by this comment

[@Enysum]

Can second this. It's sort of like solidarity - like someone else has the guts to admit that life sucks sometimes and help articulate complicated moods. I have songs on my phone that pretty accurately describe some traumatic things I went through in the past, and while even now I don't think I've finished processing those times, it sort of helps me lead my brain through those times in a more controlled manner and timeframe if I'm already stuck in the headspace for thinking about it. (I don't recommend that for everybody - I do not do this with time periods that would make me flash back too hard. YMMV) If used correctly, it can totally help process something you're going through, and honestly even neurotypical people do this to a degree. Crying is a process that lets your body pretty literally vent stress hormones such as cortisol, so if you feel stressed and "need to cry but can't", it can be convenient to have songs you know will help you with that. It can also totally be used as a form of self-harm, but I think a lot of parents mistake kids listening to edgy/dark songs as "turning their kid depressed" instead of a way for a depressed kid to help understand and vent their own moods.

[@ee7619]

I am also diagnosed with MDD and PTSD, but those disorders don’t make you not neurotypical. What defines being atypical neurologically are innate perceptual changes. PTSD and MDD are technically curable, so they are not considered atypical facets, neurologically.

[@TessaGrimes]

@@ee7619 Interesting! I wasn't aware of that. However, the point of my comment is less about what defines a neurotypical person and more about how people with mental illnesses find comfort in things that can frighten or disturb mentally healthy people.

[@ronbee8525]

We need to spend less time telling girls they're in the wrong and "leading them on" for trying to be friends with guys and more time condemning guys for not taking no for an answer and imposing the kind of relationship they want on those girls in spite of the boundaries she's put down.

[@HT.100]

people already know what's right and wrong. You should spend your time doing something more productive

[@gRinchY-op5vr]

@TheDoubleLibra most people do try to teach their kids not to do either, its just when someone is murdered by a jealous friend some people will always jump to say "that person shouldn't have led the other on" like its a reasonable motive. Sometimes all someone has to do is "just want to be friends" and still be accused of leading someone on

[@skzfeels1849]

people are so slow. i’m sure you said “less time” and not “no time”. Obviously you should teach for them not to lead anyone on but more so, learn to take no for a fucking answer and move on with your life instead of letting it dwell and take over.

[@TruthFaced]

@tomorrow Yet you just made a comment that shows you think she's shitty. You're blaming this girl for her death

[@helloworld3943]

@TheDoubleLibra He was a grown ass man and she was a teenager. Also, the world always tells girls to keep shit in check. If a girl doesn't like you, move on. That's your fault for sticking around

[@annamatcha8047]

Stephanie is literally my favorite youtuber she’s like the cool mom that everyone wants to hang out with

[@StephanieHarlowe]

Awww!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[@mandyrain1437]

I know, I just wanna watch Investigation Discovery with her😂

[@ashkobivl9075]

Lord steph. You don’t understand depression at all clearly. Not everyone is the same as you. Sad music brings me back up. It helps me feel my emotions and deal with them. Or express how I feel when I can’t make words. Nicole’s music has helped so many people.

[@taberlangley]

Exactly

[@jdh3468]

Yeah there were several segments in this video that were cringe. Who cares what the content of the music was like? It didn’t contribute to her murder. And she ends with “don’t come at me”

[@bellebaez]

That’s understandable but you know the music you listen to plays a part in how you see life.. rap makes a lot of people happy and what not but it’s not a good idea to be listening to that considering it’s something negative you are surrounding yourself around

[@ashkobivl9075]

@@bellebaez nope. It makes me happy??? Y’all don’t get that. Not everything that makes you upbeat makes other people upbeat.

[@bellebaez]

@@ashkobivl9075 as I said, regardless of how happy it makes you, its not healthy to listen to being you are surrounding yourself around negative music it doesn’t matter if it makes you the happiest person in the world.

[@annie_xo]

“Girls can tell when a guy is into them” I wish I did lol. I’ve been in some really awkward situations because I’m completely oblivious to stuff like that unless they literally say it straight up to my face.

[@chicade4810]

You should pay more attention to/learn more about how the people around you act. Perhaps the statement should be "Observant girls can tell when a guy is into them"

[@soph_f16]

@@chicade4810 some people just can't tell dude, it's not up to us to immediately know unless the guy says they like us because like guys, we can't read minds either. But when we say specifically we aren't interested, then it's the guy's responsibility to back tf off.

[@nikki.nikkiF]

I used to be like that too when I was a teen, I never knew until they said something😅

[@Psyopcyclops]

Well she did know, because she literally had sex with him, then rubbed it in saying “he ain’t shit” and “had sex with 6 other guys”. She knew what she was doing.

[@Psyopcyclops]

@@soph_f16 TODAY XANS i've had sex W 6 guys including you, when we first met up until the day we met i was with multiple guys and didn't even remember your name, i had to search it up in our discord history before meeting you. i wanted to ghost u but i found out u were crazy bc u called me on a blocked number you were literally nothing until the day we met i could've replaced you in seconds but Oxy Ok Cool XANS it just b like that now

[@aurorabonney721]

I personally feel this was 110% premeditated. He knew he was going to be taking her to meet another guy. I believe he was hoping that when he met her, she would decide she wanted to be with him and not the person he was taking her to meet. When things didn't go how he had planned in his mind, that sealed the deal for him. He had the weapon ready, and took her life.

[@cameronhicks1115]

Even if that is how It played out, it does not guarantee a spared life. Because what would happen if later down the road she decided that she didn't want to be with him anymore? More than likely, he would act out again. He had a lingering urge to kill..it would have happened sooner or later.

[@mbb--]

Yep. I agree with everything you stated here.

[@thesunnyleo]

“I don’t know, I’m in my 30’s” lol I don’t know either Stephanie and I’m 24😂

[@Lozenge95]

Breanna xoxo omg me too and I’m 24 how funny I was just thinking that and saw your comment! 🤣😂

[@mscookie3613]

That makes three of us 😅

[@StephanieHarlowe]

😂😂😂 thanks for making me feel less out of touch

[@reptilequeen4720]

I am 24 too and I think I just explained it to someone super wrong 😂😂 I gave up in the middle trying to explaining what an e girl is because idk either I only know what a VSCO girl is barley 😅😂

[@shellibingle7793]

Same. 24 & I'm so not tech savvy. I dont even know how to properly use the calendar in my phone. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[@danielle5487]

Saying that you shouldn't have strong relationships with people online isn't applicable to this case. They knew each other in real life and her whole family knew him very well before this horrible tragedy. It wasn't an issue of not knowing someone you met online. That just makes it seem like they should have or would have known what he would do if they have originally met him at school. They wouldn't have. That's not the internet's fault and it's not the family's fault. All the balme is on the murderer

[@bluskie710]

i’m genuinely scared to have a boyfriend or husband when i’m older because of all these cases. Statistics show Ex husbands/boyfriends or current ones are the most likely to kill women, not strangers. And with susan powell, bianca and so many more it’s so scary that someone could loose their life because they didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and i don’t understand why they think they can take someone’s life because they want to have a divorce or breakup.

[@StephanieHarlowe]

There’s good guys out there. Just take your time picking one, and make sure he’s on the up and up

[@jimmyclimer594]

And sometimes women kill their husbands.

[@twoheadedboypt2]

Oh come on now... Leave facts out of emotional responses hah

[@mellie4174]

Yes women do sometimes kill their husbands but a look at the statistics shows that men are not prey for women they way women are for men....

[@mellie4174]

This is because of the difference of power distribution between men and women as a general rule

[@heatherwaite445]

I found this in an article on the case: “The phrase "find somebody else to orbit" is a reference to the men's rights movement and its red pill theory's concept of "beta orbiter," which describes "low-value" men who spend time with women they're secretly in love with.” Sooo in this sense it seems like Brandon himself was orbiting Bianca.

[@teresahowick5197]

Heather Waite interesting

[@CynicalBastard]

That is some pretty ridiculous stuff. When society needs the "literal science of meme pills and sexual-social hierarchies" like something out of a Dune novel, society is having some issues.

[@1223334444michelle]

personally, I think sad/depressing/emo songs can be really comforting when I'm feeling down, because it let's me know I'm not alone! It's especially comforting when considering social media, and the pressure society puts on us to always feel happy. But I understand your point of view, I just think different things work for different people 😊

[@Timid-Creatures]

Alison Dodd I thought the same. Sad songs resonated with me so much when I was younger. Showed me I wasn't alone with all my feelings. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@StephanieHarlowe]

Alison Dodd yup for sure, whatever works for you! I do believe that certain things can be problematic for those who have mental illness or clinical depression as that goes beyond feeling sad or down ❤️

[@1223334444michelle]

@@StephanieHarlowe I'm not too sure about that either! I have MDD and I find sad songs to be really comforting. I think it's totally just person preference 😊

[@roselittleaxe4652]

I remember being really young and listening to really sad songs because I was already sad and those songs would just feed it. I wish I’d realized I was doing it! So many hard years could have been avoided. So it is definitely different for each person. My husband says music doesn’t affect him emotionally at all, he likes the way some songs sound or he doesn’t, it has nothing to do with lyrics or anything. That’s crazy to me!

[@forestfairy8025]

Sad songs definitely resonated with me as a teenager and even into my early twenties. However, I can definitely say that while I thought it was helping me, it was infact keeping me in a depressed state for much longer by feeding into that sadness. I know a lot of people who think sad or aggressive music is “helping” them cope with their feelings. However, I don’t personally know anyone that I feel has genuinely benefitted from such music. I mean, listen, Pink Floyd will always be my favorite, and occasionally they come up with some dark shit. Same with grunge, which is close to my heart. However, I have to know that my mood is already positive to listen to these types of music, or be in the mood for some shadow work. I tend to like to listen to music thst is positive and uplifting, something that keeps my mind centered in gratitude and love. It’s why I fell so deeply in love with DMB in my mid twenties.

[@Jenahh-aye]

Also in my thirties. I listen to sad music to get me through bad days sometimes since childhood. It helps me work through complex emotions when i feel emotionally congested and I use it to express myself in tangent with my writing and art. Also i was really popular with boys as a teen, had lots of guy friends, many i turned down as potential partners and stayed life long friends with. I hung out with them and it was safe. This is all on him. She did nothing wrong. She was just making friends/ being out/being young. He was a psycho. Period.

[@Alcoholpad]

Some men get this idea that you owe them something, it's hard to have a genuine male friend. Unless it's someone you've known for a while seems like there's always a hidden agenda

[@DiamondsRexpensive]

True that

[@alfiewalts9548]

Women do it too. Ive seen women go absolutely psycho over my asexual male friend.

[@mrsmuhk]

Amanda Lynn okay pick me. i hope some guy chose you for this comment sis

[@ontxtteredwxngs]

@@alfiewalts9548 I hope you get picked!

[@ecasey91]

Even if you have known them for a long time..

[@courtneymaxwell6328]

something doesn't feel right when you said she was leading him on because of the way he thinks that doing things for her will help him out. if they agreed to be just friends how was she supposed to be responsible that he continued to pine after her in order to get in her pants. also he was NOT a teenager but a full grown ass man, who got upset when she wouldn't acknowledge or respond the way he wanted to his advances.. it's not a gender thing but has to do with the fact that he felt entitled to dating her or having sex with her.

[@heatherpowell8979]

Right? Kinda makes it sound like it’s impossible to have friends of the opposite gender... which isn’t true. I mostly have guy friends, and it’s really not my responsibility to monitor their attractions to me

[@Lo0serx3]

teach teenagers that there's nothing wrong with "the friend zone"

[@kalina9271]

we need to normalize the friend zone

[@a.b4840]

There is no such thing as the friend zone

[@kayshawn.]

@@stacilynn604 ong

[@sophon238]

The friend zone itself should stop being a thing. People should seek fulfillment and edification from relationships not sex

[@SeanP7195]

Unless you’re the friend getting used

[@dhaliablack2804]

Sorry to all of you who think that "depressing" music makes teens sad. When I was a teen, and still, music was and is my saviour. I've related to so many lyrics, music, songs, artists... And it made me feel better and like I am not alone. Some artist truely saved my life and I am here still.

[@nihilismistheonlyway4680]

omg same! i listened to marilyn manson and NIN constantly when my mom up and left us, all 6 of her kids, behind in 96'. i had absolutely no one to talk to and music was my only comfort. ppl who usually say awful sh*t like this are ppl who've never been depressed and needed to listen to sad or angry music to get thru it.

[@xoLaraLee]

Came to comment the same thing. Emo music made me feel like I wasn’t alone feeling the way I felt. I related to those songs and those artists.

[@cosettes.3555]

Same..

[@miciah3676]

Came here to say the same thing. I'm in my mid thirties and still listen to it. Even now, but especially when I was a teen and going through some rough things it helped a lot to know that other people understood.

[@HeidiLynButterfly]

I second this! ❤️❤️❤️

[@avik4088]

I actually knew Bianca from Instagram, we followed each other for a couple years and she has even drawn me in the past. She was truly such a sweet angel, it was so apparent from her presence and our conversations. She really didn’t deserve this, she was taken too soon and I miss her beautiful spirit ❤️ the Instagram spam community isn’t the same without her

[@auggiemain]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's already incredibly sad, but I cant imagine actually knowing her.

[@siriuslyconfused1]

Here’s why the idea of “leading on” is stupid: if her not wanting to date you makes you so uncomfortable, but she’s said no, stop hanging out with her. If you lead her to believe you want a friendship it’s not her fault you caught feelings and can’t control them, you’re free to remove someone from your life of being around them is too painful. No way is it an excuse to murder someone, you could have removed that person from your life without killing them, stop talking to them. Cut them out. You don’t need to kill them.

[@codeygrrl]

siriuslyconfused1 thank you! I cannot believe people think that women (or anybody for that matter) deserves to be hurt for “leading on” another person. It’s pure BS

[@mrssamwisegamgee]

I totally agree with this. However I do want to add a point. Most girls KNOW these guys stick around because the guy likes them and as Stephanie said girls like the attention and so they keep them around. Obviously nobody deserves to be murdered for this but I do think this is a flaw that most women are not willing to criticize or even recognize as a flaw.

[@brey1720]

Exactly. Makes me think of so many well especially guys saying they were Friend Zoned... yeah a duh cause you were the one who got attracted to your friend. She doesnt have to feel the same 😂 & it goes both ways with that. So its nice especially seeing how some tried placing blame on her, yet explaining that the guy was obsessed with her. So for you to explain it like ya did, is great to point out ☺

[@siriuslyconfused1]

mrssamwisegamgee depends on age, experience level, lots of other things. I was 14 the first time a guy accused me of leading him on, homeschooled and naive, I didn’t even know what that meant and certainly hadn’t realized he liked me. And for people with low self esteem it can be impossible to recognize it. And then even when you get older, a lot of guys will say “okay we can just stay friends” then accuse you of leading them one when they’re the ones who lied by saying they were fine with being friends. Even if you have an inkling they’re lying it’s not your fault you took them at their word. I wouldn’t deny that SOME women and girls do want attention and let a guy think he has a chance when he doesn’t, but I don’t think that should be the first assumption we have about what happened in a situation like this.

[@mrssamwisegamgee]

@@siriuslyconfused1 Definitely age and experience are huge factors. I didn't mean to say this is always the case and I definitely don't think it was in this situation but I just thought I would spread some light on this kind of behaviour that a lot of women do partake in that nobody else in the comment section even wanted to acknowledge. I think Stephanie's insight regarding both male and female human nature that isn't really discussed between parents and their children,that really should be discussed so that we can prevent situations like this, was so spot on.

[@dntperciveme310]

“Basically a detective” on your jacket is my favorite thing about this video💜😂

[@tiffaniwall2525]

yeah not a fan of "he led her on" & "girls like attention"..... Ever think maybe she legitimately just wanted to be friends? You literally just mentioned that she didn't connect well with people IRL, she probably enjoyed having someone around that she felt like she could communicate with. idk just gross to almost blame her for "leading him on"

[@KaitlynMayReads]

I agree. It sounds like internalized misogyny to me.

[@burnteffigy87]

THIS THIS THIS

[@mindamindaminda]

not really. look at screenshots of her speaking to him and others, she has a LONG track record. she admits she uses and hurts people for her own entertainment on multiple occasions.

[@KaitlynMayReads]

@@mindamindaminda yeah, but the implication of "don't lead boys on because you might get killed" is victim blaming. It is equivalent to telling girls not to dress provocatively or they might get raped. I don't think anybody should lead anyone on, but that should have nothing to do with this story. If the main point is this boy felt lead on and blah blah blah, that's on him. This shouldn't be the time or place to tell people not to lead people on because it comes across as victim blaming and is disrespectful to the girl who is now dead.

[@tiffaniwall2525]

@@KaitlynMayReads 🙌🙌🙌

[@cherry-bk2yr]

regarding the type of music bianca listened to: i’m 19 years old and attempted to take my own life when i was 13. at that time i was indeed listening to a lot of “sad” music, but not to wallow in it as you say. for me it was complete catharsis, it was being understood, it was feeling like i wasn’t absolutely crazy for being how i was, it was being seen and heard by an artist who had gone through the same struggle that i was going through and managed to create something moving and beautiful out of it somehow. it was far from making me go deeper into the depths of my depression, it was what i clung to to keep me afloat, even if the subject matter was dark to some (i feel as though a person interested in true crime could understand that sentiment to some extent). a while before my attempt i made a list of things that made life worth living; my favorite bands were one of the first things on that list. they felt like family to me when i couldn’t count on my own. recounting how attached i was to them now seems pretty childish but i really can’t blame myself, escapism via music was all i could really rely on. i had no access to counseling and no real support system. i’m now in therapy and have been for a couple years, i’ve learned more about why i was in such despair, i understand myself a bit better. i’m more mentally stable all around. but i still love those bands and their music! i find myself listening to songs that absolutely resonated with me when i was at that place and being compelled to dance to them, still feeling the joy of being understood by the songwriters deep in my chest. being able to relate to someone about ugly, scary, terrible things that you think only you go through is something incredibly moving. if i didn’t have that connection i truly don’t know if i’d be here now. never underestimate the power of hearing someone honestly say to you “i know how you feel, and i’m still here.” idk it’s like 4am as i write this but i just wanted to say if your daughter ever has a band that she’s into that you’re worried is making her depressed or something; just talk to her, don’t take it away or make a big deal out of it. music is a way we cope- consciously or subconsciously, it’s not the reason we need coping. [edited for spelling errors lol i’m going to sleep now]

[@allisonselman9175]

Unrelated note on the topic of music: to some of us those songs are healing. It felt to me like there were others that understood and it helped me let out that hurt. So I know what you mean but a lot of us who have been depressed teens listening to depressing music found comfort in that as weird as it is.

[@bemyaladdin]

Omg yes! I've been looking for this comment. 🙏

[@xMarsRabbit]

Yeah, even to this day (F24) I still go to the emo/alternative playlist I made as a angsty teen to cope with some sadness, it helps. I'm to this day a huge metalhead because that also helps alot with dealing with the daily stress I have to suffer with.

[@gooseofspooks2500]

Yes I was going to comment this too! Emo music has quite literally saved my life many times when I was younger and I'm so glad it exists

[@kiara_7822]

you may think it’s helping but it’s really not. trust me.

[@flamejob4260]

@@kiara_7822 for me, it's helpful when i hear a metal singer describe rhe same issues i deal with, because i know i'm not alone. when i go to shows and get all my aggression out in pits and feel a brotherhood with the people there, yeah it does help.

[@sweetjellypolyurethane8333]

God i remember seeing the pictures, the "memes". Shows how insane people are, especially for the EdGe. The whole community is sick.

[@sweetjellypolyurethane8333]

24:36 teen vogue is dumb what

[@sweetjellypolyurethane8333]

25:54 you got it

[@goku9791]

i know in her tagged i remember specifically seeing peter griffin with his head cut off with the text “do the cameron boyce”

[@mikumemori]

the “memes” were so sickening i remember them all

[@rafamendonca9610]

SweetJellyPolyurethane wait, ppl would make memes about it? How sick is that

[@brynna.beatnix]

I don’t like the victim blaming that “girls need to be more safe.” Teach boys that they do not own girls. Teach boys that they are not ENTITLED to girls. Teach boys not to rape girls. And teach boys not to kill girls. Period.

[@sugarh2o732]

In an ideal world parents/caretakers would teach the entire Male population to do better but the truth is we NEED to teach our girls to be safe. They can't hope men know better.

[@yannapooh2005]

Or we could just teach both of those things?? This world isn’t sunshine and rainbows; we have to teach our children to be safe, it doesn’t matter if they’re male or female

[@cassiussky1945]

@@sugarh2o732 Teaching them to do better is the bare minimum and entirely possible. Also, teaching them that wouldn’t stop people from taking safety precautions. If it’s possible to force women to protect themselves at all times it’s possible to teach men not to hurt women.

[@cassiussky1945]

@@yannapooh2005 Why is it such a difficult concept for people like you to understand that teaching personal safety and not to harm others can coexist? All we’re saying is that you have to do both, one group can’t shoulder the burden of everyone refusing to teach the other.

[@sugarh2o732]

@@cassiussky1945 I agree 1000% but the reality is parents are not teaching those things. They just aren't. We can hope all we want. Therefore I will teach my daughters to be safe and my sons to not be entitled scumbags.

[@alexandrapatterson403]

cant imagine what how the boy who kissed her that night feels...there's gotta be some misplaced sense of guilt there

[@hennzyjohnson]

This case is just so tragic, i once heard something that made me think a lot at that time, "a person is different from online and a phone call but can be even more different in person" which means that we don't really know who we talk to online."

[@nyx8927]

If people saw the photos of her body no one would think she deserved it. The brutality that she would have suffered before death was horrifying. Women, please be careful and when you tell a man "no" have a backup. It's sad but it's reality.

[@wingriddenangel8407]

You do realize this girl WANTED to be killed right ? she fad extreme kinks and led incels on and told the guy she was with that she was using him and everything. she knew he was fucked up in the head along with her other "orbiters" yet she still met up with him for whatever reason after verbally attacking him and damaging him as if he wasn't damaged enough. she sought out attention and someone who would give in to her sick fantasies. I love how every woman in the comment section is just ignoring all of the shit she did to herself and so many people and just trying to put the blame all on him although i do believe he went too damn far. This is not a story about saying "No" this is a story about playing with fire and getting what you had coming. This is not some accident this is karma. Now, god bless her and may she rest in peace soon. soon because of all you dumb fucks trying to twist the story around and painting her with innocence she KNOWS she doesn't have.

[@MolassesCandy]

@@wingriddenangel8407 that doesn't justify her being literally brutally murdered; having someone she trusted literally fucking SAW her throat. It's absolutely disgusting to justify anything as horrible as this, it's nearly as if you're defending her murderer.

[@nymfettes]

i saw it a few days after it happened and it was just stuck in my mind. its truly horrible

[@wingriddenangel8407]

fr0gbucket Fuck all of that if it’s what she wanted then leave it be. This girl was going to get herself in big trouble sooner or later. You’re trying to think morally I’m being as blunt as possible.

[@SkullyB]

@@wingriddenangel8407 Where is that source? proof that she did this? because i do see people posting hate comments on her page to this day and the ones saying this are normally the ones who hated her without even knowing her personally. So please state the source before jumping into a story that might not even be correct.

[@kimberlypainter5169]

Popping back to get the details, just finished Crime Weekly. Love you and your content ❤❤❤

[@rachel2307]

I live in Utica. I remember the day this happened. It was the morning of the boilermaker and I was sitting on the sidewalk, ready to watch the runners go by. The race was delayed by over an hour. We didn’t know at the time but it was because the cops were responding to the calls about Bianca’s murder, a few minutes away. I don’t think Bianca’s murder should be used as fuel for the “stranger danger” internet fear mongering that’s been happening since 2000. Bianca knew her murderer in real life. He lived near her, they hung out in person many times, her family knew him and trusted him. This isn’t a case of a creepy internet predator taking advantage of a young girl. This is a crime that follows a pattern of men and boys hurting and murdering women because the men didn’t receive the attention they desired from the women. As someone who is still young, I grew up on the internet. I made many online friends and real life friends. I’ve even met my fair share of across the country internet friends in real life, romantically or otherwise. There were normal people and there were creepy people. Just like in real life. I don’t think telling teenagers that everyone on the internet is potentially a danger to them does any good. I heard it as a teen and I didn’t listen and I find it just as absurd now as an adult. People we meet in person are just as likely to be dangerous, to lie and to be hurtful as anyone we meet online. Parents need to understand that their teenager isn’t the only teenager seeking friendship and understanding on social media, most teenagers are also doing so. We aren’t in the age of the “creepy pedophile talking to little kids online” stage of the internet anymore. The internet is ruled by teens and, usually, they know much more about navigating it than adults do. What happened to Bianca was not because the internet is a dangerous place to find friends. It wasn’t because she was flirty and “led a boy on.” It was because a boy wasn’t taught to respect the boundaries of women, he wasn’t taught to respect women as people and instead thought he deserved something that wasn’t being given to him and he wanted revenge.

[@Schinzo__]

naw its her fault so many people blame the guy she deserved it

[@keziah312]

@@Schinzo__ whether you're trolling or not, your comment is disgusting

[@HeidiLynButterfly]

BRAVO!! Well said! Thank you.

[@shawneenpady9049]

When he came to that party to meet her mom everyone he’d introduce himself to, he would say he is her boyfriend and she was having to correct him (redflag)

[@taylor-fs9up]

@@bleulonde9566 so why are you in youtube comments defending her murderer's actions? an innocent girl was killed and you're focused on the motive of the girl???????? please what is so sick and twisted to make u think that's okay bruh

[@boogiebear3095]

taylor she didn’t deserve that at all. This person is just 😒

[@taylor-fs9up]

Blue Side i literally used to talk to her and saw all the posts as it played out. i honestly couldn't get through the whole video but im so glad stephanie at least told the full story of what happened. it's so sad that some of these comments are just as vile as bianca's murder.

[@bleulonde9566]

@@taylor-fs9up I'm not defending her murder. Stop being so defensive. Not sure what you mean by innocent, but she was guilty of a lot of horrible things. Also Stephanie didn't cover the whole story. There are other channels that cover Bianca's darker side in more detail or don't leave it out.

[@user-uf7ve4sr4r]

@@bleulonde9566 is a psycho and future woman killer. he should be locked up.

[@ClassicGamer74]

I'm really tired of victim blaming. Seriously.

[@user-uf7ve4sr4r]

@Jayde Lyric get your head checked

[@areolikajenknips1702]

@Jayde Lyric OOOOOR you could not fucking murder people????

[@edith4189]

Jayde Lyric you’re a crazy dude wtf

[@Irisicaaa]

@@areolikajenknips1702 She put herself in the position to be murdered. You've never seen her social media. She glamourized murder and violence. She talked about her fantasies of being murdered and abused. Therefore, she attracted people who also had those tendencies. She then manipulated those sick people for $ and attention. She put herself in danger. You're honestly sick if you encourage that kind of behavior. I hope you never have a daughter.

[@zayuhh]

HinaHina Dude, whether or no she put herself in a dangerous situation this guy would’ve killed another girl. Why are you blaming her for being “put” in this situation because im pretty sure she didn’t know she was going to die. Anyone who crossed paths with him had the possibility of being killed because he’s a sick individual. Put the blame on the murderer not the one who was murdered

[@UnethicalMilk]

Listening to sad music when you’re sad is not unhealthy. There are MANY healthy coping mechanisms, and it’s different for all people. Some people won’t be helped by ‘just going outside’ or ‘just go for a run’. In fact, they may not be able to. Mental health isn’t black and white and music does not have a huge influence over someone’s actions. That’s like the ‘video games cause violence’ shit. Ik you phrased it as ‘your opinion’ but you didn’t bother looking into it yourself or adding that you have no mental health background ( aside from possible anecdotal situations which do not mean anything, that’s simply your personal experience and doesn’t mean it’s the right answer or the only answer). When I’m sad or depressed in a way that makes me feel like I need to cry, I listen to sad music, and get all the tears out. I let myself feel what I need to feel, which can help lift a bit of the weight off my chest. It’s perfectly okay for you to let yourself have these feelings and to let them out in this way. Some people may find comfort in music that expresses something they relate to in a way they can’t relay themselves and/or help them feel they’re not alone. Some people may need to just push themselves to get out and distract themselves. But distraction isn’t always healthy. You still have to address your feelings in order to move on.

[@VicarAmelias]

It's also vent music created by someone with intimate problems with the associated topics and saying it's manipulative or that songwriters can't write about these topics is just so ... tone deaf. Like I'm sorry stephanie but sometimes the only thing you have in this world is knowing that other people have suffered as much as you have or to get your emotions out by reveling in tragic things. Because some problems aren't circumstantial or temporary and you won't just get over them so by allowing yourself to feel sorry for your circumstances you have no control over is the only way you can cope. Instead of listening to pity from people who can never understand or forcing yourself to go on every day pretending to be okay with it. Not everyone is okay, and THAT in itself is okay. It's okay to be miserable or broken and you shouldn't have to hide these feelings or be expected to get over them. That's far more toxic then allowing yourself to feel bad for yourself. And someone with bpd has more than enough reason to be drawn to this type of music, but not everyone is the same and some people are just unhappy for no good reason and just need to be allowed space to be able to feel that. Like to blame the songwriter and say you will never allow your daughters to listen to this "type" of stuff is so controlling. Not listening to sad music isn't going to make someone feel better if it's not just a passing mood. And for people who have dealt with really bad and sometimes lifelong problems they know it's not just a passing mood. It can be all they have in this world were most people only deal with woes temporarily.

[@UnethicalMilk]

@@VicarAmelias Exactlyy. Something I was told in therapy really stuck with me: ‘Your feelings are valid. It’s okay to have these feelings and acknowledge you have these feelings. Don’t compare your struggles with someone else’s. Your feelings are still important.’ and its something I remind anyone I’m close to whenever they apologize for talking about their feelings/issues. So many people I’ve met have this tendency, have this feeling of being a burden by simply expressing their feelings or talking about things they need to get off their chest, or feel hesitancy because they feel it’s ‘not as bad as some others may go through’, minimizing the impact it’s having on them. And the fact is, you can’t compare things like this. We can never truly feel what another feels. It’s okay to feel, it’s okay to talk about those feelings if you need. Mental health is still looked down upon and/or misunderstood. If the coping mechanism is healthy, and doesn’t harm themselves or others, there’s literally no issue. It just doesn’t help you. And that’s okay. But don’t take that away from others or shame others for their way of expression. There’s no need to shame others, it’s ignorant and disrespectful. For people who can’t afford professional help, other options should be openly available. I wish people who had no clue about mental health or disorders they speak about would either disclose that if they’re not going to bother looking into it or be honest they don’t know much about it but did some research and provide sources. Just take any effort at all to even try to get an idea of it. Mental health affects everyone differently. BPD for example could be completely debilitating for one while someone else is able to function normally in society.

[@HeidiLynButterfly]

Beautifully stated! I agree fully! 🙌🏻 🎶 ❤️

[@annetta5738]

@@UnethicalMilk I agree, its a beautiful and comforting feeling when you feel like somebody understands your pain and acknowledges it, like a warm hug

[@pollymarcum]

Could not have said it better myself! Why people think that being sad is a bad thing, I’ll never understand. It’s actually healthy to have other emotions other than “happy”. If you are happy 24/7 all year round, there is something not right with you, or your just being fake and faking it.

[@LuckyBadger]

I have a 17yo daughter with BPD. She works SO hard to not be a jerk, not hurt people, and to keep up with her therapy. If anyone sent me pictures of my dead child, I would lose my mind. I can't even imagine the mom's pain - and I can't imagine the evil of people who would send those pictures.

[@megschmeedafamc]

"Don't come for me guys, I'm in my 30s. I don't know." I FEEL YOU

[@CherryBombb]

There’s a little update regarding the case: Clark pleaded not guilty initially, but last week on February 10th he changed his plea to guilty. He’s expected to get 25-life. He would deserve it, tbh.

[@mandyrain1437]

Cherry Bomb hope hes in there for life

[@alyn3252]

Today he put a motion to withdraw the guilty plea.

[@CherryBombb]

a lyn I don’t know what he expects. They have a ton of evidence against him, including more that’s just been publicly disclosed. He researched how to kill somebody, and he was planning to live-stream Bianca’s murder.

[@ditzyzebrawhore911]

How can he even plead not guilty? He didn't even try to hide the fact he killed her, and he was literally at the crime scene and had motive. Wtf

[@triniquigley7094]

@@ditzyzebrawhore911 maybe an insanity plea? obviously it was extremely premeditated but he’s an entitled monster so he probably thinks he could fool people into thinking he was the real victim and that eventually he snapped. I hope he rots.

[@Nava53100]

“Don’t be friends with him” Being friends with someone DOESNT MEAN THERES HOPE WTF???? Most of my male friends started by asking me out.. and when I said “nah” they respected that. Like what the hell? Stop staying girls ask for this or perpetuate this aggressive attention from creepy guys.

[@gustavedore1073]

This! This video made me so mad tbh. So much blaming girls and sharing weird opinions that have nothing to do with the actual case

[@Nava53100]

@@gustavedore1073 I agree. Whether or not she did lead him on.. it has nothing to do with what he did to her. Like it doesn’t justify ANYTHING. I think it just dances around the line of victim blaming. And we should be better. Like when a girl is assaulted.. “uh.. well what was she wearing” We as a society should evolved past that..

[@KRL1999]

@@Nava53100 I interpreted it a little differently. To me, it didn't sound like she was blaming her, it sounded more cautionary. In a perfect world, we should be able to reject people and have them respect that, but sadly, there are a lot of deranged people out there and it's hard to anticipate someone's possible reactions until it's too late. I had a life-long friend who developed a crush on me when we were 16. I let him down gently, and tried to stay friends, but he became super obsessed and possessive. It was scary, so bad that school authorities actually got involved. Five years later, I'm still dealing with stalking. No matter what Bianca did or said, it isn't her fault that some lunatic murdered her. But, I think it's wise to caution young women especially about the possible dangers of rejecting someone and knowing when to cut ties if someone doesn't respect your decision...

[@Nava53100]

@@KRL1999 the language she used in her video ive seen in victim blaming countless times. I think everyone on here can agree. Maybe she didn’t mean it but I think that we live in a time where we need to use our language carefully especially if we have a platform and I will say women should not have to live a certain way to man to accommodate to them not killing us. So period. “Don’t lead men on” should not be apart of the conversation.

[@kartoffeleistee]

@@Nava53100 I agree. I see the "they didn't mean it like that" Point of view under so many videos on youtube. But in most cases it doesnt make sense. Yes in live conversations it can happen that you word things wrong and your points don't bring across what you actually mean. Even in posts online that you make in the heat of the moment. But this is a thought through, edited, even researched, video and she said things like that, went over it and conciously decided this is what she wants to post to the public. Even if she didnt mean it like that and didnt realise how it sounds before she posted it, there are many comments here pointing out to her, how what she said actually comes across. She could have interacted with at least one of those comments, and tell it how she actually meant it. Or put a disclamer in her video description. But as far as I can see, she didnt..

[@710xela9]

im a young mom too, im 20 & my son is 2, i had him when i was 17 & if i lost him before i turned 40 id be devastated. no one should have to watch their child pass before they do. my heart goes out to biancas mom and everyone else who has lost a child💗

[@DEADisBEAUTIFUL]

I’m 35 years old, and I still listen to music that I know will evoke feelings of sadness and melancholy. I just like what music I like. Even Chopin can leave me weepy eyed.

[@Patricia-cp2zg]

I'm having a really hard time seeing how you people say "it's not that I'm justifying" and then proceed to justify this horrific, terrible crime. PEOPLE, this girl was brutally murdered by a man for not corresponding him. The guy literally brutally murdered her, took pictures of her corpse, her neck slaughtered, her face with scrolled eyes, her blue torso covered in blood and uploaded the pictures to social media. They were all over Discord, Twitter and Instagram. People on the Internet was making fun of her death, tagging her on the corpse's pictures, making memes and jokes, and sending those pictures to her mom and friends on DM's. I'm sorry for being so graphic but I just can't understand why do you take this case so lightly. This was just terrible. I don't fucking care if she wasn't a "good person", you are not being one by justifying this terrible crime either. I don't care if she used man as you said, sended nude pictures, those things are just foolish teen things, even if she did horrible terrible things no one fucking deserves dying this way and having so much disrespect and lack of empathy about it. You are all so fucking sick for stating that, because she didn't like the boy back, she deserved it. No one deserves that. She was a person, a human being, a child. I can not believe how delusional you have to be for not being trully horrified, angry and sad by this... I hope she rests in peace and may some day her family, friends and loved ones heal.

[@StephanieHarlowe]

Yeah, it’s honestly abusive to make allegations about someone who is dead.. they can’t answer for their behavior, they can’t give you their side of the story, therefore there’s no point ❤️

[@katec708]

a-fucking-men. People just like to make themselves feel better and pretend they’ve never done anything stupid or wrong by immediately shitting on anyone else who has ever done anything stupid or wrong. It’s hypocritical because we’ve all done stupid and wrong shit. We’ve all be immature, we’ve all been assholes, we’ve all been shitty to others. So, do we all then deserve to get brutally fucking murdered and have pictures of our corpses posted every where online and texted to our fucking family and friends??? No we fucking don’t and she didn’t either.

[@katec708]

trevor worldly the point is that she’s young, stupid, and immature. Yes you know right and wrong from an extent, but you physically cannot reason properly at that age because the frontal cortex isn’t fully developed. This is why teenagers, early twenties can be stupid and irrational as fuck.

[@Patricia-cp2zg]

@@kuntrybumpkin8539 why are you placing people in "bad" or "right", who are you, to determinate, if the victim deserved it or not? No one deserves this. You are excusing and justifying a terrible crime because the victim does not suit your tipe of ideal, angelical person. I don't care how she was, she certainly didn't killed anyone. A mother, a sister and friends lost a young girl, a partner, someone they loved. This girl lost her life to a terrible death, she must have suffered, she must had so much fear. I hope you analyze your values. Because some day, you might get killed, and some asshole can be justifyng your murder by saying "he wasn't a good person, he supported child murder in youtube comments". Sorry for being rude. Sending you light

[@kuntrybumpkin8539]

Patricia Díaz See, people like you think that you can do whatever you want without any consequences. You can't do shitty things and then be surprised if something bad happens. Girls kill me trying to keep around guys that they know have feelings for them just so they can have a friend. How selfish. Plus, she lied and manipulated other men. Last time I checked that is fucking WRONG.

[@TheMirrorRoom]

"She led him on bc she wanted attention" is victim blaming and not a good take.

[@mirrenguzzio688]

Agree 100%

[@ApatheticBlogger]

@@snooopydooo I have it too and guess who avoided men like the plague? Don't generalize. I was active in the community when this happened: he was an incel who killed her after she rejected him. He posted on social media about it venting the entire night he killed her.

[@Psyopcyclops]

She was referring to her daughter when she said that. She then expanded it to her continuing to hang around him.

[@Arai_Somnia]

She manipulated many people and she openly admitted on Discord for that. She still clearly rejected him tho. It is a known fact. BUT she was still young learning about the way and this doesn't justify any violence acts directed to her. She still brought joy to many people.

[@HaraQuinn]

@@snooopydooo As a therapist, diagnosed BPD over 10 years.. totally agree with all your added symptoms as ive also experienced it. Just wanted to add some more info 😉 BPD is a genetic/environmentally triggered disorder.. as in, you do have to have enough genetic markers for it to manifest... while some with the same markers, never do. Its been sourced as a personality disordered rooted (most cases), from childhood.. especially child neglect... being an only child.. basically not having the attn needed as children to allow our limbic cortex to be culturally nurtured as most parents WOULD do.. my parents were 15/17 y/o at my birth and we had 0 family. Just the 3 of us.. i recall having my first full blown panic attacks age 10, i just never had the vocab at that age, so i learned to “naturally” develop phobias. Most BPD deal with some form of social shortcomings, especially with communication. Which relates to what you mentioned, as adults. We seek the attention we were starved from.. hence the “were CrAzY, manipulative, drama whores” stigma weve been given. This is flat out wrong. Its only one way of us seeking validation. I immersed myself into 1000 hobbies, then got my masters in psych JUST to understand my brain. To say the least, my perception of BPD did a 180. Ive not only embraced the gifts it gives us, every negative has a positive effect in some other way.. for me, arts.. my creativity, til this day, i embrace the idea i have a unique mind that lives in my own Wonderland. It took years of mind hacking to see the positives.. but were beautiful, empathetic, people.. for me, i feel like im the normal one watching “normies” tear eachother apart over petty shit. Its like, we battle OURSELVES 24/7, so any outside drama feels so toxic and absurd. We deal with enough demons for life. Side note, i also disagree with the sad music=bad thoughts as Steph expressed. As a massive NF fan, i highly suggest you look into his music if you dont know him.. but hes an extremely talented rapper with severe OCD and his whole discography is him talking about his life. Each song one chapter. Its sad shit. But relatable and i use his music as my therapy. Its a reminder were not alone, no1s perfect, were all broken to an extent. And NF, Nate, embraces and struggles based on his mood each song. It is so far from toxic. This annoys me. Artist like NF, 21 Pilots, are breaking stigma and bringing us hope and light through empathy. Not preaching. Shame on this opinion Stephanie has bc their music saves lives. I recommend NF- Just Like You for any doubters. Its blissfully bittersweet. Much love, BPD Fam. 💋💋

[@annaraykell]

“and here come the “ok boomer” comments” im dead 😂😂😂

[@CapnUnicorns]

a little bit of anna, honestly needed the explanation and I was born at the beginning of gen Z ._. I don’t understand these kids.

[@livelongandprospermary8796]

CapnUnicorns egirls are the new scene/emo, which was big when I, a mid-20’s millennial, was a teen.

[@StephanieHarlowe]

🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ none yet but they’ll come

[@CapnUnicorns]

Mary Hines, so i get to say “I was an egirl back when it wasn’t an abbreviation for emo girl” and promptly have my niece say “ok zoomer”? Sweeeeeet.

[@AmandaSay]

@@CapnUnicorns I think is an abbreviation for Electronic Girl/Girlfriend, also even though the concept is more accepted now, it did start as an insult similar to Thot or hoe, so still be careful when using the word

[@DetectiveGirlyPop]

“Why are you watching true crime if you don’t want to hear the facts “ This statement is 💯

[@haleighcasad8513]

I can undertake why people wouldn’t want to say his name. Because at that point, you start losing the focus on the victim and it starts to become about the perpetrator. That being said, I think video context also matters. Phillip DeFranco is a news channel. Whereas, this video is an in depth look at the case. Omitting the name from a “news clip” makes sense. Omitting his name from this case wouldn’t have made sense for the context.

[@StephanieHarlowe]

Haleigh Sanders I agree. Thank you, you said it much more eloquently than I did 😂

[@ClassicGamer74]

He who must not be named. *sigh*

[@terriberri87]

There's a trend at the minute to not mention the names of spree killers and mass shooters because the psychology behind some of them is to "become infamous" or "beat the previous death count". But I think in murder cases it doesn't make as much sense because a crime like this is about hatred towards one person not following a trend.

[@graphitegirl506]

Hearing your name on tv would be a powerful ego boost for someone who likes/wanted to gain notoriety from what they did, but talking about them in this context is different than being a news channel on tv or KZbin.

[@evelynwilson1566]

I agree. I'm not familiar with the other channel but I think within that context - of a short news clip - they can omit the name and focus on the victim. For an in depth investigation, omitting the name would just make the perpetrator seem mysterious and fascinating, so people would want to find out who he was. It would draw attention to him. No one should be getting targetted though - not Bianca's family, nor the perpetrator or his family. The law and if necessary the mental health system can deal with him appropriately and everyone else is going through enough. Mob mentality is terrifying - especially from those who are very brave when hiding behind a computer screen. .

[@mayagurrola8345]

I understand where you’re coming from...but this felt so “victim-blamey”. I get we have to teach girls to protect themselves because of the world we I’ve in, but what about teaching men accountability, responsibility, dealing with emotions and rejection? Did not live the way this was covered.

[@chicade4810]

Men are taught that as well, if they have good parents (a good moral father-figure at least, if dad is out of the picture). Your problem is with the boys who are taught that and don't give a damn, or the boys who were never taught and it's too late to. You're upset over nothing lmao

[@adriennem9832]

Absolutely

[@saladasss2092]

You just have to accept that the world not only has friendly people. That's why you need to teach girls to be more careful and not provoke an avoidable situation. I've watched crime videos where girls were amazingly careless even though there were obvious signs that the guy was crazy.

[@Khaleesi_Of_Kittens]

Absolutely.

[@annetteharmon6604]

⁶howick and the next few weeks I will be home in

[@sarahbellum380]

Your original idea of what “orbit” is was correct. The lady who wrote that article is off lol.

[@laurenmareedeniseknowles-k7425]

The son clearly wasn't raised "right" his father showed him the WRONG way to treat women.

[@jennymb9479]

That’s no excuse to murder someone.

[@auggiemain]

@Wobbuffet yea but Bianca didnt grow up to literally murder people so

[@ddumbbee]

sad music actually helps you when you feel depressed. it makes you feel comforted and like what your feeling is normal. you could argue that normalizing depression or sad thoughts isn’t good but it’s better than self loathing and hating the feelings you can’t control. nicole dollanganger has some very dark themes but i personally feel like her music has helped me so much. she has a song called “Please Eat” and it’s helped with my ED.

[@genericchannel126]

I agree! Some music helped me through tough times BUT when i listen to music with triggering topics (associated to memories like depression) it pulls me into a self pity party. I lay in bed and listen to the sad music to only make me cry and have a pity party. I deleted some music and only put happy music because its better for ME.

[@Mitsu2040]

I think it's important to feel your feelings, not try to bury them because then they just fester and come pouring out when you don't expect it. So feel your sadness, your grief or anger, and express it, then let it go and change to something positive to start a new day.

[@paulabrown6840]

Brandon clark. Today he was sentenced 25 to life. Bianca’s grandfather said her family will be at every single parole hearing forever!

[@caobadraconis5560]

I don't know if this is some sort of cultural difference, but the way some things were dealt with in this case irk me quite badly. How can anyone say that it's natural for men, particularly grown men who are preying on teens, to not accept the teen saying "I just want to be friends" and then keep pursuing them? That's not a natural thing, that's them acting like predators. And saying it's natural basically shifts the blame, cause it implies that since it's part of their behaviour, the victims should do more to reject them despite having done so already. When the fact is that they're adults preying on teens, and everyone, regardless of age or gender, should accept other person saying "this is only a friendship" without the need of an explanation or further rejections.

[@greyescape6601]

In this case Bianca was exploiting Brandon for drugs and a free ride to parties. She was the predator seeking out guys to use.

[@katec708]

Grey Escape shut the fuck upppp please, for the love of god

[@katec708]

Because we live a patriarchal, misogynistic society where everything is all about men getting whatever they want and women being their subservient bitches

[@ontxtteredwxngs]

@@greyescape6601 nice bait, mate

[@AwfulDog1]

You are a bit naive, no offence, but in the real world not everyone is going to talk you at your word...it is human nature for some to pursue what they want despite being refuted, and it is also human nature for others to give mixed messages. nothing to do with cultural difference, just not everything is so easily cut and dried.

[@KristylikeKrisT]

He posted his crimes online he clearly wanted attention. Not showing names and faces of killers is not giving him the clout he wants. Also, other people will copy if you give the person attention because they’ll see it’s a viable way to get said attention.

[@Irisicaaa]

It wasn't just for attention. She was leading him on. The guy was driving him to go see another man she wanted to have sexual relations with. It was out of power and possession that he killed her, so no one else could have her.

[@d28104hijklmnop]

​@@Irisicaaa Attention is posting the crimes on social media and waiting for the police to come before stabbing yourself? A scorned person he might've been (he could've not driven her if he was so annoyed about it rather than take a butcher knife and continue his ploy of being a friend and 'protector', but I digress). However, once he did things get the most significant reaction, especially changing his bio with a death date and the ones mentioned prior, you cannot rule out the primary factor of attention for the crime. If it was just about power and possession, he would've offed himself right after the threat than wait for a chance to be saved.

[@Irisicaaa]

@Aspen Lopez People like you are the reason girl's can't protect themselves. Victimhood isn't unavoidable. Stop using age to justify her ignorance. She was 17 not 12. 17 is literally the legal age of consent in NY, it's the age where the fucking governments thinks of us to be mature enough. Don't get into a car with someone OBSESSED with you.

[@emrsxo348]

HinaHina i’ve seen ur comments all over here. You are extremely disrespectful regardless of the circumstances a 17 year old dosent deserve to be murdered.

[@Irisicaaa]

@@emrsxo348 I don't give a fuck about your opinion. Small brained idiots that lack reading comprehension skills shouldn't be allowed to comment. This is not a matter over whether she "deserved" to be murdered, it's over what she could have done to protect herself. Women need to stop teaching that it's never the victim's fault. Yes, no one deserves to be murdered, BUT that doesn't excuse making bad DECISIONS. You wouldn't walk into a dark alley, would you?

[@AstraeaFae]

Girl that purple lipstick is a YES from me Edit: Also, love that bit where you’re like “He’s not Voldemort!” And you said it the way JK Rowling said she intended for it to be pronounced. Still sounds kind of weird without hearing the ‘T’ lol :)

[@StephanieHarlowe]

Jess Fae well I figured Latin...mort... that’s most likely where his name was derived from 😂

[@thewitmarkdemos]

@@StephanieHarlowe Eagerly searching for the ill-informed "YOURE NOT A REAL FAN, THATS NOT HOW YOU SAY IT!" comments lol

[@aroseinwinter7719]

Me too, makes her look like a fairy

[@chloezealey5029]

I can’t believe you’d even bring up the idea she may have led him on, no matter how you frame it that was a shitty thing to do.

[@XYZ-kb3mm]

not really, it’s giving context to the alleged motive

[@lynnybee6328]

Unfortunatly some girls do .lets be honest guys do it too they can keep you dangling on a string until you are of no further use to them.Stephanie did use the word MAY though !

[@davidschmidt2081]

Oh my! Well I never! The thought of a girl leading a guy on? How dare you even imply that it's possible!

[@chloezealey5029]

@@davidschmidt2081 demonising a murdered child because of the idea that a man thought their relationship was deeper than it was, and then him murdering her for it. That’s the issue.

[@davidschmidt2081]

@@chloezealey5029 No. You are creating issues, looking for things to be offended by. Nobody has claimed that the guy had any legitimate reason for doing what he did, nobody is saying she deserved it, nobody is saying that they want to teach girls but ignore male actions. What we are saying is that she may have led him on because even if you find that to be completely impossible, not really sure why you would, that doesn't make it impossible. We only bring it up because it is a good thing to think about when you're taking to your young girls and teaching them about the dangers of the world. If a girl can spot red flags and get away from men who seem weird they might just be a little safer. Also, you using the word child doesn't help, she wasn't a literal child, she was a young adult, I don't care what the legal age is for adulthood, if you're turning 18 in 2 months, nothing is going to magically change in your head that makes you an adult after that 2 months passes.

[@ItsJess1799]

I'm only 21 and I literally haven't heard of like half of these terms wtf

[@gauloise6442]

You are so lucky.

[@xxxxxxxxx1652]

i joined discord like barely two years ago, and when i first came there i didn't understand anything, i didn't understand the language and terms used, but once you use it for a while, it becomes a part of you lol

[@ItsJess1799]

SuzN it’s basically an application where you can voice chat/regular chat with people around the world. From my experience, it was used a lot with gamers to communicate while playing and stuff like that, idk if that clarified it a bit more

[@bandtrash4038]

@SuzN lmao it's kinda fun sometimes cause you meet new people online with similar interests to you, but the main reason why I left it is cause the community is kinda toxic whew

[@celinaalert4189]

Ikr I'm 17 and I felt so old when I heard orbiting?

[@mielunaria]

why is it always people try to blame women for action of men? like 'oh she was leading him on so she deserved it' or 'she should've stopped talking to him so he wouldn't get any hope about being with her'. why should she be responsible for her guy friend that she didn't like getting jealous about her kissing another guy that she liked? even if you try to justify it by saying she was playing around and hanging out with a lot of guys, why still blame her? why not blame the guy for not realising/accepting how 'bad of a person' she was (im not saying she actually was, this is just hypothetical) and just moving on to someone who is a good person!? i don't understand why so many men, especially young boys, are either never taught or just refuse to understand that if the other person is not interested, they should just stop any attempts and advances and move on to someone else who might actually be interested in them. why do they think that if they linger around and try to make the person they like 'see' them in the same way? it wont magically make that person suddenly like you. also why throw 'tantrums' about it? and thinking extreme things like 'if i cant have them no one can'? it's doing nothing but hurting someone, and this is so sad this had to happen to an innocent girl who to just seems like wanted a friend but that friend wasn't emotionally mature enough to realise he needed to just stay a good friend or explain it's too hard for him and just stop talking to her and move on.

[@ifiwsaflowridbearose]

alexis luna Cases like this are exactly what people mean when legal authorities talk about extreme stalker cases. This dude was obsessive and sounds like he was trying to be controlling too. She and her family didn’t deserve anything that happened to her and with how bad it got, not talking to him would have escalated this situation even faster. He was COMPLETELY obsessed with them being together. He even had the imaginary thought that they were dating, when in reality she had told him no previously already. If they had just stopped talking, he would have most likely just went and kidnapped her instead. You just don’t know with some people. Of course, it’s not everyone. Most guys would back off when you tell them no, but some.. they want to push it until you say yes or something even worse could possibly happen to you. Everyone, please. If a person says no to ya, just take the no at face value. There is no hidden meaning, like they’re magically going to change their minds over night. Okay? They are not. Just be their friend or leave them alone. Really.. please, we have enough problems in this world already let’s not add on to it

[@samanthataylor3372]

I think this is one of my favorite cases you have done. I'm 58, but have depression, BPD, Asperger's and I think in offbeat ways oftentimes so I can understand on some level some of these feelings. I would never harm or kill anyone but sometimes feelings can be difficult. Very sad, all of it.

[@JustMySelfBro]

They dont wanna take responsability because they suck ass

[@VioletJoy]

" Why is it always people want to blame women for men's actions?" That is a major exaggeration. I've literally never heard anyone say that a woman deserved to be killed, whatever the circumstances... and I've watched a lot of true crime. Sure, there might be some keyboard trolls or the rare uncaring person, but the vast majority of people don't feel that way. "... why so many men are either never taught or refuse to understand..." This isn't a male only issue. In fact, I might even go as far as to say that there numbers are pretty equal in this kind of situation. I'm not sure men "aren't taught" or "refuse to understand" when a woman is not interested romantically. Men in general act on their desires which have developed through evolution. Sometimes the brain goes haywire, like in this case. Most likely, he suffered with a form of mental illness similar to his father. That's not an excuse for murder, but an explanation. Until we as a society start addressing and understanding mental health issues, we won't be able to help those affected.

[@bslayer1027]

Too many men feel entitled and it is terrifying.

[@displayname9538]

The amount of blame being placed onto Bianca for being brutally murdered in these comments and all over the internet is absolutely insane. It doesn't matter what she did or what she is rumoured to have done. It seems to me that a lot of these people are drawing from their own past hurtful experiences instead of being objective and having some damn respect for the seventeen year old girl who was murdered because she didn't give a man what he wanted. Stephanie, thank you for always covering these cases with such grace and respect, it is so clear that you have your heart in the right place.

[@maxHeadroom325rayxerin]

"oh she was a complete thot who scamed people but it doesnt matter" actually yes it does, play stupid games and win stupid prizes. we cant just do anything we want and expect us to be 100% ok. if we don't learn that then there will be more bianca devins.

[@sarahbarabe8470]

@@maxHeadroom325rayxerin oh my god do you hear yourself???? "Yeah she did things that were slightly incorrect and kind of annoying so she DESERVES TO BE BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED" ?????¿¿¿¿¿¿ This is sick

[@maxHeadroom325rayxerin]

@@sarahbarabe8470 No, Not just slightly incorrect or kind of annoying. She tried ruining peoples lives, Was an underaged camgirl, Scammed people for drugs or money, And hung out with the wrong crowd which got her killed. Don't act like shes innocent or that no human deserves death for horrible actions.

[@maxHeadroom325rayxerin]

@@alexrv_28 Still a sad story, Too bad people are scared to address the fact she had this coming

[@mastermonke1177]

max Headroom she didn’t deserve what happened to her, but could’ve done a lot more to prevent it.

[@beckkilmark]

steph babe, i love your videos but its hard to watch when you say you expect us young girls to know when a grown man is trying to get with us. she had bpd, like me. we cannot tell those things. we genuinely want friendship most of the time. she was a young girl who's life was taken so soon and her not stopping a grown man from doing messed up stuff didn't play a part at all.

[@lissa8197]

@@awesomeone2979 Where did she brag to her friends that she made Brandon jealous? I missed it.

[@annettedailey6743]

@@awesomeone2979 it absolutely does matter! She was honest to him. Why cant she tell him about kissing anyone? He wasnt her boyfriend. Youre really sick..

[@KerrieBerrie]

THIS. I couldn't watch the rest of the video after Steph's comment. I know in my teens I awkwardly turned guys down because I didn't want to hurt their feelings or hurt our friendships. But on top of that - how many murder cases has she covered about men KILLING women who turn them down?

[@Ultrameowmeow]

She was a teenager. Teens do stupid things.. Brandon should have known better. He was clearly a narcissist. Narcs and BPD go hand in hand - they likely felt they had a competition with each other. More so him with her. Life isn’t a game.. it’s precious and there’s never an excuse for taking someone’s life. It’s truly horrible what happened to Bianca. She was just starting her life.

[@charissa6648]

Respectfully, 17 verses 21 is not a huge difference and surely does not make him a "grown" man. What he did was deplorable, period. Yes, according to witnesses she did know he wanted more whether or not she led him on I don't know but she knew he wanted more. She knew he was angry when she kissed someone else. You are accountable for your actions. She did not deserve it and this is all irrelevant but having bpd does equate unawareness. You have to be aware. I have adhd and I am aware whether or not I am leading someone on and at that age; I was aware. You should know better or learn to have boundaries as you will be an adult and that's the entire point of being raised to learn to do the right thing and grow in knowledge and wisdom. She knew

[@SavannahRose]

“I don’t know guys, I’m in my 30s” - me every day on social media

[@baileymoran8585]

I disagree with ‘depressing music’ making things worse. With true depression, dark music can make you feel less alone. I don’t like emo and think it’s problematic because it promotes obsessive toxic relationships but I love metal. When I’m angry, I want to get it out. Yelling along with a heavy song helps so much. The good for a run and get out and socialize’ thing is a joke in the mental health community because it is NOT for everyone and usually only helpful for neurotypical folks who get situationally sad once in a while. There are albums that have helped me so much that I keep them on rotation even when I’m not in a bad place, for maintenance. I have PTSD, and when I’m not in a good place, happy music is cringy. It’s not relatable. I run, but I’m an ex athlete and I know it’s not for everyone. I run with black metal playing. I do yoga to industrial. I hit the weights to thrash. Dark music heals far more than it harms and I’ve been into it in some form since middle school.

[@Mckinley-mick]

This!!! Yes, yes.

[@iTranscendx]

Yup !

[@moonbeam3431]

It really depends on the person. As a person with mental illness, it can actually worsen it for me sometimes.

[@ninaflanagan-romo8525]

This lady made me lose all respect for her. Find a new crime guru, this lady SUCKS. She’s such a jerk.

[@rachaelchappell317]

Yes, old school goth/metal head, finding beauty in the darkness/madness helps deal with the situation. Been into both since my teens.

[@maya24711]

This happened in my home town where we just graduated together. I was on vacation and this hit me so hard! We had our whole lives, how dare he take her away from us! I’m so glad you portrayed her life so respectfully and beautifully💓

[@Gaming_Fairy]

I really like Stephanie harlows videos but the way this one described the victim something about it just feels wrong and gross. Not a fan of this particular portrayal of the story.

[@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701]

okay you need to calm down im sure steph didnt truly mean that, we all say things we dont mean. stop pointing at steph and raising your pitchforks against her, its not like she habitually victim blames people, stop cancelling her, just stop, cancel culture is more gross than anything

[@kelpynibhriain4075]

@@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701 they’re not cancelling her? they’re criticising her

[@emmawynne7476]

@@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701 No one is cancelling anyone, here. They're criticising certain opinions, and they're well within their right to do so. If you're anti-cancel culture and pro-free speech, then you should support the fact that we're free to disagree and to have conversations about problematic opinions. Ironically, you seem to be pro-cancel culture.

[@LovelyComplex14]

​@@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701y'all have got to stop responding to every form of criticism as an attack.

[@melaniegordon4685]

thank you so much for covering Bianca’s story, she didn’t get remembered as she should have

[@brianajordan3520]

WEIRD amount of victim shaming in this video, considering it's coming from someone with a daughter of her own. The amount of time you spend on her "leading him on" and focusing on how she could have not gotten herself killed - don't meet people online, don't form intense relationships, don't listen to mopey music, don't lead boys on - is... gross? Really gross? The only words that should have followed "we need to teach" are "our boys not to murder women." That's literally it. Really gross. Really sad.

[@alexs5022]

@Pieces109 best post ever

[@Pieceofchocolate1]

teaching people to have a sense of personal responsibility is NOT victim shaming. give it a rest.

[@arniegurgle2730]

completely agree with OP

[@asserm.8047]

@@Pieceofchocolate1 you say that bc the conversation didnt spark from ur or ur family member's death 😐

[@TruthFaced]

@A piece of chocolate Funny how it always women who are taught to have personal responsibility more than men. STFU

[@dykingout2018]

When Bianca died I was her age, and after her death I kind of stopped and considered how much she could be me or any other person I know. It frightened me so much...

[@chloeleeangel]

gislx • Yo same

[@Gaius_Sinstone]

with respect, the moral here is *not to “be careful making relationships with people online.”* she could just as easily have met this person at a concert, bar, party, literally anywhere else.

[@cherylschantz9893]

Except she didn’t meet him that way.

[@Gaius_Sinstone]

@@cherylschantz9893 so to the girl whose killer was a law school classmate, i guess you’d have told her, “the moral here is be careful making relationships with people at law school.” ok.

[@cherylschantz9893]

@@Gaius_Sinstone being a law school graduate doesn’t mean someone shouldn’t be careful. Whether one meets someone online or otherwise, safety should always be a concern. Unfortunately, young women must be especially careful in today’s society. As a mother of a teenager, I am acutely aware of how pervasive violence towards women has become. I am not judging the victim, but warning others.

[@Gaius_Sinstone]

@@cherylschantz9893 so we agree. this is exactly my point. it has nothing to do w *internet relationships* being inherently more dangerous than any other. the risks are literally everywhere

[@ginnygin7141]

She didn't say that's the moral did she? lol what. She just addressed that among many other things. And tbh there is no moral at all. Reality does not have a moral.

[@user-pm7li6be8o]

Guys never want to be just “friends” with a beautiful girl. I learned this in a hard way. My heart breaks for this sweet girl. May her soul rest easy.

[@dacritter8397]

It's the same for women who try to be friends with a guy they like. Seems one or the other always wants more but hide/lie/whatever just to stay in the picture and hope.. hope,,, manipulate... hope... lose their damn minds when they realize it's just not going to happen... etc., etc.

[@dacritter8397]

@Ashy shut the front door...

[@user-pm7li6be8o]

@@dacritter8397 very true and it can get very scary in both situations

[@max8784]

She didn't deserve to be killed and the guy is a bad person but she also sounded happy that he in this conversation on discord when he was mad it's bad that she broke his heart Lots of girls does this just to be with more handsome boys And this is sexism btw you can't generalize because of a single situation you had I hate also when men says the stuff

[@abbyhoneywaffles]

@@dacritter8397 Mmm nah I was friends with mostly dudes my whole life, all of which I was never remotely romantically interested in yet every single one of them tried to make a move on me at some point.🤔🙄

[@flamingogh_]

I remember making the mistake of looking for her pictures. Fucked me up for days. Real gore isn't the same as tv gore. She was dead, really dead, dying mid picture and covered in her own, real blood. Dont do it. When you hear about someone's death, don't be morbidly curious. It isn't worth it. I hope she rests in peace.

[@sydneylandin6612]

I remember the same thing, I’m a teenage girl and those images hurt me in a way that I can’t even explain.

[@az0941560]

I remember seeing it too. I didn’t realise she was still alive in the picture though :(

[@andyswifeandbiggestfan]

i looked at the photos a week ago and they haunt me

[@leapoffaith21]

@@az0941560 s-she was still alive in the picture?...omfg..

[@sophiedonnelly7532]

@@andyswifeandbiggestfan where did u find them? I’m so curious

[@sweethappy58]

BEST way to start any day: new Stephanie Harlowe

[@ambermullenax9813]

The Vehement Vegans ... especially a Monday morning!

[@sweethappy58]

Amber Mullenax absolutely 🙌🏽 happy Monday!

[@cammey3]

@@ambermullenax9813 well literally NEED her on a Monday 🤣🤣

[@222-d3y7q]

The Vehement Vegans Factssss

[@emurillo8573]

Girl, same !

[@booksandbluestockings8664]

I love your content and I think you are insightful and delightful... But, Teenage girls don’t always ‘lead guys on’ because they like attention. Sometimes they feel awkward or scared of what the guy will do if they ignore them. And... It’s kinda not cool to tell somebody how to cope when they’re sad. Sad music helps some people. Getting out there helps others. And regarding what you said about the music artist being problematic for young people to listen to, I’m going to paraphrase what Britney Spears says, music artists aren’t here to babysit kids. I’m not trying to come for you or hate on you. I just wanted to offer a different perspective

[@museumghost]

I’ve had to do this in my twenties too; I didn’t realize a guy I thought was friends with had romantic feelings for me and after he told me and I didn’t feel the same, it got really weird. I was old enough to know to cut him loose, but if I were a teen, I know I would’ve tried to make it work. ://

[@witcheria777]

Yes yes yes!! I 100% agree with you

[@jennifercoolidgeislife6760]

I think this was the most respectful comment I saw about this. I feel like there is a a few major details that were missed because Bianca told her mom she had a sexual relationship with him.. not blaming her but he knew it was an open type of relationship.. Also he told everyone he was her BF at a family party and she kept correcting him to his face. So def not leading the dude in and even if she did it would never validate his actions. Also yea the sad music thing seemed like a joke but I can see why it irked other ppl

[@adriennepaige4003]

These are good points

[@bubbles4897]

@@jennifercoolidgeislife6760 wait….she just straight up told her mom “hey I’m having sex with this guy” and she was seventeen??? White peoples are smth else lmao

[@hao_030]

thank you for covering her case and being respectful. as someone who actually knew her and was her friend its very refreshing to hear someone actually being kind and respectful when talking about bia.

[@FrauStormm]

I remember finding out about the photos he posted of Bianca’s body when they were going around a couple hours after he put them up. My curiosity got the best of me. People thought it was fake until the news articles started to come out. It truly fucked with me for a couple days

[@a.l.michael6240]

Damn. I’m sorry you had to see that.

[@Dvgteeth]

I saw them too. Downright fucking horrendous.

[@lavalives]

i remember seeing this on twitter and somebody had posted the photos, and it literally fucked me up for so long. poor girl. i can’t imagine

[@StephanieHarlowe]

Eve I avoided looking at the pictures. It’s just not something I need, or anyone needs

[@-leezha-]

I saw them on twitter too. Hated it. People are so disrespectful, sharing them around like that. I hope she's resting peacefully.

[@ashtongibbs3290]

I saw them on Twitter as well :( I really wish I could go back and remove them from my brain

[@princesskristan]

I saw them on Instagram. I couldn't sleep for days because I couldn't get those images out of my brain

[@capric0rpse]

I too saw multiple photos. I swear, every time I would close my eyes at night, I'd see those photos in my head of the both of them..

[@miloslavskaya_v]

I hate how in these situations we as girls get directions: don't lead boys on, don't meet people you found on the internet, don't continue friendship with a boy who has a crush on you. Girls are not the problem. And you can't prevent yourself from meeting a sociopath who would kill out of plain jealousy. On the contrary I would rather adress boys and people raising them.

[@ExtraterrestrialExcrement]

100%

[@smurfylee]

These are tips for our own safety, there are always going to be psychopaths. Some people are just born evil and so no matter how you raise them they are still dangerous.

[@tesstickle6462]

It goes both ways babe. Jodi arias? But, NO She did NOT deserve that AT ALL!

[@AM-gt1yt]

@@tesstickle6462 wow naming one of the extremely rare female serial killers. Congrats “jessica.” We get it, you defend male rapists. Youre….. •~not like thee other gurlsz💋~•

[@cristinarichart1118]

Tons of female psychos

[@usamiio8323]

I listened to a full album and as someone with bpd like Bianca did i don’t really feel depressed or sad listening it was more of feeling understood .

[@Thurslay]

she’s clearly never been depressed if she thinks “getting out” makes you feel happier at all. feeling understood is what gives u the power to get up

[@megancruzan770]

"Go for run", while clinically depressed. Lol Girl, I can hardly fold my laundry.

[@psi_lucid]

“Get some sunlight, vitamin D cures depression”

[@infinite2729]

@@psi_lucid 🙄 one of the most annoying things I've ever heard lol

[@sadieireland8282]

@@megancruzan770 Right? It's tough..

[@lyndsann3309]

It’s tough but it helps some people. You can’t say she’s never been depressed. You don’t know her. People cope in different ways and there is no reason to bash them for it or say they’ve never felt depressed.

[@an9elkaii]

he waited to do it when they got there so he could get taken to the hospital cause he didn’t ACTUALLY wanna die. he just wanted to look crazy

[@TamarKim]

My thoughts exactly

[@1000wastedwords]

Emo lvl💯

[@playenimplayenim6319]

Didn't have the courage to kill himself.

[@Bagelsandcreamcheese]

Unless you tell someone “I want to date you” when you don’t want to date them, you aren’t leading them on 🤨

[@kilibubblecata6266]

Dude I am your age and I listened to emo music when I was younger. I was super depressed as a teen and listening to emo music was an outlet for me that made me feel better, even just in that moment. It's not something that happy people will listen to and then become depressed because of it; people who are happy will just do what you did and not listen to it anymore. You really sound like those people who blamed Columbine on Marilyn Manson. Just because it's not your thing doesn't mean that it's something that negatively influences people. Get some perspective.

[@buddywriggles]

I'm also her age and literally still listen to this music. Got recommended this channel, but between random rambling about "young girls wanting attention" and multiple references to emo music. Yeah... gonna find somewhere that deals with facts, not generalizations. Super disappointed.

[@HandbagDiva]

@@buddywriggles she’s the most in depth crime channel. She has so many facts about cases I thought I knew everything about. I’d give her a chance

[@MissCheyFay]

@@HandbagDiva I have found that Kendall Rae is also very in depth with the cases she does videos on. Same with Baliey Sarian.

[@ryninabin3518]

@@MissCheyFay Much prefer Bailey Sarian. Stephanie seems like a very out of touch, judgmental woman. I kind of feel sorry for her daughter since it seems Stephanie almost victim blames (when she says she isn't) and puts most of the responsibility for men's actions on the woman victims. Which is so gross. I'm noticing a trend with her videos, and I don't like it.

[@ryninabin3518]

@@buddywriggles Me too. She seems anti woman. Plus her saying Bianca was not a real "Influencer" was super judgey and gross. Not very impressed when there are other crime vloggers that don't judge young women by their music. This kind of victim blaming seems to be a trend of hers. I feel bad for her daughter with that kind of thinking raising her. She is very out of touch about male accountability and the rights of women not to be victimized. When you have to start by saying "I'm not saying that....", you are totally saying that. I'm also not fond of her stale way of presenting.

[@ZombixMix]

I must give my own 2 cents about the sad music being bad. I listened to a lot of music like that in my teens and I feel like it helped me deal with difficult things like bullying. It made me feel like I wasn't alone. It helped me get to know my emotions and I feel like it was very valuable for my emotional growth.

[@Megan98]

Emma same here, everyone deals w stuff differently :/

[@fantasticfaith1106]

Emma most of the time tho it is proven to make things worse

[@ZombixMix]

@@fantasticfaith1106 on what kind of a time scale? Of course it amplifies the emotion, I won't argue that, but I wouldn't say it in the end would be worse

[@fantasticfaith1106]

Emma I’m talking about people who constantly listen to sad music and don’t really listen to anything else. listening to it often is proven to make things worse especially in people who are already depressed. I understand that it can help in short term to help let your emotions out but long term it almost always has negative affects. Also sorry for my bad grammar

[@burnout2836]

"Sad" music definitly saved my life when I was at my lowest points.

[@VoiceOfTheFell]

I know it’s a hot topic right now and everyone’s talking about it, but I’d love to hear your retelling if the Onision case. You always put so much thought and effort into your videos and it would be great to see you go over it

[@smexipenguin]

Brandy Doll the more content creators exposing him and telling people not to give any of his shit clicks, the better.

[@barkingmad9170]

While I appreciate the information, Bianca wasn’t attention seeking by wanting to be friends with people. Blaming the victim, especially since you yourself have a daughter, is really disheartening. As someone with BPD and Bipolar disorder and sensory issues, this really made me feel like you were excusing the killer’s behavior and like you believe she deserved it. 😕

[@sarkaztik3228]

Do you have proof of this? Did you ask her? Do you have eyewitness account? As much as you want to believe it, if you don't have proof then this post means little. (not saying she has proof either, but let's be honest, you definitely don't) Not saying Bianca is either of these things, but victims can do negative things, hell victims can even be terrible people. Doesn't mean they deserved to be murdered. Victims aren't suddenly without character faults just because they're murdered. If someone who is murdered was violent, stole from people, kicked puppies, and stole candy from babies, you don't ignore the facts to spare from hurting feelings. Your interpretation that this means "she deserved it" is your flawed thinking. That's how you chose to interpret it. This isn't disagreeing with the fact that she probably shouldn't have said this without proof, but the way you put it is just as bad, that we should ignore character faults simply because you think they make the murder seem forgivable.

[@ALE14227]

Barking Mad, I completely agree with you 😕

[@davidalan528]

Wait, whoa: Stephanie is reporting on what other people are saying about Bianca, including several different perspectives, one of which is: “Not that Bianca *deserved* it in any way, but there was things that she did that triggered certain events to happen.”. Again: that’s not *her* perspective, she is doing what she always does - thoroughly reporting on responses to events, including what the people and communities surrounding the victim and perpetrator think/feel. She then says really explicitly: “I’m not gonna talk about that here, I haven’t researched it enough”.

[@rileyc428]

Stephanie isn’t stating her opinion here, shes saying what other people had said about Bianca and their opinions of her. I agree that that opinion is incredibly insensitive and uninformed though…

[@limetreess]

I agree, her take in this video made me absolutely sick to my stomach (and all I do is listen to true crime all day long) this video is really tasteless and poorly done and honestly very disrespectful to Bianca.