Coffee and Crime Time: Sarm Heslop and The Siren Song

For 50% off your first Care/of subscription order, go to bit.ly/3SK1VZN to take the quiz and use code stephanieharlowe50
STEPHANIE'S SMALL BUSINESS SHOWCASE! Montain Made Clay mountainmadecl...
****Serial Web Series: • Serial: Episode 2 - Mabel
Order your Criminal Coffee today! criminalcoffee...
Check Out Crime Weekly!
Follow my podcast! Crime Weekly! crimeweeklypod...
Crime Weekly KZbin Channel- / @crimeweeklypodcast
Song at the end of the video by Amanda Lee Peers! • Amanda Lee Peers - Blo...
Intro song by Johnny Cummings! • Chemical Love
Song at the end of the video by Amanda Lee Peers! • Amanda Lee Peers - Blo...
Shop the Merch line! www.bonfire.co...
My coffee maker: amzn.to/2HeeLi8
Coffee I use: amzn.to/2KwGRU1
For business inquiries or case recommendations
✔ [e-mail]
_________________________________________________________
Get Social With Me
✿ Twitter: bit.ly/2MHaJ3k
✿ Instagram: bit.ly/2Zo0BTA
______________________________________________________________
❤Support Me On Patreon❤
bit.ly/2Ztm1xT
You can send me letters to my PO Box!
PO Box 16410
Rochester NY 14616-9998
*** There are affiliate links in this description box. If you click on them I receive a small commission, but trust that I will never suggest something to you that I do not use and believe in myself **

[@StephanieHarlowe]

For 50% off your first Care/of subscription order, go to bit.ly/3SK1VZN to take the quiz and use code stephanieharlowe50

[@ilonagasiorska7112]

❤

[@jetskii24]

Stephanie can you please cover my friends case. She has been missing for 80 days today... her name is Kaysey Yoder out of Eaton CO. There have been many news reports and I can provide any information directly from the detective amd what I've seen. She is a mother of 4 boys, one with microcephaly. He needs 24 hr care that she used to provide him with... please her us find Kaysey

[@bethclifford4314]

I tried scentbird with your code and got juicy couture and I really love it! I cant wait to try some more scents. thank you!

[@skraelmix]

Dear Stephanie: As a person who is leaving a 4 year long narcissistic and abusive relationship (and really struggling especially lately!) .. THANK YOU for posting this. -- 4 months free so far.

[@Jade-hr1mf]

Stay strong, I'm so proud of you. ❤ you're not alone and you WILL heal.

[@TrueCrime.and.DeathMetal]

Heck yes, sister 🙌🏻 enjoy that freedom you worked so hard for each and every day. It’s the most incredible and empowering feeling

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

❤ as someone who left 17 years ago, I know how hard it is. Look forward to getting through the tough financial years 💪 eventually years of feathering your own nest pays off. Look after yourself xx

[@L.K.Rydens]

Cheering you on! So proud, it's the hardest thing, know how strong you are! ❤️

[@susank2586]

no matter how hard it feels now. staynstrong and the longer youre away from him the healthier your life will get. ❤

[@Boro_Scorned]

As I sit barricaded in my bathroom dying my roots as a sad 40 something woman who once “shown” brightly, I think.. completely isolated from all friends and family, while my husband sulks in the following room, just close enough to make me very aware of his presence, after 24 hours of bickering of how he has no recollection of his destruction of our finances, and that I can’t leave because I’ve lost everyone and my credit, he’s oblivious and we appear to be speaking separate languages as all he cares about is his appearance, I bawled listening to your breakdown of exactly my life. Thank you so much Stephanie. I wish I could have known you. I wish I had someone in my life to say those words. Your support and honesty reach over the miles to reach me, a pitiful woman going crazy on the opposite coast, at least I know there’s a chance I’m not crazy and I may not be alone as it seems. I appreciate you, you’ve comforted me in the worst of times. Thank you. ❤

[@KellyB3]

So sorry for what you’re going through. YOU are NOT alone! ❤ Never forget that. Prayers for peace and comfort.♥️

[@Boro_Scorned]

@@KellyB3 thanks so much. This community that gathers to listen to Stephanie is so nice, very unique. I don’t feel as alone when I’m immersed in her videos. Thank you so much for the prayers. I’m trying to claw my way out of this hole, I’m so weak and I’m stuck. I’m thinking i should take Stephanie’s advice and look for support groups. Maybe that’ll help me get out of this insanity.

[@alauha94]

Definitely get some support! You deserve to feel supported and empowered. Good luck, and be brave! You're so worth it. ​

[@thefactanonverba]

Sending you love and strength. ❤ You’re not alone.

[@stardoll1995]

We are never as alone as we think we are please look for help in others and take care of yourself

[@PickYourPoisons85]

The local police there are TRASH! They are cover-up artists! My cousin was murdered there a few years back. He (a grown man )was found hanging from his shower curtain rod in a room that looked like there was a scuffle. His "girlfriend" was on a plane fleeing with her other boyfriend. They ruled it a suicide. He had defense marks on his hands and arms. My family member was NOT suicidal, and would never have killed himself. His best friend in high school committed suicide and it really hit him hard. I can't remember the amount of times he told me that he would never do that to the people he loved. Brad Gunn was a loving, caring, beautiful man. He was fiercely protective of his loved ones and was taken from a daughter, sisters, mother, and cousins. He was living the dream in the Vifgin Islands. Rest easy Brad. We know the truth and we love you!❤

[@DARKXREY]

I’m so sorry this has happened to your family. I hope Stephanie sees this. If this interests you, I know Kendall Rae has a Google form where families who have experienced tragedies can reach out to have their loved one’s case broadcasted and shared on her channel. Regardless, may love be with you and your family. Rest in peace Brad.

[@coletteremie]

Thank you for sharing Brad’s story. He sounds like a charismatic and loving person who lived life to the fullest. He deserves justice and I’m sorry to hear he and your family didn’t receive it from the police. But now I, and hopefully anyone else who reads your comment, will add him to list of victims I’ll keep in my thoughts and prayers. Sending love to you and your family 💙

[@danimasek]

I'm so sorry. It must be so frustrating to have no justice. I can only imagine how angry this must make you all.

[@kenjiyoutube9]

❤

[@bucketree]

So sorry for your loss, this is truly disturbing, I hope this case helps his if it is at all possible

[@listensister8808]

It is so maddening when the very qualities that your partner said they loved about you become what they say they hate you for at the end.

[@StephanieHarlowe]

They hate themselves. They envy you. Never forget that

[@razz7898]

This is exactly what happened to me. I didn't understand what was happening, but now, thanks to therapy, I get it. My ex is 🗑

[@bentondevilliers3767]

Yup, exactly where I find myself at the moment

[@marionsicard6479]

@@bentondevilliers3767Godspeed. Ask for help and be smart. It’s dangerous but worth it to reclaim you!!

[@CaseyMarie11-11]

Hugs 🫂 ​@@bentondevilliers3767

[@raychelcaliber4941]

please consider covering the bizarre disappearance of Gage Daniel(6yrs old) and Chloie Leverette(8yrs old). Their grandparents had custody of both children. On September 23rd 2013 a blazing house fire was put out by firefighters. The burnt remains of the elderly couple were found down in the basement lying side-by-side on the concrete floor. The basement door stayed locked at all times because that's where the man's tools were kept. The charred remains of their beloved dog were located, and even their little yellow parakeet. BIZARRELY NO remains of the children could be located at the scene, whatsoever. Investigators say that the only item missing from the home was a large safe. To this day Gage and Chloie have never been seen or heard from again.

[@cassandrawelch2391]

I second this

[@imjustagirl]

Please cover this!!!

[@raychelcaliber4941]

@StephanieHarlowe

[@madeline9668]

👏🏻👏🏻

[@jjuicyyjos]

this one !!!!

[@AngelaBruns84]

Stephanie your description of how narcissists pick their victims has got me in tears. I was in a 14 year marriage that developed into hell for me. 7 years after his passing I still have so many complicated feelings and I often think there is something wrong with me. I am sending you so much love right now. Thank you ❤

[@StephanieHarlowe]

I feel you 🥹

[@thing_under_the_stairs]

I am in the same place. I grew up with a narcissistic parent, and I'm still recovering into my 40's. All of my heart, respect, and support go out to you both.

[@Undercovergirl-gx4zc]

I was also in a marriage for 17 years and the emotional abuse I endure is still affecting me 22 years after the divorce. Therapy hasn’t helped me and I’ve been seeing a therapist for years now. I get so depressed that some days life isn’t worth living.

[@allybrooke7240]

YES

[@aleksandralempart8305]

Same

[@oldsoul3609]

❤one of the most difficult things to do is getting up everyday & moving through life when ur struggling & want nothing more than to stay in bed ... I appreciate Stephanie not just saying u'll get through difficult times but actually being an example & showing what getting through it looks like❤

[@StephanieHarlowe]

Awww thank you so much! Some days are better than others and some days you just have to pretend

[@valerieteahan-tebby2440]

You always help your encourage your followers Love ya girl @@StephanieHarlowe 💕

[@snackbarqueen]

fake it until you make it is my life’s motto sometimes….hang in there Stephanie Harlowe, you’re an AMAZING woman and you’re stronger than you think ❤ Thank you for being a great example for all of us !

[@lindahodge5024]

I'm going through that too,stay strong,Love Stepphanie too,gives us something to look forward too.

[@Ladyfingers-333]

STEPHANIE IS THE MEDICINE 💕💕💕🥹🥹🥹💪💪💪

[@d6375]

Stephanie "im unable to do multi part series right now." You go girl, take all the you time. Also Stephanie "here's a 1.5 hour video" 😳

[@ariaaa_g]

I ain't complaining 😂

[@alinamitrea6177]

So... are you complaining?! Or what??😅

[@ariaaa_g]

@@jennifersquires1523 huh?? she clearly said that Stephanie should take all the time she needs, and she's just surprised that regardless of personal issues, Stephanie still releases a long video. How is that narcissistic? That word truly lost it's meaning at this point....

[@kayleeiacino624]

right less work for me to make sure i am listening to the right part so i can listen at work

[@kayleeiacino624]

@@jennifersquires1523 what tf are you on bro

[@melanielangham7033]

15,668.92 dollars has been donated by Criminal Coffee company so far. I was just telling my husband we need to start purchasing Criminal Coffee and explained why. I only knew of the Preble Penny donation. Thanks for everything you do Stephanie and Derrick, y'all are awesome.

[@StephanieHarlowe]

❤️❤️❤️ thank you!

[@CaseyMarie11-11]

​@@StephanieHarlowe hope you're doing ok ❤ whatever is going on,I fully believe you will walk out of it stronger than ever 💜💜💜

[@rachelsrockscanada]

You literally explained every single sign of a narcissist crystal clear. That is my husband. I know that you must have dealt with this first hand because it felt like it was all coming from my heart and mouth. We are survivors. I am still in the process of being discarded by my narcissist. But this is only temporary. You are helping people today and always. Sending a little piece of my heart to you. ❤

[@jeyyran]

Wishing you all the best in getting away from that piece of shit!!

[@thefactanonverba]

Please be strong, there is so much life to be lived after a narcissist, it will be so worth it. As you said it’s temporary, sending you love, I can tell you’re a strong woman. ❤

[@FastNCurious88]

I left mine almost 2 months ago after 13 years. Be brave. Stay strong 💪🏻 ❤

[@LaceTheGem612]

My cousin was dealing with one of these demons up until last week when he sh*t her in the head and then unalived himself. Mind you their 4yr old daughter witnessed it all and told police when they arrived everything that happened. My cousin is in the hospital with good vitals but still fighting. She is that bright light that all of us wished they were. She is the " If I love them enough they'll change" but she still never deserved this. I've been there but was able to get away. I wish she would have before it got this far. Thank you Stephanie for being so transparent. It is appreciated

[@nicolaball3313]

🙏🙏🙏

[@CaseyMarie11-11]

Prayers for your cousin,her daughter and your family 🙏🏼❤

[@LaceTheGem612]

Thank you

[@USAneedsGOD]

I am praying for you and your cousin, and for the little girl that witnessed this horrific incident. My heart goes out to all of you.❤

[@ErinH-430]

That poor little girl. Wishing your cousin and her daughter the best.

[@Sunsetdreamer0]

Between this channel and crime weekly, you put a lot of work into these cases and i just wanted to say I appreciate and see your passion for true crime. You are real, raw and empathetic to the victims and their families.❤ thank you Stephanie

[@StephanieHarlowe]

Thank you so much for your kind words!

[@manofultimatepotatos]

Before I get to the case itself in the vid, idk if it's just me but there's something about Stephanie's strut through the doorway in the intro that gives off "here to slay" energy and I love it.

[@StephanieHarlowe]

I am here to stay 😘

[@manofultimatepotatos]

@@StephanieHarlowe bless

[@britmecole]

​@@StephanieHarlowe To stay and slay ❤️

[@vjc25]

You talking about narcissists is so therapeutic, as someone who grew up with a violent, narcissistic father. Thank you. It was truly healing and validating to hear your thoughts.

[@xNeaxAnnex]

Thank you Stephanie for being so raw and real. In order to get support it’s easier when you know people have gone through it also. You are amazing Ms. Harlowe

[@StephS503]

Totally agree with that!

[@Nova_the_eclectic_witch]

Well said, that's why I love her content as she's just like myself. Raw, honest, and truly real.

[@angelasandersbooks]

I couldn't agree more. I felt every word she said. ❤

[@jansmith2658]

I’m concerned she’s going through again … now😒 That puty is getting hammered 😢

[@achristine80]

Stephanie’s ongoing description of a Narcissist, proves she’s genuinely dealt with one! They are unfortunately abundant.

[@philosopherwithin]

28:14 You totally *nailed* the secret inner life of partners of narcissists, Steph. Preach!!!

[@StephanieHarlowe]

How lonley and isolating it is

[@anniekidd892]

Stephanie, I am sure you're aware there are people trapped in narcissistic abusive entanglements, who are watching this and can not comment publicly for fear of it being seen by their abuser. You are helping them. You are giving them strength and courage. You are seeing them. You might be saving lives for that. Thank you. 💫

[@JezzaM77]

A narcissist treats people like a to-go coffee cup... As long as the cup has coffee in it, it's important to them. As soon as the cup is empty, they throw it in the trash.

[@amykh7647]

That's a fantastic description. Absolutely spot on.

[@Andreamom001]

What? Are you saying it’s the victim’s fault for running out of “coffee”? If only the narcissist’s love interest could keep themselves full of coffee, everything would be fine…?

[@cris_ad]

@@Andreamom001...? Nothing will ever be "fine" with a narcissist. Stop looking for offense where there is none. Re-read the statement without the defensive attitude.

[@mandytoliver38]

Perfect description.

[@JezzaM77]

I think you've missed the point.@@Andreamom001

[@katiespall764]

I feel spoiled! A new Stephanie video and crime weekly today! So excited!! Happy Easter 🐰🐣 to those who celebrate!!!

[@StephanieHarlowe]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@mack5651]

me too! fr came from the crime weekly video immediately to this one

[@valerieteahan-tebby2440]

lol I did the same thing @@mack5651

[@MerryB621]

it's an easter miracle!

[@Camey71073]

I was thinking the exact same thing

[@saydvoncripps]

Thank you Stephanie for caring about an English girl far from home. Much love from London.

[@MeadTheValkyrie]

Thank you for going so deep. It’s obvious this topic (narcissist) is extremely personal for you. My father is a narcissist. He is now in a place with his health that he WANTS me there to take care of him. It’s so freeing when you recognize them and their disorder. The issue is they are unable to change. A narcissist is unable to recognize their own behavior, so they won’t recognize they are actual narcissists. Even if you TELL them, they will say you are crazy. My entire life I have allowed my father to emotionally manipulate me. They make you crave their approval. I was love bombed as a child. So his betrayal was more painful. His favorite thing was to tell ME who I was or who I wasn’t. I would tell him I wanted to do something as a career and he would say, “You don’t want to do that. That’s not you. Do you know how hard it is to do that?” Then he would go on and on about all the negative aspects. I wonder how much more satisfied in life I would have been had he supported some of my dreams. I thought he knew everything because he was my dad. He loved to feed me fast food 3 to 4 times a day then call me fat. He did the same with my sister who now weighs 340 lbs. He loves to call people and speak horribly about my sister and I. He even calls us and talks bad to us about the other. He often either exaggerates or lies all together about us. Now he is alone, he has literally ran off my sister who won’t speak to him. He can do anything he wants that interests him, but refuses to take care of himself medically. He then expects me to stay with him and help him with his meds, his doctor appointments, any calls that need to be made and cook and clean his house. He calls me “mama” when he is upset. When he speaks to me it’s with a high pitched whiney voice, but he speaks to his realtors and business people normally. Also, I live an hour and a half away, so going to him means I leave my family to help him. Keep in mind he drives to Dairy Queen everyday to get himself a chili dog and a milk shake, but tells me he can’t walk into the kitchen. I am setting boundaries and making him do things for himself. Of course he says, “I just need someone here with me! I am sorry to bother you!” Before he hangs up on me. Sorry to vent. But thanks for giving me a place to do so. I think it’s time for a cognitive test.

[@bananayummyable]

Please put up boundaries. Protect YOURSELF. He will always protect himself over you, so you must be “selfish” and prioritise yourself.

[@MeadTheValkyrie]

@@bananayummyable you are so right. He is certainly prioritizing himself at all times. Today, after ANOTHER day of telling him what day it is. Not because he is innocent capable of knowing, but because he is eating 300 mg THC gummies every few hours while taking pain meds 2 to 3 times a day. He told me he is enjoying himself. He is hanging out with his dead mom and dad and a little fairy dressed in purple that was dancing around his room. I said, “well, I’m glad YOU’RE having fun, but it’s freaking ground hog day for me.” When all that got me was an, “I hear you.” I added, “Well, I have people calling me telling me you you are a pill head, dad. And I am telling them, no. You aren’t a pill head. You ARE a gummy head. And you might be enjoying the hallucinations with your dead parents and the dancing fairy, but everyone else thinks you’re just messed up. And that means I may be forced to get you a cognitive test. Because if you can’t tell someone what day it is, then you certainly can’t take care of your own business affairs or your own finances. And that means you need to be put in a nursing home where you are fully cared for.” He quickly responded, “I just need to get my ass up and get a calender and mark the days off.”😂

[@aleksandralempart8305]

You need boundaries. I'd go NC personally

[@MeadTheValkyrie]

@@aleksandralempart8305 I have gone NC a few times. Now I take breaks. I definitely control the direction of our relationship now. And I call him out every time I see his behavior. It’s just exhausting. If he wasn’t really in such need right now, I would be less available to him. I have come to the conclusion that I only do what I WANT to do. I am doing for him now because I am choosing to. But I am choosing it for ME. I am doing what I feel is right. He is actually on his best behavior at the moment. 😂

[@GenXfrom75]

Knowing Stephanie is still putting these videos out despite her own personal concerns really helps me get my azz out of bed and do what needs doing… some days I wanna just give up…

[@houseofsolomon2440]

I wonder if yt deletes 'a**' comments 🤷‍♂️

[@kittikat2318]

@@houseofsolomon2440they sure do like to delete mine, even with asterisks! Either that, or ppl are reporting the comments. Gets it deleted, & that person blocked for 24 hrs,!

[@GenXfrom75]

@@houseofsolomon2440 it happens sometimes. I just choose to edit myself to avoid it.

[@relationshit3]

you can do it!!!

[@kirstyfilby8004]

Stephanie, I can fell your pain coming across in your videos and whatever you're going though is absolutely private, I just want you to know you are so valued and appreciated, keep strong lovely and know that we are all here in the masses for you, and even though you can't feel it and are a typical ADHD er there is a hug so tight here for you xxx

[@Juli-ge4yp]

What a kind & touching message.

[@CaseyMarie11-11]

❤❤❤

[@pennylott6962]

I’ve been thinking the same thing. It’s palpable and I’ve worried about her before this video. Sending hugs, Stephanie! You’re stronger than you realize, and have a whole army behind you!💖

[@irish2979]

Fishing for info pretending to care

[@kirstyfilby8004]

@@irish2979 nope, and what a vapid comment vile little troll

[@skjaldmaer81]

Thanks Stephanie for explaining narcissism, and what it looks like. I never knew about it until my mom fell into a trap after the loss of my dad. Unfortunately I have done all I can to do to make her see, and it's to no avail. People, please be safe, these folks are a nightmare 😔

[@rolondablakely5132]

Yes! The Bonnie and Clyde series was hands down, the best series I've ever seen on you tube. If there ever were a YT Oscars/Emmy (insert prestigious award) you earned one for the Bonnie and Clyde series!!!

[@andreaduckett4588]

That story forever will live in my head ❤

[@feliciaobryan6156]

That is my favorite also. It could be made into a mini series. I would definitely look at it

[@RebeccaAnneDowney]

So good! Same with the Natalie Woods series. Learned so much from Miss Harlowe ❤

[@ashtroidd]

Stephanie your description of a narcissist is SPOT ON. My ex love bombed me, then when he was shitty it was because “no one ever stays” and past trauma and I, an empath, wanted to help. He broke up with me over ELEVEN YEARS AGO, and GIRL he still watches my social media, he still cold messages me. It’s scary but so spot on

[@MJeanJellyBean]

Girl!!!!!! Steph!!!!! That was a S T R O N G as fuck explanation of a narcissist!! 🎉🎉🎉 today is the 1st day of my lease me and 3 kids finally escaped after 13 years Easter Sunday would have been our anniversary. But instead I moved out. Finally. I'm just terrified of ANYTHING going wrong. I don't want to let my kids down any further- I can't. Thank you for the support push- I needed that. I needed to hear everything you said. I love you girl!!! Xoxoxo

[@heathercarroll9243]

Getting over the hell a narcissist puts you through is so hard. It’s been 9 yrs and the asshole will still pop up every now and then. It took me years and a lot of support to put the pieces back together. My heart is with you Stephanie.

[@kat0726]

I’m in a marriage with a very dangerous narcissist like you describe, and after 9 years of marriage & living in hell, I have put our house on the Market and I’m getting out. I deserve happiness & and life without living in fear for my life every single day & I will continue to fight for that until I’m finally free! Stephanie is very correct about everything she described a narcissist to be, and they go after happy & independent people to suck the life out of them, and this is what my husband has done to me for 9 years and I still show love & compassion to everyone, but I feel like a shell of who I used to be. It’s a horrible life to live, and no matter how long it takes you to get out, please get out and fight for the happiness you deserve ❤

[@Hanna-rv8wy]

Good luck and please be safe! I'm so happy you're making the moves towards a better life because you deserve it

[@DepressiveCookie]

Wishing you safety and a happy life! Best of luck to you❤️❤️

[@allietracy3590]

I’m in a relationship going on 8 years, exactly what Steph described. My family washed their hands of me and everything I have is in his name. I’m never getting out.

[@callysto11]

Note to self, Dont visit the US Virgin Islands. Pick another vacation spot. Lets cripple their tourist industry! I'm sure the locals will start caring once they feel the pain of empty restaurants and hotels. I think this was my favorite episode, Stephanie! You poured your heart and soul into this one. Thank you 🙏

[@brittney4u932]

Too late. Their tourism has been hit since the early 2000s. I have family there and use to live there myseld. The police department is a joke even when it comes to locals getting justice.

[@Ms.Brightside77]

Well I wrote out a comment regarding your talk on a narcissist around 32 minute mark. Now it’s gone. But you explained my ex to a tee. I was with him from 1995-2022. He is a covert. Came back at 58 minute mark bc again it’s like you know my ex. The part about caring about how things look is sooooo true. My nightmare started once the door closed. I just need you to know how much this validates me. Questioning even still if I got it wrong. I have no regrets about leaving. None. But hearing people talk about him I still find myself googling a narcissist. So thank you. Your words mean more to me than you’ll ever know. ❤

[@wikkedlildifranco]

Stephanie, we have your back, too! You've been mentioning you're going through a hard time lately, and I'm hoping that things end up working themselves out for you. I appreciate all of your content, and you still showing up while you navigate these new challenges. Wishing you the best, always.

[@Stormandlilly]

I can feel the pain in your voice explaining a narcissist…. You’ve been there …. I’ve been there …. You just spoke out for us that haven’t

[@cleopatra444]

The Queen treating us on Easter sunday!!??🐰🐣🪺😱😱😱😱 love yooooouuu!!!!!😭💞💞💞

[@sarahpak5237]

You describe the narcissist so perfectly, I hate that others have gone through this, but it is also comforting to hear it explained so well, it’s confirmation that I’m not crazy. It’s been 4 years no contact with the narcissist, but I still often doubt myself it has been a constant battle. But I’m almost myself again.

[@user-ds7us7zy1g]

I hope you do get back to the old you again and soon. I unfortunately won't. I'm 62 and one of the narcissist's in my family is still alive , the other is dead, yah. My 89 year old mom has been that way for as long as I can remember. As a child we were constantly lied to and humiliated. She and her husband (my dad, but I don't claim him), literally tried to out do the other I think. Unfortunately I still have contact with this woman. I no longer take any of her shit and call her out on her lies. A narcissist hates that, and yes tells other she wasn't ever lying,I was. It is so gratifying when I can call her out on a lie and have pics to prove she was lying. Yes she still tries to say I was the one that lied. Both parents would use physical force to make sure is kids kept our mouths shut so they could be the heros of whatever story other family members,friends and total strangers would discuss. They always had to one up the story. I now do get the enjoyment of threatening the same physical force on her now when she still tries to one up anyone's story. Lol

[@heavenjb]

2 years and I’m still in my apt afraid of people. I stopped crying at 1.5 yrs but I’m so frozen now? Nowhere near myself. He’s got his 540 shorty down grade a new doggie and his online male hookups I can’t talk to any man yet…I’m still frozen. I was abused physically before him he swooped in and this? Is worse than what I went thru before

[@alicianwinter]

I was on St. John when this happened and it was so scary. I was actually just there last week as well, and brought this case up to the locals because it still bothers me. Everyone seems to agree that he did it, especially with the new info that came out from his ex-wife. The police there are as shady as they come, worse in the BVI due to the drug smuggling. I want justice for her so badly, I still follow the Facebook page for updates. 😔❤

[@rhithebee6021]

Love you Stephanie I know you're going through a lot personally rn, so THANK you for continuing to put videos out, your videos and crime weekly literally makes my week ❤❤

[@justcharlie6038]

I be vibing so hard to your intro song I'm disappointed for the split second between the music and then your wonderful greeting which immediately makes me smile big ❤

[@mosaicgirl4002]

Me too!

[@Snpdrgon]

It gets better every time I hear it!

[@jackieholmes8098]

What is the name of the opening song?? I love it! Thank you😊

[@justcharlie6038]

@@jackieholmes8098 chemical love Johnny Cummings

[@kaitiejeffcoat4733]

Left a narcissistic abusive relationship 13 years ago and every piece of advice you're giving is spot on! Hoping anyone in the comments dealing with similar situations can get out safely!

[@StephanieHarlowe]

I am so glad you got away!

[@hannabanana592]

Thank you so much, Stephanie, for talking about how narcissists capture and torture their victims. My husband literally dropped his act right after our wedding and he destroyed me by the end of our first two years together. It took me another 2 years to get free, and it took me more than 10 years to rebuild my self esteem. I still get flash backs of how I felt in certain situations, almost like PTSD. I'm still working on my anxiety and trust issues almost 20 years later. It's so scary how many narcissists are out there and how they study you too be what you're looking for, and then turn on you to break you down piece by piece and demean you for the very qualities that they initially praised you for. I hope more people are able to recognize their cycles of abuse. Thank you for sharing this story. I hope Sarma's family is able to get her justice ❤

[@brittanyking1521]

It is ptsd darling. It destroys the best parts of you and reroutes your brain. It takes a long to get over. There are so many of us and it’s comforting to see. You’re doing great 😊

[@hannabanana592]

@@brittanyking1521 Thank you so much for your kind words! We should have an official support group ❤️

[@Mouseluv80]

Stephanie when you were talking about a narcissist I cried and cried, that's what happened to me for 20 yrs, and I've been on my own for 3 but I pretty much don't have anybody for support I mean I go to therapy but as for anything else no I'm afraid to leave my apartment or to talk to ppl or even put this out there is hard for me 😢😢

[@teenatruesdell487]

You have us and we hear you loud and clear. Hugs friend!❤

[@arlenesee392]

It gets easier I promise, I got away 13 years ago and I jumped every time I heard a noise and was afraid he was after me. He finally moved away and I got some peace... until he moved back but I was stronger then and our sons were older. Even my boys wouldn't speak to him....now thirteen years later. I told him the boys can see him as they are adults now but I don't want anything to do with him. So far so good. But he will affect me for the rest of my life, but I take my stand now and don't give an inch... I will pray for you! You can do it. ❤

[@Mouseluv80]

@@arlenesee392 tysm u don't understand how much that really means to me right now because that's how it is and where I live I'm stuck in a bad city can't get bk home and this building has neighbors all around like top, bottom side side so every noise every fight I hear, my anxiety and stress ha I feel like if someone just says hi I'll have a heart attack because I'm that on edge

[@SamanthaWarriner-xr3qz]

I feel you, i got diagnosed with agoraphobia 12 years ago due to been with a controlling narcissist for 4 years, i haven't been with him for 10 years and it still has a massive affect on my life and probably will for the rest of my lfe and I am 38.

[@Mouseluv80]

@@SamanthaWarriner-xr3qz I'm 43 and I feel like my life is over because I'm so paralyzed to do anything and I'm definitely sick of being single but the thought of being with someone else makes me wanna dig a hole 18 feet so nobody can find me and hurt me 😒

[@loulou7188]

Going through it now. Never felt more lonely and miserable in my life. Looping in my head is “is it me?” ❤️ to you Stephanie - whatever you’ve experienced, I felt that ❤️

[@MrsJedmo]

It is absolutely NOT YOU ❤ hang in there! It takes a long time to be able to look back and fully see how bad the narcissist is... you will get there 🙏🙏

[@loulou7188]

@@MrsJedmo ❤️

[@jamiedubuc1232]

Thank you for the video Stephanie, but please take care of yourself and put yourself first. If you need some time, by all means you should take it and we will gladly wait 💕 hoping the best for you and your close ones (the community too) 💕 Happy easter everyone

[@gypsyvanner4700]

I needed this video so bad 😭 i just left my narcissistic fiance a few weeks ago, and i am now recognizing so many red flags. Thank you for going so deep into the narcissism, hopefully it helps another person get away from their abuser too ❤

[@shaestewart5261]

Stephanie! Yes! Your series of videos on Bonnie and Clyde is absolutely some of your best work ever! It’s definitely a tough choice, but I’m pretty sure it’s my favorite of the many different topics you have covered. In fact, I thought the videos were so well done and I liked them so much that I recommended the series to my dad who is a retired FBI special agent and a total history buff. My dad enjoyed them so much he recommended them to my brother; my brother is a retired police captain who is presently a professor of criminal justice and history., so Bonnie and Clyde is up his alley for sure. The three of us have had many hours of lively discussion…thanks to you and your Bonnie and Clyde super deep dive. I am not at all ashamed to say that we are a family of total dorks. After reading, our favorite common interest is watching documentaries or listening to podcasts; after which we break them down in order to critically discuss any and all noteworthy points. When we choose to discuss something it’s because the creator’s superior critical thinking is evident in the compelling questions they ask, their writing and/or speaking clearly demonstrates not only an attention to detail but also an obvious ability to organize said details into a meaningful and intentional project, whatever that project may be. Finally, I know I can speak for my dad and brother along with myself when I say there is no greater indicator of intelligence and ability than a wicked sense of humor coupled with a spontaneous creativity that is neither self conscious nor seeks external validation. The reason Stephanie is so good at what she does is because she truly embodies the aforementioned qualities. That is why my family members and I absolutely appreciate her content. To dorks like us, a writer, a podcaster, any creator of Stephanie’s caliber is a total fucking rock star!

[@Juli-ge4yp]

Such a thoughtful message.

[@donnasalvador678]

Thank you for highlighting an artist. I’m an artist and it’s very hard to get my work seen outside of the tiny town I live in. I was on my way to creative a dream life and even opened a gallery with several other artists. But enter the narcissist and my life, mental and physical health plummeted. I’m much older than most people think of as relevant anymore and I ended up homeless with my reputation crushed because of the charm and charisma of that narcissist. I’m clawing and scratching my way back though. I refuse to be completely destroyed. I still have me and I’m still awesome! 😊

[@moonflower9403]

I was with a terrible narcissist for almost 15yrs. When I finally left, it was TERRIBLE. I ENDED uo with a fractured c2, broken neck. I’ve had 6 surgeries. I don’t wish these types of ppl on anyone. I’m still going through surgeries

[@EZDPhilly]

Kudos to you Stephanie 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻what didn’t kill you made you so strong and sparked your advocacy! Your insight into the narcissist’s relationship manipulations is spot on and hopefully has helped others to recognize and escape!

[@rachaelcox4104]

You describing a narcissist..made me cry. It's been three years.. three years of me protecting my children. Three years of me getting myself back together and learning who I am. I'm still not fully healed yet, but what you said is so accurate. I've never in my life heard someone describe somebody so accurately. I feel like you were talking about my ex😢... I still carry a gun. I would have a panic attack without it

[@lucygresham3012]

Massive hug to you Ladyface...thank you for still being here when you probably would rather run away with the circus xx

[@StephanieHarlowe]

🤣🤣🤣 strangely accurate

[@lucygresham3012]

@@StephanieHarlowe lol I often want to run away with the circus too...i know a kindred spirit!xx

[@stephaniedavila9511]

Would you do a video on missing A&M student Caleb Harris from Corpus Christi, TX? He seems to have just vanished without a trace after walking his dog and ordering an Uber eats delivery at 3:00 am. He disappeared without his keys, personal items, and barefoot. It's so strange.

[@brookeashleigh88]

Stephanie in every video lately you are showing us you are hurting. I hope you can find love, joy and peace. Also fuck anyone who doesn't appreciate you. You fill our days with dependable information. You are killing it.

[@SamanthaLeigh7]

Me on a road trip with my husband and kids, randomly belts out 🗣️📣 SHE'S LIKE A SICKNESS IN MY BRAIN 🎵

[@spookyboo22]

So glad you are covering this story. I hope the family get justice X

[@madisonmccann1221]

Your breakdown of the narcissist and their behavior during a relationship was spot on. One got me good when I was just 18. Young, naive, sweet, and strong-willed. He broke me. Many times over. Soon as I built back up. There he was again. He truly was a 6'2" 11 year old trapped in a miserable man's body. After YEARS of back and forth contact I finally officially severed that trauma bond. He still comes back every now and then, trying to finish me off but the girl he could break doesn't exist anymore. I'm healed, stronger than before, and with a man who loves every bit of force I bring and I can be completely vulnerable with him and I am safe. I ignore his messages and block whatever number he's reached me on this time. A narcissist really will try to destroy you. They live for it. It's all they have. But the best way to win against a toxic person is not to play.

[@vakkerdame8557]

Mental note: do not vacay in the Virgin Islands. If you disappear no one cares and LE will not properly investigate your disappearance. Got it!

[@coristevenson3013]

I think you have done one hell of a job. Thank you for talking about this. One thing people are forgetting about is that he sold the dinghy first. He also advertised that he had “new furnishings” on the boat. No one searched for a missing anchor, or rope line. I have spoken with several locals and several boat captains and they all say just outside where Ryan was moored, it’s all bull sharks. When I first called the police in USVI I told them I was married to this guy and I told them a ton of things he did to me and that he went to jail for beating me up. They asked me to “go ahead and call the anonymous tip line” I said NO, can I speak with someone important now??? They took my information and called me back about a week later and basically told me I was a liar. Ryan said he was never married so… I had to prove it to the police. I emailed photos, marriage license and divorce decree. The police still didn’t care at all, even after they found out he went to jail for abuse. As soon as the news was out on Nancy Grace his parents were on the island and his boat. His parents have always stood up for him and helped him hide his bad behavior. They have friends in high places and have always gotten his criminal records expunged. Not sure if any of it is related but I was told by many, many people that the USVI police are very corrupt and will accept bribes…. I mean… it kinda looks that way tho….

[@eileentaylor787]

Hi everyone Happy Easter from Scotland, would love a coffee just like Stephanie makes in the intro...❤❤❤

[@Hot4Black]

Hey also Scotland!!! Feel like our police could've handled this way better. Shocking how this case was conducted, so sad for the family 😢

[@scarletteshadow]

I endured 14 years with a Narcissist. I survived. I am still in flight or fight and am hypervigilant 24/7. Thank you, Stephanie, for discussing Narcissists...education is always the first solid step! Much love and hugs to you in your difficult time!! You are in my prayers!

[@Im.sorry.ms.jackson]

Thank you, Stephanie. So many people NEEDED to hear your advice on narcissist. You may have saved someone.

[@SamanthaLeigh7]

Aww, Nev is your editor for this channel? I love that for you guys! 🩷

[@Lighthouse4297]

Covert malignant narcs are the worst. Ended a 4-year relationship last April. im at the 1 year mark of NC. Thank you, Stephanie. You've been through it and understand ❤

[@karynellis5364]

Thank you for sharing this. It's been over 20 years since I left an abusive relationship. Even though he was arrested twice, and declared to the court that he had threatened and physically harmed me (the judge required him to say this as part of his plea bargain) he continued to try to convince others- including my family- that I was in the wrong. It is important that everyone understands how narcissists/sociopaths work. They are skilled at lying and presenting other people as the problem. As a HSP I was an attractive target for him. We are better able to protect ourselves with knowledge. You are helping so many people in presenting these cases. I see your pain but I also see that you are strong, intelligent and incredibly empathetic. You deserve the love that you share with others.

[@vvolfesbane5358]

The second I heard “narcissist” and “boat” I was SCREAMING Natalie Wood. Have to go back and watch that series again!

[@RogueMomma25]

I grew up with a parent with BPD. Ignoring and setting up strong boundaries are crucial. I moved to the opposite coast to get away.

[@amytrumpler3653]

Stephanie going in on Narcissists every week, is truly one of my greatest joys right now LOL

[@danielleelizaharpz]

My dear crime wife friend of so many years .. I have no other words but I love you , I am so proud of you .. and you are amazing xo Always here whenever you need me ! But you are a shining example of the kind of woman I want to be xo thank you for always reminding me to stand tall and be the best version of me I can be and that no matter how tough shit gets I can always push through xo you mean so so much to me and I am so grateful to you xo whatever you need whenever you need it .. I got you ❤

[@meredithhoward3733]

Low- key, these videos are therapy sessions for Stephanie. She be breaking down the characteristics of Narcissists with her Whole. Chest. 💞

[@caseyengland7810]

You could saved yourself a lot of time and said: 'Sarm Heslop disappeared from her boyfriends boat. Authorities did absolutely NOTHING to investigate what happened, continue to do nothing and stonewall the family. The End' It's infuriating! This kind of apathy happens too often in law enforcement and there is no accountability.

[@lfbutterfly]

Thank you for this story and sharing tactics of a Toxic Narcissist. I live with one.

[@kristinleigh7445]

I was thinking the same thing, this is a very Natalie Wood situation. I hope the truth comes out soon. My heart is with Sarm's family.

[@Kemmelskreations]

OMG. U r the first utuber i have seen to promote small businesses. Thank u for doing that. Handmade businesses are suffering from mass produced junk that is out there flooding sites we try to sell on. Thank u from the bottom of my heart. U truly are an amazing creator with a heart of gold❤

[@StephanieHarlowe]

Small businesses need all the support they can get!

[@philosopherwithin]

There is just something about Steph saying,”she disappeared from her boyfriend’s yacht” that made stop, grab a coffee, put a cat in my lap and hunker in. From the first sentence my brain is screaming “ohhhh, this ain’t right!” 4:55

[@DuckingHEdoublehockeysticks]

Not the same as a spouse, but as someone with a narcissist father your descriptions are spot on. Only worthy when you can provide something to them. Love bombing one sibling to alienate another. Never accepting one single fault as admitting to anything would tumble the house of cards. When you question the abusive treatment you are told ‘do you think you’re something special then? That everyone should tip toe around you?’. The sheer amount of acquaintances who tell me what a ‘good guy’ he is, how lucky I am. Narcissists can be anyone, and surviving one is truly a long road.

[@elizabethtimm4621]

Thank you so much for talking about the narcissistic abuse that so many of us have suffered. I would have never thought I’d fall for someone like that I’m self confident raising four children by myself full time job in a managerial position. Yet I fell for it and I definitely began to feel crazy. It was t until I was on the other side of it that I realized it was abuse. THANK YOU Stephanie for talking about it! It’s such an uncomfortable topic not many people will tackle it!

[@stepheniefelker4183]

A coffee and crime time AND new crime weekly vid today ❤ this is better than any possible Easter basket!

[@ginabellantoni5108]

Thank you Stephanie for your advice and vulnerability. That could not have been easy to share/ speak about. Sending you lots of healing vibes

[@onesafaeeka5340]

❤❤❤❤❤ so needed these words. Healing from 11 years of relationship with a narcissist and I don't even know what levels of toxic personality he was. Thank you so much !

[@summertime35]

You absolutely outdid yourself with the Bonnie and Clyde series. To this day I feel like I have been there and that I actually knew them.

[@m.l.639]

I am very private about this topic, but I want you to know, Stephanie, that a lot of your insights on abusers helped me to leave back in November. I had a death in the family that provided enough money for me to purchase a small house and a vehicle capable of bringing my animals (my business - my snakes), my tortoise, a carry-on piece of luggage with pjs and undies, the reptile equipment, and a single blanket and pillow. Drove 700 miles north to an empty house after barely being allowed to drive for years. But I made it! Still can barely eat five months later, but I registered my business in January and retired from work outside of that. I live in peace and quiet now and have stopped jumping up every time I hear a sound and the nightmares have 95% stopped now too. I learned just enough video by video of yours to realize I had to go and Ty because I am very certain you played a large role in saving my life.

[@coristevenson3013]

Congratulations!! The first step is always the hardest. You will carry a scar but in time it will fade. I’m proud of you!

[@StephanieHarlowe]

I’m so glad to hear it!

[@m.l.639]

@@coristevenson3013 thank you so much! Yes it was scary! I moved from the gulf coast where I lived all my life to the Midwest. It was a wild ride, but I sleep so well now :). Thank you again.

[@m.l.639]

@@StephanieHarlowe thank you!

[@hmbogi]

WOW, Stephanie, you're really pumping out the fantastic content. I hope you're still taking care of yourself hun. 😊

[@L.K.Rydens]

Agree with Stephanie, they pick the most brightly shining stars because they can't stand anything shining that doesn't shine just for them, and if you outshine them, they will try to smother you flame. 4 years out for me, still in therapy and shifting my thinking, but getting out is the best gift I have ever given myself ❤️❤️ Stay strong and stay safe, guys 💕✨🍀

[@Mo0may]

Your description of a narcissist and narcissistic abuse is SPOT ON. ❤

[@goldwithy]

I'm 65 years old and spent all but the last 20 in a succession of toxic relationships, starting with my mother. I was fortunate to physically survive my first marriage. I got out of the cycle to save my disabled son. Now I have been with the love of my life for 20 years and he is supporting me to get the therapy I so badly need. It is possible to escape, it is very hard, but healing and help is out there. Don't let the b%&*#@ds wear you down. Solidarity and support to anyone who has suffered at the hands of a narcissist.

[@redders895]

The missing podcast did a great episode about Sarm and they cover lots more (mainly British cases), definitely worth a listen, her Mother was on there and her friends x

[@kittikat2318]

That’s where I 1st heard this case! Love that show!! Pandora Sykes has a great voice.

[@kaitlynpaige2937]

A few years ago i left an abusive relationship from someone who was definitely a narcissist although in hindsight i feel there where much deeper issues at hand. It took abouta year to shed the fight or flight mindsight. Idk what your going through but your not alone. Your a very smart woman and im sure most days your probably looking better than you may be feeling but let me tell you. Your doing it with grace and your very strong, keep your head up and continue embracing your goddess energy Ms. Stephanie and thank you for another awesome coffee and crime time ❤

[@kellywebster3485]

Yay, a new video from my favorite KZbinr and podcaster. I know you are going through a hard time so I hope you remember you are wonderful.

[@andib1834]

I love the way that you support small businesses. The way you word everything is so perfect and I think it's such a good thing to get supporters to go support small businesses. There's so many that don't get the recognition they deserve. Thank you for all you do!

[@NatalieBrt]

Yay!!! Another upload from Stephanie. Btw why does this girl not have 1mil subscribers yet? Love❤ her. From South Africa

[@mochacappuccino4797]

We need get her to the 1M subs mark!!!

[@NatalieBrt]

​@@mochacappuccino4797 Yeah I see a lot of people watch her videos but do not subscribe

[@andrekgerber]

Also from SA. She’s amazing.

[@Juli-ge4yp]

How could she not have a million subscribers?? There are people videoing themselves doing household chores and getting subscribers, which is shocking. Stephanie puts so much of herself into her videos. She truly has a gift.

[@dakotz13]

I relate so much to your experience and the way you explain it, is impeccable. “They’re literally like demons” YES. I’ve said this so many times. We’re here for you too Stephanie ❤️

[@Moonbunny55]

How fitting that the name of the boat was Siren Song: Siren, in Greek mythology, a creature half bird and half woman who lured sailors to destruction by the sweetness of her song. 👹

[@dennissems]

I was thinking about this too. 😊

[@newthoughtshypnosisyoung2741]

Wish I had heard you talk about narcissists 5 years ago when I was trying to get out of the relationship, it’s taken years to start to realise and start to recover from it. You have let me know it wasn’t me going mad. Thank you x

[@karenslayer3189]

I was JUST begging for some form of Stephanie on Easter Sunday. Would have appreciated Derek as well but hey I am not here complaining. I’m grateful 🙏🙏 thanks Steph!

[@dishy_forlife4162]

Happy Easter to you… Crime Weekly posted today too!

[@PutinsMommyNeverHuggedHim]

derek is here too! crime weekly posted

[@karenslayer3189]

Thanks y’all I couldn’t believe it when I saw the back to back vids. My only problem was deciding which to watch first

[@lucyvirgo3391]

Im from southampton england and have genuinely never heard of sarm or the case! Thank you for covering.

[@franbrooks605]

I cannot imagine the frustration , rage and powerlessness Sarm's Mom and family are feeling. And thank you for the breakdown on what it's like being in a relationship (or orbit) is like. Took me down a memory lane that ended 23 years ago. Every word you said is TRUE. Everything that attracted him to me were the very things he wanted to take from me. The VIP were so unprofessional, inept and most likely corrupt. How can this be undone 😢

[@Danisuzette]

My mom is a narcissist and I was completely under her thumb until age 34! At that point I FLED a thousand miles away in the middle of nowhere alone. I've even stayed single for 20 years because I was controlled for so long I just want to be alone.

[@brookejanssen7251]

Thank you Stephanie. You really are appreciated.❤❤❤

[@kellygreen1981]

1:02:33 yep, fellow narcissistic abuse survivor here. What you said was spot on! It's been 15 years away from the narc but still things crop up past trauma. Stay strong people!