TRYING THE VIRAL TIKTOK PICKLE DRINK!

[@carrieburk9559]

Biggest lesson I’ve learned in life is just because someone has it worse than you, doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid.

[@sarah0119_]

I’ve also really been struggling with my anxiety, and hearing that someone else is feeling what I’m feeling makes it a little bit less horrible. So thank you for sharing with us and being so vulnerable.❤️❤️

[@Taylor13swift119]

I love Flynn and Colleen always matching each others energy

[@amberlgur]

Thanks for being so vulnerable. This is something that a lot of people (especially women) struggle with! You are not alone ❤

[@authorgirlpetparent]

Colleen- no matter what wonderful things you have in the present, if the nervous system is stuck and disregulated from a past trauma, things like the lingering nightmares you're describing will occur. It's a form of PTSD. The traumatic energy is trapped in the body and the nervous system is running the show. Please consider looking into a trauma healing modality. What's worked best for me has been Somatic Experiencing. I've spent decades in talk therapies, workshops, seminars, and various trauma-informed therapies addressing my lifelong battle with c-PTSD from horrifically abusive childhood events. It is all finally beginning to resolve, thanks to this approach (and the incredible SE facilitator I work with). Please check it out. If I had a dollar for every time I've said out loud, "Yep, that's me." in 10 years of watching you, I'd be inviting you to my huge, private beach to look for rocks. 😘

[@dominikar3056]

Hi Colleen! Just listened to you describing how you experience anxiety. I’ve recently seen “Inside out 2” and that movie exactly shows anxiety as you’ve described it. I strongly reccomend watching it especially for adults with anxiety. It has really helped me to visualise how my brain works while anxious. Hope that helps ❤

[@karloditomasso]

yes there are solution me too a lot of medicated anxietety crisis

[@annab394]

TTQ: I absolutely love your garden! Would you be willing to do a full tour of your garden in a first-person perspective so we can see everything? It's a dream garden/yard and I would love to see it fully to have ideas for my future home. Love you, Colleen! You are doing great and all of your feelings are valid even if that voice in your head are saying they aren't. To anyone wondering what the song is it's Butterfly by Deb Talan

[@rachelthomas4276]

Our sweet Colleen, you have every right to to express your feelings without fear of condemnation for not being grateful enough. I feel like you have just described motherhood perfectly. We are supposed to feel so lucky, and we are, but it’s also difficult, boring, frustrating, repetitive, exhausting and you lose yourself doing everything for everyone else. Some days it’s all consuming. We are either exhausted in pursuit of perfection, or we’re labelled as ungrateful and whiny complainers. Please vent your feelings to us and include the good, bad and everything in between. You are letting others out here know they are not alone. You have no idea how powerful that is. A great mom/wife/friend is a hot mess who knows when to vent in a healthy, productive way. Keep doing you, you are doing just perfectly ❤❤❤❤

[@lilamendelsohn4]

You’re a human being. No matter how “easy” or “blessed” you have it, you have emotions and traumas. We all have things that are hard, no matter where we are in life. Because we are human. Comparative suffering doesn’t work. You are allowed to feel that way and express it.

[@candacekent143]

Night terrors and sleep paralysis is so hard to deal with and then wake up and be your best as a mama. Taking that time for yourself to regulate is teaching your kids to care for themselves and making sure you are your best for them. You're an amazing mama and care so deeply about them. You are enough! You are doing enough and more!

[@cassiedondlinger7547]

somehow on the days where i feel most alone in my thoughts/emotions/feelings, i happen upon the perfect video of yours that helps validate how i’m feeling and affirms that i’m not the only one out there feeling the way i do. i have very vivid and ultra-realistic dreams/nightmares too and can relate so much to everything you described. my nightmares are so much worse in times where i’m feeling more stressed and overwhelmed, and can be totally unrelated to what’s causing the stress to begin with. thank you for being someone i can turn to on my rough adhd/anxiety/depression days. i really admire your openness and willingness to share with us-it truly makes a difference 💕

[@Sunnybrook-69]

Flynn is so self aware, intelligent, and polite! You and Erik have done a phenomenal job raising him to be the five year old he is today. He has every opportunity to use slang terms or to cut words short, especially for yes, but he doesn't. My grandmother would always remind us grandkids to stop saying yeah instead of yes. To this day I pay attention to Grammer so I notice how well spoken Flynn is. Great job, momma!! ❤😊

[@cassiemcqueary5352]

After everything you talked about and expressing your emotions the way you did and being so vulnerable with us and then hearing you sing that song at the end brought me to tears 💜 I needed this today. Thank you for always sharing and helping me know I'm not alone. I've been watching you since Flynn was a newborn. You have been through so much. Just know you still have so many people that love you. ❤

[@jessicaklein2903]

My mom passed away very unexpectedly last year and every time I see a butterfly 🦋 I think of her. I love seeing butterflies. ❤

[@jackiepuot]

the singing part made me emotional idk why i love when you sing colleen💜

[@lucyanabell6416]

The way you explained your anxiety is exactly how I have been feeling as well. The last few months have probably been some of my best, and here I am feeling this terrible anxiety. I have every reason to feel my best ever, it is so frustrating.

[@veronicawillis9049]

I have also been having really intense and scary dreams lately. Also very overwhelmed and can't keep up with the things I NEED to be doing. I understand that feeling and its so frustrating. Sending you love. Sending you happiness and piece of mind. I love you to the moon and back. Its hard to focus on all we do - even if its just getting up that day and remembering to eat a meal. You are doing amazing. Even when you feel like you aren't. I love you lady!

[@theserenecrane]

Feeling in a funk lately too. Stuck is such a good word. I congratulate myself for doing a load of dishes and feeding animals. 😢. I have been feeling so alone. Then your video came up and I got a ping of not feeling alone. I need therapy and to get back on anti-anxiety med.

[@karidanielle8838]

Colleen, you literally took some the words right out of my mouth! I was talking with and just venting with my husband the other day about how I'm go go go all day long yet somehow I get NOTHING done! The treadmill analogy was pretty spot on too! And this is why I love you so much and need your videos. I can talk and vent to someone all day long, but I feel like they just don't seem to get it, but you, unfortunately for you, you do.. And just knowing I'm not the only one just somehow helps so much. Love you and been a big fan for probably close to 10 years now.❤️

[@vickytaylor9155]

Nightmares like the ones you are having can be down to an iron deficiency and also a b12 deficiency. You might want to get checked out Colleen. It can not only give you nightmares, but can cause stress levels and cortisol to be high.

[@faye2942]

Sending you a big virtual hug, relating , and validating how you feel Colleen. Anxiety is hard some days, just know that with time, these thought and feelings will be more manageable. Be kind to yourself, your doing better than you feel you are ❤❤❤❤

[@margaretshannon36]

Awwwwwww the piano is so soothing

[@lizcaraballo7670]

Colleen your feelings are valid. Sending lots of love and positive vibes.

[@stephanie-fh2jd]

Colleen, everyone has the right to feel like that sometimes! Life isn't perfect and you can never fully avoid hard/uncomfortable things. I am so sorry you have to go through that, I've had traumatic dreams a few times and I definitely understand what you said about not being able to convince your brain that they didn't actually happen. You are so strong and beautiful and thank you for being vulnerable enough to share this with us because it helped me and I'm sure it'll help others as well :)

[@joco0592]

Despite the negative I've seen you go through, thank you for being open and vulnerable. It helps! ❤

[@mollykreitman9661]

7:15 a therapist a few years ago once shared with me, while I was also feeling the same way like a brat looking for pity, and I still do sometimes but anyways, she said "someone can have a broken leg and you could have a broken finger but that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt when you broke your finger" and then another therapist broke it down like maybe your friend has broken that same leg a lot so they don't even feel it anymore, and maybe breaking your finger was your first broken bone. or maybe your friend broke their leg doing something silly and stupid but you broke your finger rescuing someone from a burning building....like obviously I would never run into a burning building but the point is....everyone has their own battles happening and feeling guilty for being in pain will nit make the pain go away

[@LKGallop]

Loved hearing you sing and play the piano. What a beautiful song!

[@sarahleidhold740]

Colleen you have every right to be upset and anxious, as much as anyone else. Just because your external circumstances are great doesn’t mean you can’t feel internal discomfort and anxiety. You are valid always and regardless. Sending so much love to you!

[@limnav7197]

Hey colleen just wanted to tell u that it’s ok when u cry on the vlogs it’s ok for to just dump ur emotions on us we are here for u and u shouldn’t that u don’t want us to pitty you but I genuinely love when u cry to us and I just want u to be able to cry to us with out thinking the worse we love you so muchhhhg 🩵🩵🩵🩵 hope ur doing better !!

[@hannahcarr7782]

I don't know If your ever read this, but you never ever have to explain yourself, this is about mental health and you being open and talking about it. I wanted to say that I understand this intense dreams/nightmares, I have them alot and I would have intense anxiety all day, even for a few days, then I would dream it again as I'd be so anxious and your have to tell yourself it isn't real but it feels it and u can't shake off that intense anxiety feeling and emotion. I totally understand this seriously it is horrible. I wish you wouldnt have to explain yourself first all the time, we all understand you and are here and i enjoy watching you every morning ☺️ Also I've been watching you for years and can relate to you alot 💗

[@kaylialyson7837]

i just wanna give you the biggest hug, i love you and im here for you 🥺❤️

[@jahgust]

Once I understood my adhd symptoms, all of those things you are stressing about are indeed as real as anything. That said, once I got onto some meds, it made all the difference in seeing the symptoms of mud and depression as the disregulation of my brain chemistry will fool anyone into thinking the way you are. You have every right to feel what you feel. It’s not something you can turn on and off. The guilt about feeling depressed in the face of good things in your life is the rancid cherry your brain puts on top. Meds and your support teams are indeed important. Sending anti ADHD symptom vibes your way! ❤

[@keraganpaige6560]

Colleen, try to remind yourself that you are conditioned to apologize for your feelings, you do NOT have to explain yourself for having human emotions and you have every right to pour into your videos because they are YOURS we are all here to watch you and be with you in every state no matter what it is! A lot of us have been here since the beginning and we are not going anywhere, even if you cry in every video we love you so much we are family 🤍 you are loved, you are seen, you are understood, you are not alone, you are perfectly you! Don’t be so hard on the little girl inside of you!

[@KarlaEmmerson]

I was recently diagnosed with Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). For about 2 weeks out of the month I would be in the darkest place imaginable, the thoughts in my head scared me. I would go from my normal, happy self to a twisted ball of rage and agony overnight, with no hope of ever getting out alive. While I’m taking steps to improve the condition and it’s not working yet, it’s somewhat a relief to know the cause and that the thoughts are not ‘me’

[@Beautybymak15]

I turned on your vlog because they are a comfort for me, I was pregnant the same time as you and you quite literally were my only friend to experience that with-- i also have adhd and Ive been feeling exactly like you described and it helped to hear someone else describe it exactly as I was experiencing it! Thanks for always being on the same page as me. You are amazing.

[@lcangeleys]

Your voice is healing. That’s a true gift.

[@edenleighl]

Colleen. 9:57. You have EVERY right to complain and you have EVERY right to express sadness, frustration, anxiety. It doesn’t matter what you do/don’t have in life. Whether you’re homeless or whether you own a castle. Whether you have a low income or whether you have a 7 figure income. Every one is human, and everyone will have feelings and times in their lives where they feel like this. Please don’t feel like you’re “not allowed” to feel and express those things. And please don’t feel like you’re coming across as ungrateful etc because those are completely seperate things. Those who truly love and support you (regardless of whether they are your family, friends, or your fans) will never think less of you, will never twist your words to fit an agenda, will never think you’re being ungrateful. They know you’re human who has human emotions and feelings. You are doing such a wonderful job at being a mum, wife, sister, daughter, friend etc even if it may not feel like it! Please keep your chin up. Sending all the love and support from down here in little New Zealand. (Ps: You’re more than welcome to come visit our little slice of paradise and switch off for a while) ❤️

[@Asweetheartentertainment]

Your feeling matter! It’s doesn’t make you a bad person for expressing your feelings! I pray those dreams stop and you take each day one at a time. You are an amazing person ,mother, and wife! You are strong to express how you feel that’s is called strength and I hope it gave you a relief to talk about it! Will continue to pray for you! Blessings to you beautiful! And hope family !

[@maryhopcroft4263]

Colleen, I stay overstimulated all the time, I'm a mom of 1 and a wife, I look at my house and I know I need to do things, but I can't, I try though and I just feel defeated, and yet it makes me depressed when my house isn't in shape, I completely get it.

[@donkyman1000]

Hi Colleen! I also get really bad night terrors and sleep paralysis. Learned it was due the anxiety. I don’t know if this will help you, but something I do when I have night terrors or any dream that might put me in a mood, as soon as I wake up I try to make up a new ending for the dream in my head that ends up positive. I basically try to make the end as dumb as possible, and then either wake up or go back to sleep and it makes me feel better. Took me a while to master it, but it def at least helped me not be in a mood for the rest of the day.

[@Kean13]

Colleen ,i feel you when you talked about running on a treadmill and you cant stop even though its going so fast I see it more as swimming in the biggest ocean ever and you are in the middle of it , gotta swim otherwise you drown but when you almost reach land, the waves can make it soo difficult and push you away again . We gotta keep on swimming and eventually we will find more and more things or humans that helps us afloat❤

[@SpookyGeorxzge]

flynn has grown so much 🥺🥹

[@makenarose5933]

Put the pickle juice in the Dr Pepper!

[@karloditomasso]

Dr Pepper best 100% not tne same thing

[@mckaylahibley1816]

Yes Colleen put the pickle juice in it! My husband & I love a good pickled DR. Pepper!! 😋🥒 Also, you can go to “Sonic Drive Through” & ask for a pickled Dr. Pepper & they’ll give you one. It’s so good!! 🤩

[@Alyssa.Vee3]

A light hearted TTQ: Wesley reminds me so much of my toddler, Patrick. Is Wes much cheekier than you show us? He looks like he's got a very funny/sneaky/cheeky side to him. Ps my son was born in September '21, it was fun being pregnant at the same time as you. He also said Opatus for a short period of time 🐙 Pps. While I've got your attention - you explaining your feelings of overwhelm at the end of your days is literally just being the parent of young kids. Be kind to yourself.. as long as they're breathing/fed/watered and you and Erik can high five at the end of the day, you're doin the best you can. You've absolutely got this.

[@trineborgen]

You have every right to feel all and any feelings no matter how grateful and blessed you are, Colleen ❤ Just like every other human. Thank you for sharing your vulnerabiliry. I appreatiate you and all your emotions and feelings!

[@JinapherShakur]

I’m feeling the same way. It feels like every day has been bad lately for me. I hate anxiety! I’m praying it gets better. ❤ That song killed me!!

[@desiraering709]

Hi! I’ve been watching you for probably about 10 years now and I just wanted to say that I’m so proud of the person that you have grown into! When you were describing your anxiety in this video and used the example of the treadmill, I could not believe what I had just heard. You described that feeling perfect and I have very much so felt that before. I do not have nearly as much of the responsibilities that you have but feeling so unaccomplished at the end of the day is real. I struggle with it hard and feel that exact same panic. It’s like you wanted to get so much done and had all of these plans for that day in your head but it didn’t get done so now that anxiety is just weighing on your shoulders. At that point I even freeze up sometimes and really don’t get anything done ! I love you girl. Keep going.

[@foreverrnicolee]

Butterflies are signs from heaven, someone you loved and lost is trying to tell you it’s going to be okay. I always find when I’m stressing out without fail a butterfly flies by.

[@jill6560]

If your therapist gave you any tips to get over those awful nightmares, please shareeeee. It happens to me and it sets my whole day out awful and it’s so hard to get past it. I get what you mean 100% , like I feel myself panicking about what “happened” to me and it was just a dream. Not many people get what I mean

[@LisamarieNHtoTx]

It’s actually great you used the treadmill as an analogy. Movement and exercise would actually be a very helpful thing. I have ADHD and my anxiety is sooo bad when I’m not active. The extra activity that WE have I believe turns into anxiety especially at night when things slow down. I used to work out in the morning and it would really set the mood for my day. After a while I craved working out especially lifting. I know you don’t work out but starting with a good fast brisk walk and try lifting. Get Flynn involved. It MAY help turn that negative wnergy into powerful energy. Just a suggestion .

[@ajs8186]

Aw Colleen, so sorry to hear you are feeling so anxious and I hope you feel brighter soon. Are you able to get some extra help in the house for things like laundry and household chores - those chores are relentless and take up so much precious time. Do the children help to tidy away after themselves; they are all old enough to start working on putting away a toy they have finished playing with, before they get another toy out. Sending you a virtual hug.Xx

[@jessicamorales6110]

Just want to say I was watching on my tv and felt drawn to pull my phone out to comment. Just because you have a beautiful life and family and are privileged does not mean you can’t feel sad or panicked or mad or whatever the heck you want! You are human and it is so valid to feel whatever you need to feel whenever you need to feel it. Could it be worse for you yes of course but are you allowed to feel your feelings also yes of course. Hang in there ❤️

[@RayneMillaray]

Colleen. Being a parent IS HARD. Being a parent of a 5-year-old and toddler twins is even harder. Being a neurodivergent parent of 3 kids and exposing your parenting to an internet that has already proven itself unfriendly? Whoo, girl. I don't know how you have any moments without anxiety and overwhelm. You're doing just fine. And your house doesn't have to be spotless, love. Those kids won't remember piles of laundry. They're gonna remember dance parties and galaxy baths. Butterflies have a lot of meanings depending on the culture. But I think in your case, it's your ancestors knowing you need a little extra strength right now. You got this, babe.

[@Shea3232]

Beautiful Colleen, That was NOT a pity party, you are NOT a spoiled brat!! Colleen, you are HUMAN!! You se allowed to express your feelings, you are allowed to be true to your feelings!Please know your feelings are absolutely valid. I’m in complete tears hearing you speak, I relate so much. I literally cried with with you im still crying!! 🥹😭 I struggle myself with very bad countless nightmares, anxiety etc. I Love you so much Colleen, I love you so freaking much Beautiful, Brave, Strong, WORTHY QUEEN, NEVER forget your WORTH!! You are NEVER alone!! 🥹 Again, That was NOT a pity party, you are NOT a spoiled brat, YOU ARE HUMAN COLLEEN!! YOU are allowed to express your feelings!! You have every right to feel your feelings!! Your feelings are valid!! You are NOT alone!! Sending you ((((BIG, yet gentle virtual HUGS)))) Did I mention how much I LOVE YOU Beautiful, Brave, Strong, & absolutely LOVED WARRIOR Colleen? I’m emotional with you!! Still crying, but We got this!! You are NEVER alone!! 🥹💜💜

[@monicaaa7]

tortilla talk question: what is the most romantic thing you've ever experienced?

[@Freckles694]

Butterfly by lily meola is an amazing song!

[@vickibourque2127]

Mental illness is not something we can control, but what we can control is giving ourselves self-compassion and be kind to yourself too. This too shall pass ❤ Try to shift your focus, don't let yourself stay in those spiraling thoughts for too long. It's normal that they come when you live with an anxiety disorder, but it can get better if you don't feed it with your attention too much.

[@heathermorrison1681]

Yes, perspective is great, but it doesn’t mean your feelings are not real! We all love you and we thank you for sharing your feelings - it helps us just as much as it helps you I’m sure. ❤

[@naamalev6884]

TTQ : have you ever tried crocheting?? I feel like you’d really be good at it 💗 if you do ever try it I think you should make a positive potato 🥔 I’ve been really into making them lately and I think you would love them to 😂 anyways love you so much ❤️

[@ethibbs7189]

I get really bad sleep paralysis and crazy dreams like that too and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Maybe looking into a therapist that specializes in these issues would help? Or talking to your doctor. The feelings definitely stick with me during the day and sometimes for days. Something I've thought about trying is to control my dreams as I fall asleep. I haven't read too much about it, but I've read enough to think it could help. When I wake up crying or sweating, I want to try to focus on something happy or settling and be able to lucid dream myself back to sleep. I think it's a cool concept anyways, but I'm hoping it could actually help.

[@Kaboonga810]

I love the videos where you try food and drinks!!!

[@emilyluttrell9650]

Hi Colleen, I’m not sure If you’ve read “The Body Keeps Score”, but it’s a great read to understand how our body stores trauma physically after the trauma has occurred. It may help!

[@alwayzjello]

Being a mom and a human is really really hard and overwhelming.

[@levitunstall1526]

Flynn has grown up so much

[@Moosemagney]

I have a suggestion! Could you hire a housekeeper? Or even someone to do laundry! You have a large family and a large house! Maybe someone could help with a couple of the chores and you would have more time to do things you live! Your butterfly song was so beautiful!!!

[@briellevlogs8847]

Colleen, as somebody who suffers from intense anxiety as well I totally understand your analogy and exactly what you’re saying, and I feel the same way often and I am super grateful for my family and my life and my health and all of the things… Unfortunately, anxiety is not rational and it’s our bodies fight or flight mode when there’s no reason to have that and so all I can say is It’s good that your therapy (I am too am in therapy for my anxiety and I also work in the mental health field)and hopefully you can work through some of it in that but some days are just hard and some days I have to go to work and continue with all of my responsibilities feeling like I have this underlying fear or on the verge of a panic attack and it sucks but thankfully, those feelings do pass and I always have to remember that so you’re not alone. Keep your head up and there’s other out there that feel the same way as you and understand!!! ❤❤❤ Sending love and peace your way, and hoping that those feelings pass for you!

[@katieweeman5007]

lol at Wesley’s pronunciation of poop!! My toddler says noise exactly like something with a thick australian accent saying “no” it cracks me up!!

[@yvettewhite828]

U describe the way I see my world . How to function Yes ! It keeps coming back.

[@annacowell3336]

One minute ago. Thank you. Having such a crappy evening and was honestly just hoping for this.

[@trippyerinsd]

Bro, scary dreams every night? I would be crying and feeling wiiiiilllllld. Kudos for hanging in there. ❤

[@DesMowadeng]

I think you would love popping bubble wrap.

[@briellevlogs8847]

I already wrote a comment, but I just wanted to share the analogy. I tell my friends and family who don’t experience anxiety how I feel and I always say it’s like I’m in a body of water and I am constantly having to doggy paddle just to keep my head above the water and that if I stop doggy paddling, then it’s over and it’s the feeling of fight or flight for no reason, and I feel like whether it’s a relaxing day or a busy day, when I am feeling really anxious, there’s nothing I can do to try to rationalize it… It’s literally an imbalance in our brain and I just try to cope with it the best that I can by distracting myself or finding some thing that helps me distract or meditate and Anxiety and mental health stuff is tough! But we can I’ll be in this together, and thankfully there are other others that understand and can empathize with you!❤❤❤❤

[@thejojoandkimmyadventures721]

That song ❤ You captured something awful, and turned it into something beautiful. I melted listening to it. Thank you❤ Hope you’re feeling better. You’re doing fucking great, love.

[@leahbrooker6593]

Anxiety is a chemical imbalance, it’s not like you are purposefully causing it. In some cases, it can be bad enough that medication is needed. I suffer from this, but with my medication, I am able to live. Don’t blame yourself for this.

[@nicolajane3968]

“Here it takes all the running you can do to keep in the same place” The Red Queen, Alice Through the Looking Glass

[@Wendisty]

Hi Colleen, your feelings are valid. It doesn't matter how many good things you have in your life, you are a human being with thoughts and emotions. It's okay ❤

[@TinkerBombShells]

I love when colleen plays piano and sings ❤

[@monicaaa7]

tortilla talk question: where do you see yourself in five years?

[@missclinesjourney5709]

TortillaTalkComment - COLLEEEEEEN! I stopped by a crystal shop recently to get some fertility crystals (been TTC for 2 years so I’m willing to try anything at this point) and I couldn’t believe how many names of the stones and crystals I recognized from watching your vlog! Now my 6 precious stones live on my nightstand *hopefully* sending me all the baby dust 🤞🏼 Please keep up all the rock content!

[@Santothek]

Sometimes, you just need to cry and get it out. There's nothing wrong with that. Eric has the kids, give yourself a good cry, hon. Sending love your way.

[@sherriejeffords7443]

Hi Colleen! it breaks my heart to hear you say that you do not have a right to have emotions because of what you have! I also suffer from anxiety and depression and I know how you’re feeling all too well and sometimes when I’m feeling that way, I try to put myself in a different place. What I mean by that is, if your children were to ever come to you in the future and tell you what you’re telling us now and also tell you that they did not feel they had a right to be depressed or anxious or sad, what would you tell them? I hope that might help? God bless!

[@Alyssa.Vee3]

I thought for sure you were going to start singing "come my lady, come come my lady. You're my butterfly, sugar baby." 😂 So deep! 😜

[@margaretshannon36]

Was this an original song ? You should start a Spotify list of you playing purely like this

[@annab394]

I found it! It's Butterfly by Deb Talan

[@unicornhypnotist]

TTQ Speaking of dreams, do you have any funny stories about waking up from dreams? I was having a bad dream once, and realized I was dreaming, but couldnt wake up to stop dreaming. I actually said out loud, "Help! Wake me up!" and my then boyfriend, now husband, heard me and woke me up. Around the same time period, he had a dream, and he was talking in his sleep, and said something about having to get back and sit on my eggs to keep them warm, so they'll hatch." 😂 I Love you guys so much!! ❤❤❤❤❤

[@HazardousThoughts98]

Hey Colleen, I'm going through the same thing right now. Not that I'm thinking your trauma any less important as mine, but I'm seriously overwhelmed in my head, even though I know my life is so good with a wife, children and a home and warm meals every day. I have dreams that I'm battling people on the street and getting stabbed, though can't feel it, I'm still aware that I'm dying.

[@Zomy_Streams]

Once again you’ve taken the words right out of my mouth. I can relate to the feeling of running on the treadmill completely. As much as I’d love to have a day to just do nothing and relax, on those days I feel an intensely uncomfortable feeling like I’m just wasting time. I feel more in control and calmer when I have a more productive day but it leaves me feeling physically and mentally exhausted. I have no idea how to find the balance. I also have ADHD, so maybe it’s related.

[@bdo2982]

I really recommend looking into seeing a naturopathic dr. And someone who is certified in biomagnetic adjustment therapy. I promise it’s life changing.

[@tabbylouise]

Awww Colleen I have never related to something so much as how you described what you’re feeling. I think it’s a neurodivergent thing especially when you feel so overwhelmed but you’re not sure exactly why. Feeling like you don’t have enough time to do things or you’re lacking in certain things that you could or should be doing is honestly one of the worst feelings. If you succeed at certain tasks you feel like you can’t be proud or content because then you think about how you lacked in the other things that haven’t been done because there wasn’t enough time in the day. But as long as you’re trying and still making time for yourself to relax and take breaks and have fun that’s all anyone can ask of you. Anxiety is one of the worst things in the world and I’m so glad that you do speak openly about it, it means a lot because so many other people struggle your not alone! I myself have literally been sat in bed a few times and I felt so anxious my stomach was doing summersalts for over an hour and I couldn’t get it to stop, there was absolutely no trigger no reason I could think of it just happenes and it’s so hard. With the anxiety dreams too, it may not have been real but your experience was real and it’s terrifying. I have woken up before and have felt some kind of anxiety that I can not explain. It’s more rare for me but it literally feels like an attack and it feels like the presents of evil. That’s the only words I can’t think of to describe it’s like a pit in my stomach. I wish I could take your anxiety away! I guess the only thing we can do is try to learn different coping methods and try and plant our day, week and month. It’s never going to be exactly how we went it planned but life is hard and that’s okay! Life is so hard and scary it’s insane, it’s alright not to feel happy and good all the time, no one does they just hide it better. Doing what you did coming outside for fresh air and walking when you’re feeling overwhelmed is exactly the right thing to do. I know you can get through this, your very loved and appreciated by me and so many other people, and I promise your struggles are valid and your not alone in this ❤

[@Damenschu2]

Hey Colleen, isn't that those feelings can happen to anyone despite their "good" or "bad" life-circumstance a reminder or form of the sentence "Money (in the bigger scheme of what that provides - a home, food, pets etc) can't buy you happiness"? We usually accept the truth of this sentence if we look up the pay grade to make sure no one "can have everything". But the unfairness of life kind of is: some people with money are really happy, some are not, some people of middle class are happy and some are not and so further and so forth in all directions. So it makes total sense that you can experience depression and anxiety. But the voice inside our heads that tell us we are not allowed to have depression and anxiety is part of depression and anxiety. So if we believe those words we will get worse not better. That's at least what I have experienced and my therapist has told me. :D Also I really relate to the treadmill-metaphor. My picture is crawling out of a black hole and then starting to run as far away as possible but being tied to the hole by an elastic band that wants to drag me back in. And the fear o that hole (the worst parts of depression) makes me run faster and faster but still I am tied and eventually have to go back (at least some steps). I think I have to go back because I had to realize that the diagnosis of depression kind of comes with the promise that it will come back and happen again. Maybe not that bad maybe as bad as it was. So I have to accept that. So what I try to do is not running away when the band pulls but prepare myself every time a little bit better for that hole and the way out. Kind of packing a suitcase with a little light inside. Whatever the light might be. For me right now the light is: I have survived it before, I have the knowledge that there is a way out even if everything in me tries to tell me otherwise. The first time I just had my loved ones and my therapist tell me that there is a way out. But the second, third ... time I have the knowledge from myself. I did it before so I can do it again. Maybe it takes a lot of time but I can do it because I have done it. And then I crawl out of the hole walk away and when the band pulls, I have to accept it, go some steps back and then go forward again. Because ignoring it, will put me more steps back than accepting it and deal with it right away. Or something like that. Now I feel weird :D

[@jeannine8400]

Flynn still calls them "spider wubs". So cute!

[@CathiLamb]

Love the slime sound effects 😂 I jumped up to make your Hello Dolly bars, started them and realized I didn’t have coconut. I made them without, we’ll see how they turn out 🤞🤞🤞

[@amberbrady8714]

Wesley saying POOP is Collen saying PINK 😂😂

[@willemijn8005]

That GIANT pickle jar with those MASSIVE pickles is littery the most American thing I've ever seen😂😂

[@happyinhi7192]

Beautiful singing and piano playing, Colleen--thank you for sharing!

[@marypatriciadorsey3206]

QUESTION: 1. When you bought that house did you know how big and beautiful and how much produce you would have? 2. Have you or Eric considered putting in bee hives and selling honey?

[@happymama1015]

Literally watching you while on the treadmill 😂😂😂

[@playwithmeinsecondlife6129]

I love you Colleen! Hugs and kisses in the hopes you feel better.🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘🥰😍🤩 I love to hear you sing!

[@connordehaven7341]

the band that you were talking about with the song "Butterfly" was Crazy Town

[@Julia_8605]

I just love when you sing Colleen, it makes me so emotional💕

[@happylilfrog]

I have been loving the slime content!