Why "The Ocean" Sucks | Smartypants Presentation

Zach Reino explains why humans should not explore the ocean with reasons including, but not limited to: nightmare fish, trash, and horrible mysteries. To watch more Smartypants presentations, sign up for Dropout: signup.dropout...
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[@merrynchristian868]

the "you drove me here, we carpooled" section was 10/10.

[@TheWingus]

“Oh you live together?” Katie is a blade

[@Saint0liver]

8:37 for anyone interested

[@onetrickgirl]

This video made me laugh 100 million times per period of time.

[@theiaraine]

I challenge anyone to disprove this

[@mickleman52]

this is true I just looked this up.

[@jasonhahn2181]

I agree. I have no idea how many times I went to go look for this one thing and watched it repeatedly since it originally came out as a full episode.

[@AR15andGOD]

Xy chroms male man he

[@theiaraine]

@@AR15andGOD wow good comment, you deserve a prize -_-

[@chixenlegjo]

I can’t believe this only got 10 views after an entire period of time.

[@shinankoku2]

Don’t worry. In another period of time it’ll be one million!

[@Edgemaster72]

Big Ocean doesn't want the people to know where sand comes from. Wake up sheeple, sand is bones, bones is sand!

[@fatmn]

@@shinankoku2 369k views in an entire period of time and counting!

[@brothertaddeus]

Bones are sand. Sand is bones. WHALES EAT THE BONES INTO SAND!!

[@franzgretel]

7:56

[@sanityisrelative]

@@franzgretel This has lived in my brain since it aired.

[@0-M72-0]

No, but seriously. Bones are sand. Sand is bones. But the whales thankfully don’t eat the bones into sand.

[@felixeisenmenger1914]

The bones are their money!

[@mickleman52]

@@felixeisenmenger1914 So are the worms!

[@profxlo0]

The Q&A portion devolving into "how did I get here?" was brilliant

[@DetWheresmycoffee-smh]

It answered alot of things

[@Amber-_-Shull]

Sand is bones Bones is sand The whales eat the bones into sand

[@JmeB-so3fd]

words to live by

[@peytonalexander5300]

This sentence structure has powerful I Think You Should Leave energy.

[@sallysugar5191]

7:32 there is actually an animal called zombie worms that eat the bones of whales that fall to the bottom of the ocean by burrowing into them. so worse than what zach thought

[@thenagazai]

holy shit, that's way worse

[@gar-feels4438]

Their poop is sand

[@timothyhicks3643]

Oh you just mean boneworms! Polite little fellows

[@Zaihanisme]

@@gar-feels4438 they actually fully digest the bones but parrotfish eat coral and really poop sand

[@all3ykat79]

Sand IS bone shit... In the Maldives they tested the sand and found that over 90% of it is the ground up remains of coral excreted by the parrot fish. So SAND IS CORAL BONE SHIT .

[@biofoot7874]

Katie is ride or die for literally any cause

[@Davidtaylershow]

The pinnacle of "yes and"

[@d_1044]

Why did he make merch and not make a single “sand is bones” tshirt? I would’ve worn that

[@muaddibby]

probably because only some sand is bones

[@cozybones4644]

@@muaddibby all bones is sand but not all sand is bones. sort of a fingers and thumb situation

[@fugyfruit]

Out of all of the presentations this one is probably in my top 5 sometimes I'd rewatch the episode just for this one.

[@jedinxf7]

probably? there is only one better and it's spworm lol

[@fugyfruit]

@jedinxf7 if I have to say my top five are Charcuterie Bodies Ocean Rollercoasters Birds They're not in order because which one's the best in my opinion really depends on my mood. I also really like Craigslist and Sitcoms but they're both very short so I can't put them in the top 5

[@Zulfur_ds]

completely unrelated but siffrin spotted

[@Chinadollz101]

@@fugyfruit My top five (in no particular order) would be charcuterie, ocean, emails, roller coasters, and honorary degrees

[@nwkborn99]

Patrick drawing the line at sand being bone shit killed me

[@pineapplefrostyfruits9225]

As someone who lived by the ocean and is obsessed with the ocean: Everything about this was absolutely 100% correct, except for one thing: It's not the whales that eat the bones into sand. It's worse than whales, it's worms. Bone-worms in the ocean eat all the bones (including whale bones) and the worms eat the bones into sand. So it's WORSE-

[@the.youtube.of.sam.gotter]

They really do eat the bones into sand though?

[@TheLucidChiba]

This carries, as we all know worms make dirt and the dirt is the earth, worms are god.

[@MersenneTwister]

@@the.youtube.of.sam.gotter reefs are effectively large piles of coral bones that parrot fish eat and then poop out white sand

[@TehCoasca]

This was probably my favorite presentation the whole season

[@kyraxx]

No love for the spworm?

[@caseydriscoll5331]

It’s reasonably more compelling than it should be.

[@randomim42]

My favorite was bringing back swing

[@caratsomnia8110]

7:56 Katie having a whole ass epiphany while Patrick is in full denial at "bones is sand, sand is bones"🤣

[@ewyeth7713]

the term 'the enthralled' is an extremely compelling horror premise, its telling you gave it to dolphins who are in fact the greatest horrors we have

[@Hawk7886]

The only thing is that I don't think you'd have to enthrall dolphins to get them to do unspeakable evil. You'd just make a basic elevator pitch and they'd probably just roll with it.

[@MFhljR]

no one talks about this enough.

[@matthewnesci3172]

0:52 this is incorrect. The Roman emperor Caligula declared war on the ocean and after a brief skirmish declared victory.

[@yggdra1477]

I hereby daclare my victory in my war against your comment. It is therefore defeated and moot

[@matthewnesci3172]

@yggdra1477 take this like and comments as the spoils of your war

[@HellaGust]

Also, the Dutch. Not only have they managed to successfully defend against the ocean, they've actually *claimed territory* from it.

[@lilyt18]

That tracks. Very Caligula coded.

[@darthbob88]

@@HellaGust Yeah, the Delta and Zuiderzee Works are among the Seven Modern Wonders of the World, along with the Channel Tunnel and Panama Canal.

[@CurlyXpress]

Was already a fan. Clips of this particular crazy rant was what convinced me to pay for the subscription SAND IS BONES BONES ARE SAND

[@classy2329]

I just want to appreciate the unfathomable joke because fathoms are the measure of depth in water, it was funny, that's all

[@juliadandy6019]

Thank you!! I had no idea!! I loved that bit "no pun intended", "no pun taken", "pun given anyway" 😂

[@mikkeljt]

pun taken

[@allocater2]

So when the ship is in water too deep to measure by lowering an olden-timey fathom rope down until it hits the ground, the ocean becomes unfathomable!

[@ProfDCoy]

pun accepted, embraced, and taken into my care

[@kainevins9927]

1:17 I remember seeing on Tumblr how sad it is that Zach Reino and Raphael Chestang are on opposite ends of a war (pro moon vs anti-moon)

[@_nicolefwong]

thank you dropout for making zach reino's genius accessible to all

[@kazukishinomiya9424]

Per period of time is my new favourite metric

[@saskiascott8181]

Sounds like something Trump would say

[@LiamLivesOn]

Do we know if we are getting a season 2 of this? I absolutely love the concept!

[@lukijez]

They actually just finished shooting it like 2 days ago. It's gonna take a good few months before its released, but its on its way! (hopefully)

[@seanmsw5977]

UM, ACTUALLY, it has been disproven that sharks can smell blood from a mile away, or even from the other end of a swimming pool. UM, ACTUALLY TOO, CORRECTIVE BOOGALOO, Zach is half right about the sand. It's not made of bones, but a non-insignifcant amount of sand can be attributed to the parrot fish nomming on coral rocks and pooping out beach. Poop is sand. Sand is poop. Parrot Fish poops beach.

[@Landrassa1]

So what you're saying is that the coral rocks are bone, the parrot fish eats the coral rock and sand is BONE POOP.

[@marei2222]

fun fact, humans are more sensitive to the smell of rain than sharks are to the smell of blood

[@alecLogan]

Also, when whales _do_ incidentally eat bones, they turn it into ambergris, which was an element of perfumes and got the fishing industry buff for quite some time.

[@NatrixHasYou]

​@@alecLoganAmbergris, baby boy!

[@codyoftheinternet]

Coral bones! Bones are sand, sand are bones, the parrot fish eat the bones into sand!

[@A_T216]

I love how tickled Jacob is by this presentation right off the bat.

[@Kmichaelcook87]

10:21 “we as humans love to put on wax wings and fly into the sun or whatever” 😂

[@JmeB-so3fd]

Zach did the funniest presentation so far on Smartypants

[@Owlbear26]

It’s a tie between this one and Demi’s cookout presentation for me /lh

[@randomim42]

Ross's presentation on Swing was fantastic

[@delotara]

The new and improved anatomy one is tied for first to me! the spworm will never not fail to make me laugh 😂

[@bjdhaak]

Not just the moon, also the Dutch!

[@crazysasha1374]

Yeah! They partially stopped its expanse!

[@enayaganguly4687]

arguably the same thing

[@lockstocknl]

@@enayaganguly4687as a Dutch I totally agree with this statement

[@Cloudypants12]

He is pyschic! 2 fiber optic cables were cut in the Baltic Sea and a bunch was cut before the Paris Olympics.

[@AndrewPowerSM]

Zach bringing up the Kanto Region getting as big a pop out of me as it did the first time I watched this.

[@courtenay19]

Have you heard Zach’s pokemon trainer character on comedy bang bang? It’s so good!

[@therealjohnrenzi1817]

This presentation is the most relatable. Swing Revival Revival is the one most likely to improve society. WNBA > NBA is the one I am most likely to use as evidence to win an argument. Honorary Degree is the one I want a follow-up on the most. And Wrestling is Drag is the most correct.

[@mickleman52]

Is PFT a permanent member of this show, or is he just Zach's ride home? I'm getting some strong Zach's ride home vibes, as has already put on his sunglasses.

[@Robcobes]

Paul also has done a presentation. And he's been on Make Some Noise once or twice.

[@mickleman52]

@@Robcobes oh shoot... now I really wanna sign up for Drop Out, love me some PFT. I feel like Drop Out is the new EarWolf, seeing as how the wolf is in fact dead.

[@cichlisuite666]

@mickleman fr, it's been so fun seeing him and Zach and Jess on dropout shows. Brings back happy memories of binging Spontaneanation

[@3vaniamaria]

I'm hopeful that pft is there to record a special off book episode about the beautiful and terrible mystery of the ocean (of which there have already been many)

[@decimusanothos5178]

SAND 👏 IS 👏 BONES 👏 BONES 👏 IS 👏 SAND 👏

[@ani-o315]

THE WHALES 👏 EAT 👏 THE BONES 👏 INTO 👏 SAND 👏

[@RJnottheraccoon]

OH I AM SO EXCITED TO WATCH THIS! I have watched all the clips I can, ordered the pin, and made a “SAND IS BONE BONES ARE SAND” key chain!! So now I can finally watch the whole presentation all together!!! P.s I actually love the ocean I just think Zach is hilarious!!! 🤩🥰😂 P.p.s I hope to get a dropout subscription soon! I just don’t right now 😭

[@cadekachelmeier7251]

You can listen to the Off Book podcast for more of Zach, if you didn't already know.

[@spiderodoom]

“Dolphins are prey animals”, I’m so sorry Erica, but have you SEEN what dolphins do to other underwater life? They’re absolutely underwater predators. Call them Swim Diddy.

[@MenachemSchmuel]

yeah, predators in more ways than one too. dolphins are sick in the head

[@noobbrosif]

Sea Diddy

[@user-kw5jl5wt9f]

@@noobbrosif sea Diddy is objectively better

[@alexpanda7599]

I think she said that because usually predators have eyes in the front of their head (e.g. humans, tigers), and preys have eyes on the side (e.g. rabbits, mice). I wonder why it's not the case for dolphins, we need a hank green cameo to figure that out.

[@Nalehw]

@@alexpanda7599 I wonder if that rule just doesn't hold in the ocean, what with it having totally different axes of movement? I can't think of any fish with obviously forward-facing eyes, not even sharks.

[@jdm5570]

Omg that was the absolute best. I can't wait to see this chopped into 30 second shorts on repeat for the next 6 months

[@Gford912]

I can’t pay attention to a video longer than 10 seconds, I need subway surfers playing under the video so I stay interested

[@crazysasha1374]

The shorts are already out.

[@brewdaly1873]

It's almost like they've gained the vast majority of their subscribers by releasing free shorts, and that has proven to be the cheapest, most effective form of advertising available to such a small company.

[@jdm5570]

@brewdaly1873 A. It was meant to be tongue and cheek. B. Sams networth is like 26 million, and dropouts valuation seems to be in the double digit millions. So I wouldn't call it a small business, but it certainly isn't a multimedia mogul. C. Thank you for defending the "underdogs" catering to the youtube algorithm. Plenty of successful channels have done fine with long format, which is what this show is supposed to be. They aren't heros for helping drive the collective attention span down of the species. Good thing I love dropout and it's content, even if annoying pendants like you like to stumble out of your cave to reenact "ummm actually" but not in a cute or funny way like Trapp does, but like the neckbeards they lampoon. Have a great day!

[@brewdaly1873]

@@jdm5570 My comment was also meant to be tongue in cheek. I'm sorry that you missed that, and felt the need to type up an entire dissertation that doesn't even disprove anything I said, and then accuse me of being the neckbeard. Sam has directly stated that most of their paid subscribers come from people seeing these shorts or tiktoks. No matter what you may feel, this has proven to be the most effective way to advertise their platform thus far, and it's basically free. I never said they were heros, but they certainly aren't "driving down the attention span of the species." Get off your high horse, you'll have more fun. Peace out.

[@SkywalkerAni]

2:00 Zach's fish speech reminds me of Liam's "I do not like fish, I do not even respect fish" rant from episode 19 of the podcast Well There's Your Problem.

[@ellathompson6052]

“Alligators I respect. Fish? Absolutely not.”

[@SkywalkerAni]

@ellathompson6052 look, gators are nature's perfect killing machine.

[@Pyrozoid]

8:22 this is my favorite bit ever. soo funny.

[@ashleygreen5343]

"SAND IS NOT BONE S**T!!!" 07:56 Kills me every time 😂

[@Mahrac126]

I believe the Netherlands would like a word about that fact at 1:15.

[@freezemypath4]

Erica’s face after the flag comment is hilarious

[@eyaldiskin3665]

Fine, I will watch this again

[@daniyurie]

Can't believe he didn't mention sharks are older than trees.

[@mathijsfrank9268]

"The ocean is undefeated" as a Dutchman I politely disagree.

[@darthquaider54]

This had perhaps the most unexpected laughs of any Smartypants presentation so far. Zach is amazing on Off Book, glad he got this chance to shine on his own!

[@audoldends6799]

Unfathomably is such a good pun I CANT

[@zelly4914]

I misquoted it as "Whales eat the sand into bones" and it is much more terrifying that way.

[@elitettelbach4247]

This was one of my favorite presentations from the season! So glad to see it here in full glory!

[@verbodenmagi]

This is so real though He might be cooking

[@hofficalz]

As a shark enthusiast the shark part made me cry 😭 Sharks are so vital and misunderstood creatures

[@Sifeus]

Uh huh. Nice try Shark Enthusiast. (An enthusiast that is a shark)

[@Nalehw]

Vital... to the ecosystem of the OCEAN! The ocean which wants to kill you! The sharks themselves might not be killers, but they're cronies of Big Water!

[@zekenkurolyon]

"I eat the bones into sand" is going to live rent free in my head for so long

[@ashyashy1018]

3:37 I die laughing every time it cuts to him just leaning over and pointing at the turtle

[@FlawlessRhythmGG]

Dropout really blessed y'all making this free.

[@micahphilson]

7:25 *Please* bring up Bone Worms! Ah, just sand. Yeah, sand is ground-up bone dust, at least in part. Now get to the horrifying Bone Worms!

[@elipage5505]

I’ll admit I was very disappointed when I found out I couldn’t actually get a “Come Here And Die” shirt.

[@explodingexpy]

i love how fully focused and invested erika looks in all of these

[@WaspApologist]

Patrick shaking his head at the TRUTH sand is bones bones is sand! He must be shilling for Big Ocean.

[@Kjane921]

I so badly want a “no thank you the ocean” mug

[@romxxii]

Dolphins are in fact, predators. The reason their eyes are on the side of their head is because ocean predators use other senses to hunt. Dolphins use their melon to echolocate or even stun their prey. Sharks use their sense of smell and their lateral lines -- which detect electric signals generated by movement of muscles.

[@patrickjenson827]

IDK why. But this is my favorite presentation.

[@RubyGeeScuderia]

A very talented public speaker. Should hire him for company meetings!

[@juliadandy6019]

The "bones into sand" has replaced "my gramma is a survivor" as my obligatory quote under any video featuring Zach Reino.

[@saskiascott8181]

Omg was that Zach??? I did not put that together!

[@juliadandy6019]

@saskiascott8181 YES! He is the terrific DJ on Crazy Ex Girlfriend! That part of the song gets me every time

[@saskiascott8181]

@juliadandy6019 I know so good! I have to go back and listen to that song now

[@blazypika2]

the pressure at the bottom of the ocean is actually so great that it causes bones to dissolve and turn into limestone.

[@GardensAndGames]

"Little fish that are rocks with tongues" could be clams, anemones, barnacles, I guess technically that also describes stonefish.

[@jackdillon1488]

Zach deserves an Emmy for this masterpiece.

[@abbacado7336]

“ALL HAIL ZACH REINO” we scream in unison

[@livliveart]

ALL HAIL ZACH REINO

[@ecwoodrow]

A very insightful presentation. We truly have no idea what Poseidon is plotting and we should be worried it. Is he working with the aliens? Is he the aliens?! More research is required.

[@broceratops1337]

You guys are making it REALLY hard for me to not make this show my only form of education. It's a problem that is solely my responsibility to fix but you are contributing to the difficulty. Thank you and congratulations ❤️

[@julianaalvarez2102]

I was in the middle of drinking coffee and started choking at the sand part of the presentation, almost dying. 10/10 presentation ✨

[@garciavashchino1]

Where does this Air completely... like the entire ep!!! Cause again this GOES HARD!!!!

[@bassclef81]

Dropouts streaming service. Its fantastic🎉

[@babeybang]

With a dropout subscription on youtube or their app! It's a whole season with 3 presentations per episode

[@garciavashchino1]

@babeybang thank you kindly!!!

[@dogbreathTK]

zach reino is absolutely one of my favorite people

[@marsmech]

"Pun taken" broke me

[@rampion57]

I hope they do another season, this show is great and this presentation specifically is my absolute favorite

[@TimpanistMoth_AyKayEll]

"Their very existence is a trap" resonates with me so deeply. ...am I a fake fish?

[@mcdirty764]

This was the best part of the entire series. Love it

[@thenightranger987]

I wish we got Zach’s ending questions so we could see Zach’s counter to the question of whether Octopi were UFOs

[@starsfall4us199]

I love when someone does the thing I’ve thought about to myself for so long and just goes crazy

[@Sifeus]

Knowing that PFT is the world's biggest Jaws fan makes this better.

[@MoviesAndHeists]

"unfathomably" is such an underrated pun

[@westcoastavenger]

These Smartypants presentations are the funniest bits I’ve seen since maybe the glory days of Anchorman/Zoolander. Definitely in the same breath as the best Please Don’t Destroy and up there with the GOAT Wet Hot American Summer.

[@relzyn5545]

6:16 "those are sunglasses for predators, not prey animals" I'll have you know dolphins are in fact predators, in multiple senses of the word

[@redbirb]

Oh Oh no

[@Charcoal190]

Oh man I really need to watch this series huh

[@RobSandman]

As a Rescue Diver(30 years..., I've seen some shit), I fully support this message! the ocean be scurry, son!

[@advid01]

Brown sand is mostly tiny fragments of rocks and shells, white sand is from parrot fish eating coral and pooping out the calcium. Someone else mentioned it but bone worms are a thing.

[@westonmarks925]

The most batshit insane one I’ve seen yet on this show.

[@coltonbunja]

this is, without a doubt, one of the funniest 10 minutes that DropOut has every produced.

[@thecrabman777]

I love the fact that yes something is eating the bones! They're small "worms" that sink their roots in and feed on the marrow. Also there is a point to be made about bones potentially being sand. There are parts of bones that cant be used after a while and are just thin more porous versions of their former self meaning its easy for them to break down. Whether its the oceans heavy currents smashing them into rocks or creatures messing with them the bones will eventually be broken down. Bones are sand. Sand is bones.

[@buffienguyen]

thank you for posting this into your KZbin so i could watch it for the 200th time

[@joriandekievit9478]

Excuse you, there is another party that can hurt the ocean. We are called the dutch

[@Justus4Libertea]

The way he said "Sand is bones, bones are sand" sounded like Nick Miller, "Gave Mr cookie, give you cookie" 😅

[@02881519]

Best one yet. No surprise Reino and the ocean don't mix.

[@Violaphobia]

We need more Zach, and more SmartyPants!!!

[@elizab.8146]

my favorite thing is katie just confirming all of it

[@SarahAbramova]

I kinda wish he predicted the sad dolphin thing, and then the next slide shows a teary eyed dolphin.

[@OceanPuddle]

I’m going to take this personally

[@shinankoku2]

Dear Ocean: no thank you!!!😢

[@kamikiku]

"Unfathomably fucked" is a great pun that deserved at least a small chuckle

[@aawallace98]

lyle wrath had been saying this for years

[@marielpare8290]

Birthdays, The Ocean, and Bodies are my favorites and I rewatch them so much 😂

[@therojowo]

in my opinion, the absolute best presentation on Smartypants

[@Pinnipedantic]

my all time favorite presentation. sand is bones and bones is sand.

[@superb_ren]

MY FEAR OF THE OCEAN IS VALIDATED!!!!!